the only place in the world that i am not shy is on stage


Requested by: 

Annon 1:
Can you do a Bill S. imagine where he’s at an interview and he gets all blushy and cute when they start showing pictures of you two together and you guys always slay red carpet events 💗           

Annon 2:
Can you do one where Bill is telling the story of him scarring his wife (reader) and she hits him out of instinct and immediately she feels bad about it? Thanks💛

Pairing: Bill Skarsgard x Reader      

A/N: Woooow! thanks for all the likes and good vibes with my previous writing, that means a lot to me <3 here’s another one because my crush on Bill is getting bigger and bigger :3 sorry for my bad english and I hope you like it <3

Title: Social experiment

They were just a few days before the world premiere of ‘It’ film, which was expected to be a success due to good reviews from websites such as Rotten Tomatoes among others, Bill had been invited to an interview to Ellen DeGeneres Show and he was more than excited to talk about the movie, so there he was, behind the scenes waiting to be introduced by Ellen to enter to the small stage, suddenly heard his name and entered as he was told.

He ran into a huge crowd which applauded and screamed to see him, his wife was in the front row and stood up like everyone else to receive him

Ellen greeted him and made some strange grimace at noting his large height, especially because she wasn’t very tall, she told him to sit on a small beige couch, Ellen sat in front of him on another identical couch.

“wooow… what a good genetics” the audience laughed

“thank you” replied Bill, smiling at her

“Well, Bill, your siblings Alexander and Gustaf have already been here, both agreed to kiss me, I hope you do too, it’s for a social experiment” the audience laughed and Bill too

“Oh Ellen!, I wish I could support you in your social experiment, but you know, my wife is among the public and I doubt she’s very happy with it” The audience laughed even harder and the camera focused on Y/N, his wife, who also laughed

“Look at her, I’m sure she will agree to support me in my experiment” The camera refocuses on Y/N and could read on her lips saying, “go ahead” and Bill laughed ashamed buried his face in his hands, they were always this playful and they loved to make a fool of each other from time to time “Well, I have her approval Bill, but we can leave it for later. Now I want to focus on your new movie, It, where you play Pennywise”

“That’s right”

“Then, tell us, how someone as handsome as you, can play this devilish and horrible clown”

“You just said it, you know, it’s in my genetics to play psycho and attractive characters”

“Were you an It fan before you got the role?”

“Well, I remember watching the 90’s movie, and I also remember sleeping with the light on for the rest of the year, so I could say yes, I was a fan”

“We already know that your wife is here with us, you have a short time being married, am I wrong?”

“We’ll celebrate our first anniversary next month” he smiled victorious “we’re excited about it”

“Oh wow! Congratulations Bill, look, here we have some pictures of you two” on the big screen behind them began to appear images of they both in different places, walking her French Bulldog, going to Starbucks and especially on red carpets and movie premieres “You both look very in love, eeh” Bill began to feel his cheeks burn and he gave a shy giggle

“We are, Ellen, Y/N is one of my favorite people in the world, she knows how to show up the best of me in the worst moments” The public said an ‘awwwwweee’, seeing to Bill so in love” I mean, every time I see her, I feel like the first moment I met her”

“How did you meet her?”

“I was visiting my brother Gustaf on Vikings set, she’s part of the cast and was wearing those weird clothes…. I could only think “that woman’s so hairy” then I realized that it was the makeup” The public laughed out loud and Ellen too

“What did she say to you when you told her that you were chosen for the role of Pennywise the dancing clown?”

“She was like ‘Fuck yes, dance to me clown daddy’” Y/N laughed along with the public and her face turns red like a tomato because those were the exact words that she had used when her husband told her that he would play Pennywise

“It’s not going to be necessary to ask her if she’s fan of the book” said Ellen, who was laughing too

“Not at all”

“I heard that both are very pranksters, and that you love to make each other all kind of heavy jokes” on the screen appear small videos taken from Y/N Instagram, where she scared Bill on countless occasions and he fell in each one of her jokes, from the smallest to the worst “We found this video on Finn Wolfhard Instagram“ a short video where Y/N appeared entering Bill’s trailer on ‘It’ set, was on the screen “We don’t have much information, we only know that Finn was dying with laughter and decided to publish it with the caption  ‘LMAO, HE DESERVES THIS, SHE’S MY IDOL’  Do you want to tell us a little more about this?” she asked

Before he could say a word, Bill started to laugh and took a drink of water “Actually, there’s a very good story behind that video, it almost cost me my fiancée, but it was worth it, until a certain point of course.  You’ll see, Y/N had made me a very heavy, like really heavy joke, so I had planned my revenge and Finn had agreed to help me, we were in the city filming some scenes, my car was in the workshop and Y/N had me taken to the set in the morning and would pick me up at night, about eight o’clock, so… She arrived and she already knew that she could park the car in my place. She called me by the phone and said she was waiting for me, but I told her to get off the car and wait for me on my trailer because I was talking with Andy and it was going to take a few more minutes. Actually, I was in my trailer, full dressed as Pennywise, even my makeup artist was behind all this because she accepted to wait to remove my makeup once I had fulfilled my plan. Then, Finn was hiding in front of my trailer and filming everything from the outside, I had left my phone inside recording everything and then he would help me to edit it. I was hidden in my trailer and the lights were completely off, I heard Y/N approached and opened the door. She couldn’t turn on the light when she tried and it was when my revenge began.  ‘Hi Y/N’, I said in my Pennywise voice and I started to laugh, ‘You’ll float too’ and I appeared in the dark laughing like a maniac, making all that clown stuff and running towards her, but instead of being scared or I dunno know, perhaps by instinct, she hit me in the face and then in my throat or she tried, but I fell to the ground and my nose began to bleed exaggeratedly” the public and Ellen began to laugh and Y/N put her hands hiding her face feeling guilty again “She approached me and when she saw my state, she panicked and pulled me out of the trailer, that’s where you can see Finn laughing at saw my nose bleeding, Y/N instantly repented, well, she repented and then when we went to the hospital, I still full dressed as a clown to get x-rays and realize that my nose wasn’t broken, she said “you deserve it”, that’s when I decided not to bother my wife never again when she just arrived from her kick boxing class”

“Did you sleep on the couch that night?”

“Uhhm, not exactly, she felt really bad for hitting me, my nose was very swollen”

“She’s lucky not having sanctions for domestic violence in her records, uh?” Ellen joked “What about kids?  Have you planned to have any?  You would give us very beautiful babies”

“Oh, thank you, Ellen” Bill laughed “But we’re not interested yet. Both Y/N and I are very focused on our careers, maybe in the future, but not now”

“That sounds good Bill!  And just to say goodbye, could you make that characteristic Pennywise’s smile?”

“Of course, for which camera?”

“Number two” Bill turned to the camera and made the smile, the audience applauded and gets excited “thank you Bill! I hope to have you here again very soon!”

“I hope so  Ellen, it was a pleasure” He stands up to say goodbye and Ellen kissed him for her “social experiment” the audience applauded and Bill turns red with embarrassment, he had completely forgotten about that…

requests are open! (x)


What I Read This Week


I read some great fics this week, but not many as I would like as I’m back at school :(

not gold like in your dreams by ebenroot, Teen, 49k (WIP)
in which Victor and Yuuri are roommates and Yuuri has a secret. LOVE this!

More Than Okay by LoneWolf_With_Internet, Gen, 6.4k
While on tour, the last thing Viktor would have expected during his stop in Japan would be to give a free performance to his fans at a karaoke bar, but what surprised him even more was the cute Japanese skater – that Viktor swears he’s seen before –the crowd pressured into joining him on stage for a duet. Needless to say, Victor had more fun than he originally anticipated. So cute omg!

And Once Upon a Song by missmichellebelle, Teen, 6.2k (WIP)
A popular high school ice hockey star and a shy, academically gifted transfer student discover they share a secret passion for singing. When they end up accidentally auditioning for the lead roles in the school musical, it threatens East High’s rigid social order and sends their peers into an uproar. A HSM AU I AM SCREAMING THIS IS SO GOOD

Nerve Endings by Phyona, Explicit, 57k (WIP)
When Yuuri moves in with Victor in St. Petersburg, they have to work through Yuuri’s anxiety and Victor’s secrets to find their balance. Oh my god I was sobbing so much at the end… I love this fic so much

Unwritten by kaizuka, Teen, 34k
Soulmates AU where whatever you write on your own skin appears on your soulmate, but when there is a language barrier, meeting becomes just a little more difficult than it should be. Amazing!

Language Barriers by Galloping_Monroe, Teen, 120k (WIP)
Victor Nikiforov had always wanted to travel the world. When an opportunity arises to spend his final year of university study abroad, he is quick to leap at the chance. Twelve months spent in twelve different countries, he can’t wait to see new places, meet new friends, and finish out his degree with a bang. He just didn’t expect to fall in love along the way. Yuri Katsuki only applied because his friend forced him to. He’s just trying to get through the year, keep his head down and his grades up. Victor has other ideas. You all have to check out this fic!

Meet Me by the River by c0rnfl0wer, Explicit, 11k
Every Kupala Night has come and gone without his attending, but now that Viktor Nikiforov is getting older and taking over the position as leader of his village, he has to start taking his life in a different direction. He wasn’t sure whether he expected anything at all in this way. But when Yuuri catches his wreath, he finds the path he had always longed for. SOOOOOO AMAZING

Aria: Stammi Vicino, Non Te Ne Andare by exile_wrath, Teen, 34k (WIP)
Alternatively: the tale of Yuuri Katsuki, who never ages and never dies and has lived frozen in time for centuries, and his attempts to keep his adopted son from killing the new guest. My favourite immortal AU ever!

Like a Fairytale by lucycamui, Teen, 63k (WIP)
In which Prince Victor gets swept off his feet at a royal banquet and will go to any length to find his ‘Cinderella’ Yuuri. (And Phichit is the fairy godmother who has no idea what he’s doing). So so cute and amazing!

The Boyfriend Experience by cryingoverspilledvodka, Explicit, 119k (WIP)
Katsuki Yuuri is an accomplished escort at 23, operating under the pseudonym Eros, in Detroit. When one of his favourite clients sets him up with none other than world-renowned figure skater Victor Nikiforov, the delicate balance between Yuuri’s personal and professional life teeters ever closer towards ruin. So smutty and incredible, if you haven’t read this yet, you must read it!

(˃̶͈̀_˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾( ノ_ಠ)₍₍ (̨̡ ‾᷄♡‾᷅ )̧̢ ₎₎

Here’s to another week of great fic reading! Be sure to give the authors some love!

5 Stages

Matt Murdock x Reader

Summary: The 5 stages of falling in love with Matt Murdock.
Genre: Romance/fluff
Rating: T
Warnings: Swearings, injuries
2,038 words

Notes: HELLO EVERYONE. First, I want to apologize for my late responses to the few requests I have but I’M WORKING ON IT. My internet it’s not working properly so that’s one more stone in my way… :/ The requests are closed until I sort it out. So I’ll leave you guys with this Matt one I wrote and didn’t post. Feedback always welcomed. <3 ENJOY! 

Stage 1: Butterflies
You can’t get the person out of your head. 

At first, Matt thought it was temporary. 

Since Fisk, Nelson & Murdock earned some nice cases and clients and Foggy insisted that they needed another secretary. A internet ad and a 20 minute interview later, you got hired. 

4 months working with them and it felt like you were long time friends. Foggy treated you like a sister and Karen was glad and clearly relieved that she had a girlfriend to count on after everything she’d been through. 

But with Matt…it was different. He kept saying to himself the both of you were just friends but deep down, he knew it was a little bit more than that. 

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anonymous asked:

Okay. Get this. Good uncle Yuuri is planning the triplets' birthday party and hires magician! Victor. Victor chooses Yuuri as a participant even though it's a kid birthday party and he's supposed to choose a kid.

Okay. Get this. You sent me this amazing thought, and I decided to write a 2,000+ word fic on it. Because my self-control needs to be located by search party. I’m going to post the whole thing here and move it to Ao3 tomorrow when I feel less lazy :). Thank you for sharing this INSANELY INSPIRING idea with me and I hope you enjoy…. “Magic Man” :)

(It is long so there is a cut line! Definitely SFW!)

The ad had said that Victor the Great could entertain audiences of all ages, that his tricks were beyond anyone’s wildest dreams, and that he could convince even the most cynical people that magic was real.

What the ad didn’t say, was that Victor was absolutely the most beautiful man who had ever dared to exist on earth.

The lack of warning had certainly taken a toll on Yuuri’s heart, as he opened the front door to Yuuko’s house and came face-to-face with the man-god parading as a children’s party magician. The black top hat, tailed black coat and bright red bow tie should have immediately elicited laughter. Instead, Yuuri felt his tongue swell two sizes in his mouth and steal away his ability to speak. Maybe that was Victor’s first trick, robbing Yuuri of all his senses with the man’s magical out-of-this-world blue eyes and smile that lit Yuuri’s body on fire. Blushing and staring at his feet, Yuuri waved Victor into the house and lead him to the back yard where the show would take place.

Victor followed the dark-haired man through a dining room filled with delicious looking food, through a kitchen that looked like a food bomb got gone off, and out into a backyard that was chaotic with kid noise. Children ran in every direction, giggling and yelling “you’re it!” as they tagged their friends. On the outskirts of the yard, the adults stood in small clumps of conversation, occasionally dodging a sprinting child. It was a typical kid party, and Victor grinned at the lively nature of his future audience.

“Um… here…” Yuuri stopped and pointed to the small platform of a wood deck. “I mean…” rubbing the back of his neck, Yuuri could feel the blush on his cheeks heating up as the blue eyes studied him, “you can set up here.” Finally gaining an ounce of courage, Yuuri lifted his gaze to meet Victor’s.

