the one i posted last night stopped working

6

🚨🚨🚨 CALLING ALL EXO-L 🚨🚨🚨

  • Best Male Group: EXO behind by 104,077 votes
  • Best Dance: EXO behind by 425,781 votes
  • Best MV: EXO behind by 650,940 votes
  • SOTY: EXO behind by 420,661 votes
  • AOTY: EXO behind by 18,116 votes
  • Global Fan’s Choice: EXO behind by 1,979,055 votes

You guys, if you love our boys, then fight for them. We all have life obligations going on and I understand it’s not the most fun thing you could be doing with your free time, but we need to do our very best for them, right? Just vote however much you can, even once a day is better than never at all. You can download a free VPN to bypass the IP limit if you really wanna fight hard. Let’s work together with all the Korean, Chinese, and Japanese EXO-L who have been doing everything in their power so far. They can’t do it alone. Aren’t we supposed to be one? Isn’t that what’s supposed to make us powerful? 💪

There are plenty of tutorials out there addressing how to vote, but if you have any questions or concerns at all, feel free to message me in my askbox or through messenger. I might not be able to answer immediately, but I’ll get back to you ASAP. We have to work together. 💪💖

anonymous asked:

Hi emma! Procrastinating until the last minute and finishing projects the night/morning before they're due has become a really bad habit of mine and I need help stopping it please ;-;

Hey :-) Have a read of this post as a general overview but a few things that might help include:

  • find a planning method that works for you - whether it’s a bullet journal, an agenda, printables or a digital calendar, test out the ones which work best for you. When you’ve found the best time management process for. you, you’ll be much more inclined to keep on top of work. If you’ve got this organised before you start, you’ll stay on-top a lot better! Here are some pros and cons of bullet journal vs planner.
  • write down dates as soon as you get them - once you know when something is coming up, put it in your planner/bullet journal/phone. I’d recommend putting in reminders each week so you don’t forget. Make sure you keep these in view!!!
  • learn to stick with a schedule - I think this is the hardest thing is actually implementing the plan you’ve created. Here is a post with a couple of tips about maintaining your plan!
  • in your schedule, plan to start the assessment 5 days before - remind yourself way before things are due so you can try to get them done. If you can schedule in a time to work on your task, you’ll have less of a “I must finish xxx, xxx, and xxx, before starting” feeling.
  • annotate the question and review the marking guidelines - generally, you’ll have the best idea of what to write the moment you get an assessment. Have a close look at what is being asked, figure out the things you’ll be including and possible content ideas.
  • mock up a structure early on - decide what elements you’re aiming for. I aim for 3 body paragraphs at a minimum really. It is also good to have a word count aim so my essays vary between 1500 - 2500 words so it is a smart idea to give yourself a guideline.
  • make a draft - so damn helpful and stops you feeling overwhelmed when you come to start!!!! Think of your thesis, then go off that adding in key areas you want to talk about. Add in anything that comes to mind. Then think of supporting arguments. I have to use academic articles so I refer back to my notes from the lectures/class readings to see which would fit and provide an awesome statement.

Hope this helps :-) x

G-get it,,,? Totoro,,,, todoro,,, ki,,

I’ll stop now. \(;7; )/

DO NOT REPOST - Not for other’s use

anonymous asked:

Hi! I'm the one who requested the chuuya's s/o giving him a bj. I LOVE IT! I SUPER SUPER SUPER LOVE IT! I came home from uni exhausted bc the semesters coming to an end, so my professors got really demanding lol. So when i saw you posted my request last night iM!!!!! If it's not too much to ask, can i request for another one? But this time chuuya's the one who'll be spoiling his s/o because she's been studying/working non stop and he figured that she needs to take a break. Thank you~!

I’m so glad you love it c: & You got this, dear! Don’t let uni exhaust you more than it should and remember to take a break once in a while. c; x3
I hope it’s okay that it’s more lime-ish than full smut :3


Pairing: Chuuya x Reader
Genre: Lime


The ginger-haired mafia executive leaned against the doorframe, his aqua-tinted eyes watching you study endlessly.
Honestly, Chuuya disliked how much attention you dedicated to your studies if you could focus your attention to him instead. But he would never complain; after all, it’s something you do for a bright future.
Entering the room with light footsteps, Chuuya bent his knees, rested his chin on your head and glanced down at your studies. His hands gave your shoulders a small squeeze before they trailed down your arms and stopped at your waist.
A chuckle spilled from those lips that Chuuya loved to worship. 
“Chuuya. I have to study.” You put the pen between your fingers aside and leaned your head back, letting it rest on Chuuya’s collarbone. 
The ginger clicked his tongue sharply. “Tch, as if. You’ve been studying way too much and need a break.” Chuuya placed a quick kiss on your forehead and decided to pick you up by tossing your body over his shoulder, his hand resting on your butt.
“Chuuya!” You squeaked and tried smacking his back with your fists, but the only response you received was your butt being squeezed. Then you finally understood that you reached the point of no return.


It tasted delicious. 
Chuuya went out of his way to cook your favorite meal and somehow made it look..elegant.
He didn’t only cook for you, but also dimmed the lights in the kitchen, poured both of you a bottle of one of his favorite wine and even lit up a few candles. Mentally, Chuuya praised himself for cooking such a good meal, but he’d never admit that he had to phone Kouyou for help because he messed up a lot the first few times.
Chuuya’s thumb caressed your knuckles in an affectionate manner that made you sigh in content. Maybe, most likely, you really needed that kind of break.
“Would you like some more wine?~” The mafia executive asked with a voice that was as seductive as melted chocolate. 
“Gladly.” Despite the small shiver running down your spine, you remained cool and collected, already being used to the many colors that Chuuya’s voice contained. You held the wine glass towards Chuuya, but the ginger-haired male had other plans in mind.

He poured himself another glass of wine, sipped the sweet liquor but didn’t gulp it down like he usually did.
Instead, his hand found the back of your neck and pushed your head towards him; Chuuya’s chapped lips meeting yours in a loving kiss.
With his skilled tongue, Chuuya sneaked the slippery muscle in your mouth and gave you your fair share of the red liquid; some of it leaking out of the corner of your mouth.
Hastily, you gulped down the sweet wine and started sucking on Chuuya’s tongue which earned you a low groan from deep within his chest.

Both of you only pulled away when you ran out of oxygen, a small string of saliva connecting your lips. 
Chuuya reached over and wiped the leaked wine from just now away, but he didn’t pull away. 
Instead, his thumb rested on your bottom lip, traced the sensitive skin and carefully pressed down on it, appreciating how plump and swollen they were from your previous kiss.
With a smirk cracking on Chuuya’s own lips, he adorned the blush on your cheeks and your seemingly glassy orbs. Gosh, how much he loved seeing that expression on your face.
“I think..it’s time for dessert.~”


It didn’t take long until you stumbled into the bedroom with Chuuya being all over you. He couldn’t keep his mouth on one spot; it wandered from your neck down to your collarbone, giving them wet kisses and loving hickies or he caught your lips in a heated lip lock.
Carefully, the male tossed you onto the soft mattress and immediately got comfortable between your legs, grinding against your nether regions.
“Ah~ Chuuya~” You moaned and wrapped your legs around Chuuya’s slim but strong waist. 
While his hands were making quick work of the unneccessary pieces of clothing that adorned your torso, Chuuya mumbled naughty and sweet nothings in your ear; his hot breath tickling and sending shivers up and down your spine.
Even though your mind could barely keep up, you still managed to take off Chuuya’s grey vest and unbottened his white dress shirt. 
Another groan slipped Chuuya’s lips as his face was buried in your neck while you were gliding your fingertips across his chest and stomach; they only stopped when they reached the zipper of the black pants he wore.

Chuuya’s palm wrapped itself around your wrist, stopping you from undressing him any further. 
It confused you for a moment, you were about to ask why, but Chuuya was faster than you. 
“Let me show you what I can do when we take it slow~”

Stop Drop Selfie
23 March 2017
Feeling the love this morning with two SDS tags! ❤❤ @grandenoirceur and @fatgirlgetsfitatlast here is my sweaty post-workout grinning face.

