‘Cause you wouldn’t make it in jail, Don. I’d survive, but you wouldn’t. In fact, I’d thrive. How do you figure? Shawshank. I’d do everybody’s taxes and invest the warden’s money. What are you gonna do? Produce their nightly news show?
You know what happened last month, without anybody noticing? This is for real. Webster’s Dictionary expanded the definition of the word literally to include the way it’s commonly misused. So the thing is, we no longer have a word in the English language that means literally. I mean, literally doesn’t have a synonym. So we’re going to have to find the Latin word for it and use it, but see, I don’t know any Latin. So when I say that I am literally going to set fire to this building with you in it before I hand over the keys to it…You don’t know if I’m speaking figuratively or literally.
Please don’t transfer one of us. We don’t work together enough, but the little we do works. And if you ask Sloan to choose between me and her job, you wouldn’t be able to get that sentence out before she said her job. And I really like her and I’m trying to be good enough and this here is the best thing that I do.