“Are you Yuuri?” Stepping forward, Victor set his black cases onto the deck. His slight invasion of Yuuri’s personal space was intentional as Victor continued to smile at the adorable man.

Yuuri’s first email, inquiring about Victor’s availability for the party, had been formal and inquisitive. Victor had responded back quickly, confirming that he would love to provide entertainment. It was Yuuri’s second response, with a cheeky question about Victor arriving by car or in a puff of smoke that had peaked Victor’s interest. It had been a silly joke, but Victor had played along, answering not only in jest, but also with a hint of flirting.

Nineteen emails had been exchanged over the course of two weeks and Victor had been unable to sleep the night before the party, the anticipation of meeting his email partner keeping him awake with nervous energy. The dark mop of hair, shy brown eyes, and flushing cheeks had to belong to Yuuri Katsuki, and Victor had been trying to come up with something clever throughout their short walk through the house. Instead of cleverness, he had barely managed to ask Yuuri to identify himself, and Victor was internally groaning over his own failure.

Swallowing, Yuuri studied Victor’s face. “I am,” he said, gaining courage he stuck out his hand, “uh, nice to meet you Victor the Great.” When Victor chuckled, Yuuri wanted to crawl inside of the piñata and let the kids beat his embarrassment out of him.

“You’ll watch the show, won’t you?” Victor slipped his hand into Yuuri’s, squeezing it slightly. “Maybe if you watch me closely, you’ll be able to figure out my tricks.” Leaning forward again, Victor winked at Yuuri. He prayed that he sounded flirty instead of creepy.


Getting tackled from behind by three squealing triplets, Yuuri fell forward into Victor’s arms. Freezing, Yuuri looked up and immediately lost himself again in Victor’s eyes. Feeling his body shaken by the force of three sets of hands, Yuuri snapped his attention back to his nieces. “Mom said you have to help with the piñata while the magician sets up! Dad said you can flirt later!” All three girls cackled at their joke as Yuuri’s face caught fire.

Smile on his lips, Victor stepped up onto the wooden deck and bent to open his first case. “I’m ok with that plan,” throwing a wink over his shoulder, Victor forced himself to concentrate on his props as a stammering Yuuri was dragged toward the line of screaming kids.

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PRODUCE101 – 10 Moments That Made Me Completely Lose My Shit

I want to forget this negativity about the final episode, and I want to start cherishing this wonderful time with Produce 101 Season 2. There were 10 moments that dumbfounded me completely. Some of them turned me into a screaming shitty fan girl, others made me burst into ridiculous laughter, and there were those moments that changed my though self into a crybaby. And yes, these are the things I want to remember when I think back on this amazing time we had with 101 fantastic trainees.

(These moments aren’t posted in a particular order.)


MMO’s Jisung is best known for his bubbly and quirky personality. However, he showed after his team’s 10 Out Of 10 performance a completely new side of himself – an emotional crybaby. But when he placed third during the very first elimination episode, I completely lost my shit. I didn’t expect that. I was so touched by his happy tears… I started to cry as well. 

Originally posted by lookgoodkpop

Unfortunately, it wasn’t the last time I burst into a flood of tears because of him. And that means I basically cried more and more and more along with our MMO hyung’s emotional outbreaks. Thanks for turning me into a whiney bitch, Jisung!


Girls all around the world went crazy when the first team performed their Boy in Luv show. However, when the second team arrived on stage and started their own version of Boy in Luv… I completely lost my shit – within the very first seconds.

Originally posted by yourmomentofkpop

Dongho’s team hasn’t won this competition, but he won everyone’s attention with his extremely sexy expression – which also turned into his trademark. Yes, even the trainees backstage started to recognize that Kang Daddy Dongho is a sexy beast. His nickname Sexy Bandit is definitely well deserved.


I always thought that Seonho stands in Guanlin’s shadow. He hasn’t had much screen time, and despite his handsome face, he was easily forgettable – for me. But holy shit – the last elimination episode before the final proved me so fucking wrong.

Originally posted by ong-seungwoo

He made me completely lose my shit with his incredible bromancy behavior among his hyungs – especially the bromance between him and Minhyun. Have you ever seen such a perfect maknae? As WANNA ONE’s actual maknae, I hope Guanlin carries on Seonho’s skinship work. Just do it, bro!


My first bias of the show was Taehyun thanks to his incredible dancing skills. I wasn’t sure if he can beat his first performance during the second episode, but HELL YES… he did – and it started with just one smirk.

Originally posted by aceyng

Boom! After that the probably best dance performance of Produce 101 happened – and yes, this made me lose my shit… obviously. With Shape Of You he revealed a completely new side of himself, and stole everyone’s show. 


Not exactly one of my favorite “moments” – but every single time MMO’s trainees appeared on screen during episode 1 and 2, I’ve started to lose my shit.

Originally posted by cherry-jimin

Mnet didn’t show their evaluation performance, but thankfully – they revealed a lot of their gossip during the first two episodes. Oh yeah, the MMO Gossip Squad was born. Especially Jisung shined more than anyone else with his unique kind of humor. Thank you Mnet for revealing their stupid conversations.

#6 배고파 // BAEGOPA

I already knew that Seongwoo was funny as fuck. But during the tenth episode I completely lost my shit when he introduced us to his own version of BTS’ Boy in Luv.

Originally posted by 116fanxyzihoes

What the fuck, dude? I will never be able to listen to this song with proper lyrics again. NEVER! Thanks, Seongwoo! You ruined Boy in Luv for me. Now I can’t stop laughing when this song appears on my playlist.


When Mnet announced that TripleH are going to make a song for the Produce 101 trainees, everyone went full nuts. I would lose my shit as well. But when they finally arrived, the other trainees who had no chance to work with HyunA, E-Dawn and Hui couldn’t believe their eyes when they saw Korea’s current sex symbol.

Originally posted by lai-guanlin

As someone who has already seen HyunA live, I can confirm – this is exactly what happens to yourself. Your mouth opens widely, you start to drool and you probably stop breathing. However, it was so incredibly sweet to see how awkward and shy the trainees started to act when HyunA greeted them. Gosh, too cute!


Do you think this is fun, Kang Daniel? You’ve already destroyed enough ovaries with your previous performances, but doing THIS made countless ladies probably pregnant – with or without their ovaries.

Originally posted by nctaetrash

Yes, I’ve lost my shit. I’ve lost more than my shit. I think I’ve lost my virginity for the second time. And I blame this sexy bastard (plus the other Kang) and his sensual performance during the ninth episode of Produce 101. Fuck you, Daniel! Oh, wait… fuck me! 

(This is clearly a joke, guys. I obviously still have my virginity.)


Brutal force is what makes men sexy, right? Yeah… well, not really. But when Kang Dongho starts smashing – he smashes everyone. And yes, that’s actually freaking hot.

Originally posted by goddanik

The revenge for his team’s maknae Guanlin made me lose my shit, because Kang Real Namja Dongho fucked everyone. EVERYONE! No one was save during the arm wrestling competition, and no one was save during the punching contest. Sexy Bandit just killed them all.


There was only one moment of Produce 101 that forced me to pause – yes, during a live stream. I’ve danced ballet and modern for a very long time, and I absolutely still have a certain connection to this kind of dance. And when Jung Jung suddenly appeared on stage and started dancing “freestyle” together with Eunki – I COMPLETELY LOST MY SHIT!

Originally posted by congstellation

Oh my God, boys! This was one of the best moments of my entire life – and I am not someone who ships boys with boys (I usually ship boys with myself). I fell in love – with Eunki, Jung Jung, the dance and Group D. Thank you, thank you so much for this perfect moment that proves that I’m the worst creep ever. Thank you!

If you want to check out my previous Produce 101 shit… yeah… here it is. I write a lot of inappropriate but also sweet stuff.







Can I Have This Dance?

A/N: Yes I know it’s November. Yes I know The Nutcracker is traditionally a Christmas ballet. No I don’t care. lol it’s never too early to write some good ol Logince. Thanks to @sinning-tragedy for the wonderful prompt. I hope I did it justice. I may write this as a full fleshed story? I dunno. 

I also unknowingly wrote this to a song, so that trend continues. Thanks @honeyglazedchicken for sending me the song. Could I Have This Dance by Anne Murray. It’s beautiful and sweet and I highly recommend you listen to it. 

Warnings: very mild swearing 

Pairing: Logince 

Word count: 1,965

If there was one thing Logan couldn’t stand about his job, it was the drama queens. Actors and actresses thinking that just because they were the star of the show, they could walk over everyone’s toes and act like it was somehow that person’s fault.

Roman Sanders was the worst of them.

In all of his years of working as a tech manager for this theater, he’d never encountered someone as egotistical as Roman. He boasted so much and so loudly that Logan could hear him through the sound booth, and that was with the stage mics off. He was the best dancer, the greatest looking human alive, it was no wonder he was cast as the Prince in The Nutcracker. Heck, he could be an actual prince if his looks were anything to go by.

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The Topmodel AU I hadn’t realised I need

Kicking this AU Weekend (more infos here) off early because I’ll go on a trip later today and won’t be back until Saturday evening, so most of my posts will have to wait until Sunday&Monday (yes, I’m counting Easter Monday as part of the weekend, sue me). So let’s just talk about my Topmodel!AU headcanon for a sec, shall we? 

Not gonna lie, I came up with this ten minutes ago, so expect lots of incoherent rambling.

Alright, so. Tony is nineteen, just finished his master degree and determined to piss his father off as much as possible–a dangerous combination that ends with him signing up for the next topmodel casting instead of starting to work for SI like Howard wants. He didn’t really expect to make it through, he’s too short to be a model, damn it, and he really doesn’t appreciate Rhodey howling with laughter. But his father’s expression when he learns of it is so worth it.

And well, Tony is good with cameras, alright? He’s confident, knows how to put on a show, and suddenly those abilities aren’t just a necessity, they’re actually really helpful. He moves into a house with the other models (though having to give up his phone and being cut off from the internet is hell, seriously, how do regular people survive this?). 

He makes friends with some of the other models, a pretty redhead named Pepper who walks in heels like she was born to be on the catwalk, the sharp-tongued Maria who doesn’t appear to be interested by anything–she doesn’t even blink when they get to shoot a short clip with famous actor Steve Rogers, Tony is convinced she’s secretly a cyborg–and Clint who, by virtue of being the only boy, immediately becomes Tony’s new best friend.

The judges can be harsh in their critic, but their trainer Bruce is an absolute sweetheart. Also the first time Natasha Romanov compliments Tony on the expressiveness in his photo shot is a world-altering experience. 

Sometimes being locked into a house with so many people can be a bit much though. That’s when Tony sneaks into the kitchen at two AM, just to get some time for himself. Which is how he meets Bucky. Well, he doesn’t meet him that way, Bucky is a camera man on the crew after all, and he’s always around. But sharing a sandwich in the middle of the night is a different kind of knowing, okay?

There’s also the fact that Tony may or may not have a tiny little crush on the guy–Bucky is attractive and witty and has this super secret ability of stalking them all day with a camera and not making it weird, and also his abs, really, Tony’s never had a chance. So. There may be a bit of flirting involved in their midnight meets.

Which is not a problem, Tony flirts with everyone, it’s his thing. His bisexuality isn’t a secret either, in fact the fans are shipping ‘Clony’ very insistently. And though that’s just a terrible ship name–Tony tells the interviewer as much–he and Clint do like to play it up a little, just for fun. The problem is, Bucky isn’t shy about flirting back, and as it turns out, that’s something Tony’s brilliant brain can’t handle. 

What also turns into a bit of a problem is that Tony isn’t exactly subtle, no matter how hard he tries to hide his crush. There’s a lot of blushing and stuttering involved for one, and that’s just plain awkward. Tony doesn’t blush, alright, especially not when someone calls him cute. He’s not cute. He’s hot. He’s handsome. But not cute. And the way Bucky smiles and nods at him indulgently isn’t fair at all.

Then, there’s the week eight incident. The sexy shoot. Yeah. Let’s just not talk about that. [Everyone is talking about it. Clint and Pepper refuse to shut up about it. And Tony knows he did well, that his photo was the best of that week, but it’s still embarrassing because he knows he was throwing that smoldering look straight at Bucky–and who had placed him behind their photographer, damn it–and it’s just weird.]

Maria leaves them at the end of week nine and Tony resolutely refuses to cry. It’s part of the show, he’s known that from the start, and it’s not like he’ll never see her again. Which is what he very insistently tells Bucky who just as insistently convinces Tony to drink the hot comfort chocolate he’s smuggled in from Starbucks.

“I can’t do this,” Tony tells him, stares sadly into his half-empty cup. “I’m not supposed to be a model, I can’t be a model, what am I even doing here?”

“Tony,“ Bucky interrupts the beginnings of his panic attack, voice serious. “I’ve seen you out there, you love being a model. You love being on that stage, you own it. Look, take it from someone who’s been filming at this show for three seasons, you’ve got talent. You’re improving every week. And it’s true that that’s not the only thing it takes, model business is tough. Not everyone can handle that, but I don’t have any doubts that you could.”

“You think so?” Tony asks and hates how hopeful he sounds. Because this was supposed to be joke, a way to annoy his father, he wasn’t supposed to care about this.

“I do,” Bucky nods, then smirks. “You’ve got the ‘bitch please’ attitude down already too.” To which Tony sniffs derisively. Somehow the night ends with both of them laughing, and when Tony returns to his room, Clint sends him a knowing look.


“You know what.”

