the oddessy

BADASS AU'S
  • I just survived a mob hit and swam a mile down a river just to escape them so no, I’m not in the goddamn mood to play nice-–give me your fucking car or I’ll blow your head off ok?
    • and, what the f–why are you laughing? tHIS ISNT FUNNY GIVE ME YOUR CAR–YES I KNOW IM NAKED ALRIGHT AND ITS COMPLETELY IRRELEVENT
  • you shoved a giant bag of cash and drugs in my arms while running from some people and tracked me down later to take it back but oho boyy fuck that I’m not givin this back. serves u right to thinking I’d be too innocent to do anything with it
  • I stole ur car to outrun these assholes but we got t-boned and now both of us are staring down 7 gun barrels-–don’t worry babe ok I totally have this handled
  • all I’m trying to do is capture this fucking guy but you just busted in here like such an ass to try and kill the mofo and I swear to god I will shove my foot so hard up your ass if you kill him—
  • I apparently pissed of the ‘fate committee’ by not dying when I was supposed to so now I’m stuck in some fucken final destination shit by avoiding all these attempts to off me–🖕🏽 fucku you’ll never get me
  • I have searched for years, gone through seven disguises, and am LAYERS deep in lies, ALL to get to the bottom of this mystery and claim my reward and here you come fucking EVERYTHING UP-–either you leave and wipe that goddamn grin off your face or I blow your brains out, go ahead and choose. 
    • *freezes when they say youll have to kill them to get rid of them*
    • *sees them smiling at it* aight fuck yuo
  • *record scratch* yes, some might wonder how I got in this situation: me, here, with a broken nose, few fallen teeth, my entire apartment complex on fire, lipstick all over my neck and ten cocked guns pointed straight at my head, but let me tell you– it’s actually a funny story.
  • yes I am gonna be fucking bitter about being stranded in space with an alien army chasing after us, I signed up for space rocks and neil degrasse tyson not the spacetime fucking oddessy
If the planets had enneagram types...

An enneagram typing oddessy beginning at the center of our Solar System

Mercury: Type 6

6s stick close to the people, values, behaviors, and beliefs they deem safe and secure. I guess Mercury REALLY trusts the sun, as it has a tight, almost clingy orbit to our solar system’s only star.

Venus: Type 1

Just like type 1s strive for perfection of thought, actions and morals, Venus is just as hard on itself. Its thick atmosphere of Carbon Dioxide traps heat into a negative feedback loop, creating an insanely hot surface with intense atmospheric pressure. Similarly, 1s are no strangers to self-inflicted pressure that does nothing but make conditions difficult for life. 

Earth: Type 4

Just as 4s desire to see themselves as unique, Earthlings have seen themselves as the special snowflakes of the universe for millennia. It wasn’t until recently that the people of Earth didn’t think the universe revolved around THEM. Sigh.

Mars: Type 5

We’ve been fascinated by Mars for centuries, and type 5s are thirsty for knowledge. Though it seems like we’re learning more every day, these answers only lead to more and more questions. Sounds like a job for a type 5.  

Jupiter: Type 8

Like 8s, Jupiter is the big man of the solar system, with massive gravity that refuses to submit to anyone but the sun. Ain’t nobody gunna control Jupiter.

Saturn: Type 2

Just as 2s would be nothing without people to need them, Saturn wouldn’t be Saturn without its rings. 2s are their most comfortable when keeping their friends and loved ones in close orbit. 

Uranus: Type 3

Uranus’s gigantic size, oddly tilted rings, and awkward name all scream “look at me”, mirroring the desire for success and recognition that 3s crave.  

Neptune: Type 7

7s will travel as far out as Neptune, the furthest planet away from the sun, in order to avoid their problems.  Plus, despite Neptune’s massive size, it only takes 18 hours to make a full rotation. Sounds like a hyperactive 7 to me. 

Pluto: Type 9

Ah, Pluto, the lost planet of the solar system. Like the type 9, Pluto is shrouded in ambiguity, drifting dreamily in an elliptical orbit at the edge of the solar system. Clearly it’s conflict avoidant like 9s, since I don’t remember it vocally protesting when it was demoted from its status as a “planet”. 

anonymous asked:

Ach, YMS'S Twitter posts and such piss me off. It feels like he doesn't even try to understand opinions that oppose his own. He also has this hatred for Nintendo despite it being clear that he knows nothing about any of the games they make, just basing his hatred on the trailer (ie. his posts about Mario Oddessy).

yms has this problem where he can justify anything he says or does without once considering opposing arguments because he turns them into jokes

like he plays games and shits on them on his stream but when people tell him not to evaluate a game’s quality based on an experience that is entirely contrary to how the game’s supposed to be played he gets mad at them for saying he’s “not playing the game right” and claiming that they think he “decided not to like the game before playing it” as if playing a game on stream with a thousand people watching looking to make fun of something is giving something a fair chance

it’s like cheating at a game and then saying it’s too easy

@herbxlcy asked Hermione: what’s your favorite book?

