the only show that never disappoint when it comes to the otp

a few thoughts from a former C$waner and the road to Swen

why did I change my mind ? 

I was desperate for some true love story, and ouat was offering that or so I thought …

we can all agree that Snowing is True love and same with rumbelle, but what what I really wanted was a true love story for the savior, Emma deserved it, especially after what she’s been through with Neal and Graham … hook was the perfect candidate wasn’t he ? 

The guy is hot as hell, i’ve always loved blue eyes contoured with eye liner ;), he was cocky but most importantly ; a villain ! who doesn’t love villains ? Loki, moriarty, Rumpelstiltskin… hook was unapologetically selfish and just .. bad, but he starts developing feelings for emma, and starts the road to ‘redemption’, now comes my personal view on this, i’ve always had bad experiences with men, my father being the first ( the guy is a cheater and selfish af ), I was desperate for a good story showing that a man can change but mostly that men can be good, I mean we all want to see that, so I start investing myself in hook and let’s say the truth here, season two and three hook WAS GOOD, he was on the right path to redeeming himself ( with a few mistakes here and there, at the time I thought it was alright, you can’t change overnight ), with Captain swan hints being dropped along the way, I was okay with, more than okay with even, Emma was getting a love story with a man who willing to change for her, we have enough of these stories already but fairytale stories have more meaning right ? so this one was special,,, and things start going downhill from there ( I will never say it out loud, but C$ was disappointing me from there i’ll never admit it out loud but i can say it on here) hook was treating Emma worse and worse, but they always found a way to make him ‘apologize’ for it and just like Emma I bought his crap (because whether i want it or not society has taught me to just do that) even tho’ a part of me still thought that was wrong, I still gave him the 5th 6th 7th 8th … chance! and another part of me also didn’t want to be disappointed in the show that changed my life, I watched the episodes days or weeks later on (never happened in s3 and before ) but I still cling to the hope of happiness for Emma and trusted the writers to make it better, but C$ wasn’t that ooh so worshiped OTP of mine, it wasn’t the true love story I dreamed of, I Got so confused at times ( when Emma lied to hook about him being the dark one for example, OR WHEN SHE KILLED HIM SO HE COULD DIE A HERO?!? I kept telling myself what kind of love is that ? and I’m passing so many more) but because they made sense on paper I didn’t give too much of a thought, I convinced myself that its writers giving us shit drama like always

 and then arrives season 6,the season of realization : while in the previous season hook  was making mistakes, and I forgived him, my brain just couldn’t take it anymore, hook is a living mistake in this season, I even started to question his character, and what was his general goal was ? but then again, I love Emma so much, I wasn’t now just acting like her but like most of the characters at this point ? they all want her happiness and just let her be with that toxic man ? I feel like her parents and everyone else feels the same at this point, in took David 4 seasons to finally ‘accept’ the guy ( and by his look he wasn’t sure of his decision), I just wanted Emma to have her happy ending.

when did I realize that they weren’t meant for each other you say ? 

WHEN HE LIED TO HER ABOUT KILLING HER GRANDFATHER. the guy lowkey wanted to burn the memory of it, he was thinking for an entire episode whether to tell her the truth or not ? and when he finally decides to do so the worst proposal of all times happens and then he just what?  burns the memory of his act. he could’ve interrupted her that night and tell her the truth BUT HE DIDN’T. he was willing to start their married life together with a lie, and not just oh I swear I didn’t at that woman’s chest lie, HE KILLED HER GRANDFATHER, thats a divorce cause material. thats when I realized Emma’s true love wasn’t hook ( plus all the previous moments in the previous seasons) 

let’s talk about Swan queen for a minute:

I was the biggest ‘swan queen friendship’ shipper, in my early oncer days I was against them being romantic, probably because of my personal experience as well, I was having some troubles with my own sexuality at the time, I refused to acknowledge it, even if it’s just watching a queer couple on TV, it made me uncomfortable and I feared that if I gave in in that aspect of my life it’d become too real ( and held into C$ ) Only just last year that I came out to friends as Bi, so yeah Swan queen was no option for me, BUT IT WASN’T for them, I still saw their actions, I still saw their looks their mutual love for each, their deep affection to one another, the fact that they lean on each other, help one another and never ever stopped believing in one another, but still my dumb closeted self refused to believe it.

how does my personal life influence my vision of this ship tho’:

I believe, like ouat has told in ep’ 6x14 the most important thing in life is accepting and loving yourself, after one special event in my life I finally saw the light about myself and admitted what I was denying my whole life and now I love me ( just like regina does now ) and started seeing ouat with new eyes, eyes that could finally see and a heart that could finally admit that swan queen is the real deal, my eyes and heart finally see that the true love I wanted for Emma has always been there the character development I wanted to see was in Regina, her happy ending was there that whole time. 

now thats just my personal take on it, you don’t have to be lgbt to see it, hook isn’t the right one for Emma, Regina is, and I will repeat this as much as i have to … if it is the last thing I do ;)

ps: thanks to that ONE tumblr post who made me go back and re-watch all the swan queen videos haha

What We Created (9)

Sebastian Stan x Reader (pregnancy series)

Summary: A one nightstand with the one and only Sebastian Stan changes your life and his forever

Word count: 1,308 (short because sadly the storyy is coming to an end)

Warning: fluff, gender reveal

A/N: Seriously so sorry for taking this long to update. I started real estate classes and my first day i took so many notes my hand started swelling. Life is really draining me right now, on top of keeping my Instagram and YouTube updated and getting ready for college. I hope you understand. Hopefully part 10 comes faster than this part did. Also lets pretend Anthony Mackie has social media, okay?

What We Created Masterlist

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It was never about a TV show.

I’ve been in several TV fandoms over the years. Star Trek, Mork and Mindy, Beauty and the Beast, Moonlighting, Doogie Howser, 90210, Dark Angel, Ally McBeal, Doctor Who, House, Lie to Me, Burn Notice, Firefly, Gilmore Girls, The Office, HIMYM, White Collar, Downton Abbey, Sherlock, Outlander, etc.

I’ve always loved watching TV shows with other people and analyzing the story, the characters, the ships, the writing…I get thinky and geek out. I love it. For almost a few decades, I’ve had my husband to do that with.

So, when my husband decided to stop watching OUAT with me after season four, I came here. Why? Because people out there think I’m weird when I talk spec, talk headcanons, multiship, get excited over a fictional wedding, or watch/read spoilers and talk about them. When I’m, y’know…me.

I’ve made some great friends who were simply fellow geeks. Why? Because you let me be me. You tell me it’s not only okay, but it’s awesome. Because you get the obsession, the excitement, the unabashed joy when a show or movie or book or comic series or game or thing is great. You get the disappointment, the sadness, the rage, the upset, the sick feeling in your stomach when something goes down and it means your favorite thing is about to change or go away.

When Star Trek: TNG went to movies and wasn’t my constant…

When my OTP finally got together on Moonlighting and then the writing went to shit…

When they cancelled Dark Angel just as the cops and the transgenics were at a standoff…

I rage quit Ally McBeal when RDJ went to prison and Larry left. That Sting solo is still my fave

FIREFLY. No explanation needed.