“No I don’t.”

“Yes you really do.”

“Fuck you.”

“Love you too.”

“You’re in love with him, aren’t you?” Rhodey asks two minutes after his arrival. Tony is too overwhelmed by his surprise visit to even bother denying it. 

“Oh, Tony,” Rhodey sighs, pulls him into a hug, and Tony melts. He’s missed this, missed it so much. Clint is a great guy, but he refuses to cuddle Tony the way Rhodey does. To be fair, nobody cuddles Tony like Rhodey does but that shouldn’t stop his friends from trying. “Now, tell me about that almost-porno-photo shooting I keep hearing so much about.”

Tony squeaks in mortification.

Clint leaves them at the end of that week, and this time Tony does cry. He’d deny it but the bastard took pictures. Actually, who are we kidding, he still denies it.

Paradoxically, with the house becoming more and more empty, Tony ends up spending more and more time with Bucky. It felt crowded and overwhelming in the beginning, but now the silence is bothering him. He’s already dreading going back to his tiny little flat or worse, his parents’ mansion.

By now Tony’s crush on Bucky is common knowledge, basically. Pepper keeps making not at all subtle comments, the rest of the filming crew constantly hang around in hopes of catching the first kiss, there are jokes and knowing smirks–and Tony is getting sick of it all.

He gets it, alright? Bucky has shown no interest in him–isn’t even allowed to have interest in him–and really the man can’t be that obvious. Clearly is kindly sparing Tony the embarrassment of being rejected in front of an audience. Tony appreciates that. And he’s trying hard not to make things awkward, but he can’t help his feelings, so if everyone else could just cut it out, he’d really appreciate it.

In the end, Tony makes it into the top five. He’s got talent, Natasha and Fury of all people assure him off that, but he’s also had a bad week and his picture just wasn’t as good as those of the other participants. So, Tony packs his bags, says goodbye to everyone, resists the urge to kiss Bucky just for the fuck of it, and flies back home. He doesn’t cry. He’s too numb.

Not until he’s in the privacy of his own home at least, where the stress, the excitement, the weight of those last few incredible weeks finally catches up with him. It seems like such a waste suddenly, such an embarrassment, and god, he’s a failure, he’s never going to leave his apartment ever again.

He does. Rhodey makes sure of it. Makes sure to remind him that this is not in fact the end of the world because Rhodey is sadly a very rational person who’s far too used to Tony’s dramatics.

“You’re not gonna give up on something you want, Tony,” Rhodey tells him one night. “It’s not your style.”

He turns out to be right.

Tony doesn’t want to work for SI, not right now at least. Because he genuinely liked modelling, and he doesn’t- he wants to give this a shot. He’s young, he’s got lots of time to argue with boring, old board members later. He starts looking for shootings instead, takes a job here and there. Looks up a couple of offers he gets because of his surprising popularity on the show too. (He honestly didn’t expect so many people to follow him on Instagram, what the hell?)

By the time the live finals roll around, Tony is excited again. Excited to see the other models one last time, excited to walk on that stage one last time, just excited. There are a lot of hugs and tears at their reunion, lots of things to catch up on.

When Tony walks down the catwalk on the night of the finals, with all the other models who’ve been part of the show, he wears a beautiful, glittering, evening gown, murderously high heels and the worlds most brilliant smile–because Tony Stark never does things half-way. (Tony Stark never passes up an opportunity to give Howard an aneurysm.)

He asks Bucky out that night. Bucky gapes at him, blurts out, “Don’t you already have a boyfriend? That Rhodey guy?”, causes everyone in their vincity to groan in annoyance and disbelief.

“Seriously?” Pepper glares–and wow, that’s a terrifying sight. “I’ve watched the two of you pining after each other for three months, if you don’t kiss and make up right now I’m gonna stab you with my heels!”

And that is the story of how Clint got to twitter a picture of Tony’s and Bucky’s first kiss, hashtagged #IdbeheartbrokenifIdidntshipit #Sorryclonyfans. 

“I have come to make you better,
I have come to take you away.”

Anon request: Stevie talking about her fans.

“For your own knowledge, if you ever think that you don’t matter, I want to tell you something. To me, you’re the only thing in the whole world that matters.” - US Festival, 1983.

“So this is like for me a very special time, because I feel wild, I’m very wild and so is my audience and there is that incredible … We are all in love, everybody’s in love and I feel it when I walk out on stage and they feel it… And its like, you know, it’s really deep and very much all consuming for me. I said a long time ago, I would not hedge. If I was going to be a writer I was going to write down the truth. I wasn’t going to name names and be unkind, but I was going to tell the truth. I don’t have any reason to not, and if I am going to write and I going to make these songs experiences that I know everyone of you have had, that when you have that experience and you hear that song, you’ll click into it and you will know exactly what I am talking about. And, those are the only people I care about, the people that understand that, if you read between my lines. No one knows unless you really look. That’s the people I write for, because someone needs to write about what is happening to all of us.” - MTV Interview, 1983.

“I would just like them to know how much I care about them. And to know that it’s not hard to give up the rest of my life for them because it’s what I want and I just want them to be happy and feel good. And I wanna enhance their life a little bit..” - MTV Interview, 1983.   

“I am in love with the people that I write songs for. My love is donated and dedicated completely to my audience. It’s very difficult for me to give. You know when I walk out on the stage it’s like that’s when I’m really me. When I walk home and go back into my hotel room, I don’t even want to talk about anything else, you know. In my heart, the love that I have for the people that I play for and write songs for, those kids that I jump off the stage and attack security… That they matter so much to me that’s it’s difficult for anything else to matter to me. I’m not willing to compromise. Anything that comes into my life is a compromise to me. I don’t even, I can’t go to the dentist or the doctor or anything because I have no time. So anything that comes into my life is a compromise, except my singing and my being there for rehearsal and my being there on Monday morning for that airplane and I am into the sea Tuesday night. You know that’s that Jim. That’s it. That’s the end. - Jim Ladd Interview, 1983.

“The people who listen to me sing, the kids in Australia, the kids in the United States, the kids in Europe, anybody… My friends, you, anybody who wants me to sit down and sing for them. That makes it worth it.” - The Meldrum Tapes Interview, 1986.

“When I look at the audience out there, it’s like I’m looking at my children.” - Record Mirror, May, 1989.

“Sometimes I’ll be sitting in an airport or someplace, waiting, absolutely exhausted, maybe I’m late for a rehearsal or something, and all I really want to do is be alone at home reading in a bubble bath. I’ll be just about to completely lose it when some shy person will carefully approach me and tell me about how much a certain song of mine helped them though a crisis or a time in their own life… That’s exactly what makes it all worth it. It’s all about love, and trust, and acceptance, and it is completely priceless.” 1994

“Well, you know, let’s see what is my relationship the fans? It’s everything, it is everything for me you know to know that people love my music, is like you know… It completes my life, it gives my life closure and makes me understand what all this has been for.“ - WMGK Radio, July, 1998

"Once I write a song that connects with people, they don’t ever forget that connection. So I think a lot of connections were made in the very, very beginning that made it last through now. Because those were such strong ties that were made then, that they just were never broken.” - VH1 Behind The Music, 1998.

“I just want to affect people, I just wanna get… And I get little notes and they’re all in my journals, you know, just like what you just said, a little note written on a paper that’s just signed “love, Amber”, and I never get to see Amber or talk with her in person but I have that little note that says “there were times in my life where I just thought I wasn’t gonna make it. It was dark; it was a dark place…” I think I get the things I’m supposed to get, of course I don’t get everything but I’ll go into my room and my assistant will have laid out like five or six things on my bed and I’ll sit there when I’m gone to bed, and I’ll sit there cross-legged and I’ll read these things. And then I’ll stick them into my journal so my journals are big anyway, but then they are like full because I have lots of things that I want to leave right where they were when I got them. I want them to be on September 19th, 2012. I wanna have them there always. I get the things I’m supposed to get and I talk to the people I’m supposed to talk to. That’s how I look at it. We are the chess pieces and somebody up there, the spirits are moving us all around and moving us together. And I’m not going away, I’m going to continue to write these poems for you as long as I can.” - Mill Valey Film Festival, October, 2012.

“I’m not married, I don’t have kids, I have a tiny little crazy dog who’s 14. I have my music that I love and what I do is I write stuff for you, that’s what I do.“ - Mill Valey Film Festival, October, 2012.

“We are not making this (In Your Dreams documentary) for us, we’re making this for you. (…) We are very, very aware as writers that you are going through the relationships that we are talking about, right along with us. It’s happening at this very moment to all of you here also, we understand that. You’re not a songwriter, we’ll write the songs for you. And we’re making you into songwriters and we’re making you experience your life also (through the songs) and that’s what a writer does. If this little movie does just a little bit of that, just reaches out and makes each one of you you sit at the desk with a pen, hopefully a pen and a piece of paper, this beautiful stationary, and writes down what happens to you and you’re doing what we are trying to do to make you do that.” - Hamptons Film Festival, October, 2012.

"We just bounce off of each other. I throw the dreams out there and you throw them back at me and that’s how we make this together. This is not anything that’s done by one person. It happens because we’re a team. And you are my team. You are. And I mean it.” - Canadian Premiere of In Your Dreams, April, 2013.

“You guys need music as much as I need to make music for you. I’m tired, but I’ll never be tired of this or of you.” - 24 Karat Gold Tour, 2016.

Being a MSTie: On Both Sides of the Screen

Hey!  My name is Rebecca Hanson.  I’ve been a MSTie for over half of my life. And for the past year I’ve been a writer, Gypsy and Synthia on Season 11 of Mystery Science Theater 3000 The Return.  I bet you’d like to know how this all happened.  I am more than happy to tell you all about it.  Now that I can!

One Saturday in November 2013, Joel Hodgson (creator + original host of MST3K), Trace Beaulieu (Dr. Clayton Forrester + Crow T. Robot) and Frank Conniff (TV’s Frank) came to Chicago to speak at the Museum of Broadcast Communications because it was the 25th Anniversary of Mystery Science Theater 3000.  My friend Kevin had posted on Facebook that he was bummed to be out of town for this grand event but if any of his friends could go that would make him feel better about it.  Thankfully, I was in town that weekend and so was my husband, Tim, and our two friends, Ross and Nikki.  The four of us met up at the MBC happy to be out of the cold, grey autumnal rain.  We found pretty decent seats.  I could not see the panel that well but once Joel started speaking, I was instantly calmed yet exhilarated and magically transported back to my college days where we spend certain weekends we didn’t have shows (I was a theatre/speech major so a decent amount of my college weekends were spent rehearsing and performing) at various peoples’ houses or dorm rooms watching as many episodes as my friend Jason’s dad could fit onto a VHS tape.  These were the days before streaming or even DVD’s for that matter.  Jason’s dad would record episodes of MST3K from Comedy Central and the (then) Sci-Fi channel for us to devour in our small, cloistered college town in northwestern Iowa.  The Mondays after our MST3K Marathon Watching weekends, my stomach would hurt from all of the gut-busting giggles we let out while watching these hapless fools with their robots make miserable movies magical with their humor.  It was an incredibly bonding time with this group of friends and it also made me realize, hey - these guys aren’t too far from me - I mean, I only grew up Iowa, a few hours south of The Cities and these guys were making comedy (and a whole universe, really) that looked deceptively simple that I could not get enough of.  I was inspired by it all.  

And that Saturday in November 2013 (many years after college), to be in Chicago, with my friends and husband - each of us had moved to Chicago at different times for the sole purpose of learning all forms of improv and sketch comedy to become performers and each one of us was (and still is/are) - was an extra special experience to share.  

After these fine gents were done speaking, they opened it up for a Q & A.  There was a little voice who waited patiently as other grown-ups asked their questions, when it was finally this little voice’s turn, he asked Trace, “How old is Crow?” 

And Trace said, “Well - how old are you?” 

“EIGHT!” the little voice proudly shared.

“Well, that’s how old Crow is, too.”

Cue the tears streaming down all of our faces as the discussion wrapped and a bunch of us bee-lined it to merch.  My husband and I bought a DVD set then, along with our friends Ross and Nikki, headed to the line where everyone was waiting to get things signed by ‘Joel Robinson and the Mads’.  As Ross, Tim, Nikki and I were waiting, we were scheming.  Ross was part of the Mainstage cast at Second City and Tim had understudied that show the night before. Nikki, Tim, Ross and I all performed with Second City in various capacities so we knew we could all do the improvised set that happens after the second show on Saturday nights.  We were wondering if Joel, Trace or Frank would care to join us on stage?  The thing is, we are all pretty mild-mannered, if not down-right shy at times.  But since I was not part of that particular cast that evening, I decided that I would be the one to ask them once we got up to the table… 

But as we approached the table, Joel exclaimed to Trace and Frank, “Hey! These are the Second City Guys!” And Ross, Tim, Nikki and I lost our minds! Unbeknownst to anyone, Joel had been to the Mainstage show the night before and immediately recognized Ross and Tim (they’re both very strikingly tall, handsome and funny dudes).  We all exchanged pleasantries and had our postcards signed and took pictures with them. 

I told Trace how much he (and the whole MST3K gang) influenced and shaped our comedic voices and God Bless that sweet Trace Beaulieu, he said, “You already had it in you.” 


We asked them if they would be interested or available to come play the set that at Second City that night.  Their travel schedules did not allow it.  But Joel said he would be interested in getting dinner with us if we could.  Of course, all of our little comedy-nerd hearts burst at this invite.  Joel, Ross and Tim connected on Twitter (I was not on Twitter at that point) so we could arrange a time and place.  Luckily, Joel was cool with eating on the earlier side since so many of us had shows that night.  And more luckily (?) he was cool with us inviting the casts of the Mainstage and etc to join us. 

