the only reason i stopped was so i could accomplish enough to be relevant

Voltron Analysis (but it mostly ended up being about Lance)

So I just got done kind of re-watching Voltron in preparation for season 3, and I’ve come away with a few notes on the matter - 

One: I’m still annoyed with how Lance and Hunk were treated the whole of season 2, but mostly Lance because Hunk got some important character developement in season 1. And while this may seem like the age-old complaint that people have about season 2, I have a few more significant reasons I’d like to ponder which don’t include bashing on the characters that did get developement (because this seems to be a theme in the Voltron fandom–pitting characters (and none-existent ships) against one another. But, fyi, that’s not how writing works. Moving on). Mostly, I want to point out the fact that what little character development Lance has had, has been irrelevant to the larger plot. Hunk got some big character moments in season 1 with the Balmera, showing a significant arc during which he went from apprehensive to having a true investment in what Voltron was trying to do. Though he does not have the personal ties to the Galra and the conflict that Shiro, Keith, and Pidge do, he has developed his own reasons for being invested. Lance, on the other hand, has not. At the beginning of season 2, he got his own episode, but it was not handled with the grace or gravity of Hunk’s Balmera situation. People look at Hunk and assume he’s the comic relief character because of how he was treated in season 2, but Lance is even more so this character archetype. His whole episode in season 2 was irrelevant and did nothing to showcase him as a developing character, let alone even a likable character for anything outside his comedic timing. Rather, it was as though the whole episode was written as a way of saying “hey, this character(s) (Hunk included) aren’t going to get any attention this season, so here’s an episode about them that’s fun and has mermaids, but doesn’t impact the story or their characters, enjoy!” (which isn’t great writing, fyi).  

Now, this could mean one of two things. Either they’re saving both Hunk and Lance’s characters for future development in later seasons (which we’ve been told is the case, but I don’t consider anything we’re told by the creators as credible. Not because I have anything against these creators, but because past experience with shows has taught me that nothing in trailers or that we’re told is to be taken seriously), or they don’t know how to write these characters in a way that revolves around the main conflict. Now, you may say “Skay, you’re being a bit harsh–these writers are professionals and they certainly know how to write characters into a story, c’mon now.” Well, that’s an optimistic viewpoint, but not always the case. As a writer myself, I will say that of all the characters that are difficult to make relevant to a main story, comedic characters are the most difficult. Keith and Shiro characters are easy to write–they’re dramatic, they have stories flowing out of them naturally. Lance and Hunk characters are not. You have to very consciously create stories around them. Sokka, for example, is a comedic character that was handled quite well (Avatar), while Bolin (Korra) was… not so much, not until they had to completely reinvent his situation to make him relevant again, but then Mako suffered as a character (like they couldn’t balance the characters appropriately). 

My point is, we all look at Voltron and expect it to be as great at storytelling as Avatar, but the fact of the matter is that it’s already not. Now, some of you will say “well the seasons are short and they just don’t have enough time to focus on all the characters, they even said so!” Well, sorry to break it to you, but that’s not an excuse. Well-written movies can give you a plethora of characters and make them relevant, memorable, and able to tell their own important stories in only a few hours. There was no reason that season 2 of Voltron was written as one-sided as it was. And yes, it is a story-telling technique to focus on a few characters per installment, but not usually for a full season. 

It would have been easy, in my opinion and from my own personal experience, to have written season 2 in a way that gave all the characters some development and still have told the story that they did. And so while this does not make the writers of Voltron “bad” writers (far from it), it does make me question the kind of faith I have in what they’re doing, unlike in Avatar where that was never an issue. While Voltron is not displaying the choppiness of a show like Korra, it is not at all close to the storytelling level of Avatar. And I’m not saying this because I don’t want anyone to not enjoy Voltron, but simply because this does make me somewhat apprehensive about Hunk and Lance. 

I’m not as worried about Hunk because his development in season 1 will easily allow him to slip into a position of value in season 3 (or any season whenever they decide to use his character more effectively). Lance, on the other hand, has been almost completely static, aside from a few personal revelations. He stopped being quite as nasty to Keith, but that could have less to do with him being a better person and more due to the fact that he just didn’t have enough lines in season 2 to do it. And then there was, of course, the Slav episode where we learned that Lance isn’t, in fact, the arrogant ass he’s painted himself as, but actually someone who’s insecure and doubts his value. We’ve also had small snippets of Lance claiming that he’s going to cover/protect another character and generally failing, as well as the self-sacrificing moment with Coran and how worried he was about Keith during the Marmora trials. This gives us a few hints about his character, mostly that he feels inadequate and likely has a self-sacrificing streak should the oppurtunity arise/he not fail in the protecting he wants to accomplish. 