FUCKING DOOMSDAY. Pink and yellow papercut was my LOVE on Doctor Who.

(same show): When the Ponds got taken by Manhattan.

House and Cuddy. WTF.

When Matthew died on Downton Abbey, I didn’t watch for a whole season. I was in mourning.

Hydra Cap

And then Once Upon a Time killed Killian a handful of times, and killed Robin, and here we are.

I don’t know if I’ll watch season 7 of OUAT, if it happens. I might not like it. If I don’t, I don’t. I’ll figure things out. I get why Jennifer left, and that’s cool. She and I are the same age. I just made a huge life-change as well. It happens. It doesn’t mean I’m not worried about Emma, or Henry, or Hook, or the Charmings, or Regina, or Storybrooke.

But I’ve been here before, and I’ll be here again, I’m sure. So will you. The only constant is change.

So, I’ve got your back, and you’ve got mine, no matter what show or movie or book comes next.

I’ll get sappy and personal under the cut:

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I feel like i’m a broken record at this point, so I just need to make a really long post about Bughead so i can effectively put all my thoughts out there. 

Hi, let me introduce myself. My name is Kiley and i’m addicted to bughead. Bughead: Mixture of the names Betty and Jughead. A beautiful ship of understanding and care between two beautiful people. 

“She can appreciate his moodiness and his darkness because she has that within her as well.” - Lili Reinhart

“Jughead was this character that was very much searching for- yaknow a comfort and companionship in other people and uh, he ended up finding that within this super nurturing, care taking, loving figure that Betty Cooper has become.” “It’s something deeper and more romantic then I think people are going to expect- which is nice.” - Cole Sprouse

 All of the things I have been seeing in the Bughead tag are these:

1. Asexual Jughead complaints 

2. People talking about no chemistry

3. People complaining about it being too soon

4. Pure hatred and disgusting comments about Bughead shippers or just the ship in general.

Opinion on 1: *clears throat* So. I can understand why people want the asexual representation and are upset. It would be interesting/amazing to see the sexuality played out on screen and it would be so lovely for the asexual people to see someone with their sexuality on tv. BUT- Cole Sprouse has said that he does not believe they are going that route with this version of Jughead, yes, VERSION. There are different version of Jughead, until the most recent version of Jughead, there was no CANON asexual Jughead. I believe if the creators of the show want to make him not asexual (or asexual) then they should. (And don’t attack me for saying this please because I literally have said an asexual Juggie would be amazing.) My point is, they already have said his character is not asexual, so arguing and being mad about it is honestly like speaking to a brick wall because it most likely is not going to change. 

I have heard though that next season Jughead could find out that he is asexual (because he is supposed to be 15-16) and I think that would be cool seeing as Lili said “Betty and Jugheads relationship as it progresses is really quite beautiful and they’re very supportive to one another.” which in my head would work so well with Jughead coming out as asexual to her.

OFF TO OPINION ON 2: I mean you can have the opinion that they have no chemistry, but literally before episode 6 I got the strongest vibes off of them both just from short glances they shared. When Jughead put his hand on Betty’s shoulder in episode 5 I believe when Grandma Blossom scared them- to me it came off like ‘Protective Jughead is being protective without being too protective to make Betty think I don’t like her’. ALSO, if Bughead wasn’t written since the beginning someone literally has to tell Cole because I think he always thought Jughead was in love with her. He stares SO intensely at Betty and it’s like you can see the gears turning in his head, making me wonder what he is thinking about while looking at her. Probably “Wow Betty 10/10 hope Alice Cooper doesn’t stab me to death.”

The chemistry is ALSO SO FUCKING STRONG because they can share single glances and just KNOW what the other is trying to say. The breakfast table scene. The lunch table scene. The Home For Troubled Youth scene where she looks back at him in the hallway. LIKE I JUST CANT. Maybe I am just delusional but I hope I am not and someone notices the things I do.

Opinion on 3: OKAY THIS. THIS. I have a strong opinion on this. Like my own little head canon until it is addressed. I believe that Jughead has had a crush on Betty for a while but he could never say anything because he knew how she felt about Archie. Archie was his best friend and he didn’t want to intrude on something between Betty and Archie potentially.BUT- he probably heard about what happened between Archie and Betty and realizes that he can slowly start to show his emotions now (obviously not forcing them onto her but gently nudging them her way to let her know because he knows she is trying to get over Archie still). Betty and Jughead have known each other since childhood, so to them it definitely isn’t random or too soon. For some people who do not see it my way, please just realize we only have been looking in on their life for 6 episodes. But their lives were going on before the show, and we don’t know the things that went on in their lives  before (other than what we hear and future flashbacks hopefully.) Cool? Cool. 

Opinion on 4: I have no opinion besides, I’m disappointed. I’m not gonna return your hate with more hate because that’s not how I work. But thanks for calling me names for something I ship and assuming you know everything about me :) 

On another note, I have something to say. I think it’s funny how because it’s Bughead everyone is mad and triggered but I feel like if Jarchie happened, everyone would forget about their arguments most likely and no fighting would be happening. But I mean, Obviously it wouldn’t be hated on because some representation is being spread- BUT it still would be taking away his asexuality so I feel like everyone is lowkey a hypocrite. AND NO I am not saying everyone who is anti-bughead wouldn’t feel the same towards Jarchie as they feel towards Bughead, but I have noticed a lot of people who are against Bughead and using the arguement of asexual Jughead, also ship Jarchie.. just my thoughts. 