We met and dined at Adobo Grill (the Mexican restaurant that would nearly two years later, burn to the ground and take a good chunk of Second City with it) at a sensible hour.  I sat right next to Joel Hodgson, my long-time comedy hero and we chatted it up about Minnesota, Valleyfair! Amusement Park and all things Midwestern.  As our food was being served to us, Joel said in his thick Midwestern Mom voice, “Should we saaay graaaaace?” 

I said, “Oh, for nice, we should, ya.”

All of us were in awe to dine upon fine Mexican cuisine with the guy who created the show so many of us memorized and loved for so many years.  It was very cool.  I did ask Mr. Hodgson if he would mind getting a picture with just Tim and myself.  He very kindly obliged.

Oh, it was such a nice supper!  Oh, we were so happy!  Uff da, it was so nice! THE END. 


A few weeks later, Joel direct messaged Tim on Twitter to wish us both a Merry Christmas.  


In July of 2014, I came home from Second City and Tim was playing a video game.  He had a smirk on his face.  Tim told me that Joel Hodgson just messaged him, wondering if he could get my phone number… 

I looked my dear husband in the eye and said, “Do. Not. Mess. With. Me.” for I thought he was playing some sort of stupid joke on me.  Which is really not his style at all but — why would Joel remember me and want my info, not Tim’s? He had given Tim his phone number so… I called him.

I called Joel Hodgson’s cellular telephone device with my own cellular telephone device.  I wasn’t shaking at all.  I wasn’t at all nervous.  I wasn’t at all —- mentally barfing with excitement…. 

Joel wondered if I was able or interested in helping him on the final day of Wizard World in Rosemont, IL, that next month (August).  Would I be willing to hang out with him all day, at his booth, and help him talk to all of his adoring fans and learn some lingo and just hang out? 

With him?

With Joel Hodgson?


“Daaaaahhhhhhhhhh, yeah, Joel, noooo problem!” I says to him. 

So, a few nights before I was to hang out with him at Wizard World, he and his friend, Julie (who was helping him the first few days), Tim and I met up for dinner to chat more and she would give me more of the low down on what I needed to do that Sunday at the convention.  So - yeah, Tim and I were gonna have dinner (again!) with Joel!  How cool are we?

I will tell you something I have learned about Joel through the years: if there is some sort of deviled egg option on a menu - he will order it.  And enjoy it. 

Another fun dinner in the books with Joel, I got my info, we all headed our separate ways and that Sunday arrived and I drove out of the city to Rosemont to attend my very first comic book convention (or as most of you say Con) as Joel Hodgson’s Helper. 

It was pretty amazing - all of the costumes, all of the various celebrities, we had (of course) all-access to where ‘the stars’ eat and that was a trip, just seeing all of these people going through a buffet line like they were regular people but only regular people go through buffet lines NOT COMIC AND TV STARS!?!?! THEY ARE JUST LIKE US, I TELL YOU!!! 

After we ate - okay - I barely ate because I was too nervous but I was thankful for fizzy brown caffeine so I slammed that down - Joel and I were lead by security to this little ‘room’ made of pipe and drape so various people could get their picture taken with Joel by a photographer with a proper camera.  I shared some of my spearmint Altoids with Joel (I am good at making sure people have fresh breath) and checked that his hair was in place (he had been wearing a hat earlier) for all of the pictures with his adoring fans. After that photo session, we were lead by security again to Joel’s booth, where he unpacked Tom Servo from the suitcase he was carrying (he didn’t even let me hold the suitcase, even though I was there to assist him. Ah, Joel!) and it is here I started tearing up a bit because I had never been so close to Tom Servo (well, at least at that point in my life) before.  Joel stopped and said, “Rebecca - you know this is not The Original Tom Servo or anything.” 

I told Joel, “Just let me have this moment, okay?  Then I’ll be cool.” 

He chuckled and put Tom on the table, along with various Joel Robinson headshots and, I think, a poster that Steve Vance had made, too.  Then we spent a few hours with lovely MSTies coming to meet Joel, get things signed and I took pictures with their phones of them and Joel.  We did this for awhile, then he was going to speak in another room.  As we walked from one section of the convention center to the other, I had mentioned how much I enjoyed the article about MST3K in ‘WIRED’ magazine earlier that year.   “Oh… you read that?” he asked in his droll Joel voice.  

“Uh, yeah, Joel Hodgson.  I did.” I admitted.  I also flat out said, “If you’re in something, I am going to read about you.” 

For the next hour or so, Joel spoke in this huge room.  There were a ton of questions asked by various MSTies, as it was part Q&A.  I took a few pictures of him speaking because I figured he would want some and probably didn’t think of doing that.  He delighted and charmed the whole room and made all of us laugh a lot… 

but as charming and informative as he was, we still did not get the answer we were all secretly hoping for: That Somehow MST3K Would Return.  I honestly do not remember if anyone out-right asked but, come on, how many years (decades) had we all been wishing and hoping that it would happen?!? 

After the Q&A, Joel and I returned to his booth.  He smiled more and signed more and then it was the end of the day.  I asked him if I could possibly get a picture with him and Tom?  He wondered who would take it for us.  I said I would. Welcome to Selfies, Joel.

We loaded up the booth and he wanted to pay me - which, BELIEVE ME hanging out with him all day was payment enough, I refused, but then he insisted and then he really wanted to do the bit where he literally payed me under the table - so yes, he gave me cash under the table and told me not to blow it all on drugs.  (I only blew half of it on drugs!) 


but as we were leaving the convention center and I will never forget this, he said how he was hoping to some day get MST3K back but who knew if all the sea of legal stuff could even be crossed at that point?  But he said, “If I were ever to get it going again, do you think you and Tim would want to write on it?” 


“DAMNIT, JOEL, YOU’RE MAKING ME CRY AGAIN!  ON AN ESCALATOR!!!” I couldn’t even be cool about or not emote.  I kind of got it together enough to say, “Yes.  Please.  That would be the highest honor Tim or I could ever imagine.  Yes.” 

Then we made sure his taxi was cool with getting him from his hotel to O’Hare and I got into my Subaru and caught my breath a bit. I thought about texting Tim this crazy thing Joel had said to me but could not put it in writing.  I almost thought that would hex it.  And, I honestly thought that Joel was just being nice to me by saying that because I had helped him out all day. But as soon as I got home, I spewed out to Tim: “JoelHodgsonsaidtomyfaceifMST3KevergetsbackontheairwouldyouandIwanttowriteonit?!?”

Tim was also as dumbfounded as me.  I said, “I told him thank you and I kinda started crying on the damn escalator and I said it would be our honor.  But, I think he was just being nice to me because I helped him today so let us never think of this again.  Just know he said it.  Then we have to forget it.” 

Cuz - that’s the kinda thing ya just forget about, right? 

April 2015 comes along.  Joel was coming to Chicago again to promote ‘Other Space” on Yahoo! Screen.  He asked if Tim and I would want to get together for dinner again?  This time, he really wanted Chicago style pizza.  “Is it lame, Rebecca, to want to have Chicago style pizza in Chicago?  Am I just a lame tourist by wanting that?” he asked me over the phone.  

“Not at all, Joel.  Do you mind if we have some friends (more of your adoring fans) join us?” I asked.  He was cool with it.  He met up with us.  We devoured some Chicago style pizza with our friends, Kevin and Carisa. It was about a week after my birthday.  It was raining again.  Joel was able to come see Tim (and Carisa) in his etc show at Second City.  I went along, too. Someone from Yahoo! Screen met us there but I can’t remember her name. Joel laughed a lot during the show.  I made sure he did not forget his umbrella.  He could not make it to my Improvised Sondheim Project show because it was at like 11:00 that night and he had to be up early to promote the next day.  We parted ways.  

I do not have a picture of this meeting to share with y’all.  You will just have to believe me that we all at Lou Malnati’s pizza together.  Okay? 

So, a few months pass and the Kickstarter Campaign to Bring Back Mystery Science Theater 3000 goes up in mid-November.  Tim and I each contributed because we are long time fans of the show.  We watched it before we even knew each other.  It was one of the very few things we actually had in common when we first started dating and - you get it at this point - we freaking love this show!  Neither one of us even said, ‘Do you think Joel will remember what he said at Wizard World?’ 

We could. not. bring. our. selves. to. even. say. it.

In December 2015 we all know that when it closed, it was The Most Successful Kickstarter Campaign for TV and Film in the history of Kickstarter.  

On New Year’s Eve Day 2015, my phone rings. It is Joel Hodgson.  “Hi, Joel!” I answer.  He immediately says, “Looks like we got the money!  Are you in? Is in Tim in?” 


I just looked at Tim and he could tell that all of our dreams were coming true.  I put Joel on speaker.  “Really, Joel?  Really?  YES!!!!  I thought you were just being nice to me the day I helped you at Wizard World - I didn’t know you really wanted us to write!’ I exclaimed.

He went on to say that not only did he want us to write but he wanted us to maybe be on camera but wasn’t sure of those details yet but wanted to make sure we’d be in for the next step.  Then he wished us a Happy New Year.


We were going to write on the show that formed us both as comedians, writers, performers - heck, as People!  We could not believe it. 

Later in January 2016, Joel called me to ask if I would be willing to play a clone of Mary Jo’s (aka Pearl Forrester) … I do not remember if he had named her yet or not but, yeah, he asked if I would be Synthia.  Because, I guess, during all of these interactions we’ve had over the years, he thought I looked a lot like Mary Jo Pehl. 

Then he asked if Tim would be willing to be more of a silent character on camera, as an Observer type of character (he hadn’t come up with those names yet, for sure, I do remember that) and do we have a friend we work with who is funny yet the exact physical opposite of Tim?  We did!  His name is Zach Thompson (the three of us had worked at ComedySportz Chicago together for years) and Joel was like, “Cool.  Do you think he’d like to be in MST?” And we asked Zach and Zach said yes and told Joel then Joel was like, “Cool.  I’ll get in touch with him.” And then our good buddy Zach was on board!

I wrote on two episodes of Season 11.  In March and April of 2016, I was writing on ‘The Loves of Hercules’ and ‘Cry Wilderness’.  I did not know which episodes they would be.  I did not really know what Synthia would be.  I did not know anything else.  I did not fully believe everything was actually happening. I did take a picture to remember because I was still in (happy) shock AND, also, this was the beginning of Keeping Big Secrets. 

In July 2016, I had some downtime from the freelance copywriting gig I had been doing and I had no shows, so I went to visit my sister in Texas so I could be with her twin daughters (my nieces) for their THIRD birthday.  One day, the four of us girls decided we were going to go to IKEA before their big party and on the way there, Tim was frantically calling and texting me.  I guess Joel was wanting to conference call us.  He did not know that I was not in Chicago with Tim but down in the heart of Texas.  Long story short - I took the conference call while sitting in a fake living room set at IKEA.  Harold Buchholz, Joel, Tim and I were all chatting it up a bit.  They wanted to see if we would be available to possibly take things on the road one day and to also talk about shoot dates in Los Angeles for the actual episodes and then Joel Hodgson asks, ‘And Rebecca, I was wondering if you would want to be the voice of Gypsy?’ 




At this point in the call, I had made my way out to the parking lot because it was too loud inside the IKEA, too many people were interested in the couch I was sitting on in the living room set, and I knew I needed air and I just. I just could. I just could not. I just could not believe. I just could not believe that. I just could not believe that Joel. I just could not believe that Joel asked… 

It was silent on my end for a bit.  He said, “Rebecca - think about it and I’ll ge—” and I totally cut him off. 

Y E S ! ! !

“Well, you think about it and get back to me tomorrow, it’s -” 

“Joel, I don’t need to think about it.  Yes.  Are you sure?  Yes!  This is my dream come true.  No need to think.  Yes.  Yes, I will be the voice of Gypsy.” 

I do not really remember how that phone call ended but for a few minutes there, it was just Tim and I on it.  Joel and Harold must have hung up but Tim (in Chicago) and I (in Texas) were still on.  I do remember I had found a picnic table and chairs display set up out in the parking lot of IKEA because I somehow was seated when I asked Tim, “Did Joel Hodgson really ask me, Rebecca Hanson, out loud, on the phone, in front of you and Harold, to be the voice of Gypsy?” 

And Tim said, “Yes, Sweetheart.  He did.  It is Your Dream Come True.  You’re going to be The Voice of Something.  You’re going to be the voice of Gypsy.  On Mystery Science Theater 3000.” 

I went back into IKEA to find my sister and nieces eating pasta and meatballs in the cafeteria.  My almost-three-year-old-nieces were excited to dip their pasta into the red sauce.  I was excited to be the voice of Gypsy.  My sister asked if I was okay.  I told her what happened.  She instantly teared up for me.  My nieces got marinara on their cute dresses.  It was a Red (Sauce)Letter Day for us Hanson Girls. 

So - yeah.  I’ll stop here.  There is more to tell and say but I don’t know if I’ll ever properly explain or express just how thankful and grateful and honored and excited and amazed and blown-away I am by this whole magical ride.  I have been performing and writing and singing and making-things-up for a living for a long time.  I’ve met and worked with a lot of people on TV and stage; some of them were so cool and some were not.  I had reached a point, too, where I was not sure if I should keep doing all of this.  So - I share this with you from a place of hope.  I hope this can inspire you if you are in a place of uncertainty.  Or if you are in a place of security, I hope it inspires you, too.  If you’re in a place where you can make good things happen for other people, do it.  And I do not mean just in the entertainment industry but in any walk of life: Encourage Others. Encourage Yourself.  It helps keeps Us All Runnin’.  