My friend Karen has been seconded to Sydney & today was her last Thai-X-Fit class with the crew 😢. She & I are the only ranked martial artists in the class (plus our instructor) and are far & away the noisiest ones! Gonna miss my fellow bellows! 😂 I enjoyed a 50-min intense workout class but will have to do my stretching later as last week I stayed to stretch and was late for work 😮. Will have to do my tags later too. Have a great day/night!

Later: okay tags - have fun @insanitytakeover @mikaxmaki @runningmyownrace @h-co3

anonymous asked:

I get what you're saying. I've been there believe me. It's part of the reason I made the decision to stop posting my work.

You can’t give up though. When you get that one really deep review from someone who actually appreciates what you’re doing? It’s all worth it. I worked my ASS OFF on a fic called Twisted back in the spring that NO ONE GAVE A SHIT ABOUT. I was so proud of it. Nobody cared. But last night? Literally MONTHS LATER, I got a message from someone asking if they could translate it to Vietnamese so they could share it with more people. Even though it’s an uphill battle, and even though bullshit EXO ABO MPREG fics and SNSD “gender-bent step daddy smut” fics get thousands and thousands of views while the good shit suffers and withers and dies, we at least have the comfort of knowing we actually have talent and the tools to be successful, and that the praise we get is genuine. It hurts like a son of a bitch right now but someday it’s gonna be worth it.

Be Mine (XII)

Characters: Taehyung (V) & Reader & Seokjin (Jin)

Genre: A little bit of everything, but mostly angst

Series: Intro, Chapter 1 , Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12 , Chapter 13 Chapter 14 , Chapter 15

Summary: You were introduced to your best friend’s university friends, but none of them seemed to appeal to you like Taehyung did, and no matter under what circumstances, you couldn’t seem to get your mind off of him. But there was a set back to all this..


Hello Again! I’m finally done with Chapter 12 of the Be Mine series! ❤️ I hope you have all enjoyed it. I always love to hear what you guys are thinking. 😊 I just want to tell you guys that this chapter is probably going to be the second last one, and depending on the amount requests, I may or may not make an epilogue, so do look out for that. I will try my best to post the next chapter as soon as I can. 😀 Until next time, remember to like, reblog and share! Happy Reading~

Originally posted by eatjin

Originally posted by ygnj

Once the two of you stopped laughing, you checked the clock on the wall and saw that it was already getting late. After a long day of work, what you needed most was a long hot bath followed by a good night of sleep.

“It’s getting late. I’m going to go home.” You patted Yoongi’s shoulder as you got up.

Just as you were about to walk towards the door, you froze at the sight of Jin blankly staring at you.

“Oppa…” You gasped.

Oh no.. did he hear everything that we said?

Thinking that you were talking to him, Yoongi answered,

“Yeah?”

Ignoring Yoongi, you stared with wide eyes at Jin and asked,

“What are you doing here?”

Assuming that you were still talking to him, Yoongi said,

“What? I work here you ido-“

“I had some things that I needed to return to the guys.” Jin said as he cut Yoongi off.

“Uh Hyung.” Yoongi gasped as he jumped out of his seat nearly knocking his chair.

Seeing that the two of you were shocked to see him, he snickered,

“Why are you guys so nervous to see me? Did you guys do something that I should know about?”

With guilt automatically hitting the both of you, you and Yoongi denied hiding anything from Jin at the same time. Great… Way to be subtle.

Eyeing both of you weirdly, Jin tried his best to pretend like nothing happened.

“Where are the other guys?” Jin asked Yoongi.

“They went to a party. You said something about needing to return something to us?” Yoongi answered.

“Oh. Yeah. You told me to help with making new recipes, I got a few done. I just wanted to bring it to you guys to try it out some time.” Jin said handing Yoongi the envelope in his hands.

“Oh cool. Thanks hyung.” Yoongi mumbled.

“You said you were going to go home. Why don’t I drive you home it’s getting late.” Jin smiled at you.

Still shocked from seeing Jin, you slightly nodded.

“Okay. Well we’re going to go then. See you soon Yoongi.” Jin smiled as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and started walking towards the door.

Before leaving, you gave Yoongi one last wave as he gave you a sympathetic smile.

It’s going to be a long… night.

As expected the car ride was quite with neither of you saying a single word. You debated many times on starting a conversation, but start from where? Every once in a while, you glanced at Jin’s direction, but saw that he wasn’t giving anything away. Jin made sure to keep a straight face in hopes of hiding his sadden self. Just as the car was about to turn into your driveway, Jin parked the car to the side of the road. Turning to your attention, he said,

“I tried calling you today, but you never answered. I thought you were busy or you slept in because you had too much fun last night, so I didn’t call again. I didn’t realize you were off at the cafe helping the guys.”

You tensed at the sudden memory of last night. Jin called me today? I didn’t hear my phone ring… Then you realized that the reason why you hadn’t heard Jin’s phone call was because as you hurried out of the house this morning, you had forgotten to take your phone with you. No wonder it was so quiet today..

“Ah.. Sorry I left my phone at home. I forgot to bring it with me today.” You apologized.

“Oh. Okay. How was last night?” Jin asked, acting oblivious that he heard you and Yoongi’s conversation just minutes ago.

Maybe Jin didn’t hear what Yoongi and I were talking about then…

“Oppa?”

Jin hummed in response.

“When did you walk into the cafe?” You watched as Jin froze at his seat, avoiding you eyes.

As minutes passed by and Jin didn’t answer, you repeated your question, but he still didn’t say anything.

As hard as Jin tried to avoid answering, he knew that it would only take him so long before he would give into your questioning eyes.

After letting out a long sigh, Jin finally said,

“I got there the moment Yoongi started talking to you…”

Just like you expected, Jin had heard the whole conversation. Oh no.. that means that Jin knew that I like him…. and that I love Taehyung.. and about what happened last night with Jackson, along with the fact that I’m going to go to Korea.. Fuck.

“So you know that I…. I’m going to go to K-“ As you were about to continue, Jin had cut you off and asked,

“Hey. Y/N. Let’s go for some waffles. I’m hungry. You’re not going to sleep yet right?”

“Jin I…”

“Come on. Let’s go.. I’m hungry.” Jin pouted.

Knowing fully well that Jin was trying his best for you to not bring up the fact that you were going to leave to Korea, you sighed and nodded.

“Great. I got a new song that I wanted you to listen to. Let’s listen to it together.” Jin said as he quickly turned the radio on.

The volume was loud enough that for you to talk above the music, you would have to yell. Again, Jin’s intentions were clear enough that you knew he wanted to stall as long as he could before he had to face the truth. You were going to leave Jin, and he feared that your feelings for him might change within the year that you’re away. What am I going to do with you Jin…

After a long quiet ride to your favourite dessert place, Jin had quickly hopped out of the car and ran to your side to open your car door.

“For you my lady.” Jin smiled.

My.. lady?

Chuckling at the sudden pet name to hide your flushed face, you got off the car and gave Jin a slight bow.

“Thank you very much Sir.”  You smiled.

For the first time since this evening, Jin gave you an earnest smile.

“Come on let’s go I’m starving.” Jin said.

Since the two of you frequently went to the restaurant together, the moment you entered the place the workers all greeted the two of you warmly.

“Hello Jin! Hello Y/N.” The waitress happily greeted towards the two of you, but a little more lovingly towards Jin.

You rolled your eyes as you watched the waitress gush over Jin.

As the waitress walked you towards the table, Jin greeted the waitress just as warmly.

Cute..

Looking completely unamused, to distract yourself, you decided to look through the menu while Jin was busily talking to the waitress.

Not knowing when, the two of them had finished talking and Jin had been staring at you ever since with his elbows propped onto the table and his head rested in his hands.

“What have you decided to get?” Jin asked.

“Brownie sundae.” You blankly said.

“Is there something wrong Y/N?” Jin asked.

“No.” You blankly said.

You felt silly for being jealous. Jin technically is only a friend to you, but you still couldn’t help but start to become more and more obsessive over him.

Being completely amused, Jin continued to stare at you while smiling from ear to ear. As you noticed that Jin was still staring at you. You glared back at him and asked,

“Can you stop staring at me?”

“Why you look so pretty.” Jin smiled.

“Whatever.” You mumbled as you lowered your head to prevent Jin from seeing you blush.

Just as you were starting to feel better, the waitress once again came in and took an extra moment to admire Jin before she asked what the two of you would like to order.