These few moments that we get give me not “hope,” but the expectation that they have much more planned for his character. That, and the fact that unlike the other paladins, he was not given a summary of why he was valuable in episode one (when Allura explained why each paladin would pilot each lion). I would expect that this means his character is going to get a different kind of arc than we’ve seen. Keith and Shiro’s arcs have been connected to Galra via circumstance, and thus the conflict, in many ways. Hunk and Pidge have had deeply personal arcs that tied them to the conflict. And Allura has had both. And so when I look at Lance and what little has been done with him, yet how subtly his character has been outlined, I would expect that his arc will deal with him getting drawn into the conflict in a way that will make his relevance personal in a somewhat… backwards way than what we’ve seen. For example, all the paladins have had a personal reason that allowed their arcs to open up into the general conflict. Even Hunk–he visited the Balmera, saw what was happening, developed a personal connection, and used that as a reason to get involved in the conflict. Though the conflict was what inspired this personal involvement, it wasn’t the turning point. Whereas with Lance, I think it’s going to have to be the conflict coming in and forcing him to have a personal connection. Whether that conflict is the war itself or the other characters (I’m betting on the other characters, tbh, but this isn’t about my personal headcanons, so I won’t discuss those here).  

BUT… while this is the best case scenario, I don’t exactly have complete faith in the writing team. While there are a plethora of ways to elevate the importance of Lance’s (and Hunk’s) character to the story, it comes down to a question of whether the people behind Voltron are willing to do it. We don’t know how long Voltron will be nor how pressured the writers are to get the story out. If their timetable is limited, the storylines that have already been deemed “The Important Shit” may override Hunk and Lance becoming true equals on the storytelling board with characters like Keith, Shiro, and Allura (Pidge is kinda in the middle). It is possible to write them to have just as big of arcs as Keith, Shiro, Allura, and Pidge (whose story is still in the potential stages). It’s just a question of whether they’ll do it or not, or if, instead, they’ll hand us very obvious development so they can “spell out literally” these characters in favor of focusing on characters like Keith and Allura. A kind of “telling” instead of “showing” deal, if you understand that metaphor. Which is why it is important that they should have developed Lance and Hunk on more equal terms in season 2, because ya never know how much time ya have (but I’ll stop complaining about that).  

I mean, obviously we’ll have to wait and see (there’s nothing else to do), but… yeah, anyway, those were some thoughts I had watching season 2 on Lance. 

Secondly: I have thoughts on Shiro and the black lion. Obviously we’ll see Shiro in season 3, but I find it very hard to believe that Keith will remain the pilot of the black lion for the entirety of the rest of the series (or at least while Zarkon is involved). Mostly due to the level of development Shiro has had with the black lion as well as the fact that he’s been framed as a foil to Zarkon. Of all the paladins, Shiro’s connection with the black lion has been framed the most fully and fleshed out. Some of the sheer imagery they use when he’s doing intense stuff shows a certain degree of permanence in his position, otherwise all the bonding he did and all that character development would have been pointless. And I don’t mean pointless in a way that implies Shiro shouldn’t have had that kind of development if he was eventually going to be replaced, but rather that the way that developement was shaped was in a way that would imply that he is the black paladin and that his position as such is vital to the story. Shiro has often mirrored Zarkon, and so if Zarkon is out of commission at the moment, it makes sense that Shiro would be as well (which also means that I’m assuming Keith will be a foil to Lotor). But I’m betting Shiro will return to being the black paladin. Especially since Keith’s connection with Red has also been blatantly highlighted. Of the paladins, these two have solidified their positions most securely in a symbolic and narrative sense. 

Which does bring me back to Lance. There seems to be this headcanon in the fandom that Blue and Lance are super close, best buds forever, despite the fact that we’ve seen very little evidence of this. Lance claims this to be the truth, but Lance claims a lot of things to be true that could actually stem from insecurity or pettiness. And it’s already been made apparent that he fears someone else trying to steal his lion (Keith). I would bet that Lance’s bond with Blue is not nearly as strong as Keith’s with Red or Shiro’s with Black. Or even Pidge’s with Green. Though we don’t see Pidge interacting with Green the same way Keith does Red or Shiro Black, it is implied contextually that she spends a lot of time with Green. Of all the paladins, I’m betting that Lance and Hunk have the weakest bonds with their lions. Which means that Allura coming in and flying Blue might spell out an interesting development when, in my opinion, the pilots inevitably switch back. 

