the one and only purple egg

Full of Suprises

Gif Not Mine :)

Hello, my lovely friends, I’m back with another one-shot courtesy of an anonymous prompt submitted by one you beautiful people. Since my birthday is coming up and I’m a bit selfish I decided to finally write this. And here starts the apology for this being so late. I believe this prompt was sent to me a little bit before my hiatus so if the author of this prompt is reading this I hope I did it justice and I’m terribly sorry that it is so late and I do hope you enjoy!

Prompt: Can I have a request where it’s the readers birthday, and for some reason her ex thinks its okay for him to show up with a new girl, the avengers are pissed, reader is upset, and Steve comforts her while the others deal with her ex? Smooches! xx 

Word Count: 2,372

A single knock rap against the door of your small apartment, however, it goes unnoticed by you as you sluggishly begin to craft a basic breakfast. You start by cracking a couple of eggs in a small purple bowl quickly mixing the yokes with the egg whites. Placing the mixed eggs in a large saucepan, you set out to make your favorite cheese and bacon omelet.

“You know you really ought to keep your doors lock, Brooklyn can be a scary place.” Your closest friend Steve chuckles from behind you. “Wouldn’t want the birthday girl to be robbed on her very special day.”

“Steve, we talked about this…”

Keep reading

the scriddler aesthetic: everything is messy. everything. eddie has spent 5 hours making an honest to god shack out of books in jon’s library. it has multiple rooms. jon hasn’t seen him in days. their kitchen cabinet has a shelf dedicated to green food coloring, with the occasional purple. jon is going to lose it if he has to eat green eggs and ham one more time. it wasn’t funny the first time. eddie carries around green apple hand sanitizer, lotion, chapstick and a nail file. jon’s best hygiene comes from eddie being bored. selina keeps buying eddie bath bombs. jon keeps hiding them. eddie keeps finding them. the bathtub is permanently purple. eddie vacuums 10 times a day. he says it’s because there’s straw on the floor. jon sees none. coincidentally, eddie only vacuums when jon stops paying attention to him. jon sings country songs in the shower. all of the recordings eddie takes are mysteriously deleted.

10

For Thinking Tree Spirits, our goal was to create an interactive packaging experience with the playful exuberance of storybooks and Rococo scrollwork, all evocative of the lush bounty of Oregon.

We designed the Thinking Tree brandmark for flexibility, personifying the brand as a contemplative woman collared and crowned with ornamental branches that either gently germinate or grow wild to fill the canvas, be it the small circular icon on the cap, or front and centre on the hangtag.

For the illustrations, we were inspired by Late Baroque mirrors to create highly dimensional packaging, using the main label for deep background artwork, and layering over it a hangtag of duplexed cardstock with a pop of purple foil and, finally, a colourful ornate frame raised to its highest relief with sculptured embossment. Hidden throughout are local and mythological life, from Odin’s ravens (‘thought’ and ‘memory’), to the polyphemus moth (whose eyespots are named after Homer’s cyclops) and its caterpillars, down to the great horned owl, whose face is composed of oak leaves.

On the hangtag’s verso, the linework is reproduced by a letterpress, whose raised ink, along with the purple string that ties tag to neck, all add to the rich tactile experience. Here, one is invited to be creative, whether scribbling thoughts or verse, notes on a new infusion, or a kind gift-letter to a friend.

Beneath the hangtag is a fable of our composition that sets down the brand’s folktale roots:

Once, there was a forester who planted a seed in the earth. When the seed grew into a great tree, the forester placed an egg at the top of the highest branch. When the egg hatched into a great owl, the forester returned with gifts. “I have the gift of speech,” said the forester, “and the gift of thought.” The tree and the owl listened. “I can give only one gift each, and each gift only once,” the forester said. “First, one of you will receive the gift of speech.” Growing impatient, the owl asked “who?” And the Thinking Tree shook her leaves knowingly.

Fic: Heart’s Companion (AO3 link)
Fandom: Flash, DC’s Legends of Tomorrow, Supergirl
Pairing: Mick Rory/Leonard Snart, Mick Rory & Kara Danvers

Summary: In this world, people find the right Pokémon egg for them and hatch their very own pokédaemon, their most faithful companion, the one who reflects their soul. Touching another person’s daemon is like touching their soul itself, an honor reserved only for the closest of friends, family and lovers.

Leonard Snart and Mick Rory know this very well.

(Kara Danvers doesn’t because it’s not a thing on her Earth. Oops!)

A/N: I blame @oneiriad for this idea. Fusion with Pokémon and daemons (Golden Compass/Northern Lights).

——————————————————————————————–

Len’s always been good at getting into places he oughtn’t be.

