the one with the fertility test

  • what she says: i'm fine
  • what she really means: in season 9 episode 21 of Friends "The One With the Fertility Test" Chandler tells Monica they are both incapable of having a baby, due to low sperm motility and an inhospitable environment. I always assumed Chandler lied to Monica about his low sperm motility so Monica wouldn't find out she was the reason they couldn't conceive. (Even though there was no way to prove it). However, when the doctor calls and Chandler answers, he asks to speak to Monica...if something was wrong with Chandler, the doctor would've told him because he was already on the phone. And when Monica asked Chandler if there was a problem with him or with her, before answering, Chandler hesitates and looks off to the side a little before saying "actually it's both of us."
  • so basically all I'm ever going to think about is how Chandler probably did lie to Monica to protect her from knowing that she is the reason they cannot naturally have a child, the one thing she has wanted since the beginning of season 1, and now i have to cry for eternity
10

Chemera and Mosaic Insects Part 2-Butterflies and Moths

A chimera (also spelled chimaera) (from the creature Chimera in Greek mythology) is a single organism composed of cells from different zygotes. This can result in male and female organs, two blood types, or subtle variations in form. Animal chimeras are produced by the merger of multiple fertilized eggs.  If the different cells have emerged from the same zygote, the organism is called a mosaic. Chimeras are formed from at least four parent cells (two fertilised eggs or early embryos fused together). Each population of cells keeps its own character and the resulting organism is a mixture of tissues. Chimeras can often breed, but the fertility and type of offspring depends on which cell line gave rise to the ovaries or testes; varying degrees of intersex differences may result if one set of cells is genetically female and another genetically male. A gynandromorph is an organism that contains both male and female characteristics, authorities say. The term gynandromorph, from Greek “gyne” female and “andro” male, is mainly used in the field of entomology, though it has also been observed in arthropods and birds as well. Another way that chimærism can occur in animals is by organ transplantation, giving one individual tissues that developed from two genomes. For example, a bone marrow transplant can change someone’s blood type. Normally, chimærism is not visible on casual inspection; however, it has been detected in the course of proving parentage and may be more common than was believed before the advent of DNA testing.

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Hey y’all! The at-home progesterone test strips are now for sale on Amazon!

These tests are INCREDIBLY important for many reasons, all amounting to one single reason: it makes charting fertility soooo much easier.

Other hormonal tests such as the clear blue easy monitor only tests for estrogen and LH, which can only tell you when your body is attempting to ovulate. With these new test strips, however, they test progesterone: a hormone that can only be present after ovulation has already occurred!

For women who chart their fertility, whether they are trying for a baby or avoiding one, this test lets them know if they are still potentially fertile and have yet to ovulate, or if ovulation has already occurred and are almost/already are infertile.

Just know that there is no official protocol for how to use this with charting rules in NFP, as far as I know. Use this test to cross check other fertile signs that you are observing!

Trying for a baby with Harry

You guys had been trying for what seemed like a long time, when—to be fair—it really wasn’t. You suppose that’s just what it feels like when you’re overly excited for something; like a little kid waiting for a gift on Christmas day. You and Harry would anxiously wait for each pregnancy test, only to find one negative after another. The doctors said it was just stress and that it merely takes some time. Some couples try for years she said. You’re both healthy. It’ll happen, just keep trying she said…but you and Harry were not too keen on being patient. So a few months after Harry had thrown out the condoms and you began tracking your time diligently to figure out the peak fertile moment, you guys were ready. Tonight was the night. You could feel it in every ounce of you—a readiness buzzing right down to the pit of your uterus. And Harry was just as bursting as you were.

He rocks into you with a deep-bellied groan. “Fuck me…” he says, knicking his teeth at the back ridge of your ear while you muffle your moans into the pillow. You were laying on your stomach while Harry was behind you on his knees, astride your legs. His thrusts were hitting deeper and deeper into your core; especially when he switched his position from bending forward and kissing the top knob of your spine to sitting up and roughly squeezing his thumbs into the dimples at the bottom of your spine, almost just shy of pain. He pounds into you and the sensations of his bare cock moving in and out were overwhelming; you swear, you could feel every ridge and bump and thick, throbbing vein and you were hyper-aware of the twitching. You knew he was close.