I want Allura to be a paladin as much as everyone–the team needs more female representation. And while Lance is a good blue paladin, his attitude (at the moment) is more suited to Red (or an arm in general. After all, he’s always trying to show off in Blue and screwing things up, as if he doesn’t quite fit his position). But he’s not as suited to Red as Keith. I’m betting Lance will do very well in the red lion, and that Allura will, eventually, do well in Blue as she and Hunk share some similar traits in how they carry themselves, making them better “supports” for the team as a whole (unless Lance’s “understanding” nature (this is mostly a fandom headcanon, tbh), as has been hinted at, is more fully developed and showcased more often than with one conversation with Keith about Shiro disappearing). 

So this is where the story could kind of go quite a few directions–Shiro doesn’t take back up the black lion (though that would seem odd given his development) and things remain with Keith as leader and Lance as his right-hand man/Shiro does return and because of her development elsewhere, Allura gives up her blue paladin position (I don’t see this happening? I hope not? Unless her magic powers story arc makes her a boss is a way that makes paladin stuff irrelevant to her narrative)/Shiro comes back to pilot black, Allura proves to have bonded more with Blue, and Lance gets ousted (either consciously or by accident or disappearing or dying)/they… share lions? 

Lance being ousted, while it doesn’t tie in to the original 80s Voltron, would give his character some significance/oppurtunity in development. It would play on all his insecurities and “prove” (to him) that he really is as irrelevant to the team as he personally fears and, honestly, as the actual show itself has shown him to be to the audience. I don’t know what would happen after this–that’s too far ahead to ponder–but, if I was writing it, this is where I would put his character to get the most out of it. My opinion, obviously, isn’t the only one out there and I’m clearly missing pieces that would contradict all of this, but given how short the seasons are and how unbalanced season 2 was, this would make it easier to tell his story in the format they’re kind of going for. 

But who knows. I could be wrong about everything (I usually am). 

Originally posted by berserkdragon

sleeping dogs and where they lie; minghao // pt. 1

cyberpunk! au, with heavy influence from shadowrun, and inspired by the boom boom mv. hopefully this makes sense even if you don’t know of the aforementioned series. this will be split into three parts because what is self control when writing?

thank you to the lovely spcywolf and versigny, who have both helped me in the process of writing this!

‘I don’t get it.’

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littlenotmyown  asked:

Do you think there's anything else Anders could have done in Act 3? I always support him but I also find the other people killed in the explosion hard to stomach (and the "innocents always die in war" thing is too callous). Why not confront Elthina directly? Anders was ready and willing to face whatever justice someone else wanted to exact after the Chantry exploded, so if he had instead gone and essentially assassinated Elthina and was killed immediately after, what would have been different?

This is actually a really big question, and one that is of interest to me (so I hope you don’t mind me posting it publicly; let me know if you do, and I’ll delete it, no questions asked).

Because while I never hated Anders, at first, I had many similar concerns as you and others who think this way. It was sort of a case of ‘okay, I see what you’re doing, and it worked, but still, seriously buddy, you can’t just do that’. But honestly, the reason I’ve changed my mind is because I legitimately cannot see another way, at least not one that works within the limits of the game.

(Behind a cut because holy hell this is long)

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bunhead || 2

Summary: Calum has never been in love- ever; it’s not on his top priority of things to do either. But, when the band is on break for the holidays, and Calum wants to spend time with his mum, who is the owner of the top ballet/dance company in the country; Calum meets a girl whose eyes held more galaxies than the universe, and a smile that made his heart beat faster than ever before. This might just make him change his priorities up a bit, but sometimes there are tough decisions to make in the industry.

Word Count: 2,599

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You Are Bucky

Originally posted by shhhh-no-ones-home

Fandom: Avengers/Marvel

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warning: Angst, Panic attack

Writer: @maryjhollands  (THANK YOU FOR WRITING AND SUBMITTING! <3 XX)

Summary/Request: Submitted by @maryjhollands: Based on this imagine (X)

Notes: Thank you for writing and submitting a copy to the blog! <3

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kotokaoogi  asked:

Umm, as far as I know Maki confesses in the Ch5 Post trial, but here's a thought i had: What if it was because of the heat of the moment that she said that? Her heart was confused with the feelings it felt, mistaking platonic feelings with romantical. It could be possible, couldn't it? Also, when you are lonely like Maki obviously is, you are scared of others leaving you. So it's a normal reaction of your heart to develop feelings for someone you not really love. What do you think about that?