His mother, before she died, used to tell stories of how he was no sooner home than crawling and no sooner crawling than in trouble. Her Ninetails, long and sleek and warm, quickly grew accustomed to being climbed upon by an eager toddler.

Len’s father had married her for her Ninetails. She made a much better mascot for his informal business - egg-smuggling - than his own daemon, a Muk with a snarling demeanor.

Egg-smuggling, of course, was incredibly illegal. Normal eggs were everywhere, of course, hatching perfectly regular Pokémon. But somewhere in the many eggs scattered around, each person was fated to meet the egg that their presence would cause to hatch, to meet their daemon - their heart’s companion - at the proper time, typically around puberty. It’s said that you get the Pokémon that reflects your soul, but everyone knows that people tend to hatch the eggs they see around them. A wooded area has Eevees and Caterpie by the dozens; a seaside village is filled with Psyducks and Tentacools; a mining quarry has more Geodudes and Diglets than they know what to do with. Scientists have long wondered: is it that people are affected by their surroundings? Or is it that the quantity of eggs laid in the surrounding area that makes it more likely that you’ll encounter an egg of a specific type?

The rich and powerful prefer the latter theory. See, the rich want something new and different, something uncommon and rare. And, well, if what matters is what you’re exposed to and all you ever handled were rare imported eggs, then eventually, that’s what would hatch for you - or so goes the theory.

And from that theory, there started the black market trade of egg-smuggling.

Len had been content with the idea of finding his own daemon the natural way, thank you; he preferred the warm, generous love shared between his mother and her Ninetails, which she’d hatched at twelve, than the coldly efficient alliance of interest between his father and his Muk, hatched when his father had been nineteen and already involved in the egg-smuggling trade.