Being the gentleman he is, Jin ordered your brownie sundae, while he ordered a chocolate ice cream with waffles along with a cup of coffee for him, and a hot americano for you. Before the waitress could even spare Jin one last look, you practically glared at her telling her to leave. Maybe it was rude of you to do so, but who likes to see others girls “eye fucking” their own crush or boyfriend. Okay… so maybe I do like Jin. So maybe… I like him more than  friend… Okay and so maybe… I wouldn’t mind having him as my boyfriend… but right now just… doesn’t seem… right. As you were deep in thought, you didn’t noticed that Jin was staring lovingly at your direction.

“If looks could kill, I’m sure you would have killed Becca long long time ago.” Jin snickered causing you to halt your thoughts.

“Becca?” You questioned.

“Yeah. The waitress’ name is Becca. You didn’t know?”

You shook your head and said,

“I never bothered to remember any of their names. How do you know their names?”

“One. She has a name tag. And two. She gave me her number.” Jin said as he held a piece of paper with the waitress’ name and phone number along with a message saying “call me xx”.

As you felt the blood boil in your body, it suddenly felt ridiculous to be jealous over Jin, but you just couldn’t help it.

“Are you going to call her?” You tried your best to calmly asked.

“Should I?” Jin smirked.

“Not my business.” You mumbled as you looked anywhere but at Jin.

“Isn’t it? I’ve never seen you glare at a anyone like that.” Jin amusingly asked.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You said as you awkwardly shifted in your seat.

“Then why are you blushing?” Jin asked as he poked your heated cheeks.

Swatting his hands away, you childishly crossed your hands and pouted.

“You’re so cute when you blush. Has anyone ever told you that when you blush they find it so attractive?” Jin smiled.

You automatically froze from Jin’s question as you started to think about Taehyung. Shit.

I think it was your stunned face and your flushed cheeks that got me.

The moment you blush is the moment you lose baby girl.

SHIT. Y/N. SHIT. No. STOP.

You vigorously shook your head in hopes of forgetting about Taehyung. Not right now Y/N. You have other things to think about.. like how the hell are you going to tell Jin that you’re decided to go to Korea? You were fully aware that Jin was staring at you the whole time, but you didn’t know how to tell him. If you said yes, then he would ask who. And if you lied to him, you were certain by now Jin knew whenever you tried to lie, because just like Taehyung, Jin can see right through you.

As you were contemplating on what to do, the waitress walked up with your food, but you suddenly felt sick to the stomach with your mind once again drifting off to Taehyung. Remember Y/N… it’s going to take time… baby steps…

As you were busy slowly clearing your mind and calming your pounds heart, you didn’t notice that Jin was taking pictures of you until you heard a capturing sound.

“Hey.. You can’t just take pictures of me like that…” You glared.

“Why not? You look so cute when you’re deep in your thoughts.” Jin smiled as he continued taking more pictures.

After trying multiple times to take Jin’s phone away and failing, you gave in and decided to play along and pose ridiculous poses for Jin to capture.

“Oppa. I’m tired. Let’s eat. My ice cream is melting.” You pouted.

Finally placing his phone down, the two of you dug into the desserts. Half way through the meal, Jin got a call from Yoongi, who told him that he read through the new recipes that he gave him hours ago, and he had decided to try them out tomorrow.

“Can you come in tomorrow to cook them? I don’t trust the rest of the guys with trying new recipes.” Yoongi muttered.

“Yeah sure. I’ll go in tomorrow.” Jin answered.

Tilting the phone away from him, Jin asked if you were also going to work tomorrow.

“Uh… I think so.” You shrugged.

Hm… I thought I was going to work to keep myself busy from thinking about Jin and Taehyung and not working along with Jin..

“Great. Yeah. I’ll come in tomorrow and try them out. I’ll also make sure Y/N gets to work on time.” Jin smirked.

You rolled your eyes before you continued to stuff your mouth with your sundae.

Once Jin was done with the phone call, he cleared his throat declaring that he had something to say.

“Yes?” You asked as you stared up at Jin after another spoonful.

“Can I ask you something?” Jin asked.

“Sure.” You mumbled with your mouthful.

“Did you ask to work today?”

“Uh… I uh… Yeah.” You admitted.

“Why? I told them to give you a break, and that if they needed any help to ask me.” With Jin’s mouth thinned out into a straight line, you knew he wasn’t amused.

“I wanted to work. I was so bored at home and I needed something to do to clear my mind.” You mumbled.

“Why? What’s wrong?” Jin asked.

“Nothing. I just wanted to work. I was rotting at home.” You shifted on your seat.

“Is this about him again?”

You flinched at the sudden reminder of Taehyung.

“Not everything I do is because of him.” You suddenly snapped.

Taken back by your sudden outburst, Jin sat with wide eyes staring at you.

“Y/N.. I just. I just don’t want you overworking yourself.” Jin quietly said.

Feeling guilty for suddenly snapping at Jin, you quickly apologized.

“I’m sorry Oppa. I didn’t mean to suddenly yell at you.”

“No.. It’s okay. I know it’s been a long day.” Jin smiled.

It was at moments like this that you felt that Jin was just too good for you. Whenever you were mad or sad, Jin would always be on your side. Even though you knew that Jin was probably hurt because you shouted at him, he still pretended like nothing happened. I don’t deserve him being so nice to me… I’m a shit friend… and he still wants me..  

“Jin.. I don’t deserve you being this nice to me.” You sighed.

“What? No. We all have shitty days. It’s okay.” Jin reassuringly said.

“Oppa… I remember what happened the day I got drunk. I remember telling you that I like you Jin. I remember telling you that I appreciated you and hated myself for making you wait. I remember drunkly inviting you in, and you know that I wasn’t just asking you in for a cup of tea. Jin, if you were to come home with me that night, it would have ended with me using you. Jin what kind of friend am I?” You said as you felt tears well up in your eyes.

“Y/N… don’t cry. It’s okay.” Jin said as he leaned in to brush your cheeks with his thumbs.

Although you knew that now probably wasn’t the best time to tell Jin about your decision to leave to Korea, you thought that there really isn’t going to be a right time. You knew that Jin would be upset, but like Yoongi said, this.. is for you.

“Jin… I was talking to Yoongi today and I-“

“Come on Y/N. Your ice cream is melting.” Jin had cut you off as he started to cut up the waffles.

It didn’t take a genius to know that Jin was making sure that he could avoid hearing you say that you were going to leave.

“Jin… I…”

“Come on Y/N. Your ice cream is melting.” Jin said as he scooped a spoonful of your brownie sundae to feed you.

Putting down the spoon, you weakly stared at Jin and tried to talk, only to have Jin try to spoon feed you some of his dessert. Again, you refused to eat it, and tried endless times to talk to him. Finally fed up in trying to be oblivious, Jin quietly said,

“Don’t. I don’t want to hear it.”

“Jin… You already know what I have to say. Just listen to me please..”

“I heard enough tonight. Okay? I told you I was there the whole time when Yoongi was talking to you.” Jin mumbled.

“Then you should know that I want to say.” You sighed.

“Don’t say it.” Jin warned as he continued to eat his waffle, never glancing up at you.

“Jin… I know this is going to be hard… but please-“

“If you know that it’s going to be hard for me, then why can’t you just not go?” Jin asked.

“Jin.. this is about me. I want to be a brand new me. I want a change in life. I can’t continue relying on you for the rest of my life.” You quietly said.

“I’m fine with you relying on me. I love being able to help you.” Jin argued back.

“Jin. I need to grow up too. I need to learn to be independent sometimes.” You said as you poked at your now melting sundae.

“Don’t leave…” Jin looked up from his waffles with glossy eyes.

“Jin…” You sighed.

“You told me to save those words for when you were really going to leave. I know I’m being selfish for telling you not to leave, but Y/N.. are you just leaving because you want to avoid Taehyung? You know that you can’t hide forever.”

“I’m not doing it for anyone, but me. The reason why I’m leaving is because I want to find me. The real me, the real Y/N that was lost through the countless years of hiding. I want the year that I’m in Korea to allow me to focus in school learning what I love, while once again trying to be more open. I can’t stay in my shell forever.” You sighed.

“So you’re going to just leave me…”

“Jin.. I’m coming back. It’s for one year. I’ll come back and visit on holidays, or you can come visit me.” You smiled.

You watched as Jin nodded quietly, finally admitting defeat.