It’s a possibility, but I’m still inclined to say that Maki knew very well what her own emotions were and that her feelings for Momota were definitely romantic.

There are a few reasons for why I think this, but most of it relates to Maki’s character arc overall. As someone who has not only never been allowed to choose her own course in life in her in-game backstory but also never been allowed to feel things or act on those feelings, Maki falling in love with Momota is a rather essential step of growth and development for her. As she says in the Chapter 5 post-trial herself, it’s the very first time she’s ever felt this way about anyone before.

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Lifetime of Tension

I’d like to read some Barba related angst! Make me cry please!

Note: A huge thanks to @skittle479 for her help.

Barba had been mentally kicking himself ever since he gave Felipe Heredio his home address. Each night after he made it home he would double, no, triple checked his locks to make sure he didn’t forget to lock himself in.

The uncertainty is what kept him anxious. In the courtroom, he was used to being prepared. A lawyer never asks a question he doesn’t already know the answer to. On the rare occasion a witness did surprise him, he chewed out the detectives of SVU for the ambush.

When he was a child, he was always on edge; he never knew when his father would come home in one of his moods and take his frustrations out on Rafael. Or would it be his mother? Rafael didn’t know which one it would be every night. That restlessness made his body unwillingly tense up as he made his way home every evening, in anticipation of what his father would do that night.

The tension between his shoulder blades felt like it had been there his whole life, almost like he had been born with it. A lifetime of having to defend himself at a moment’s notice had taken its toll on Rafael, engraining itself in both his mind and his body, settling deep in Rafael so that it became his permanent, normal state of being.

No, Rafael Barba did not like surprises, and always did his best to keep that unpleasantness out of his life.

Just like Rafael was used to the dread of uncertainty, he was also used to dealing with it alone. He never voiced it to his mother, but they both knew he resented her for not being strong enough to get his father out of their lives. As a child, Rafael was left on his own to bear the brunt of his father’s anger. Could his mother have done anything? Would it have caused them both even more harm if she tried? Either way, it’s not like anything can be changed now.

So, it was only natural that when he started receiving death threats, he kept them to himself, just as he was used to keeping his problems to himself for close to forty years, never having formed close enough relations to be able to share his worries with another person. He kept the letters and phone calls a secret, as the strain in his back got worse, and the throbbing in his temples seemed to intensify with each passing day. Popping Ibuprofen became a daily norm for Rafael, something he took every morning with his first cup of coffee.

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anonymous asked:

please talk about how the dalish was treated in this game. holy hell, being lavellan is by far the most frustrating thing EVER because aside from the fact that you get no support from anyone (not even the two elven companions you have in fact one breaks up with you and one FORCES you to make a choice between your culture and your relationship) the narrative is so victim blamey its disgusting

Thanks for the question! This is something else that really bugs me (and so, so many other fans) so I’m glad to have the chance to talk about it.

I’ll preface with the fact that lots of fans are equally frustrated with the Cadash and Adaar lines (fair enough), but that I am going to focus exclusively on the Lavellan line for a couple reasons, the biggest being that that’s what Anon asked for. The second being that I’ve played Adaar but not Cadash (cut me some slack, though, because I’m getting to Cadash; I mean I’ve done 5 2/2 playthroughs solely for the sake of research and you can see how miserable the game makes me). So I’m not able to fully comment on Cadash yet anyway.

Ok, moving on to Lavellan. There is so much to cover here. I’m going to hit the main stuff of course (and in all three games actually), but I’m also going to hit Sera and Solas and mention a few other characters in regards to this issue. (Note non-graphic mentions of rape and abuse to follow and, of course, lots of talk about death and mass genocide.) There will also be brief critical discussions of various characters. Also note that this is going to be, as usual, long (not for me, no, but for people who don’t spend their pitiful lunch breaks writing in detail about elves).

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Recently we Have Received A LOT of “Bernie Sanders is too idealistic/his ideas are unrealistic” Type Criticism. Here is Our Response.

As we have worked on our blog the amount of support has increased exponentially. Knowing so many people support Bernie Sanders is honestly a really amazing thing to see and we are glad to be here to experience it. That said, by virtue of doing the work we do there has been a certain amount of criticism thrown our way. Sometimes we decide it isn’t worth our time, the rumors messaged to us are unfounded, or something else compels us not to respond. Other times we are feel obligated to respond and this is one of those times.