Keep reading

If The Basement Tapes were videos of Eric and Dylan crafting or baking: Easter Special
  • Dylan: *filming Eric*
  • Eric: it's April 3rd, 1999. what's so special about this day, V?
  • Dylan: tomorrow is our last Easter before NBK. our last chance to decorate godlike Easter eggs. our last chance to be in the Littleton Easter parade. we need to make it special.
  • Eric: we have so much shit planned and we're going to record it all to show the world how godlike we are. the world will not be ready to see these tapes.
  • Dylan: our Easter celebration will be better than NBK. people won't be able to handle Reb and VoDkA's Easter Eggstravaganza.
  • Dylan: *whispers* reb, can that be the name of the tape?
  • Eric: no
  • *10 minutes later*
  • Dylan: *is filming inside of Walmart* we are at Walmart buying supplies
  • Eric: *looking at eggs* how many eggs should we get? two dozen?
  • Dylan: we need more than that. I'll get a shopping cart
  • Dylan: *goes to the front of the store and gets a shopping cart*
  • Dylan: *rides the shopping cart with his trench coat blowing in the airflow*
  • Eric: *sees Dylan riding the shopping cart towards him* V, what the fuck are you doing? are you 5?
  • Dylan: *reaches Eric* wheee!
  • Eric: omg I wanna try get off
  • Eric: *rides shopping cart back and forth down the aisle*
  • Dylan: *films Eric*
  • Customers: *staring at them like wtf are those weird kids doing*
  • *a few moments later*
  • Dylan: reb, get in the back of the shopping cart and I'll push you around
  • Eric: *says this is stupid but gets in anyway*
  • Dylan: *pushes the shopping cart around the store while riding it*
  • Eric: *hands camera to Dylan*
  • Eric: *stands up* I FEEL SO TALL FOR ONCE IN MY LI- *dramatically falls*
  • Eric: OW MY FUCKING ASSS
  • Dylan: I got that on tape!!
  • *a few minutes later*
  • Eric: *is filming*
  • Dylan: *filling the cart with cartons of eggs*
  • Eric: ok that's enough, now we need some egg decorating kits
  • Eric and Dylan: *walks to the aisle with the egg decorating kits*
  • Dylan: *puts a bunch in the cart*
  • Eric: I need to get an ice pack for my ass
  • *at the self checkout*
  • Eric: FIFTY DOLLARS AND EIGHT CENTS FUCK THIS
  • Dylan: but we already have everything bagged
  • Eric: *cancels checkout*
  • Eric: *scans one carton of eggs* a dollar and two cents, that's better
  • Eric: *pays* let's go
  • *20 minutes later*
  • Dylan: *filming* we're back at my house to decorate the eggs
  • Eric: we're not going to boil the eggs, we're getting straight to decorating these fuckers
  • Dylan: we've got forty cartons of eggs
  • Dylan: *sets up camera so it's recording them*
  • Eric: where are your cups, we need cups to put the dye pellet things in
  • Dylan: *points* up there in that counter
  • Eric: *tries to reach it* I'm too short *climbs on top of counter*
  • Eric: take the cups and fill em all with water *hands them to Dylan*
  • Dylan: *fills the cups with water and puts them on the table* now we need to put the dye things in
  • Eric: *takes the camera and films the dye pellets going in then puts the camera back down so it will record them decorating eggs*
  • Eric and Dylan: *are sat down at the table*
  • Dylan: *to the camera* now we are about to begin decorating our godlike Easter eggs
  • Eric: pay close attention as this is a special routine that will make your eggs very godlike, this is a two man job btw
  • Eric: *picks up an egg* V, hold the blue water for me
  • Dylan: *grabs the blue and holds it* now Reb will gently lower the egg into the liquid
  • Eric: *slowly puts the egg into the blue* ok now we wait
  • Dylan:
  • Eric:
  • Dylan:
  • Eric: ok now we can take it out, go ahead V
  • Dylan: i'm not putting my hands in there, it's going to stain my fingers
  • Eric: use the spoon, jfc V
  • Dylan: *uses spoon to take the egg out*
  • Egg: *falls onto table and breaks*
  • Dylan: this is why we're supposed to boil them, now there's egg yolk and blue dye all over my mom's Easter tablecloth
  • Eric: *uses paper towel to clean up the mess* but we can't boil them, I have plans
  • *3 hours of egg decorating later*
  • Eric and Dylan: *covered in egg yolk and egg dye*
  • Table: *is a mess*
  • Eggs: *are drying on the Easter kit egg dryers*
  • Dylan: *tells the camera* we are almost done!
  • Eric: we have 8 eggs left
  • Cat: *jumps onto the table*
  • Cat: *sits in front of the camera*
  • Dylan: Rocky, you're blocking the camera, shoo
  • Cat: *walks across the table and knocks over all the egg dye*
  • Eric: *throws a tantrum* THAT CAT GOT EGG DYE ALL OVER MY TRENCH COAT!!
  • Dylan: *angrily* SAME
  • Eric: THIS ISN'T VERY GODLIKE
  • Cat: *runs away*
  • Dylan: how are we going to finish the last 8 eggs??!
  • Eric: FUCK THE EGGS, I NEED A NEW TRENCH COAT
  • Eric: *storms out of the house* I'M GOING TO BUY MYSELF A NEW TRENCH COAT
  • Dylan: *follows* WAIT FOR ME
  • *a short drive later*
  • Dylan: *filming* me and Reb came to the mall to buy new trench coats, as you can see *awkwardly films self in the mirror* we have already bought some new ones, *yells* Reb get over here and show off your new trench coat
  • Eric: *walks over* it looks exactly the same as the last one
  • Dylan: *continues to vlog around the mall*
  • *10 minutes later*
  • Dylan: *filming* I just adopted a bunny
  • Dylan: *films the bunny sitting inside of a pet carrier*
  • Eric: *appears out of nowhere* I go to the bathroom and you buy a fucking bunny are you serious
  • Dylan: he was only $20
  • Eric: omg let's just go
  • *back at Dylan's house*
  • Eric: *filming*
  • Eric: *zooms in and out of eggs* the eggs are dry and looking very godlike, v show em off to the camera, one by one
  • Dylan: *picks up an egg* this egg is black with purple spots, it is very creative and godlike *places egg in a giant bag*
  • *471 eggs later*
  • Dylan: those were all of our eggs
  • Eric: *films self* we're going to take them all in my car at midnight and go on a little rebel mission across the neighborhood. we're going to throw one egg at each house until we run out. me and V are the official Easter bunnies of Littleton. this will be the best damn reb-
  • Dylan: *screaming* CAPTAIN CARROT IS MISSING!!!! I CAN'T FIND HIM!!!
  • Camera: *captures a 'what the fuck' look on Eric's face*
  • Dylan: REB, HELP ME LOOK FOR HIM!!
  • Eric: why couldn't you name him "the destroyer" or something
  • Eric: *sets camera down on the floor and forgets to turn it off*
  • Eric: *mumbles* captain carrot are you serious
  • Eric and Dylan: *in a different room looking for captain carrot*
  • Dylan: *yells* CAPTAIN CARROT!!
  • Captain Carrot: *is filmed hopping across the floor and out of the window*
  • *a few minutes later*
  • Eric and Dylan: *comes back into room*
  • Dylan: where could he be??! I paid $20 for that rabbit
  • Eric: I don't care, we need to go on the rebel mission, get the eggs
  • Eric: *picks up the camera*
  • Dylan: *grabs the bag of eggs with a pout on his face* let's go
  • Eric and Dylan: *gets in Eric's car*
  • Dylan: *takes camera from Eric*
  • Eric: *starts to drive*
  • Dylan: *sees captain carrot outside* CAPTAIN CARROT!!!!!! *dives out of car*
  • Eric: *stops car* what the fuck
  • Captain Carrot: *runs into the street*
  • Dylan: no captain carrot, get out of the road!!!
  • Car: *approaches Captain Carrot*
  • Dylan: STOP, YOU'RE GOING TO HIT MY RABBIT
  • Captain Carrot: *runs*
  • Car: *passes*
  • Dylan: THANK GOD! CAPTAIN CARROT GET BACK HERE
  • Eric: *gets out of car*
  • Eric and Dylan: *are running after Captain Carrot*
  • Captain Carrot: *runs and disappears in a hole*
  • Dylan: THAT DARN RABBIT
  • Eric: we need to go, Captain Carrot wants to be free
  • Dylan: *sighs*
  • *some time later*
  • Eric: *slowly driving down a street*
  • Dylan: *throwing eggs out the window at houses* FEEL MY WRATH
  • Eric: HAPPY EASTER BITCHES
  • *the next day*
  • Eric: *filming* it's 11am, me and V are about to crash the Easter parade
  • Dylan: we're going to run into the parade right when the Easter bunny gets there and we're going to pull off the guy's head
  • *about an hour later*
  • Parade: *is going on*
  • Dylan: *filming*
  • Eric and Dylan: *waiting*
  • People: *cheering*
  • Easter bunny float: *starts to appear*
  • Eric: there it is
  • Dylan: and there's the Easter bunny *zooms in*
  • Eric and Dylan: *runs into the street and climbs onto the Easter bunny float*
  • People: *gasping*
  • Dylan: *still filming*
  • Eric: *pulls off the head of the Easter bunny*
  • Children: *gasps*
  • Eric and Dylan: *gasps* BROOKS??!
  • Brooks: WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING??! THIS WAS MY MOMENT
  • Dylan: WHAT THE FUCK BROOKS
  • Security: *starting to come forward*
  • Eric and Dylan: *runs away and takes the Easter bunny mask with them*
3

