the one that will kill me okay

anonymous asked:

Hello! I was just wondering if you have any ideas on """dale pike's""" Within the Narrative? I don't know what to think of it, because the writing style doesn't seem like fanfic to me and there's enough levels of meta-y things to drown me in. if mofftiss wrote us fanfiction I am going to explode

oh god ‘Within the narrative’ killed me. Oh God. Okay, deep breath. I’ll do the same as I did for ‘The One Word Test’ here, just go through and pick out the most relevant quotes for me as I go along. 

THIS JUST ANALYSES THE INTRODUCTION ‘CAUSE IT GOT LONG. If folk are interested, I could try and pick apart the whole fic if I don’t die from the attempt sos adhflslhgsjlf.

Hope this helps! From the beginning, then?

Okay, so first we have the weird tagging system- why is the fic tagged as both a Tragedy and a Comedy? Well, because of this opening quote from The Three Garridebs: It may have been a comedy, or it may have been a tragedy. It cost one man his reason, it cost me a blood-letting, and it cost yet another man the penalties of the law. Yet there was certainly an element of comedy. Well, you shall judge for yourselves.” See this post by @teaandqueerbaiting!

^I take this to mean we’ve got our ‘comedy’ Garridebs in The Final Problem, the cheap dangling Garridebs brothers gag. We’re still waiting for our truly emotional, true Garridebs scene between John and Sherlock.

Then, we come to the summary and opening notes to chapter 1:

Right, who on earth is Proper Dave? See this and this post by @may-shepard  @laughing-at-the-darkness and @221bloodnun. Proper Dave is a character from the Doctor Who episode Silence in the Library, written by Steven Moffat and directed by Euros Lyn, who also directed The Blind Banker.

Proper Dave is a PILOT (ooh little on the plane in TFP: ‘the driver’s asleep!’) He’s called ‘Proper Dave’ in contrast with another crew member named ‘Other Dave’ because ‘Proper Dave’ was there before him. It’s never twins, Watson. 

I’ve not watched this episode but basically for some reason Proper Dave “acquires an extra shadow”- this means the villains of the episode are attacking him. The Doctor tries to save him but fails, leaving Proper Dave’s “data ghost” to echo his last thoughts:  “Hey, who turned out the lights?”  Side-note: if this is the 4th favourite fic, I wonder where Proper Dave’s 3rd and other fave fics are… ;)

Now, what about the “A boring story” bit? I cannot for the life of me find the quote, but I remember Steven once describing The Three Garridebs as “a very boring story”- clearly tongue in cheek as it’s one of the most iconic moments of ACD canon, even saying in his own foreward to the stories that “you’ll be blinking back tears when the moment comes.” (x) Tagging @waitedforgarridebs in case she knows where the quote is, the resident Garridebs expert. ;)

“about the stuff between the lines.”- well, we’re all very good at finding that. <3

And the notes. Of course, nothing is certain, but to me these only become worthwhile and genuinely funny if you see them as written by someone who’s…well… very much an insider on the show. “Series 4 and 5 spoiler alerts”- that’s very presumptuous of you. ;) Saying they’ve deduced things correctly, including what they’re “probably” going to call the Watson baby– this is so funny if at this point they genuinely hadn’t decided what the baby was going to be called lmao.

Then we get one of the most bizarre meta introductions I’ve had the pleasure of reading:

“Most people think they know what’s going to happen. Perhaps you’ll dismiss this narrative early, thinking it is boring and banal and not worth the distance to that innermost cave. Or perhaps you’ll be too easily impressed and think this is a great story.
Perhaps you’re just looking for a cheap thrill. Well, this one has thrills, but they don’t come cheaply. The Powers-That-Be never gave me any trigger warnings, so I’ll give none to you, save this: Here there be dragons.
In any case, we’re going to follow the rules. Stories have rules, of course, just like chemistry, like biology. Like gravity. Perhaps—if you are an omnivorous reader yourself—you know that there are certain rules that a good story must never break.
It turns out that we’ve been wrong… and right… all along. That’s the beauty of it. That’s what makes this a good mystery.
Back up a bit. Ready the players. Set the stage.”

