the only good use of this photo of me needing to pee

My Reputation Secret Session Experience

(an abbreviated version to keep confidentiality)

I got a DM from Taylor Nation before the London SS had happened, so I honestly had no idea what the “secret event” was. They called me and said the event was in Rhode Island, and I mean the only thing there is her house but I didn’t know what the event entailed. Knowing Taylor, I was like she’s gonna make it so fun and so detailed and so personal whatever it is.

I was not able to focus on anything for two weeks because I was just thinking about taylor and rhode island. I took a train from NYC to Rhode Island the night before. Wednesday October 18, 2017 was such a GORGEOUS day. The water was SO BLUE. THE SUN WAS SHINING. and there was a helicopter hovering in front of taylor’s house which annoyed me but yeah I’ll try to get over that.
Fast forward to being at her house. First of all, her security detail is hilarious. They are so nice and funny and were cracking jokes the whole time. The very first person I talked to was none other than Scott Swift, the man the legend, wearing a striped sweater only a dad would buy and his pockets overflowing with 1989 guitar picks. I spent a good chunk of time chatting with him on the deck he’s amazing—we stan forever.
Also I legit hung out and excitedly mingled in Taylor’s kitchen so long that I forgot it wasn’t normal to be in her kitchen. There was a huge spread of Chick-fil-a nuggets, pizza, chips, custom Rep cookies and M&Ms, Smart Water and Diet Coke.
*side note i’m a vegetarian but if taylor would have offered me a nugget i would have forgotten my vow against meat*
I was so comfortable and having so much fun that it just felt like I was at my friend’s house party, which I was. But then like every 30 minutes it would hit me that to the outside world, she was THE Taylor Swift, and I was in her kitchen…
Fast forward to Andrea coming down to also hang out and mingle with us. She smelled amazing (so did the entire house). She came up to me and Sol and said hello with a huge smile on her face and then pulled us both into a tight hug at the same time and said “YOU BEAUTIFUL SOULS.” and honestly I just wanted to hug her ten more times and be like THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE MADAM PRESIDENT.
Side note, the kitchen has adorable childhood pictures of Taylor and Austin and pictures of the family on the beach and its all v cute.
Also I saw the mermaid, I MEAN THE MERMAID that taylor and selena posed by and i was like wow this iconic.
ALSO as many of you know i’m not only a taylor stan, but a huge todrick stan, and i have been for years. so i died a little when i realized that i was leaning against the same kitchen counter that they were sitting on during thanksgiving and i was like wow its cool i’m fine we’re fine EVERYTHING IS FINE.
Fast forward to Austin also coming downstairs to mingle. He’s adorable and I love him. I didn’t get to chat with him bc it was kind of crowded but he was smiling and laughing and looked genuinely happy to be there.
Tree was also floating around the kitchen here and there and let me just say she’s GORGEOUS. (also she was the MVP later when I needed to pee)
Okay fast forward some more and it’s time to move into the living room. There are cushions on the floor and I’m sitting with all of my friends, including several of us who are from NYC. There are people setting the room and Andrea, Scott and Austin just look so excited that we’re there and that made me so happy.
After what felt like centuries of people opening doors, stomping upstairs and shutting the curtains, it was time for the queen to make her entrance.
The door to my right flew open and that tall drink of water in black thigh high boots and blonde curls and a huge smile entered the room and collectively we all made noises that probably sounded non-human.
She said “Hi, I’m Taylor” as she sat down in this throne of a chair and crossed her legs that are collectively longer than the great wall of china.
She said “you’ve done your detective work right (my detectivey heart fell out of my detectivey ass) and you are at the Reputation Secret Sessions

**and that’s where the cone of silence comes on and what happened for the next several hours at the secret sessions STAYS at the secret sessions.**

So after I DIED because she obviously played us every track of the album. It was time for picturesssss.
As I walked in to see Taylor, I didn’t even make it to her yet before she strutted toward me and scooped me into a hug so tight that I said “hey i’m kelsea” into her hair ;askdjflskfj
She pulled away and was like “yeah I know, and you spell it S-E-A right?” AND LEMME TELL YOU i’ve gone my entire 24 years of life with my name spelled wrong, even people I’ve known for years will spell it Kelsey. and I replied to Taylor, “UM YEAH” and she got so excited she fist pumped and then put her hand up for a high five and we literally had the most epic high five of my entire life I’m pretty sure they heard it in Australia. ok.
At this point Sol walked in and I introduced her to Taylor too. She loved Sol so much. so so much.
Then I asked Taylor if she found me on Tumblr or Twitter, and she immediately replied “Tumblr” with a nod. and then she goes “I KNOW you love TODRICK, and I LOVE that.”  and I’m pretty sure that was the moment my brain short-circuited.

and i was like “OKAY well TN contacted me via Twitter and I was real confused because my handle is  @ toddyownsmyass” and her face lit up, her mouth dropped open, she grabbed my hand and laughed and said “OH MY GOD HAHAHHA”. 

Next I told her about our annual NYC July 9th party. I was like listen taylor, the entire reason i met sol is because we’re tumblr friends and we have this party every year at sofia’s apt in the upper west side where we stay up until 1:58 AM listening to Last Kiss and then she was like “AWWWW” and I remember her face just looking at the two of us in pure amazement.
OKAY now it was time for pictures and Taylor was like “we’re gonna take a group shot first and then we’ll do individuals ok?” and during our group photo she hugged both me and Sol so tightly. 

She looks at me and I put my hands together and I’m like “Okay, I want to recreate a photo you and todrick did on the couch” and she got so excited she was like “GREAT but I’m not doing the splits again” as she walks over to this gorgeous white couch. and i was like “nah girl i CANT do the splits, i wanna do that back to back one” and she was so invested it was adorable. It took us a few minutes of sitting back to back and discussing our knee placement, our hand placement, and both of us kept turning and looking over our shoulders to make sure we were matching and coordinating our bodies right. and then right before the picture taylor goes “what should we do with this hand? oh i know lets hold hands” and she grabbed my hand and held it so tightly. i’m pretty sure you can see in my facial expression how much that meant to me—i’m BEAMING. out of all forms of social interaction, hand holding is one of the most intimate,it’s not something we do with very many people if you really think about it.
after the picture is taken, we are still sitting back to back on the couch, holding hands, and she turns to look at me and goes “that’s the cutest pose i’ve ever done” and i’m all “Awwww thanks!” thinking she’s just being a sweetheart. and then her expression is happy but a little more serious, and she goes “No, I’m being serious, like I’ve never done anything cuter.” and ladies that’s probably the moment I was like “HI I’M KELSEA AND I WELCOME DEATH WITH OPEN ARMS”.
It was going to be time to leave because we had already taken our pictures but Taylor grabbed me and Sol again and squeezed us and gushed “you little FLOWER buttons” and at the time my brain was like ???? I thought maybe she was going to say we were flowers, and then halfway through changed her mind to buttons…well ANYWAYS she reblogged that photo of us later and clarified that she believes sol and i embody the aesthetic of tiny adorable little flower-shaped buttons and now i will no longer look at flowers nor buttons the same way and Sol and I text each other randomly “FLOWER BUTTONS” just to make each other cry it’s great. okay moving on…
It was time to leave and right before i walked away, I yelled to her “TAYLOR, YOU’RE INVITED TO OUR JULY 9TH PARTY ANYTIME, UPPER WEST SIDE, NYC, SEE YOU THERE!” and i did some mix between dabbing and pointing that can only be attributed to all of the time i spent in college with frat boys. and with this big grin on her face she yelled back “THANKS! LOVE YOU GUYS!”
and i stumbled out of the room to pick up the Reputation merch bag Taylor gave all of us (GET YOU A WOMAN).
As her security guard let us into a van to be taken back to our car, I asked what time it was and it was so late Sofia and I had missed our train back to Manhattan. We didn’t care. We were stranded in Rhode Island but WHO CARES BC TAYLOR SWIFT LOVES US.
Ali from TN was like, “you guys have friends at your hotel right? like you have somewhere to go?” so sweet i love ali– we stan her forever.
Sofia and I went back to our hotel, which we had already checked out of mind you, and sat in the hallway, dazed and happy, from 2-4am. Sofia posted a photo of us on tumblr and taylor liked it and i was like wow taylor knows we’re stranded that’s hilarious i bet she’s laughing. We ended up calling a car service to pick us up in rhode island AND DRIVE US BACK TO NEW YORK CITY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. I got back to my apt on the upper east side at 5am and took a nap and then got up for work and tried to be an adult but it was a very sad attempt.
This is a very abbreviated account of what happened that fateful day Taylor welcomed me into her home for 8+ hours. A lot of it has to stay secret and confidential until the album comes out on Nov 10. Even more of it will likely never leave the walls of that gorgeous house by the sea. I will cherish these memories always and I know I am forever changed as a person from the Reputation Secret Sessions.

Thank you @taylorswift for EVERYTHING. I’m so proud to call you a friend.

He’s a good boy.

They don’t make a big deal out of bringing Chase home. It doesn’t sit too well with Kent, as one of the sports world’s biggest animal lovers. But he knows how the general public reacts to something like this, and he needs some time to get adjusted before having to answer questions about his new service dog.

Keep reading


Originally posted by hovseofcards

A/N: Based off Kendrick Lamar’s song 

     You couldn’t stop the grin from spreading across your face at how much Calum was looking at you. His own cheeks were burning at how much he was smiling. Neither one of you talked the only sound present in your home was the radio playing some old school songs from the 90s. Your head tilted to the side as you tried to keep up with the gaze he was giving you. You felt a mixture of both awkwardness and comfortableness. Calum had never looked at you in this way before and for some reason you began to laugh which only made Calum smile even more. His eyes crinkled at the sides as he began to laugh along with you and soon your hid your face into the pillows. “Stop!” you whined, peeking out to look at him once more. 

“I’m not doing anything,” Calum giggled, hands reaching up to touch at his cheeks. They were hot and he felt his heart pounding hard against his chest. You shook your head at his words and your laughter began to subside. “You’re staring,” Calum commented, teeth sinking into his bottom lip. Your face fell back into the pillow and you let out a low whine.

“That’s because you’re staring,” you said, words being muffled by the fabric. Calum laughed and his eyes began to scan around your room. He had been in your home a few times since the two of you started dating, but Calum had never taken in what was exactly in your room. Usually the two of you were busy trying to take each other’s clothes off so he never paid that much attention that is until now. Silence fell between the two of you as he glanced around with a smile. Your walls covered in various posters of your favorite artists. There was one particular spot that was just pictures of your friends and family the words “love like there’s no tomorrow” painted above the section. Across from your bed was your desk that held a lamp, your laptop, some Funko Pop of your favorite characters, and school books. It was only then that Calum realized that was the only space in your room that was dirty. Everything else was cleaned up. Dirty clothes resting in a purple hamper, your beige colored carpet vacuumed and everything placed neatly in their spots. You could tell a lot about someone just from their room and Calum was starting to find out more about you now than the time you two had spent with one another. Your head had lifted and you looked over at Calum to watch him as he looked around at your room.

“What’s in there?” Calum questioned pointing towards a drawer that appeared to be locked up. Your eyebrows rose at his question and you looked at the drawer with wide eyes. Calum smirked at the reaction he had received and now he really wanted to know what that drawer held.

“Just some stuff,” you muttered starting to fiddle with the strings of your blanket. Calum was quick to get off the bed “No don’t open that!” you yelled out, scrambling off the bed. Somehow you reached the drawer before Calum could and blocked his path. His mouth parted in surprise, but the expression soon turned to a sly grin. 

“Oh you’re being secretive now,” he said, faking as if he was going to reach around you and grab at the drawer. You dodged his movements quick, but Calum was faster. His muscular arm circled around your waist and as if you weighed nothing he was able to move you out the way with just that one arm. You wiggled about in his arms and he reached out to swipe the key from off your desk and open up the drawer. Once it was open Calum’s grip on you released and he started to blush at what was inside. “Shit s-sorry…I really wasn’t expecting that,” he chuckled, scratching at the back of his neck in embarrassment. You began to laugh at his reaction and grabbed the key from his hands. “When’s the last time you used those?” he smirked making you roll your eyes at his question.

“Maybe a week ago,” you thought, locking the drawer back up to hide away your toys. You roommates were nosy, so that was one thing you had to keep locked away so they couldn’t find it. 

“A week ago? You have me you don’t need those,” Calum joked in a cocky way. You looked at him unimpressed and your hand rested at your hips as you said:

“What makes you think you’re that good?” 

“Ouch,” Calum winced, hand pressing at his chest as if you had broken his heart. You smirked and Calum looked at your with a smile. “That was cold, Y/N,” he said making you laugh. “But I’m going to forgive you because you’re cute,” he told you, grabbing at your wrist to pull you back towards your bed. You plopped down on the mattress and scooted back until you were rested against the pillows. Curiously, you watched as Calum laid down between your legs his head resting just below your breasts. Calum felt warm. The heat radiating off of him made you comfortable and one of his hands reached out to rest at your ankle. His thumb brushing over your soft skin. Calum’s attention went down to his phone and you suddenly started to feel guilty for bruising his ego. 

“Hey,” you softly said, fingers playing in his hair. Calum’s eyes fluttered at the feeling and his head turned to the side to give you a pouty look. “I was only kidding you know that right?” you question, nails lightly scratching at his scalp. You didn’t want Calum to assume that the sex you two had was inadequate. It was far from that. 

“I know,” Calum mumbled, a small moan of comfort leaving his lips as you continued to play in his head. You smiled at his response and relaxed in your spot. Your other hand came up to play with his hair also and you could feel the weight of his body relax into you some more. Calum loved when you played in his hair. His mouth opened wide as a yawn slipped pass and soon his actions of massaging your leg ceased. Calum’s eyes started to flutter and his breath evened out when you scratched at his scalp once again. Before Calum knew it he was knocked out asleep between your legs. You found yourself smiling at what had just happened. Calum had never fallen asleep when you played in his hair. Usually he’d drift off but would always end up perking back up and wanting to talk or go out to do something. It was almost like he was comfortable enough to fall asleep around you now. Your eyes soaked in the boy laying on you. Taking in every eyelash he had which dusted the top of his cheeks. Milking in the curves of his lips and how it slightly parted when he slept. How his chest rose up and down at a steady pace. One of your hands removed from his head to rest at his chest. His heart beating at a steady rhythm also. Calum was absolutely beautiful and you wondered just exactly how the two of you crossed paths. You had never felt like this with anyone else. The fact that Calum was sleeping right now, a time where he was most vulnerable made you realized you wanted this forever. You wanted him. It didn’t take long for you to end up falling asleep. Both your limbs intertwining with one another as you slept.