So, two days ago I completed the Alola Dex and got the Shiny Charm. I’ve never gotten one of these before, but I’ve really wanted to hunt for a shiny Cofagrigus because pink and purple coffin is ridiculous and wonderful and my favorite shiny. In all the years of playing, the only shiny I’ve ever found was an Onix (now a Steelix, named Colossus).

I’ve gotten so close to breeding and training competitive versions of all the available ghost types, was just missing Spiritomb, Oricorio and Shedinja. Figured I’d do a bit more breeding to get those, then start breeding Yamask looking for a shiny.

…40 Spiritomb eggs, and I get this.

Was just hatching eggs while falling asleep in bed, because it’s something I do when winding down for the night. Was half asleep, opened my eyes to check the screen, and HOLY CRAP WAIT THAT ONE IS BLUE.

Must hop out of bed to share achievement with world!

She’s got the hidden ability, too! Perfect IVs in all but speed and attack, Calm nature. Going to hyper train her to patch up the speed IV, then she’ll be decently competitive.

Now I just need to think of a name that’s not Holy Cow. :P

EDIT: She has been renamed Error 403. Because Spiritomb is classified as the Forbidden Pokemon. :P

9

Boats & Goats
22 July 2017

From the top: Fresh blackberries are a rare treat in Western Australia; only a small pocket of the state has the climate for them, the season is short and they are expensive! The Husb & I shared a small punnet for our first breakfast this morning.

‘First’ breakfast you ask? Well yes, we did have a second one. My Girl & her bf are spending the weekend on Rottnest Island (a 21st birthday present from the boyfie’s mum and her first visit). We dropped them at the ferry and had ourselves eggs and coffees overlooking the harbour. The clouds cleared and the morning became very pleasant; people were swimming and paddling in the winter sunshine and we strolled around the Quay and wondered if we should downsize and retire here.

By the time we left, the kids had already arrived on the island, hired a tandem bike, cycled to the pub for a beer and snapped a quokka selfie - all before midday! You might have heard of quokkas, the bouncing marsupials so cherubic they don’t even look real. Google ‘quokka selfie’ and you’ll see what I mean. They are only found on this small island. When the Dutch explorers landed there, they mistook them for giant jumping rats and called the place 'Rats’ Nest’.

I got breathalized by the police on the way home. Of course I was smug in my Dry July sobriety; just cappuccino breath. (But apart from the rare wedding champagne breakfast or something, I don’t imbibe before 5.00pm anyway.) I wonder if their figures go down in July?

