the nothings from nowhere

we are all carrying the bodies of our younger selves, arms full of her crying, of her begging us to take back that night and shove it into a better place. of the memories of her leaving where we screamed our throat raw. the child we were is sobbing and we are always carrying her uphill. things are getting cold. our feet are slipping in the frost and we’re so tired. so so tired. and she’s hungry. she is constantly whispering about the small things that hurt us. 

i just want to get her somewhere warm. where she can learn we are happy, where her whispers can be shouts but i don’t slide backwards. blizzards show up from nowhere and she and i freeze in the nothing. i forget to keep walking. i want to be somewhere flat, where i can see storms coming.

but i am always always climbing.

  • What she says: I'm fine
  • What she means: In the original plan for the live action Scooby Doo movie, Velma and Daphne were going to have a romantic side plot. The movie itself was originally intended for an adult audience, but then Warner Bros decided that it should be more accessible to a “family” audience, so part of their editing involved getting rid of that romance. But in the final production of the film you can still see little bits that could have led up to a romance between the two. For example, at one point Velma tickles Daphne, and Velma also refers to Daphne dreamily as “the coolest girl at Coolsville high”. However at the end of the film Fred and Daphne kiss, and that relationship is so out of nowhere. It is built from nothing. If anything, the most developed heterosexual relationship was that between Fred and Velma because of the scenes where Velma shows jealousy of Fred choosing Daphne and of being overshadowed by Fred. But no, they choose to put Fred and Daphne together. We could have had canonically gay Velma and Daphne, but instead they give us another heterosexual relationship, and they don't even do that right.

Theory: if you were somehow able to ban every Sun, Express and Mail letter writer from using the words “elite” and “establishment” (and “luvvie”) I think all they’d be left with are adverbs and one single comma they’d all have to share among themselves.

I Don’t Want Zoro to be a “Prince”

There are some people out there in the fandom theorizing/hoping that Zoro is somehow some sort of nobility: the son of a samurai or lord, some long lost prince of Wano, a descendent of Ryuma.

But I don’t want that. Any of it.

I want Zoro to be a nobody by birth, his blood parents both not politically important, affluent, or influential. I want him to come from nothing or, at least, from nowhere most people would consider noteworthy. I want a Zoro who has had to work for everything in his life. And while he has tremendous talent in certain areas, that doesn’t mean he hasn’t struggled. Perhaps his family is poor. Perhaps he never had a family. Perhaps he’s suffered brain damage as a child which has resulted in his extreme topographical disorientation. There are a myriad of possibilities.

I want a Zoro who shows that you don’t have to be born somebody to become somebody. I want a Zoro whose strength can’t be explained away by “Oh, well his [insert relative here] is really strong/skilled with a blade/durable so naturally he is too.” I want a Zoro that isn’t an avatar. I want a Zoro that shows that through hard work and dedication and putting 10,001% into your dreams and goals is how you rise to the top. That one doesn’t need some fancy inborn powers or a reputable pedigree in order to become the best.

I feel like anything less would cheapen his character and the message Oda is trying to send through him. So no, I don’t want Zoro to be important by birth at all.

This Jily modern AU came out of pretty much nowhere apart from me being sick and having nothing better to do. (James is father but Lily is not mother. James is caught by Lily with a sick Harry in Boots. Slight chaos ensues).

“Shh-hhh-hhh.” James chanted to the squawking child in his arms. Harry twisted around, chubby hands fisting the material of his father’s shirt. “Shh, baby. Shh, Harry. Come on, baby. Come on, we’re okay, we’re fine, we can do this, can’t we? Huh, Buddy? Huh, Bub? We can do this, can’t we?”

“Bubba.” Harry squeaked between screeches. “Bubba. Now.”

“Bubba.” James said. “Bubba’s in the flat, Harry.” He knew he should have brought Harry’s stuffed rabbit, but leaving the house was stressful enough that he was lucky he brought Harry along. “But if we just hurry this along we’ll be back with him real soon, Buddy, promise. We’ve got formula and nappies and we’re on our way to the drug section, yes we are, we’re going to make that sore ear go away, aren’t we?” He cooed to his still crying son, trying to rock him properly with both hands and falling miserably.

“If I may?” A voice asks from beside him, small but strong and somehow easily recognisable despite the years it’s been since he last heard it.

Lily Evans.