“If this is for you then fine. But I swear if you do not come back after the first year, I will go all the way there to drag you back whether you wish to or not.” He sighed.

Just like how he loved, you lovingly ran your hand through his hair.

“I knew you would understand me.” You smiled.

After finally being able to tell Jin, you suddenly felt a load of weight lifted off your chest, so to celebrate, you happily dug into your sundae.

“You’re happy.” Jin grumbled.

“Very. I was so worried to tell you, but now that I finally have, I feel a lot better.” You happily smiled.

“I can’t believe you’re going to leave me for a year…” Jin pouted.

As happy as you were to finally tell Jin, you knew that there was still one thing left that you needed to tell Jin. As much as you wanted to give Jin an answer right now, you knew you couldn’t. You decided to believe and let time will heal everything, but what if by the time you’re in Korea and you still haven’t given Jin an answer? Were you going to be fine with Jin waiting for you while you were in Korea?

“Jin? Can I ask for you to do a favour for me?” You asked as you watched Jin happily eat his waffles.

“Yeah?” He managed to say in-between his mouthfuls of ice cream and waffles.

“While I’m in Korea… meet some girls. Go on dates… find yourself a girlfriend.” You stuttered.

It hurt for you to say this, but you knew that as long as Taehyung was still on your mind, you couldn’t continue dragging this on.

As you waited for Jin to answer, you watched as he swallowed the food in his mouth and then his face started to turn dark, as his eyebrows knitted together. Shit.

“Y/N. I told you I would wait for your answer, no matter how long it takes.” He quietly said.

“I know… but this is ridiculous Jin. You’re going to wait for me for an entire year? I don’t want you waiting for an answer that I’m not even certain when I can give you.” You said.

“I don’t care. I told you before that I would wait for your answer, no matter how long it will take.”

“Jin….”

Finally losing it, Jim snapped,

“Don’t start with me Y/N. There is only so much I can handle in one day. You told me that you weren’t going to go anywhere, and yet now here you are telling me that you’ve decided to go to Korea for a year. But fine, if this is for you, I can handle it. But now you’re telling me that you want me to meet other people while you’re in Korea? This is my life, I will wait for you as long as I want. I told you I would wait no matter how long it may take. I told you that I don’t even care if in the end you don’t want me. I started out only wanting to be your friend, so I don’t mind if a friend is all I can ever be, but don’t you dare tell me that I should meet other people.”

After Jin was done, you sat there quietly letting his words sink in. It was really none of your business to tell Jin what to do. You silently blamed yourself for having such bad timing. Hating that you had probably ruined his night, you quickly apologized.

“I’m sorry Oppa… I shouldn’t have told you what to do… I just didn’t want you to spend so much time waiting on me…”

“Y/N… You have to understand that every single second that I spend with you or thinking about you is never wasted. The only thing that is wasting my time along with yours, is if you arguing and telling me to forget about you. Okay? Whether we become more and not, you will always be my friend.” Jin smiled.

You nodded as you took a sip of your coffee, washing down the sweetness in your mouth.

Once the two of you had finished the drinks and were now stuffed full, or at least you were. The two of you paid for the bill, and were heading home in Jin’s car.

Throughout the ride, you decided to play one of Big Bang’s song. As you were jamming to the song and singing in your tone deaf voice, Jin was enjoying how free you were feeling around him.

Suddenly Jin said,

“While you’re in Korea, don’t you dare forget about me.”

Turning to Jin, you gave him a smile and said,

“How can I ever forget you?”

“You better not.” Jin playfully pouted.

Once the car finally arrived to your drive way, you said good night to Jin and told him that you would see him tomorrow.

“See you at work.” Jin winked and left.

Happily smiling, you opened the door and was welcoming with your parents both curiously staring at you.

“Can I help you?” As you awkwardly stared at them.

“You look happier dear.” You mom said.

“That’s because I am happy.”

“Oh really why?” She asked.

“I’ve decided to go to Korea.” You smiled.

“Oh that’s great!” You parents both said in sync.

“I’m so proud of you. I knew you would do it.” Your mom said as she brought you into a bear hug.

“Thanks mom.. I uh.. I’m tired. I’m going to go and sleep now, since I have to go to work early tomorrow.” You said and you wished your parents good night.

For the first time in a while, you felt your life finally starting to straighten up. Maybe time really does heal.

Once you had finished brushing your teeth and taking your long awaited bath, and was ready to go bed, you saw the abandoned phone that you had forgotten this morning, and noticed that there was a light flashing indicating that you had some notifications. After a full day of living without your phone, you were kind of glad to have no phone calls or messages to answer, but curiosity had got the best of you as you had finally unlocked the phone. You were shocked as you noticed an overwhelming amount of missed calls from Jin, Jennifer and an unsaved number, that although you had deleted his contact, you could still distinguish that it was Taehyung. After closing all the missed call notifications, you saw that you also had an unimaginable amount of unread text messages, again from the same three people. As you read through Jennifer’s text messages, they were asking where you were last night, and why you hadn’t answered her. To rest her worried mind, you sent her a brief text saying that you had to work last night and you had forgotten your phone this morning. Knowing that you were fully capable of forgetting your phone, you knew that Jennifer wouldn’t have questioned you one bit.

After answering Jennifer, you read through Jin’s text messages, which were mostly wondering why you didn’t answer his phone calls. Which by now, he knew why, so you didn’t find the need to answer him.

After debating time after time with yourself as to whether you should read Taehyung’s messages or not, you decided that, there was nothing much that you could lose by now, since you had already lost him. Well technically.. he wasn’t really yours to lose.

From 41617690762 (6:30 p.m):

Y/N… I know you probably don’t want to hear what I have to say.. but you have to believe me.. you were never a toy to me.

From 41617690762 (6:35 p.m):

Y/N.. you can be as mad as you want to be, but please believe me. You mean so much to me. So so much.

This is so stupid. If I mean so much to him then why did he leave me?

From 41617690762 (6:40 p.m):

You can hate me as much as you want, but please please just know that you were never a toy to me. And the girl that Jackson was talking about, she was Yoongi’s ex girlfriend, she needed someone to pretend to be her boyfriend just to break up with Jackson, so I did it. I only did it to help her. Jackson was the one who was always toying around with different girls. Please believe me.

Basically, every five minutes, Taehyung had sent a message telling you that he was truly in love with you and not using you as a toy, but no matter what he said, how was anything he said suppose to make you feel better when he had decided to leave you?

To ease his mind, you briefly texted back.

To 41617690762 (9:00 p.m):

Yoongi told me about his ex girlfriend. I get it. You don’t need to text me anymore. Good night Taehyung.

Surprisingly, within seconds you got a text messages from him, but you didn’t bother reading it, because what is him texting now going to do? He can’t magically change the things between you guys, and he most definitely cannot change the fact that he had hurt you and left you to scared to love anyone else.

After dropping your phone, you quickly jumped into bed and finally closed your eyes welcoming a long night of sleep.

After a long restful sleep, you woke up to the sound of your alarm telling you to start getting ready for work. After hopping out of a quick shower, you brushed your teeth and headed out the door to be welcomed be a smiling Jin standing outside of his car awaiting you.

“Good morning love.” Jin smiled

Love? Suddenly smiling from the new pet name, you curtsied your imaginary dress.

“Good morning to you too.” You giggled as you hopped into the car.

Throughout the car ride to the cafe, the two of you were laughing and talking about life, completely forgetting about last night’s emotional breakdown.

Once the two of you arrived to the cafe, you were quickly and loudly greeted by the boys.

“Y/N! You’re here!” Hoseok loudly shouted from the kitchen.

Once all the other boys had enthusiastically greeted you, besides Yoongi who gave a weak wave, you reciprocated by brightly smiling at all of them.

“Wow. I feel loved today.” You giggled.

“And I feel awfully ignored.” Jin mumbled.

“Hyung. If you were pretty like Y/N, we would always say good morning to you too.” Namjoon laughed.

“I am pretty.” Jin glared.

Leaving the boys to settle their own differences, you went to change into your work clothes and then quickly accompanied Yoongi at the machine while Namjoon opened the cafe.

“Good morning Oppa.” You happily greeted.

Yoongi groaned in response as he grumbled,

“Someone’s happy today.”

“Yeah. I had a good night of sleep, and for once my boss isn’t mad at me for being late at work.” You smirked.