I will forever be thankful to + for this Cool Dude, right here: 

Joel + me at the MST3K Experiment 1101 Chicago Premiere in February 2017. 

anonymous asked:

ADORE your fic <3 if you are looking for a request what anout a reverse AU where Victor is the one idolizing the legendary Japanese skater Yuri?

((honestly, how dare you kick my ass into gear for writing this, i’ve been thinking about this for days??? OTL,,, thank you so much!! ♥♥♥

ps: if anyone hasn’t seen this fricken amazing piece of art pls stare at it forever, im kind of still tearing up its so good??? ;A;

UPDATE DEC 27, 2016 - @narootos is too good for this world, im deceased, here’s more wonderful art for this au

UPDATE DEC 29, 2016 -  @macaroonsie also drew smth for this au!!! im wiping away my tears. goodbye world,,,))

UPDATE JAN 10, 2017 - there is now a blog for the reverse au! @yoireverse

✮reverse au fic tag on the blog! | ✮reverse au art tag!!

summary: Across the ocean, Yuuri Katsuki is about to make his senior debut at the Grand Prix, and there is not a soul alive who believes the young man is coming for less than gold and a new world record. He’d already broken the record at the Juniors last year, so now he has a reputation to maintain.

Victor is just enamored by his body, which is fluid and masterful. He wishes he had even an ounce of Katsuki’s bountiful grace. “I want to dance,” Victor murmurs, playing with the ends of his long, long hair. “I want to make music with my body, Yakov.”
word count: ~3.5k
rating: t
✮read on ao3✮writing tag | ✮RQs closed - send me asks + fic q’s!

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surprise | jjk

Originally posted by jjks

  • pairing: jungkook | male!reader, taehyung | male!reader
  • genre: angst, was supposed to be a drabble but got way ahead of myself
  • word count: 2,779 words
  • warnings: swearing
  • a/n: please do read it—if you want. it’s at the end of the fanfic.
  • summary: you went to surprise your boyfriend at his concert but he ended up surprising you instead.

It was the last song of the night. The seven boys were giving it their all, your eyes never leaving Jungkook’s body as he sang and danced his heart out on stage.

It was your first time watching Jungkook during one of his concerts and as you sat through the whole event, you realised then and there that being on stage was where Jungkook was truly meant to be. Through every song he performed tonight, you could feel the passion and devotion he had for his career.

That night you fell even more in love with the man you were happy to call your boyfriend.

Though it hasn’t been that long since you both started dating, you could feel that Jeon Jungkook was the one for you. He made you feel things you never knew you could. Every moment spent with him was like a dream come true.

As the song came to an end, you cheered along with the thousands of fans that filled the whole arena. You stole one last look at Jungkook, as he huffed in exhaustion from the strenuous dance routine. The boys then stood in a line and with their hands attached to each other, all of them bowed as a final goodbye to the fans.

The light began to dim until all was left was a pool of darkness, notifying the end of the concert. You could feel people around you preparing to leave the arena and you found yourself doing the same.

You weren’t on your way out though, your next destination was backstage. Where you would surprise Jungkook. You have been preparing this surprise for weeks now and you were eager to see his reaction. You already imagined the scenario in your head.

As you were going to send a message to Taehyung—your childhood friend, to secure your safe entry backstage the sudden loudness of the crowd halted your actions. Fans were cheering again as the stage suddenly lit up.

On stage stood Jungkook, mic in hand and almost every spotlights directed towards him. Just by looking at him you could see how nervous he was to be on stage, he was having a hard time to find the right words to say. After a minute or two of him just standing there, trying to compose himself, he finally spoke up. And almost as instantly the whole arena grew quiet.

« Did you guys spend a good time? » he asked and he received a plethora of ‘yes’ from the fans. It gave him more courage to continue.

« Good, » he continued, « There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you all. »

Whispers filled the arena, it got everyone curious. Including you.

« Now that I received the green light from the company, I feel like I can finally be honest with you, ARMYs » he started, « You all know how important you are to me and the hyungs, which is why I feel obligated to come clean. »

Nervousness was more evident now as he got closer to the big reveal. You could feel your heart beat going faster at his words. You didn’t now why but you also began to feel nervous all of a sudden. Dreading his next words.

« Well, here goes nothing, » he mumbled into the mic, « I want to introduce you all to someone. I hope you will welcome her with warmness because just like you guys she is someone really important to me. »

Her, she? you thought to yourself. You were confused and a weird knot started to form in the pit of your stomach. Making you uneasy and cautious of what was coming. You kept your eyes on him as he nodded to his right, indicating something to the people backstage.

Out of the darkness came out a really pretty petite girl with long wavy hair. She approached Jungkook, uncertainty written in the way she slowly walked to him. From where you stood you could see how pretty she was—thankfully you were able to find a good place. She was as shy and  as nervous as Jungkook. She wasn’t even able to look at the thousands of fans in front of her.

Once close enough, Jungkook’s arm laced itself around the small of her back—it almost seemed like it was out of habit. It made the latter even more shy, looking down in embarrassment from the sudden PDA.

« ARMYs meet Yerin, my girlfriend… » Jungkook revealed, strengthening his hold on Yerin as he waited for his fans reaction.

Everything seemed to stop once you registered his words. You could feel your heart beating extremely fast. Tears pooled in your eyes as you began to feel the pain of his revelation. You barely were able to see what was in front of you, one word engraved itself on your mind.

Girlfriend? you asked yourself, He has a girlfriend?

If he had a girlfriend, what did that make you? From the way you were seeing it; he knew her way before he got to meet you. Which would make you his secret lover. The person he was cheating on someone with. How could he not say anything.

The more you thought about it the painful everything was getting. You just got betrayed by someone you were beginning to trust, again.

Various questions came to your mind; What am I to him? What did I mean to him? What about our relationship? Did he lie all this time? Questions you had no answers to.

You snapped back to reality when the fans threw kind comments at the pair. She’s pretty!, We’re happy for you!, Jungkook and Yerin, fighting! they said. The pair instantly felt relief hearing the kind and supportive words thrown at them. Relieved of the fans acceptance, It made Jungkook more even more grateful to his fans. He knew now that no matter what happened, they would have his back.

« Thank you guys so much for your kind words, » he laughed tears evident in his eyes, « you don’t know how much it means to us! »

Seeing him getting teary eyed made the fans begin to chant ‘it’s okay’ to him, as a way to comfort him.

The pair both bowed to the fans in thanks and with a kiss on Yerin’s temple—which made the fans go wild— they left the stage. Smiling as they were accompanied by the fan’s chant.

While everybody was happy for the couple, it took everything in you not to break down right there and then. The pain and the feeling of betrayal was unbearable. It felt as if your whole world was falling apart.

In a rush you picked up all of your belongings and pushed yourself out of the arena.

A few tears escaped along the way but the dimness of the main stage helped you on hiding it. On your way out, you debated on wether you should just go home or confront Jungkook immediately. After some thinking you decided on the latter, you needed answers.

The moment you arrived at the backstage’s entrance, you were stopped by a big burly man who stood in front of the entry.

« Pass? » He looked down at you.

« I-I… » you stuttered trying your hardest to form a sentence but to no avail.

« No pass, no entry. » The security guard said firmly.

« I-I h-have to talk to Jungkook, please let me in, » you begged but the guard stood his ground.

« No pass, no entry, » he repeated.

« P-please, I-I assure you I’m not some crazy fan, » you tried to explain, « I-I know him, you can even ask him. »

« No pass, no entry » he repeated again though this time with a hint of uncertainty. Your disheveled form and puffy eyes were clouding his judgement.

You looked at the guard in front you in disbelief, he didn’t look like he was going to let you in. You sighed and then you remembered that you could always call your boyfriend directly. So you did. You took a few steps back not getting too far from the entrance as you waited for Jungkook to pick up your call.

After a few rings you ended up in his voicemail. You tried calling a second time than a third time but to no avail. After the fourth try you decided to just call Taehyung instead, the only other person you knew in the group.

« Hello? » you sighed in relief as you heard Taehyung’s deep voice at the other end.

« I-I need your help to get backstage » you cut to the chase.

« Wh-what? » he stuttered, « Y-you’re here? » he asked surprised.

« Taehyung, please. I don’t know what’s going on right now but I know that I have to see Jungkook » you begged. You were on the verge of losing it, you were tired. All you wanted was to understand this mess.

« Where are you? » he asked after a minute of silence, « I’ll come and fetch you. »

You told him that you were a the entrance of the backstages and he told you he was on his way then hung up the phone.

You paced around the hallway waiting for your best friend. And after what felt like forever he finally showed up.

You were about to say something when he suddenly grasped your wrist and dragged you to the end of the hallway. Earning you both a weird stare from the guard that had kept his eye on you the whole time.

« Taehyung, wait » you struggled to make him let go of his grip on you. After a while you successfully broke free. You faced each other and trying to be as firm as you could you told him that you needed to see Jungkook.

« I think you should just go home, Y/N » he said softly at you sadness pooling in his eyes as he looked at your disheveled self. He could see that you were hurting and he knew exactly why.

« Wh-what? » you asked dumbfounded, « Wh-why? »

« Don’t make this harder on yourself, Y/N-ah » he took a step towards you to comfort you but you immediately took a step back, bewildered by his sudden words. « Y/N » he sighed.

« Tae, I need to talk to Jungkook, » you explained, « I need to get to the bottom of this, I-I need answers Tae, I can’t jus- »

« You were just a fling to him, Y/N » He cut you off.

What? you thought to yourself. Your night was beginning to get even worse by the minutes. And your composure was more and more put through the test. You didn’t know how much longer you could take.

« Wh-what? » you croaked.

« Whatever you two had, it wasn’t anything serious to him Y/N, » he explained. He was debating on telling you the whole truth but he knew that you deserved to know everything, no matter how destructive it could be.

« H-he got curious,Y/N » he confessed with a shaky breath, « he wanted to see what it would be like to be with a boy. »

You didn’t say a word. You weren’t even sure how to respond to that. You looked at him, trying to find the hint of a lie in his eyes but you knew Taehyung like the back of your hand and you found none. He was telling you the truth. It was the last straw. Every bit of composure you had vanished and you let yourself cry for real, for the first time that night.

You were practically bawling, having no control over your sobs. You didn’t even care who saw you anymore. You were hurting, you couldn’t take it anymore. All you wanted now was the pain to go away.

So you were just a fling to him? Someone he could use to satisfy his curiosity? So, you really did not mean anything to him beside being a fucking experiment? Tears were now escaping your eyes without an hint of stopping. You had finally reached your limit.

Seeing your tears, Taehyung didn’t hesitate to take you in his arms. Rubbing circles into your back as he shushed your sobs doing his best to comfort you.

« Why didn’t you tell me? » you asked him in disbelief. It dawned on you that Jungkook wasn’t the only one at fault. That your childhood best friend, the one person you trusted the most, actually betrayed you. Betrayed you by hiding such a hurtful truth from you. You pushed him away from you, suddenly not wanting him anywhere near you.

« Wh-what? » it was Taehyung’s turn now to be speechless.

« Why the heck did you thing it was a good idea to hide this from me? » you asked your voice a bit raised, putting aside all the pain you were feeling, anger taking its place. You were angry at Taehyung for hiding something so important but you were more angry at yourself for falling for Jeon Jungkook’s lies. If only he told you this before you got involved with Jungkook, maybe you could have save yourself from this heartbreak.

You knew that it wasn’t fair of you to throw everything at Taehyung. To make him take the blame, but anger overtook you and you needed someone to take the blame for you.

Taehyung looked down in shame, having no real answer. He knew about Jungkook’s real intention since the beginning but the latter had made him promise not to say anything. Being a man of his words he kept his mouth shut. Only to realise now that how much he fucked up, real bad. And that his mistake might cost him one of his closest friend. His best friend.

« I-I promised Jungkook not to say anything, » he admitted though he knew very well it wasn’t going to help his cause.

« So your promise with that bastard was more important than my feelings? » you asked him in disbelief.

« N-no! » he objected, « Of course not! »

« You out of anyone should have been on my side Tae, » you told him defeated, « If you really were a friend you would have told me the moment you knew about it regardless of anything else. »

You were right about everything. He had nothing to respond to you. He was a crappy friend.

You had nothing to say anymore and you had the urge to just get out of there. You were emotionally exhausted and all you wanted was to just go home and forget this night ever happened. Forget everything about you and Jungkook. Forget about your best friend and his betrayal.

To cut everything that hurt so you could move on and get better. Bit by bit.

You turned around to go but Taehyung’s hand on your wrist stopped you before you could even take the first step. You looked at him and saw him in tears.

« I-I ‘m so sorry, Y/N » he sobbed, tears streaming down his face, « I know what I did is unforgivable but please don’t shut me out, » he pleaded. The thing with Taehyung was that he knew better than anyone else. He knew that once you were out of the arena, he would mean nothing to you anymore.

You have had your fair share of betrayals, so much it led you to have trust issues. Trust was something you valued the most in a relationship or a friendship, to break it meant to break any sort of relations this bond you two created. And when that bond is broken, there is no going back. 

Which is exactly what the both of them did tonight. They broke the trust you had in them by lying and deceiving you.

You were done getting hurt by the people you loved most. Out of habit, you were already ready to let them go, if it meant that you could live a healthier life without them. So be it.

No matter how painful it was. You needed to put yourself first.

« It’s a bit too late for that, Tae, » you said softly this time, « I hate to say this but you chose your side the moment you decided to keep your mouth shut. And now I’m making a choice for myself. »

« So I’ll say this once, » you continued, « I don’t want anything to do with you or Jungkook. I’m done getting hurt by the people closest to me. »

With that said you freed your wrist from his hold and walked away.

