the new york times best sellers

  • What she says: I'm fine
  • What she means: It's fucked that actually good authors with actually good books have a hard time getting published but youtubers that have not had an original thought their entire career can write a book and their 12 year old fan base will make it a New York Times best seller

TABINOF

So as of today (its midnight here in gmt) Our boys, Dan and Phil, released an amazing book; they have come so far, they became no.1 best seller for the New York Times. They have gone on tour, released a second book, hit 3m on their gaming channel (danandphilGAMES) got a plaque on their craft channel that was meant as a joke. Honestly i have never been so proud of my boys.

Since this book theyve become happier, they’ve changed (in a good way that is) amd much more. Seeing these boys grow up is amazing. October 19th 2009 is where it all started, when they met for the first time. If Phil didn’t get that camera in the box of cereal in 2006 then maybe we wouldn’t have this world of Dan and Phil. They seem so proud of what they’ve done, and we’re proud of them.

2 years later and this is how far they’ve come. I’m nearly in tears from this, our boys.

2

I wanted to write just a couple key moments in bugheads life! Enjoy guys! It’s a long one, better grab some popcorn!
****

“I have no idea.” F.P said defeated, throwing his hands in the air and looking helplessly at his son, who was staring at himself in the mirror with the same confused look in his eyes.

“It’s impossible. This is not humanly possible.” Jughead Mumbled as his fingers toyed with his shirt collar and he tugged restlessly.

“It’s satans work is what it is.” F.P growled pulling the offending object from his neck and chucking it at the door, unfortunately Betty chose that moment to walk in and was hit square in the face by the dark blue silk tie.

“Oh!” She said surprised, holding the garment in her hand and smiling at the boys in front of her. “Thankyou?” She asked.

“Sorry Betty Blue Eyes, you got caught up in the middle of a fight between me and that jerk.” F.p grabbed the tie from her hands and squeezed her shoulder smiling warmly at his favorite little lady.

“No problem.” She laughed “having a little trouble?” She glanced behind F.P at Jughead and he smiled shyly, putting his hands up and shrugging as his tie lay limp around his neck

“This is not a simple tie Ms.Cooper, it is the tie to end all ties” he held it out to her and she rolled her eyes
“My apologies, here let me help”

Betty’s hands expertly twisted around F.Ps neck and within seconds his tie was perfectly done and she was moving to stand by Jughead as F.P stared at her in amazement
“You are a lifesaver little one” he plopped down on the couch and stared at the two teens before him.

Betty was standing before Jughead as Jughead leaned into the blondes hands and took up her space

“How are you feeling?” She whispered as she tugged on his shirt collar, her fingers gently passing his neck. Today was F.Ps final court appearance and the judge would decide if he had jail time or just community service

“Nervous. Nervous but ready.” He said, his hands moving to gently rest on her waist. Betty had been there through all of it, she had sat beside him at every court date, held his hand as he visited his father, and she had been in the passenger seat the day they had made bail, now she was here for the end and he didn’t think he could do it without her.

“I’ve got faith.” She smiled and gently tugged his tie straight. He looked down at her and prayed that she could read his mind, that she could tell just how much her being there meant to him, just how grateful he was for her. He dropped a kiss to her lips but quickly pulled back when he saw the bright flash go off beside him.

“Dad!”

“What?” The older man held up the Polaroid proudly “its for the grandchildren. You’ll thank me when you’re older.”

Betty shook her head and giggled, grabbing the truck keys and smiling

“Alright boys, onward and upward and into the jaws of death.”

The two Jones boys shook their heads and smiled. Betty Cooper was something else.
****

“It doesn’t matter mom, it wasn’t meant to last, you knew it, I knew it, he knew it. We were just fooling ourselves. If Veronica stops by tell her I’ll be over tonight. I just… I need..” as Betty’s eyes filled with tears, she shook her head quickly and ran up the stairs, slamming her door as she collapsed into sobs on her bedroom floor.