For the last few days multiple people have tagged our page in the post above. Now let me start this whole thing by saying, I completely agree with the post. Bernie Sanders has been campaigning on free health care, free college education, and increased minimum wage, workers’ rights, tax reform, and taking on the billionaire class. As it stands now, most of that, specifically the first couple items, are probably unsustainable. Certain factions on both sides realize this, while other factions FROM BOTH MAJOR PARTIES, benefit from the status quo. Make no mistake, Bernie Sanders is not some fringe candidate promising people free stuff to get elected. He is a man with an ideology and seeking solutions for our country within that ideological frame work. He may be running as a Democrat, but his convictions are only loosely tied to a fringe of that party. Just as Ron Paul’s convictions were only loosely tied to the Republican party. Just like conservatives want to fix America by removing government, Bernie Sanders wants to fix it by reshaping it.

We have reached an impasse in American politics. Once again two groups with different ideologies are battling each other for what they feel is the best for America. The fact that we have $16 Trillion dollars in debt cannot be overstated. The fact that every administration since Ronald Reagan has carried out an incredible amount of deficit spending and that is a problem. The fact that health care and college are unaffordable is a problem. The fact that millionaires, billionaires, and multinational corporations are allowed to make record profits and let their workers suffer, that is a problem. Some people view the solution to these problems as cutting government out of the picture.

Making the reach of government smaller is a political solution as old as Thomas Jefferson who famously said, “the government that governs best is the one which governs the least”.  That sentiment remained a powerful force when Andrew Jackson heralded small government and beat the Hamiltonian, use the government for business, James Madison. Conservative ideals prevailed throughout the 19th century it helped foster economic growth and benefited the United States in a lot of ways. This conservatism popped up again in the 1920s and allowed Calvin Coolidge and Herbert Hoover to propel America to a period of unprecedented economic growth. Then finally the latest strain of conservatism from Reagan to Bush, which I feel history will cast in a far more unfavorable light once there is some hind sight and more history. Not that Reagan and Bush didn’t accomplish SOME good things (emphasis on the SOME, really heavy emphasis). It’s just every time in American history this conservatism has led to a political push back, and for good reason.

Despite what many would have you think politics is incredibly complex and one single ideology will not always solve every problem. The aforementioned administrations definitely pushed America forward economically and otherwise, but they had counterparts which always fixed some problems they exacerbated. Teddy Roosevelt and the progressives counteracted the lack of workers’ rights and regulation which had plagued the United States since the Jacksonian era. Franklin Roosevelt tried to solve the problems the unchecked economic system created during the Hoover years. As a result he won land slide election after land slide election, whether you agree with the New Deal or not, it has impacted America immeasurably and has continued relevance to this day. Now it is time for a new push back. It is time to push back against the military and corporate interests which have run our economy dry over the last 3 decades. Make no mistake, every president since Ronald Reagan, and even before that, has contributed to the problems we face today. There are multiple solutions to those problems, but as it stands now Bernie Sanders seems like the only one removed enough from the dirty cogs of the political machine to actually make a change before things get any worse.

We appreciate the skepticism involved when a politician just offers voters services that they cannot possibly follow through on. The thing is, some of what Bernie Sanders offers may seem idealistic, but most of it makes sense. We are the wealthiest country in the wealthiest time in the history of humanity. Technological advances have compounded that wealth and it is ridiculous that we have let so much of that wealth fall in to the hands of so few. So many people in our country continue to go without and the Billionaire Class continues to laugh to the bank. If you feel conservative ideals are the best way to combat this growing trend of inequality and our unsustainable economic structure, we don’t blame you. Conservative ideology could certainly bring about that change with the right people.

Unfortunately I seriously doubt, Donald Trump, Scott Walker, Marco Rubio, Rand Paul, or Jeb Bush, or any other Republican, are going to provide that change. We need a government that helps the American people and works towards their best interests. In my mind, Bernie Sanders is the only candidate who will fix our unsustainable political and economic system. As the only candidate pushing for universal education, universal health care, and combating the interests of the Billionaire class by reforming tax laws and repealing the Citizens United decision, Bernie Sanders is the only president who will help get our countries priorities back in line with the needs and desires of the average American. Just because we are unable to provide these things right now, doesn’t mean things shouldn’t be changed in such a way that we can provide them.