     It was the sound of rain that had woken Calum up. A gasped sound left his lips as he sucked in a breath of air. Head lifting up to glance around the room in confusion as he wiped the slob from off his cheek. Calum couldn’t figure out exactly when he had fallen asleep, but he felt well rested enough to realize it was the best nap he’d ever taken. Your room was dark a blue hue coating the walls from the light that was outside. The last time Calum looked out the window it was a bright and sunny sky. Now it was gloomy and pouring rain. It didn’t bother him. The rain had always had a calming effect on Calum. The sounds of light snoring brought Calum’s attention towards you. You looked peaceful and he didn’t want to wake you at all. Calum’s hand reached out to brush back your hair and he leaned down to send a small kiss to your lips. You stirred at the action and shifted under him so that you were laying on your side instead of your back. Calum smiled and slowly slid out the bed. He had to pee badly and as much as he wanted to cuddle with you, his bladder needed to be emptied the most. Calum looked back at you one more time before leaving your room. Outside of it he almost felt as if he was intruding. Your roommate’s bedroom doors were closed and Calum could hear laughter come from the living room as he walked passed the entrance and towards the bathroom. He had met your roommates a handful of times, but you were always around. Without you being by his side Calum wasn’t sure how he’d feel talking to them now. 

Calum was confused on how you could sleep this long. He had tried to preoccupy himself while you slept. Browsing on his phone, playing on your laptop, looking around at your photos, anything to keep his mind busy. It had gotten to the point where Calum actually ended up finishing off his homework; the main thing you two were suppose to do while he was visiting you. Neither of you could concentrate when you were around each other. Finally it was Calum’s hunger that had made him wake you up. The feeling of him climbing back on your bed made you stir in your sleep and soon his fingers were trailing over your skin in an attempt to wake you up as nicely as possible. “Y/N,” Calum whispered, head dipping down to send a peck to your collarbone. “Wake up,” Calum whined, pinching at your side trying to elicit a response from you. You let out a small whine at his words and Calum kissed at the side of your neck this time. “I’m hungry…I know you’re hungry too,” he said, softly nibbling at your skin. A small smile made it way onto your face at the feeling and your eyes fluttered open when he laid down and placed all his weight on your body. 

“You’re heavy!” you exclaimed in laughter trying to push him off of you. Calum laughed, his body vibrating on top of yours. The sound was loud since his face was rested in the crook of your neck. Calum slid half of his body off of yours and then looked at you with a smile. “You’re such a dork,” you mumbled, poking at his nose. 

“Did you enjoy your nap?” he questioned, nudging his nose into your cheek. 

“I was until you disturbed it,” you pouted. Calum mimicked your expression and he nudged his nose against yours.

“Mhm I’m sorry,” he said, running the tip of his nose down the bridge of yours. Your head lifted in a request for a kiss and Calum complied. His lips coming down against yours in a sweet yet passionate kiss. “Does that make up for it?” he whispered giving you another kiss. You nodded at his question and let out a deep sigh. It was one of content and comfort. 

“You said you were hungry,” you mumbled, looking at him with raised eyebrows and wide eyes. Calum nodded at your words and he pointed down at his stomach when it growled once more. You laughed at the sound and then pushed him back so you could sit up. Calum’s back pressed up against the wall. “Well my roommates and I haven’t really made a trip to the store yet, so I guess we’ll have to order takeout,” you told him, stretching in your spot and letting out a loud yawn. Your hands dug under the covers in search of your phone. “What are you in the mood for? Pizza? Chinese?” you mumbled, beginning to scroll through your phone at the contacts. You had ordered takeout a couple of times and had saved the numbers just in case so you wouldn’t have to search for the menu. 

“How about tacos?” Calum suggested, running a hand through his hair. Your gaze landed towards the window as you looked outside. 

“You want to make a taco run in the rain?” you asked in confusion. Calum shrugged in response.

“It’s just water,” he commented, looking back at you with a smile. Your lips pursed as you thought about whether you wanted to get dressed and run out to grab food. “Besides I think a drive would be good for us. Get some fresh air since we’ve been inside all day,” he said. Your eyes squinted at Calum’s words and he nudged his knee against yours in hopes that you’d agree. Calum slid out of your bed and you watched as he slipped on his shoes. He grabbed a sweatshirt that happened to be his from off your floor and toss it towards you. You caught the article of clothing with a pout and reluctantly place it on.

“You’re lucky I’m in the mood for tacos,” you muttered, placing on your shoes. Calum grabbed his car keys from off your desk and his right hand reached out to grab your hand intertwining your fingers together as you both left out. You let out another yawn and rubbed at your eyes. After a small greeting towards your roommates, you and Calum had gotten into his car. It didn’t take long for the two of you to find the nearest Mexican food restaurant and soon you both had ordered your food, and was back in his car eating. Calum turned the volume up on the radio when a certain song came on. You quietly sat in your spot and devoured the tacos. Calum’s eyebrows had furrowed when the heard humming sounds come from you and he watched you eat with a look of amusement. You had felt his stare and looked at him with a mouth full of the food. A bit of tortilla sticking out your mouth as you mumbled “What?” towards him. 

“You’re just so cute,” Calum chuckled, beginning to eat his own food. You slowly chewed and broke the gaze he was holding with you. Your arm came up to wipe some water droplets from off your forehead and you looked at Calum once again. He sent you a closed mouth smile and you returned it. It was cozy inside of his car. The heater on and warming both of you. Calum licked at his lips and he let out a shaky breath before speaking up. “Can I tell you something?” he whispered, grabbing his cup to take a sip of the Horchata. You nodded at his question and Calum sat his taco back into his lap before reaching out to grab your hand that wasn’t holding onto the food. “I think I realized for a while now how much I felt about you,” he started to say. You gave him an innocent look and bit down at your bottom lip to stop yourself from smiling. “You’re so fucking beautiful,” Calum commented, sucking in a deep breath to calm his nerves. It wasn’t until today that he realized something and Calum thought that now was the perfect time for him to say it. “I think I love you,” he admitted, his words coming out in almost a whisper. Calum shook his head and his eyes closed as he thought about it more. “No-I. I know I love you. I love seeing your smile everyday and just being in your presence brightens up my life,” he said in confidence this time. Calum ran a hand through his hair and his eyes flickered towards yours. “This might sound stupid but there was something about today that made me realize I want this-” he gestured between the two of you, “I want to be able to wake up every morning knowing that you’re mine. I want you to know that I want to be yours.” Calum sucked in a deep breath and then nodded. “So there you have it. I love you and there’s nothing in the world that could change that.”

There was a sparkle in your eye at Calum’s words and he felt you squeeze his hand. Your heart swelled with love and you pulled your hand away from his to wipe the corner of your eyes since tears had collected there. “Please say something,” Calum whispered. He felt vulnerable. Laying all his feelings out on the pavement and just showing you his heart in raw form. Your silence was making Calum antsy and he started to wonder if he had said the words too early and had ended up scaring you away. A deep sigh left his lips and Calum shifted in his spot. It was a nervous habit you had noticed Calum had. 

“I love you too,” you said, voice seeming to come out hoarse as if you had been cheering in a crowd. The smile on his face started to grow and Calum’s head turned to look at you once more. 

“You do?” he questioned, earning a vigorous nod from you in return. 

“I do. It wasn’t until you had fallen asleep in my lap that I realized it,” you told him. “You look gorgeous when you’re asleep,” you said. Calum felt his cheeks heat up at your compliment and somehow he had found himself crying too. They were tears of happiness. Calum’s heart pounding hard against his chest in relief. You loved him back. The love circulating around his car was being shared by the both of you. The two of you silently accepting everything the other person had to offer. You were excepting all his flaws, his hardships, and his love. The two of you silently deciding that now was the time where you wanted to go through life together loving one another. Your whole relationship flourishing into something new from here on out. 

“Say it again,” Calum whispered in a plea.

“I love you,” you smiled hearing a moan of comfort leave Calum’s lips. He had never felt happier. Calum leaned over the armrest and pulled you into a passionate kiss. “I love you,” you mumbled against his lips happy to declare it to the world if you needed to.

“I love you,” Calum hummed, resting his forehead against yours and inhaling your scent. After tonight Calum was going to be able to rest easy knowing that you had loved him back. 

strict parents survival guide!!

okay, so i know how y'all feel. if you’re always that one friend that has to cancel every plan just cuz you know ya mom is gonna say no, or you can’t go be out past 7, i gotchu😭i have some of the best tips and shit on how to sneak out, lie, etc if your parents are super controlling.


• twist the knob and pull up on it as hard as you can to minimize the noise it makes

• if you have a creaky door, FIX THAT SHIT BEFORE YOU SNEAK OUT. nothing is worse than it being 11 pm and you’re opening your door and waking everyone up. fixing it during the day is best.
• opening the door fast (but controlled) makes less noise (in some cases. test it out in the morning).

• DO NOT GO THROUGH YOUR MAIN DOOR. it’s really noticeable. if you have a window, take the screen out (you can usually easily pull out the little screws) and go through there. take a back door or go through the yard, whatever it closest to you and not something your parents will wake up to go pee and notice is different.

• leave the door exactly as you found it. if it was cracked, leave it cracked.

• your main goal is to shut them up. you do not want them barking or running around when you’re trying to leave. i have 2 fat ass cats that sleep in my room, and they’re always trying to run out when i open my door, and i live with four dogs. give them treats if you have to keep them quiet.

• avoid them as much as you can. try not to cross their paths, or your cover might be blown.


• wear socks when you sneak out, they help your feet make less noise. i find that crawling on all fours and spreading your body weight on the ground helps.

• if you have hardwood floors, staying on all fours or walking on your toes really slowly helps. even if it takes you all day to make it across the house, at least you’re not making noise 😂😭

• if you know there is creaky stairs/floorboards/etc, avoid them if you can.

• have an excuse if they catch you up. stay in ya pajamas or whatever you were sleeping in. some good ones are -
- getting a drink
- peeing/etc
- needed to grab an extra blanket
- couldn’t sleep

• make sure you have a backup plan in case they force you back to sleep, especially if you don’t usually wake up during the night it might seem suspicious.

• know what time they wake up and be back at least 45 minutes before then. for example, my dad leaves for work every weekday at 5 am, so i’d have to leave on a weekend or be back before 4:30-ish.


• always act natural. if you’re acting weirdly quiet or upbeat or trying to hard, it’s VERY NOTICEABLE that you’re lying.

• make it believable. if you’re not allowed to spend the night at people’s houses, don’t say “i’m going to stacys house for the night” like girl you’re going to get caught tf. if you work, say you have overtime, or if you’re in a sport, say there’s an extra practice.

• be reasonable. if you’re planning on going to ya bfs house all night, don’t just say you’re gonna go eat with your friends 😂

• know ur limits. there’s just sometimes where your lie is unbelievable or times where you just can’t lie your way out of something. stay in these limits.

• have a WHOLE STORY planned out. maybe even 2 or 3 to help out. nothing’s worse than lying to ya mom and then her asking for proof or extra info and you don’t know. if you say you’re gonna be at a friends house, actually go there first. take hella pics in different outfits for whenever you need them and send them to her. hell, my mom made me send pics of my friends cat for proof before 💀

• if you get caught, i feel you girl. just go with ur gut and weasel ur way out of it. say you weren’t thinking, or you felt it was an easier thing to do. apologize and act like a holy child and it’ll help u out.


if you’re not allowed to date or have a bf, i understand you too 😭🤷🏼‍♀️i have a lot of experience with this.

• never ever let your parents think you’re hanging with a guy or give them a reason to. don’t slip up and say their name or anything. keep everything lowkey. say you’re going with a friend.

• for my 16+ girls, if ur gonna do the dirty with your boy, have hella excuses. have backup plans. have good lies prepared for your parents. use protection.

• to conceal hickeys, use a color correcting concealer for whatever color your love bite is, then a regular concealer with some powder and it should be gone. icing it also helps change the color and fade it.

• let your bf know your parents are hella strict. my ex broke up with me bc i didn’t tell him i wasn’t allowed to hang out with anyone like ever. he should understand.


if your parents check your phone/apps/messages, these are some tips that should help.

• ANY pics in your camera roll you wouldn’t want ya mom or dad seeing, screenshot them and put them in your my eyes only on snapchat. lock those up for just yourself or whatever.

• delete sexual/explicit messages you’ve sent OR received. if someone sent u dick pics, put them in my eyes only to expose later, or just delete em 😂😭

• download google photos and transfer all your pics and stuff to there. you can archive them and then your camera roll is 100% pure.

• social media is tough. if your parents check it, make sure it’s clean and appropriate. make a finsta or extra acc for the more private stuff. for snapchat, change that guys name from “big dick #3 🤤” back to his name bro 💀 change any weird names. if they check ur memories (which is wild), move everything to my eyes only and pretend u forgot ur password.