Alice placed a hand to her heart, her daughter was in pain and it physically hurt her to see the normally bubbly blonde revert back to her old ways. She hadn’t seen Betty this upset since sophomore year. Taking a deep breathe she moved to start up the stairs when a pounding on her front door stopped her in her tracks

“Ms. Cooper! Please! Ms. Cooper, you have to let me in! Please let me explain! Please!” Jughead was pleading with her from the opposite side of the door, opening it slowly she was met face to face with her daughters absolutely frazzled boyfriend. Jughead beanie was missing and the flannel he wore was buttoned completely wrong, while his suspenders hung unclipped at his side, his dark waves were a mess.

“Oh thank god” he mumbled, rushing into the household “she doesn’t understand that she’s all i want, she doesn’t know how much she means to me, I don’t care about any of those fancy names or big places, all I want is her, I shouldn’t have said some of the things I said but she’s just so stubborn ya know? I mean I…” he was cut off by the quick and heavy footsteps sprinting down the stairs

“Stubborn?! I’m stubborn?! Have you looked in the mirror recently? I’m just trying to stop you from making the biggest mistake of your life! I’m so sorry for trying to help you!” She shouted in his face, pushing past her mother and standing toe to toe. Alice Cooper stood frozen in her spot.

“Don’t you get it?! You are my life! You’re everything to me. I don’t care about any stupid acceptance letters or big name schools, I want to be wherever you are! My publicist doesn’t care where I’m located, I can write my books from anywhere!” He was begging her but she shook her head.

“I’m not leaving Riverdale Jughead, my family is here, pollys here, baby jayjay is here. They have a great elementary education program at Riverdale Community. I’m staying here. But you! There’s a whole world for you to see out there! I love you and I’ll miss you so much but I cannot be the reason you miss out on seeing the world!” Tears were falling freely down her cheeks now and he placed his palms on either side of her face

“You are my world! Everything I want is right here. I love you. I love Riverdale, if this is where you want to stay, this is where we’ll stay. My dads here, and Jellybean comes here every summer, this is my home too. My home is wherever you are! My first book is already doing so well I can afford to get us an apartment! Don’t you want to be with me?” He wiped at her tears as his own built in his eyes

“Of course I do! I love you. I just don’t… I don’t want you to hate me.. to resent me with time.” Her eyes dropped and he shook his head

“I love you. I could never hate you. I would follow you anywhere, you’re just saving me a trip.” He smiled when he heard her quietly giggle and he pressed his lips to hers
“Wherever you go I’m right beside you okay?” He asked as she nodded

Suddenly the couple was blinded by a bright light and looked up find Alice Cooper standing before them with a digital camera in her hands

“Mom!”

“That was beautiful! I’m an old woman let me live vicariously through your love” she snapped a few more as Betty and Jughead rolled their eyes before both posing goofily for the camera.
***

She laughed as F.P swung her around the dance floor, sending her poofy white dress flying as he lifted her off her feet before placing her back on the ground and holding her by the waist.

“So how does it feel to officially be a jones?” He asked as they slow danced to the familiar father daughter track.

“Long overdue I’d say” she giggled as he puffed his chest out proudly. “Thank you for walking me down the aisle, I invited my dad to the reception but…” she trailed off looking around sadly.

F.p shook his head, Hal Cooper was an absolute idiot, that he was certain of.
“No Betty, Thankyou. You saved my life. You saved my sons life and I can’t repay you for that, you stuck by him through it all, and I know what a tough son of a bitch he can be.” Betty giggled

“Hey that’s my husband you’re talking about!” She smiled brightly.

“You’re decision not mine” the older man teased, spinning Betty around “anyway. I couldn’t ask for a better daughter in law, so thank you for saving both of us.” Betty wiped at her tears as F.P let his freely fall

“Are you making my wife cry on our wedding day?” The familiar timber of Jugheads voice caused them both to smile. F.p gently shoved Betty into his sons arms and took Alice by the hand

“We’re bonding.” He shrugged before moving to the center of the dance floor, Alice laughing the whole way.

