the most popular trolls in school

Sirius x Reader / Good Friends

(Some helpful background info: I went ahead and gave the reader a last name to add “depth” and also describe her as having curly hair. I’m trying to write for a diverse audience because I see a lot of fics where the reader is white but I think I can be progressive. If anyone has tips though I’d accept them quite gratefully.)

You are super cool and tight with Sirius but Lucius Malfoy is a lusty little nuisance which will come later in… Part Two!


He knew very little about her. Only that she was incredibly intelligent, top of the class and every professor’s favorite student. Clever as hell with a reputation for standing up for the little first through fourth years who got stomped on by the older Slytherins. She was very beautiful, her family was very old, therefore very rich and Lucius Malfoy was very interested.

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8

WIZARDING SCHOOLS AROUND THE WORLD: SCANDINAVIA

Formed shortly after the Kalmar Union in protest against Durmstrang’s growing acceptance of the Dark Arts, the Scandinavian Academy for Sorcery Studies is situated in an undetectable location in Hinnøya for students predominantly from Denmark, Norway, and Sweden (and occasionally Finland, Iceland, and the Faroe Islands on account of their historical associations with the region) whose parents preferred for them to be educated in a more sympathetic environment. There is a large heated bubble on the outskirts of campus created for astronomy studies (by far the most popular academic stream at the school) where students can observe the night sky with an unobstructed view. A particular branch of divination correlating to celestial patterns and the movement of stars is studied intensively, and students occupy a large portion of their time speculating various outcomes of the alignment of stars and planets (overheard in the halls: “If Venus and Jupiter had been two degrees closer, I guarantee you I would have found that rogue troll already. The planets have not been helpful lately.”).

cephalos  asked:

4CHORDS

(With reference to this post here.)

Hah! Got it in one.

For those who don’t remember the Dark Times, at the height of its popularity, Homestuck had spawned several fan-created AUs that were, themselves, popular enough that people unconnected to their creators would write fanfic set in them, cosplay as the AU versions of various characters, and so forth.

It got to the point that some of the most well-established AUs had separate mini-fandoms made up of folks who’d never actually read Homestuck proper, and were in it just for that AU. The best-known example of the type is probably Marchingstuck, a high school AU in which the Beta kids and Alternian trolls were all in a marching band. (The Alpha kids and Beforan trolls didn’t feature because the entire AU lived and died prior to their introduction.) Indeed, Marchingstuck was so popular that it went recursive and spawned its own fandom project, a Tumblr-hosted fan-fan-comic called Promstuck that ran for six months in the latter half of 2011 and concluded after over 250 pages.

To the topic at hand, 4chords was a Homestuck AU created by an artist named Emily Hu, revolving around human versions of Tavros and Gamzee attending community college. Though less prolific content-wise than some, it was one of the longer-lived AUs, remaining popular for nearly two years before the original artist lost interest and stopped updating the fan-comic that spawned it.

Medical Questions (Funny)

Hello, everyone!
I found an old document when I was sorting through my old computer, and I thought you might get a kick out of it. When I was in high school, nine years ago, there was a website where people could go to ask medical questions; but predictably it became a popular hangout for trolls. Being the shit-disturber I was, I got in on the action and wrote responses to some of the most ridiculous questions I could find. I couldn’t track down the website so I think it’s since been removed, but I saved all of the questions I answered to my Word program. All of the questions I answered were fully attended to before I got there, by the way, so I highly doubt anyone took my answers seriously. Although I’m not particularly proud of it now, it was just a bit of teenage fun. In the very least, I still think my answers were a bit entertaining, and I hope you feel similarly. Enjoy!


What does it mean when you can hear your own heartbeat?
It means your heart and blood vessels are working overtime and your heart is probably about to explode in your chest. You have one minute to call an ambulance before it’s too late.

Where do babies come from?
The bigger question is, where do they go?