Johnlock: From BrOTP to OTP

(Warning: homophobic people/situations mentioned)
When I first started watching BBC Sherlock, one of the things that stood out to me that I liked most about it was the friendship between John and Sherlock. I couldn’t quite figure out what was so special about their friendship, but it was clearly the center of the show. Their friendship was what made Sherlock what it was to me. It wasn’t long until I discovered the fandom online, digging into all of the amazing fan art, fan videos, fan theories, and surprising to myself, even reading the fanfic. It was through all of these that I learned about shipping, and thanks to my innocent heteronormativity, Sherl0lly became my OTP. It was unavoidable that I also became aware of the ship Johnlock. I was raised Catholic and taught that the homosexual acts are a sin. My parents are very conservative and homophobic. I had never even considered the idea of Sherlock and John in a romantic relationship. Unfortunately, I assumed that only people who are gay shipped Johnlock because they wanted to see themselves in something that wasn’t there. (I was so wrong. I’m so sorry.) I completely ignored Johnlock at first, but in the Sherlock fandom, it’s pretty much impossible to entirely avoid seeing anything Johnlock. I remember staying up late on my phone when I was supposed to be sleeping, scrolling through fan art. I came across a picture of Sherlock and John kissing in the dark with rain pouring outside, sprinkled on the window. A part of me had alarms going off in my head that this was somehow wrong, but those feelings were muffled by one thought: this is beautiful. I truly thought that this one work of art was the most beautiful picture I had seen in the fandom. I risked downloading the picture on my phone, knowing that no one would see it. That was only the beginning. I saw a few more pictures I couldn’t help loving: a potterlock drawing, a drawing of John and his sister Harry. I don’t ship Johnlock, but these are beautiful, I thought. I later came across a Johnlock fan video edited with one of my favorite songs (The Scientist by Coldplay). I don’t ship Johnlock, but my favorite song with my favorite TV show is perfection, I thought. (I tried to ignore this at the time, but I couldn’t help thinking how clear it was that the video was a Johnlock fan video even though it was simply putting clips from the show together.) I was completely obsessed with the show by then. Sherlock was my life. Not a day went by when I did not think of the show (literally!). The show honestly even saved my life, but that’s a post for another time. Eventually, I found out about a fanfic that was apparently very popular in the fandom called “Alone on the Water” by MadLori. As many of you may know, the author describes Sherlock and John in this story as “hetero-life partners”. I do not know the authors intentions of this word choice in a story where Sherlock and John aren’t technically in a romantic relationship, but back then, I interpreted it as showing the possibility of a friendship stronger than people realize two friends can have. I’m the kind of person who usually has one or two friends who I’m closer with than my other friends, and those kind of relationships are really important to me. Reading that story was when I decided to “friend-ship” Johnlock while still romantically shipping Sherl0lly. I later learned the term “BrOTP” which I thought was accurate for John and Sherlock. Each of these pieces were like pebbles being added to the Johnlock scale. Later, I found a short fanfic called “Fin?” by JustlikeWater. This was what tipped the scale. I cried reading this fic. It read like poetry, and it changed my views entirely. (You can still read the review I left as as guest under the name of “mind blown”. That was before I had a account. I was so young then. I left another review later under my fanfic name “SherlockiansGetBored”, the name I now use to write Johnlock fanfic.) It was after reading that story that I officially considered myself a Johnlock shipper. I continued to read more Johnlock fics including “The Battlefield”, another tearjerker by JustlikeWater and the iconic “Performance in in a Leading Role” by MadLori. It wasn’t until December 2016 that I learned about TJLC (The JohnLock Conspiracy) through Rebekah’s TJLC Explained videos. (Hope you are doing well, Rebs!) My life was changed. I completely and unapologetically shipped Johnlock and became a believer in TJLC. I finally stopped shipping Sherl0lly after watching the Molly Hooper video. Everything made sense once I realized that she is a mirror for John. It was actually through those videos that I came to accept that I am bisexual (I had been questioning my sexuality since 9th grade). I remember a time when my mom actually thought Benedict Cumberbatch was gay, and I was like, no way! He’s married with a kid. I thought she had gotten the idea from The Imitation Game, but she said no, she meant in Sherlock. I was thinking to myself that Sherlock isn’t actually gay. He’s secretly in love with Molly Hooper, I thought stupidly. Either that or he’s asexual. A year later, and my mind was completely changed. On the day that the “I Love You” trailer came out, I told my mom that Sherlock is gay and that he is in love with John, but she was and is still homophobic, so she changed the subject and started talking about Dwayne Johnson. A few days later, I risked explaining TJLC to her, but she simply responded, “Gay is not okay.” I knew then that I was not coming out to her or my dad as Bi any time soon, if ever. Like everyone else, I was more than disappointed when Johnlock wasn’t canon in series 4. If Steven and Mark didn’t have the courage to make history, why should I admit to my parents who I really am? I continued to be cautiously hopeful that Johnlock still has a chance to be canon. I don’t know if it ever will, but I have realized the answer to my question. The reason that Sherlock and John’s relationship is so special is because it isn’t just a friendship. BBC Sherlock is a romance. Whether Moffat and Gatiss will admit it or not, even raised in a homophobic family, I knew that John and Sherlock are in love. No matter what anybody says, BBC Sherlock is inevitably the greatest love story that will ever be told.

Stupidly obvious solmates

A while back @loving-cs-fanfiction reblogged this post and I was stupid enough to start writing this prompt on top of all the things I had to do already, today I finally give her The Thing. It’s slightly more stupid than anything she might have wanted, but I had all the fun writing it. Unbeta’d so forgive me for these 5300 words (exactly geez) of Captain Swan. I’ll re-read it later, but for now I just want it to be OUT of my drafts.

tagging also @killiancygnus because I know she might like it.


Without further ado, I give you the silliest soulmate au you’ve ever read.

Rum was a good idea. Vodka was an awesome idea. Thank God for Ruby and her incredible supply of alcohol, because Emma was having the time of her life.

So what if she had an nine a.m. class the morning after? She could do it. She could totally drink everyone under the table, she was not at all drunk. Not one bit.

“Emma, careful! The table!”

Okay, maybe she was a little bit drunk. Just a tad. No biggie, she could use Granny’s hangover cure in the morning and everything would be fine. She kind of hoped she would black out so she wouldn’t remember seeing Killian fucking Jones sporting her name on his exposed chest like some sort of prize or whatever because he was the sworn enemy of his own buttons.

Wear a fucking t-shirt for fuck’s sake. Fuck.

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Going blind, but not deaf

This is for @lady-mephistopheles and @agent-eggy because one of them show me the following prompt from @those-otp-prompts

Person A, B, and C/best friend of the two are in a Skype call when B mutes themselves because they need to go somewhere. In reality, B is nosy and wants to listen to a conversation between A and C/best friend. Cue A admitting that they have a crush on B to C/best friend while B is listening.

+Bonus#1: B unmutes themselves and admits they feel the same way/C telling A that B is listening.

++Bonus for #1: A gets flustered and gets called cute by everyone in the call.

Since it’s screamed Hartwin and they are two of my favourite enablers, I told them that as soon as I finished the bang I would be on it. So here it is ;) Hope you enjoy my darlings o3o

Going blind, but not deaf

“Be right back, I need to change.”

Eggsy’s feed goes dark and Merlin finally acknowledge Harry who’s been standing behind him for quite some time already.

“Not too disappointed of not getting a free show I hope?”

“This is not why I am here.” He’s only half-lying and judging by Merlin’s smirk, the handler is perfectly aware of it. It doesn’t stop Harry from persisting in his lie though. “I have those autorisations you needed.”

“Hmmhmm.” He grabs the papers Harry is handing him and doesn’t even give them a cursory look before putting them away to file later. “Strange how you always seem to have paperwork for me whenever Galahad’s close to his hotel room.”

“That’s purely coincidental.”

Merlin snorts and if Harry thought his friend would let the matter once again he’s proven wrong pretty quickly.

“The first time maybe, but I’m sure your decisions to come down so often is greatly influenced by how often Galahad forgets to turn off his feed when he gets naked.”

“I’ve come plenty of time when he’s just doing usual mission stuff too.”

“I’ll concede you that one, but don’t you find it strange how you never seem to come around whenever I’m not handling Galahad’s mission?”

This time, Merlin loses his smirk, raising an eyebrow, clearly expecting an answer. He’d probably let him get away with not answering, but if he’s being honest with himself, keeping silent about his profound affection for Eggsy is starting to weight heavy on him.

“What do you want from me Merlin? Admit that I worry about him more than I should? You don’t have to tell me he’s more than capable to deal with whatever comes his way, I know he is. But I still worry and I always will. Sue me for being an old fool in love.”