Without looking back.

« No, » he whispered to himself as you officially walked out of his life.

How does something as innocent as surprising your boyfriend during one of his concert turn into such a heart wrenching evening. 

It’s funny how things never turn out the way you imagined them to.

a/n: I am so sorry for being MIA for the past months guys! I’ve been busy with school and writer’s block wasn’t helping me. but i’m back now and more organised than ever. i tried the whole outlining stuff and it has helped me so much with the writing and the writer’s block. i’m not gonna promise more frequent updates but i’ll try my best not to leave you guys hanging for such a long amount of time! 

anyways here’s a little bit of angst for you all. mind you i’m still a novice writer, so please do tell me what you thought of this scenario/drabble! i am all about improving myself and i can’t do that without your help ;)

until next time!

How King Dice met a human

I hope you don’t mind if I submit a drabble I thought of earlier today, sorry if it’s a bit long!

She haphazardly stumbled through the two doors that led into the dimly lit building, confused, frightened of where she was.  Why did she suddenly awaken in the middle of the woods?  Why did everything just look, feel, so different?

The moment the young woman entered the building, her senses automatically assaulted with a wall of smells, sights, and sounds.  A stage sat in the very back, centered with the entrance, a band played smooth music, the piano and bass notes echoed through her chest.  The bar was large and full of sorts of beings, most notably skeletons, monsterish looking creatures, and clothes-wearing animals.  The thick, almost choking, smell of sweet cigars and of alcohol permeated the entire establishment.  It took a good few moments of eyeing her surroundings before it finally clicked with her wear she was at.  A casino.  Full of inhuman beasts.

The young woman vaguely noted the black spots forming in her vision, and how distant and underwater everything was suddenly sounding.   Her heart beat loud in her ears, and for a second, she could’ve sworn her entire world was tilting. 

This was impossible.  Just five minutes ago she was walking back home from her usual evening walk, the moment she had closed her eyes to enjoy the night breeze, poof!  Here she was.

Maybe she had a stroke and was in a coma.  Or maybe, and worse yet, she was dead and this was some sort of purgatory, or estranged hell.

Just before her brain could completely crash,  two unusually soft, yet firm, hands settled upon her shoulders, keeping upright.  A new smell assaulted her nose, something a lot more calming, but nonetheless strange.  The smokey, sweet, scent of lavender cologne brought her more to her senses as a pale, blocky, face loomed over her. 

Her eyes widened in surprise as she took in the strange, smartly dressed, dice-headed man that towered over her.  His twinkling green eyes and cheshire smile made shivers go down her spine as she took the new sight in. 

“And what’do we have here this fine, fine, afternoon?  Speak up now, don’t be shy, missy.”

If she was in hell, this must be her own personal demon.

“I-I-…” She paused for a second, looking up at the dice-man-thing with wide eyes, her heart beating so loud in her ears, for a second, she thought that maybe he could hear it himself as he looked down at her with those ever so calculating eyes that were much too sharp to mean well.

“Am I dead?  Did I die and somehow end up in hell?”  She deadpanned, shaking off his hands from her shoulders.  Her previous spell of dizziness shifted into something more of fight than flight as she stared straight into his eyes. 

The dice-man’s toothy grin widened impossibly more as he gave a deep, almost barking laugh. 

He ignored her suddenly scowling face as he took in the whole situation.

“Hun, you mean, heh, you jus’ walked up on in here not knowin where you’re at and thought this was hell?  Well, I’d say we do have close connections with ‘em, but this is a casino!” 

He gave into another round of laughter, placing one arm around her shoulders, he not so gently guided her to the bar, whispering something low to the bartender (who happened to be a tall, thin, cocktail), he pulled up a seat from seemingly thin air and forcefully sat her down. 

“Now how ‘bout we talk about you, huh?  I don’ think I’ve ever seen a human around the island before…especially one that thought she was dead and in hell!”

More laughter spilled from him, deep and loud.  The young woman glowered.

“Shut up!  How do I know you’re not just some demon lackey that was assigned to me and you’re just trying to get me to my trust and torture my soul!”  She snapped, getting off the bar stool, she took one angry step forward and poked a finger into his chest. 

“Prove I’m not dead or crazy and maybe we can talk.”

The dice-man’s green eyes seemed to brighten, but whether it was from anger, or amusement, the young woman didn’t want to know.   His grin turned upwards even wider and sharper than she thought possible, and before she could react, he snatched the wrist of her offending hand and grabbed her other hand, pulling her in close enough to where only she could hear him.

“I assure you, missy, you’re not dead, nor are you in hell, but if you speak to me in that tone again and make a scene like that in my casino, I will make sure that you end up there very quickly, and very painfully.”  He growled out, his accent dropping into something more professional, something more sharp.  Dangerous.  

She face paled and her heart thundered even louder in her chest as she stared into those hungry, twisted, eyes. 

Maybe he was right, maybe he was just lying to her, but for whatever reason possessed her, the young woman pulled away from him, sat back on her stool.  She pulled the seat next to her over and patted it with her hand, sighing wearily. 

“Sit down and buy me a drink and maybe we can have a civilized conversation.”  Oh how she could use a drink right that second…

The dice-man’s face flashed with surprise at how suddenly more open she was, but he quickly covered it with another toothy grin.  

“Why, dear, you should know by now that nothin’ in the world is free.  If I buy ya a drink, you’ve gotta play at least one game out in the casino with me, my choice of course.”  

Something in the back of her mind screamed for her to leave, to splash the drink he ordered her into his face, smash the glass, and run.  The dread that accompanied the first sip of bitter bourbon would’ve convinced her to follow her intuition and leave, but Mr. King Dice’s (as she found his name to be) smooth, low, voice somehow convinced her otherwise.  So, she allowed him to lead her around the casino for the rest of the afternoon and into the late evening, sipping from cool glass, trying her best to stuff the deep feeling that something wasn’t right away.

Because in all honesty, this strange man was probably her best bet of getting home.  He talked with her all night, always interested in her every word.  Those green eyes always twinkling, his gloved hands always by her in case she needed assistance.  He seemed genuinely concerned when she tried explaining her situation, and why she had stumbled through the doors of his casino.  He offered that perhaps he could help her, maybe he knew someone who could get her back home, but for a price that he left unnoted, no matter how much she pressed him about it.

At the end of the night, the young woman was thoroughly exhausted, and a little tipsy, as she was gently lead to a back room in the casino by King Dice. 

He mentioned something about her getting rest, and that she could repay her drinks by playing some games tomorrow, but everything seemed too far, too detached for her to completely understand.  

The last thing she could remember before passing out was those two, glowing, jade, eyes, staring with the unholy hunger, that impossibly wide grin that threatened to swallow her whole was the last sight she saw before black overtook everything. 



“Repo! The Genetic Opera” sentence meme

Send one to my muse for their reaction

  • “It’s gonna be a bloodbath.”
  • “Stand up, don’t be shy!”
  • “Let the monster rise.”
  • “I would rather be blind.”
  • “I can’t feel nothing at all.”
  • “He won’t bother to write or to phone you, he’ll just rip the still-beating heart from your chest!”
  • “My legacy is not up to my genes.”
  • “I must be brave.”
  • “I didn’t know I’d love you so much.”
  • “Why are my genetics such a bitch?”
  • “Your designer heart still beats with common blood.”
  • “All I need is surgery.”
  • “Bring it on, you cheap imposter.”
  • “I don’t take lip from a slut.”
  • “I can go out with a bang.”
  • “Industrialisation has crippled the globe.”
  • “Testify!”
  • “Can you come down, please, so we can speak.”
  • “Paint your ass like a Rembrandt! Ha! You like that?”
  • “All you have to do is pull the trigger.”
  • “All you ever told me, every word, is a lie.”
  • “I remember…”
  • “I am the monster.”
  • “Pray he never comes knocking at your door…”
  • “Don’t show your face to me. You’re disgusting.”
  • “My liver was wrecked, but now I can drink whatever I want!”
  • “State your business.”
  • “Flesh is weak. Blood is cheap.”
  • “I will find a hole and fuck it.”
  • “Did you take your medicine?”
  • “What’s this, rat piss?”
  • “You want the world for nothing.”
  • “It could change your life, that’s for sure.”
  • “I’ve always longed for true affection, but you compare me to a corpse.”
  • “So you think you’ve got heart? So you think you’ve got balls?”
  • “State your business. What do you want?”
  • “Accidents don’t end in murder.”
  • “You’ve exceeded all my plans.”
  • “Happiness is not a warm scalpel.”
  • “Thanks for the disease!”
  • “Didn’t I say the world was cruel? Didn’t I?”
  • “I wish we could’ve watched together.”
  • “I just want to get my cure.”
  • “Mark it up!”
  • “Who ordered pizza? I could sure go for a slice!”
  • “I saw you at the show, I thought I’d seen a ghost.”
  • “I am only living out a lie.”
  • “Please, it’s not my place.”
  • “Someone’s gonna hang if I don’t get my coffee!”
  • “In you is a world of promise…”
  • “I’m infected.”
  • “I’ll be the laughing stock of the stage!”
  • “Sometimes I wonder why we all don’t move on.”
  • “Sometimes I wanted to cry when the people on TV were not quite the way we were.”
  • “This makeover came for a small added fee.”
  • “These eyes can do more than see…”
  • “It’s quick, it’s clean, and it’s pure…”
  • “A month later, I was turning tricks.”
  • “I’ll hook you up later. Just help me down.”
  • “I don’t think that I can be fixed.”
  • “It’s a thankless job, but somebody’s got to do it.”
Four skaters from Japan, Rika Hongo, Keiji Tanaka, Satoko Miyahara and Yuzuru Hanyu talked to us about their skating career before the ISU Four Continents Championships 2017.

Q = Interviewer Wei Xiong for ISU
RH = Rika Hongo
KT = Keiji Tanaka
SM= Satoko Miyahara
YH= Yuzuru Hanyu

Q: How did you get into figure skating?

RH: My mother is a figure skating coach. I followed her to work when I was three years old, and I played around the rink. When I was five, I told her that I want to learn figure skating, and that’s how I started.

KT: There was a skating rink near my home, so at the beginning I went there just for fun. It was during my first grade in elementary school. Then I enjoyed it so much that gradually I started to take regular skating classes, and before I realized, I was already a member of the skating club.

SM: I started skating when I was four. I lived in the U.S. for two years and a half when my parents were studying there. There was a skating rink inside a shopping mall, when I went there, I tried to skate for the first time and I really enjoyed it, so I started to skate.

YH: It was my elder sister who started to skate first. At that time I wasn’t particularly into figure skating, but I was just following my sister and skating with her.

Q: When did you decide to dedicate yourself to this sport and be an athlete?

RH: I was inspired by Shizuka Arakawa’s victory at the 2006 Olympics, since then I started to dream about competing at the Olympics, and I started to train hard to be a skater.

After she won the Olympics, there was a parade in her hometown Sendai, and you were the kid who accompanied her in the parade car. Do you still remember that day?

Yes, I remember I was sitting next to her, and I saw the shining gold medal at a close distance. I thought that was so cool and I was inspired.

KT: After I joined the skating club, I think being an athlete just became something very natural to me, and I never thought about quitting because training was tough.

SM: I kept skating and naturally began real training after I came back to Japan. When I was in third grade in elementary school, I competed at my first international competition. Ever since then I realized I would become an athlete.

YH: For me, an athlete equals to an Olympian, an Olympic gold medalist. When I was around five-years-old, I already seriously thought about winning the gold medal at the Olympics. But what made me want the Olympic title strongly was the battle between Yagudin and Plushenko at 2002 Salt Lake City Olympics.

Q: Did you already have the confidence that you were going to be a top skater in the world?

Tanaka: I still don’t think I am competitive on the international stage, but one thing that inspired me was when Yuzuru won the World Junior Championships. He is the same age as me, and the best among us. When he won the junior title, I thought it was really awesome, and I wanted to catch up with him. So I made up my mind and set my goal to be a competitive skater in the world. One year after, I won the silver medal at junior Worlds.

SM: I didn’t think about being a top skater at that time, but I strongly wanted to go to the Olympics.

YH: Yes! I remember I got the second place at my first ever competition since I started to skate, but soon I won my next competition. I was presented a trophy in that competition, and I lifted the trophy over my head, just trying to imitate what Plushenko and Yagudin always did. It was a small trophy like this size (he pointed to his beverage bottle), and I did it like this (he held up the bottle over his head). It was a small, domestic competition, I think I was five years old, or maybe first grade in elementary school.

Q: Being an athlete is tough, but is there anything even tougher that you hadn’t expected or imagined?

RH: All your time is occupied by skating, I train every day, and it is so difficult to find some time just to hang out with your friends. Also, I need to get up early in the morning, that’s also tough.

YH: The risk of injury is high, and there is no guarantee that the harder you train the better you become, so I think that’s really the difficult part. Also, I think this is unique in Japan, but figure skating is so popular here that I cannot go out easily, and there are paparazzi around, so this is something difficult to deal with too.

(Does training in Canada make things easier?)

Yes, I can get more of my own time in Canada.

Q: What’s your favorite element in figure skating and what gives you headache?

RH: I like the jumps the most. Among all types of jumps, I like toe the most, but I am not good at loop.

KT: I like doing footwork, especially when it fits the music, it feels really enjoyable. As for what I am not good at, compared to those best skaters in the world, I have a lot of work to do on my spins.

