the old fashioned society


Why is it that people think that my family and I are somehow inherently ‘stupid’ because our parents and I are immigrants?

Why do people seem so surprised when my 3 year old sister can perfectly recite all the letters, numbers, shapes and colors and then only ask, “So your kid doesn’t grow up with an accent like you?” and “did you have to send her to a school to teach her that?”

Why is it that they blame my mother, because she was taken out of school, married early, and had many kids “just like every other immigrant” instead of blaming the old fashioned societies that still raise their women to be nothing but their husbands servant?

Why do people address us with “well in America..” Even though we have been living here for a decade?

Why is it that the answers I give were only right when they came out of an American’s mouth?

Why do people look at us like we are low life aliens when we speak in our native tongue?

Why is it that people tell me, “you better be planning on getting your citizenship before trying to get our scholarships”?

Why do people pester my sisters on how they get good grades since our parents ‘obviously’ can’t help us at home?

Why is it that when I received the President’s Education Award, they announced me for being the only girl in my graduating class getting one and then added “…and she’s an immigrant too”

Why do people become appalled over the fact that my father makes as much as he does, and not over how hard and long he works for it?

Why is it a controversy when my sisters follow my footsteps and get in the Gifted Program?

Why are we blamed and looked down on just because we are from somewhere else?

America, why do you treat everyone that isn’t exactly like your “ 'native born’/Christian/white/cis/het/male ” ideal like they are worthless?



Bernie is the only real chance to improve American government drastically and to create reasonable society. Bernie represents future. Hillary belongs to an old-fashioned type of politician. She has ambitions, hunger for power and not so many ideas. I think she could be compared Trump, but she’s not so straight.

Dear Cohort,

Struggling with your novel? Paralyzed by the fear that it’s nowhere near good enough? Feeling caught in a trap of your own devising? You should probably give up.

For one thing, writing is a dying form. One reads of this every day. Every magazine and newspaper, every hardcover and paperback, every website and most walls near the freeway trumpet the news that nobody reads anymore, and everyone has read these statements and felt their powerful effects. The authors of all those articles and editorials, all those manifestos and essays, all those exclamations and eulogies—what would they say if they knew you were writing something? They would urge you, in bold-faced print, to stop.

Clearly, the future is moving us proudly and zippily away from the written word, so writing a novel is actually interfering with the natural progress of modern society. It is old-fashioned and fuddy-duddy, a relic of a time when people took artistic expression seriously and found solace in a good story told well. We are in the process of disentangling ourselves from that kind of peace of mind, so it is rude for you to hinder the world by insisting on adhering to the beloved paradigms of the past. It is like sitting in a gondola, listening to the water carry you across the water, while everyone else is zooming over you in jetpacks, belching smoke into the sky. Stop it, is what the jet-packers would say to you. Stop it this instant, you in that beautiful craft of intricately-carved wood that is giving you such a pleasant journey.

Besides, there are already plenty of novels. There is no need for a new one. One could devote one’s entire life to reading the work of Henry James, for instance, and never touch another novel by any other author, and never be hungry for anything else, the way one could live on nothing but multivitamin tablets and pureed root vegetables and never find oneself craving wild mushroom soup or linguini with clam sauce or a plain roasted chicken with lemon-zested dandelion greens or strong black coffee or a perfectly ripe peach or chips and salsa or caramel ice cream on top of poppyseed cake or smoked salmon with capers or aged goat cheese or a gin gimlet or some other startling item sprung from the imagination of some unknown cook. In fact, think of the world of literature as an enormous meal, and your novel as some small piddling ingredient – the drawn butter, for example, served next to a large, boiled lobster. Who wants that? If it were brought to the table, surely most people would ask that it be removed post-haste.

Even if you insisted on finishing your novel, what for? Novels sit unpublished, or published but unsold, or sold but unread, or read but unreread, lonely on shelves and in drawers and under the legs of wobbly tables. They are like seashells on the beach. Not enough people marvel over them. They pick them up and put them down. Even your friends and associates will never appreciate your novel the way you want them to. In fact, there are likely just a handful of readers out in the world who are perfect for your book, who will take it to heart and feel its mighty ripples throughout their lives, and you will likely never meet them, at least under the proper circumstances. So who cares? Think of that secret favorite book of yours – not the one you tell people you like best, but that book so good that you refuse to share it with people because they’d never understand it. Perhaps it’s not even a whole book, just a tiny portion that you’ll never forget as long as you live. Nobody knows you feel this way about that tiny portion of literature, so what does it matter? The author of that small bright thing, that treasured whisper deep in your heart, never should have bothered.

Of course, it may well be that you are writing not for some perfect reader someplace, but for yourself, and that is the biggest folly of them all, because it will not work. You will not be happy all of the time. Unlike most things that most people make, your novel will not be perfect. It may well be considerably less than one-fourth perfect, and this will frustrate you and sadden you. This is why you should stop. Most people are not writing novels which is why there is so little frustration and sadness in the world, particularly as we zoom on past the novel in our smoky jet packs soon to be equipped with pureed food. The next time you find yourself in a group of people, stop and think to yourself, probably no one here is writing a novel. This is why everyone is so content, here at this bus stop or in line at the supermarket or standing around this baggage carousel or sitting around in this doctor’s waiting room or in seventh grade or in Johannesburg. Give up your novel, and join the crowd. Think of all the things you could do with your time instead of participating in a noble and storied art form. There are things in your cupboards that likely need to be moved around.

In short, quit. Writing a novel is a tiny candle in a dark, swirling world. It brings light and warmth and hope to the lucky few who, against insufferable odds and despite a juggernaut of irritations, find themselves in the right place to hold it. Blow it out, so our eyes will not be drawn to its power. Extinguish it so we can get some sleep. I plan to quit writing novels myself, sometime in the next hundred years.

—  Lemony Snicket

General Gaffey, Queen’s 1st sippers reports a highly commendable Old Fashioned beverage was mixed this evening for him at Thomas, in the Manchester district know as Northern Quarter . A meritorious effort. In keeping with the highest traditions of the barman and faithful to all the principles recognised the gentlemen of the Society. A mark of seven and one half from ten is awarded, with a recommendation for mention in dispatches. 7.5/10

Why are republicans always super religious and tie religion into politics, the two don’t mix, you can’t combine a religion that hasn’t changed in decades and has old fashion morals to a society that changes every day

Lord Spicer hath been following in the footsteps of such fine British explorers as Cook, Fiennes and Livingstone. His explorations landed him on the shores of the Thai street cafe in Newmarket, whereupon he ordered this fine looking Old Fashioned and received a nod of approval from a barman resembling a young Calvin Cordozar Broadus, Jnr who then offered forward a superb cocktail that was rated a strong 8/10.