Hermione: for starters there’s Hogwarts: a history. But I’m not so sure that’s my favorite, there’s the oddessy but I’d say that’s more top ten, I think my FAVORITE is probably jane eyre, by Charlotte Brontè, it’s just absolutely brilliant and Charlotte’s story is so breath taking.

Lewie Goes Home to Harrie: A Hedgehog Oddessy

Lewie is missing Harrie sososo many. Lewie is in Idaho, doing work for the new album. Harry is in California. Lewie can’t take it anymore, he must go home.

Lewie up early a.m. in the hotel. Couldn’t sleep without his Froge. Its like waking up to only half a blue sky.

Lewie checking his hair, making himself Perfect to see his Hubby tonight!

Lewie having breakfast. But there is no Yorkshire Tea…….

SO HE TRASHES HOTEL ROOM. BAD LEWIE. Causin’ trouble.

Begin road trip. Must have morning cigarette. Enjoying his Froge’s favourite treat. It makes him Strong. If He Could Fly his way Home to Harrie he would. But alas, he must drive.

Lewie enjoying the open road. Much excite. But he hasn’t forgotten Where He Belongs.

Lewie misses Harrie too much. His phone with his loves face on it makes this feel like Home when the miles feel like Infinity.

Lewie Lunchtime. Even his favourite things are Never Enough without Harrie to share them with.

Lewie in California!! He is so close. 

“Hey Angel!” he texts to Harrie. “I’ll be home soon!!”

Lewie making a matchie matchie snow elk like his tattoo! He’s not very good.

Lewie wistfully staring to Home. Only 2 hours left!! 

Nobody can Drag Him Down. (NOBODY, NOBODY)

Lewie listening to David Bowie.

Because he is the Bowie to Harrie’s Jagger.

LEWIE IS HOME TO HIS FROGE. OII OIIIIIIIII. 

He sees the smiles as it starts to creep in, cuz its there he sees it in his eyes.

Hedgefroge Tea Party

A wonderous day it has been. Finally reunited with his Yorkshire Tea…..and his Hubby of course.

WE’RE SO SORRY. What do you get when you mix a mother-daughter Dark Larrie duo and 850 miles? ..

You get this. 

@wubwubnparmaham

anonymous asked:

Is guest right a thing any where in history? I understand the historical precedence for condemning kin slaying, but is breaking guest right as terrible in real world history or is that a unique part of ASOIAF?

Absolutely. 

In many premodern cultures, guest right was considered sacred and breaking it was right up there with matricide or patricide in terms of crimes against the natural order set down by the gods. In Greco-Roman culture, for example, the right of xenia or hospitium was enforced by Zeus/Jupiter in his role as Zeus Xenios. Zeus would enforce this by disguising himself as a beggar (sometimes Hermes/Mercury would hang out with him, as he was the patron god of travelers) and then showing up to people’s houses, punishing people who turned him away and rewarding the generous. 

Ovid formalized this tale in his Metamorphoses, where he tells the story of  Baucis and Philemon, who take in Jupiter and Mercury and treat them generously while their rich neighbors bar their doors. In return for their generosity, Jupiter and Mercury spare them from a flood that wipes out the entire town for failing their duty of xenia. 

Likewise, a lot of Greek tragedies have their roots in breaches of hospitality. The fall of the House of Atreus is littered with murdered guests and guests being unwittingly offered human flesh, the Acheans during the Trojan War have the support of Zeus because Paris abducted Helen while a guest under Menelaus’ roof, Penelope’s suitors in the Oddessy die because they have abused the right of hospitality. 

And you see this in other cultures too - in Norse mythology, Odin/Woden frequently disguises himself as a traveller and shows up at the front door of King Geirodd to test him. Geirodd, being a sadistic bastard, has his guest chained between the two fires of his hearth to torture him and refuses him food or drink. Geirodd’s son takes pity on the traveler and gives him food and drink. Odin reveals himself, slays the wicked king, and elevates the son in his place.  (btw, Tolkein totally stole his look for Gandalf)

You can find very similar stories in Celtic myths, and in the Upanishads of Hinduism, where the maxim “Atithi Devo Bhava” means “the guest is god.” 

Guest-right is not GRRM’s invention.

youtube

Is it weird that I love seeing things Bo did outside his comedy shows??

High school drama what, whhaaaatttt?