the only funny part

I’m almost too lazy to make this post because God it’s just so self explanatory but my loyalty to Temari runs too deep so here goes: 

They did exactly what I called they were gonna do and made her an over aggressive nagging house wive. This is why I complained over and over again three years ago when I saw they had moved her to Konoha because I KNEW someway somehow they were going to subject her character to this. They want her to be Yoshino 2.0 even though that’s NEVER been who she is because “lmao get it Shikamaru is just like his dad! Parallels!!”. They don’t take the time to think about how her character would actually react because none of that matters now - she exists solely to be Shikamaru’s wife. 

Some people are crying “abuse!” at what she did but I don’t really want to go there tbh. It’s very clear that in the Naruto universe things we find abusive are just par for the course. Calling out Temari in this instance would require we call out basically ever other female character which is not realistic. Domestic violence in Naruto is always played for laughs which is obviously fucked up but not something I think it’s fair to fault the characters for as we’re not intended to see it as abusive (even though realistically it is). No, what I really take issue with is the fact that being an overbearing and strict mother/wife is basically all Temari is given to do. 

This woman was born in one of the most fucked up situations of any character we see. He father was a walking human disaster, her mother was dead, and her youngest brother had a nasty habit of slaughtering anyone who looked at him the wrong way. She has always been strong and confident but throughout the series she softens considerably as she learns caring is not a weakness. She is a better diplomat than either of her brothers and remains calm and collected in even the tensest of situations. Her dynamic with Shikamaru has always been one of mutual respect and understanding which is what makes their relationship work so well (and IMO better than any of the canon relationships we got). Yes, Temari is a take no shit kind of person who probably WOULD chastise her son for his pitiful behavior - but not in the way we’re shown. In Boruto her parenting method basically amounted to “I’m just going to hit you and intimidate you until you get the picture and ultimately just end up listening to your cooler nicer wiser dad.” She doesn’t actually say anything of significance to Shikadai at all - that is reserved entirely for Shikamaru as he’s the influential one in their sons life. Temari is just there to be the ol’ ball-and-chain ~what a drag~ mom whose only dominion is the house she is confined to. THEN there’s the fact that Temari refusing to make dinner inevitably meant neither Shikamaru nor Shikadai could eat - as if a grown man could not make his own dinner and HAD to have his wife do it because it’s her domestic ~duty~. This is extra and dramatic but it actually makes me sick that they’re doing this to her. After everything she went through she would have something worthwhile to add to the conversation other than “bah you’re too easy on him I’m going to withhold meals to prove a point!!!”. She doesn’t treat her brothers like this and they’re consistently shown to value her opinion because her opinion is worth hearing. 

Temari played a crucial role in Suna politics prior to the end of the series. She sat on the council and came with Gaara to all the kage summits/meetings. She was one of the best kunoichi in the series just brimming with potential and strength and ferocity. During the war I began to get annoyed with how much they were making her revolve around Shikamaru’s character because after a certain point basically all her dialogue was in relation to him. That’s when I knew things were about to take a hard left turn for shits-ville and boy was I right. In chapter 700 ALL we see her doing is sitting in a house chastising her son and serving her brothers tea before they head out to a kage meeting without her. We don’t get any indication that she’s still affiliated with Suna, hell we don’t even get any indication that she’s still a ninja. In the boruto manga/movie she doesn’t interact with her siblings ONCE and is not with them in the pit with all the other Kage/advisors. I was happy to see she still had her fan but other than that I left highly unimpressed. Now in the anime she is ONCE AGAIN pictured in a house, serving people drinks and nagging away as if that’s all she’s good for anymore. I know it was played as a joke but that’s exactly what makes me so mad - her character has become nothing more than a trope meant to appeal to the lowest common denominator. The nagging housewive angle truly is the lowest hanging fruit but studio peirrot really could not resist could they.

Nevermind the fact that it would have been way funnier had they subverted the whole “why did you marry such a strict woman” thing by having Shikadai side with his mom instead, saying something to the effect of “why did you marry such an unmotivated slacker”. Can we stop treating Temari like she’s just an overly aggressive loaded gun that’s just one mistep away from going off. I mean I genuinely love Shikatema but I do not think the Boruto anime understands Shikatema. Part of me still wishes they just hadn’t got together because they don’t actually feel like “them” when they’re portrayed like this. No one is being respected as a character. 

