dearest betrothed.

Papa I: I love you like the sun loves the moon. they, being on opposite sides of time, are just like you and I. in my earliest thought, it would have been unlikely that are paths would have crossed. but fate, as fortune as it is, has allowed the permissible. you have rekindled a once doused fire, in this old heart.

Papa II: your likeness is that of a soft, gentle breeze upon a lonely mountaintop. below that mountain, lie creatures most monstrous. winged raptors, whipping and clawing at the eyes of beings, foolish enough to oppose them. wolves, tearing at the flesh of men egotistical enough, to try and counter their strength and might. their merciless jowls, snapping men’s bones like balsa wood. remnants of ligaments and tendons, wedged betwixt their teeth. and the serpents of the deep sea, dragging humans down the the deepest depths. snatching them from the atrocious ocean currents, all the way down to the seventh circle. for they have preyed on treasures that do not belong to them. ah, perhaps, I have done something smiled upon, to have been gifted that gentle breeze.

Papa III: I want to eat your ass like groceries.

I’m actually really worried for the guys come the Maiden tour. that schedule looks…..insane. then again, it’s nothing that hasn’t been done before. but DAMN though.

I’m starting to get the feeling that Papa is the type of dude that has to constantly be moving. like. constantly be producing something and creating things in order to feel good. like a machine that constantly has to be doing SOMETHING in order to feel good. and to feel good about themselves. he just doesn’t seem like the type of person to chill, and be okay with it.

armchair psychology analysis that no one asked for but IVE BEEN THINKING IT FOR A LONG TIME.

I hope they all take care of themselves. especially Papa with his voice, because we all know what happened last year.

the last thing that Papa needs is polyps developing on his vocal chords. like Chibi from The Birthday Massacre.

some of my favorite bands in a nutshell.

Rammstein: GIANT FLAMING DICKS

Ghost: SEXY SWEDISH SATIRICALLY SATANIC POPE DADDIES.

Sabaton: FUCKING NERDS BUT ALSO HOT SO YOU WOULD GLADLY GIVE THEM SEX IN EXCHANGE FOR DOING YOUR HISTORY HOMEWORK.

Rob Zombie: SPOOKY SKELETON COWBOY.

KMFDM: ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY.

System of a Down: YOUR COUNTRY IS FUCKED THE WORLD IS FUCKED AND WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOUUUUUU.  AND ALSO ANGRY.

Marilyn Manson: MY GENDER IS CONFUSED.

The Birthday Massacre: IT LOOKS AND SOUNDS LIKE A BEAUTIFUL TOPSY TURVY WONDERLAND BUT I KNOW SOMEONE IS PROBABLY GETTING MURDERED.

terms of endearment.

Papa I: the moon shines brightest for those courageous enough. the path shows itself, only to those who are willing to endure. these old bones have seen many hardships, and dark times. I shall cradle your hand and body alike. where lightest meets darkest, and darkest meets lightest. you need not prove yourself to me, as I already know your beautiful truth.

Papa II: gallows are reserved for the weakest of men. they grovel and weep as they succumb to their inevitable demise. the threads that bind those closest to me, are woven ever so tightly. follow me, and you shall feast among the Gods. betray me, and the demons’ howls will ring forever in your ears. my love is not a token or a prize, but a treasure. a treasure that you must dig through the shit of the soil and rot to find. come with me, and I will give you evenings, your mind and body will never forget.

Papa III: u want sum fuk?