Before you call his ideas unrealistic, take a long hard look at our current system and then try and objectively say it is right for major corporations to pay sometimes effectively no taxes while workers work 40+ hours a week for starvation wages. That has got to stop, and Bernie Sanders is the only one who will stop it. Bernie Sanders 2016!

I got this question from someone who requested that if I publish it they remain anonymous, and it’s a really good question! so I wanted to answer it publicly because I think this is probably something a lot of people struggle with:

i have a question - as someone who’s seriously mentally ill, igss i can’t always figure out when i’m actually unable to do something and when i’m self-sabotaging and need better work planning? bc when i think it’s the second and it’s the first i burn out, when i think it’s vice versa i don’t get anything done.

This is a tough one because so often as people with mental illnesses and/or other disabilities we’re told that we’re “just not trying hard enough” or “just self-sabotaging” when things are really actually impossible for us to do! That can really muddy the waters and make it hard to gauge when we legitimately can’t do a thing, and when the barriers in our way are ultimately surmountable with the right resources, support, etc. 

For me, it comes down to a lot of factors. The first is how realistic the thing I’m trying to achieve is. I’ve made plans for achieving things while hypomanic - or even manic - that in retrospect were never achievable, only to realize this when the depression hit later. It’s important for me to evaluate not only my state of mind as I try to carry out the plan, but the state of mind I was in when I MADE the plan in the first place. Do I have access to the resources I need to achieve the thing I want to achieve? If I don’t, could I potentially realistically access them somehow? How much time and energy is this going to take, and do I have that time and energy to spare? Have I done anything like this before, or done anything that gives me relevant experience? Am I setting myself up for failure? Sometimes we self-sabotage by giving ourselves goals we know we can never achieve, because success means a lot of scary things, and then you’re faced with both the act of self-sabotage, AND the fact that what you’re trying to do realistically just isn’t possible.

Other times we self-sabotage by TELLING ourselves we can’t do a thing, when it’s ultimately something that is completely within our power to do. This is a trap I’ve fallen into many times in depressive episodes, and with anxiety. This is why it’s important to keep an eye on tangible things, specific goalposts like word count, deadlines, etc while you’re working on a project - keeping track of these things helps you maintain a grip on what you’re doing and what you’re capable of doing when your brain is trying to get you to give up on everything. It’s not easy to keep working when your brain is actively working against you! But the thing about self-sabotage is that it’s a self-feeding loop; the more you do it, the harder it is to stop doing it. This is why I’m a big fan of manageable, relatively small daily targets - when it comes to actual self-sabotage, I take the Unfuck Your Habitate approach that doing ANYTHING, even the smallest, most inconsequential-seeming thing, is a huge step towards accomplishing what I actually need to accomplish. Committing to five minutes of writing makes committing to an hour or two hours of writing seem much more manageable. I break things down so it’s not “I need to write an entire book in less than a month”; it’s “I need to write X number of words a day, I typically write Y words in an hour; that means I need to write for Z hours a day, which I will schedule, incorporate breaks into,  and treat myself well during.”

Sometimes, however, I’m just legitimately not capable of doing a thing. That’s totally okay! Sometimes I’m having a panic attack. Sometimes I’m physically too ill to work or go to the gym or whatever. There’s no hard and fast Simple Rule For Telling When Your Brain Is Telling You To Quit When You Don’t Need To Because Your Brain Is Messed Up, Versus When Your Brain Is Telling You To Quit Because You Really, Physically, Emotionally and Spiritually Need To Quit Because Your Task Is Impossible For You To Do At This Time, but it’s generally about maintaining a level of awareness of the following things: where am I at in terms of the concrete goals I’ve laid out for myself? Where am I headed, right now and in the immediate future? What are the specific next steps I need to take? Generally when I’m self-sabotaging I have a plan, I have the resources, I have goals, I know what needs to be done next, but my reasons for not doing it are really general and related more to my sense of self-worth than to the actual situation at hand: “I don’t deserve this”, “I’m a terrible person”, “I can’t do anything at all so I definitely can’t do this”, “I’m going to fail anyway so why even try”, “the prospect of succeeding is too scary for me to deal with” - classic negative self-talk. When I can’t do a thing because it’s literally impossible for me to do, my reasons for not being able to continue are a lot more concrete and relevant to the task at hand: “I don’t have the funding”, “I’m in too much pain”, “I’m in a serious crisis and need to focus my energy elsewhere”, “I need to do this other thing instead today but I will return to this task later” - etc. 