Anyway all this to say I’m basically done with the Boruto anime now. I might still watch the next couple of episodes because curiosity is gonna get the better of me but emotionally I have severed all connections. It just comes down to the fact that I cannot handle them so grossly mischaracterizing characters that I have loved since I was 11 years old. I actually don’t mind the new gen when they’re on their own but every damn time they show one of the original characters they manage to fuck them up in some way. We see it with Temari, with Naruto, with Yamato, with Sakura. Hell I can’t stand Sasuke and even I’m mad about what they did to him post chapter 699. I am never going to like the new gen characters more than the original cast so if watching Boruto means seeing them get completely decimated then I’m not gonna watch it. Simple as that. Naruto being an absent father is the worst crime but I have no doubt they’ll continue to top that in future episodes. 

  • psychic: *reads my mind*
  • me: i came out to my parents when they discovered gay porn on my computer while i was at my friend nicole's house choreographing a hip hop dance. i was shocked because i thought they already knew but I got a call while i was like mid shoulder brush from my mother being like, "where are you?" and i was like, "i'm at nicole's house!" and she was like, "you need to come home now." and i went home- i can't believe i'm telling this story. anyway i went home, we finished the dance, she drove me home in her infinity SUV. and i walk into the house, it is pitch black and i just see the like back-lit shadow of my mother in the corner of the kitchen just like......she brings me down, and rather than like just having like a nice "let's talk about this" like she starts like bringing up, she starts like opening up all the websites, and i don't know what to do and i'm just going "uh ew! what is that? that's disgusting!" meanwhile i'm like "yeah tuesday, wednesday, thursday, i didn't do anything, but friday. and then my dad comes down in like his tighty whiteys and he's like "bran, if it's yours just tell us." and then, they found- well hold on, hold on. they found like this weird fax like a document, that nobody recognized and i was like "well! obviously someone's hacked into our computer!" and they believed me
  • psychic: *slow claps* oh wow

Fem!Mint Yoongi feat. Unnecessary Space Background

The A-mew-sing Sequel To Adrien’s Game

This time, there are only four episodes covered but a lot of pictures so I’m adding a “read more”…eventually.  Also, Ladybug is on Netflix!  Go watch.  Here we go with the next four eps!

The last time we left our boy Adrien, he was developing his flirting technique with the lovely Marinette.  Or not.  It’s fun to speculate though, right?  Right?!

…ANYway, let’s see how he tops the almost kiss.

 In “Darkblade” (Le Chevalier Noir):

  • Marinette decides to run against Chloe for class something-or-other
  • To the utter delight of 95% of the class
  • That’s right man, just play it cool…
  • CASUAL FINGER GUNS and AMBIGUOUS SUPPORT!!!


In “The Mime” (Le Mime):

  • Hey, I didn’t know y’all were gonna be here too lol!
  • Smooth move, dude.  Just play it off like you had NO IDEA.

Our cat son heats things up below the cut!

Keep reading

line distribution for the Chinese version of monster

SM: If only we had a Chinese member who could sing some of the Chinese parts in the Chinese version of Monster…

Yixing

Yixing:

Yixing: What abou- 

SM: No.

when ppl say part 1 jojo is so boring im like ????

did we watch the same thing?

so much happened in such a short amount of time its so fast paced and its bam! tragedy! bam! tragedy! like a soap opera. none of the characters had a chance to catch their breath and the situations kept escalating

“Ah…that was my title once, long ago. Now, I’m the Ten Commandments’ Gloxinia of Repose.”

Little disclaimer, I fucking love Petra okay? I`m not against shipping her with Levi or trying to hate on her character, this is all an excuse for me to write Levi being hopelessly in love and jealous!Petra is one of my guilty pleasures. Petra is a sweet angel and doesn`t deserve the suffering I put her though, that is all u-u 

AO3 Version

______________________________________________________________

When Eren had been thrust into their squad, she’d thought nothing of him. Yes, he was handsome and new, but it wasn’t something she, as devoted to Levi as she was, took notice of.