• clear ya search history, or if that’s too noticeable, clear it and then google random shit to fill it up.

i think that’s it for this post, i might make a part 2. good luck to y'all with strict parents, i’m praying for yall ❤️


Ok guys, I think I can finally wrap my brain around this enough to give a coherent recap. I’m a processor, so I had to live it in the moment, and now that I’m on the plane leaving the experience behind, hopefully I can make sense of it. I posted pictures in order of event. Sorry I can’t write in between each pic, but I’m on my iPhone and it won’t let me add pics as I go. Anyway, to get on with it…
I started my epic adventure with a 4 hour layover in San Francisco which isn’t as bad as it might seem, because I’ve been married for 25 years and have 4 kids and rarely get to be alone! Let the adventure begin. I roomed with the amazing @sileas84 who is 100% responsible for me attending this con. She employed shameless peer pressure and I crumpled like a card tower in the hands of a toddler. I have no regrets. We arrived at the con at 6:30 am and immediately met up with a group of awesome women (in picture two - this is @myguiltyolpleasure’s pic btw). We were determined to be up close. FIVE HOURS OF WAITING later, we sat on row 5 center and I was thrilled. I was really hoping for a good view. And boy did I get one! Sam twirled in that kilt and I didn’t even try to look, his knickers presented themselves to me! Simple black boxer-briefs - always a classy choice 😂. For most of the panel I could see right up his thigh just because of the way he was sitting in relation to where I was sitting. It’s not that I looked, it’s just that it was thigh porn and I totally looked. At one point we were directed to take a selfie, so we did. (Pic 3) If there’s one thing I can tell you about this particular con, it’s that it was all about obedience. I have never been yelled at by adult strangers so many times in one day since I was a pre-teen. If you stepped out of line, and I mean that literally and figuratively, you heard about it.
I won’t talk about the panel because all y'all have seen it. It was fun, they were adorable and I love them. The hour flew by and I could have sat there and listened to them for the rest of the day. Sam’s unintentional joke about reading about stuff on Tumblr cracked me up, mostly because he was mortified and blushed.
After the panel the autograph session filled up immediately, so we went to get lunch. Ladies, I got up at 4:30am. It was 12:30. I was starving, parched, desperate to pee - cons are not for the weaklings of the herd. That Diet Coke was on par with meeting Sam. I’m just sayin’. Lunch was a tiny little respite in a sea of hurry up and wait. Following our brief lunch we did our photo ops. You need to understand, those two photos took 4 hours. Compare the photo with only Sam vs the photo with both and look at Sam’s eyes. By the time we got to group photos, he was literally exhausted, yet he treated us exactly the same both times (as did Cait) - warm and welcoming, said hello, eye contact, a little squeeze of the hand on the shoulder (ded. I am ded) They were ultimately respectful of the fans and the time and money we put into this. Said thanks and goodbye as we left. I am so impressed with both their professionalism and their basic humanity. These are quality people. The solo photo op is where I had my hair/armpit incident. We walked up and Sam just throws his arms open to engulf you in his superior humanity. As he was putting his arm around me (did I REALLY just type that!) he caught my very long hair with his arm and I ended up being trapped right up against him with my head sort of forced to lay against his arm. I. Am. Not. Complaining. I’m stunned that I had the presence of mind to smile. All I could think of was that I was pressed up against Sam so tight that I could feel how soft the leather of his jacket was. I didn’t even notice that he had changed from kilt to jeans until later.
My first thought about Caitriona when she entered the panel stage is that no picture or video can ever prepare you for how tall and thin she really is. And how gorgeous and graceful she is. And how charming and funny and silly and well spoken and sincere and kind. Ok, I’ll stop. Just look up all the positive adjectives.
Next we went to the autograph line. I was there when the lights went out and Caitriona joked about that not being the way to get to Sam and also when he was jokey about being bored because he had no one at his station so he teased her about taking too long and went over to harass her at her table. They were funny and relaxed and enjoying themselves and it was great to see the spontaneous interaction. Every event was very rushed, but they again did their best to say hello, make eye contact, say a little something to you, and thank you for coming. I had them sign my original Outlander book that was given to me by a friend about twelve years ago, who said, “You might like this.” Famous last words. As you can see, it’s lived a good life. I’ve lent it out many times. I said at dinner last night that I was too nervous and hadn’t really say anything to Caitriona, until I literally went oh my gosh! I did say something to Cait. I had totally blocked it in my nervous state. She commented on how well loved my book was, and I said ‘yes, it’s been read many times by many people and it opens right to the wedding scene’ and then I proved it, by opening it right to that scene. So, yep. I did that. I blushed so hard my eyeballs turned red when I remembered that. Sam was equally adorable, but I just had 'do not say that to sam’ on repeat so then I didn’t really know what to say to him. He was so sweet. His handler was rushing him a little bit and he sort of looked at him and then apologized to me for being rushed along. He looked me right in the eyes. He winked at me and smiled. Ladies, the smolder is real. I was POSITIVE I was immune to the Sam effect and I am NOT. I literally went weak at the knees. My stomach churned. I started shaking. I giggled. I could not think. Well, I could. But the only thing I could think was 'Sam. Sam winked at me. Sam’s eyes are so blue. Sam is so beautiful. Sam. Sam winked at me.’ My brain sort of jammed.
After dinner a huge group (like 17) of us went to dinner. It was awesome. It was amazing. These ladies are incredible. Our fandom is incredible. Last night we went to a smaller dinner and stayed for hours. I can’t tell you how hard we laughed. It was so much fun. I seriously love this place for so much more than Tumblr. We are such a diverse group. Different cultures, different educational and socio-economic backgrounds, different personal and relationship statuses, and most importantly, different ages. We have so much to teach each other and so much to learn, and as a group, we are so generous with our time, talents, resources, emotional support and wisdom. I treasure this. I am so grateful I went. I loved meeting Sam and Caitriona. It was great fun. Meeting dear friends who will remain forever was life changing. I look forward to doing this again one day and meeting even more of you.
Sorry I bombarded you with a DG length post, but thanks for making it through. All I can finish with is if you didn’t leave with a Totes McGoat tote, then you didn’t con right!!

Family Affairs

Originally posted by codenameantarctica

Pairing: Sherlock x Reader (ft. John and Mycroft)

Content/Warnings: Angst; fluff

Words: 2604

A/N: Alright, I have a Sherlock imagine here that was requested by @awesomemikaus:

When Sherlock have a relationship with the reader and he really loves her. But one day Mycroft tells the reader, that she IS not worthy of his brother, or he never really loves her, that she was only a experiment, something like that (in his way of protecting his little brother) the reader believes him. Mycroft tells Sherlock that she died in an accident. One day they reunite in a crime scene, Sherlock knows the truth, and she IS still hurt. Happy endings please

I hope you guys enjoy!

You flopped down on the couch, exhausted after a case. Sherlock had prowled off somewhere, and John had disappeared into the bathroom, presumably for a shower. You were prepared to take a nice long nap, after running on no sleep for two straight days, and just when you found yourself dozing off, your cell phone rang. Groaning, you groped around with a hand until you found it, and sighed upon seeing the caller ID. It was your old coworker, back when you were in America and worked for the CIA. You had been declining his calls for days, but decided to finally answer and see what he wanted.

“Y/L/N,” You answered out of habit. “What do you want, Willis?”

“Why have you been ignoring my calls?” He demanded.

“Well, nice to talk to you too,” You said sarcastically. “I left five years ago, what could you possibly want?”

“I need you,” He said.

“Not going to happen,” You responded instantly. “I’m out. I’m not even in America anymore, though I’m sure you know that. I’m in a good place, Willis, there’s no way in hell I’m coming back in.”

“Three agents have died in the past two months,” Willis said. You could hear the pleading edge to his voice. “You knew two of them. Look, it wouldn’t be permanent, just for a few months until I can get replacements.”

You gave a soft sigh. “Willis, I’m sorry. The answer is still no, you’re just going to have to find someone else in the mean time.”

“Alright.” He seemed to realize there was no point in arguing. “Call me if you change your mind.”

“Hey, Willis,” You said before he hung up. The open air indicated he was still listening. “Be careful out there.”

He gave a wry laugh. “I’ll try.”

Sherlock was sitting in his chair when you hung up. “So you finally answered the phone call?”

“Yeah,” You said, pursing your lips and staring at the ceiling. “Just my past coming back to haunt me.”

Keep reading

Accidents Happen (Part 5/?)

Peter Parker X Pregnant!Reader

A/N: I am so incredibly happy at the response I’ve received at this fic! I have a lot of plans for it, so stay tuned! Also, for those who didn’t see: The Accidents Happen Masterlist has a storyboard type collage thingy! LOL! I don’t know what to call it. So, check it out!

Warnings: Swearing, teen pregnancy (do these two things need to be a warning?), etc.

Masterlist // Accidents Happen Masterlist


Originally posted by sincerelysaraahh

25 weeks pregnant! Your baby is the size of an acorn squash!

Acorn squash, your ass! There was no way that this kid was anything smaller than a goddamn watermelon. Even if you were only at the beginning of your third trimester, you were ready for this baby to be born. You were getting up to pee – what felt like – every ten minutes, and all the body changes were getting annoying. Your belly had gotten so big, that you even had to start wearing those jeans with the band around the waist. This kid was a giant, and there were still so many weeks for him or her to cook. You felt like an incubator.

Plus, you were getting impatient to meet your baby. That was where most of your complaining stemmed from. You had been going insane with the shopping, and the nesting, in hopes of making time go faster, but no such luck.

Sitting in the waiting room of the fancy clinic that your OBGYN – Dr. Nguyen – was located at, you were staring at your pregnancy app in distaste. You had been reading the app while waiting for Peter to show the hell up. He hadn’t shown up at school – again – and was supposed to walk with you to the clinic for an ultrasound. You’d reminded him that morning, before you left for an early band meeting.

You were going to kick his ass.

“Y/N Y/L/N?” The nurse called out, and you stood up. You received a few looks of distaste from some of the other mothers there, which you were used to. You had been showing for quite some time, now, and were used to the looks and comments you received from people everywhere.

She’s ruining her life. How sad, another young teen mom. What a slut. Whore. Look, she puts out. Another person my taxes are going to be paying for. She must be trying to trap her boyfriend… Blah, blah blah, blah blah.

It was annoying.

You glared at your phone, shooting peter another text: What the fuck, man. You’re late. Again. They just called me back.

“Just step up on the scale, please?” The nurse asked, as you set your bag on the chair and stepped up. “Looks like you’ve gained quite a bit more weight.” She saw the look on your face, and quickly kept talking, “Which is a good thing. You’re still on a good track.”

“Great.” You said with fake enthusiasm, stepping down and picking your bag back up, “Do you mind if I call my boyfriend, quick?”

“You can do that in the room,” She smiles, “I’ll show you where.”

You follow her down the small, white hallways to the marked door. Room 7.

The nurse took your vitals before stepping out of the room so you could ream your boyfriend’s ass.


You could feel your irritation growing. “Hey, Peter, it’s me. Your pregnant girlfriend. The one sitting in the clinic for her ultrasound. Alone. Again. I’m going to physically harm you. Get the fuck over here. We’re in room seven.” You hung up.

You called Natasha, next. Voicemail. Steve. Voicemail. Tony. Voicemail. You called every single fucking Avenger, and reached their goddamn voicemail. You were about one second away from calling the line directed to FRIDAY and having the AI put out an APB on the Avengers.

Instead, you called Aunt May in tears.

“Hey, honey! What’s up? I thought you guys had an ultrasound?” She answered, voice chipper.

“Peter isn’t here. Again.” You sniffed, wiping under your eyes, “I can’t get ahold of anyone to tell me where he is. Can you come here? I don’t like doing this alone.”

“Of course, sweetheart.” She replied with a sigh, “I’ll be there in ten minutes. Don’t worry, sweetie, okay? I’ll try calling Peter, too.”

“Thanks, May.” You hung up.

A minute later, the doctor knocked on the door. “Come in!” You called out.

May was true to her word, and showed up as fast as humanly possible. She got there just as Dr. Nguyen was leaving, and the ultrasound technician was coming in. To say she was ecstatic to see the baby on the monitor was downplaying it. You could practically feel her vibrating with excitement in her chair.

She burst into tears with the first sound of the heart beating. Just as you did, the first time after deciding to keep the baby. When the tech started moving the little wand around your gel-covered belly, she let out a small squeal.

“That’s the baby!” She cried, “Oh my goodness, the baby is so big, already!”

“Believe me, I know.” You smiled, staring at your baby moving around on the screen as the tech took a bunch of pictures of each body part, “My bladder function gets worse as he or she grows.”  

You and Peter wanted to keep the gender a surprise. Aunt May had her guess, and was sticking to it. She claimed that she was keeping her guess a secret, but seeing the ultrasound had confirmed her guess. Apparently, she had googled what to look for when seeing ultrasound photos.

“Are you coming home with me, or do you have some things you need to get done with Mr. Stark?” May asked, as you both stepped out of the lobby and into the warming April air.

“I guarantee that Peter is at the tower, so I’m going to head over there.” You smiled, “I’ve got an ass to kick. Plus, I need to talk to Dr. Cho about my job.”

“Don’t kick it too hard,” She laughed, giving you a small hug before you started walking in the other direction, “He promised to paint the bathroom, and put together the crib.”

Yeah, he promises a lot of things… “No promises, on my end.” You called out, walking down the busy street in the direction of the tower.

Your anger had been held at bay with Aunt May in the room, but it had been internally building.

Your anger had reached a new level: livid.

This had been the second appointment Peter had missed, and he had been late to almost all of them. Not to mention that he kept skipping school for missions and doing his Spiderman things. He wasn’t even going to pass Sophomore year, at this point. He had been missing everything in school, and in your lives.

He even stood you up for a date that he had planned at a nice restaurant – some nice elderly couple ended up talking with you and paying for your meal, because they felt bad for you.

He thought you were pissed, then?

He was about to see a whole new type of pissed.

You stormed through the front entrance to the tower, and turned heads. The employees were used to seeing you come in and out of the tower, but they were not used to seeing you come in with a murderous look on your face.

“Ed,” You went over to the security checkpoint and flashed him your pass, “Have you seen Peter? I need to shoot him.”

“I haven’t seen him since yesterday.” He raised his eyebrows, “Why are you going to shoot Mr. Parker?”

“He missed another appointment,” You walked towards the elevator, “He’s a dead man. I guarantee he’s here. Better warn Tony that there’s about to be a domestic.”

When the elevator doors opened, you took a deep breath. Your anger was driving you to tears. You’d never been much of a crier, but all bets were off after you became pregnant. Your hormones were making your emotions come straight to the surface, no matter how hard you tried to remain calm.

You were so frustrated. It was like you were the only one who had been getting your shit together, these past few weeks. You got emancipated, and moved out. You studied hard in school. You got a job at the tower. You showed up to your appointments on time. You started reading the baby books and went to the classes. All by yourself.

Peter did not have his shit together.

“Miss Y/L/N, do you have an intended floor?” FRIDAY asked through the speakers. Oh shit. You forgot to say which floor.

“FRIDAY, do you know where Peter is?”

“He is in a meeting with the team. Would you like to inform him that you are looking for him?”

“No.” You clenched your fists, “Just take me to the floor, please. I need to talk to him.”

As the elevator started moving. As you ascended, you leaned against the wall. You wanted to be with Peter – you loved him more than you had ever loved anybody else – but if he wasn’t going to get his shit together, what were you supposed to do? This baby doesn’t deserve a parent who can’t put them first. It wasn’t about you, anymore. This baby was supposed to be priority number one.

You stomped out of the elevator, taking out the ultrasound pictures from your bag and moving down the hall to the team’s usual meeting room. The walls were all glass, and you saw that every single avenger was sitting in the room looking at something on a screen while Steve talked.

You slammed the strip of ultrasound pictures against the glass wall, almost cracking the glass, and gaining the attention of everyone in the room. You pointed to the pictures with a pissed off look on your face, and Peter immediately jumped up from the chair with a look of horror and guilt.

You stomped over to the door to the meeting room and threw it open, “Are you fucking kidding me, Parker?”

“Y/N, I-” Before he could get another word out, you started hitting him with your purse, “Ow! Stop it!”

“You’re lucky I don’t have a gun, you asshole!” You hit him, again. “This fucking morning you said you’d be at school to pick me up, and walk with me to our appointment! You said you’d be there! You promised!”

Natasha grabbed your bag and set in on the floor, before grabbing your wrist – pulling you a few feet away from Peter, “We had a mission this morning. We’ve been in meetings ever since.”