My Boy has emerged from his field exercises and telecom silence at The Top End and is on a troop transport plane home. He is well, tired, and looking forward to a proper shower and bed. Bless.

camillas-foxy-pajimmyjams  asked:

DM OKAY OKAY OKAY I JUST HAD A DREAM THAT I WOKE UP FROM ABOUT KLANCE OKAY. I WAS WATCHING S3 AND THERE WAS AN EPISODE WHERE THEY WERE AT A DINER and I can't remember exactly what it was, but lance said something REALLY flirty to Keith like as a compliment and then keith got super flustered and he was like JUST THINK OF HOT GIRLS THINK OF HOT GIRLS YOU DON'T LIKE LANCE AND THEN I DIED AND I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD HE'S ACTUALLY GAY but then I woke up and twas but a dream :( I'VE ONLY SEEN EP 1

OMG I wish something like that would happen in canon. xD It would be perf. LEMME KNOW WHEN U FINISH WATCHING SEASON 3 SO WE CAN SCREAM ABOUT IT TOGETHER

Companions React: Dyeing Eggs

Happy Easter to all my wonderful followers who celebrate! Here’s a reaction for you guys!


Ada: She’s really confused why humans would do such a thing, but decides to partake anyway. Her eggs end up being all geometric and fancy. 

Cait: At first she doesn’t want to do it, but she joins in and makes some eggs splattered in all kinds of colors. 

Codsworth: He’s the one who found the several dyeing kits in an old abandoned kitchen. He enjoyed everyone being together and having such a good time. 

Curie: She decorated her eggs with lots of pretty floral designs and veeeery carefully set them up to dry. She’s having a blast to be honest. 

Danse: He paints his eggs in wild colors and wavy designs. One of his eggs says “Ad Victorium :)” and he’s super proud and gentle with that one. 

Deacon: He colored his eggs somehow so that they only show their color when you shine a blacklight on them. No one knows how, but he did it. 

Hancock: He breaks a couple eggs due to carelessness but manages to decorate one with Mentats all over it. 

Nick: Nick is sitting back and watching everyone fight over access to certain colors. Sole coaxes him into making one purple and gold egg. 

Piper: She makes a ton of striped eggs. She’s fairly experienced since she does this with Nat every year. 

Preston: He paints his so that they look all watercolor-y. He even makes a little egg with a smily face and “MinuteMen 4Ever” 

MacCready: His eggs are dyed in cool colors and little self-portraits. He throws an egg at Danse and freaks him out lol. 

X6: He didn’t take off his shades so all his eggs are super neon-bright. Sole catches him painting a little orange heart on one of his eggs and he gets embarrassed. 

Strong: He’s the one they sent out to collect unfertilized Deathclaw eggs. He returned with a massive shopping-cart full. 

Dogmeat: He doesn’t have opposable thumbs but he gets a few boiled eggs tossed his way. 

Let Me

i present to you part 2/3 of If You Love Me Let Me Know, also known as Jealous!Soul: the trilogy. read the first part here. this chapter is also on ffn and ao3.

Story summary: When another weapon asks Maka out on a date, Soul has to work through his own feelings of jealousy and loyalty as he watches the one he loves slipping away. But is it really too late?


“I’m so happy to see you – scratch my nose for me?”

Never did Soul think he’d be comforted to find Maka propped up in a hospital bed, scathed but alive and reading. Knocking over a nurse and setting a personal record in athletic feats when he had leapt over a gurney are nothing compared to the other things he’d do to be by her side. He sags against the doorframe, lungs bursting at the seams trying to fill with air while she offers him an innocent beam.

It only knocks the wind out of him.

“And can you turn this page for me? I’ve been reading the same paragraph for fifteen minutes thanks to this.”

Hard pink plaster encases the length of her left arm. That much Soul expected from the brief phone conversation that he must have missed ninety percent of in his rush to find matching shoes, because Maka lifts her right wrist and it’s also splinted in place.

Soul prepares for a migraine; this is going to be a wild ride from start to finish. “Maka, what happened?”

Keep reading

POKEMON GO TIPS

Since the game has been out for a couple weeks, I thought I would make a little list of all the helpful information I have learned and share it so hopefully people who didn’t know about this stuff can have a more fun experience!

Tip #1:

You can choose which eeveelution your Eevee evolves into by nicknaming them!

Sparky –> Jolteon

Pyro –> Flareon

Rainer –> Vaporeon

Tip #2:

The rustling grass that you sometimes see on your map indicates a Pokemon spawn point! This is an area where Pokemon will continue to pop up at before they possibly relocate themselves. If there’s a Pokestop near one of these points, you should set up shop there for a bit with a lure to see what you get!