She should have noticed the lingering looks Levi kept sending him, the shy glances he got in return.

She should have noticed the way the Corporal helped him off his horse when they’d arrived at that castle, despite him being entirely able.

Should have noticed the charged air between them, when they’d disappeared without a trace for an entire night to tend to the horses that had already been tended to that morning.

Maybe she could have prepared, but she was too sure, too blinded.

And because of that, too late.

E♡L

Petra seethed silently as Eren scooted closer to Corporal Levi, he may as well have been in his lap! And the dark haired man wasn’t even protesting, she was beginning to think he’d actually let the young brunette do it! Levi was telling an intricate story of he and Hanji getting into something or other and normally she’d be enthralled by it, but ever since Eren found his way into their squad, he threw it all to hell. Now instead of Levi glancing at her when a particularly funny part was told, his eyes were only for Eren.

Eren who laughed genuinely at nearly every joke, and who got away with calling out the bad ones.

Eren who had Levi’s apt attention, had the man leaning over towards him to whisper little details of the tale no one else was allowed to hear, had him giving a twitch of his lips every time he got another pretty laugh from the teen.

Levi was absolutely enraptured, it was easy to tell.

And Petra was absolutely livid.

E ♡ L

She knew it was wrong, to dislike Eren for something he’d had no control over, how was he to know that Levi would find him so much more charming than she, would want him so quickly. She certainly hadn’t.

Nevertheless, she did dislike him for it, and it showed. She knew he felt the shift in her treatment of him, how she would ignore him entirely if it was just the two of them, and throw undeserved remarks poorly disguised as jokes when in front of others.

She knew that eventually he’d tell his beloved superior about it, but she didn’t expect to be called to the man’s office only minutes later. That wiped the meanspirited smirk right off her face.

He’d stared her down like she’d was a titan he was ready to strike to the ground. And Eren , sweet, innocent Eren, stood guiltily at his side, he looked so pretty in the warm backlight of dusk. She hated it.

Had he come here, tears in his big doe eyes, and poured his hurt heart out to his Corporal? Had Levi taken him into his arms and soothed his sniffles and vowed to take care of it? Kissing, petting, snuggling, doing everything in his power to appease his boy?

“Petra, Eren tells me he’s being treated like a steaming pile of shit, why is that?” Levi asked her darkly.

“Are you sure he isn’t overreacting, sir? He can be a bit of a crybaby.” She answered cheekily, a confused smile on her face. Levi’s face only darkened further.

“This is exactly what I mean, how was that necessary?” He asks her lowly.

She spares a glance at Eren, who is wringing the hem of his shirt in nervousness.

“It- I- It’s not, sir…” What else could she say? All Eren had done was win the Corporal’s affection, all he had done was unknowingly steal away what she’d been after for years, all he had done was-

“As I thought. Shape up, your attitude is annoying and unprofessional, I expect more from you.” Levi scolded, it cut extremely deep.

Eren spoke up then, voice timid and forgiving. “P-Petra, I don’t know what I did, but I’m sorry if I -”

“Don’t apologize, she’s the one with a stick up her ass.” Levi cut in gruffly, it wasn’t unkind, just blunt. Just true.

“You’re dismissed, Ral.”

Ral. Not Petra, not a friend, Ral.

Eren was giving her an apologetic look, as though he had never meant to throw a wrench in what Petra had thought was her intimate relationship with Levi. He should be sorry, everything was his fault wasn’t it? If he had never-

“Dismissed.”

“Yes, sir.” She replied stiffly, and marched out if the office. She lingered outside of the door she’d closed behind her.

“I didn’t mean to start a fight between you two.” Eren’s muffled voice all but whimpered.

“Don’t you start, this isn’t your fault.”

Silence, she should go, but she stayed there, rooted in her place, listening.

“Oi, stop looking sorry for yourself and come here.” Levi ordered.

She should go.

“C-Corporal, it’s broad daylight!” Eren hissed after a distinct ruffle of clothing and the light squeak of a chair.

She should go.