“I don’t give a fuck if aliens are fucking destroying the city, again!” You yanked your arm from her grasp, “This baby comes first.” Tears started leaking from your eyes, and you looked back at Peter, “You still don’t want this baby, do you?”

His face fell, “Of course, I do. I’ve never not wanted the baby.”

“You just want to be Spiderman more?” Your lip wobbled, tears leaving hot trails down your face. “Because lately Spiderman has become priority over this baby, school, and everything else.”

He slowly walked over to you – wary about being hit, again – and framed your face with his hands, “I want you. I want this baby. I’m sorry.”

You shook your head, pulling his hands from your face and stepping back, “You keep having to apologize and keep making these promises, but what about after the baby is born? You can do this shit to me, but I won’t let you do this shit to the baby. You need to think about if you’re going to be in this baby’s life. Otherwise, we need to end this.”

The room was silent.

You could see the tears in Peter’s eyes, and he looked heartbroken. He took a deep breath, trying to blink back his tears. Then, he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around you, burying his face into your shoulder. “I’m an asshole. I’m sorry. I love you and I love this baby.”

Shit. You were supposed to be angry. You sniffed, wrapping your arms around him, too. “Yeah, you are. You need to get your shit together.” You pulled back a little, “Aunt May’s going to kill you. She came to the appointment, after I called her and told her you weren’t there.”

“Is everything okay with the baby?” He lifted his head, moving his hands from around your waist to placing them gently on your swollen belly. “Did the doctors say anything?”

“The baby is healthy, and growing at a normal weight.” You placed your hands over his, and you scowled, “And you need to stop giving in to my cravings. I gained even more weight.”

Natasha laughed from behind you, “It’s all those wontons you keep eating, Pachen’ye. They go straight to your ass.”

You turned your head and glared at her, “Me and my fat ass will sit on you.”

“Gaining weight while pregnant is a good thing.” Clint rolled his eyes, throwing his pen at Natasha. “You can talk to my wife, she’s been pregnant and birthed three kids. If the doctor said you’re fine, then your fine.”

“So, now that things are all fine and dandy,” Tony’s annoyed voice came from the front of the room, “Can we get back to the prisoner we currently have locked in my basement?”

“Prisoner?” You whispered to Peter, as he pulled you into his chair and stood behind you – leaning on the back of it, with his hands on your shoulders.

“Yes, you heard me correctly, Juno. Prisoner.” Tony groaned. He needed to quit calling you Juno, if he valued his life. “We caught a big baddie from the HYDRA ranks. That was why Spiderkid missed your appointment.”

“Where was he? Was he in New York?” You asked, opening Peter’s copy of the file they had on the mission details.

“He was part of an illegal shipment of stolen weapons that we, conveniently, heard from our little informant we have.” Everyone in the room grumbled at Tony’s words. “Which means it was a trap.”

“A trap? Seriously, guys?” You leaned back, closing the folder before you got to read any of it. “I take it that you guys are fine, since you’re all here and talking to me. Is he your only prisoner?”

“No,” Peter said from behind you, “All the other HYDRA soldiers are prisoners, as well.”

“Now that I’m up to speed, what are you guys going to do with the prisoner?”

“That’s what we’re deciding.” Steve turned the monitor back on, “This is HYDRA agent Sean Morris.”

Your entire body tensed up as you stared at the screen.

You knew that name.

You knew that face.

You knew him.

One side of the screen was his picture from the file – the one you didn’t even notice was in there. The other side of the screen was him, strapped to a chair, locked in a cell.

His face was the one that haunted your dreams. His face was the one you would remember in early childhood memories, before your mom started doing drugs and drinking. He was from before. Before you moved to Queens, in hopes that he would never find you, again. Before your mother started to blame you for him getting mean, and her having to leave him.

He was the only person who had known that you could heal with your hands. He was the reason you had the powers, in the first place. He was a mutant. He had the strength of a thousand men.

Sean Morris was your father.

He was your father, and he was a monster.

You could barely get the word out, before a panic attack took over your body.


Part 6

TAGS: (Let me know if you wanna join the party! I do forever tags, as well!)

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How You Sleep/Cuddle

How you sleep/cuddle and someone catches you and takes pictures of the cute moment

 h/t stands for hometown 

 Scott McCall 

 You were at Scott’s house and didn’t bother to knock because you had a key, and Scott was expecting you to be there at some point in time that day. You walked in the living room to see he’d fallen asleep on the couch. Shirtless you might add. You couldn’t help but stare at the sight and get a little turned on. That was until Scott mumbled “its rude to stare you know.” “Not staring…… admiring.” You told him while smirking. Then walked over and laid on top of his back. You didn’t need a blanket since Scott was like his own freaking furnace. You fell asleep on top of Scott. You don’t know how long you slept but it must have been awhile because you were awoken by the click of a camera and opened your eyes to see Stiles and Melissa with cameras giggling like little gossiping school girls. You were snapped out of your thoughts by “y/n you drooled all of my back.” Said Scott in a whiny little kid voice. Stiles laughed so hard he fell and Melissa had to sit down.

 Stiles Stilinski 

 You were going on a long trip all the way across country to visit Stiles family that couldn’t come to you’re wedding. You and Stiles decided to see his family a day after the wedding and then fly down to The France to visit Isaac and go on your honeymoon, the fly back and drive home with John, Stiles father since he went with you to see his family. John was driving at the moment since you and Stiles were both still tired from your wedding the day before. Stiles was in the back seat asleep and you were in the front quietly talking to John. It had been a few hours since you last stopped so you stopped at a gas station to refuel and take a potty break. Stiles shuffled into the bathroom. You giggled when he came out he had a very sleepy face and a little drool on his cheek. His hair was a mess and he was looking at food. When you finally all were back on the road Stiles whined from the back seat “Y/n” he dragged your name out. “I need someone to cuddle.” “I’m talking.” You tried to tell him but he wouldn’t quit so John told you to get some rest and kissed the top of your head before you climbed back there. You laid you’re head against Stiles chest and he played with your hair until you both fell asleep. When you woke up, it must have been at least 7 hours later. You heard a bunch of “AWWWWS” and camera’s clicking. You and Stiles looked at each other before he said ignore them and held you closer and tried to go back to sleep. “Stiles.” You started sweetly knowing you would have to sweet talk your way into him letting go. “I love you and your an amazing husband.” He grumbled knowing where this was going. “I really have to pee.” You whined. He mumbled something incoherent but let you go and got out of the car and went straight to the couch and fell sleep. 

 Jackson Whittemore 

 You and Jackson liked to cuddle when you sleep. It didn’t surprise you because he had always been a very touchy feely person. You guys usually slept with with you’re face buried in his neck and him playing with you’re hair as he held you tight. This night was like every other night except your parents had come to visit from your h/t. You and Jackson always had a tendency to wake up late in the day since you stayed up late at night. Well you were half asleep when you heard giggles then grunts from beside you then more giggles. Your mother had come up to check on you and thought it was adorable you slept like this, so she took pictures and sent them to everyone she knew. You could tell Jackson was awake and he didn’t like people waking him up so you tried to get up to get you mother out, but Jackson had other ideas and kept a tight grip on you. “Mom get out…… and Jackson let goooooooo.” You whined but neither really listened because you mom got your dad and Jackson just went back to sleep so you did to. 

 Peter Hale

 There was a pack meeting at Derek’s house and you were trying to listen but you were really tired from studying for your college classes, and kept almost falling asleep and even drooling on Peter a little. He absolutely loved seeing you this way because you looked all cute and innocent. He finally gave in and interrupted Derek and said, “Excuse me Derek.” To which Derek started glaring at him but shut up. “Y/n spent all night studying and won’t quit drooling on me so I’m gonna take her upstairs to let her take a nap.” Everyone looked at him. They always saw him as cold and dead in the inside but around you he was a good person. He carried you bridle style. After he laid you down you thanked him and expected him to leave but felt the bed sink in behind you and he curled up next to you. He let you use on of his arms as a pillow and on the other you guys held hands. He fell asleep in the arms of your best friend. He was awoken by the sound of people opening the door but ignored until they started taking pictures. He knew you were dead asleep and wouldn’t wake up so he looked at them and gave them all a death glare and eventually they all left but still kept swapping photos and talking about it.

 Isaac Lahey

 I lived with my best friend Isaac and since Derek kicked him out and the McCalls took me in when my single father went into the army and had to move away for awhile. Since there was only one guest bedroom Isaac and I bunked since he was my best friend and we weren’t dating…… yet. Isaac and I also had to share a bed but it was really big. It didn’t matter that it was big anyways since we almost always cuddled. This time was the same and he slept with his head against my chest. He told me once that it made him feel safe. Like his father couldn’t get to him anymore and that if something happened he was right there to protect me. I loved this and let him do it because he was vulnerable and it made my heart break for him because he hates being vulnerable. It was early in the morning when I heard the door open. I’m a light sleeper and Isaac wasn’t ever since he moved here so I didnt expect him to wake up. I was going to ignore the door until I heard whispering. Melissa and Lydia were talking the I thought I heard someone call Scott over. They quietly whispered to each other as they tiptoed in. I heard one snap and finally got annoyed and opened my eyes and tried to move to see what they were doing. They all snickered at my actions. “Stop moving……. and get out of here guys.” Isaac said to me and then Scott Melissa and Lydia. They snickered again but left.


 It had been a long day at school with two tests and three pop quizzes, and to add on all the stuff going on in the supernatural world. I shared an apartment with Aiden, my boyfriend, Ethan, his twin, and Danny didn’t technically live here or pay rent but he stayed at least 3-4 nights a week with his Ethan, since they were boyfriends. It was late at night and tomorrow was Saturday so I just wanted to go to bed and sleep till noon tomorrow. I plopped down next to Aiden on the bed as he was just scrolling through twitter on my phone talking about how he was hotter than all the guys I follow and how I follow to many. I rolled my eyes and took my phone from him. Aiden had a weird thing where he likes to rest his head on my stomach and hold on to my waist. He curled up into my side and like usual did this. I started playing with his hair until he fell asleep. After about an hour of scrolling through Pinterest I fell asleep happily. I wasn’t awoken till I heard Ethan and Danny trying not to burst out laughing. I was so tired I didn’t even notice how Aiden was sleeping. I heard some pictures being taken then Ethan muttering “my brother is such a perv even when he’s asleep.” Then I realized what he was talking about as I looked down and Aidens head was on the bed slobbering and his arm was up to top resting on my boob. I woke up completely and glared at Ethan and Danny. I realized Aiden was now awake because I saw him smirk the start massaging my boob. I hit his arm trying to make him let go so they wouldn’t hear me moan. They got grossed out and left after they saw me frantically trying to grab the blanket at my feet to cover up. 

Jordan Parrish

 I was at my boyfriend Deputy Jordan Parrish’s apartment and it was raining really hard outside. We were inside eating popcorn as he was trying to help me with my algebra homework because I didn’t understand it and he was good at algebra. I got a call from my dad, the Sheriff. “Hey sweety, it’s raining really hard here and the streets are completely flooded so I want you to stay at Parrish’s house for a few days or at least until the water goes down.” “Ok Dad it’s raining bad here to be safe and tell Stiles I love him. Bye love you.” “Love you too sweety.” Then he hung up. I hope this wasn’t inconveniencing Jordan but my dad didn’t seem to care. Probably because he was his boss. And the Sheriff. I went to ask Jordan if I could stay. But he must have noticed because before I could speak he told me “I heard and don’t worry I want you to stay I love having you here and it’s not like you could even leave.” “You are the best most handsome perfect boyfriend in the world.” I told him as I walked over and sat on my lap and kissed him. He chuckled. We stayed for about three days together trapped in Jordans apartment before I got another call from my dad saying he was sending Stiles to get me in the morning. Jordan and I fell asleep in his bed with his arms tightly around me from behind and his face in my neck breathing my scent to calm him enough to fall asleep. In the morning I heard Stiles laugh and take a picture of sometimes on his phone. I noticed what he was laughing about when I felt slobber on my neck and in my hair. I kicked him lightly and whined “Joooordaaan you slobbered on meee.” He sat up slowly and chuckled as he wiped it the best he could with the blanket. I tried to go back to sleep. “Wait how did you get in” Jordan asked Stiles. “Uhhh I had a key made duh.” He says like it was the most normal thing in the world. Jordan just stared at him probably not surprised by my weird brother anymore.

 Derek Hale

 Derek and I shared his loft but the pack was there a lot so we didn’t get much alone time. Liam was really tired so I lead him to Derek and I’s room and let him sleep on the bed. Derek was not very happy with me because he wanted to take a nap together. “Derek I feel bad for the poor kid he’s so young and innocent he shouldn’t have to go through this he’s just a kid. They all were.” I said talking about the rest of the pack. I always felt the motherly instincts and most of the time the pack considered Derek and I the mother and father of the whole group. “And what do you think we were when life hit us in the gut. We all got dealt a crappy hand but we all make it better for each other by having each other’s back honey, so don’t feel so bad.” Derek said as he tried to calm me down. I just nodded and laid down on the couch to try and take a nap. He chuckles “oh no you don’t you gave away our bed I’m taking the couch it’s not my fault we have no bed.” Derek said. “There’s enough room for you.” I tried to reason with him so I could stay. I patted the spot beside me he gave a skeptical look but came over anyways. He barely fit on the couch and his butt was kinda slipping off but he threw his leg over mine, and I buried my head in his chest. I smiled when I felt out dog, that was practically out baby jump on Derek then the top of the couch to go to sleep. It was the whole family napping on the small couch I thought to myself than fell asleep. When I woke up Derek was already awake and trying to move away without waking me. He whispered sorry but I just smiled at him. Isaac, Lydia, and Allison were all laughing and sharing photos, of what I figured was us on the couch. I smiled when Derek got up and walked away mumbling grumpily something about privacy. 

 Liam Dunbar

 Third person POV

 Liam and Y/n have been dating for a while now, and to get away from all of the supernatural stuff going on, Liam sneaks into her bedroom at night so they can talk and cuddle until they fall asleep. Y/n’s parents weren’t home when he woke up the next morning so he decided to make her a nice breakfast. ………………….. he didn’t succeed. Y/n woke up to the smell of something burning and Liam wasn’t by her side so she put two and two together and thought he was trying to burn her house down. Sarcasm intended. She shuffled down the stairs in her blanket cocoon, and looked at him trying to make breakfast. He heard her and looked over and gave her puppy dog eyes to try and make her help him. She sighed and walked over to him still half asleep. She just put her arms around his mid section with he blanket and snuggled into his side. She was peaceful until she heard the small snap of a picture being taken. She saw her best friend Isaac standing there smirking. 