“Whatever. How was the ride back home last night with Jin?” Yoongi curiously asked as Namjoon started to hand the two of you new orders.

“It was fine. We went for dessert, and I told him that I’m going to Korea. He was mad at first, but things are better now.” You smiled.

“Finally getting things together.” Yoongi slightly smiled.

As the cafe continued to overflow with customers, it was about noon time when Yoongi finally told you to go on your break.

“I’ll be back Oppa. Just going to go out for a little bit.” You smiled.

After waving off to Jin as well, who was busy working in the kitchen, you walked out of the cafe and breathed in the fresh air before walking towards a nearby park. The park was one of the quietest place, in which you had always loved to go to whenever you were overwhelmed in life, or just needed some time to relax. As soon you arrived to the park, you sat down at a nearby bench, and sighed letting the fresh air fill your lungs as you felt your muscles relax.

Without realizing, you kept your eyes closed as a figure suddenly approached you.

“Y/N?” Taehyung asked.

Suddenly freezing at the sound of his voice, your eyes sprung open as your stared at Taehyung.

“What are you going here?” You asked.

“I uh. Angelica and I are leaving today.. and I wanted to go buy a drink before the bus left. I heard that there was a cafe nearby, so I was just walking there until I saw you.” Taehyung said.

“You guys are leaving?” You asked, suddenly feeling a bit upset.

“Yeah. We’re uh… going to her parent’s place until the break is over.”

Right… of course the two of them would go together… Did you forget Y/N.. they’re dating.

“Ah… meeting the parents.” You awkwardly nodded.

“I guess. Yeah.” He awkward shifted his stance.

Suddenly feeling like the fresh air is suffocating you while Taehyung was around, you got up from the bench was about to walk away from Taehyung when he tugged onto your arm.

“Where are you going?” He asked.

“Why does it matter? You need to go buy your coffee before the bus leaves with you.” You mumbled as you pulled your hand away from his hold.

“Y/N… I…. God. I know this is so stupid of me to hold onto you, when you tell me countless times that we shouldn’t matter anymore, but I can’t just let go without a fight.” He said.

“Okay. If you can’t let go without a fight, then fight. But just so you know, I won’t be waiting for you. I’ve done enough hurting.” You sighed. “I… I don’t know when but maybe one day what you did won’t hurt me anymore. I don’t need to know the reason why you left me anymore. This is the life we’ve chosen, and we should be happy about the choices we made.. right?”

“Y/N….” Taehyung quietly said.

“Goodbye Taehyung.” You tried your best to swallow the lump in your throat.

“Why do I feel like I’m going to lose you…” He said with glossy eyes.

No.. Y/N… now is not the time to back out. This is for you..

“I was never yours to lose.” You said as you walked away, hiding the tears that were running down your face.

You hoped that time would eventually heal the wounds that Taehyung had left you, because as of now, seeing Taehyung only made things worse. Please… let time heal.

Four months later

The rest of the months had flown by before your eyes, leaving you busy with balancing school and work. You would be lying if you said that within the four months you hadn’t been distracted while thinking about Taehyung and Jin. Sure you gave yourself all the time in the world, but you never failed to find your mind drifting off to the two men.

Time will heal.. was what you were told. Although you weren’t fully over Taehyung, you no longer felt sad or angry from what he had done, instead you were now feeling much more free and seeing yourself more open to being a new person, and starting to social a lot more. Needless to say, you were starting to love the new you.

As you walked out of your last exam, finally feeling free, you felt your phone vibrate. Turning to the screen, you saw a message from your best friend, Jennifer.

From Jennifer (3:00p.m):

You’re done you’re exams right? Come tomorrow and help us move into our house. There’s also going to be a party ;)

You knew for a fact that Jennifer was going to move in with Angelica and Taehyung, along with her few other friends, so it was no secret that you were going to see him again. After months of regaining your happiness, where you finally ready to see him?

With a confident nod, you texted Jennifer telling her you’d be there.

I mean.. what’s the worse that can happen?

You’re Perfect - Chanyeol (EXO) Smut [REQUEST]

Originally posted by daenso

Member: Chanyeol

Type: Smut & Fluff

Word Count: 1.1k

Request: [Anon]: Could you do a smut with Chanyeol where the reader has body insecurities and he wants to make her feel better ;)

A/N: Thank you for requesting! I hope everyone who reads enjoys this~ And the gif ;u; Chanyeol is too adorable

“Jagiya?” Chanyeol calls out. “Where are you?” Chanyeol pokes his head into your bedroom. He smiles at the sight of you. You face Chanyeol, smiling back, but then quickly go back to looking through your closet.

“What are you doing, Y/N?”

Continuing what you’re doing, you answer, “I’m going through all my clothes, I’m giving away the ones that don’t look good on me.”

“This one looks good on you, jagi.” Chanyeol holds up a tight black dress. You can see his small smile.

You sigh, taking the dress from his hands. “It used to. I’ve gained weight.” You fold the dress again and place it back on your bed. Chanyeol ruffles through the rest of the clothes on your bed; he examines almost everything you put aside.

“Why are you getting rid of all of these? Nothing here looks bad on you.” Almost a sad look is on Chanyeol’s face.

The truth is, you’ve always been self-conscious of your body; wanting to hide any little imperfection that sometimes only you see. Ever since Chanyeol came along, he never liked when you insulted your body. He always tells you to stop or not to focus on what you think isn’t beautiful. Chanyeol has always said he loves every part of you.

You don’t answer; you begin to fold the mess Chanyeol created on the bed.

“Try this on.” Chanyeol holds up a baby pink shirt. You take it from him; starting to pull up your shirt, you turn around so Chanyeol doesn’t see you.

“Turn around, don’t do this again, jagiya. I don’t care if your belly isn’t flat. Don’t hide from me.” Chanyeol puts his hands on your shoulders, walking in front of you.

You cross your arms around your belly, “I do.” You whisper.

Chanyeol brings his hands down to the hem of the shirt you’re wearing and pulls it over your head. You still cover your belly, uncomfortable revealing it. Chanyeol takes the baby pink shirt, slips it over your head and pulls it down. He moves your hands away so he can see how you look.

“I like this, keep it.” Chanyeol goes back to the pile of clothes, messing them up again, and takes out something else. “What? You want to get rid of these jeans?” Chanyeol comes back in front of you, he’s holding a pair of black ripped jeans. “I want to see them on you, please?”

You nod, allowing Chanyeol to take off the pants you’re wearing and help you into the black jeans. He finished by zipping up the jeans and stepping back to see.

“Wah, no don’t get rid of these. This looks good together.” Chanyeol moves one of his fingers up and down; a smile plastered on his face, proud of what he’s dressed you in.

He moves back to the pile, searching for something else to dress you in. Chanyeol returns with the black dress he held up earlier. “Chanyeol, no, not that. It’s tight.”

Chanyeol makes puppy-dog eyes, “Please, only for a little bit. You only wore this once.” Chanyeol holds you by your waist, pressing a kiss on your head. “Please.” He begs.

“Chanyeol.” You cross your arms; staring into Chanyeol’s eyes. He lifts your chin and pulls you into a kiss. Chanyeol’s arms snake around your waist pulling you the closest you can get. He kisses your forehead, “Please, I’ll repay you later, I promise.”

“Fine.” You sigh, sitting on your bed. You pull off the jeans; Chanyeol takes off the shirt, he guides the dress up your legs; helping you up, he slides the dress up your body. You put your arms through the holes and wrap your arms around your belly.

Chanyeol zips up the dress and brings you to the mirror in your bathroom. “Look how beautiful you look. You look amazing.” Chanyeol pulls your arms away from your belly, replacing your arms with his hands.

“This,” Chanyeol says, rubbing your belly, “doesn’t matter to me. I love every part of you.”

Chanyeol kisses the back of your head; he moves, nibbling on your neck.

“Ow.” You whine. Chanyeol kisses the spot he hurt over and over.

Chanyeol’s hands trail down your sides feeling your curves. He pulls down the zipper on your dress, shocking you.

“Chanyeol?”

“Hm?” He mumbles. Chanyeol brings the dress down from your shoulders; he pulls it down your legs, he lifts each foot of yours and leaves the dress on the counter.

“What are you doing?” You ask, trying to cover yourself, again.