“Fuck—“ he pinches his eyes for a second and stops. “I’m gonna come soon. C’mere, baby.”

He pulls himself out and helps you to move because you are a little bit dazed and weak in the joints and in the brain. He sits up and pats his legs as an invitation for you to sit in his lap. Harry preferred to come this way. Sure, he liked taking you from behind because of the animalistic abandon of the moment—the full-out fucking and harsh slap of skin-on-skin and whatnot.

But when he was about to come, he’d like to switch it up. To make love to you, as it were. To have you facing him so he could watch your face as you break apart in his capable hands. To have your nails rake down his back while he tightens his grip around you. To swallow up your final cries with a sweat-sprinkled kiss. To look into your glassy eyes while you give him a breathy, shy smile. He loved that.

So he guides you into his lap and you wrap yourself around him. You grab onto his cock and slowly sink down while he hisses at the sensitivity. He is so very close to coming. You start grinding on him and you can feel it almost penetrate the bottom of your stomach. The both of you are a mess of tangled legs and clammy skin sticking together; he dips his head into your neck and closes his eyes again. Having already came twice before this, you were completely focused on him. As you begin bouncing on his cock, you lace your fingers into his hair and bunch it.

“Come for me. Please, Harry.” You say and clench your muscles around him. He groans and throws his head back, exposing a place on his sharp jawline for you to mouth at. He starts moving you on him too, chasing his release as desperately as you.

“Come for me.“ you say again and in a suspended moment, he harshly holds your hips down on him. And you feel everything. His load shoots inside you and the warmth is settling into the deepest, most tucked away bits of your core. He grunts heavy with each big spurt, sloppily moving around inside you to prolong the sensation. You feel the last twitch as he empties everything he can offer and in that moment, you know it’s enough.

As he tries to catch his breath in the crook of your neck, you pull him up to look at you. You wipe away the sweaty hair from his forehead and scrutinize his eyes.

“That’s it. That’s the one. I’m pregnant, I can feel it.”

He smiles dopily at you and drags you in for a big, toothy kiss.




Thanks for reading! This was the other most requested blurb. Please like/reblog!

This is my first of hopefully a couple blurbs today. Pick one right here! Stick around..


Masterlist


Thanks guys and Happy Valentine’s Day!

10

Chimera and Mosaic Birds Part 2-Psittacines and Galliformes

A chimera (also spelled chimaera) (from the creature Chimera in Greek mythology) is a single organism composed of cells from different zygotes. This can result in male and female organs, two blood types, or subtle variations in form. Animal chimeras are produced by the merger of multiple fertilized eggs.  If the different cells have emerged from the same zygote, the organism is called a mosaic. Chimeras are formed from at least four parent cells (two fertilised eggs or early embryos fused together). Each population of cells keeps its own character and the resulting organism is a mixture of tissues. Chimeras can often breed, but the fertility and type of offspring depends on which cell line gave rise to the ovaries or testes; varying degrees of intersex differences may result if one set of cells is genetically female and another genetically male. A gynandromorph is an organism that contains both male and female characteristics, authorities say. The term gynandromorph, from Greek “gyne” female and “andro” male, is mainly used in the field of entomology, though it has also been observed in arthropods and birds as well. Another way that chimærism can occur in animals is by organ transplantation, giving one individual tissues that developed from two genomes. For example, a bone marrow transplant can change someone’s blood type. Normally, chimærism is not visible on casual inspection; however, it has been detected in the course of proving parentage and may be more common than was believed before the advent of DNA testing.

So I came on my period

Which means that I can arrange my day 5 bloods.

We are finally ready to move forward with IVF. Husband has had his scans and blood tests, I’ve had my scan and now we are ready for my bloods. There are a few required, one being on day 5 of my cycle (which is monday). I have a doctors appointment tomorrow to sort out the blood tests. If they can’t fit me in on Monday, husband will take my bloods for me (he’s a medic).

I need some quite obscure bloods and then swabs. And once we have the results, we can book an appointment to book in husbands sperm extraction (eek!) and get my various hormone prescription to increase ovulation.

I’m excited. But also a little scared. Having a second child also makes me feel quite tired.
How do you incredible mamas with more than one little one cope?!