What is that squiggly thing in your eye?
It means you’re infested with tapeworms and they’re laying eggs in your stomach. Most people don’t know how they caught these parasites, but it’s usually from using a public toilet, getting dirt in a cut, sharing drinks or lip balm, touching a public door handle, getting coughed on or near (tapeworms can be airborne, but only for a few minutes), absorbing someone else’s sweat, and sharing clothes. These parasites are microscopic outside of the human body and rarely thrive inside humans, but when they do they’re almost impossible to detect until it’s too late. If you’re seeing them in your eyes it means they’ve travelled up your nervous system and will soon reach your brain. There is no known cure when they reach this stage.

What does it mean when my nose is itchy on the inside?
Nasal cancer.

Why do my eyes hurt when I open them in the ocean?
Because the ocean is 12% sulphuric acid. Every time you take a dip, you’re actually melting your optic nerve a little. Prolonged swims in the ocean can lead to temporary or even permanent blindness.

Why are my little toes smaller than all my other toes?
I’ve never heard of this condition. Please seek medical attention immediately.

Why am I constipated?
I understand this is a sensitive subject, but I’m glad you had the courage to ask. If you’re constipated, it means you drank too much water or ate too much fruit. To reverse the process, gorge yourself on dairy products, such as milk and cheese, and drink plenty of alcohol or caffeine. If you choose caffeine, add lots of sugar. It is also important that you NOT exercise while trying to recover. Following these easy steps will cause a healthy buildup in your intestines and it will eventually push out the blockage.

My four-year-old son got a sliver. What should I do?
There’s nothing you can do, I’m afraid. Except play the waiting game and hope he doesn’t contract tetanus. It could take weeks before he starts showing signs, so keep a close eye on him. And next time keep your son away from wood. Too many parents lose their children to slivers.

I haven’t had my period in over 4 months. I’ve been having lots of sex with my boyfriend, but he’s always pulled out. Still, I can’t help but think he might’ve got me pregnant. Should I be concerned?
I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about.

I cut my hand on my kitchen knife and now it won’t stop bleeding. It’s new and stainless surgical steel so I’m not sure how to proceed. It doesn’t hurt or anything and I don’t think it’s very deep, it just won’t stop bleeding. Can someone help me? I was cutting tomatoes, if that makes a difference.
It’s very important that you do NOT put any pressure on the wound. Let it continue to hemorrhage, as this will ensure that you don’t get an infection. It’s also fortunate that you were cutting tomatoes, as they are known for having medicinal qualities.

I was eating watermelon and one of the seeds popped out and fell on the floor. My 18 month old son picked it up and swallowed it before I could stop him. Is he going to be OK? Should I take him to the hospital to get his stomach pumped?
More than likely the seed will dissolve in his stomach, but there are cases where watermelon seeds have lodged themselves just above the stomach and sprouted, causing a watermelon to form inside the unfortunate victim. Either monitor him daily and make sure he isn’t growing a bump in his lower chest area, or take him to the hospital immediately and explain what happened. I’m sure the doctors will be more than understanding. After all, it’s better to be safe than sorry.

What are eyelashes really for?
Much like armpit hair, eyelashes are just extra hairs that we inherited from our ancestors. We’ve actually evolved so much that we no longer need them. Anthropologists theorise that they were once used to keep tiny debris from entering our eyes when we fished under water. Today they’re simply a societal construct of beauty and wealth. Ads say that the longer and fuller the lashes you have, the better you are; but in truth they’re completely useless.

My friends keep telling me to masturbate with vegetables, like cucumbers and carrots, but I’m not sure if I should do it. Isn’t that kind of dirty? What do you guys think?
It’s a historical fact that vaginas were exclusively used to make salads. They used to stick all manner of vegetables up there and have the woman clench her thighs together repeatedly, until every veggie was perfectly diced. They also did this with bread crusts, which is where croutons come from. In fact, in ancient Rome they were originally referred to as “coochtons”. Caesar was the first to discover this method.