 Theo Raeken

 Third person POV

 Theo loved to have random movie nights with his girlfriend to take off the edge of his supernatural life. Honestly y/n loved them to. It was time for them to forget about their worries and spend time in each other’s arms. They were at y/n’s house since only her twin brother was home. They were watching Finding Nemo for the thousandth time since this was one of y/n’s favorite movies. Theo got up and went to get some more popcorn. When he got back his girlfriend had turned her body taking up most of the couch and sighed but then got and idea and set the popcorn her coffee table Theo jumped on y/n and made he squeal. After that he got himself situated in between her legs with his head resting against her chest. Halfway through the movie y/n looked down and just stared at him as he watched the movie. “You know your staring is getting s little creepy.” Jackson y/n’s brother said to her. She rolled her eyes and cradled his head into her. Jackson grabbed his phone and took a picture for twitter with the caption she wouldn’t stop staring so I took a picture so it would last longer😍 

 Brett Talbot 

 You and Brett were newlyweds, and visiting you parents house while the bathroom in your house was redone. Brett was a massive guy so you two had to buy a bed according. Unfortunately in your old room your bed was only a full size and wasn’t very long so it was hard to fit you both. You and Brett really had no choice but for you to pretty much lay on top of him which you guys normally wouldn’t mind but your old room was in the attic and it was summer so it got really hot adding on to the fact that Brett’s a freaking heater of his own. You guys were wearing very little clothing so you wouldn’t get as hot and just sprawled out across each other. 

 Third person POV 

 Y/n’s sister came up to the attic to wake her sister and Brett for breakfast. When she saw the way they were sleeping she couldn’t help but smile and take a picture. Which woke Brett up with his werewolf hearing. “Hey” he said lazily to his sister in law. “Breakfast is ready.” She told him knowing he loves food. He peeked right up just as she expected. He didn’t even bother to properly wake up his wife. He grabbed he waist sat up and carried her down the stairs through her on the couch and went to eat breakfast while she stared daggers into his scull and he smirked.

 Hey guys I just wanted to know how you feel about the way I set this up. Some of these I used different ways of writing in 1st 2nd and 3 POV so if you guys will message me or comment and tell me what you prefer I will start doing it that way and if enough people tell me they like it one way I will change this entire preference to be like that. Sorry some of these are longer than others it’s kinda hard to do some of the pictures and it took me 3 hours to write this but it was worth it. Please tell me what you think and please request!!!

J.’s passing tips for FTMs

Um hello there.
After reading several guides myself, practicing, finding out what’s comfortable for me and so on and so forth, I decided to write a passing guide myself, for all those FtM people out there who need a bit of help.

First: Clothing.
✘ Clothing is a very important point. Feminine clothing obviously will not help you passing as a male. Keep that in mind when you are out shopping (on your own, or with a person who knows about your mental state - a little help from a second pair of eyes is worth more than rubies.)
✘ Despite what people say - rather stick to bigger sizes! I’ve made this experience myself. Look, your body shape is the one of a woman. (I know it’s hard, I fvck up myself because of that every single day again, but it just is a fact you shouldn’t forget about.) You need to cover up this shape and this won’t work when you buy men’s clothing in your very size (mine is - German -  M/L, idk what sizes are existing over the whole world), because then you just look like a butch girl in men’s clothing. But don’t break the limit of oversizing. I’ve noticed that one to two sizes over your normal are enough in the most cases. Bigger clothing will not only help you correct your body shape in front of others, it’s also super comfortable and, depending on your style, it can really look cool. (I will soon upload a photo series of my favorite outfits, some that made me help pass in front of curious cis males, friends, and random ppl like in the train.)
✘ I highly recommend wearing T-Shirts with a round cleavage, sweaters, hoodies, and, most important of all, men’s trousers. This is hella important. At the beginning, you might think “Oh that’s a woman’s trouser, I can wear that one since it is a little to big for me” - don’t do that. Just don’t. Woman’s pants are always cut to fit your female body shape, so it points out your curves - thighs, ass, and nearly everything else covered with it. Whatever you try, in a woman’s trouser, you will always look female in some way. It doesn’t matter if it’s oversized it still has the same effect. Therefore I recommend to get yourself men’s pants with a regular leg or a straight leg cut. Mine hide my ass (which is quite large since I’m riding a horse 2-3 times per week), straighten my thighs and overall give me a straighter body shape - and that’s just what you want to look like, right?
Be super careful with hats. By that I do not only include hats, but also beanies, etc. You really need to try them on in front of a mirror and do some positioning chances in case you really want to wear one. Beanies usually are good (maybe if you have quite long hair and can’t get a haircut at an instant?), but sometimes, they make your head appear bigger than it is, which lowers your change of passing because all the attention is drawn on your face (I will talk about the face thing below!). Here, you need to go check yourself what is comfortable for you and what you really want.

Second: Packing.
This is the point I always hate the most. I have not tried it yet, but I have already ordered my STP packer and then, I will post another text about his topic. But still, I will explain my opinion and thoughts to you here.

✘ PRO PACKING: Well, that’s obvious, isn’t it? A packer can reduce some of your weaknesses caused by your female body. I wouldn’t go that far to say those are “defects”, but I refer to transsexuality as a defect in genetics, where boys are born with a X chromosome to much and a Y chromosome missing. I have noticed myself on journeys or festivals that going to loo can be extremely hard and distressing and even depressing (depends on the person tho) when you lack something a cis male is born with. (An STP can help there, that’s why I’m going to try it.) Plus, some transmen I know like to see the small bulge the packer creates in their pants. For optics, it just looks like there really was the stuff you are still bodily lacking in your pants! That always depends on the packer and on the person. You may like it, or you may feel like you’re carrying a boner around.

✘ CON PACKING: Where there a pros, there always have to be cons. Some may regard packing as unneccessary and I can totally understand that. You can walk around with that bulge or pee standing up or you don’t, that’s up to you. It is not neccessary to pack. You even might be reminded of what you biologically lack and that can be suuuuper depressing and discouraging. Besides, nobody looks your crotch closely anyway. (A good packing is not catching the eye anyway since you don’t want to look like a molester with an erection, right?) And people who might see you in underwear are also in the most cases likely to see you naked, so there basically is no need to convince them of something you really don’t have. And, on top of it all, a really good, hand-made packer, that doesn’t only consist of a GoGirl & a Mr Limpy, but is one piece in fact, can be really expensive. (And you are most likely to need a harness to wear your packer, which creates more costs and can also be quite difficult to handle in reality!)

Third: Face.
Keep in mind that, despite what you think, your face just has no edges like cis guys have them. You mostly rather have a rounded face, because that’s what’s typical for AFABs. On T, those edges may show, but not before. So whatever you do, whatever you like, do not wear make-up. NOT. EVER. I cannot keep repeating this loud and often enough. It’s something different for eyebrows, but you should leave your skin clean. Even concealer or powder will be noticable, and people will think you are a girl playing guy for fun. If you are very good with make-up, you might try shades to point out edges, but that mostly looks super artificial and won’t help you pass.
✘ It can be super hard to tame your eyebrows. Therefore, I recommend: Let them grow, and then give them a form. And use an eyebrow pencil fitting your haircolor if you like (as for me - my natural hair color is blond, so my eyebrows are blond, but my hair is dyed black and so I’m using a black pencil). Cis males usually have thick eyebrows, and you can create this impression yours are as well by using the pen’s color en masse and then combing the brow’s hairs upwards with a neat comb. Everybody can decide for themselves, but that’s the thing that helped be the most. About the kink (? is this the right word? idk correct me if I’m failing the English language), I solved this problem ( it in fact is a problem, only females have this very kink, males don’t) by letting the eyebrows grow and then shaving/plucking off the hair from above. And then the comb thing. It’s up to you, I’m just sharing my personal experiences.
Shave off your peach fuzz. Peach fuzz is something only guys in puberty have - and females of course. Grown males either have a beard - which will come with the T since you choose to apply for it - or nothing, because they’re shaved. So cut it off. The skin will feel ticklish and dry, but you will get used to it. Cold water directly after shaving, or a skin cream (I have own for sensitive skin, an after-shave care cream), can help.

Fourth: Body.
✘ Sports are important. Also, like every other thing, it’s up to you if you do it or don’t, but I highly recommend it. You might not have a muscular body yet, but you can start building up one with some easy workouts. (T increases your muscle building even more, but starting pre-T will give you the routine!) I’m not saying that you should go to the gym and work out 4 times per week. No. There are many practices you can do on your own at home. (Personally, I am doing 10 - 40 pushups per day, and it significantly changes the line of my arm for I am building muscles there.) You can also check the internet for specific workouts, I’ve seen some on tumblr already.
Be sure you get enough food. The skinnier you are, the more frail you look. But males aren’t really frail (I know some, but those are exceptions.) Eating is important, healthy and tasty. I love food. And everybody else should. When you are starting to work out, you should also supply your body with the energy to do so. What food you eat, is irrelevant. Healthy food of course is the best (but I don’t do that myself, I love sweets). There are some foods that are applying on your bodily testosterone/estrogen levels, but let your fingers off those - it’s not that much that it will significantly change your body.
✘ Never ever take pills that are supposed to make your body super strong and muscular. Or skinny. Those are mostly fake and super dangerous!

Fifth: Hair.
✘ Hair is also one of those personal things, and I am not quite sure what to recommend. From talks and personal experience, I can only say that FTM guys with short, “boyish” hair are most likely to be passing.
Some guys can grow super long hair without looking stupid, most FTMs can’t do that, because it ruins the passing. I have quite long hair myself (ca. 20 - 30 cm), but I want to have dreadlocks and that’s why I’m letting it grow. If your hair matches your face in a way that does not make you totally feminine, you can also keep your long hair.
Do not - EVER - tuck hair behind your ears. Even if you have long(er) or annoying hair that’s always in your face. Just don’t do it.
✘ When you want to make a ponytail, there’s one thing I can recommend: Make the ponytail the lowest that is possible, place the hair tie right over your neck. Also, take all hair strands, and brush them from the from to the back before doing so, so that all the hair is compact in one ponytail without loose strands. Do not let loose strands flutter around or fall in your face. Makes you look feminine. (And don’t use hair slides, but I guess that’s clear.)

Alright, that’s all I can tell you for now.
I hope those tips will help you, at least a little bit. 
Remember, it takes some time to find out what’s good for you. Do not rush yourself.
As I said, I will soon post some pictures referred to in this post.
Liking & Sharing always appreciated.

Best wishes to you from Germany.
~ Julius

Our Story

Read the other chapters here.

Life goes on—quickly, greedily, and with a hunger that brings them to their knees. How to satiate it? How to stop it? They start journals (Claire), write more books (Jamie), do everything they can snag the veil with immortalized moments. If a memory is made concrete, they think—in writing or in a photograph—then perhaps time will have to move around it? Be forced to decelerate? (Time doesn’t care. About them, about anyone. The universal enemy.)

Claire is promoted to Chief of Staff, improves at Scrabble, develops a lump in her breast they believe to be cancer (it isn’t). Jamie learns how to sail without puking, gets a teaching job at Chapel Hill. He is less motivated by the idea of tenure—stability, money—than by the opportunity to stoke creative sparks in others just like him. In the fourth row sits a girl whose essays are colored by the loss of her mother, the grief of it found even in the gray eraser clouds. The boy behind her writes poems of spun sugar, overly romantic but endearing in their sincerity, and Jamie remembers this boy whenever he looks in the mirror.

Jamie grows a beard specifically to impress them. All of his professors concealed their weakening chins in thickets of hair, so why not him? The new aesthetic receives a positive response: Claire loves its tickle between her legs, his classes seem to find him wiser and mind less when his memory suddenly fails. (A common occurrence as of late, damn it all.) But when Jamie shaves for the summer, he feels strangely guilty—Bree’s expression, a scowl of disappointment in the reclaimed smoothness of his face. (The source of her sadness is revealed a few days later: she’d believed her father was Santa Claus.)

Jamie and Claire watch their bodies sag, widen. They watch their cholesterol, their caloric intake. There is the month-long agony of a shared paleo diet, an experiment which, come July, they decide is the dumbest thing they’ve ever done.

“No carbs!” Jamie crows in disbelief.

“No alcohol!” Claire hoots.

“Did I tell ye I cheated one day?”

“Jamie, you didn’t!”

“Aye, I ate Bree’s leftover macaroni,” he says. “Gobbled it right up, didna even use a fork.”

“Bloody traitor,” Claire says, and they laugh and laugh. Clink hearty glasses of wine as a toast to the old-age blessing of letting go and getting fat. (Jamie will repay Claire under the full moon, to redeem himself.)

For a while, it seems everyone they know gets divorced: a beloved colleague, a woman in Claire’s book club. When they hear the news, they praise their own luck, secretively locking hands before offering their sympathies. Such announcements inspire extra enthusiasm for the “Married” boxes on government forms. And saying things like, “My wife, Claire” or, “Have you met Jamie, my husband?” gives them a heart-swelling high.  (Belatedly, they realize this shouldn’t be considered luck at all—but a given. This, their lasting marriage.)

It’s only after the Abernathy’s separation that worry niggles its way between them. They watch each other carefully, sousing out possible itches: a desire to flee to a foreign country, a lust for someone whose faults are more expertly hidden. (No marriage, even Jamie and Claire’s, is without its itches. The difference here is that they never want to scratch them.) Jamie is careful about putting the toilet seat down, and he allots himself just an hour of self-pity for every negative book review. Claire does not organize his messy office, respects the calculated disorganization of his shelves, even though the clutter makes her skin crawl. She keeps the AC off every night that summer, just so she can feel Jamie’s heat next to hers. A way of ensuring that he is still there, sweating himself into their sheets, which will remain unwashed for several days.

Their biggest fight is in September of 2014. One of Jamie’s students begins to show more interest in her professor than in her studies. There are bold advances, firm rejections, a vengeful letter that describes their trysts in explicit detail (strangely, Claire finds the Dear Mrs. Fraser and Xoxo Malva to be the cruelest things of all). All lies, of course, but still Jamie and Claire fight. Feelings of betrayal stew overnight, and Jamie is exiled from their bed like a misbehaving dog, Claire watching from the doorway as Jamie whimpers to the couch. Two days of silence pass—the dean notified, apologies made, and tears shed—before he finally barges into the bathroom, uninvited.

“Are ye going to leave me?” he asks Claire, very quiet for someone who nearly ripped the door from its hinges.

“Jamie, now is not a good time.”


“Because I’m peeing.”

“So ye canna pee in front of me now?”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

But Jamie stays there, waiting, fetches toilet paper when Claire’s hand lights on the used-up cardboard roll. She flushes and stands. A child is born and dies a man in the minute it takes his wife to wash up.  