“Mmn.” Levi mumbled noncommittally, followed a series of soft smacks, and Eren’s sweet sighs and reluctant moans.

“Corporal…!” He whines.

She leaves.

E♡L

She sees them snuggling and whispering to each other like childhood sweethearts, where they think no one can see them, no one can, except for her, she makes herself see it.

The way Eren childishly turns his head away when the older man whispers a particularly sweet nothing in his ear, one that has Levi smirking and Eren turning bright red.

The way Levi’s acting like a young boy with that wide grin on his face while he tries to catch Eren’s eyes to see the embarrassment he’s trying to hide from him.

She imagines herself in Eren’s place, where she should be. It should be Eren watching her and Levi longingly, wishing for him, not her. She was here first, she had thought Levi treated her as a favorite, as a potential lover, but that-

It was nothing compared to what he was giving Eren, it was like getting a lovely doll for a holiday, only to have your sibling get a far nicer one with a dollhouse and matching dress. It made her want to gag.

She’d always manage to pull herself away when things started to get intimate between the two of them, there was only so much she could take, seeing them so connected, so utterly in love…

It would break her.

E♡L

Petra had thought, surely she wasn’t the only one unhappy with their Corporal’s budding relationship? Surely her comrades were disgusted, Eren was another man after all, surely they’d agree the Corporal needed a woman, one who could offer him a family, much less a compatible body.

“They’re cute, aren’t they?” Gunter commented offhandedly, eyes on the happy couple, as most were, so in awe of the ever-aloof raven bending over backwards for his new sweetheart.

The two were engaged in a lazy game of “footsie” under the table, Eren’s thanks being given when Levi would sneak more extra meat onto Eren’s plate from his own. Along with the boy scolding him for not eating enough of his dinner.

“Y-you think so?” Petra asked in thinly veiled shocked.

“I’d say more adorable, but that’s just me.” Eld gushed. “The Corporal falling in love! It’s like a fairytale isn’t it? Can’t say I blame him though.” His brown eyes shifted to Eren in appreciation.

“Hmph, he’s got a cute face, be a better catch if he wasn’t such a brat though.” Oluo agreed reluctantly.

Petra was flabbergasted by everyone’s happiness over their coupling, did no one think that she was a better option?

“I’m so happy he’s happy.” Hanji sighed dreamily.

“Indeed, it’s refreshing. Though, I’m a little jealous, I must say.” Erwin adds with a chuckle.

He was happy, just with the wrong person.

E♡L

She had to take action, she wouldn’t lose years of yearning only to have them swept away by a green-eyed boy who had no right! She wrote shakily, yet elegantly on her best parchment, saved for letters to her family, she used extremely expensive red ink as she wrote out an enticing, provocative letter to her superior.

She wrote of how much her body yearned for him, how he held her heart in his hand, how she forgave him for being unknowing of her affection and that she was all too ready to show him how far it extended.

She wrote of a time and place, tonight, it said, by the forest, it begged, meet me there at midnight.

She would come to him like an alluring dryad, beckon him close with a whispered confession, he would be caught up in her beauty, he’d reach out for her, kiss her, hold her, he would be mad for her.

He would realize the error of his ways, see that Eren had only distracted him with his exotic looks, that he wasn’t really in love with the youth.

She’d forgive Eren, too, the poor boy had only been dragged into their romance by chance and she’d accept him and his broken heart because she was good. She’d hold him when he cried for Levi to come back to him, and let him know that he would find love with someone else.

Yes, it would be so perfect! Petra squealed girlishly as she reread her risque letter, and thought of her fairytale ending.

She daintily spritzed the letter with her best perfume, it smelled if roses and citrus, and sealed it in a decorated envelope with a rose shaped seal.

She gave it a kiss for good luck and snuck off to slip it underneath the Corporal’s door, scurrying off before anyone could see her.

Then skipped her way back to her own quarters to get ready, she had to look absolutely ethereal!

E♡L

She’d waited outside in the cold of midnight for him to show, she knew it had been nearly three hours since then from the moon’s place in the sky. That silly, sweet old man. He was just as shy as she’d expected from her suggestive words. She’d have to collect him herself.