Is it true that dust is made of dead human skin?
Yes, 90% of it. What you’re seeing is the remains of all who lived before you. The other 10% is ectoplasm.

Why do my farts smell so bad?
You’re probably not getting enough broccoli or asparagus in your diet.

My five year old daughter is really shy. I find this really disappointing, since I’m such an outgoing person myself. Is there anything I can do to fix her?
If she’s already five and really that shy, your only option now is to give her back to the hospital. I suspect this will be a good decision for everyone involved, especially your daughter. If she’s lucky, they’ll put her with a mother who isn’t a resoundingly self-absorbed bitch.

Can someone help me? I think I have stigmata.
You do, Antoinette. But don’t worry, Hell’s servants will be coming for you soon. Faciam te ad infernum.

I think I’m allergic to my cat but I don’t want to kick her out of the house. What should I do?
Leave the cat at the house and move out yourself.

The Types as Fuckboys

ISTJ: the fuckboy looking for his manic pixie dream girl

ESTJ: Meninist fuckboy

ISFP: Stoner fuckboy

ISTP: Stoner fuckboy/white guy with dreads

ESFP: Original fuckboy™  /fuckboy with a band

ESTP: Jock fuckboy

INFP: fake deep fuckboy who tries to “save” you

ENTJ: fuckboy who always thinks he’s the smartest guy in the room, constantly talks over you

INTJ: fuckboy who breaks up w/you for being “too emotional”

INFJ: fuckboy who writes pretentious poetry

ISFJ: The “nice guy” fuckboy who gets friendzoned

ENTP: player fuckboy always talking to 100 girls at once/can’t commit

ENFP: charming fuckboy who constantly flirts w/other girls

ENFJ: controlling fuckboy, probably tries to do weird stuff like pick out your outfits for you and tell you how to cut your hair

ESFJ: most popular guy in school prom king fuckboy who will only date the most popular girl in school and is too worried about his image

INTP: fuckboy who trolls women on the internet/is secretly a brony

There’s more to trends than just a headline.

  • In entertainment: TV networks presented their newest shows to advertisers at the upfronts, an annual early bird buffet of commercial time slots. Making its debut on CBS later this year: Supergirl, whose eponymous character works at a magazine with a plot-friendly helipad on the roof. On other superhero shows: The Arrow wrapped its third season with Olicity speeding off into the sunset and nothing will go wrong ever again. 

  • In the news: Amtrak train 188 jumped the tracks outside Philadelphia. Our hearts go out to everyone onboard, their families, and loved ones.

  • On Tumblr: We asked you to Post It Forward for people who need to know they’re not alone. You’re all treasures. 

  • In wishful thinking: There was speculation that High School Musical was trending because they were making High School Musical 4, but alas, y’all just really like High School Musicals 1, 2, and 3.

  • In gaming: Danny Sexbang shaves off his flowing mane on the latest episode of Game Grumps. Not really. 

  • In school: Watch your butts, frosh—the class of 2015 has nothing to lose.

  • In America: Britain is trolling you with cheeky nandos.

  • In food: Pancakes. The comeback story of 2015.

And check out some of the week’s most popular blogs:


Image via utterlymegs

On Rural America: Understanding the Backlash

People sharing “On Rural America: Understanding Isn’t The Problem,” on Facebook and Tumblr, and it being added to sites like Alternet and Rawstory (under a more click baity title,) have turned my obscure blog post into quite the buzz.  The initial interest in it was fueled largely by people who have had shared experiences.  People who either grew up in or moved to rural areas of the country and have seen firsthand what I described in the article.  Reading the comments sections of the websites that posted it, the people with a similar experience to mine, people who have friends and family that still live in rural America, understood exactly what I was saying and the points I was trying to make.  I am grateful I could tap into what a lot of people have been feeling and that what I wrote resonated with so many.