We’ve been talking about whether we tell people about the ivf. Our families know it’s something we have been enquiring abojt. But to be honest, I feel anxious letting people know we have actually started treatment.

My biological father is a bit of an arse. He’s the kind of person who will get in touch regularly and ask “are you pregnant yet?”. It’s the kind of pressure I feel like I just don’t need or want. We have to be realistic; it may not work first time. I don’t want to have to deal with my and our disappointment as well as explaining to family that we’re not pregnant.

It’s likely I’ll feel a bit crappy on the injections, tired and rubbish, but I should be on them for about a month, so in the grand scheme of things it isn’t that long. I feel like I can cope with not telling anyone. I think if I did talk to anyone it would be my best friend or/and a really good friend who has also been through unsuccessful and successful rounds of IVF.

This blog is a good outlet too and you mama’s are awesome (as always).

Omega Auction

@chesathecat

Grace stood defiantly, looking at the crowd of alphas that was about to bet on her and her twin brother. Trevor kept his eyes on the ground, trying hard not to cry. Their father was selling them. Trevor had accepted their fate, but Grace was furious. She was going to get herself in trouble with whatever alpha bought them. Their father thought they were worthless omegas. That neither of them would ever amount to anything. He firmly believed that having pups was the only thing omegas were good for. They weren’t even people, just property. That was generally the consensus of all alphas. And since Trevor and Grace were both within a week of their first heat, he decided he would sell them together, a package deal would bring in  more money than a single omega after all. The betting began and the numbers climbed higher and higher until someone finally called out a number that no one else could beat. Their fertility tests had come back showing that they were both incredibly fertile and so that meant that they would fetch an even higher price than most. They were led out back to meet their new master and be tattooed with their new alpha’s mark to make sure they could never run away. 

2

Seven tussling puppies could bring a smile to anyone’s face. But one litter has a team of scientists beaming more than usual.

The puppies — five beagles and two “bockers,” or beagle-cocker spaniel mixes — are the first ever born through in vitro fertilization.

IVF has been used successfully in other animals — including, notably, humans — for decades. But despite numerous attempts, scientists had never succeeded in using IVF in dogs.

But this year, researchers at Cornell transferred 19 embryos into a female host dog. In July, after a scheduled cesarean section, they welcomed seven new puppies into the world.

7 Bundles Of Scientific Joy: ‘Test Tube Puppies’ Prove IVF Can Work In Dogs

Photos: Mike Carroll/Cornell University and Jeffrey MacMillan/Cornell University

2

Here’s an adorable, subtle mondler detail I’ve noticed;  whenever Monica greets chandler, he waits for her to kiss him with a content smile on his face. He’s not like “hey there” and then continues what he was doing (like opening the mail or reading the newspaper) he seems genuinely happy to see her and doesn’t take his eyes off of her. 
(I’m probably reading way too much into this but i find it really lovely and cute and they are my OTP so yeah). The screen caps are from Season 9: The One With The Fertility Test 
                                          Season 10: The One With Ross’s Tan

Y'know I thought I was going to NOT write Stucky MPREG...

See, I really wasn’t planning to write Crackfic Stucky MPREG that isn’t A/B/O or Steve and Bucky as Hobbits.  I mean, we’ve pretty much established that one of the best ways we’ll ever see Parent!Stucky is the HYDRA test tube baby / clone Steve / clone Bucky route, right?

But then I abruptly remember that Thor is a fertility god.

And this right here, is Thor bellowing:  CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

He Thinks Your Child Is One Of The Other Boys

Johnson➵ Jack and you sat in the doctors office waiting for the results of the test you both had just taken. Jack had accused you of hooking up with Gilinsky, and that’s why you were pregnant because you and Johnson were always safe. He demanded a fertility test which made you furious. How could he not trust you. You both sat on opposite sides of the room and the doctor came in.

“Ms. (Y/L/N).” He handed you the paperwork. “Your child is in fact Mr. Johnson’s.”

“Thank you.” You said as he left the room. When you looked over at Jack he was staring at the ground, refusing to make eye contact.

“I’m sorry.” He shook his head.

“Yeah sure.” You rolled your eyes tossing the paperwork at him and leaving the office. You left the room and he followed. On the way out to the car he caught up to you.