“Sh… I’m repaying you. Come, let’s get you laid down.” Chanyeol picks you up, bridal style, bringing you to your room and laying you down on the bed.

“This part is beautiful.” Chanyeol says, kissing your thigh.

“This part is beautiful.” Next, kissing your belly.

“This part is beautiful.” Kissing your chest.”

“And this part is very beautiful.” Chanyeol says again, kissing your lips.

Chanyeol then removes his shirt. He takes your hand and places it on his chest. You move your hand around feeling his smooth skin. Chanyeol moves your hand to his belt; you take his belt off, tossing it on the bed.

“Are you okay with this?” Chanyeol asks, sounding worried about you. You unzip his jeans and pull them down.

“I’m scared, but I’m okay with it.” You look Chanyeol in the eyes.

“I won’t hurt you, jagiya.” Chanyeol kisses your head.

You lay back, letting Chanyeol finish undressing himself. Chanyeol kisses just above where your panties end; he pulls them down slowly, kissing every bit of skin he exposes. Feeling Chanyeol around your vagina, you squeeze your eyes closed. Your hands grab the bed sheets, waiting for what is to come.

Slowly you feel Chanyeol inside of you. The feeling unexplainable. Chanyeol holds your waist; he props your legs up, getting a better position. His thrusts slow, making you moan every time he moves.

“Are you okay?” Chanyeol asks, moaning his words. You moan back, letting him know you’re okay. Knowing you’re okay, Chanyeol thrusts faster, you can hear his harsh breathing mixed with moans.

He goes deep, making you scream.

“Chanyeol-ah!” You slam your hands against the bed. The feeling taking over you. The harder Chanyeol goes, the more you feel out of this world. You hear grunts from Chanyeol; he now thrusts into you hard and grinds.

You can feel him hitting your sensitive spot. Chanyeol keeps his pace; you almost explode from your orgasm.

Chanyeol stops; laying beside you, he takes one of your hands and laces his finger with yours.

“You’re beautiful, know that. I love you no matter what.”


Thank you for reading! This is the last post of the night, heh, I worked on two (and posted) stories today ^^; Feel free to send me a request

MY MASTER LIST

anonymous asked:

Hey do you know any good soulmate au fics! this blog is awesome I literally can not get enough of this ship THANK YOU!!!

A Colorful World by Ninja_Ash

Summary: Everything is black and white until you meet your soul mate.

Marco has spent the last seventeen years waiting for this moment.

So guess who he just happens to meet on the bus one day

Inspired by apharthurkirklands’s Tumblr post.

Tick Tock by FreckledJean

Summary: Jean Kirschstein is 22 when his clock stops. Eight months later, he’s built himself up again, he’s ok with his new life. He’s got a supportive girlfriend, and a sturdy job working nights bar tending.

He’s thrown completely off guard though when his clock starts back up; steadily counting down the days.

The Sign Of Your Soulmate by apkidd

Summary: In an alternate universe in which everyone has a special mark to help them identify their soul mate, this is what happens when Jean’s mark starts to burn, but the person it guides him to doesn’t have a mark at all.

Who’s the underdog here ? by bleedingsmirk

Summary: Who says the nerds can’t be as much of an asshole as the rest of the social high school hierarchy ?

Marco Bodt , a snarky sassy brainiac with the ability to cut you down to size with words alone. Jean Kirschtein, the resident jock with the resident muscles and the resident bullying. This isn’t Romeo and Juliet , they aren’t in love ,but they’re definitely fucked.

Also , soulmate searching.

Inspired by Emmy C.’s gif on tumblr.

Farewell Forever by Makaron

Summary: “It’s written in the stars, Jean. Up there in the sky. Everything is already planned,” You had said, “Together in past lives, together in future lives. They are waiting for me. They are waiting for me and I have to find them.”

And yet I ’m right here, Marco. Right here.

In which Jean has a problem called when-your-soulmate-of-all-times-doesnt-remember-you-in-your-current-life

I’m not going to be replying to any messages for a few days

My neighbour - you know the one I’m always talking about - passed away the night before last and I’m heartbroken. I’m heading down to the funeral tonight and returning tomorrow because even though it feels like time stops and the world ends, it doesn’t, and I’ve work on Monday.

I’ll post pics as usual because your notes always make me smile and I could use a little cheering up.

So I don’t think many people have made the connection yet but I am swiftsginger on Twitter.

This weekend was so magical. I met Eliza several times over the two days and met so many other fans of the show and felt surrounded by so much love.

I posted what Eliza was talking about during the second panel just in general summary of her answers (not direct quotes because I was too unstable) and when I finally got back to my Airbnb I posted more that I could remember from both panels and the video of my question on Saturday.

…not five minutes after I posted about the booing incident & Elizas reluctance to continue on talking about Bob/Bellarke/the TCA nom… I was attacked by multiple CL’s calling me a liar. Telling me I was misquoting Eliza. Telling me they needed receipts.

I told one CL that I was so worked up and that she needed to stop calling me a liar because I was about to have a panic attack and you know what they did? They quoted it. So many of them. Mocking me about being triggered and laughing in my face and calling me a liar just to hurt me more.

Last night I suffered greatly. For almost three hours I was trembling and struggling to breathe because the thought that these people assumed I would lie about my idol… The person I flew across the country to see… Cut me so deeply. More than I wanted to admit…

It got so bad that a few CLs were apologising for the rest and told me not to give them the time of day…

Yesterday was the first time I went on private just to shut them up and shut my anxiety down.

To my amazement, there WAS in fact solid video evidence of what I had said and man… You would not believe how many of them sunk into a hole… What solid assholes they looked like.

Yes, that’s right, a few shitty people in your fandom booed a blarker & by extension Eliza and got goddamn called out on it.

It makes me so sad that she moderates what she says about Bob and Bellarke because she KNOWS what that part of the fandom is like.

As for the audio tape on Eliza talking about Bellarke. One of my closest friends audio recorded that and posted it because she wanted to share her experience. She came to me with wide eyes “Jade what have I done?” “So many people are hating on me and Eliza.” I told her to let me listen to the audio and I heard it in person straight from her phone.

She said the ship has sailed… And she said “maybe, I don’t know” and that she doubts Jason will go through with it… No where in there did she say she hated Bellarke? If anything it sounded like someone with very little hope left for Bellarke on a personal level (and in relation to Clarke probably not being in a relationship for a long time now after Lexa) and still trying to cover herself from potential hate.

Please don’t hate Eliza for this. She’s being honest. She can’t see it happening NOW… But there was a few other times in the con she said she liked the possibility of Clarke moving on and finding happiness with someone else again.

PLEASE ALSO REMEMBER THAT THESE ARE JUST ELIZAS PERSONAL OPINIONS AND SHE DOES NOT KNOW THE FUTURE OF THE SHOW.

I’ll be posting a full desc of my weekend with her later for positivity because this post is not an activate portrayal of how the weekend actually was because it was fantastic ☺️

An open letter from me to you, indefinite hiatus

Dear person(s),

Let me start off by saying thank you. Thank you for your support throughout the years for my music. It’s been a crazy 10 years of writing and performing. It all started with a song, “How’s  San Diego Pauli?”, and a dream of mine to be successful in music. I have to say … that dream is reality — and while it may not be success in music the way that most people see it, it’s a lot more than I could ever ask for.

I’ve written songs and have had people share videos of them online covering them. People sing along in the crowd at my shows. The best experience is when someone whom I’ve never met before comes up to me and tells me how much my music has affected their life in a positive way and helped them get through hardships. That’s what I do it for.

With all of this being said, I have to explain why I’m taking a break from the live music scene. Shows are a bit different than they were when YouTube was new and fresh and a place to find new artists ALL the time. Back then, fans and artists alike were excited to get together to play music on the same stage. Even non-musicians would all come to these shows, ready to make cameos on stage with their friends. It was a bunch of us having fun and being ourselves. And whoever was watching loved it. They didn’t care if we goofed around on stage, or danced around while our friends were singing. They just loved that we were there, at their school, in their city, and because we could relate to them. We were just like them — just a bunch of kids who still live with their parents, trying to get by, and doing what we love to do.