There he’s said the word out loud for the first and probably the only time. It’s a bit of a shame that Eggsy won’t ever get to know just how much he’s loved, but truly, it’s better that way. He wouldn’t want him to be uncomfortable around him for anything in the world.

However, before either of them can say anything more, the screen that had been displaying Eggsy’s feed gets on again.

“Did I hear that right? Are you- Are you in love with me?” He should look ridiculous, staring in the mirror as if he can see them through it, in his pants and struggling to get out of his undershirt, but, like always, Harry is stricken by how beautiful he is.

From the corner of his eyes, he notices Merlin’s apologetic expression, meaning that the handler mustn’t have noticed that Eggsy had only shut off the video part of his feed and thus had heard everything they had said.

He could still deny it, find a way to turn his own words into something they’re not, but the cat’s out of the bad. And even if he does it for a living, Harry has grown rather tired of lying all the time.

“Yes Eggsy, you heard me right.” Eggsy gasps softly and finally frees himself from his undershirt, letting it fall on the ground without even seeming to notice. “But you needn’t concern yo-”

“’Needn’t concert myself?” Pfffft, you’re cute. Of course I’ll bloody concern myself with it!” Harry winces and braces himself for Eggsy’s rejection, for the breaking of all that ties them together, but whatever harsh words he was imagining, they never come. Instead, Eggsy’s expression turns soft and longing. Harry wishes he could reach out to him, cup his cheek in the palm of his hand and maybe kiss some happiness back into his eyes. “You love me, Harry. I- I never thought…” He cuts himself off, doubts crossing his face and Harry doesn’t know what scenarios he’s coming up with, only that he doesn’t care much for the sad curl of Eggsy’s lips.

“Well, I do. I do love you Eggsy. And if you’re willing to give me a chance, I-”

Again, Eggsy interrupts him, but this time with joyous laughter and he seem to light up the whole room with just his smile.

“Oh, Harry! You’re really cute. Of course I am ‘willing’!”

He wants nothing more than for Eggsy to see him now, know that he’s made him just as happy as Eggsy seems to be, but that is unfortunately not to be.

“Alright, as much as I am glad you’ll both stop with your pining, you’re still on a mission Galahad. And Arthur, I am sure you have more paperwork to fill out.”

He does indeed and usually Harry would dread it, but today, with Eggsy’s laughter still echoing in his ears, he finds that he doesn’t mind it as much.

Please tell me we didn’t have sex last night (2/4)

You can read the first part hereThank you so much for all of your likes/comments/reblogs, it really means a lot x

Abby doesn’t know how long she’s been hunched over the toilet bowl, but after what feels a lifetime, her stomach is finally starting to settle down. After taking several deep breaths, she slowly releases her death grip on the bowl before settling down on her bum. Letting out a miserable groan, Abby resolutely tries to ignore the fact that Marcus is still crouching next to her on the ground. He has stopped stroking her back, but he’s still sitting rather close.    

“Do you want me to get you something?”, Marcus asks softly, breaking the awkward silence that had descended over them.

Abby weakly shakes her head, “No, I think I’m-”, she starts to reply, but another wave of nausea hits her and she’s doubled over the toilet bowl once more. 

Marcus quickly gathers her hair again, but fortunately this time her nausea only lasts for a couple of seconds. As Abby leans back, she gratefully accepts the piece of toilet paper he offers her before wiping her mouth with it.

“Ugh. I’m sorry you had to see this”, she murmurs, feeling her cheeks flush from embarrassment.

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So, Prison Break will be back in a matter of hours.

And to a lot of you, that may mean nothing. 

But it means a hell of a lot to me.

Prison Break first aired when I was fourteen. I don’t remember much about the night itself, but what I do remember is kicking up a real fuss when my brothers outvoted me on the choice of programming, the two of them commandeering the TV remote and forcing me to watch the pilot of this new prison show instead of the episode of House that I had apparently very much wanted to watch at the time. After that night, though, House certainly never took precedence in my schedule ever again, because I had fallen hard for Prison Break in a way that I never had with a show before (or since), my soul already eagerly sold to it before the credits were even rolling on the first episode. 

For the next four years of my life, it was my obsession, my joy, my greatest love, the one thing I could talk endlessly about (particularly any part related to MiSa, my OTP of all OTPs), and the mere thought of which would always make me happy. It led me to my first fan forum, to amazing friends (who I am still in touch with to this day), and also brought me into the world of fanfiction, which in itself became (and remains) a hugely important part of my life. 

As it went on, the show not only taught me life lessons like sacrifice and making difficult decisions and taking responsibility for your actions; it also taught me about myself, and what I wanted and valued and believed. And, as with any show that truly pulls you in, the characters were always far more than just actors spouting lines– they were like family to me, and I celebrated and struggled and grieved with them through four incredible and traumatising seasons. I genuinely cried more tears for them and their pain than I ever did over anything else in my own (obviously very fortunate and privileged) life. 

The same year that Prison Break ended, I graduated high school and was accepted into medical school, a career that I had chosen for several very good reasons, not the least of which was because my still-forming teenage self had looked at Dr Sara Tancredi and had seen exactly the kind of woman I wanted to grow up to be. About five years after that, I was freshly graduated as a doctor, and finally got the chance to meet Went, Dom, and Sarah at my first Comic Con, and was able to thank them in person for the beautiful thing that they had helped create, and which– in Sarah’s case in particular, of course– had helped to create me. 

Today, I’m exactly a month shy of my twenty-sixth birthday, and have been a doctor for almost two and a half years, having even worked briefly in the prison system during that time, among many other things. I may not have the posters hanging on my wall anymore, and the cardboard box full of memorabilia and carefully folded cranes might be tucked away in a closet out of sight, but even still, this show has never left me. It’s in the “Be the change you want to see in the world” ring that I’ve worn every day for the last nine years. It’s in the tiny origami flower that has been tattooed on the back of my left ear since I was nineteen. It’s in the crane that was tattooed on my left wrist two years ago in Chicago, with those same old forum friends beside me, all coming together for the first time in our ten-year friendship to visit the city and the prison that had been the setting for the story that had brought us into each other’s lives. But even more than the marks on my skin, its mark is still inside me, a permanent building block in the foundation of who I am. 

In the last eight years, there’s only one thing about this show that I’ve always regretted, one thing that I have literally wished (on shooting stars, four-leaf clovers, birthday cakes, 11:11, dandelions– you name it, I’ve wished on it) that I could change. Of course, I know that happy endings don’t always exist; that reality is hard and cruel and whatever, so supposedly TV should be too. But that never stopped me from wishing that there could have been just one more happy ending out there to give to this story.

Then, about two years ago, something happened. Stars– both astronomical and celebrity– aligned. Whispers like ‘reboot’ and ‘season 5′ floated around, and then suddenly, startlingly, my dream had started looking like a possibility. A possibility that eventually turned into a miraculous definite, the confirmation followed by months of filming and promoting that I promptly did my very best to ignore or hide from, because I was convinced that if I thought about it too much– let myself hope too much– it would somehow all disappear again; would revert to being merely an elaborate fantasy that I’d concocted in my head, a silly fangirl’s headcanon to rectify her OTP’s heartbreak as well as her own.