Now the article is getting read not only by people who can relate to it but those who vehemently disagree with it.  Unlike the buzz, the backlash to the article doesn’t surprise me in the slightest.  I knew exactly why and how it would be attacked.  Having grown up around and had many an argument with fundamentalists, I’m pretty familiar with how and why they argue.  Some Facebook groups who posted the article on their page have direct messaged me asking if I would join the discussion about it the comment sections.  Unfundamentalist Christians is one of these groups.  I went to their page and looked at the discussion about the article.  After reading a few dozen comments, it became clear if I did join the fray, I’d be locked into a circle of explanation hell that would make Dante facepalm.  The people missing the points of the article were going to miss them no matter what I said.  The moderator(s) of the page did an outstanding job understanding what I wrote and how to explain it and they were not making a dent in the minds of detractors.  As much as I love the irony of people with closed-off belief systems not understanding they have closed-off belief systems BECAUSE their belief systems are closed-off, willfully getting into a back-and-forth with them is the definition of insanity.

However, I do want to look at some of the most common criticisms I’ve seen online.

-”I can’t take the article seriously because the author wrote it anonymously.”   I have had people on my Forsetti’s Justice Facebook page demand I give my real name.  Whatever my real name is (and all 300+ friends on my personal Facebook page know I write as Forsetti’s Justice,) has absolutely no bearing on the soundness or validity of what I write.  If my real name is Bob Jones or Ahmed Khan or Latoya Jenkins, it shouldn’t affect how someone perceives what I write.  If it does, then the problem is not my anonymity but an underlying prejudice on their part.  Take peer reviewed articles (In no way am I saying what I write is on the caliber of peer reviewed research paper.)  When someone reviews an article to see if it is worth of being published, they do so not knowing the author because they don’t want to be influenced.  They want to judge the paper solely on its merits.  I’d prefer people to evaluate what I write based on the ideas and arguments, not because of who they think I am.  Besides, let’s assume I did tell these people my real name, how on earth would this be of any real value?  How would this somehow validate or repudiate what I wrote?  No one can give me a good answer to this because none exist.  Another reason I write anonymously is because I have zero tolerance or time for trolls.   I’ve already had to deal with a number of them on my Forsetti’s Justice Facebook page, I certainly don’t want to also deal with them on my personal page.  (My favorite so far is the woman in Michigan who was so angry about the article she threatened me and said she had reported me to Facebook even though I never had a single interaction with her.)

-”I don’t believe the author grew up in rural America.  Nobody wears calico skirts… ”  They sure as hell did in the late 70s when I was in high school where the most popular classes were Home Econ, Auto Shop, and Future Farmers of America.  Gunne Sax was a very popular dress maker who specialized in lace, gingham, and calico dresses.  These dresses were especially popular to wear to church on Sundays.  The population of the entire county was roughly 6000.  The most populous city was 1400 and the town in which I lived.  The second most populous city was about 500.  My graduating class was 80. To put this into perspective, the total population of the county I grew up in plus the population of the four neighboring counties was 3/5 the enrollment of university I attended for grad school.  Every man, woman, and child in these five counties wouldn’t fill half the football stadium.

-”I don’t believe the author grew up in real rural America.”  This is a more specialized spin-off of the previous criticism.  What counts as “rural America” is parsed in such a way so as to make it statistically unlikely I grew up there thus allowing them to completely discount what I wrote.  To some, the Deep South is the only thing that counts as “rural America.”  To others, it is the Bible Belt, which was hotly debated on one thread as to what the legitimate boundaries of a vague, arbitrary concept really are.  The people with shared experiences to mine could have been, should have been a good indication to these critics of the existence of rural American towns across the entire country.  Overwhelmingly white, Christian, rural communities can be found in every state.  