“(Y/N) hey.” He grabbed your arm and you turned to face him. “I’m sorry okay? But you and Jack were getting so close lately. And I just jumped to conclusions. Will you please let me be apart of this baby’s life?” You could see the apologetic look in his eyes.

“You’re the only person I would want to be this baby’s father.” You answered deciding to forgive him. His smile was now the most heartwarming thing you’ve ever seen.

“Holy shit we’re going to have a baby.”


Maloley➵ You had just told Nate you were pregnant. You expected him to be kinda upset or nervous, sure. But saying he was kinda upset or nervous was an understatement. He was furious.

“I knew it. I fucking knew it.” Nate cursed screaming and punching a big hole in his bedroom wall. You stood back slightly worried. “So it’s Sam’s baby huh?” He accused you. Your jaw dropped.

“You’re kidding right?” You yelled back.

“I knew you two hooked up the last time we came back from tour. Goddam it!” He screamed throwing a book off the shelf.

“We’ve never hooked up Nate!” You yelled taking a step towards him.

“Bullshit.” He yelled again, he was now inches from your face. You’d never seen him angry before. You started shaking out of nervousness. Sure you and Nate fought often but it was always about stupid stuff. To be honest, when things got serious and Nate got angry, you were never sure what he was capable of.

“Nate I swear. It’s yours.” You whispered quietly. His heavy breathing slowed down a bit, and his eyes softened.

“But we didn’t…” He started.

“Yeah we did. The first night you were back remember. We both got really drunk and it just kinda.. happened.” You explained. He hung his head ashamed.

“I’m so sorry.” He whispered, his hand running through his hair. He tried to take your hand but you took a step back still nervous.

“If you don’t want it I can..”

“No. I want this baby. I do.” His eyes met yours. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you and our baby. I’m so sorry I assumed that it was Sam’s. I should’ve known you would never do that. And I never should’ve yelled like that. I didn’t mean to scare you. Can I make it up to you?” He went to take both of your hands and this time you let him.

You shook your head. “I just want the baby to have a good father. I want him to have you Nate.”

“I can do that.” He smiled pressing his lips to yours


Wilkinson➵ You sat on Sam’s couch in tears as he paced back and forth in his room. Telling Sam you were pregnant was nerve racking enough, and now he had just told you he thought it was Nate’s baby and not his, which of course it wasn’t. Nate sat next to you, and Sam was about to confront him about the whole situation.

“So (Y/N) is having your baby?” Sam seethed stopping in front of Nate.

“What?” He chuckled a little thinking Sam was joking.

“She’s pregnant dickhead and it’s yours!” Sam yelled and you shook your head. Nate looked at the both of you baffled.

“You’re fucking kidding right! (Y/N) and I never fucked!” Nate stood up coming face to face with Sam.

“Then why the fuck is she knocked up? Huh?” Sam yelled. You didn’t dare to try and step between them.

“Maybe cause you knocked her up!” Nate threw his hands up.

“No! We always used protection.” Sam shook his head.

“Protection doesn’t always work douchbag!” Nate rolled his eyes. He began leaving the house and turned back quickly. “I’m sorry your baby daddy is such a dick (Y/N).” Nate shook his head leaving. Sam stayed quiet for a while, thinking, before sitting next to you on the couch.

“It’s yours Sam.” You sniffled a little. “I’m positive.” He breathed out heavily turning your face to look at him.

“And it’s my fault. I should’ve been more careful.” He runs one of his hand through your hair.

“Shit happens Sam.” You sighed. “You don’t have to stay. I can raise this baby by myself if-”

“No. No way in hell. This is our baby (Y/N). And I promise I’m going to take care of the both of you for the rest of our lives.” He placed a kiss on your forehead. He was going to be a great father.


Gilinsky➵ A few months ago, you gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. Jack was an amazing father, but something about him had been off since the baby was born, and you could never figure it out. That was until today when Jack decided to confront you about that ‘something’.

“Is that baby Johnson’s?” Jack asked as you were doing the dishes. The baby lay in his crib in the living room while Jack stood in the doorway in between.

“What? Johnson’s?” You asked turning to face him.