Tip #3:

Incense only affects YOU. I’ve made this mistake a lot where a friend and I will be searching together and one of us will use an incense thinking we’ll both reap the benefits, however, this is not the case. Pokemon with a purple ring around them are Pokemon that will only show up on your screen because you have an incense activated.

Tip #4:

There’s a great trick to easily level up in a short amount of time! All you need is a Pokestop, a lure, a lucky egg, and a decent amount of Pokemon that are ready to evolve. Activate your lucky egg, set the lure down, and start evolving and catching for the next 30 minutes! The lucky egg doubles the amount of experience you get from everything, so evolving Pokemon or catching them (especially ones you don’t already have) gives you a lot of experience. Combine that with the fact that your spinning a Pokestop every 5 minutes and you’ll level up in no time!

Tip #5:

Save your candy! This tip is very important. As tempting as it is to evolve or power up your Pokemon as soon as you’re able to, it’s much smarter to wait. As you level up, the Pokemon you find in the wild will have higher and higher CP levels. This means that if you have a level 200 Oddish that you evolve into a level 350 Gloom, there’s a pretty good chance that once you level up you’ll find a higher level Oddish and/or Gloom in the wild. This wastes candy you could have used on a higher or stronger Pokemon.

Tip #6:

Do you know the white arch that your Pokemon has above them when you click on them in your inventory? That arch represents that Pokemon’s CP potential. The white dot on that arch shows where that Pokemon is currently at. Say you have a CP level 120 Meowth. The white dot should be in the middle or a little less on the arch. This means that you could potentially find a Meowth twice as strong, or you could power that Meowth up to be twice as strong. This arch is a good way to decide whether or not a Pokemon is worth investing candies in. The end of the arch represents the point where a Pokemon cannot upgrade their CP level anymore. If you find a Pokemon who’s dot is near the end of the arch, and you feel you’re unlikely to find a better one, you should be able to comfortably invest candies into that Pokemon and train it up. This also means that you probably shouldn’t power up Pokemon that aren’t fully evolved unless you have candy to spare.


I hope these tips were helpful to you guys because I wish I knew them a lot sooner. Happy hunting!!!

The signs as shit I've said
  • Aries: I'm a chill sergeant. Everyone drop and give me 20 minutes of nap time
  • Taurus: He never saw that one coming. In fact the only thing he saw "coming" was himself
  • Gemini: Nasty purple fuck doesn't deserve 1080p
  • Cancer: But are mashed potatoes sexy
  • Leo: You are what you eat so it's no surprise you're an asshole
  • Virgo: You'd let that reptilian muthafucka sneep snip the nip nop
  • Libra: It's like getting a blowjob from an angel
  • Scorpio: I'm the devil and I'm gonna go down on George, ja
  • Sagittarius: It's like Jesus crawled through my ear and laid eggs in my brain
  • Capricorn: THE BEAUTIFUL SNEEPLE THE BEAUTIFUL SNEEPLE
  • Aquarius: Hi I'm auditioning for the role of humanity as we know it and I'll be singing "The Downfall Of Us All" by A Day To Remember
  • Pisces: Nya, nya, Nyasputin, lover of the Russian weeb
five Clint/Nat headcanons

1. Clint hates the way Natasha makes coffee. Natasha hates the way he makes tea. It took them over a year to admit this to one another because they were both so unaccustomed to having anyone make that sort of kind gesture.

2. The first hoodie Natasha stole from Clint was his SHIELD-issue one, and they had only known each other for two weeks. He still isn’t sure whether it was intended as a show of affection or intimidation. He thinks it might have been a little bit of both.

3. The hardest part of Natasha’s adjustment after being deprogrammed wasn’t learning to trust a partner. It was learning to trust herself to fight alongside a partner and not hurt him.

4. After Clint and Natasha move into the Tower, she spends weeks hacking Tony’s environmental controls, much to his consternation and Clint’s amusement. Clint totally eggs her on, coming up with more and more ridiculous things for her to do. Tony finally figures out what’s going on after she turns all of the bathwater purple.

