the new flesh light

a playlist to rot to

day old hate - city and colour
degausser - brand new
drive my soul - lights
first love never die - soko
flesh and bone - keaton henson
flux and flow (acoustic) - lights
for marlon - soko
haunting - halsey
happy hippie birthday - soko
is this happiness - lana del rey
is this it - the strokes
ive been alone too long - soko
lying to you - keaton henson
no more home, no more love - soko
oil and water - lights
pink rabbits - the national
portal - lights
red love - pia mia
ribs - lorde
roman holiday - halsey
sad dream - sky ferreira
skin - grimes
the heart wants what it wants - selena gomez
trouble - halsey
up up and away - lights
you - keaton henson
you are my sunshine - johnny cash
you don’t know how lucky you are - keaton henson
10am gare du nord - keaton henson

I pen you down.
I make you every poem between my words.

No salt. Or sword. Or fire.

But a breathing metaphor of
flesh turned light.

When you leave I carve
a new language out
of your absence.

The leftovers from your privation
turns into an animal,
gnaws at my thighs, bites my ankles
to blood.

I pull away the pen.
If i dont write it,
if i dont continue this,
will you be alive still?
Are you still living?

I did not create you.
But how does that stop me from
holding back the air
from your lungs?

I am hurting. I am hurting.
I will make you bleed.
I will leave you bleeding.

I pen this down.
And the language says
not now, not ever.

The language says
forgive him
be kinder than he was,
be gentle than he deserves.

The language says
holy isn’t cruelness at its
peak. The language says
here is a poem.

And the poem says
you are better than this.
You are a god that chooses to
pick out glory from the gore.
You are a god
who looks at blood and
it turns into honey.

The language says
let go, let go.

You are. You are.

—  Nayha Y. “The absence of it all.”