I grew up around people who were discovering their love for performance. When I first started playing shows from 2004-2008, I met a lot of people through MySpace and YouTube. A lot of them were first-time performers; booked for a gig through their “booking email” with no idea what to do when they got on stage. We were all used to making a persona online, writing songs, covering popular songs and putting them on YouTube. But a lot of us weren’t used to performing live in front of actual people. I mean, most of us were Asian, so of course we had karaoke in front of our parents … but this was different. Still, even though a lot of us got nervous on stage or were perfecting our craft in front of our growing audience, they loved us anyway. There wasn’t a show where people weren’t screaming as loud as they could or making a commotion after the show trying to meet us just to take a picture.

Now, I’m not speaking on behalf of everyone, but a lot of us are experiencing getting back to those days — when everyone was excited, and every time we had a new song it would be a huge deal. These days, big companies are seeing that we have the “numbers” to pull crowds so they invest or sponsor us. When people don’t show up — they blame us. They say we didn’t “promote” enough when we were doing the exact same thing we were years ago. But years ago was when the scene wasn’t over-saturated. Before, there were only a handful of us who could gain the courage to put ourselves out there on YouTube and social media. Nowadays, there’s a formula to become a “YouTuber” or a “YouTube cover artist.” There’s not a lot of creativity being showcased.

Listen: Everyone can be talented. But you gotta be different. You gotta be unique. You gotta be you. Because no one else can be you.

So now the days of copying everyone else is here — with the same cover songs being put out there, in the same style and on the same HD format and the same camera angles. Remember when YouTube first came out? It evened the playing field for all of us. No one was doing what we were doing — writing songs and putting it out there, or just singing or playing our instrument in front of a webcam. It would do just as well as other “mainstream” artists and a lot of us were even in the top 50 channels of YouTube next to artists we grew up listening to. Now it’s back to where mainstream and YouTube independent-ness is once again as far from each other as the Earth and Pluto. YouTube gives the help they once gave to independent creators all to the record labels who are mad that their artists aren’t getting the views they think they “deserve.” Vevo is taking over, and artists doing parodies is getting old. And you see a lot of creators with their quality of video being the highest quality ever made in the history of highest quality, on a song that isn’t theirs. Don’t get me wrong — I love doing covers. And doing covers has helped me so much in my career. But that’s not what I’m about. And people know that. Now, covers are taking over and the artists who are doing them are being called “cover artists” when they know damn well in their heart that they want to be original. They want to be what they’ve always wanted to be; respected as much as the artists on the radio — the artists who are doing their own songs (or songs that are written for them).

So for the artists who don’t want to completely give in to the system, we struggle. We struggle with monetizing our own original material. And we try to put up this front as if we’re still doing the same as we were even two years ago. Yeah, our views are still growing — but not nearly as fast as 2008-2011. Our subscriber count doesn’t mean a thing when the videos aren’t even popping up into our subscribers’ feed. A video of mine can max out after two weeks around 50,000 views, when before I could upload a video on a Friday and know it would get at least 100,000 over the weekend. Announcement videos for shows max out at 10,000 or less, and those are the important ones for the shows we’re promoting. Things aren’t the same, even for some who are growing exponentially as artists. You see their music mature but the view count doesn’t show that — it shows a decrease — even though we’ve been working hard to write new material and work with producers and engineers to make our music even more listenable. We are becoming “irrelevant” to some fans because we don’t get the views we used to get — or it’s the fact that we can’t sell out 500-people venues anymore. We just won’t admit that things are getting harder.

But I can admit that things are getting harder. It’s harder for me as an independent musician to be financially stable nowadays. I played a tour last year where it was 5 cities, and a TOTAL of 300 people came to the shows. The promoter thought I would sell out 500 capacity venues because of my 100 million views and 500,000 subs on YouTube. And that burns a little, to be honest. It hurts when people are so hyped over you selling all these tickets and getting you excited for playing for all these people — and then you get there and it’s not at all how you expected. But then again, when you do meet the 30 or so people who did come to that show — you have the satisfaction you’ve always wanted — the fact that people relate to your story, and listen to what you’ve created. That makes up for it all, really. But realistically, you can’t make a living off satisfaction alone. We need to have a business mind set as well if we want to survive outside of our parents’ home. And that’s just reality.

So I’ve decided to take an indefinite hiatus from performing live and booking shows. Not sure if I’ll ever come back to it because I’ll be exploring a lot of different options. I have four or five last shows that I’ve committed to, some with my band and some solo gigs, and I’ll be posting all that information on my social media outlets. The last show will be at the end of August.

My band has been nothing but amazing to me. I love them all like brothers and I wish them the best of luck. But it’s time for us to focus on the separate paths we’ve chosen, with all of us choosing to live on opposite sides of the country. It’s not easy having a band that doesn’t get to practice, write together, or even just hang a lot. All the gigs we’ve played recently have either had one night of practice or no practice at all. It’s like we show up for work and then bounce right after. We have to find that spark again. And whether or not it comes back, just know that I remember every moment on stage with you guys. It’s been one hell of a ride.

I won’t stop posting videos on YouTube, though it won’t be as frequent as it was last year. Nothing will ever keep me away from making music, so you’ll still be seeing me around — online. It’s been an awesome 10 years of playing shows all around the world … The people I’ve met and the musicians I’ve played with over the years, I won’t forget.

I’ll still be doing what I love, writing songs and making melodies … so actually, this hiatus is not as dramatic as you may think it is. I just need to reassess and focus on myself. This last year has been tough on me with a lot of personal things happening. I just need to focus on why I was called to play music in the first place. If I find that again, I’ll let you guys know.

Love,

AJ

anonymous asked:

I've stopped writing several fics because no one commented/liked them. I lose confidence. How do I keep going when there's no feedback and I'm writing into the void?

I would say that you should only be writing for an audience of one, that what matters is you telling a story that only you can tell, that what matters is the pursuit of your hobby/interest/career, just do what you love, blah blah blah. 

But that’s total bullshit, isn’t it?

You’re not writing for an audience of one. You’re writing for an audience of, at minimum, or rounded off, two. You’re writing for you + other person, or you + everyone else. Lots of people tell stories that never see the light of day, but in my experience it wasn’t because they just wanted to write it. It’s because once they did, they figured no one would want to read it.

That’s the thing about writing. There’s always the need for an audience. That’s what writing is for. That’s why there are million posts on this site alone, begging for people to comment/like/reblog/kudos fics they read. The feedback is part of the storytelling. Stories are meant to be told. Meant to be heard. Meant to be shared. Meant to be experienced. That’s the whole point.

Now, I do have a few friends who will never publicly publish their works. They keep journals and folders on their Google Drives to just write the things that come to them. They don’t care about sharing it because the writing is usually personal - only vaguely fictional - and it helps them deal with problems or situations that they’re in. They sometimes feel better making it into a narrative rather than a “Dear Diary” moment. Which is also perfectly awesome, but also not the type of writing that you’re talking about.

Here’s the thing about writing fics, that you’re starting to get: the reason we write fics is to engage the fandom, so it sucks when they don’t engage us back. When we don’t get comments or kudos on fics, we feel like we’re at a party trying to talk to people, and everyone’s ignoring us.

I’ve never found a real solution. On the one hand, I do want to tell you that you should just write what you love and damn the consequences. Hell, write the whole thing until it’s completed and then post it all at once if that gets you to finish it and you don’t have to worry about the lack of reception to hurt your desire to finish it. But on the other hand, I recognize that, except for truly fandom famous people, the rest of us don’t get shit for interaction. People don’t comment. They don’t leave kudos. They don’t reblog. They don’t like. I have no idea why. They read and leave. It’s common even for the more famous fic writers. You can beg every time you post a chapter for kudos or comments. I’ve done that, and it does actually work to some degree. Because I’ll tell you something: the comments that are paragraphs long are just as meaningful to me as the comment I got once that just said, “love!” It was important because it was something.

In the end, I usually just keep writing. I’m not a saint. I get jealous of other writers. I have down moments. Just last night I stopped writing because a troll dragged me down. It happens. But I do like what I write, even if no one else does. And occasionally I get a comment or message that makes shouting into the void worth it. I wait for those. And they do happen.

I hope this helps. It feels like I just wrote a ton of, “it’s fucking pointless” and it’s not that. I was really just agreeing with you at the frustration.

3

1 mile in the pouring rain. Run streak day 86!

Since I had my first remicade infusion this morning ( see last post for details) I feel great, good energy but I still want to take it easy.