5. After the infamous Avengers game night of 2014, the team declares that Clint and Natasha aren’t allowed to be on the same side anymore. Only to realize that having them compete against one another is infinitely worse. 

anonymous asked:

omg tho sterek easter kidfic with kid!scott and kid!lydia and derek and lydia go to mass pretty much every sunday because that's how talia raised him and stiles and scott only come for christmas and easter but of course they're all there for the annual egg hunt, and lydia will only pick up eggs that are pink or purple and scott ends up giving away all of his eggs to younger kids who were too slow to get any before Jackson grabbed them all, and derek and stiles start talking because they're the

single dads, or at least they tell themselves that’s why they’re talking, and maybe derek suggests lydia give one of her eggs to scott and maybe after that they start having playdates every week, maybe derek and stiles realize that they aren’t just falling for each other, but they’re falling for each other’s families, because scott and lydia play like they were raised together, and eventually lydia convinced derek to propose with a pink ring so she can match her flower girl outfit omgg

I DON’T KNOW IF YOU WANTED A STORY BUT A STORY IS WHAT YOU’RE GETTING MY FRIEND BECAUSE THIS IS TOO FUCKING CUTE

Stiles,” Derek says again, grimacing as his knee sinks further into wet grass. He brandishes the ring impatiently in the air. “What do you say? Will you do me th—”

And me!“ Lydia prompts from behind him. 

He sighs, but corrects himself. “Will you do me and Lydia the honor of marrying…” he spares a quick glance at his daughter, “us?” 

Stiles looks like he’s three seconds away from bursting into laughter and ruining Lydia’s whole life, but a warning glare from Derek makes him straighten up and loudly proclaim: “Of course I will marry you both!”

There’s a brief moment of stunned silence before Lydia and Scott begin to cheer (read: screeching at the top of their lungs and startling a flock of birds out of a nearby tree), and they run off towards the swing set almost immediately after, too excited to stand still. 

"Dude,” Stiles snorts as Derek climbs to his feet, smiling tiredly. “Don’t you think this is moving a little bit fast? I mean, we aren’t even dating.”

We could be, Derek wants to say. He settles for: “Yeah, sorry about that. You—you don’t actually have to put the ring on—Stiles, stop. That’s going to get stuck.”

He quits trying to force the ring past his knuckle and looks up, giving an over-dramatic gasp as he sways forward into Derek’s space. Derek puts out an arm automatically to steady him, going almost cross-eyed as he tries to keep Stiles’s face in focus. “You mean you don’t want to marry me?” he cries. Derek rolls his eyes. “This was a fake proposal? My heart is broken!”

"Shut up,” Derek huffs. “You knew.”

“Maybe I forgot,” he shoots back.

“I texted you this morning to tell you the plan.” 

"You said: Lydia wants me to marry you. If you say no I’ll kill you. I wasn’t exactly expecting the whole entire proposal situation.” He pauses, wrinkling his nose. “And I don’t think a plastic Sleeping Beauty ring actually merits a death threat.

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Graptopetalum amethystinum

My own personal Graptopetalum amethystinum was bought around two years ago and it was a plant I wanted very badly but the only one I could find was in horrible shape and was very small and each of the three stems only had 4 or fewer very very small leaves. I honestly had little to no faith in it, but I took it home and it very slowly started to get bigger and bigger and only over the past few months has it really taken until the past few months for it to get in a really healthy state. That said I was out the other day at the saw another Graptopetalum amethystinum that was pretty much identical to this one, but part of the fun sometimes is taking care of them and nursing things back to health. I like to keep Graptopetalum amethystinum with Pachyphytum bracteosum because they have similar appearances, and both are also incredibly delicate.

General Info

Graptopetalum amethystinum is a purple and pink, fat egg or spoon shape leaved rosette with leaves that are VERY easily knocked off. The stems are also very easy to break especially when the rosettes begin to get long and droop, making this a good candidate to be trimmed and rerooted regularly. Graptopetalum amethystinum, because of it’s large thick leaves, can go longer periods of time with out water because it stores so much internally, which is also why it’s easy and pretty safe for them to be propigated with good results. While it greatly prefers bright full sunlight, which encourages full strong growth as well as more intense and bold coloration it can also tolerate shadier conditions but it is more inclined to get leggier and then in turn fall over and break apart. Also if by chance this plant receives too much sunlight (which in most cases is not probable) it will turn a light soft yellow color before burning, which is your que to move it into a less bright spot. Graptopetalum amethystinum can also tolerate quite a bit of heat and cold as well, being able to recover from temperatures in the 20s°F, but I wouldn’t expose mine to anything below 36°F for fear of leaf damage. Graptopetalum amethystinum is a very aestheticly pleasing succulent that is well received for obvious reasons, and I would wholeheartedly recommend it to someone who has a bright spot for it where it can remain undisturbed and out of harms way. 

Characteristics

Native to: Mexico and Arizona

Height: ≤ 1 foot max

Spread: 1-2 foot max

Hardiness: to 20°F+

Light Requirements: Light Shade to Full Sun

Water Requirements: Moderate (light to average for succulents)

Flowers: Small and numerous, Light Pink

Other: Drought friendly, attractive coloration, VERY FRAGILE!!!!!