“Yeah. Look at him. He’s got the blonde hair, same color eyes.
That baby looks nothing like me. And I was gone for a few months while Johnson stayed with you.” He stared at you intently, waiting for your answer.

“That’s your child Gilinsky. No doubt in my mind.” You walked towards him. You reached him and his arms wrapped around you, your hands placed on his chest.

“I’m sorry for asking. It just looks so much like him.” Jack places a kiss on your forehead and turned you both so you could see the baby.

“I think he has your nose. And a lot of babies are born with blonde hair, then their hair gets darker as they get older. It’s our baby Jack. You and me.” You reached up pecking his lips.

“You and me and our baby boy.” He smiled widely down at you. “Our perfect little family.”

💭💭💭💭💭💭💭💭💭💭💭💭💭

Love this request! Enjoy! 💋💋

My smiley face. It came. Yesterday evening…a few hours after my manic, panic attack of a post. CD16. Positive OPK. On 100mg of Clomid.

I ran around the house screaming…and that’s just a smiley face on an OPK! Can you even imagine what a lunatic I will be when I actually get a positive pregnancy test? If I get one? When I get one? (Flip flopping with the verbiage here)…

This definitely feels like one massive puzzle piece in my TTC journey. Whether or not we get pregnant this cycle, I honestly don’t even care. This was what I wanted. This stupid electronic smile that measures so little but says so much.

Baby steps, friends. Ironically-named baby steps…

Deities of the Chinese pantheon

CHUANG-MU - Goddess of the bedroom and sexual delights.

ERH-IANG - God of protection from evil.

FU-HSI - God of happiness, destiny, and success.

Associated with the hat.

HSUAN-T'IEN-SHANG-TI - God of exorcism of evil spirits.

KUAN YIN - Goddess of fertility, children, motherhood, childbirth, and mercy. She is often portrayed holding a child in one arm and a willow twig or lotus blossom in her other hand.

Associated with the willow.

K'UEI-HSING - God of tests and examinations, protector of travelers.

LEI-KING - God who punished the guilty that human laws did not touch.

LU-HSING - God of salaries and employees.

Associated with deer.

SHEN NUNG - God of medicine.

SHOU-HSING - God of longevity and old people.

Associated with the peach.

T'AI-YUEH-TA-TI - God of fortune, payment of karmic debt, and prosperity.

TSAI SHEN - God of wealth. Associated with the carp and cockerel.

TSAO-WANG - God of the hearth and kitchen. He is said to guard the hearth and family, allotting next year's fortune.

TWEN-CHANG - God of literature and poetry.

YAO-SHIH - Master of healing and psychic abilities.

Conway on the Chinese pantheon - a selection from The Little Big Book of Magic.  

5

Meet these adorable Arapawa goat kids at KidZooU!

This is a very important birth. Arapawa goats are classified as Critically endangered with just over 300 animals in the worldwide population. Dahlia, their mother, was a surrogate birth to test the process of reviving a breed from cryogenic preservation. The first part of the process is removing the sperm and egg from cryopreservation (which they do at SVF Foundation, one of the Zoo’s partners), fertilizing the egg in a lab, and implanting the fertilized egg into a surrogate of another breed. This is how Dahlia was born.

The second part of the process is making sure the animals born from the surrogate can reproduce naturally, which is what happened here. These kids are great news for the Arapawa breed and all rare breeds in general.

Do you know your dad’s sperm count? Because I do. And I was asked about it live, on national TV, starting at the age of 4.

I had become famous as a “test tube” baby for reasons that should have been strictly personal. My dad was infertile, and my mum couldn’t conceive due to a hysterectomy. Not one to be dissuaded by the impossible, in 1986, my dad suggested to my mum that they try to have a child anyway. He wanted to combine in vitro fertilization with surrogacy, which sounds like no big deal until you realize that, at the time, it just wasn’t a thing. It would become the subject of fierce political debate in the years after.

Still, they had a willing surrogate – my aunt Linda – and they made it happen. It turns out this was a huge deal – my family has had to tell this story publicly ever since the media somehow found out about me shortly before I was born. If you haven’t seen the headlines, you’ve probably read about me in your biology textbook.

I Was One Of The First Test Tube Babies: 5 Realities