Originally posted by beamlyus

Originally posted by benedict-the-cumbercookie

Why, why why is this so meta. Why does it read like a set of instructions. It’s so out of place for a fic. Why is either “dismissing the narrative early” or “being too easily impressed” such an apt summary for some reactions to The Final Problem? The stage is set, the curtain rises. Here be dragons. 

We know “the rules” of this story- and we know that The Final Problem broke all of them. Steven and Mark themselves have said the episode was deliberately full of “transgressions.”

They’ve been wrong….(The Final Problem)…and right (every other episode) all along. The mixture makes it the mystery. We need to- and have solved- that mystery: why it was wrong. Because it didn’t end with John and Sherlock together. The rest of the true love story is yet to be told.

anonymous asked:

fam your threesomes are so lit 👌🏻👌🏻 they've made me in the mood to read some more, do you have any recommendations for any threesomes? specifically thing like ones because those kill me omg

okay, okay, I think i got you 👌🏻 cue to me scrolling through my following list so i don’t miss any out.

» business | Taehyung + Jungkook | by @btssmutgalore (there’s two parts right now, i don’t know if there will be a third, I mean, I haven’t even read part 2 yet because part 1 messed me up too much (but well i did skim the ending because my curiosity got the better of me and well…rip me)) 

» pour up | Taehyung + Jungkook | by @jungkxook (this was one of the first things i ever read on tumblr and there are no words to describe how good this is tbh) 

» unexpected | Yoongi + surprises | by @noona-la-la-la (I say surprises because the last part made me explode haha, it’s a series and not technically a threesome, but amazing nonetheless!!!) 

» the resolve | Jungkook + Wonho | by @wonhopes (KILL ME NOW. I’m still in denial about crushing on jungkook AND wonho probably, but when my sister showed me this I had heart palpitations… thanks sis)

» boastful drunks | Jungkook + Jimin | by @ellieljade (confession time, I haven’t read this yet, but I know it will be good OBVIOUSLY so it’s next on my list, I just need to make sure I’m well hydrated first…) 

Also, I just realised Jungkook is in all of these bar one lmao, so yeah… ooops, I need to reevaluate myself and read more!!! 

Tagged by: @skrmish (๑╹ω╹๑ )

Rules: Tell us one favorite character from ten shows & tag ten people.

Okay first of all, excuse for not following instructions but lmao pls. don’t let me choose between my children *cries*

In no particular order _(:3」z)_ (also listing from the most recent shit I’ve watched and those shit I’m really obsessed with bc god knows 10 is not enough lolololol.)

1. Mari Ohara - Love Live! Sunshine!!
2. Maki Nishikino/Eli Ayase - Love Live!!
3. Ebato Sanae - Kuzu no Honkai
4. Gabriel Tenma White - Gabriel Dropout
5. Yuri Plisetsky - Yuri!!! on Ice
6. Asuka Tanaka/Kumiko Oumae - Hibike! Euphonium
7. Yamabuki Saaya/Ichigaha Arisa/Hanazono Tae - BanG Dream!
8. Mr. Fafnir - Kobayashi san chi no Maid Dragon
9. Helena/Sarah Manning - Orphan Black
10. Danearys Targaryen/Margaery Tyrell - Game of Thrones

Tagging: @stug996 @frostybwitch @reimiko-chan @franchium @that-useless-lesbian @kanannmarii and like idk those who wants to do it :)

It literally hit me earlier how… Harry and Louis are both such radiant, captivating, engaging, beautiful, charming men, they both command your attention, I was pulled into this fandom by one of them and didn’t expect the other to also steal my heart, okay I need a minute….