“What was that all about Mrs.Jones?” Jughead asked slightly concerned at her tears.

Looking up at her husband, Betty smiled happily
“Nothing at all Mr. Jones.” He beamed as he dropped a kiss to her lips

“This way you two!”

Veronica called from beside them, she held her camera up and motioned for them to smile as she snapped the picture. Veronica took photos fro fashion magazines all over the world and as Betty’s bridesmaid she demanded she also be the Wedding photographer. Looking up at Jughead as he stared lovingly down at her, she ignored the bright flash of the camera and stared deep into her brand new husbands eyes.
****

“Oh no.” She stood in front of the mirror.

Jughead came running out of the bathroom
“Oh no what?!” He asked frantically, reaching for the bag by the bed.

“I look like a whale.” Betty said blandly, still staring at her reflection in the mirror “might as well call sea world, who needs a book launch, I’ll just start a new career as the first pregnant whale to speak English.” She pouted as she tugged on the skin tight black dress, pulling her nude heel over her foot.

Jughead bit his lip to keep from laughing, tonight was the launch of their very first book as co authors, it had gone over so well that they were already number five on the New York Times Best Seller List. Apparently the concept of a couple writing a book together did very well for sales and they were already sky rocketing, Us Weekly had actually written a two page spread on the “Small Town Star Crossed lovers.” Unfortunately Betty was six months Pregnant and all belly, she seemed to gain no weight anywhere else and as a first grade teacher she was used to flowy sundresses and flats. The stylist had picked out a tight dress and high heels, she looked absolutely amazing to Jughead but apparently the mirror said something else.

“You look beautiful. Too beautiful to even argue” he wrapped his hands around her waist and rubbed her baby belly.

“Really?” She wasn’t one to be vain but hey, pregnancy really does things to your self confidence.

“ absolutely.” He pressed a kiss to the shell of her ear and felt her shudder. Oh yes.

“Alright who’s ready for pictures!” Kevin came into the room and waved his tablet around. Oh did I mention? Kevin was the Jones family manager.

Jughead rolled his eyes and smiled goofily at Kevin as Betty stuck her tongue out

Kevin snapped the picture and in a dull, unamused voice exclaimed

“Charming”

Jughead smiled down at his wife and bent down to press a kiss to her tummy for good luck

“Ready mama?”

“You got it daddy.” She giggled.

****

“Ma! Come here!”

Betty came barreling down the stairs, her ten month old daughter , Lila, snuggled against her chest

“What’s the matter Cody?!” She looked him up and down for any damage

“Chill mom, I just wanted to know what this was.” The nine year old boy held up the dark blue album and handed it to her, gently taking Lila in his arms and pressing a kiss to her forehead. Betty smiled at the scene in front of her as she ruffled her sons dark waves.

“This is Mine and your dads, it’s our memories.” She opened the album and began flipping through the pages, pointing out pictures and telling the story that went along with each one, Cody was in hysterics and Lila had fallen back asleep.

“Dad really wore that beanie everyday?” He asked, wiping his eyes from laughter

“Yeah well you wear your burger boxers everyday to school.”

Both Betty and Cody turned around at the familiar voice, Jughead stood against the door frame, arms crossed and grinning.

“It’s different! Not everyone can see them! How did you even land mom! She was like… well.. no offense mom but you were a babe and dad… not so much!”

Jughead snorted
“Oh no offense mom? What about no offense dad?” He walked forward and started tickling his son who began laughing like crazy and grabbing at his dads hands, Lila woke up and stirred reaching her arms out for her older brother

“I’ll go feed her! Then I’m going to go play basketball with Jason Andrews, next door.” Cody gently grabbed his baby sister and led her to the kitchen.

