Instead of Tolkien’s Dwarf gender ratio being canon fact, wouldn’t it make more sense as just a myth circulated by other races? I mean, it might as well be just recorded misinformation passed down by elves given how Tolkien tended to be biased against Dwarves anyway.
“There’s only a 1:3 Dwarf gender ratio and dwarf women rarely marry and most dwarves are craft-wed and reproduce so slowly they’d eventually die off” was a rumour most likely started by someone who a) couldn’t tell the difference between any Dwarven genders and just made the number up, b) neglected to take homosexual relationships into account and c) assumed that Dwarves only have 2 genders to choose from in the first place.
About reproduction: the Dwarves descended from thirteen original individuals. They’re not going to breed inadequately after rising to a population of at least hundreds of thousands. Also, unlike elves, there is nothing to say that Dwarven children are only born within marriages; it’s probably not even considered that Dwarves have children out of wedlock (”few marriages obviously means that there are very few children,” ha).
The rumour that dwarf women rarely ever leave their mountains was, again, encouraged by the idea that nobody can tell the genders apart, and assume that every buff bearded Dwarrow on the road is male.
(The Dwarves don’t understand why everybody is so obsessed with the topic, and tend to stay in their mountains away from all these idiots. Also, female dwarves can take care of themselves, thank you very much, and venture out whenever they bloody well want to.)
So excited to be re-reading this and diving back into this wonderful, simple system and really open it up to see what we can do. I’m looking forward to bringing this wonderful product to your attention… hopefully in more ways than just this blog.
Tom Bombadil is the best/most amusing character in anything I’ve ever read because here you have this dude who skips around the forest all day and sings nonsense songs about himself, and the One Ring, the single most powerful object in all of Middle Earth that a fucking ancient evil is furiously searching for, has absolutely no effect on him. He pops it on and doesn’t turn invisible like most do when they accessorize themselves with the pure manifestation of power and greed but instead pulls some sleight of hand shenanigans and makes it disappear into thin air like a party trick before casually flipping it back to Frodo. Frodo asks Tom’s wife who the hell he is and she just responds “He is” because Tommyboy over here is fucking beyond mortal description. The elves, who are essentially immortal themselves, refer to to this guy as “the Elderest” because he was there before any of even the oldest beings on the planet could remember. The only reason the Fellowship didn’t pick the guy to journey to and destroy the Ring in Mordor was because he might accidentally displace the whispering hellcircle that even Gandalf, a primordial spirit that helped in shaping the world, was afraid to touch because Tom Bombadil just doesn’t give a shit. So the character that many scholars speculate is the supreme being and one true god of Tolkien’s entire universe is just this secondary character that refers to himself in third person and fishes in the forest while writing iffy poetry.
This was completely inspired by Sweet Creature and I cannot be held accountable for any emotions that you feel while reading this. Enjoy! xo
The sound of the alarm clock is the first thing he hears when we open his eyes.
He leans over to shut it off, then sits up and rubs the sleep out of his eyes. 8:00 A.M. the clock reads. He has to be at an interview by 9:30. He looks over his shoulder at you, wrapped up in the warm cotton sheets, wearing his favorite Rolling Stones t-shirt with a million holes in it. Running his hands down your back, he wishes he could just lay with you instead. But he has a job, a job that he loves very much. However, he loved you more.
You woke up to an empty bed, almost used to the feeling at this point. Turning over you feel how cold his side is, figuring he must have left hours ago. You knew he had responsibilities, but you wished he could just lay with you instead. You reach for your phone, the photo of the two of you on your lockscreen shining brightly, you click on his number. When he doesn’t answer you decide to get up finally and take a shower. Looking at your lockscreen one more time, the two of you with wide smiles and crinkled eyes. All you could think was that you loved him.
“How much fo’ that one, there?” he asks the nice woman behind the ring counter. In the middle of his interview about a song that he wrote with you in mind, he realized that he wanted you to be more than his girlfriend. He wanted you to be his home. So, that’s how he ends up at the jeweler, picking out an engagement ring to surprise you with when he got home.
He knows that you could care less about a ring, that you just want to be his, but he wanted to get you one. He wanted to get you something that was almost as beautiful as you were to him. He wanted you to have a memento of how much he loved you each time you looked down at your hands. He wanted you to be his wife. He wanted you.