SM: I like all elements. But I am not good at twizzles, and I wish I could spin faster on flying camel spins.

Q: Could you share with us the stories or inspirations of your programs this season?

RH: My free skate this season is choreographed by Akiko Suzuki. I want to enhance my presentation, and I think I can learn a lot from her. Before she retired, we were skating in the same rink, and I was always amazed and inspired by her. It feels great that I can continue to learn from her now in this way.

KT: It is a new genre of music (“Federico Fellini Medley”) that I’ve never tried before, so it was really difficult at the beginning of the season, I just couldn’t catch the feeling of the program, and couldn’t show the right facial expression. When I made a mistake on the first few jumping passes, it felt very hard to concentrate on presentation, and hence couldn’t put the program together. But at the NHK Trophy, I did well with the first few jumps, so I carried the momentum to the rest of the program, kept the energy and paid attention to facial expressions. I finally felt I was able to perform this program well.

SM: Tom Dickson recommended the “Star Wars” music to me in the middle of last season, and we started to do the choreography right after the season ended. The music is something different from what I’ve skated to before, but I think it is so cool and I like it.

You are always shy off the ice, is it difficult to skate to something so “cool”?

Yes, I really need to pay a lot of attention to the movements and scale when I skate, and give much more strength than before.

YH: The music of my free skate was composed by a Japanese composer, if I go deep into the story behind the music, it was actually the opening song of 1998 Nagano Paralympics. My mom watched the Nagano Olympics and Paralympics, and then she wanted my elder sister to skate, so she took her to skating class. If you think about it, those Olympics were the starting point of my skating life, so I want to use this piece of music. Also, as I mentioned, it was composed by a Japanese composer, so I think I can continue to present something I’ve learned from “SEIMEI”.

The Olympics really is something special for you, isn’t it?

Yes. On one hand, when it comes to competing at a competition, like in Sochi, I treated it as a normal competition; but on the other hand, I am planning and preparing for the next Olympics, so I guess I have a special feeling for it. Of course, I want to win the gold medal again in Pyeongchang.

Your long program is called “Hope and Legacy”, and you talked about how skaters’ performances can remain as a legacy. Which performance of yours do you think is your legacy?

YH: It was my first novice national championships, which I won. I was very happy at that time, not only happy for the win, but also for my score. It was still under the 6.0 system, I watched competitions on TV a lot, so I knew only those very top skaters in the world could get over 5.5 points, but I got 5.2 for my presentation. I was so happy at that time, and my performance at that competition became my motivation of skating, and it still motivates me now.

Q: What’s your equity in Team Japan? For example, are you the one that laughs the most, or talks the most, or are you the one who likes to give advice and take care of rookies, or are you the one that doesn’t talk at all, etc.

RH: There are younger skaters coming up this season, but this is only my third year on the senior circuit and there are more experienced skaters than me, like Asada or Murakami, so I am the one who still tries to learn from the elders during competitions.

KT: I am the shy one and not good at talking. On the contrary, Yuzuru is very outgoing and really talks a lot, sometimes I cannot follow him.

YH: We are all teammates, but at the same time competitors. For example, I am at the same age with Ryuju Hino and Keiji Tanaka who also competed at NHK Trophy, we know each other since we were kids, we are really good friends off the ice, but on the ice, we are competitors.

Q: Yuzuru, Keiji just said you always talk so much that he sometimes cannot follow.

YH: I admit. I really talk a lot, but I am thankful that he is always willing to listen. Just like I said, we knew each other from long ago, so I feel like he can understand me.

Q: How about in the skating club? For Rika and Satoko, there are many younger girls in your rink, do you give them advice?

RH: I talk to them a lot, but we seldom talk about skating.

SM: I often practice with them, and I get stimulation from them, I enjoy skating with them. I don’t always do that, but sometimes I do give them advice. I also have things to learn from them, so I think it is a very good training environment.

Q: What do you like to do off the ice?

RH: I like sleeping and eating. I especially like ice cream, so whenever there is a limited edition or new flavor of ice cream, I will go get it and enjoy.

KT: I like watching movies. Recently I watch a lot of Japanese movies.

SM: I like reading books and sleeping, and I like cooking. I like something sweet, and I like Japanese food. I cook for my family when I have time.

Q: Yuzuru, you are taking university courses via e-school, right?

YH: Yes, but I am too busy training to keep up with my studies. Nevertheless my classes are very interesting. I am majoring in Human Science, it is very broad, and I study a lot about human, about computer science, etc. Recently I am really into Human Bioethics. I’ve thought a lot about “life” in my life so far, and I am also thinking about “life” when I perform “Hope and Legacy”, so studying Human Bioethics helps my skating. Given that I don’t really have much time, I try to take less courses, but study in depth and make every minute out of it count.

Q: One thing I have to ask Keiji, your name “Keiji” (which means “police” in Japanese) is so special. Who gave you the name?

KT: It was my father. He gave me this name because it is very unique, you can’t really find another person with the same name, and he wants me to be a person with strong sense of justice. He didn’t expect me to be a policeman, but I think this is really a good name, and I am glad that people can remember me by this name.


anonymous asked:

What do you think the boys are like? I'm new to army and want to know their individual personalities

So, let’s summarize the boys then! Welcome to the fandom by the way, and also, i’m not an expert, but you can easily get to know them a bit better by watching videos/shows they’ve participated, it’s a great source! I will try to keep this short, lets go. (No, i failed, i couldn’t keep this short, enjoy reading all the little details about members personalities <3)

Jin: he’s the oldest member, his age gap with the youngest member of bangtan (Jungkook) is like 5 years, he’s not an introvert nor an extrovert, it varies, at first glance he looks like a quiet person, but when he’s with the members he’s so playful, and he makes dad jokes all the time hahaha, the king of dad jokes, he’s also a very confident, and has high self esteem! It’s really funny whenever he jokes and laughs at his own jokes (he does that all the time) and also he’s very passionate about cooking and food in general, if you want to get to know him more i recommend you look for his Eat Jin episodes either on youtube or VAPP because he talks about him and all that, it’s really cool, and him being the oldest member makes him have a leader type of temperament. Cares a lot about his members, always wanting to take care of them, he also cooks for them, i feel like he would be such a great father in the future <3.

Yoongi/Suga: so he’s the lethargic one in the group (as he said himself) because he’s always in the mood for sleep or either very quiet (sometimes on his cellphone) but that DOES NOT make him a cold person, he’s far from that (he’s a pisces come on, i am one too, we are soft), he can get easily excited and energetic when he’s either on stage (enjoying himself) or doing something that he’s really passionate about (composing for example), and i do believe we can call him an introvert, he also has a really strong personality, he knows what he likes, does what he wants to do, it’s not like he doesn’t care, but more like if he doesn’t like something, he will not do it, period. But the thing is that, if you listen to his mixtape he released called Agust D, and read the lyrics, you’ll see that he shared a lot of personal experiences and stories with us there, he too is a human, who suffered with depression, and pisces people tend to be closeted and not show their emotions that much, so he was brave enough to share that with us, you can learn a bit more about him reading lyrics of some songs. sometimes pisces have this ‘i don’t care’ attitude, but deep down we have the biggest soft spots for people that we really like, and things that we love to do. Also, he’s definitely very independent. An inspiration.

Namjoon/Rap Monster: our leader, namjoon is a hard to understand person, but once you get to know him, you’re gonna love him. he’s definitely an introvert, he’s the type that enjoys long walks on the beach, or just going to a quiet park with a book to sit down and read, maybe even enjoy the scenery and clear his mind. He tends to overthink most of the time, being the leader, there’s this pressure on him for always having to be perfect and strong for his members, hence why he’s always having those deep philosophical thoughts inside his head all the time, this too because like i mentioned before, he also reads a lot! He’s quiet, emotional, sensitive, analytical and of course a perfectionist, started rapping underground and composing when he was really young, mostly because of all the pressure of high school (he used to be one of the top students, with a high IQ) he decided that the best way to express his feelings was through his lyrics, so he started composing and fell in love, rap is also a way he used to let it all out. He tends to also analyze things too much and is always setting high standards for himself, so definitely like i mentioned before as well, it’s a lot of pressure on him. He loves writing long deep messages for armys, either telling a story that has a deep meaning, or just using metaphors to tell how much he loves and appreciate us. He’s always trying to find a way to improve, and he’s definitely very empathetic, likes to have long deep convos, artistic and very creative. And, by being an introvert like i also mentioned, he tends to go to parks/beaches type of places to be alone, a good way to get away from all the noise of the world, and have some time alone. He’s truly inspirational. And if you ever see some bangtan bombs, you’ll probably notice he’s always on his phone right? He loves writing lyrics and his thoughts! 

Hoseok/J-Hope: ahh he’s a literal sunshine, the most optimistic and charismatic member - Your angel, your hope - he’s also really noisy, and energetic the type that randomly starts dancing and playing music in your room at 3am asking you to join him, but anyway lmfao, he’s always smiling, a cheerful, positive and friendly person. He’s the mood maker of the group, so count on him to cheer up the place anytime. He once mentioned that his stage name (J-hope) fits him very well since he aims to give hope to the members, and to ARMYs as well <3. He can be considered a sanguine, and sanguine people love to create a lively mood (hence why i mentioned he’s the mood maker). And by definition, sanguines are “boisterous, bubbly, chatty, openly emotional, social extroverts.” He’s also not only the dance machine but the aegyo king of the group.

Jimin: so, he’s a really cute and shy person. he’s the tiniest one of the group (comparing to the other members lmfao). but he’s not only abs like most ppl talk/care about, he’s a genuinely nice person, and he’s super empathetic as well, which makes him such a good and caring friend, someone who everyone wants to be friends with. whenever a member is sad/worried or overthinking too much, he’s there to help, sometimes even putting their feelings before his own, that’s how much he cares about his close friends. he’s the type to closet his feelings too, because he always want’s so to show us a good image, wanting to impress and please ppl most of the time, he manages to hide it by smiling and give us the impression he’s shrugging it off, but he usually opens up his playfulness and youthful acts with close friends. he used to be super self conscious about his body, but that has changed as time passed and he matured a lot, he’s now an explosion and a strong person on stage, he has lots of self confidence and he can get kinda selfish when he’s on stage because like i mentioned there’s that whole pressure on him for setting such high standards for himself, and always wanting to please ppl, but he still manages to do it with a giant smile on his face (which is one of the things that can brighten up anyone’s day, his eye smile is the reason why i fell for him). He’s really passionate about anything he does, like dancing for example, and he’s always wanting to improve. I mentioned above, how he can sometimes closet his feelings and it pains me sometimes, because i really wish he wasn’t that scared to maintain such a “manly and strong image”, i really wish he could show us his true emotions more often, like when he does logs and talks to us about how he’s feeling, that type of thing, but i noticed that lately he has been doing that, and i’m proud of him. And, he’s such a sweet, caring, naive and lovely person, protect him at all costs. His smile is beautiful and can cheer up anyone, his eye smile is so pretty it can make flowers bloom.

Taehyung/V: so this kid has a really quirky personality, he’s such an interesting, eccentric and unique person, he can easily create his own monologues while doing laundry, and play two characters at the same time. he’s really funny, naive, down-to-earth and carefree person, he’s kinda like Yoongi, he does whatever he wants to and he doesn’t care about what other ppl think about him (take his fashion sense/style for example, he loves huge tshirts, he even used to cut it himself, and make giant holes on it haha, truly a king of DIY). he has such a deep and beautiful voice, and has also a very model-like proportioned body. He’s a really cool guy who everyone would want be friends with, he’s all bubbly and energetic like Hoseok. If he’s happy or in a good mood, you’ll see it, because he can get hyper really easily, but when he’s tired he can get quiet easily. He’s open and expressive of his feelings. Nevertheless, he’s the one who’s more attached to his family, whenever he has the chance to mention his parents and/or grandparents, he does it, either to thank them, or to say how much he loves and cherish them, he has younger siblings and he loves childrena so much! i feel like he would be the greatest father in the future! He’s an animal lover too <3. And last but not least, an extrovert, the type that get along really well with anyone.

Jungkook: last but not least, our famous golden maknae, the youngest one in the group! when he first joined bighit, he used to be very shy, during trainee days and even when they debuted, during their first years, that hasn’t changed much, except the fact that he grew up now, and he too has a quirky and interesting personality, and he feels more relaxed and comfortable around bangtan members. The type of boy that, would rather stay home making his covers for example, playing video games (he loves overwatch btw) or watching a movie, reading comics and such, than going out. I see him as an introvert guy, he opens up his playfulness and youthful acts to his close friends and bangtan members only, and he’s kind of private about his own personal feelings too, only a few selected ppl would know about it. He’s not called the golden maknae for nothing, this nickname carries a bigger meaning, altho hes the youngest one in the group he’s such a talented boy, like anything he does he’s good at, it either being dancing or singing, even shooting an arrow, he’s good at anything <3. He can be quiet and reserved sometimes too, even when he’s in public with bangtan members, seems like he prefers to listen and observe them rather than talking, but when he does he can speak very well, despite being young, he a very wise and smart boy. And, aside from being reserved and calm outside, he’s an actual walking and living meme, anything he does becomes a meme easily, kidding (no it’s real, he’s an actual meme), but like, despite that he seems to be a really carefree person, like someone who’s not too sensitive about some things, he’s amazing.

razbliuto - Suga (Spring Day series)

Originally posted by tahyns

(n.) the sentimental feeling you have about someone you once loved but no longer do

“Jiyoo! Jiyoo! Jiyoo!”

The lights of the arena dimmed as the crowd went wild. Screams from thousands of fans filled the hollowed hall and Yoongi couldn’t keep the small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as pride flared in his chest.