Species Classification

Kingdom: Plantae

Clade: Angiosperms

Clade: Eudicots

Clade: Core Eudicots

Order: Saxifragales

Family: Crassulaceae

Genus: Graptopetalum

Species: G. amethystinum

Preference #81 Easter with the Family

Niall:

“Do you see all the eggs the Easter Bunny left you Whit?”, Niall was parading Whitney around the backyard to show her all the colorful eggs that you had laid out on the lawn earlier that morning. The three of you were spending the weekend at Niall’s parents house for the Easter holiday. It was always nice to be able to visit with them and Whitney seemed to be having a great time. She would clap her hands and squeal each time Niall would pick up and show her a new egg. You were sat on the patio with Niall’s mom watching the scene unfold in front of you. The view of your family would never get old. 


Liam:

“Alright let’s go find the next one!”, Liam had been helping the kids with the Easter egg hunt that your mom had made for them. The three were in a line holding hands as they travelled the backyard. You laughed to yourself, wondering who was having more fun; Liam or the kids. Things like this were the reason you hated living so far from your parents, they were missing out on your kids growing up. You made sure to capture every moment with pictures to preserve the memories. 


Louis:

“C’mon Leighton! Look at all the eggs Drew has!”, you were visiting Louis’ parent’s for the holiday weekend. Currently, you were sat outside with his mum and sister’s as you watched Louis take the kids around the yard searching for eggs. You made sure to take pictures, as the scene was just too cute. Soon enough, all 3 of them were barreling toward you. “Go show mommy what you found!”, both Leighton and Drew were in a fit of smiles as they showed you each egg they had found one by one. Days like this were the reason you loved having kids of your own.


Harry:

“Go show Grandma what you found!”, Harry had just finished bringing Eric around the yard to collect the array of colorful eggs that were scattered about. The two were now making their way over to where you were sitting with Anne and Gemma. “My goodness, the Easter Bunny was good to you!”, Anne was now holding Eric on her lap as he handed her each egg that he had found. A wide smile stretched across his face. Both you and Harry laughed at your child’s excitement. You couldn’t think of any better way to spend Easter than with your family.


Zayn:

“Look at the purple one over there Blair!”, you had been staying at your parent’s house for the weekend, to spend the holiday with them. This was only Blair’s second Easter, so the idea of finding eggs was still new and exciting to her. Both you and your mum watched as Zayn held onto Blair’s hand, as the two of them roamed the backyard. Each time she would pick up a new egg she would squeal with excitement, earning a laugh from all of you. Days like this were always something you looked forward too. Being surrounded by family; things couldn’t get much better.

anonymous asked:

Imagine tiny/steve/bucky dares clint to eat nothing but purple foods for a week

“You can’t do it, not even for a week,” Tony teases.

“My money’s on Barton making it,” Steve pipes up.

“Sounds like a challenge. I’m in. What do I get in return Stark?” Clint smirks.

“You name it, you got it bird boy.” 


At first he tries to cheat the rules by sneaking in regular fruits into smoothies while adding black berries to make them all purple. Thinks better of  it because JARVIS sees all, like some Big Brother spy for Tony. So for a solid week its a rotating menu of grilled eggplant and purple mashed potatoes and cabbage and radicchio salads. And every imaginable purple fruit he can get his hands on. He starts eating whole heads of red cabbages like they’re apples in front of Tony at any given time. Eventually he tracks down some purple carrots that he’s almost positive aren’t at all natural. He used to love grapes, but now can’t stand the sight of them, switches to plums and figures out he hates those too after the seventh one he eats. He sticks getting tons and tons of blue berries (technically some kind of purple, right?) and black berries from the farmers market and eats them by the handful. By the end of the night his whole hand is stained purple. 

Bucky smacks his knee and laughs at the sight, “What’s the matter Barton, couldn’t find gloves to match the outfit?”

“Haha very funny Barnes,” he mutters under his breath as Bucky exits the kitchen. Clint just sighs and tries to remember what junk food tastes like. Luckily there’s only one more night of grilled egg plant and mash potatoes. He’s never felt healthier in his life, its almost foreign.

As a coup Tony orders pizza from Clint’s favorite place that night making sure to get an excessive amount and leave them where Clint can smell them all night. Gritting his teeth through the last remnants of the egg plant that hes made and waits patiently until midnight.

“Well, you made it. What did you want to collect on?”

Clint just smirks.


“I’m going to deeply regret this when you end up on the news and Pepper yells at me,” Tony just sighs as he straps Clint into one of the Iron Man suits that he had in the lab.

“Shut it Stark, a deal’s a deal,” Clint’s always wanted to fly, why not make him nervous anyways?