“So?” he asks. “Are ye?”

“Don’t be an idiot,” she says.

They throw themselves into parenthood. Bree learns her ABCs, then her multiplication tables, then how to weep so that the dinosaur coloring book secures a spot in their shopping cart. Some innocence is lost after a public mounting: two petting zoo goats, vigorous thrusts, shameless bleats of ovine ecstasy. On the way home, “Where do babies come from?” is asked loudly from the backseat, though Jamie and Claire’s discomfort speaks louder from the front.

“From…from love,” Jamie stutters. “It’s something very special,” Claire adds—though a child is neither the guaranteed result, nor always the aim. They glance at each other, wondering if their daughter’s newfound awareness will require more discretion in the night. (There’s an element of danger to sex now, and the sneaky, moan-suppressing game of it reminds them of being young again.)

When they revisit the subject a few years later, they add such parental wisdom as: Trust is key; you must trust the person you consider doing It with. (Boy or girl, it doesn’t matter, they will love her anyways, does she know that?)

Actually, there needs to be trust and there needs to be protection. A rubber. A condom? Has Bree ever heard of a condom? (Yes.) What? How? Why is she aware of condoms if she is only eleven years old?

She is twelve years old, she is fourteen, she is sixteen going on thirty. Jamie and Claire spend hours looking for an elusive Pause button, the world moving at the same rapid-fire pace. 2015 becomes 2019, then 2022 in the blink of an eye. 

They watch Bree join the volleyball team, break her wrist, break her heart. They watch her pinch whiteheads, lust after jocks and platinum hair dye, suck in her stomach before full-length mirrors (sometimes, this makes them want to cry; sometimes they do). They watch her as she descends the staircase in a pair of towering heels, a vision of silk and emerald and such astounding loveliness that they cannot fathom how their bodies made her.

This is the night of Bree’s senior prom, the winds of change in the air. It is ten hours before she will lose her virginity—a three-minute fumble inside a Toyota—to the boy now standing on the porch. (There will be trust and a condom and the first delirious onslaught of love.) The boy, named Roger, looks utterly stunned as Bree pins his boutonniere to his lapel, as if she has driven the needle straight through his tux, directly into his heart.

The couple is herded to stand beneath the sycamore, and to say, “Cheese!” (“Or gouda,” Jamie jokes, having settled quite comfortably into the routine of bad Dad humor.) Jamie cannot get a picture that isn’t blurry, and so it is Claire, with her steady surgeon’s hands, who manages the perfect shot. This is the photo that will hang on the fridge door, while the other—the one taken mid-parental transition—will make the family album. Roger laughing, Bree rolling her eyes at her father’s incompetence. It is a photo that will make Claire misty whenever she sees it. Even ten years later, when she glues their wedding photo beside it.

Still—life goes on. Birthdays, high school graduation, anniversaries. Bree gets into Harvard, Claire becomes addicted to RuPaul’s Drag Race, Jamie chops off his finger while julienning vegetables. Their Cocker Spaniel, Adso, lunges at the pinkish nub, mistaking it for a discarded bit of hot dog. (Thankfully, Claire rescues the finger, and it is transported in a baggy of ice—along with its owner—to the ER.) 

Bree spends freshman winter term in Spain and calls home speaking the language, which only Jamie understands. They make it a joke to mislead Claire with outlandish stories, until she eventually catches on:

“Brianna got a tattoo of Roger’s face in Barcelona,” Jamie translates. “Full color, and at a verra reasonable price.”

“I know for a fact that the word ‘tattoo’ has not been used in this conversation,” Claire replies. “I’ve been watching Rosetta Stone, just FYI.”

“Weel, you’ll just have to see the proof of it, then.” 

Doubt flickers across Claire’s face.

“You’re not serious, are you?”


“You’re lying.”

“Yes, he’s lying, Mama,” Bree chimes over the speakerphone, and they both start laughing.

“You two are the worst.”

“But you’re the best, Sassenach,”

“Damn right,” she mutters.

November 2028. The year, somehow, is almost over. In one week Bree will come home for Thanksgiving, wearing a Harvard sweatshirt and a promise ring from Roger. Roger himself will tag along, and in the manner of all nervous boyfriends, he will stutter through Jamie’s questions, be all-too-grateful for the distraction of clearing plates. (“Don’t worry about that, I’ll get it!”)

Claire, away on a 3-week conference, will be back as well. She will serve the turkey with a glint in her eye, daring someone to note how the side dishes seem suspiciously store-bought. The table will only offer their effusive praise, lubricating the dry turkey with the chemical-laden gravy, feeding Adso the scraps they couldn’t get down themselves.

Until then, Jamie has the house to himself. He has not been alone like this since the early 2000′s, and his mind becomes unsettlingly untethered by the solitude. He goes hunting, fishing, hiking. He leaves the front door wide open, pours Adso too much food. He forgets his tackle box in the woods and doesn’t realize it’s missing until the sun has sunk. Tomorrow, he thinks.

He attempts to write his story for The New Yorker, but he can’t seem to parse his thoughts into sentences. They buzz around his head like aimless bees, and he almost wishes for a sting, a pricking back to his eloquent senses. (Where is that damn outline he made a month ago?)

Like a teenager, he goes to his bedroom at 3PM, intending to jack off his loneliness. He tries to summon an image of Claire from the last time they fucked (18 days ago!), but there’s nothing clear enough to get him hard. Just a pale throat, the vaguest suggestion of a flower. He resits his phone—he’s called three times in the past six hours—and watches a football game instead.

The days go on. Adso watches him, alert, as if he’s waiting for the final unraveling, the arrival of a ghost. Jamie starts five books, returns them to shelves before he finishes. He prepares extravagant meals, stores the bulk of them in tupperware. He eats, he drinks, he sleeps.

Then, in the middle of the night—a smell. It sits on him, pressing down like an angry fist. He sits up. A searing pain that keeps his eyes closed. A sudden constriction of his lungs. An alarm going off and a dog’s yip, the roar of them traveling through a fog, a—smoke?

There is smoke. Jamie falls out of bed and runs, blindly, but there is only heat where the door should be. He feels heavy; he feels light. He feels as if he is rising high above the house and that he is falling down, far down, beneath it. He plans an escape, but there is no synergy between his mind and his movements. He pauses.

Claire. Where is Claire? If he could just open his eyes, if could just breathe properly, then he would call for her, and—

He is on the floor now. When did he get here? How did he get here? The carpet is soft under his cheek, a pillow to go with the blanket that suffocates him. Perhaps he’ll simply sleep and wait for the nightmare—for that is surely what this is—to end. A dream, only a dream.

But he can’t just lie still! There was someone else, right? That name from a few minutes (hours?) ago is on the very tip of his tongue. He wants to yell it into the screen of smoke, but a surge of memory tells him to conserve his breath. Whoever it is, isn’t here. Whoever it is, wouldn’t hear. (How frustrating it is to feel such desperation for an unknown.)

It’s so hot now, unbearably hot. It reminds him of something. Stories. A boy who sucked the spirit right out of his mother, entered the world in a stolen blaze of fire. Another woman whose hands licked him up and down, the most exquisite burning.

There are sirens. There are shouts. Bright beams flash through the black cloud around him. He raises an arm to admire their light on his skin, deceptively playful in their colorful dance and silent song. Pretty, Jamie thinks, and because the familiarity is a comfort, he lets it take him under.

And just like that, in a wash of red and blue—life stops.

Untimely Ripped

Until I was rushed into emergency surgery, there was nothing really unusual about my pregnancy. I was perfectly healthy for nine months. I went to doula-guided community yoga classes where we processed our pregnancies in group talks and learned about safe, empowering natural alternatives to the Patriarchal Medical Establishment. I sailed into and out of appointments with my OB/GYN (who I went to because I was pretty sure I’d want that epidural in the end, no matter how patriarchal it was). I didn’t have a single complication or complaint to report. And then I actually went into labor, and everything went wrong at once.

Keep reading

Every Me And Every You - Ten

It was a good few weeks before you and Reid were able to make plans to play again. One of those weeks had been spent on a case in Seattle, and when your down time had come around, Spencer had already had plans to visit his Mom for the weekend.

You’d been more disappointed that you thought you would have been and as you’d dropped Spencer off at his apartment on the way home that nignt, he’d noticed.

“Hey, next two days we get off are ours okay.”


“And use the weekend. I’m betting you’ve not played with any of the things I’ve bought you have you?”

You hadn’t and you told him so.

“Okay so tomorrow, when you’re doing your housework, try doing it with the eggs in. You’ll need to lube them up to get them in, unless of course you have a play before hand. And tomorrow night, I’ll be back at my hotel by 8pm, it’ll be 11pm here. You can always call me and I can talk you through doing some things.”


“Yes…. Things.”

“Crap…. When you told me you’d be out of town, I made plans to go out with Penny and Emily.”

He licked his lips, thinking.

“Okay. Well, we could still play a game of sorts if you like?”

“We can? I’m not fucking going out wearing those love eggs inside of me Spencer.”

“Not with those two you’re not. I meant more of a power game. I tell you what to wear, what to eat and what to drink.”


“I won’t be able to keep checking my phone all night though, they’ll get suspicious.”

“That’s fine, I’ll only require updates every thirty minutes. We can set a rule. If you don’t text every thirty minutes, that’s one strike of punishment against you for next time.”

“Spanking again?”

“Not necessarily. I might add them up and turn them into a larger punishment. Like five strikes equals an hour of you sitting naked with your legs spread, not be allowed to move or speak. Or five strikes would equal one flog. Or maybe, ten strikes would equal half an hour of you riding my mouth.”

You bite your lip feeling that familiar throbbing between your legs.

“How… How is that punishment for me?”

It certainly didn’t sound like it would be.

“Punishment doesn’t always equal something painful Y/N. Just something that not everyone likes to do. You’d be surprised at how many girls would balk at the term ‘sit on my face’. But…. Have you ever had so many orgasms that it’s become painful? Because it definitely can. I’m not sure I could make that happen in thirty minutes but I’ll give it my best shot.”

You guessed he was right. You’d always associated punishment with pain when you were thinking about the BDSM scene. But thinking back to when you were a kid and did some thing wrong punishment then didn’t always equal a smack. In fact it rarely did. More often than not, it was a removal of your dessert or being told to go to bed at an earlier time or having your favourite toys taken away from you. As you got older it meant having your cell confiscated or being grounded.

“So erm, say if I miss the thirty minute deadline a lot, would that mean that I wouldn’t be allowed to go out with Pen and Emily again for a while?” you asked trying to be coy.

“You’re catching on quickly Y/N. That’s exactly what might happen. I need to go, there’s an earlier flight I can get on this evening if I hurry, and you’re proving to be a distraction. I’ll text you tomorrow okay.”


And he had, at around 11am when you’d got back from grocery shopping you had a message from him.

“Got those eggs in yet Agent Y/L/N?”

You hadn’t, but only because you’d been out of the house.

“Not yet, I’ve been running errands. And please don’t call me Agent when you’re talking about stuff like that. It’s been easy working with you so far, and you’re the one who said you didn’t like blurring the lines.”

Not only would it blur the lines, but if he started calling you Agent, you’d end up calling him Dr Reid and for some reason you’d already found that hot before this little…. whatever this was had started.

“Apologies, point taken. Are you home now then? If so, put them in.”

“How will you know if I do or don’t?”

“That can be applied to the whole of today. How will I know if you wear what I tell you, or eat and drink what I say later. Trust. I trust you to behave.“

Behave… Because if you didn’t….

You shivered.

You took your phone into your bedroom and opened the draw you’d piled all of the items he’d bought you into, searching for the love eggs and the lubricant he’d slipped into the basket.

Pulling your jeans and underwear off you sat on your bed and assessed them, reading the instructions.

Okay. Wash them first. Back up off the bed and into your bathroom, washing the silicone balls with warm soapy water and carefully drying them. Back to your bed.

The instructions suggested that inexperienced woman lie down to insert them, and to be careful with the amount of lube you used. After all, the easier they go in, the easier they’ll come out.


Although Spencer had referred to them as love eggs, they were actually more spherical in shape, reminding you of the old stress balls which people would hold in the palms of their hands and rotate. Except these were connected by a pull cord and one was heavier than the other

The instructions advised to insert the none weighted ball first, followed by the heavier one.

You pumped a small amount of lubricant into your palms and rubbed them together, before rubbing the eggs between your hands. See how you go with this much, you can always add more.

Laying back, you spread your legs and pushed gently.

The feeling was weird, almost like something you shouldn’t be doing alone, but you managed to push them in without too much discomfort, the cord hanging loose.

The instructions said to practice your kegal exercises laying down first to get used to the sensation.

Alright. You did, squeezing the muscles you’d use if you needed to stop peeing mid flow.


The squeezing pushed the balls against your sweet spot, sending a pleasant sensation through your core.

People went out wearing these?

Okay… Let’s try to walk around.

You sat up carefully and pulled your underwear and jeans back on. They didn’t slip out when you stood up but you felt definite movement and as you started to walk you were sure you could hear them knocking against each other.

Paranoia perhaps?

“They’re in. It feels weird.” You texted Reid.

“Good girl. Have fun and let me know when you’re getting ready for later.”

You got on with your afternoon, tidying the house and putting away your laundry.

When you were sitting down, you could barely feel them. It was no more noticeable than when you wore tampons when you actually had the occasional period.

When you were walking around and vacuuming for example, there were a few instances where you’d grabbed the edge of a table or chair as they knocked into each other or against a certain sensitive area inside of you. If you felt them slipping, you squeezed on and off a few times and that seem to push them higher, but each time you squeezed, there was that sensation again, juddering against your g spot.

How people wore these all day long and didn’t end up a quivering mess you didn’t know.

When it got to four o clock, you lay back down on your bed and texted Reid to say you were taking them out as you needed a bath and to start getting ready. You were meeting Garcia at an Italian restaurant at seven, and Emily was picking you up on the way.

“Okay. Do something for me? Take a picture of them and send it to me before you wash them.”

Huh? Why?

It became clear though as you pulled them out and then lay them on your bed. The silicone coating was glistening, from your own personal lubricant.

In for a penny, in for a pound.

You took a picture and sent it.

Taking them into the bathroom with you, you dropped them into the sink and filled it, before running a hot bath and climbing in.

Spencer’s reply came twenty minutes later as you were washing your hair.

“I’m very jealous of those eggs, Y/N.”

Fucking hell, man. You almost dropped the phone in the tub.

Pushing it far out of dangers way you combined on with your bathing regime, getting out and wrapping yourself in a towel, smelling of the coconuts body wash you’d used.

Going into your bed room, you surveyed your closet before remembering that Spencer was dictating your outfit to to tonight.