But tonight, it’s all becoming real. Tonight, for the first time in eight years, I will turn on my TV and see my character-family again; will experience that old feeling afresh. And though there’s certainly always the chance that the new season will somehow be a disappointment, or will only add more pain, it’s a chance I’m so very willing to take.  

A chance that I’m so, so grateful even exists.

So, if you can, tune in tonight (9/8c on Fox). Even if you’ve never watched before, even if you think that frankly I’m probably just overhyping it and it’s actually nowhere near as great as I claim. Do it anyway, and show the network and showrunners that what they have done means something to the viewers out there– to the people like me, who got far more from this show than just a fascinating story, who might have been a very different person today if they’d managed to wrestle the TV remote off of their brothers on that one night a dozen years ago. And who knows; a success for Prison Break now, like with The X-Files and Gilmore Girls before it, could mean reboots– and therefore justice– for even more beloved shows down the line, and even more opportunities for other fans to re-experience the things that helped to shape them into who they are.

And, well, this moment may have been eight long years in the making– but whatever happens, it was worth it.

I just finished Howl’s Moving Castle and oh god guys I have so many feelings about this book

I could go on and on about how wise and funny and wonderful it is (and I might, at some point, but I’m sure people infinitely more eloquent than me have already shared their thoughts) but right now I need to talk about Sophie and Howl because HOW I LOVE THEM

Probably my ultimate weakness is those couples that you don’t see coming, the ones that sneak up on you. The problem with couples that are obviously endgame from the first is that (although there are some that are well written) the majority just end up being dull. When you know from the very first scene that two people are going to get together, there’s nothing to root for.  

When it comes to my OTPs, I need to be caught off guard. I need to fall in love with them slowly, even as they fall in love with each other.

And that’s where I think Howl’s Moving Castle shines. I watched the movie before I read the book, so I knew how it ends, but I really do believe that anyone who hadn’t already seen the film could make it through at least half the book without thinking, well, Howl and Sophie are definitely endgame. Their relationship up till then is a thing of beauty in and of itself, even without the factor of romance.

And, oh, god. Don’t even get me started on the snark. I adore snarky couples in any and every permutation. I read them. I watch them. I write them. When I die, bury me in wryly sarcastic OTPs. 

(Note that there is a world of difference between snarky and cruel. I do not need or want couples who are terrible to each other, but OTPs who bat conversation back and forth between them like a ping-pong ball, who keep each other on their toes - ah, they are my catnip and kryptonite. See also: Jeff/Annie, Merlin/Arthur)

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Opinions on chapter 47 [SPOILERS]

(HEAVY SPOILERS - You were warned - you should really read the chapter before this or you are not going to understand much)

So, while the last chapter was a total epiphany, an explosion of joy and love and that unknown feeling when one of your OTPs becomes canon…
This chapter was, to put it simply, a disappointment.

Before you all fight me let me explain - I did NOT hate it, nor didn’t like it - it was okay, but I expected something different, something better. So my disappointment was mostly my fault. I really respect Junko and her work, I just think she made poor choices.

First of all, it was really nice seeing Mutsumi and Kae as a couple. They literally can’t take their hands off each other; they are at the very beginning of their relationship (or at least it seems so - but i’ll talk about this later), when everything’s cute and perfect. This obviously annoys everyone - especially their poor four rejected friends.

1st thing I didn’t like. In the last chapter, when Kae rejected them, they all showed very mature behaviour - they understood Mutsumi was the best for her, they loved her and so they let her go. But now.. all that sudden development kind of disappeared? I mean, we were given no explanation, we weren’t showed how they coped with the heartbreak and all– they were all just annoyed by Kae e Mutsu being lovey dovey and they were a bit sad. You would have deeper feelings after you got your heart broken by someone you had been in love with for months?? Also, what about Igarashi?! He had all that chapter about him falling for Kae, he really loved her and then.. he just gives up so easily? He just is a bit annoyed? Just that? Really?
Anyway, I hoped for a better representation of their thoughts and feelings, but I didn’t get it - fine, no problem, it will probably be shown in the next chapters.

2nd thing i didnt love at all: we are shown that yes, Kae and Mutsumi are all lovey-dovey, but why is that? Simple: Akane, Kae’s favourite character, is now married and with children, consequently meaning that he ‘betrayed’ his master. So, what did Kae do? She aimed all the passion she felt for Akane towards Mutsumi.
Again, it was probably just explained poorly - Kae likes Mutsumi, they are adorable together, and she enjoys being with him - it is strange for her to behave like that, sure, however I think they could have gotten a better explanation for that, this one was just really, really annoying.

3rd thing i HATED: GODDAMIT, they JUST got together, they didnt even HAD THE TIME to get to know each other in that way and deepen their romantic relationship, and there’s already drama?! Who the hell is that, a love rival of some sort?! And KAE, WHAT THE HELL DID HAPPEN. Kae was never very mature, okay, she was never perfect, right, she made many mistakes, true. But there is NO. FREAKING. WAY. she would have known that that day was really important for Mutsumi - being his grandparent’s death anniversary -, that he wanted her to come with him at his grave so that HE COULD INTRODUCE HER AS HIS GIRLFRIEND, and she STILL PREFER TO GO TO ONE OF THOSE EVENTS. That was just really annoying, stupid, selfish, immature of her. She had developed and grown so much in the last chapters… and now it’s like nothing happened. It was all for nothing. This just ruined her character. I want to cry, my poor Kae.

Last thing: I really don’t like when there are time jumps/cuts in books or manga. It divides me from the narration. Kae and Mutsumi’s relationship may have developed somehow, but very little of it was showed. It just happened too quickly, I had not the time to process it or to enjoy it at all. Everything felt out of place.

I really think Junko should have showed something different in this chapter - she should have concentrated on the other characters while showing a little of Kae and Mutsumi together - or she could have drawn a simple chapter just of Kae and Mutsumi starting their relationship (i just really wanted them to be all blushy and embarassed around each other, sigh). We just really needed a 'pause’ chapter after the chaos of events in the last chapters in my opinion. I understand that Junko is probably inexperienced - her BL manga were all very short - and so she may have difficulties in writing a longer story and developing it… but I just really hope she will get better and that all this situation will have a nice ending.

Well, that was my opinion, what about you? Did you enjoy this chapter? Share your thoughts with me, it will make me happy!

my thoughts on 5x11

After last week, I think most of us knew things weren’t going to be particularly focused on Olicity again for a while. So that last night only had three scenes of them together was no surprise. Yet there are still wildly divergent opinions about the episode, particularly on Twitter. Which is fair enough, we all have different perspectives. But it underlines why I won’t check Twitter or Tumblr or anything of the sort until after I’ve watched the episode. I don’t want others’ opinions to taint my own. And I don’t want others’ dissatisfaction to take away from my enjoyment. Last night is just a good example of that. I thought the episode was pretty good, all things considered, and keeping to myself until I formed that opinion helped me preserve it. Anyhow. On with the fun bullet points, shall we? 