-”The author comes across and angry.”  If I was angry, I would have written something along the lines of, “Rural, white, Christian Americans made their bed and they can lie in it.  I don’t give a damn what happens to them.”  I wrote no such thing.  The emotion that should be coming through is not anger but frustration.  I’m frustrated that there is little that can be done by outsiders to change the minds of people who believe things that are not true and vote against their own interests because of it.  I care about these people.  Some of them are my family and friends.  I care about their welfare and their children’s.  I’m not saying, “Screw them!”  I’m saying, “I want to reach these people but here is why it is close to impossible.”  I’m also frustrated with the idea that if only the Democratic Party would reach out more to these areas, it would lead to more rural votes for them.  The problem isn’t the message, the problem is the receivers of the message have been trained for years the messenger is the problem, cannot be trusted, doesn’t care about them, lying… and the nature of their belief systems makes changing this nearly impossible.  

-”I’m a rural, white Christian.  I’m nothing like what was described and neither is anyone I know.”  If this is an honest assessment, then, great.  Just because you are not this way doesn’t mean others are not.  Just because you don’t see the impacts of a closed-off belief system, doesn’t make them not exist.  I know a lot of people who are adamant their grandma is not even somewhat racist even though she uses a lot of racial epithets.  Even if you do not believe in or exhibit negative traits, it is often really hard to admit people you know and care about do.  Unfortunately, people have a tendency to personalize things when things associated with their self-identity are criticized.  This is even more true with people who place these descriptors at the center of their belief systems.  If you tie who you are with being rural or white or Christian, then anything that is critical of any of these is seen as a personal attack whether they are meant to be or not.  

-”The author is blaming rural America for the election of Donald Trump.”  No.  Did they play a role in getting him elected?  Absolutely.  Even though Trump lost the popular vote by 2.2+ million votes (and counting) he won the Electoral College because of winning swing states like PA, MI, and WI by slim margins.  States that have a lot of rural communities.  Rural communities that voted heavily in favor of Trump.  Check out a map of the country broken down by how counties voted in the election and you’ll see how red almost all the sparsely populated counties (rural) are.  People who have suffered economically from wealthy elites who have moved jobs overseas voted for a billionaire who jobs out his products with his name on them overseas, who jobs out the steel he uses in his building.  People who claim that morality is a fundamental principle and needed to lead the country voted for a thrice-married man who cheated on his wives, brags about sexually assaulting women, and lies with impunity.  I think it is fair to ask why these people went against what they claim are fundamental beliefs and principles.  I think it is fair to look at why people vote against their own economic interests.  Just like the accusation of “anger,” “blame” is misguided.  If I was blaming them, I’d have the same responses as if I was angry at them, “Fuck them!” Instead, I’m explaining why they believe/act the way they do by way of their belief systems.

-”The author is generalizing that all of rural America are religious fundamentalists.”  Nope.  I’m stating that religious fundamentalism is more prevalent in rural America for a variety of reasons and some of the consequences of this are…   I’m also not saying other groups from other areas of the country don’t have this problem or other problems.  At no point did I say, “Rural Americans have screwed up belief systems and Americans who live in big cities have no issues or problems.”  If you’ve read my blog for any amount of time, you know my real anger is usually directed at progressives.  Progressives have some serious problems.  They just happen to mostly be different problems.  The Readers Digest Condensed version is-Rural America often votes against their own interests.  Progressive America often doesn’t vote for their own interests.  

-”The author is saying, “Forget about rural America.””  No.  I’m saying there is a problem.  Here is the problem.  I don’t know how to make the problem not a problem because of some of the structural reasons that make it a problem.  Reading anything more than this into it is missing the point.  I know it is a rather long article and attention spans have been reduced to the half-life of Hydrogen-7 but the starting point is the call from various corners for the Democratic Party to “focus more on reaching out to these areas of the country.”  My point is they have been reaching out for decades and been ignored and rebuffed for specific reasons.  Reasons that make reaching out to them now a fool’s errand.  The problem isn’t the lack of outreach.  The problem is a belief system that is built on bad information that is not self-critical and resistant to change.

Of course, I realize most of the people who misunderstood the article in the first place aren’t going to understand the explanation of what they missed and why any better than the original article.  I now look forward to the backlash to the explanation of the backlash.


nanaberrieskpop Reuested: Hi How would exo react in class?