THEY’RE SUCH A FUCKING POWER COUPLE

anonymous asked:

Look it's me jelixpo back at it again with another weird/morbid hc ask. Do you have any hcs for if jelix had a health scare? Like if one of them had to be rushed to the hospital after taking a really bad fall or accidentally eating something poisonous at a restaurant.

god i think about this a lot, and i want to write it, but YALL WOULD KILL ME

-i feel like felix would be the one to be rushed to hospital. like cmon have you seen the stupid shit he does? gets hit by a car, eats too much hot sauce, ect

-jack would probably do his best to stay calm the entire time, doing everything he could to stay with felix, and when he’s finally stable/decently okay, he’d break down in tears and start sobbing, then hit felix for scaring him

-after jack calmed himself, though he’d probably cuddle with fe in the hospital bed and fall asleep

As much as I love mutual pining and using it for every ship ever, I really don’t picture it applying to young, pre-relationship Baze and Chirrut

Because I imagine it as Baze being completely lovesick, head over heels pining, “I would die if he found out how much I love him but also he keeps accidentally flirting with me and doesn’t he know it’s killing me?”

meanwhile Chirrut never feels like this because he’s under the impression they’re already dating

10

Isak season 3 + hostile_goose tweets

the signs as songs by brendon urie written about ryan ross

aries: hurricane
taurus: collar full
gemini: bittersweet
cancer: nearly witches 
leo: i wanna be free
virgo: the calendar
libra: girls/girls/boys
scorpio: nicotine
sagittarius: i have friends in holy spaces
capricorn: c’mon
aquarius: casual affair 
pisces: folkin’ around

okay listen. everyday, trying-to-fit-in kara kills me. the glasses, the flats, the argyle sweaters, it kills me. she is the embodiment of “too pure, too good” and it is really too much for me to handle. it’s all to try and blend in and seem insignificant, but guess what?? kara could be wearing camouflage and she would still stand out bc who smiles that much? whose eyes light up like that when they see potstickers for christ’s sake?? kara is so observant that she probably knows the birthdays of all the employees in the office at catco and gets them a card or a donut or something, and she notices because she cares so much about everyone. like she wants to make sure no one feels left out or forgotten and loves to make people feel special. she tries so hard to blend in but she’s too kind, too thoughtful, too bright to ever be anything but remarkable. and that has nothing to do with supergirl, that’s just kara being kara.

The Problem with BBC Sherlock – of Terrible Themes, Abuse, and Tragic Gays

Here’s my first essay on my thoughts on S4.

I’ve been digesting the shock and sense of “wrongness” after THE FINAL PROBLEM, and I’ve come up with some ideas on why it bothers me so deeply. It has to do with themes. Every good story has a theme. It might be “love conquers all” or “the bad guys always lose” or “truth always comes out”. The themes of the show after S4 are truly repellent.

1.       The THEMES after S4:

a.       No matter what you do or sacrifice, it’s never good enough and you won’t win your heart’s desire in the end.

b.      It’s okay to abuse to your loved ones, it’s completely forgiveable, and, in fact, the most abusive people win.

c.       Lying and killing people is okay and you can still be a good person.

HOW THIS IS DEMONSTRATED:

2.       SHERLOCK sacrifices himself over and over for very little reward and a lot of abuse.

a.       First, Reichenbach Falls. He jumps in order to save John, Lestrade, and Mrs. Hudson from snipers.  He goes off to dismantle Moriarty’s network, in part to keep them safe. Yes, he hurts John terribly. And yes, it was a mistake. But ultimately, Sherlock still did it for his friends. This is never explicitly discussed or acknowledged in the show between John and Sherlock after Sherlock returns. John never learns what Sherlock went through or says thank you. In fact, the “bomb” scene in S3.E1, Sherlock tricks John into forgiving him only to make a joke out of the whole thing. This is too serious a situation to joke about, yet a real resolution of this conflict is never shown. By S4.E2, it’s clear John still harbors anger over it. Never resolved.

b.      Sherlock plans John’s wedding and is his best man. If you read that Sherlock is gay and in unrequited love with John, this is a tremendous self-sacrifice. Even if you don’t, it’s still a sacrifice—Sherlock is not a party type. He hates social gatherings. Yet he does this for John. John never appears grateful. At the end of the wedding, we have Sherlock walking away alone and (probably) heartbroken.