The girl he spent the whole of secondary school infatuated with. The girl he thought he loved.

The girl he could have loved, if they’d had their chance.

“Lily, hi.” He smiled widely, turning to face her fully.

“Hey, James. Who’s this little fella?” She asked, although James could only assume she was being polite because of course they still ran in the same circles from school so she knows full well about Harry.

“This is Harry.” James said. “And we’re not this messy, usually. I promise. It’s just he has an ear infection and I’m not too hot myself and-“

“His mother just left.” Lily said, fighting to keep her voice level. James deflated. The pain was still raw, too raw for him to stand in Boots at 11 in the morning and talk about to Lily Evans, his previous enemy turned friend turned never quite something more.

“And that.” He nodded. “You heard?”

“I do still talk to Remus, you know.” James nodded. “I’m sorry. I didn’t really plan to bring it up, I just wanted you to know that you have support, okay? Can I hold him?” She nodded towards the still screaming Harry and James nodded.

“Watch your hearing though, I think he’s knocked me deaf.” Lily laughed and received him, settling the baby on her hip.

“Shh, Harry. It’s okay, honey.” She murmured to the baby, bouncing him slightly and swaying from side to side. James watched in awe as Harry calmed a little, then completely. “It’s okay.”

“How are you so good at this?” James wondered aloud. “Pop out any babies on the sly, Evans?” She glanced up from Harry to James for a second then settled her gaze back on the baby, speaking to him more than his father.

“My sister, Petunia, she has a little boy called Dudley around Harry’s age. She lets me see him sometimes when his father’s out. Just like his father he is, little brat. It’s nice to see Tuney though.” She rested her chin against Harry’s head, rocking him slightly. “Your Harry’s an angel compared to her Dudders.”

“Dudders.” James mock-shivered. “Harry’s only being well-behaved for the attractive woman holding him, wants you to think he’s cute - got sense like his dear old dad.” He said proudly, picking up his son’s chubby fist and shaking it playfully. Harry let out a little wail before calming again, just to let his father know he was still discontent, and James nodded.

“Right you are, kid. We need Calpol, don’t we? Evans, if you’ll return my child.”

“But he’s so cute,” She sighed, “Y’know, he’s the spitting image of you, Potter, but better, because he doesn’t have that big mouth of yours.”

“Yet,” James amended. “Give it time, Evans, I’ll have him running his mouth in no time.”

“You had better not. I just got a job in the local primary and if I have another mini you to contend with I don’t think I can make it.”

“The excitement too much for you? Because, you know, we can settle you into it. Starting Saturday night with dinner, maybe?”

“What if I’m taken?” Lily asked.

“Remus says you’re not.” James replied.

“So you’ve been asking after me?”

“You don’t ask after me?” James raised an eyebrow, well aware that she did. Lily rolled her eyes, but he’d like to think she did it fondly.

“Pick me up at 4 on Friday.” She said, smiling as she handed over Harry.

“From Huntington?” He tilted his head to the side. She wanted him to pick her up from work?

“I suppose you’ll want to be home to put Harry to bed?” She said, in answer.

“Yeah that’s probably best.” James was strangely touched she’d taken Harry’s schedule into consideration as well as her own. The boy in question rested his head on James’ shoulder as he watched Lily, his fist resting on James’ chest as he fought to keep his eyes open. Lily kissed Harry on the cheek and squeezed James’ bicep as she walked away (he thanked Heaven for those hours at the gym while Harry was with his grandparents).

“I’ll see you on Friday, then.” James listened for the bell as she left the store and watched her pull her coat tighter around her through the window.

“She thinks we’re cute.” He said to Harry, manoeuvring him and their supplies to the medicine aisles to get the Calpol and get out of the store before the next meltdown started.

natural disasters.