Jughead plopped down beside his wife and draped an arm over her shoulders, staring down at the album

“How did I land you?” He asked, gently nuzzling her neck as she stretched.

“Right back at you Romeo.” She dropped her lips to his.

INFP Writer Thing #6

INFP: This is SO good. Like I am so amazing at this, genius.
INFP: No, no this is the one, like I can’t have done this more perfectly if I tried
INFP: I am so talented
INFP: This would be a New York Times Best Seller, hands down
Friend: Oh I forgot, you write! Can I read some of your stuff?
INFP: *Stares with eyes glazed over*
INFP: NOOOOOOOO!!!! I- I can’t, It’s horrible. I, OH NO!!! It needs to be burned with FIRE and BURIED!!!! 

shinda-hyojo  asked:

Hello is this recommendation service still a thing, if so i need a comic equally awesome as scott pilgrim, i cant get it over with. Pd: i already tried hate.

Recommendations are definitely still a thing, ask away!

If you’re looking for something to read after Scott Pilgrim, check out:

GIANT DAYS 

Susan, Esther, and Daisy started at university three weeks ago and became fast friends. Now, away from home for the first time, all three want to reinvent themselves. But in the face of handwringing boys, “personal experimentation,” influenza, mystery mold, nuchauvinism, and the willful, unwanted intrusion of “academia,” they may be lucky just to make it to spring alive.

BLUE MONDAY

Experience the Pepsi-fueled misadventures of Bleu L. Finnegan, comics’ favorite blue-haired, Buster Keaton-obsessed, Adam Ant-worshipping teenager from the very beginning!

SNOTGIRL

WHO IS LOTTIE PERSON? Is she a gorgeous, fun-loving social media star with a perfect life or a gross, allergy-ridden mess? Enter a world of snot, blood, and tears in this new ongoing series from New York Times Best Seller BRYAN LEE O'MALLEY (Scott Pilgrim) and dazzling newcomer LESLIE HUNG!

PHONOGRAM: THE SINGLES CLUB

Seven individual-yet-interconnected stories set in a single night in a single club, each staring a young phonomancer, each exploring a different mystery of music and magic. 

FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT THERE IS NO CORRECT WAY TO RP. you don’t have to be the next new york times best seller with your writing and knock out novella style replies every time, but you can if you want to. you can write one-liners, dialogue RP is a perfectly legitimate way to RP — if you don’t like one-liners, cool, find like-minded RPers and leave the one-liner people be. want to use icons? cool! want to use gifs? cool! want to use nothing at all and just go pure text? cool! don’t want to make all these aesthetic graphics for your blog? cool! it’s about what you want with your blog.

RP is a hobby. you can make RP be whatever the fuck you want. there are no rules. find people that write in the way that matches up with your own and are comfortable with similar concepts as you. you don’t have to write with the entire community. HAVE FUN. make it your own experience, and don’t judge someone for doing things their way.

The Walking Dead:  Compendium One | Buy-Now!

Introducing the first eight volumes of the fan-favorite, New York Times Best Seller series collected into one massive paperback collection! Collects The Walking Dead #1-48.  This is the perfect collection for any fan of the Emmy Award-winning television series on AMC: over one thousand pages chronicling the beginning of Robert Kirkman’s Eisner Award-winning continuing story of survival horror- from Rick Grimes’ waking up alone in a hospital, to him and his family seeking solace on Hershel’s farm, and the controversial introduction of Woodbury despot: The Governor. In a world ruled by the dead, we are finally forced to finally start living.  

anonymous asked:

What's the "worst fanfic ever" and what abou the book? I read the link but I still don't understand. I wasn't around here back then