c.       Sherlock is shot by Mary—and then forgives her, for John. This is almost incomprehensible, but nevertheless,  Sherlock catches John’s wife, Mary, in a lie, offers to help her, and she shoots him in the chest. He dies on the operating table. He comes back through superhuman effort. Mary threatens him again, twice. Yet he forgives her and tries to patch things up between her and John. Why? Because that’s what self-sacrificing friends do? Is this Stockholm Syndrome? Self-loathing? Never explained.

d.      Sherlock kills Magnussen to protect Mary. This was basically an act of suicide. But he did it – for his friends. Neither John nor Mary ever acknowledge this. In fact, in S4.E2, John tells Greg they should have known Sherlock was psycho because “he shot a man in the face” (yes, John, to save you. asshole)

e.      Sherlock again tries to help Mary when her past comes after her (S4.E1), and in the end, Mary throws herself in front of a bullet for him. Ok. Weird but OK. Afterwards, John blames Sherlock for it and casts Sherlock out of his life in a hateful way (again, breaking Sherlock’s heart when Sherlock did nothing wrong).

f.        Sherlock goes back on drugs and nearly dies confronting serial killer Culverton in S4.E2. At the end we find out it was all done to “save John Watson” from his grief. So once again, Sherlock nearly dies for John. And during E2 John treats Sherlock horribly, even going so far as to beat and kick him in a brutal attack.

g.       S4.E3 – Sherlock  battles with Euros to save John. There’s really no appreciation or recognition of this in the end.

SO – what does Sherlock ever get for his repeated sacrifice and pain? For getting shot, tortured, and beaten? For having his heart ripped out and watching the man he loves choose someone else?  He gets a John Watson who seems oblivious to what Sherlock does for him, is in love with his wife and cheating with another woman, is furious with Sherlock and treats him like shit after his assassin wife dies, and beats Sherlock. John finally does come back to Sherlock, but only in the capacity of a friend. More on this below.

3.       MARY – the lying assassin gets all the rewards and a Mary Sue make-over

a.       She pretends to be a nurse at a clinic, befriends John Watson at his lowest point after Sherlock’s death, and he marries her.  Given what he know about her past, surely she didn’t’ just coincidentally end up in John Watson’s path, yet it’s never explained by what deceit and plotting she found him.

b.      She has a secret past as a freelance assassin. Though it’s played up that her past was “very naughty” (Magnussen S3.E3), later in the show she’s whitewashed as being part of a mercenary team that did things like extract hostages. She lied to John about who she was and used a fake name.

c.       She shoots and murders Sherlock – and gets away with it completely. Both John and Sherlock  forgive her! She faces no prosecution and no penalty even from Mycroft or Lestrade, two of Sherlock’s protectes. This is never explained. She never even  says “I’m sorry” or justifies the shooting, not until long after she’s been forgiven and everything’s been swell for her.

d.      Sherlock remains “bffs” with her after this, calling her “his family” and trying to help her when her past comes back to haunt her.

e.      Even in her best moments, she’s manipulative and selfish. For example, she insults John’s value to Sherlock and refuses to let her husband have any say in naming the baby. In fact, she names the baby after herself and announces the name to a room full of friends without discussing it with her husband first. There are a lot of instances like this.

f.        She has an extremely implausible redemption arc when she throws herself into a bullet for Sherlock. Not only does it defy all logic and physics, it’s just dumb and corny.

g.       John is grief stricken for a whole episode. Mary constantly appears as a sort of “Yoda” ghost, uttering words of wisdom and continuing to be whitewashed as some sort of wise woman who retains the role of arbitrator over John and Sherlock’s relationship, as if it’s up to her to validate it. 

h.      SHE NEVER PAYS FOR HER ASSASSIN PAST, LYING TO JOHN, OR KILLING SHERLOCK. The audience is expected to continue to welcome the cloying presence of this killer. And so much about her remains unexplained.