EARTHQUAKE: father of debris / earth shaker / swore an oath to forsake the land only after you set chaos free from your temper / rip this ground open, upend all its secrets / there’s nothing to hide now / nowhere to go / the sky runs from the sea and everything is trembling / my hands, the skyscrapers / say goodbye to the stars

HURRICANE: spit blood and salt / ashen sand, gory sky / you’ll tear your own mother to shreds / and you’re the riptides in her anger, waves gone wild, gone rogue / who knew she could be this violent / no more secrets now, just howling wind / just us and drowning skylines

TORNADO: such a tantrum, slitting the sky / grasping for stratosphere and swallowing it inside / here’s your stairway to heaven, it comes at a price / the sky torn into pieces or my rage like a vice

AVALANCHE: buried / watch where you tread, lest the mountains come alive / watch out for triggers, the next step may be your last / keep your eyes trained above, or else i’ll cave in / and soak you in winter, no heroes come here

DROUGHT: cracked lips, barren skin / the oceans are thirsty, the wind drips dry / run my fingers along remote highways, fissures in my wake, sandpaper throats behind me / i’ll take away your source of life, leave you ruptured and begging / i’m the war that makes no sound

WILDFIRE: you can run but you can’t hide / you can watch the sky burn and life turn to ash around you / the sun licks at your feet, setting homes on fire / we’re all lost now, gone now, say goodbye now / watch it all crash and flame, and then watch it blacken to night and silence / what once gave you hope now turns its back on you 

THUNDERSTORM: how the sky screams / the voices in the clouds, they stumble out clumsy / regain their balance, & lash at drawn curtains / the kids, they cover their ears in fear / of what? not sure, but when the sky is angry, no one is allowed to talk back / they grow accustomed to her mood swings, set up defence / this is you, stormy night breaking the day in half / you drive the rest of us to shelter and cowardice / when will we learn to dance in your rain

—  just tear this earth apart // r.w
Day Eighteen:  Stargazing

A thud came from above her head and she knew exactly who had come to visit her at…  she looked at the clock.  At eleven forty-five in the evening.  Marinette sighed and pushed away from her desk and sketching supplies, stretching her limbs.  She needed a break from getting absolutely nothing done anyways.  This design was going absolutely nowhere and her lack of inspiration was annoying her.  Yes, best to take a break.

She gathered some slippers and a robe for the night air before climbing to her bed and up through the hatch.  She was completely unsurprised to find Chat sitting on her railing and looking like a lost kitten.

She chuckled.  Her friend was a kitten, but how could he claim to be lost if he ended up on her balcony every other night?

“Hey, chaton,” she said, pulling herself out of her room. The night air felt good on her skin after being cooped up in her room for who knew how long.  “Any particular reason for interrupting my normally scheduled sleeping habits?”

“You weren’t asleep,” he accused with a grin on his face.  Marinette rose an eyebrow.

“I could have been.”

“With your light on?”

“It happens sometimes,” she said with the tellings of a smirk on her face.  The two sat there for a moment before she caved, letting lose a chuckle before making her way to the iron bars of her balcony.  “But really, what brings you here?  I thought you said you had something to do until around midnight.”

“I escaped a bit early,” he said with a very Chat-like shrug.  Marinette rolled her eyes and gave him a light shove.  

“You’re gonna get in trouble as a civilian one of these days,” she warned.  “And then I’d be deprived of a best friend.”

“Oh, the tragedy,” Chat mourned, over emphasizing his sorrow with a dramatic arm over his eyes. “Whatever will you do without a best friend?”

“Sleep.”

A beat passed before the two erupted into laughter over her instantaneous reply.  The night air hung over them like a quiet blanket, providing the duo with warmth and comfort.  Marinette smiled with contentment.  As Ladybug, Chat Noir was overly loud and always overdoing it, but still sweet and always dependable.  When he was with Marinette, he had grown to have less of a need to flaunt, the one trait which had always irked her.

With Marinette, he was Chat.  A boy who happened to be a superhero, but was always on the lookout for new friends. He was kind and compassionate, but still enjoyed a good laugh or two.  Even without the suit, she knew he would be a stickler for what was right versus what was wrong.  She felt lucky to be his friend on both sides of her mask, but treasured the time he chose to spend with her on this side.  To her, that meant he saw something in her worth befriending and worth acknowledging.  Just like he had on their first akuma together.

Being best friends with him now felt as natural as breathing air.  And as precious as any new fashion line.

“Hey, Princess?”

“Hm?”

“Wanna go on an adventure?”

Marinette thought she was going to give herself whiplash from turning to face him.  He had a grin on his face as if the words spouted from his mouth did not create the most ludicrous idea she had ever heard.

“An adventure,” she repeated.  He nodded with a grin.  She took a deep breath and released it quickly.  “You do realize it’s almost twelve forty five, right?”