I want to add that taking care of my mental health - taking my meds, practicing various forms of self-care, etc etc - is absolutely instrumental to me getting literally anything done. When I’m having a depressive episode or a panic attack or psychotic episode, I am usually too sick to work (I say usually because depressive episodes can vary in length and severity but you know). My mental illnesses are illnesses that need to be treated and managed in order for me to accomplish the things I want and need to accomplish. Learning how to do that has been literally a lifelong process and it’s only in recent years that I’ve become like… anything remotely resembling decent at it, to the point where I can like, nurture a growing career etc. If it’s anything at all, telling the difference between when you are incapable of doing something and when you can probably do it but you’re sabotaging yourself is a learning process. 

I hope this is helpful. I realize this is like, really loaded for a lot of people for a lot of reasons, some of which I covered (I hope), so I welcome other peoples’ feedback too. How do you balance your creative/Getting Shit Done process with your mental illnesses? Where do you find the line between “I THINK I can’t do this” and “I KNOW I can’t do this” and how do you navigate those things?

anonymous asked:

Well this is entirely pointless since you’ve accepted the possibility they won’t coming back but it’s tough for me to do so and perhaps naïve that I believe they will. Yes they don't "owe us anything" but I never said they did. It's the decent, not necessary, thing to do to say this is the end, but I didn't say they had to. Also, I'm pretty sure reading into solo Harry as the end of 1D isn't farfetched. Harry never once promised that HE would come back whereas the others did say it's not the 1

end of 1D. So maybe they can continue on as a trio but imo solo Harry is the end of 1D as we know it, or possibly the end altogether even if Nilo intended on making it work. They can do whatever solo stuff they want to and it’s their right to do so… yes Harry can explore any avenue he wants, no, no one expects him to be sat at home twiddling his thumbs, but I don’t believe he would come back so I personally wish that he would give 1D a few more years IF he has solo plans. I am NOT saying that he owes that to us. It would be nice/ decent to do a proper farewell but that’s up to him IF he does intend to leave. I UNDERSTAND that he does not have to do anything- this is just want I personally would love to see because I’m sad at the thought of 1D ending without a goodbye. I know life is uncertain of course and plans change, but I still would prefer to have some closure- but I am still not demanding it btw. I know they could still come back after Harry has a solo career for a few years, but I personally don’t see them keeping up with the demands of the 1D hysteria into their early 30s and beyond. Also why the need to belittle 1D “shouldn’t be restricted to One Direction only” – well what if this is it for some of them in music? They’ve done amazing things together. I personally wish they would continue on together (but yet again I understand they’re not obliged to). I love the music they make. I’ve loved going to their shows. I’ve been to 200+ concerts and theirs have been some of my faves ever. They’ve brought a lot of happiness to a lot of people. Why shouldn’t they be proud if this the most or all they ever accomplish in this industry? I’m sorry Becky, I really like your blog and I’ve followed you for years, but I guess I just disagree with that post. I understand why other people are worried because I am too. 

First, I think I need to address the fact that my previous answer was more of a statement to the fandom as a whole, not specifically to you, your feelings, or those who agree with you/your feelings. My whole “they don’t owe us anything so stfu” mentality was more focused towards the entitlement a large group of fans in this fandom have. There has been a lot of talk lately of people feeling entitled to an update on where the boys stand and a timeframe on when they are returning, and it just makes me angry that the fandom (as a whole, not one person specifically) feels that they are due a statement ON DEMAND AND ALL THE TIME because we’ve bought some albums, and gone to some shows, and bought some merch and promoted some songs. Like I said, they just don’t owe it to us yet (or ever). I would hope that if December was the last of 1D, we would eventually be told by the guys; that at least one of them would mention it in an interview or tweet it out or something. But, keep in mind, in the grand scheme of things, it’s ‘only’ been a few months. I know we are used to, at most, a month or two of down time, so we are getting really antsy, but they should be able to take more of a break regardless of what they are doing. The only time frame we were told (which again I still think they were backed into a corner and just shot out a possible number) was 18 months. So why, 6 months into it are we demanding to have an explanation/statement? Why 6 months into it where nothing has officially been release by any of the members individually, are we so sure that it’s over?