 4.       JOHN WATSON LOSES HIS CHARACTER ARC AND HIS AGENCY

a.       Despite the promising claims that “he’s smarter than he looks” in TAB, John Watson in S4 continues to be clueless. He keeps refusing to see how good Sherlock is and how much Sherlock is trying to help him and Mary. 

b.      John’s wife shoots Sherlock in S3 and John forgives her? How is this possible for a “strong moral principle” man who shot a stranger to save Sherlock in S1.E1? Who punched a police chief who insulted Sherlock in S2.E3?  He’s a doctor, he knew Sherlock’s wound from Mary was basically fatal! On top of this, we have a man who goes to a therapist for “trust issues” who forgives his wife for lying to him from day 1, and he’s okay with not ever knowing her real name? Honestly?

c.       John is bored but seems complacent in his marriage to Mary in S4.E1. But it’s not clear. Does he not notice the way she manipulates him, such as with the baby’s name?  He certainly seems grief-stricken after her death. If he’s really not happy in his marriage, why not make that explicit? Or vice versa? He never says “I love you” to Mary and yet, there’s no reason to withhold it since he never ends up saying it to Sherlock either. It’s just super confusing what he feels for her or for Sherlock. Basically, he seems grief-stricken. Mostly.

d.      Trashcan John. The first time another woman flirts with him, he begins a sexting affair, despite having a wife and infant at home. This is John who is “unfailingly loyal?” If it would have been a plot point, such as him being miserable with Mary, it would have been more justified. But he did it and then he’s also grief-stricken when Mary dies. Inconsistent.

e.      After Mary dies, John treats Sherlock abysmally, shuts him out, insults him, calls him a monster, accuses him of tricks, etc. to the point of physically beating Sherlock when Sherlock is drugged up and ill. This is the man who has repeatedly sacrificed himself for John. And Sherlock did nothing to deserve this abuse since he was not responsible for Mary’s death.

f.        In S4. E3, The Final Problem, John is used as more of a set piece than anything real. He helps solve the “puzzles” at the fortress, but on an emotional level there doesn’t seem to be much there.

g.       A real arc for this story would be that John finally sees/ acknowledges all that Sherlock had done for him, and/or sacrifices himself in return (like a 3 Garridebs moment). But this never happens. There is no satisfying resolution to this relationship plotline. Yes, at the end of S4.E2 John and Sherlock finally talk, John seems to forgive Sherlock, and there’s a hug. But that’s pretty minor stuff compared to all that Sherlock has done for John and feels for John and all John and Mary did to hurt Sherlock. 

h.      Even though John is technically “back at Baker Street” at the end of S4, it’s only in the capacity of a friend. In addition, John basically “defaults back” to Sherlock because he no longer has Mary.  There is no moment where John has to actively “choose” Sherlock, over Mary or even at all. THIS IS LAZY WRITING, NOT A SATISFYING RESOLUTION.

5.       GAYNESS REMAINS “TERRIBLY UNSPOKEN”

a.       This is one of the biggest crimes of the show. What we get in the end of S4 is a gay Sherlock in unrequited (desperately unspoken) love with John, a love that will seemingly never be returned. Is this 1998? Why do we have a tragic anti-gay ending like this in 2017?? It’s nearly as bad as just killing off all the gays. (Or making them all villains, which the show has also done – Irene, Moriarty, Magnussen in the hospital, and Euros).

b.      It could be argued that Sherlock is not gay, that he’s asexual, or even in love with Irene. Yet the show planted many, many clues that Sherlock is gay and in love with John.

                                                               i.      In ASiB, Sherlock repeatedly ignores or pushes off Irenes heavy advances. When he ‘wakes up’ at one point when she’s sitting across from him, his first words are “Where’s John?”

                                                             ii.      Janine says several times “I know what kind of man you are”. Even in “faking” a relationship with her, Sherlock never had sex with her (he jokes “I was waiting until we were married.”)

                                                            iii.      Sherlock’s horribly pained look at John after the wedding , and then he leaves the wedding early.

                                                           iv.      TAB, in which Sherlock confronts very gay-acting mind-palace Moriarty, facing his own homosexuality.