  • Enjoy that we got to see Tinah’s (saw that on Twitter, that’s what I’m calling her until the show clears up for me exactly what I should be calling her) origin
  • REALLY enjoy that her cry was born from a cry of rage and grief… I feel like that sums up where her character is at, at least for now.
  • The flashbacks continue to be BOSS. Talia is fascinating and I’m not entirely sure she’s not at least a little sketchy.
  • She was just SO FOCUSED on getting Oliver to put on the hood and go back home. WHY. WHY?!?
  • I’m open to the following scenarios: she’s working with Prometheus, she’s Prometheus’ mother, she had an affair with Robert Queen and Prometheus is Oliver’s half-brother… they’ve hinted that there’s a Big Reveal with her and any of these would fit that bill. 
  • There’s also a reveal with Evelyn coming up and I stg I almost forgot she was on the show. Where you at, Artemis??
  • Really enjoy the play between Curtis and Rene. Need more of that. That’s a strength. 
  • I am actually enjoying Rene now. He has grown on me. 
  • Curtis has his moments but I like him better when he’s more consistent like he was last week. 
  • Rory doesn’t seem to be doing much these days besides hanging out in the bunker. That’s kinda disappointing. 
  • I miss Thea. And Lance. Still. *checks watch impatiently*
  • A couple of scenes of Dig aren’t enough to keep me happy. I need about 200% more Dig the rest of this season to make up for all this lack.
  • Chase has grown on me too, which means he’s either a) evil or b) going to die or c) both. Dammit. 
  • I’ve enjoyed not having to look at Susan for two weeks in a row. Sad that streak ends next week. 
  • I don’t hate Tinah. There I said it. She’s interesting. I want to see her interact with the team some more. She’s badass. She’s got a chip on her shoulder. It feels authentic in a way LL never was. 
  • I see zero romantic or sexual tension between Tinah and Oliver so y’all can miss me with that. 
  • I think they connect on an emotional level in that they can understand each other’s “island”, which is important when bringing on new team members. I’m not threatened by it though. 
  • Her glee at getting to hack the NSA again, at getting her virtual hands dirty in the dark web… I enjoyed it a lot. This is a dark side of herself that she never fully put to rest, that’s still lurking, may ALWAYS still lurk. That it’s emerging as Oliver’s dark side is retreating is just POETIC. 
  • Ghost Fox Goddess is the coolest name ever, Felicity, don’t be ashamed of it. 
  • Google “Ghost Fox Killer” you guys. I don’t think she’s going that route exactly but I do think this might be meant to be a nod to that.
  • “Goddess” sounds a lot better than “Killer” and also has a nifty bit of a tie to the whole Greek myth thing. Speaking of which…
  • Pandora! Prometheus! zomg you guys. I woke up last night with my mind racing through all the possibilities. I cannot wait to see what happens.
  • Felicity is keeping things from Oliver. The shoe is now officially on the other foot. I’m ridiculously excited by this. 
  • Oliver in the s1 suit in the flashbacks is my JAM. It’s coming full circle and I have goosebumps. 

So @finnreyhardliner I’m not sure what your problem against me.  I made a post about shippers Finnrey and reylo mainly that neither side should be nasty/rude to the other and you send me that( the first pic) at the top and blocked me right after never saw you again. The second comment was about finnrey shippers saying lies about me. I asked for proof, you instead decided to just call me a house slave, I just wanted answers but I guess you don’t have them. I wasn’t around during the whole “finnrey attack” I just wasn’t, I’m sorry whatever happen to you and other shippers nobody should be called racist slurs. Nobody should be sent pictures of lynched black men. Period. I Don’t care if you a shipper or anti nobody should be sent or told those things. Same thing applies with death treats and suicide baiting 

 I have asked for said names of the reylo shippers calling you and other finnreys racist slurs, calling John racial slurs, Finn coal boy. But  never saw nor got said proof of names. Now I seen reylo shippers called finn a liar and Kylo not which yes is not good but that’s not one calling Finn racial slurs. I ONLY seen anons few really which I think either a troll or another anti said those things. I asked about the lynching incident I only heard about it from anons but yet no proof of it happening ( which I found odd and I checked finnrey tag but nothing just people saying but not showing) TBH i see more of anti Finn/John comments on facebook, instagram but not on tumblr which it seems like you projected onto here.

It’s clear you only talk to people who see things your way ie ONLY like finnrey. Didn’t you say you’ll leave the fandom if KMT x Finn became canon? TBH I wonder which one you cared more about Finn or Rey. Actually I think you treat fictional characters better than real people, black people. For someone who cares about black people, talk about anti-blackness I think you’re the one being anti black.  

 I won’t talk shit about other bloggers- “ These idiots and their pets stay lying. I wouldn’t even bother. We could literally send them stuff of the kkk saying finnrey sucks and they’d be acting out. You try being nice to them and you only get stabbed in the back. None of these idiots or their pets call out a damn thing when it comes to racism aimed against people who hate the pile of wet shit that they call an otp.”

The KKK hates black people yeah KKK is racist so what are you trying to say? Call me house slave, a pet, anti black and self-hating called other black reylo shippers ashy, a friend of yours calling us coons. Why? Cause we like other ships along with finnrey. I find it cowardly  you say those things and block after, but somehow you want to tell me to “come with it” At least I provide proof and sources unlike you, interesting.

Finnrey is lovely ship but you and the rest of the shippers are awful and toxic you can try to play victim or make some excuse  but it’s true and THE SHIPPERS are the  main reason people avoid the ship. If John Boyega saw the stuff you and other finnrey shippers said I’m  pretty sure he be disappointed. I will still ship finnrey along with the other sw ships canon or not, and make content too, yall just won’t see mines  like how I won’t see yours cause I’m blocked.

My advice instead of being bitter over a fictional ship and character how about focusing more on real world stuff  like trump and actual racist people out on the streets attacking black people and lgbtq+ poc? I live in the south stay on campus surrounded by trump supporters, rednecks, who walk around with Confederate flags on, and “Make America Great” on their things. But sure lets call someone racist based off what they ship and that’s it.  I wish you the best I do, and hopefully one day you come to terms about all this or don’t ( whatever happens in the Last Jedi I guess) 

Best of luck to you-Skip

Just A Girl (Part 2)

Summary: Kara invites Mon-El over for the first time in almost a week since Cadmus stole the registry. (Karamel)

Kara had just landed in her apartment when her she felt her stomach begin to rumble. Normally she would head straight to bed when she was so tired but she didn’t think she could ignore her hunger for another time that day. Moving towards her small kitchen to look for something in the fridge she felt Mon-El tug at her hand, effectively halting her journey.

“Why don’t you go get changed into night wear while I find something for us to eat.”

She doubted in his ability to make anything but if she remembered correctly there had to be something that didn’t need to be prepared. He may have learned quite a bit for only being on Earth for such a short period of time, but she doubted that anyone had taken the time to teach him the ways of human foods and that included herself. With everything going on in the past few weeks she had been too distracted to spend more time with him helping him acclimate to Earthly customs. There was so much that she wanted to show him herself, if only there were enough time in the day. Realizing just how little she had done for him, her chest grew heavier with regret. Here he was trying to be the best superhero and human look-alike possible and she couldn’t even make time for him to show him her world.