OKAY HOLD ON TO UR FUCKIN HAT HERE ANON UR ABOUT TO GET UR MIND BLOWN

so back in the day (when I was a youngin who had just discovered fanfiction.. like we’re talkin ‘06 here) a particular story in the harry potter fandom swept the internet. it changed lives. turned people off fanfic. turned people onto fanfic. converted people to religious lifestyles probably 
reactions included but was not limited to: laughing, crying, screaming, uncontrollable rage, confusion, vomiting, dizziness, a strong urge to buy out the entirety of ur local hot topic

needless to say.. it caused some controversy.

while the original story on fanfiction.net got removed eons ago, some saviours with hella foresight had saved it, and have reuploaded this iconic work of art on various other platforms for ur viewing pleasure

buckle ur seatbelts bc ur in for a ride my dude

I will now include an excerpt which I believe really reiterates the literary genius of this fic

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”

It was…………………………………………………….Dumbledore!  

and because my immortal wouldn’t be what it is without those authors notes, i’ll include one as well

Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!

by now i’m assuming you’ve at the very least gotten some sense of what this story’s deal is but seriously read it no words can genuinely describe the journey this takes u on but basically it’s known as the worlds worst fanfic and rightfully so. 

recently there was a book released called ‘handbook for mortals’ by a lani sarem. the writing was so horribly, so dreadfully and so similarily bad that people couldn’t help but make a connection between the two. causing further controversy, the release of the book saw itself top the new york times best seller list…. despite the online census that the book was ridiculously bad. the internet, as it does, did a little digging and found the author and her publishing team bought out her book in bulk in order to up the number of units she sold.

essentially, she bought her way to the top. and people were not happy about that. for obvious reasons.

but someone was not too keen on people connecting my immortal and HFM. despite hiding their online presence for years due to ridicule and hate, they had to speak out and clear the air. and that was the actual writer of my immortal. she updated her fictionpress (which appears to be her only connection nowadays to her original account) and reiterated her definite lack of involvement in HFM and her opinion on sarem and her team buying their way to success.

even the writer of the worst fanfiction in the world doesn’t want to be associated with what could quite possibly become the worst book in the world.

and thats the tea

Chris Colfer - Mogul

Reading this response post by Ranwing, really got me thinking about Chris Colfer’s career to date.  This man is only 3 weeks into his 27th year. He’s been professionally active for 9 years, starting when he was just 18.  In that time he has:

Written 13 books, most of which were New York Times best sellers (in no particular order: TLOS 1-6, Trollbella Throws a Party, The Curvy Tree, The Mother Goose Diaries, Red Riding Hood’s Guide to Royalty, TLOS Fairy Tale Treasury, Struck By Lightning, Stranger Than Fanfiction.)

Did the audio book versions of all of the above.

Co-starred in 6 seasons of Glee, in a part that was written for him because he impressed the casting director and creator so much, and for which he won a Golden Globe, several People’s Choice and Teen Choice awards, was nominated for 2 Best Supporting Actor Emmys, and a number of other nominations.

Wrote and starred in “Struck By Lightning”, which he filmed in just three weeks after writing the script on the second of two national/global tours for Glee.

Guested in 2 episodes of “Hot in Cleveland”, an assortment of game shows, variety shows, web series, and movie voiceovers.

Played a small part in “Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie”, which was written to include him because he’d charmed and impressed its star/writer so much.

Chosen to appear in the special production of “8″ with the likes of Martin Sheen, Brad Pitt, Kevin Bacon, and an assortment of other A-List actors.

Hand selected to appear in Robodog and the Noel Coward movie. These sadly went un-filmed due to funding issues, but the honor of being cast in them is still impressive. Ditto with being asked to adapt the children’s book “The Little Leftover Witch” for Disney, which was ultimately shelved due to production of a different ‘witch’ program by the studio.

“Indigo” series currently in development, pending a network or cable distributor, for which Chris will most likely write, direct, and act in at least some of the episodes.

I may have forgotten something here, but this list makes me both proud and tired!  (ETA: Magazine honors such as Time 100 in 2011 and the 30 Under 30 hot list.)