“Yup,” he replied. She gave him a look.  “Come on, princess.  And if you’re not impressed I’ll bring you right back.  Cat’s honor.”

She observed him for a moment as he placed his right hand over his heart and held the other in the air. His grin was excited and his green eyes sparkled in anticipation.

And really, she trusted no one more than him.

“Okay,” she agreed. “Is this something I’m going to have to get ‘gussied up’ for?”

“Nope,” he returned with a grin.  He got down from her railing and faced his back towards her, obviously waiting for her to hitch a ride.  “This is one of those spontaneous things for only two.”

“Careful, chaton,” she warned as she climbed on his back.  “Or I might think you’re asking me on a date.”

Whatever Chat was going to say was lost to the wind as he extended his baton, throwing the both of them through the Parisian night air.  They had both done this only twice before in this way, but Marinette was experiencing the exhilaration of free falling and being caught while not being in control anew.  As Ladybug, when she trusted Chat she knew she always had a backup plan.  As Marinette, when she trusted Chat he was the only plan.

And that did not terrify her so much as thrill her.

So they bounded over the rooftops and it took her only a moment to discover where they were headed. The destination was not difficult to discern when they would not stop rising into the air.

“Here we are, seats for two,” Chat announced when they had reached the tallest point on the Eiffel Tower.  He eased her into a sitting position first before taking up the limited space beside her. The bar they sat upon was not as wide as the platform a few meters below, but the view was absolutely perfect.

This was the first time she had seen the view as Marinette.  It was like seeing her beloved city for the first time.  Lights glittered from sparse houses below, not too many since it was nearly one in the morning, but not too few.

“It’s like I’m looking at the sky, but I know I’m seeing the ground,” Marinette breathed.  She drank in the sight.  Lights twinkled in every hue, but they seemed so very, very far away.  Chat chuckled from beside her.

“If you want to stargaze, why don’t you look up?” he asked.  The question made her giggle at how far-fetched it seemed to her.

“With the lights from the Eiffel Tower literally beneath us?” she returned.  Still, she looked up.  As she expected, only the brightest stars shone enough to be seen.  “Not too many stars are bright enough to be seen from within the city.  Even as high up as we are so long as these lights are on.”

Chat Noir tisked beside her.  “Oh, Purr-incess.  You’ve cat a lot to learn.”

She turned to see her best friend smirking as he sat on the bar with ease.  “Did you just—”

A loud sound reached her ears.  Or rather, a loud lack of sound.  And vision, for that matter.  Her eyes took a moment to readjust and she blinked repeatedly to help the process along.

“Can you see them now?”

She turned towards Chat’s voice for a moment before deciding that seeing a black cat in the dead of night with no night vision to speak of was probably impossible.  Even if he did have shocking blonde hair and bright green eyes that usually sparkled with mischief, amusement, or even concerned.

His eyes always found a way to sparkle.  Speaking of which…

She turned her attention to the night sky, astonished by the rapid change which had taken place. The bright stars she had seen earlier were no longer lonely specks in the night, but accompanied by many smaller white flecks.  Marinette waited in awe for her vision to completely adjust to the nightlife that was up in the sky.  The stars became a natural reflection of the ground, a variety of colors dancing too high in the sky to reach.  And through them all wove the Milky Way, tying each and every star together in one beautiful sky.

It sparkled so beautifully.

“Wow…” she breathed. She drank in the galaxy for a few more minutes before turning to her uncharacteristically silent best friend. She could see him now that her eyes had adjusted.  His hair was softer in the night light, yet his eyes…  his eyes…  “Chat, this…”

Thump-thump…

“It’s…”

Thump-thump…

“Yeah,” he agreed, tearing those bright green eyes away from her for a moment to look at the sky himself.  “It is…”

Marinette smiled and returned to gazing at all of the beautiful stars that surrounded her.  The glittering stars of light from the Parisian city, the natural stars swaddled in the Milky Way above, and the excited reflections that danced in her kitty’s bright, bright green eyes.

Oh dieu…

2

And you can imagine what it was like for me, a boy from nowhere, nothing to his name, watching these legendary men tilting at the lists.Petyr Baelish, 5x04

Growing up at Winterfell, all I ever wanted was to escape. To come here, to the capital. See the southron knights in their painted armor and King’s Landing after dark. All the candles burning in all those windows.Sansa Stark, 3x07