“So what am I wearing then?” You messaged him again.

“If this is your attempt at starting kinky phone sex, I believe it’s meant to start with me asking you to describe what you’re wearing, with the answer hopefully being nothing.”

“No you douche, tonight. What am I wearing tonight?”


“Are we playing?”

“If there’s strikes to be earnt this evening then I’d say yes. But to make things clear, we’ll start when you get to the restaurant okay.”

“Good, so I can call you a douche up until then.”

“I suppose.”

“Lol. Now what am I wearing tonight?”

The reply came a few minutes later.

“Do you still have the jade coloured sundress you were to Rossi’s Fourth of July party two years ago?”

“I do.”

“That, with that black cardigan with the green buttons you wear to work sometimes. Sheer black panty hose and your black heels with the silver buckle. The matching green bra and panty set we bought. Wear your hair half up, half down with simple make up, no lip stick only clear gloss. Pictures please.”

“I thought I was only supposed to wear them with you?”

“You wear them when I tell you to and I’m telling you to. It’s either them, or no underwear. And that dress is pretty thin material.”

“I’ll wear them. I’ll send a picture when I’m done.”

You got ready, blow drying and straightening your hair and following his instructions. When you were done you surveyed yourself in the mirror. He had pretty good taste, you looked nice.

You took a few photos, one of you fully clothed, and another two showing the underwear you were wearing, your dress lifted up and the v of the top half pulled down to prove you’d followed his instructions to the t. You pressed send, just as your buzzer signalling that Prentiss was outside sounded.

Collecting your purse you went down to meet Emily, climbing into the cab besides her.


“Hey! You look nice,” she greeted you.

“Thanks, so do you.” You felt your phone buzz, tilting the screen slightly when you saw it was Spencer.

“Very nice. Beautiful and sexy in fact. Just remember one thing. Whilst we’re embarking on this little road to discovery, you are mine. You’ll attract attention dressed as you are, because you look stunning. But until you call this off, I’m the only one who will be allowed near your body, I’m the only one who you can think about fucking, the only one who is allowed to make you come other than yourself. You are mine. Understood?”

Loud and clear.



“Good. Now let me know when you’re at the restaurant. I’ll expect a text every thirty minutes, even if it’s just a message to say ‘checking in’. That will do. Miss a check in and that’s a strike. Understood?”

“Understood.” You locked you phone and slipped it back into your bag.

“Everything okay? You look a bit flushed.” Emily commented.

“Fine! All good. Just a little warm.” You made a show of winding down the window slightly.

Tonight was going to be interesting.

Cheer Up Buttercup

Prompt: Grayson’s been down lately so you spend the day showering him in compliments

A/N: So I’m a totally Dolan Twins fanatic and their Coachella posts have got me in my feels so I decided to write an imagine based on Grayson so, I hope you guys enjoy ♡

warnings: Pretty crappy and horrible time skip transitions so my apologies. 

You sat at the counter, twisting left and right as you ate your bagel. You kept glancing up at Grayson who stood at the stove, making pancakes for him and Ethan with his back to you. 

The twins had asked you the week prior if you would go shopping with them for Coachella, and you accepted, always grateful to help people out. But, as soon as Ethan let out inside the apartment and you caught a glimpse of Grayson, you automatically knew something was wrong, by the way his shoulders slouched and his eyes were constantly looking down.

You of course asked him if he was okay and he mumbled a yes, kissing your head before going to make breakfast; you didn’t believe him one bit. 

Through the whole time of dating Grayson, you have never seen him upset. You’ve seen him angry, embarrass, and of course those occasional sad moments while watching a movie, but him and Ethan both were always so upbeat and happy. This, was something new for you. 

You sat your bagel down, taking your phone out your pocket and opening snapchat. 

“Whoa Gray! Look at you cooking without your shirt!”

Grayson turned around at the sound of you speaking his name, seeing you sitting there with a grin as you angled your phone at him. He couldn’t help but to grin back, a spike of happiness at your compliment and happy face.

“Thanks babe,”

Graysons happy mood lasted through breakfast, but it quickly vanished when you guys slid into the car. You sat in the back, laughing as Ethan went crazy with his dace moves, doing his best to keep control of the wheel in the process. 

Grayson was leaning against the door, gazing out the window silently. 

You guys pulled up the mall and you all got out. Ethan went ahead of you two, excited to shop. Grayson slowly followed him and you ran up, grabbing a hold of his hand.

“You look good today,” you said, “I mean, you look good everyday. Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you not looking good. Even in those horrible looking screenshots, you look good,”

Grayson smiled, looking at you as you stared in front of you, rambling on about his appearance. He squeezed your hand, planting a kiss on your cheek.

“You look good too Y/N,”

The shopping portion went rather well. You gave the boys your opinions on their outfits and helped them throw some stuff together, while finding some stuff for yourself; you also made sure to throw compliments at Grayson about his hair every now and than just to see him smile at you. You helped take pictures of them with some fans and some even asked for you to join in the photo as well, which made you happy.  Now, the three of you were sitting in the food court. 

“Thanks for tagging along Y/N,” Ethan said through a mouthful of food. You smiled at him, shrugging a bit.

“Yeah of course. I’m always glad to help. You guys, are gonna look great at Coachella. Cameron too,” 

“And, it’s all because of you,” Grayson said making you smile at him.

“It’s a shame you can’t go with us, but I’m sure New York will be even better,” Ethan said before standing up, “I gotta pee so I’ll be right back,” 

You watched as he walked away before looking back at Grayson who sat across from you. He picked at his food, his mood and expression changing within a second. You pulled out your phone, doing your best to not make it noticeable when you snapped a few pictures of him; of course he noticed.

“Why are you taking pictures of me?” He asked, raising an eyebrow as he looked up at you.

“I couldn’t help it, you’re very pretty,” You said still looking down at your phone. 

Grayson grinned for about the thousandth time at your thousandth compliment since this morning. 

“I like when you smile. It makes me happy,” you said, looking up at him finally. 

“I’m always smiling,” 

“That would explain why I’m always happy,” 

The two of you stared at each other happily. Grayson opened his mouth to tell you something, but was cut off by Ethan running back over.

“Yo Gray, some of the guys are here. They wanna hang for a bit,” He exclaimed before looking at you. “You don’t mind do you Y/N? Being the only girl?”

You shook your head, “Nah. Of course not,” You and Grayson stood, throwing out your trash and following Ethan towards their friends. 

Grayson still seemed pretty down, even with the guys being around. He held onto your hand tightly and you listened to their conversations, laughing along to some jokes. They’d constantly bring you in, not wanting you to feel left out, but you didn’t mind just listening. 

You heard Grayson sigh quietly and you slowed down your walking pace, him doing the same with out questioning. You waited until the others were out of hearing range before speaking.

“What’s wrong?” you asked, glancing at Graysons now serious expression. 

“What? Nothing,” 

You stopped, causing him to stumble at the sudden action of you jerking him. He looked at your concern expression and sighed.

“Are you sure you can’t come to Coachella? I can pay for you and I’ll also pay for another concert ticket for you and Y/B/F,” 

“Gray,” you said sighing, “I told you I was fine with not going. You guys are already paying for Cameron to go, plus I want you to have fun for once without me tagging along,”

“But, it won’t be fun without you,” he said frowning.

“Is this why you’ve been so upset? Because I’m not going to Cochella?”

He sighed, “It’s not just that. You’re gonna be in New York which is across the country. I’m afraid you’re gonna like it better there and not want to come back or you’re gonna run into some hot, 23 year old model and fall in love,” 

“First of all, that’s illegal because I’m underage and second of all you’re a hot model Gray. You don’t think I’m upset about you staying here in LA while I’m somewhere else? You’re gonna be surrounded by all these smoking hot girls-”

“You’re a smoking hot girl!”

“I meant girls hotter than me, and I’m paranoid that you’re gonna run into some hot 23 year old model and fall in love,”

“That’s illegal because I’m underage,” 

You rolled your eyes at him throwing your own words back at you. 

“I’m serious Y/N!” He exclaimed, “It happens in movies all the time!”

You reached up, grabbing his face and bringing his lips to yours. Grayson was caught by surprise, but quickly kissed back, wrapping his arms tightly around you. You two finally pulled away in a time span that didn’t feel like enough.


“I might need a few more,” 

You laughed, nudging him a bit, “Later, right now we need to find the guy,”

He groaned, but took your hand away mumbling as he pulled you along.

“There you two are! Where have you guys been?” Ethan asked as you two got closer.

“We got distracted by something, sorry” You said.

“ You okay Grayson? Your face is pretty red,” 

Grayson glanced at you before looking at his brother, smiling.

“Never been better,” 

Holland Family Head Cannon

In this HC you’re younger than tom but older than the twins


- growing up, Nikki and Dom would take the family on road trips.
• massive van of seven people is way too much
• “get your ass out of my face”
• “stop poking me”
• “are they my headphones?! Give them back!”
• “Ohmygod kids shut up. Why don’t we play the silent game?”
• everyone has played the silent game before

- mid road trip Nikki would find some nice walks along the way
• “it’s only two kilometres kids. It’s just a quick stroll. Exercise is good for you.”
• quick my ass
• Harry would stop every two seconds to take a photo
• Paddy would probably get lost whilst playing hide and seek tbh
• “I’m stuck behind the log!”
• “for Christ sake, help your brother out.”

- back in the car you’d play eye spy and all those cheesy games
• “I spy with my little eye some that is green.”
• “GRASS!”
• “I spy with my little eye something beginning with T. Ha you guys are never going to get this one.”
• like five minutes later everyone gives up
• “okay tell us Harry, what was it?”
• “a train.”
• “bro we haven’t seen a train for like twenty minutes.”
• “exactly, that’s why I said you’d never get it!”

- you’d get car sick (side note, I get sick everywhere).
• “Mum. Dad. Can you pull over?”
• “Why?”
• “too late.”
• you’d vomit on Tom’s lap
• you guys were tight
• Nikki would make you sit in the front for the rest of the trip

- toilet breaks like every five minutes I swear to god
• “I need to pee.”
• “but we made a stop two minutes ago.”
• “but I didn’t need to go then.”
• “okay, does anyone else need to go to the bathroom?”

- Snacks galore
- Movies 
- Random Trivia facts said by Sam as you travelled down the highway
- Dad jokes from Dom

- You’d be the first to fall asleep
• seriously, you loved sleep

• but you had this skill, that when Dom parked the car you’d be wake that very second

- the ride home was always hella quiet cos you were sick of each other
- secretly, you weren’t and you wanted to do it all over again
- as you got older, Nikki and Dom allowed you guys to spend the week together, driving around.
- boy was that chaos

- Okay, Lip Sync Battle
- you’d sit in your lounge room, the whole family there
- “I was thinking Britney Spears or Rihanna”
- if you danced, Tom would make sure you danced with him.
- a twirl, or something
- maybe a grind just to piss him off cos you were siblings
- “if anyone’s gonna grind on me, it should be (Y/N)”

- he’d take you to red carpet events
• make up was flawless
• honestly, tom would just want to get out of there because he’d rather take his whole family instead of one member
• you’d sit at the table with him
• “can I start eating yet? I’m hungry.”
• “look it Chris Hemsworth can we go say hi?”
• “I need to pee. You need to help me lift up my dress.”
• tom would roll his eyes
• “I’m taking Mum as my date next time”

• You’d keep him the most grounded
• you’d send him photos of your day
• the raining weather
• the clear skies
• ‘Tom guess what I did today?’
• ‘tell me’
• 'I made banana bread’.

- he’d always ask you how school was
• he’d help you practise
• if you didn’t get the score you wanted, you felt bad and wouldn’t Skype, text or call him, you felt disappointed like you let him down
• tom would catch on

- he’d be so proud of his younger sister
• secretly his favourite
• 'but you spent twenty minutes talking to (Y/N)! I want to speak to you now.“
• poor Paddy missing out

- if you were very sexualised or if you revived threats, in person or online
• believe me, one quick call to marvel and all was settled
• there was a slight security issue though, because someone you went to school with leaked where you were staying with Tom in Montreal and fans freaked out and people followed you around.
• it made you nervous
• you and Tom were in lock down for a couple of days
• although it was scary, you had Tom
• if the twins were with you as well, you’d play games
• jenga, cluedo, snap, celebrity heads
• “I wanna write one for tom.”
• you’d write Tom Holland
• “ha you’ll never get this.”
• “is it Spider-Man?”
• “no, but close though”
• you’d never play monopoly because that game is competitive af

- if you ever went to a bar, he’d help you find guys
• “what about that dude by the bar?”
• “uhm no way. Do you see those shoes? Gross. Come on you can do better.”
• “what about that blonde guy, I like his blue eyes.”
• “he looks like Harrison, so no.”

- Harrison was off limits

- because you were both so close in age, you were used to sharing things
- although bickering always came with it
• “did you use my cup again?”
• “is that my shirt?”
• “I told you to stop using my towel.”
• “what would Mum say when she finds out that you did this?”
• “I told you three drinks ago to stop drinking.”
• “that was my bowl of fruit loops!”

- would you rather was always played.
• “apples or pears”
• “iron man or Spider-Man”
• “night or day”
• fmk but with Tom’s friends
• “okay, fuck Harrison, marry Harrison’s or kill Harrison.”
• “choose wisely (Y/N) because I’m right here.”
• Harrison would be over every second day.
• honestly, every argument became a debate
• the silent treatment

- Harry would actually be the best at advice and you’d always take him shopping
• he needed tips
• “okay, so when a girl says 'does my bun look big in these jeans you say…’”
• “no”

- going to all of Paddys sports
• “Yes Paddy! Kick that goal. Suck on that!”
• “oh my god (Y/N). You’re embarrassing me.”

- Sam would consistently annoy you
• “come check this out.”
• “come play x-box with me.”
• “you can be peach.”
• “pleeaaase help me bake, I’m trying to impress this girl at school.”

- oh okay, so you’d totally be School captain and you’d drag the twins along to everything
• although with all their extra credit they’d also become captains
• “I’m not going to another stupid -”
• “I’ll give you ten pounds.”
• “deal.”

- if you didn’t see each other in weeks, you’d all make sure to spend time with each other
• movie nights were massive
• chick flicks, ie mean girls
• popcorn
• you’d talk and catch up during it and only watch half the movie
• but that’s what you loved about your family
• whenever you were together, you always had fun

Photographs | A Dave East & Sevyn Streeter Short

Angry wasn’t the word. Falon was livid, but that was more so due to the fact her day was shitty and now to top it off she was locked out of her apartment. How she had managed to misplace her keys was beyond her because she definitely had them when she had left the apartment this morning. Of course, her good for nothing roommate wasn’t home and didn’t care to answer her phone or respond back to any of her text messages that her iPhone marked as delivered. The cheery on top of  the cake, she had to use the bathroom. Hearing footsteps she looked up from her spot on the floor. It wasn’t her roommate, but her next door neighbor. They only knew each other in passing, occasionally throwing a smile each others way along with some general pleasantries, but that was the extent of their relationship. That was gonna change today all in the name of Falon not peeing on herself.