                                                             v.      See Sherlock’s many sacrifices for John. If that isn’t love, nothing is.

                                                           vi.      Sherlock spirals into despair and drugs whenever John abandons him.

                                                          vii.      Mary says on the DVD in S4.E2 that John is “the man we both love”.

                                                        viii.      Many, many other instances.  

c.       John is ambiguously bisexual earlier in the show then becomes strictly hetero. He flirts with Sherlock in ASiP, is horribly jealous of Irene and Janine in ASiB and HLV. Irene, whose specialty is “knowing what people like” tells John he and Sherlock are a couple. John has an implied intimate relationship with his former male commander, Sholto. In a deleted scene, he flirts with a soldier at Baskerville. There’s some drunken knee-groping during the bachelor party in TSoS. However, during all of S4, any sign of this flirty and possibly-bi John has been removed and his heterosexuality is “doubled down”. Why? To avoid any hint that he might get together with Sherlock at the end? 

d.      Sherlock never even admits outloud that he’s gay, not even obliquely. Why? Is it something to be ashamed about? Do we not deserve a gay hero? If they really intended to leave it open-ended what Sherlock was, why did they plant so much of the above evidence that he was gay? If he is gay, why not have him admit it!

 e. This all amounts to a huge queerbaiting exercise, given how many subtextural and textural clues we were given in S1-S3 that this was ulimately a romance. 

These are my thoughts on the story so far. I’ll try to update this with some pics later.

XA

8

I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid it would open old wounds.

Okay, but can we just talk about this shot right here for a minute? 

Through the entire episode we’ve seen Yuuri at various stages of stress and desperation and exhaustion, but right here? This is the most relaxed he’s been since before Victor left. He’s wrapped up in Victor’s arms and he’s safe and wanted and he’s home. The entire airport scene took my breath away but this right here? This gave it back because in this one single frame, Yuuri knows everything is going to be alright because he’s got Victor. 

Watching Sherlock - The Lying Detective

it starts with

Originally posted by dascooki

then

Originally posted by abedsmessedupmeta

and then (but just for a little, so we don’t think we’re escaping this)

Originally posted by realitytvgifs

and finally

Originally posted by samisoffthewall

and you’re left with your own crushed mind and soul and you’re like

Originally posted by sarkisozlerinden

I love the Matt/Shiro BrOTP so have some headcanons that have been sitting in my drafts for weeks

-Matt is a living meme and Shiro questions their friendship every day

-“You know you love me~”

-Everyone questions how someone so calm and mature can be best friends with Matt and Matt kinda laughs in their face

-Matt: Calm? Mature? This guy almost fought a five-year-old over a chocolate bar!
Shiro: I really like the brand oKAY???

-Matt has tried to set Shiro up on one too many dates. It’s really easy since everyone and their mother has a crush on Shiro but Shiro needs Matt to stop.

-He did after a while until Shiro developed a crush on Allura. Cupid Matt was back. Shiro wanted to kill himself.

-Constantly making fun of each other because they love each other

-Shiro: Matt, if you don’t stop, I will literally sit on you.
Matt: Try me.
*high-pitched screams*

-You wouldn’t believe how often that happens. Spoil alert: A lot.

-They’re pretty competitive when it comes to each other. Whether it comes to bets or board games. Tears are shed. Friendships are broken. It gets pretty intense.

-Matt: I got to move on and be who I am! I just don’t belong here, I hope you understand! We might find our place in this world someday. But at least for now, I gotta find my own way…
Shiro: Don’t you think you’re being a bit dramatic over a pizza slice?

-Once Shiro ate the last brownie and Matt wouldn’t talk to him for a week. The dude really loves his food.

-Shiro: No.
Matt: This is homophobia at its finest. ://

-Once they had a convo on what their ship name would be if they dated, Shiro came up with Shatt, Matt disowned him

-Death jokes make up half of their friendship.

-Shiro: I’m going to propel myself off of this balcony.
-Matt: Not without me, you’re not.