I work in a decent sized, local, indie bookstore. It’s a great job 99% of the time and a lot of our customers are pretty neat people. Any who, middle of the day this little old lady comes up. She’s lovably kooky. She effuses how much she loves the store and how she wishes she could spend more time in it but her husband is waiting in the car (OH! I BETTER BUY HIM SOME CHOCOLATE!), she piles a bunch of art supplies on the counter and then stops and tells me how my bangs are beautiful and remind her of the ocean (“Wooooosh” she says, making a wave gesture with her hand)
Ok. I think to myself. Awesomely happy, weird little old ladies are my favorite kind of customer. They’re thrilled about everything and they’re comfortably bananas. I can have a good time with this one. So we chat and it’s nice.
Then this kid, who’s been up my counter a few times to gather his school textbooks, comes up in line behind her (we’re connected to a major university in the city so we have a lot of harried students pass through). She turns around to him and, out of nowhere, demands that he put his textbooks on the counter. He’s confused but she explains that she’s going to buy his textbooks.
He goes sheetrock white. He refuses and adamantly insists that she can’t do that. It’s like, $400 worth of textbooks. She, this tiny old woman, bodily takes them out of her hands, throws them on the counter and turns to me with a intense stare and tells me to put them on her bill. The kid at this point is practically in tears. He’s confused and shocked and grateful. Then she turns to him and says “you need chocolate.” She starts grabbing handfuls of chocolates and putting them in her pile.
He keeps asking her “why are you doing this?” She responds “Do you like Harry Potter?" and throws a copy of the new Cursed Child on the pile too.
Finally she’s done and I ring her up for a crazy amount of money. She pays and asks me to please give the kid a few bags for his stuff. While I’m bagging up her merchandise the kid hugs her. We’re both telling her how amazing she is and what an awesome thing she’s done. She turns to both of us and says probably one of the most profound, unscripted things I’ve ever had someone say:
"It’s important to be kind. You can’t know all the times that you’ve hurt people in tiny, significant ways. It’s easy to be cruel without meaning to be. There’s nothing you can do about that. But you can choose to be kind. Be kind.”
The kid thanks her again and leaves. I tell her again how awesome she is. She’s staring out the door after him and says to me: “My son is a homeless meth addict. I don’t know what I did. I see that boy and I see the man my son could have been if someone had chosen to be kind to him at just the right time.”
I’ve bagged up all her stuff and at this point am super awkward and feel like I should say something but I don’t know what. Then she turns to me and says: I wish I could have bangs like that but my darn hair is just too curly.“ And leaves.
And that is the story of the best customer I’ve ever had. Be kind to somebody today.
In 1 month you would be turning 17, and i wonder everyday what would that be like, if you would be borrowing my clothes and make up, or if you would still play with dolls as you did when you left me here.
Would you still be funny and sweet as you were?, Never calling me “fat” or things that you know would hurt me.
I miss you, so much its unbereable, like a hole in the middle of my chest. You were my sister, my only sister and I dont have you by my side anymore. And its really unfair. I would give up my life if that would bring you back.
I’m so afraid noone will remember you but me. Thats one of my greatest fears. If people forget how lovely you were and how strong and brave and how willing to go through hell just to live.
I want all people to know about you.
Lucy (Lucia Florencia), was born in February 4th in 1998, when i was six years old, and she was my best friend ever.
She was really funny and loved to play dress up. She usually used Sailor Moon’s suit and put make up on and it was just hillarious.
She really liked when i took pictures of her, she was like my model, i really liked taking pictures of her. She is the cutest thing the world has ever had.
Her hair was long and waivy and dark brown, and her eyes where so bright and charming and obscure at the same time, really misterious.
She played the piano, the violin and had a really good ear and could play lots of songs only by ear, without even know how to read partitures.
She was bright as hell, but really talkative, and sometimes naughty. Once she came back from school (9 years old), and told my dad, “I have one bad new and one good”, my dad said “Tell me the bad first”, “the teacher put me a bad face on my notebook because i punched Anna on the face, she was being really rude”, and my dad said, “and whats the good one” “That Anna is okey, that we are fine, and it was nothing at all, just that”. He could not stop laughing after that.
