the one with the puppy dog eyes

anonymous asked:

I'm reporting you AND your number answers to the POLICE! For crimes against my soul.

Wow. How do I respond to that? How would I plead?

Prosecutor Tanver: Oh god. Not her. You sent that damn pirate here a few days ago didn’t you?

Me: Uhm… no? Is this really a Galaxy Far Far Away?

Prosecutor Tanver: Your honor the defendant is charged with gross misconduct with Obi-Wan Kenobi and the plantiff’s soul. We’re asking for remand without bail your honor.

Judge: How does the defendant plead?

Me: Is that far wall still smoking? Wow. I didn’t mean for Hondo to use THAT much explosive. Sorry!

Judge: *roll eyes* How do you plead, woman?

Me: With puppy dog eyes and gifs usually. Preferably puppy gifs or kittens but sometimes I’ll use one from a cartoon.

Prosecutor Tanver: *gets a migraine* Your honor?

Me: Can I go now? I have more number asks to answer. Somebody wants to know what makes Anakin Skywalker cry! *evil grin and rubs her hands together*

Judge: *bangs gavel* The author is released on her own recognizance because I’m fairly positive that if we kept her here she would summon that blasted Space Pirate back with his swooshy hair and I just don’t want to deal with that. 

Me: Thank you! *walks out the smoking hole in the wall and vanishes in a swirl of feels and glitter* 


Sorry Nony! My perfidy and crimes against your emotions and your soul cannot be stopped. MUWAHAHAHAHA! XD 

But thank you very much for reading and sending me a momentarily heartstopping  fun ask! ^___^

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.
Move on, leave, run away, escape this place… but don’t forget about me, about us, about this town. Always remember where you come from so you can appreciate how far you’ve come.
—  c.j.n.