With that said. Since you’ve followed my blog for years, you probably have already guessed that my world has pretty much (embarrassingly so) revolved around 1D for a good majority of the last 4 years. This band has been my lifeline, they are the reason I have the friends I now call my family, they are the reason I have been able to traveled the country and experience SO many things and they are the reason I have countless people, in my real life, asking if I ever actually work (which I do, sometimes up to 60 hours a week), how I can pay for my house, car and bills, and if my cat even knows who I am. These boys have been the last thing I look at before I go to bed and the first thing I catch up on when I wake up, sometimes multiple times in the night, for FOUR years now. So please trust me when I say I completely get where you are coming from and your feelings are definitely valid. It seriously bums me out that it’s possible (as ridiculous as this sounds) my 41st 1D show was my last one, that MITAM is the last album we could get, that we won’t get any more group interviews or group hugs, etc etc.  I spent a good portion of the last 6 months in complete denial at the possibility that they could be done as a band, and I spent most of the time refusing to reblog anything concerning solo Harry because that’s just one step closer to the possibility of no more band. It was extremely difficult to allow these thoughts in because this band that I’ve held on to as my lifeline for so long, could be done.

I spent a couple nights in long conversations discussing why I don’t want to think about Harry being in a film or releasing solo music, because you are right, if he goes on with the solo music it is even more of a possibility that 1D won’t be back and what am I supposed to do then? How am I going to move on from something that’s been my lifeline for so long? But then I sat and thought about it… I cried a little and thought some more and I finally came to the conclusion that- jfc I’m a selfish asshole. Those feelings are basically the same entitlement bullshit that these fans who annoy me are whining about on a daily basis. If you sit back and think about all that this band has done for the last 6 years, it’s INSANE. They’ve done more than any band out there. What other band has ever released 5 albums in 5 years, done 4 tours in 4 consecutive years, had a bandmate basically screw them over and not even skip a beat in doing all of those things? I’m positive that they are grateful for all that they experienced and all that resulted in what they experienced over the last 6 years, I’m positive that they are proud of what they have accomplished as a band and as brothers and I believe that, for the most part, they wouldn’t change very much of it.

I will proudly stand as one of those fans (until I am told otherwise by one of the boys) that they left in December with full intentions on coming back as a group. Even though Harry never directly said he would come back to the band, I 100% believe (no matter how naive that makes me) that Harry has/had intentions to come back to the band. That when they left they were leaving as a “see you later” not a “good-bye.” But, the thing we have to remember is, things change, and unplanned things happen, and opportunities come without warning and we can’t fault anyone on any of it. It sucks that it’s possible that some of them won’t do much with music after they completely hang their 1D hat, but that’s not at fault to you, me, or any of the other guys. If the boys want to work in music I’m more than positive they have more than enough connections that they can. Nothing is stopping them but themselves, and it’s not up to us to decide what, when, why, how and/or if they do it.

So, in closing, tl;dr and all that (I don’t know when I became this person who wrote 1K responses to asks so sorry about that), we don’t know what is happening other than Harry is working on a film, Louis is rocking being a dad, Niall is becoming the next golf phenomenon, and Liam forgot they released an album 6 months ago and are still SUPER relevant in the music world even though they are on a break. Please, for your own sanity and happiness, stop letting the overzealous solo!Harry fans get in your head that he’s to the “fuck the band, they don’t matter anyway, Rockstar harry all the way” mindset. Please have faith that all the boys know whats up and they just need and want time to figure themselves out. Please stop letting the tabloids tell you the band is over and everyone hates everyone (to the point of Harry punching Louis or was it the other way around idk), just wait it out until they figure it out (if in 3 years they still haven’t said anything, you can come track me down and say ‘bitch I told you so’). Please remember, it’s only been 6 months and no one knows what is going to happen, not even the boys. And please keep in mind that, though I don’t voice my opinion much, this band has caused me to shed more tears than I am comfortable admitting and the idea of them not being a band any more is a liiiiittle bit crippling to think about. But, also remember that even though they are/were a significant factor in our lives and we will miss the shit out of them if they don’t come back as a group, we don’t know what they could/will produce outside of the band, so we need to keep our minds open to other possibilities. Also know that my ass would/will preorder an album 6 months in advance if/when they announce a new group album and my ass would/will be on Ticketmaster 3 days early, at the ready, if/when they announce a new tour. 

But, I’ve also allowed myself to accept that I would do the same thing for any solo ventures they release as well.

Korra's Upbringing in Relation to How She Deals With Her Emotional Issues/PTSD (Update)

I’ve been reblogging other people’s posts (and adding my own comments) regarding Korra a lot lately so I decided I was overdue to submit my own post about book four. Just a few thoughts I’ve harbored for the past couple of weeks while watching The Legend of Korra Book Four.  As usual from me, it ended up being way longer than I intended lol. Be mindful of spoilers as well!

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