Wong Jiyoo, Korea’s top Hip Hop slash R&B artist, graced the stage for his opening number—official opening his first solo tour.

Yoongi crossed his arms as he watched from the third floor of the dome, nodding his head to the beats he produced himself. Jiyoo oozed with charisma as he worked the stage, making the dome come alive with his voice.

Yoongi smiled, remembering how it felt to have the crowds at the edge of their seats—their collective voices singing every word to their songs that it felt like the world was at the palm of his hands. 

It’s been years since he debuted as a rapper in the popular idol group, BTS. They were considered legends in the K pop scene; known to have broken countless records from the time of their reign. 

But fame never did last forever.

Yoongi knew that. But he was glad they remained in their youth and continued to do what they’re passionate about even after their idol group years. He was also thankful at how their beloved ARMY’s grew with them…stayed with them even through their solo endeavors.

Taehyung and Jin dived into modelling and acting, and were now considered some of the best in the industry; being offered lead roles in dramas and movies from various producers. Hoseok and Jimin became kings of variety shows, bringing joy and laughter to the television scene. Hoseok also became a well-known choreographer and was in demand by several entertainment companies while Jimin went on to becoming Korea’s sweetheart by being the top idol most loved by brands. Yoongi saw his face on everything now and it was unnerving, as he would always joke with him.

Namjoon and Jungkook continued to do music and became icons in the entertainment industry with their versatility and charisma. Namjoon went abroad and released an America album which shot to the charts and got nominated for a Grammy. Jungkook became the most well-known face in the industry and was loved by many. Yoongi couldn’t help but feel proud, considering their maknae managed to achieve his dream of becoming not only a great singer who would be remembered, but a great artist overall. He was the current face for Korea’s tourism board and the boys always teased him about it whenever they went on trips and would see Kookie’s face on huge billboards at the airport. 

And then there’s Yoongi who went on to become what he knew from the very beginning he was meant to be: a producer and owner of his own label. He didn’t only want to continue making music but he also wanted to make young people’s dreams become a reality the way Bang Si-hyuk did to him many years ago.  

Wong Jiyoo was Yoongi’s second artist and his most successful yet.

Yoongi averted his eyes from the stage to survey the crowds and was amazed by their reaction. Light sticks lit the sold-out arena like stars and he could see the elated expressions on each and every one of their faces.

Even if he wasn’t the one performing on stage, Yoongi still felt the same rush as his latest-produced song played through the large speakers, accompanied by Jiyoo’s vocals. 

He scanned the crowd and found legions of fangirls with their banners, light sticks, and other merchandise with Jiyoo’s name or face plastered on them.

Yoongi was shaking his head, amused by a banner that was asking Jiyoo to marry her when something caught his eye, causing his smile to falter.

Keep reading

5 More Things That Never Happened to Stephanie Brown

Part two of 5 things that never happened to Stephanie.

1. The Even Number Robins
When the doors of her cell blow down and a guy in a red helmet comes in guns blaring, mouth swearing, the first thought that pops up in Steph’s mind isn’t cool entrance or even damn, this guy’s ripped.

She’s not thinking any coherent thought actually, just that she’s never coming back to Japan.

But those thoughts kind of disappeared when the guy stepped in front of her and snorts, “Who the fuck are you?”

And so, the even numbered screw up robins meet.

Her last regret before she dies is that she’s eaten less than a thousand waffles her entire life.

She likes to think she snorts back something smart but to be honest, she’s a little out of it so maybe her account is a little skewed up.

But the basics are there and that’s what matters.

Then he takes her somewhere and gets her healed and tells her to enjoy the couch, he’s taking the bed.

Who says chivalry is dead?

And years later, when she’s calling him, warbling a heeeeeey Jacion and he’s picking up with a sigh and a grunt and plea to have her extracted from his life, she knows that they’ve really formed a bond.

2. Harmony
Stephanie remembers when she had a voice.

When she would skip around and laugh and joke and words would fall from her lips like water drops and all gone all gone.

Stephanie remembers when her father took them all away.

Stephanie remembers the fear, Stephanie remembers the smell of beer, Stephanie remembers the jeers.

Stephanie remembers when she had harmony.

Stephanie remembers mute mute mute.

Stephanie remembers ugly and clashing and anger and warring emotions and then.

Stephanie remembers the blue eyed boy who brought so much light into her life, who made her smile like no other, who helped her find harmony again.

When Stephanie finally steps up onto the stage to play her piano piece, her eyes only see Tim.

And when she allows her fingers to gently rest upon the keys and create a flowing melody, she remembers Tim gently encouraging her to keep playing.

When she’s done and breathing heavily and smiling with absolute delight and applause is ringing all around her–

She only sees Tim.

(Years late she’ll sit him down and start playing, placing all her emotions into the song until Tim hugs her and repeats her message back to her ten times over and she leans up and he leans down and she learns another form of harmony.


3. Beware the Spoiler
Batgirl was hers. But with her legs out of commission, Batgirl is a distant spot in the horizon.

It’s time to move on. It’s time for a new name.

She’s always liked Spoiler.

Years later when she’s ruthlessly hacking into Jason’s phone and Tim’s games and Dick’s laptop and Lex Luthor’s company, she gets a grim feel of delight as countless of people are stumped by the Spoiler.

4. Meet the Family
“Are you nervous?” Tim asks her gently, as he guided her up the stairs.

“I’m about to meet my boyfriend’s family, who just happen to be one of the richest families in the world, and could buy my family without blinking an eye. No. I am not nervous. In fact, I am the epitome of not nervous,” Steph rambled, apprehensive. She knew she shouldn’t have gone for the shy boy sitting in the corner, reading.

Tim just laughs and guides her gently in and she pretends that she’s not clinging onto Tim’s hand like a lifeline.

Years later, when she screaming after Damian and chasing after Jason to get her phone back, she wonders how she could have ever been scared of them.

(And when Tim finally kneels on one knee and pulls out a ring, the only answer bursting from her lips is yes yes always.)

5. Hope Shines Bright
Stephanie Brown is a dignified ambassador of the Blue Lantern Corp. She does not get angry with a little upstart named Damian makes fun of her chest, she does not throw a car at Sinestro Corp Bruce when he angers her, and her heart does not skip a beat when Green Lantern Tim Drake smiles at her.

(But damn his eyes are so blue and his muscles are just-)

She does not blush when Tim presents her with a flower, she does not get distracted by his mouth when he’s talking, and she does not feel warm inside when he wraps her up in his arms after pulling her out of the way from a life threatening hit.

She does not feel ecstatic when she and Tim are partnered up, her heart does not speed up whenever he tenderly dresses her wounds, she does not feel warm fuzzies remembering that she makes him stronger.

Stephanie is in denial and very much in love.

Let’s analyse : That’s Not How the Story Goes

As the Hideous Hiatus looms above us, let’s take a look at the parting song of A Series of Unfortunate Events.

It is now well known that this story tends to expose the “behind the scenes”, hence theatricality being a core aspect of the whole series, especially through the character of Olaf. He may be a very bad actor but he still is an actor. The TV show really captures and enhances this feature, take for example the song It’s the Count or all for Olaf’s disguises.
The links with drama and theater are numerous : Beatrice is said to have been an actress, Lemony a theater critic and at the end of the show, a long zooming in shot really emphasized the appearance of Lemony and Olaf on the photo of the drama club.
This theatrical feature resonates with the choice to end the season on a song : it is like the whole cast is back on the stage to perform the finale, as if they were addressing a moral just like in plays or operas. The chorus really has this “moral” feature : That’s not how the story goes,  which is enhanced by the change at the end That’s just how the story goes. The fact that they sing it together makes it very communicative, like a melody you would repeat after them. And this purpose is well achieved since a lot of people probably still have this song stuck in their heads.

The lyrics themselves follow the theatrical logic as illustrated by this central line : The curtain rings down on the stage.
Indeed, the play, or rather this act, is over. The symbolism of the curtain ringing down is conveyed through the eye closing at the end of each episode. Here again, the link between eye and theater is very strong. The viewer really is put in the position of the spectator. Lemony’s and Olaf’s asides follow this idea too.

And indeed this song is primarly addressed to the viewer. The construction of the lyrics involves the viewer : You may think that the Baudelaires ought to prevail etc.

All the propositions involving the viewer are made on the same principle : the happy ending the viewer would like for the characters VS the reality of the bad ending :

You may think that three children would live pleasant lives but that’s not how the story goes.

The conjunction “but”, which is everywhere in the song, always is the word of rupture and an open door for tragedy. If we make a parallel with drama, a tragedy, particularly the ones ancient Greeks wrote, is a play where the audience is aware since the beginning that the story will not go well and that everything is already written. As I mentionned in my previous post, since Lemony tells us this story, it has already reached its conclusion when we hear it. The idea of the story following its way without anything that can be done to stop it is transparent with the chorus :

That’s not how the story goes

The story cannot move away from its path no matter how much the characters and the viewer would like it.

The entire song is a very good summary of the show’s themes : Sorrows and woes / Gloom and despair. But also humor thanks to Mr. Poe. The chorus’s shift from That’s not how the story goes to That’s just how the story goes conveys the whole symbolization of the show through the ending song. It is also interesting to see that unfortunate events not only happen to the good characters but also to the villains, think about Dr. Orwell’s fate.

The looming presence of tragic and inevitable fate is underlined by the symbolism of the place where they are : the Austere Academy, which is shaped just like a graveyard but is also revealed to be the place where Olaf and Lemony studied together so in a way, where it all begun.

This song is a moment of suspension which summarizes all the characters and their role. What they sing is strongly linked to who they are.
Lemony starts the song because he is our guide. His towering posture mirrors his role as narrator : a narrator lays out a story in front of your eyes. Since he also is a character, he is affected by the tragic tone of the whole song :
I once loved a girl and she thought well of me, we thought we’d be happy together but now I’m alone as you can well see and she’s cold in her grave forever.
His intervention is constructed in the same manner as the ones concerning the Baudelaires : two propositions cut down by the “but”. Even our narrator has a unfortunate backstory which is the motive for his story telling in the first place.

The Baudelaire children have a very specific way of singing. They have a rather neutral face and this echoes the fact that they endure the events without a real possibility of fighting back. They look resigned in front of all the bad things that keep happening to them. Their position is similar to tragic heroes harassed by Fate. They were named Baudelaire after the French poet Charles Baudelaire, a major representative of the « poètes maudits » (cursed poets), appeared in the 19th century. A poète maudit usually feels resent towards society because it doesn’t accept him for who he is, which leads to a tragic life. The theme of sorrows and woes is linked to this aesthetic. As if they were led by their name, the Baudelaires cannot escape their tragic fate.

Poe’s appearance in the song also mirrors his role. He is the bearer of ill news, his name being linked to the raven : “I’m sad to say I have bad news for you, the curtain rings down on the stage.”
This line is a reference to his first appearance but also indicates to the viewer the bad news of them : season one ends now.
As a character, Poe always listens to the song of despair and stays perfectly oblivious to it. He listens to this song on the radio and just sings along, like an outsider, much like in the actual story. He is not mainly concerned by it. Poe is a comic character and he is here to counterbalanced the tragic with humor : But to me there’s nothing but gloom and despair !
It allows the viewer to be relieved of the tragic tension.

Finally, Olaf’s depiction in the song is quite paradoxical. He appears in a dressing-room which is literally the place where an actor goes from themselves to a character and vice versa. Thus, Olaf is « in-between » : the large shot allows you to see his wigs and costumes around him.

At this moment, he is not playing a character, not even his Count Olaf character. Olaf is aware of the eyes of other characters constantly being on him when we see him on screen so he plays his “Count Olaf” part. But here, we see him in a slightly different position, it is as if he was almost vulnerable. This song made Olaf’s personnality even more interesting. Since he is « himself », he reveals yet another side of his psyche. In the second shot in which we see him, we actually see his reflection in the mirror.

Olaf sings to his reflection which symbolises the way he sees himself. The staging on these shots is very reminescent of a theatrical soliloquy, the villain pondering on himself. (I am strongly thinking of Richard III’s soliloquies here).

Pay attention to the lyrics he sings : he is the one to first introduce the chorus and all its tragic impact. Now you may think that they chose these words for him because after all he is the villain and responsible for all the sorrows and woes the Baudelaires have gone through and will encounter. It is of course the first meaning. But if you listen closely to the way he sings, you hear a very melancholic voice. And the sentence the world is a pair of ill-fitting pants and other dire hideous clothes highlights a particularly salty vision of life. This casts a very different light on this character : he also is a tragic character. The climax of this idea is reached with this line : Some people laugh I suppose.
If there is a character who could laugh because of the mess he makes, it’s him. But here he clearly states that he is not part of “some people”. If he cannot laugh, it means he leans towards tragedy. It is not rare that the characters who make you laugh - in ASOUE, Olaf being so theatrical - are actually the most tragic ones. Olaf has a tragic side because he never gets want his wants, his plans to steal the Baudelaires’ fortune always fail. Beyond that, he has an entire backstory full of unfortunate events. The book readers may remember a very particular scene towards the end of the series where the Baudelaires understand all the tragedy behind Olaf. If you cannot wait for season two, you might want to read the whole book series to know more ! It is a clever thing that they already introduce this side of Olaf early on in the TV adaptation.

Overall, this song delivers a bittersweet ending, especially because of the  melancholic melody highlighted by the humming and whistling at the end. The all tone may be very tragic but hope shines too :
“Some people smile at the end of the day !”, Lemony sings.

And if “there’s no happy ending not here and not now, there may be later.

Don’t be shy and come ask me if you have questions !