She was failing him just as she had failed Kal-El over a decade ago.

With a sad smile on her face she squeezed his hand and gave him a tired smile. It didn’t quite reach her eyes and even she knew that he didn’t believe it but he chose not to push her on it as she slowly backed away from him in search of clothes. Slipping out of her Supergirl attire Kara felt a weight lifted from her shoulders. She had not too long ago told Mon-El that the cape can get heavy and yet he had gladly accepted that fact. Feeling the burden heaviest now she wondered if he was still so willing to be her full time partner. How could she ask him to hold so much responsibility when she could barely stand its crushing weight? How was it fair to him to place this task on him when he wasn’t even really a part of this world yet, not the way she was?

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House of Wind - fic

This is what I imagine happens every morning in the House of Wind, based on an idea that came from this post. Just a little Moriel fluff, I hope you like it! (There is a tiny bit of angst in there, it just came out of nowhere, I swear.)



It is still early in the morning at the House of Wind, and the sun is just breaking over the horizon, light pouring into the open kitchen windows. Azriel is in his usual spot, on a bench where he can easily take in the crisp air. Something about this time of the morning feels cleaner, more pure, as if the daylight and the noise of regular life mute his senses rather than aid them, and this is the only time that he can see clearly through his shadows. He has already heard Morrigan stirring, and is waiting for her to come to him.

He looks up as she quietly pads into the kitchen, stretching and blinking as she tries to wake up. Her nightgown swings around her thighs, the hem brushing just above her knees, and from his seat Azriel appreciates the way the silk moves on her. A cup of coffee is waiting for her on the counter, still steaming. He has made sure that it has an adequate amount of cream and sugar. He doesn’t understand how she can drink it so sweet, and usually does the opposite for his own. After all this time, though, he has the ratio right. She makes a small satisfied noise and grabs the mug before she takes her usual place at his side.

She slides onto the padded bench and tucks herself into him, legs bent over his lap, and he places a hand on her bare knee. “Thank you,” she manages to whisper. Azriel makes a small grunt in response. She smiles to herself. Every morning, for so long that she’s forgotten when it began, Azriel has been waiting here for her. She isn’t sure how he knows when she wakes, how he always manages to be up before her to make her coffee. As long as he isn’t away, she knows what to expect when she walks into this room.

“Azriel.” Mor’s voice is still quiet, scratchy from having recently woken up. She is warm against his side and he resists the urge to pull her in closer. Between her and the sun coming in from the window next to him, he feels like he wouldn’t know how to describe the dark right now if his life depended on it.

“Yes, love?”

She clears her throat. “I had a dream about you.” He raises an eyebrow at her.

“Not like that,” she grins. “No, in the dream we owned a pet store.”

Azriel starts. “A… pet store?”

She nods her head. “Mm-hm. Someone brought in a kitten they had found out in the woods. We were trying to decide if we should keep it or put it up for adoption. It was tiny and fluffy and black. But we already had so many cats. In the dream, that is. You and me. And so we had to give it away.” She rests her head on his shoulder.

“We gave it away,” he confirms. His voice rumbles through her body.

“Yes. But you were very particular about who he went to. It was very sweet of you.” She nestles further into his side, trying to steal some of his warmth. She knows she should wear something heavier, that covers more of her, but she enjoys the look on his face when she walks in every morning. The way he tries to pretend he doesn’t notice, acts like he isn’t cataloguing every bit of bare skin. Anyway, he has never minded that she comes to him every time, pretending that she can do nothing for the cold except press her body into his.

“That sounds like a nice dream, love.”

“Mm-hmm,” she murmurs.

Sometimes, he knows that she has nightmares. He hears her thrashing, calling out for him to find her. He dreads the nights when she needs him in that way. When it happens, he goes to her and holds her until she realizes that he has found her not in the Autumn Court, but in her room, in Velaris. That the wounds only exist in her memory now. After those nights, he must find her and coax her to get out of bed the next morning. If he even leaves her room, that is. He counts the days when her nightmares leave her in peace, and is grateful for them.

Moments pass in silence while they drink their coffee, neither of them thinking about anything except the comfort of being with the person next to them. Azriel watches while the sun rises slowly, the light in the nook slowly changing, becoming less otherworldly and more solid, more like the reality they will have to face soon when they part and cool air takes the place of her at his side. He wishes he could freeze this time, that every morning would start like this. That there would be no more missions or time apart, just the warmth and familiarity of her form pressed against his, her breathing the only other sound in the room.

“Azriel, could we get a kitten one day?” Sometimes Morrigan asks him questions like this, about the future, and it makes his heart skip a beat.

“If you want one, of course.” He turns his head to kiss the top of hers where it is resting on his shoulder. She presses herself closer into his warmth at that, rubbing her cheek on his shoulder in a particularly cat-like manner, reassuring herself. She might go back to sleep in this position, if they aren’t careful. She takes another sip of the coffee he has prepared for her and makes a small noise that he takes for contentment. Azriel can’t help when a corner of his mouth lifts to smile slightly, and he continues drinking from his own cup. He leans his cheek into the top of her head almost imperceptibly, not caring when a stray wisp of hair tickles his chin.

“For right now, I think I’d like some waffles,” she says.

“I’ve already got the ingredients out.” He knows that he needs to get up, leave this spot, but he doesn’t want to be the one to make the move. An interruption makes the decision easier.

Cassian walks in on the two, curled on each other and seemingly inextricable. By now he is used to the way they envelope themselves in their own world when they are at the House of Wind. The intimacy that Mor and Azriel have developed over the centuries might surprise their friends, but for Cassian, it has become normal.

“Morning,” Mor says in a voice that is suddenly energetic and almost chipper. She moves away from Azriel slightly and he tries to keep his disappointment at bay.

“Good morning,” Cassian replies. He nods to Azriel and then keeps his back to them as he gets his own coffee and breakfast, trying to leave them some semblance of privacy. He isn’t sure what this thing is that they do, but it brings them both comfort. Azriel is able to take care of her instead of retreat into himself. And for Morrigan, she gains the knowledge that Azriel does care for her, though it might not take quite the form she wants. Yet.

“Azriel was just going to make me some waffles. I might share them with you,” she says playfully.

“No thanks,” he declines. “I need to be off.”

Cassian raises his coffee cup to them by way of goodbye and walks out of the room. On his way, he notices a look exchanged between Azriel and Morrigan, a quick return to their own universe. What is hidden beneath that glance is a puzzle to him, though he is sure that each of them are able to read it as clearly as if they had spoken.

Returning to quiet understanding again, Azriel stands from the bench and begins to prepare breakfast while she watches. In these moments, she feels full to bursting – she is as at ease now as she has ever been, and she knows that there is little else they could do for one another that would show more devotion, more care.

When he is done, he brings the food to her. Azriel watches her eat, content in the fact that he will do this again tomorrow, that if she has a nightmare instead of a dream he will go to her, and that for these few moments, there is no one else in the world but them.

he senses something, call it desperation || kidge week day 2

A/N: this takes place immediately after this fic. title derived from the ballad of mona lisa by p!atd. enjoy!