Xiumin:

Xiumin: that kid who’s always bored in class because they know everything. Obviously, he’d be getting straight A’s in pretty much all of his lessons.

 

Luhan:

Luhan: The one kid who is constantly working hard in all his classes to maintain his high grades. I think he’d also be one of those people who put their hand up at lmost every question the teacher asks.

Kris:

Kris: School is not Kris’ style, but he still gets straight A’s. He’d be one of those popular people in class, and around school in general, being the cool city guy he is.

D.O:

D.O: That kid who doesn’t speak unless spoken to, and also gets ok grades. He wouldn’t really raise his hand unless he definitely knew the answer, and would often prefer to work alone on assignments.

Suho:

Suho: That one guy who takes his work really seriously because he wants to get somewhere in life, he’d also be a really good friend, helping others who need help. He’d often talk through things ith teachers to make sure he’s doing everything right.

Lay:

Lay: The kid who often falls asleep or zones out during class. He wouldn’t be popular, but he’d be known around school both for his hilarious sleeping habits and his sexy dancing. 

Baekhyun:

Baekhyun: One of those mischievous kids who often gets in to trouble for doing things he shouldn’t. His grades wouldn’t be amazing, but he probably wouldn’t even care to be honest. 

 

Chen:

Chen: The class troll! Throwing paper planes, sending inappropriate texts at the most inconvenient times and making noises and faces when the teacher wasn’t looking. He’d be friends with most people de to his amazing sense of humor and loud voice that can’t be ignored.

Chanyeol:

Chanyeol: Just like Baekhyun, chanyeol would be mischievous, and also very loud in class, however, he’d be one of those guys that’s also very friendly and gets along with everyone.

Tao:

Tao: Also one of the popular kids, not because he’s loud, but the complete opposite. Although he’s quiet, he’s whiny, and needs attention. He’d often be found doing extra classes to keep his grades up, and have that extra attention from the teachers.

 

Sehun:

Sehun: That kid who couldn’t care less about what’s going on and would rather be elsewhere like getting bubbletea. He probably wouldn’t even care too much about his grades, but still want to do well.

Kai:

Kai: The popular kid in class who everyone likes, including all of his teachers. He’d manage to sweet talk any other students in to doing his homework that he couldn’t be bothered to do himself, but all in all, would work hard to earn his grades and his girls.

The Other Sister Ives

It has been like this all her life, second to best to pure Katherine, perfect sweet little doe eyed Katherine who was dmeure and quiet and completed all her studies got into one of the e at schools on the planet and graduated, perfect Katherine made manager, perfect Katherine doesnt have too many boyfrienda, perfect Katherine so graceful.

Then there was Penelope, awkward, clumsy, loud, Penelope, shes so funny but can she sing? No, she barelt even graduated from college it was a miracleshe made into Chelsea College of Arts, but she dropped out Penelope did, too terrible at art why did she major in it? Because she liked to color..she cant dance…all Penelope Daphne Ives could do was laugh.

And my did she have so many boyfriends, not because she was popular no that is Kitty, Penelope just has lnack for attracting horrible, gross, trolls who treated her awfully, even losing her viriginity was terrible amd humiliating.

Now at 19 standing before her sisters glamorous L.A. apartment, she was a broke, art school drop out, she found the spare key under the mat and opened up only to walk in Katherine having sex…lying beneath of course a gorgeous man the most gorgeous man she has ever laid eyes on (of course Katherone gets him).

Penelope felt as thogh she looked terrible, face streaked in tears and just off a plane, there was perfect little naked Kitty, small and 5'1, Penelope was 5'7.

Katherine caught sight of her sister and gasped with horror but joy at seeing her “PENELOPE!” she shoved the God pff of her and drew blankets up to cover her.

“Im sorry I came at a bad tiem…Ilk go share that box with that hobo” her voice was weak eith tears and she turned aroud to leave only hitting her face against the wall “Ow"her cry of pain weak and apthetic.

@lucienmacrose