the new midnight society

Show Girl

show girl, show girl she’s idealism at it’s finest. the way she can tranquilize men is astounding, with fingernails as long as ivory talons. she’s a serpent with a sly red smile. show girl, show girl speak to her once and you’ll never die. we danced with weird men all through the night. she grabbed them by the wrist and threw them to the gods. show girl, show girl will you show me your ways? 

I should have known not to get closer to you.
Your flame, though to her, very little, was a forest fire to me.
I should have known that I would get burnt.
But what do I do?
I ignore all logic and reasoning.
Why did I get attached so easily?
But oh why can’t I be yours?
All I wanted was to feel a little love from you but you don’t care.
And now you’re sleeping soundly, dreaming of her,
And I’m here feeling like my heart was just ripped out of my chest.
Cliché I know, but I finally understand why they say that.
There’s a hole where my heart used to be.
You took it without knowing.
And honestly?
You can keep it.
It beats for you anyway.
- Happy fucking birthday (May 6th)

12 am

When it’s 12 am midnight
My hands and head are restless to write
But terrified
To cut open my mountains for what I might
Mined from my mind
Molten heart and ice
Freedom thought and vice
Not enough time
Not enough light
Choking on toxic gas I
Stumble back and fight
The earthquakes caused by my beating heart’s might
To stable my soul and keep it held tight
No rupture of earth in me this midnight


: joe blo.

If I were drunk right now, i’d.. i’d say it.

of all the ways to express lust.. I chose to pray it

I’m getting tired of these 3 a.m. cravings

and these sleepless nights where we stay in

Sometimes I wonder where you could take me

Same nights I feel i’m attracted to who you are potentially

I’ve watched you grow into a person slightly suitable for me..

but i’m not really sure what it is i’ve been looking to see

in anyone.

If I were high right now, I’d probably say it

your laughs so fucking annoying, but that smile.. I can’t take it

I can’t remember what it’s like to feel this vacant

I’ve been waiting on your heart to come back from vacation

How many times are you going to tell me you can’t make it?

How many signs of pathetic till you give me some attention?

How many silent nights of lonely have I missed? 

Tired of being over bearing but n the midst of stripping me without unfolding

I can’t help but miss your hands and how they mold me.

If you were mine right now.. I could say it

you ever wonder why life takes love the same way it gave it?

easily friends, complicatedly lovers

we made sense before you touched me and made me feel sure

we were meant to be, you were meant for me, forsure

as many seasons have passed, leaving “us” in the past

If you were sitting beside me and I were faded..

I could still get you fucked up on my love.

because some nights I know how much you crave it, too..

You are not your midnight thoughts.
You are not the 12 am that feels like drowning
as dark envelops the shades of your eyes.
You are more than those times
when you tried to battle with drowsiness
because of the deadliest deadline the morning after.
You are not the suicidal voice
that whispers in your ears when the clock
says it’s already 1 am.
You are not regrets that knock
when 2 am arrives and you feel like
you missed and wasted so much of times.
You are not depression that hits you
as the wind blow colder in 3 am,
when you think that the world is having fun
while you are stuck in you damn lonely bed for two
and have nothing but your body and pillows.
You are not the dreams gone by
when you realize that it’s already 4 am
and that you are tired of being awake
but still can’t close your eyes fearing
of the nightmares of the dawn.
You are not your tears
when you can’t hold it in anymore
when the time falls 5 am and the breeze
reminds you of being alone,
and your blanket is too huge for solo sleep,
while the space on your bed longs for another body.
You are not sadness that strikes at 6 am
when you see the street lights 
through your window slowly turning off
and joggers on the street start running.
You are not the rush 7 am brings
when you force to fix yourself 
to dwell with morning after the sleepless night
with only coffee as your therapy. 

-Insomnia(You are not those nights), Albertus

stars follow you, my midnight misfortune. your irises are aflame & reflect an ocean of pinpricks. at the moonlit peak, where our bodies gasp iterations of prayers we once knew, you rainbow-drizzle my heart. and i know these things take time but time’s as elusive as your light and i’m burning my own bones to keep you, biding the roses into a bright we can reuse. yesterday i was a fever, today i thought i was a bruise. but you whispered a wound kindled into a wildfire, a kiss set to ache. tell me another name for love is a dystopia where the streets crawl and my lips chafe you, tell me how flesh eats at flesh and peels away fires, tell me how you are death by a thousand cuts. how you touched icarus and he fell. warn me off this drunken lullaby, this ghost-hearted intoxication.
—  cricket-speak || j.r
It’s sad that we become strangers faster than become lovers.
—  Late night thoughts #26 // it’s not fair, but hey, life isn’t fair.