I worked for a few hours after my infusion, stopped at the grocery store and got my mile in before dark.

I plan on laying around the rest of the night!

P.S- thank you @running4my-life for bring these bagels to my attention!!!! Can’t wait to try one! Lemon blueberry is my favorite flavor combo!!!!!

For the record, Olivia doesn’t owe Mellie anything. Mellie lost the right to claim both eternal martyrdom, when she waxed poetic to Cyrus about how much more brilliant and deserving of a political career she was than everyone else, and to the role of long-suffering victimized wife, when she invited Olivia back into their lives because it was in the best interest of keeping her closer to the center of power.

What bothers me perhaps most about this statement, and Mellie in general, is that she believes herself to be entitled to a position of power simply because she desires it. Everyone owes her for the things she has done. Not once is there awareness on her part, or criticism on the part of anyone who isn’t Fitz (who’s as unreliable as they come, since he is the devil), that her motives were less than selfless, that whatever sacrifices she has made were in the interest of using his career as a springboard for her own career in politics. She laments and wails and gripes about what a terrible human being Fitz is, about how unbearable he makes their life together, yet maintains her tenuous hold on him by any means necessary, including inducing labor and endangering the life of their unborn child. But she does it all for him, oh what a victim she is.

What she fails to grasp is that she is not owed anything by anyone. If she wants to be in power, she must earn it. She, and most everyone else on the show, constantly reproach Fitz for his privilege, but Mellie is also a creature of privilege herself. She grew up wealthy with a name that was significant and memorable enough that Big Jerry took notice of it. Her blood was even more “Mayflower Blue” than Fitz’s, so her constant ranting and raving about how much she’s struggled to get herself to this position draws  a certain amount of scorn. For her to claim that Olivia of all people owes her something, Olivia who has had to combat both sexism and racism in order to make herself into an internationally renowned name in politics. Olivia who brought together a rag-tag group of broken people and transformed them, however temporarily, into wonderful, complex, imperfect yet highly effective fixing machine, at least in season 1. Olivia who earned the respect of Cyrus Beene and transformed Fitz from a legacy into  a viable candidate. Olivia, whatever her flaws may be, has worked her way to the top.

So no. No one owes you anything. Least of all Olivia Pope.

anonymous asked:

(1) No offense but if we're rattling up receipts from every fandom then yeah, bellarke shippers can be gross and homophobic and racist, but so can clexa shippers?? Like, do you know how many times I've had to see CL shippers talk about headcanons where clarke dies just so she could be reunited with Lexa, as if the only purpose if the bi girl on this show is to die once her significant other dies and thats it? I'm still trying to go through understanding what I am in terms of sexuality and

1. the Clarke death jokes are jokes, and mostly come from two places: one, wanting Clarke to stop being the Suffering Bisexual, and two, many of the Clexa fans I know are only still watching because of Clarke, even if they’re not watching live. Clarke dying would “free them”. 

Also, lol “the only purpose of the bi girl on this show is to die” gee I wonder what…that feels like…sounds kind of like…Lexa dying once her purpose was served….gosh….how weirdly familiar…. 

(2) and some clexa shippers are just so offputting with their blatant bi/acephobia that I literally can’t stand thinking about it anymore. Also some of them take to calling Bob demeaning racial slurs and literally compared Jaha to an ape which, like you think you’d at least know not to compare the black man to an ape? Your work for the trevor project is great and I admire that, but what I’d also admire is this entire fandom (both CL and BC shippers) actively putting aside this shipping bias

I don’t know which clexa fans you’ve seen but I’ve literally never seen anyone in the clexa fandom call Bob a racial slur or compare Jaha to an ape. The only comments I’ve personally seen about Bob that could even be considered negative are the jokes about penis size–but those comments are about B.llamy and only followed from Raven’s “not much to talk about” comment and have literally NOTHING to do with his race, as no one ever made jokes about that prior to that episode. I’ve never seen anything about Jaha besides him being nicknamed “Broses”, which is actually more disrespectful to religious people than it is to black people. Granted, I’m only following 200 blogs and I never go into the tags due to hate, and I’m not denying the fact that clexakru has some bad seeds. 

Also I love how you point out the racism of the clexa fandom but don’t mention that of the blarkes. Because we’re the only problem, right? How about while you’re talking shit about the clexas, you bring up the fact that following the sex scene leak, blarkes decided to send Alycia death threats? How about the fact that Bob has deleted his twitter over sexual harassment more than once and I’m fairly certain it’s not the clexas telling him to raw them. How about the homophobia when the blarkes tried to stage a protest after the sex scene was leaked because–that’s literally it. They tried to boycott the show because an f/f ship was canon and theirs wasn’t, but we’re the homophobic ones. lol ok. 

(3) and actually being respectful towards other people from other minorities as well as their own. I’ve seen racism in both fandoms and in alarming degrees as well as homophobia and biphobia where some CL shippers took to turning clarke into a lesbian because “it fit their headcanon more”, as if bi people aren’t always facing erasure and people saying that they’ll “pick a side” one day. So yeah, if you wanna clam up receipts be my guest just don’t act like one side is completely innocent.

I have, again, literally never seen a post in which the clexakru did not respect Clarke’s bisexuality. I have never seen anyone call her a lesbian. I have seen people call something she did or said as “gay” as a sweeping term, but no one I’ve seen has outright erased her sexuality. Tbh, I’ve more often seen people erasing Lexa’s sexuality as a lesbian and making her bisexual, which is super gross. 

But while we’re talking about receipts, what about following the first kiss when the blarkes tried to make every excuse they could to say that Clarke wasn’t bi? What about “it’s probably just a grounder ritual” or “she’s manipulating her”, the latter of which literally continues to be an excuse by the blarkes TO THIS DAY because they refuse to admit that Clarke legitimately had a thing for Lexa. 

What about the blarkes claiming that Clarke was raped by Lexa? What about the ones perpetuating the Toxic Predatory Lesbian trope? What about your spokesperson, elsc.aaf, and her “that’s why they’re a minority” bullshit? What about the dead lesbian jokes that literally Have Not Stopped since 2 months ago? Because “Bury Your Gays” is so fucking funny, right? You talk about biphobia and racism in the Clexa fandom but here’s the difference between them: The clexa fandom drags people who act a fucking mess. I’ve never seen a blarke drag elshit. I’ve seen y’all agree with her and be like “well she’s problematic but…” No. Doesn’t work that way. We literally JUST called Layne Morgan out last night for posting something that could have been misconstrued as lesbophobic, and she’s one of the people who has been more vocally on our side since the beginning. 

But sure, we’re the bad ones. 

Also, remind me where I claimed that the Clexakru was “completely innocent”. I have admitted on more than one occasion that the Clexa fandom has bad seeds, as every fandom does. While you’re talking about people acting innocent, maybe you should stop bitching at people in the Clexa fandom for literally the same exact shit I see from the blarkes. 

Bellarke Fanfiction Rec’s Post #2

So, the Bellarke binge reading continues. By the time I’m done I’m going to have a billion Bellarke rec’s. But I can’t seem to stop reading. I’ve already started on post number 3, but let me not get ahead of myself.

I’ve been off from work the past few days and with  the break in school I’ve been on a reading frenzy! The stories listed below are amazballs. Like legit perfection. Each of them capture Bellamy and Clarke in their own way without deviating from how their characters act on the show. I can absolutely believe any one of these stories happened, or will or you know could be a scene that was cut.

After seeing mom and dad disagreeing last night after they finally got Clarke back I was like OMG no! You guys work better together! But it’ll work out I know it will. Anywhozer…these stories are the best. Totally read and show the authors love so they write us more LOL ;)

And onto the Rec’s:

Swallow Your pride by Quentanilien
Rain by Shippershape
(We All) Hide Our Desires by Helholden
Like A Coward by Quentanilien
I Get Off by Zoadgo
Four times Clarke saves Bellamy’s life, and one time he saves hers by Helholden
Scent of Smoke by Zoadgo
Words that tame me (and erase me) by DarkBeauty_890
Put Myself Together Again by Farfallama
You Wait For A Silence by bellarke
I Gave Up On Shooting Stars by Helholden
Fighting The War by Zoadgo
We Were Nothing More Than Stardust by Belledame
Just Friends by zetuslapetus
Sepulchral by Helholden