A little less romantic than she imagined, but she was sure it would be something they would laugh at when they looked back. Just like his and Eren’s relationship.

She made her way to his sleeping quarters fondly.

She stopped suddenly in the hall as she went to knock on his door. Her heart dropped into her stomach and she stopped breathing altogether.

“Ah! Levi! Oh, oh Maria, a-ah!” A voice that was barely recognizable as Eren’s moaned.

Muffled but obvious slaps of skin against skin, the constant banging of a headboard against the wall, the squeaking of a bed frame.

“Eren, ah shit, Eren! Hah…!” Levi growled back.

Petra wanted to die.

“Hhmm, Levi! Feels so good!” The boy gasped, Petra tried and failed to keep from imagining him bouncing up and down on the mattress, hair splayed out around his head like a halo.

“Oh, baby, mhn, you’re so- Fuck!” Levi hissed, she could practically see his head thrown back in ecstasy.

She should walk away, she’d lost! Why couldn’t she just accept it and-

“Levi! I’m so close, a-ah, don’t stop!”

“Eren, Eren, oh hell…!”

She had to see it with her own eyes, she couldn’t accept it otherwise, she wouldn’t be able to snap out of her fantasy if she didn’t.

She found the door was unlocked, a blunder made in their passion most likely, and slowly, quietly peeked in, only enough to see.

See Levi hunched over Eren as the boy was jerked up and down across the bed, the raven plowing relentlessly as they both moaned and grunted at the feeling, the clash of dark tan against pale white, Eren absolutely helpless to do much more than hang on to his older lover’s shoulders and beg for release.

She could feel the tears running down her face at the way they never stopped looking into one another’s eyes.

“I’m- I’m going to-” Eren was trying so hard to speak, so lost in pleasure,

“Let go, cum for me!” Levi ordered,

Eren obeyed, with roll of his head and a long, sultry moan.

Sending Eren over must have triggered Levi as well, as his thrusts lost all rhythm and he instead shoved and pulled his hips in reckless abandon, riding out what could only be his own orgasm.

All at once, they collapsed against each other, breathing heavily as sweat glistened on their bodies. Eren absentmindedly stroked Levi’s hair as the man laid his head on the boy’s chest.

“I love you, so much, Levi.” The brunette cooed.

“I love you, I`m never going to let anyone take you away from me, Eren.” Levi panted back.

Petra stood their, frozen in her pretty dress and ruined make up, she didn’t know how long she stayed there, tears running down her face, a hand clutching the doorknob until her knuckles went white.

She didn’t move until a snore reached her ears and snapped her out of it. She shakily opened the door further, just enough to see her meticulously prepared letter laying forgotten right where she’d left it in front of the door. As Eren shifted slightly in his sleep, she quickly snatched it up and shut the door silently.

Her breath was heavy as she tore her way back to her room. The moment she entered, she viciously ripped her letter apart, near screaming with every new tear.

She ripped off her dress, and ran a rough hand across her face to get rid of the make up she had ruined already. She threw herself into her pillows, she was such a fool! How could she have blinded herself so much? To try and disregard the undying love in Levi’s eyes when he looked at Eren? How childish was she to turn on the poor boy who had done nothing wrong? To try and sabotage the happiness they shared?

She couldn’t believe herself.

Petra felt her heart breaking, felt her resolve finally crumble.

She was such a fool indeed.

E♡L

Breakfast was a bustling affair as always, and Petra was glad to blend into the background. Once again, the starry eyed couple was huddled together at their own little corner of the table, talking about who knew what.

Petra sat in near Eren, offering a chipper good morning to her comrades and digging into her meal, which apparently Eren had cooked up today.

“This is great, Eren!” She praised, as she didn’t know bread could be crisp and soft at the same time!

It was the first thing she’d said to him in weeks.

Eren was stunned for a few seconds, before a bright smile broke out on his face. “Thanks Petra!”

“Hey Petra, you okay? You look like shit.” Levi stated.

She really did, with her puffy red eyes and blotchy face.

She smiled sadly at their interlocked hands upon the tabletop.

“I’m just fine.”

And she was.