the office: my stuff

The time I ruined my high school teachers career and got her fired in the greatest way possible.

This story is widely known amongst my family and is constantly brought up and joked upon in my group of friends even years later. A buddy of mine suggested that this is the perfect place to make it public so let’s get into this shit storm.

Backstory: I was a senior in high school at the time and i had never been the brightest student. I was a solid C student and i had never received a detention or had any kind of bad student record. This is important because to this day, i still have no idea why the teacher treated me this way. The teacher, who we will name Mrs. Frank, had been a teacher there for more then a decade and was widely known for being a petty heartless bitch who the administrators saw as the golden child.

Mrs. Frank taught algebra, which is my worst subject, so naturally i had issues understanding the lessons and would ask questions frequently. To some these questions are easily answered but to me it was rocket science.

Usually when someone asks a dumb question, no one should address it however in Mrs. Franks case she would belittle me in front of everyone by saying things such as “And here comes the slow boy again” , “wow surprise surprise you don’t understand it again” “Really? We have to go extra slow for you today don’t we” etc…etc.

I tried going to the administration about it before but again she was considered the golden child. They would send someone in to examine her during class, she would act respectful and normal for one day, and go back to being a bitch the next.

This goes on for about half the year until i had enough. I went to the local radioshack, bought a recorder, and secretly recorded every insult she would throw at me. I would sometimes instigate to make up for the lost time.

Go ahead feed the fire.

Fast forward to the end of the year and im sitting in Mrs. Franks class when i ask a question. Her response, and i quote (because it’s burned into my brain) was-

“I’ve been teaching here for over 10 years and that was the single dumbest question I’ve ever heard come from anyone’s mouth.”

She continued the lesson without answering. I calmly stood up, packed up my stuff, and headed to the nurses office to dismiss myself from school. (We were allowed to dismiss ourself if we were 18.)

I went home, compiled all of the brutal tapes into one glorious masterpiece of insults, and headed back the next day to show the administrators. I sat down with the principal and we listened to a couple of the insults before he stopped me. He wanted more witnesses present as well as Mrs. Franks. He told me we would meet the next day where i could show him and the rest of the administrators the full tape.

I walk into school the next morning being the most nervous iv ever been for anything. I was called down to the office where i met with some board directors, the local school police officer, the principal, the vice principal and Mrs. Franks.

What follows was some of the greatest minutes of my life.

I watched as the administrators went from fed up with being in another useless meeting, to furious and speechless with some of them keeping their mouths open for the duration of the tape. I also watched Mrs. Frank go from confident and stuck up, to her realizing that she had f*cked up beyond repair.

She was publicly roasting herself in front of the most important people from the district.

The tape ended and without hesitation, the administrators looked around in astonishment and the principal turns to me and says “I think we have heard everything we need to, thank you.” And i was quietly dismissed from the room.

The final time i saw Mrs. Frank was leaving the room. I looked back and we made eye contact through her tear filled eyes as i gave the biggest most evil smile.

I returned to class the next week and Mrs. Frank was no where to be found. The story spread quickly throughout the school and i was seen as a saint. I had successfully gotten her fired and made it almost impossible for Mrs. Frank to return to her teaching career as well as cut off most of her connections she had with other teachers in the school. I had ruined her financially because no school district in the area would hire this walking piece of garbage.

If you’re reading this Mrs. Frank id like to take this moment to tell you to go f*ck yourself.

Okay but Peter, Ned, and May getting Greek food and Ned and May both pointing at the pita bread and going “Hey, that’s you, Pita Parker”

Pita Pita Pita Pita Pita Pita

Office-mate who loves CNN but doesn't understand how televisions work is destroyed by that which she loves most.

I work in a small office with only 6 people. The way the office is broken up I share my office with another person, so we’re essentially facing each other. It’s away from the other offices, so we’re kind of left to our own devices. I’ve been working here for about three years now, and have always gotten along with my office-mate. My old office-mate left to start a family, so I’ve been alone for a bit before they hired Marge.

Marge is what you’d find if you googled “worst office-mate.” She brings in smelly food she eats at her desk, she plays loud music in our shared space (even after being asked not to), she fights with the boss on every little thing, she’s nosy (always asking me where I’ve been when I walk back into the office, and I’ve literally caught her listening in at the bosses door). She asks me invasive questions, and when I finally snapped at her to mind her own business she acted like I’d personally assaulted her.

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Pavlovian Coffee

Sterek | Office worker AU | ~1500 words | AO3 | Inspired by this post.


Scott smacked him on the shoulder. “Stop staring. You’re going to end up getting our entire department stuck in a sexual harassment seminar.”

Stiles sighed. “No man that handsome should be that grumpy.”

“You’d be grumpy, too, if you had to be Peter Hale’s assistant. Do your work, Stiles.”

“I’m going to make it my job to see him smile.”

“Do your actual work.”

“Sure, sure,” Stiles said, finally emailing off the spreadsheet he’d finished two hours before. Having an office job, he had found, was really just a giant exercise in figuring out how to waste time so his boss would believe he’d actually put “enough” effort into it. He couldn’t help it if he was efficient.

Now he could spend the rest of the afternoon figuring out how to make Derek Hale smile.

***

“I got it, I’ll do Pavlovian coffee!” Stiles said at the bar after work.

Scott gave him an unimpressed stare. “Didn’t that just result in the barista hating you last time? I’m pretty sure they started spitting in your drinks.”

Stiles waved a dismissive hand. “That’s just because Lydia Martin had a stupidly complicated order in high school. The theory is still sound. I’ll just bring him coffee until he associates me with delicious caffeine, and then I’ll get to see him smile.”

“At which point your life will be complete?”

“Yes,” Stiles said decisively, picking up his beer again with a blissful smile.

Scott shook his head. “You’re so weird. You need a hobby.” But then Allison from the third floor arrived and he got thoroughly distracted, leaving Stiles to contemplate his perfect plan in peace.

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