Prompt: Secret

Summary: Where in which Keith is sure that he wants to throw Lance into an airlock and hit eject if he opens his stupid mouth one more time. Or maybe just thrown himself in. That works too.

It was common knowledge that Keith had always been on the temperamental side. Always diving headfirst into danger, face in a constant state of scowling, yelling just about every damn day…He was the paladin of the Red Lion for crying out loud, the literal embodiment of impatience, so of course it was expected that he had a short fuse too.

Never did Keith expect that his fuse can get even shorter.

Until now, that is.

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Bleach 686

Guys, this is the last time I’m ever gonna address anything regarding bleach. I hope everyone respects that, especially the people who are gonna go anon and bash me for posting this after everything.


 The last chapters of bleach were pure disappointment not because my two main ships didn’t work out the way I wanted it to but I couldn’t really make any sense of it. I’m sorry as a manga, bleach really lost its pace. I spent 10 years with this manga and I was here to see till the end. I invested a lot of time and energy into this fandom and everything. I really expected better from Kubo.


 I’m really happy for princess. She finally has a loving family and a child. I’m glad that she’s with Ichigo. If IchiHime was meant to be from the start then why so much emphasis on IchiRuki. He could have given  Orihime so much character development. So much more but no he made it seem as if she only existed for Ichigo. I actually believed that Kubo was one of those writers that would actually make IshiHime canon.


  • IshiHime was a ship that could have portrayed the fact that, you don’t always find love in the places you look for but sometimes you find it in the most unexpected places, from a person that loved you from the start even though you never loved them back.  This is coming from my personal experiance entirely I’ve liked this guy for 5 years and IshiHime really gave me hope that one day I will find someone that will love me as much as I love them.

Orihime was a very decent and humble character. I loved her and enjoyed her warm and caring nature but she could have been such a badass as an individual. She was never mean or a bitch to anyone ever and neither was Rukia (please do note that) I dont understand why would he put Ichigo and Rukia together panel after panel with all his shippy gear on. Orihime had more better interactions with Chad and Uryu than she ever had with Ichigo. If Kubo had sold her and Ichigo as black sun and white sun from the start, man I would have shipped the shit out of it.

Third: I hated how Kubo made Chad and Uryuu something that they never wanted to be.

Uryu hated his dad most his life. He never wanted to follow his dads footsteps, which is why the song numb by linkin park reminded me of him so much. He had been misunderstood by most of his friends and even the readers in the first chapters but that cunty, snooty boy came to understand that friendship is one of the most strongest bond to exist. This arc should have  been about him and Ichigo abd their past and origins. Ichigo, who kept getting his bankai broken over and over again. Why couldn’t they just tag team the two of them for the last time?
Uryu didn’t have a mother, his father treated him as a low life runt. Even Isshin tried. He did try to understand Ichigo not with the best method to do so but he still tried where as Uryu’s father didn’t. I think Orihime and Uryu really deserved each other. In an alternate ending I could have imagined him to be a world class designer and Orihime by his side doing whatever makes her happy perhaps a very nice cafe with interesting serving, where the customers only came to eat and would be disappointed by the food but melt and forget the bad taste the food left on their mouth as soon as Orihime would flash her beautiful smile at them (Sigh).

Chad promised he’d never hurt anyone with his fists but help others lol. Really? a boxer? I hated this THE MOST. Chad really deserved better, even though he looked hot as fuck in the panels where he was shown. I think he should have owned a record store or made good mexican music or he could have been the doctor or worked at Kurosaki clinic or something, anything other than being a boxer would have suited him more.

Fourth: Why didn’t Kubo show or complete the states that the other characters were in. I really hoped they would show some Jinta/Yuzu or something regarding Urahara and Yoruichi who helped Ichigo achieve bankai and trained him so he could be strong and protect his friends.
Is Isshin Kurosaki dead? because that would just be sad. I could imagine him to be a great grandparent to Kazui. Kubo really should have at least mentioned this much but he didn’t. I could go on and on about how bad the chapter was but I’m gonna stop now and start pouring my shipper heart out.

Last and the most important topic I wanted to address is my otp, IchiRuki.

I’m sorry to all the IchiRuki shippers that got their hearts and hoped shattered into a million pieces after 686. I feel betrayed and angry as well but let’s not be pricks and be the bigger person. I’m gonna make a request to all IchiHime shippers.
Firstly, congrats guys, princess finally ended up with the man of her dreams as an IchiRuki shipper I never hated on her or said anything mean about her. I’m glad that she’s happy even though it’s not boy I wanted her to end up with but despite everything, I am genuinely happy for her.

Second, I would be really happy if some of you weren’t not so hostile to IchiRuki shippers, please understand that a lot of people found peace in this ship and now they are a mess. Be humble comfort us, Orihime would never been like “yeah bitch I got the dude” instead she would tried and comfort us IchiRuki shippers, she would’ve started crying for an hour, binged on so much ice cream that she would get a tummy ache and fall asleep.

The picture above is the picture of the last IchiRuki coloured page I had made. I was so proud of this and now every time I open my notebook. I feel sad, beyond words. Ichigo and Rukia were the definition of soulmates. I wanted them to be together so bad. I can’t really express it in words about how I feel. I don’t remember a single day where I did not visit the IchiRuki tag. I’m disappointed a lot. So much build up for nothing. Kubo seemed like he threw the idea of IR down the window so suddenly, that I can’t even cope with it. I’d rather have dead characters than an ass pull ending like this. It’s so shitty and rushed. I feel like crying. I invested so much I don’t know what to do with all these beautiful colored pages I had made for this amazing ship. I’m devastated. Laugh at me all you want but I am so depressed with the ending. From the beginning I could see the chemistry and the electricity that Rukia and Ichigo gave off when they interacted. The SS arc, which is my most favorite arc was the biggest pillar that IchiRuki has something more than friendship. A bond of love and trust and what not lol I guess I’m a little delusional. Let’s take  moment to honor this beautiful ship one more time and move on. Thank you every good anon, some great blogs like @peachtiger, @icchiruki, @50shadesofichigo, @daethberry, @ishihime-4-ever and so many more. Thank you, I respect and love each one of you. Stay strong, this bond will always be unbreakable but still life goes on and we all have to move on.

Kubo really fucked up and the worst part is they plan to make a live action movie which I doubt will sell shit. I would never pay a dime to just watch actors waste their time by portraying incomplete roles lol.

Anyways I’m done. Thank you everyone, the Bleach, Ginran, IshiHime and Ichiruki fandom I love each and every one of you. It’s been a roller coaster of emotions and heartache and its time to move on. I’ll still follow all the blogs that I followed for IchiRuki and IshiHime. Have a nice life bleach fandom for as you lost one hardcore dedicated reader.

Thank you and Au Revoir.  💙 💙

Side note: I am extremely addled at the moment as I write this post. So sorry in advance if I managed to piss any of you off.

Oh and dont you dare and try to steal that great art. Thanks in advance. Much love. xoxo 💙 💙