“Can I use your bathroom? I’m locked out and I don’t -”

“Yeah, ma.”

“It’s Falon,” she said correcting him.

These NY dudes and their slang. The term ma irked her soul because for one she was no one’s mother. Try explaining that to them and they’d fill your head with lies about how it was a term of endearment. Silly niggas.


Rising from her spot on the floor he opened the door with Falon behind him. Her eyes took in his apartment, immediately noting the different layout his held. She was kinda jealous. His apartment was much nicer and no doubt his rent showed that.

“Bathroom’s right there.” He said pointing her in the direction.

“Thanks. Can you hold this for me real quick?”

Keep reading

Castle Ficlet: And a Snuggie Makes Three 1/1

And a Snuggie Makes Three

A post-8x22 follow-up ficlet to Snuggie Love for @i-prefer-west-side.

“Okay, we have popcorn, we have chocolate, and we have picked our movies,” he lists, transferring everything to the tray on the counter and looking around. “Anything else?”

His wife grumbles from the next room. “No. Now come on. You promised a movie night, Castle; at this rate, I’ll fall asleep before we even get started.”

Snickering, Rick lifts the tray off the counter. She has been dozing off pretty early lately. With good reason, of course, but he can still tease. “On my way.”

“Thank you,” she exhales, muttering something he can’t quite catch as he makes his way across the living room.

He starts to ask what she’d said, but as he slips between the bookshelves of their office, his footsteps stutter and the words die on his lips. Oh, this is good.

He won’t draw attention to it, won’t say a word, but he does take a moment to marvel at her.

He knows she uses it; more than once he’d seen the fabric bundled at the end of her old couch, like she had been snuggled underneath and had hastily thrown it off in her haste to answer the door, and after they started dating, she had brought it out and pulled it across her legs while she read. But he’s never seen her using it this way.

This time, his wife is wearing the Snuggie he’d sewn for her years ago as it was always intended to be worn: arms in the sleeves, Velcroed shut at the back, her legs covered to her propped feet.

“Our treats are served,” Rick singsongs, lowering the tray to the table in front of her. “Do the honors and I’ll be right back,” he adds, watching Kate’s face light up only to twist in confusion.

“Wait, where are you going?” she asks, catching his wrist before he can get too far.

He grins. “I gotta get mine out of the closet.”

“Your–” she stops, only to glance down at herself and sigh. “Do not make fun of me. I was cold.”

Twisting his hand to capture hers, he shakes his head. “I wouldn’t dream of it, Kate. I just want to match.” He squeezes her fingers, slipping away. He’s halfway across the room before he adds, “And then I’m gonna take a picture of us and put it on the internet.”

“Richard Castle, I will kill you.”

“Somehow I doubt that,” he taunts, dragging his own blanket with sleeves from its spot on a shelf. He slips into it with an ease he hadn’t been able to muster a couple of months ago, reaching behind his head and around his back to fasten the Velcro before returning to her. “You want to keep me around; you’ve told me so.”

“That was then,” she retorts, crossing her arms over her chest. “Keep pushing and we’ll see how committed I am to that now.”

He sinks beside her, brandishing his phone to snap a few shots he never truly intends for the world to see. He just likes seeing her snug and warm, despite the early autumn heat wave the city is enduring. “I think I’ll take my chances.”

Kate sticks her tongue out, but loops her arm through his and acquiesces to the next photo he takes. It’s not half bad, even with the face she’s making, and he catches her smiling at their images when he shows her the preview.

“One more,” she concedes, nudging his arm up. “Make it a good one if it’s going on twitter.”

Touching his grin to her hair, he takes one final picture. “It’s not. Now, weren’t you ready to start the movie a few minutes ago?”

Beckett bumps him with her shoulder, finding the remote between their bodies to put an end to the looping DVD menu. After another minute of rearranging, of bringing their snacks closer and worming his Snuggie-covered arm around her shoulders, they settle in to enjoy the movie.

At least until Kate grumbles, using him for leverage to get to her feet.

“Pause?” he asks, touching her hip with a steadying hand. She waves him off, already moving toward their bedroom.

“I’ll be quick.”

Sure enough, she’s back just a few minutes later, sinking into the cove of his body once more. Rick pulls her closer, trailing his fingers down her arm.

“Everything okay?” he asks. She hates that question, has sniped at him so many times for asking, but he can’t always curb the urge to protect her where he can. They’ve been through so much; he needs to know she isn’t in pain, isn’t wanting for something he has the power to provide, even if it’s nothing more than comfort.

To his surprise, Kate just nods. “All good. Just had to pee again.”

“Good.” He slips his hand into the front pocket of her Snuggie, flattening his palm over the gentle swell of her belly, the life they’d created and nearly lost in the spring, the extraordinary reason for their low-key movie nights and fervent hope.

Kate chuckles against his collar. “You’ve been dying to do that all night, haven’t you?”

“Mhmm,” his lips pucker in her hair. “Since the moment I saw you were wearing it. How often do you wear it, by the way?”

His wife laughs, squeezing his hand through the fleece. “Since I’ve been on this round of bed rest? Nearly every day. See what you miss when you go off to do your real job?”

“Well, luckily, that’s not something I have to do again until after Christmas.”

“Mmm, lucky for you,” Kate teases, tapping his jaw with gentle fingers.

His thumb caresses her belly, making soft circles through the fleece. “What can I say? I’m the luckiest alive,” he murmurs, pressing his mouth to hers.

Prompt: A post-couple sequel in which they have matching Snuggies and they snuggle together in them.

Three Bears | Part 8

Request from Anonymous: Hello. I love your Tumblr! May I request a mini-series where you and are taking care of your three children (2 girls, 1 son) in Superman Returns (a korean television series). Could you also add a part where Jay wants another boy to make it equal , may be a lil smut. Thank you.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

A/N: Personally I would love to do another part to this series so if you agree with me and would love to continue reading, please let me know :D Otherwise, this will be the final part for this series. 

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It all started on the 10th of December when my sister ( @the-hotel-california) and I would be going to Taylor’s first Melbourne show of the 1989 Tour. We got our hair down and make up done because we wanted to treat ourselves because we planned a girls day. My hairdresser and make up artists both said to me to make sure I tag them in the photo if I meet Taylor. I was like ‘Okay…that’s sooo not gonna happen but anyway!’ We met so many people from tumblr and the Melbourne Swifties facebook team (made by @shedreamsimpossibledreams) and that made me soooo happy! We were dancing our heart out to Vance Joy (because he’s from Melbourne as well and I fully support his amazing music.) We were having a blast! Then Tay came on and I couldnt really see from my seats, even though I was on the floor, people had signs everywhere blocking our view….smh. But I was going to the next two shows so I didn’t care that much, I let them have their fun. Anyway, we didn’t get loft and I got sooooo many messages of support on tumblr saying ‘Im so upset you didn’t meet her, you deserved to meet her, wish you met her.’ And that made me happy that you guys were so nice to me!!! I wasn’t upset, more upset I couldn’t see Taylor from my view but oh well! 

Then comes December 11, I was getting ready and my boyfriend ( @89taylorswift) was planning to come to my house at 1:30pm. We had shirts made of the ‘best boyfriend ever’ tweet that Taylor made late last year when 1989 came out. We didn’t think she would be doing a loft 89 that night but we just wanted to dress up into something fun anyway. So Nicholas and my Mum were sitting at the dining table and as I usually do I checked my tumblr. I refreshed the page and my IMs came up (which I never usually check) and I see a message from the user @taylorswift!!!! IT WAS TN ASK ME FOR ME AND MY BOYFRIENDS DETAILS AND PHONE NUMBER!!!! I screamed so loud, I have never screamed that loud before. I remember my mum panicking and asking ‘NATALLIYA WHO DIED, IS IT BAD, WHO DIED WHO DIED’ and she was close to tears because she thought someone had passed away (awww mummy.) ‘MUM TAYLOR’S MANAGEMENT TEAM ARE ASKING FOR MY DETAILS!!!!’ My mum started crying and Nicholas was so silent, he was on shock!  

 At 2:00pm, I got a No Caller ID phone call and it was Sierra!!! Calling me all the way from Nashville!!!! She was so lovely and sweet on the phone and told me that Taylor wants to meet “The famous Nat and Nick!” I thanked her a billion times, and she said she has been trying to get a hold of me since 8am Nashville time, and it was currently 9pm in Nashville. She said I would get a pre meet & greet ticket and would have to arrive at the venue at 4:00pm. I quickly got Taylor a present and a card and was so happy i was running down the street yelling “IM MEETING TAYLOR SWIFT.” Then I got a missed call, and it was Sierra saying she had a change of plans and for me to call her back ASAP. It was a No Caller ID so I couldn’t call her back :((((. But then she called my boyfriend and explained that now I may be meeting Taylor right before the show or right after, and people from TN would come collect me right before Vance Joy comes on and to stay seated in my seats. (she also took down my seat numbers and what not.)


I met so many amazing people, gorgeous followers of mine came up to me and asked for photos and it was adorable!! I loved that sooo so much! And Ruby gave me chocolates that said ‘Merry Christmas Nat’ because I got her a Taylor follow and honestly she is so sweet i love her! And @swiftmasofrph was there too! She was so sweet and sent me the manip she made for my birthday! ahhh i met so many gorgeous people!!! Anyway, people kept asking me to go to the TN booth so I can meet people from Tumblr but Vance was coming on soon and I couldn’t risk it. Before Vance got on, I really needed to pee so I was like “Nicholas i gotta go, call me if anything happens.” So i was rushing around the stadium and also met some people from Tumblr and Im so sorry if I looked flustered and looked like I didnt want to talk to you! Because I was stressing so much! Anyway, I got back and no one had came yet. So @89taylorswift and I decided that it wasn’t going to be happening anymore. 

Taylor started playing I Wish you Would, and Nicholas and I were jamming so hard! Then all of a sudden we see a lady coming through the row of our seats, but we thought she was just trying to get to her seats. As she got closer, i moved back so she could fit through but she grabbed me and Nicholas by the shoulder and was like ‘You Nat and Nick?’ and we were like ‘YAAAS!’ and she was like ‘Have you met Taylor before????’ and we were like ‘GOD NO OMG’ and she was like ‘Taylor requested to meet you and come and get you, You’re going to loft 89!’ and she stuck the wristbands on us and I gave her a hug! I was shaking so much my bum cheeks were literally shaking. And Nicholas’ hands were going crazy he, was totally in shock! The lady next to us was telling us congratulations and also a girl I use to go to school with (Amy) was in my row and she said ‘Im so happy for you! Have fun!’

LOFT 89:

 @olivia-oblivious and @swiftlyfindingmyplaceinthisworld  also got loft and it was great cause we had already met before and everyone was all so nice! We were walking back stage and Taylor’s bandmates walked past and saw Liv (she looks so much like Tay) and they were all like ‘wtf Taylor???!!!’ It was soooo funny! And everyone borrowed my perfume because we all didn’t want to smell in front of Taylor (everyone in loft was so so sweet!.) 

We got told that we could only take one picture per group and not to film, and we lined up to meet Taylor in a booth in loft 89. Nicholas and I were 4th in line and I wasn’t shaking at all (I felt like I was dreaming.) TN took my phone and then we walked in. There she is. Standing in a cute fall aesthetic outfit. Grey skin tight sweater, with green tinged pants. She opened her arms and ran to me and said ‘HEY BUDDY! THEY FOUND YOU!’ and at the same time I yelled ‘HEYYYYYY GURRRRRRRRLLLL!’ I gave her such a big hug and felt her spine hahahahahah and I honestly thought she would be soooo much taller but she was only 5 cm taller than me. She had her hands on my shoulders and was like ‘Its so good to finally meet you!’ and then she hugged Nicholas and was like ‘Omgsh hey!!’  “You guys are the cutest!” she said to us. I was like ‘Omsgh thank you so much for wanting to meet me!’ and then she began to say “Omgsh I know you were at the show last night, you cried didn’t you last night?” and I was like “wait…who me??? No?” and she was like “I saw on your blog that you were crying and you were really upset weren’t you?” and I was like ‘Omg NO NO NOT ME, I WAS NOT UPSET!’ and she was like “no I swear you were, or was it someone else? Oh wait no It was people sending you messages saying how they were upset that i didn’t meet you!” (and then she started to gesture like typing on a computer it was so cute) And i was like ‘yeah I know I get a lot of people messaging me that they were upset about it all’ and she was like ‘You know what. You are so nice.’ (I feel like she’s referring to the advice I give my followers.) and I was like ‘You’re so gorgeous’ and she was like ‘So are you dude!’ (she called me dude hahahahahah.) And then she was like “I am really trying to meet as many people on the tour as possible,  I have so many people I want to meet but its been so hard because im so busy and stuff” and I was like ‘don’t worry, i totally understand. It’s not your fault!’ and she was like ‘I look online when I can and try to find people, I have so many people I plan on meeting tomorrow. (which is tonight.)’ and then I said “Oh you must have seen my outfit post so many times, I make Nicholas reblog it” and she said ‘yes yes, I did see it haha, It’s just so hard to find everyone ya know?It was so hard to find you guys last night. Are you coming to anymore shows?’ and I explained I’m going again tomorrow with my sister. Then TN started asking ‘Okay let’s take a picture!’ and she totally ignored them and turned her back towards them being all sassy like *yalll i wanna talk to my fans.* And then I said to her “I just have one thing to say, you have to re-do the entire Speak Now World Tour again” and she was like “THE ENTIRE THING???” and I was like yes “THE WHOLE THING!” and she said “BUT I DONT WANT TOOOOO, i’d have to grow out my hair and get the curls again” and I said to her ‘Curls get the gurls!’ She then told me “I dont even know what Im gonna do next I have no idea!” and I said that she should go ‘indie/folk’ and she was like ‘Omgsh!!!! really??” and then started laughing so hard. And then TN asked to take a picture again, and so she was like “okay, and so she grabbed me and Nicholas” and I was like ‘wait can we do this kind of photo?’ and she was like ‘Oh so good you have something planned!’ so we took the photo. And she went to hug me and thank me and then she saw Nicholas’ shirt and was like “That is amazing, you are both so gorgeous and sweet and look so cute” and then TN started to walk us out, and she then ran up to me to give me another hug goodbye. It was insane.