You were in the kitchen when you heard his steps in the hallway. “Baby, I’m in the kitchen!” you yell to him.
He walks around the corner and he instantly lights up when he sees you. “Yeh cooking my favourite, woman?” he asks, while he makes his eyebrows dance.
You giggle at him, moving to wrap your arms around his waist. “I am! A favorite meal for my favorite man”
“Love if we’re being honest ‘ere, you’re really m’favorite meal.” He laughs at how wide your eyes get as you realize what he meant. “But this is a very close second.“
You hit him, rubbing the spot where you hit right after. “You’re unbelievable.” Rolling your eyes, and return to your cooking pots to stir.
You feel him wrap his arms around you from behind, he kisses your temple, your cheek, your neck, your shoulder, and once again your cheek. “I love yeh so much, yeh know that?” He tightens his grip on you. “Love yeh with all my heart, an’ that’s a lot.“
“I love you too, H.” You say, as you turn off the stove. Turning around in his arms, your arms around his neck, hands finding their way into his hair as they always did. “Think I love you way more.”
“Oh really?” he mutters while biting your neck. You squeal and try to move away from his teeth, but he’s much stronger than you so you’re stuck in his hold. “Pretty sure I love yeh a whole lot more”
“And why is that?” you somehow manage to get out through your laughter. “How could you possibly love me more”
He stops biting you, reaching into his back pocket while bending down on one knee. “Because I bought yeh this pretty little ring” He opens the velvet box, revealing the most beautiful ring you’ve ever seen. “I thought yeh might like this one, yeah?”
You can’t stop the flow of tears welling up in your eyes. “Oh, Harry. Oh my god” is all you can say.
Looking at you with the most love and adoration in his eyes, he starts to speak again. “I love yeh so, so much. And I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life without yeh beside me, yeh my anchor, love” He takes a deep breath and continues, “When life gets crazy and I get lost, yeh always rope me back in. I want yeh to be my wife. I wanna ‘ave millions of little ones with yeh. I want yeh fo’ the rest of my life. Please, marry me love”
How could you possibly say no to this wonderful, sweet, beautiful man in front of you. You can imagine a million and one babies with him. A house filled with love and laughter. A lifetime of happiness with your Harry. “Yes, of course. YES!” you say before jumping into his arms.
Lucy is surprised when he turns to her suddenly, brow furrowed and lips pressed into a thin, tight line. He stares at her, green eyes hard with something she doesn’t recognize. Lucy blinks back at him, head tilting to the side curiously as he leans into her, so close that his nose bumps against hers and she can feel his hair tickle her skin.
“Will you marry me?” he asks suddenly. The question comes out more as a challenge than anything else. As if he were asking her to fight him, rather than spend the rest of their lives together. He doesn’t drop to one knee, doesn’t have a ring, and they’re sitting in the middle of the guild hall, their friends surrounding them, fighting and sloshing beer everywhere.
If it were anyone else, Lucy would immediately say “no”. But this is Natsu. This is just like him, to ask her here, surrounded by people.
She wouldn’t have him any other way.
Lucy giggles, watching Natsu’s expression slacken at her hesitation. He looks stricken for a moment, utterly heartbroken, but Lucy tilts her chin just enough to snag a quick kiss from him before pulling back with a smile.
“I’d like that,” she tells him, words murmured against his lips. He smiles back, pulling her into a fierce kiss a moment later.
when your lover leaves you, you are allowed to sulk as much as you want to, eat as much chocolate as you can stand, listen to sad love songs, create the one ring of power and become the ruler over middle-earth
In light of Valentines day; could you do scenarios of the Chocobros, Nyx Ulric (if you can) and Cor proposing to their s/o? PS love the stuff you've been writing. :D Tis amazing and brilliant just like you!
I changed up one of them (heheh) just a little bit. Also, I got writer’s block for Cor, I’m so sorry! I’ll do a one-shot for him sometime soon based on this prompt to make up for it. And I still have yet to see Kingsglaive, so for now it’s just our four favourite boys.
This one is pretty long, since it’s a bunch of scenarios, so it’s under the cut. Enjoy! And Happy Valentine’s Day <3
A/N: I can’t believe I fucking wrote this. It’s long af and the smut part sucks but it’s my first time writing anything like this so keep that in mind. Feedback would be lovely xoxo (also if you’re not into smut, the smut doesn’t come til the end & it’s fluff up until then)