She was my rock, and I was hers. We loved each other even more other sibbligs do. She was the true face of love.
Her favourite stuffed animal was the racoon you can see in the bed besides her. She was burried with him, his name was “Mapachin”, and he was her fav since she was like 3 years old, when she cut really deep her finger and had to have stitches and mum bought that to her for being so brave.
She got sick in 2008, she was 10, her back started hurting really bad, and after xrays and exams, mum came back crying like I had never seen her, and my world felt appart.
I had to go and tell Lucy she had to go to another city to get her back cured. and she asked me if she would have to take some medicine, and it broke my heart.
She had cancer, a new kind of cancer, in one tumor it had different fenotipes and there was no treatment that cured the whole tumor, so they removed it. It didnt work.
She thought she was cured, my parents never could tell her the truth after that, we were all a reck, really messed up people, we still are. We will always be. Life really took love away from us in such a hurtfull and horrible way its almost impossible to describe.
Whatever doctors said that she might have or experience, happened. Every single bad thing. She had to lie on a bed for 4 months without moving, cause her brain tumor wouldnt let her. Her lungs tumors filled her lungs with water, so she couldnt breath anymore.
After some months of unbeareable sadness and hoping for miracles and praying to every god ever existed. Doctors had to put her in medical coma, because she wouldnt get better. Ever.
And that was it. on June 8th on 2010, my sister died of cancer, in a hospital bed. Her last thing she “said” (she couldnt talk anymore, so she said I LOVE U blinking her eyes really hard), was I love you, to my mum, dad and me.
And I lost everything.
The day after that, was when i saw death itself. My sister, insanely pale and blue-ish in a coffin, and i had months and months of nightmares.
I miss her smell, i miss her voice, and i miss not remembering everything that happened before the illness, because i wasnt really thinking something as destroying as that would happen.
Im just writing my heart here, you cant see my fingers trembling, or the tears running down my face, but i know you can feel them, because i need to tell you all this.
Please think of her, even though you didnt know her. She was my baby sister, and my mate, and my love. And i dont have her anymore and I dont want her to be lost in time and noone knowing who she is.
She couldve been a remarkable piano player, or an actress, or a veterinary,for her love towards animals. But she hadnt the chance to do that.
She didnt have her first kiss
or her first period
or travel to disney world
or be trully in love with someone
and most of the things we enjoy as teens and young adults. She couldnt have them, so please, think of her when u do. Say her name before going to sleep, tell your kids about this amazing girl who lived in Mar del Plata, Argentina and told the kindergarten teacher she wanted to be a Ship captain just like her dad. And how she was not ashamed at all when she asked santa for a HotWeels Car wash instead of a barbie.
Stephen Wrabel has made a strong and beautiful anthem about transgender lives
“This song is the most important thing to me that I have ever done and probably will ever do. It’s the closest thing to my heart,” Wrabel tells Billboard. (Photo above)
“I came out as gay around 23 into a church in Los Angeles that told me I could and should change; that I was unnatural and wrong. I hope this reaches anyone in need of it and makes them feel like they’re not alone.”
The main role is played by trans actor August Aiden.
I love this song!
Here are the lyrics:
No, your mom don’t get it And your dad don’t get it Uncle John don’t get it And you can’t tell grandma ‘cause her heart can’t take it And she might not make it They say, “don’t dare, don’t you even go there. Cutting off your long hair. You do as you’re told.” Tell you, “wake up, go put on your makeup. This is just a phase you’re gonna outgrow.”
There’s something wrong in the village In the village, oh They stare in the village In the village, oh There’s nothing wrong with you It’s true, it’s true There’s something wrong with the village With the village There’s something wrong with the village
Feel the rumors follow you from Monday all the way to Friday dinner You got one day of shelter, then it’s Sunday hell to pay, you young lost sinner Well I’ve been there, sitting in that same chair Whispering that same prayer half a million times It’s a lie though Buried in disciples One page of the Bible isn’t worth a life
listen here. LISTEN. hERE. it’s just so good. (for anyone who wants to watch it back it starts at like :33 of the first undertale video.) okay first of all. the second phil first says viscosity dan immediately breaks off and turns to him with the crinkliest eyes and a lil wrinkled nose and it’s already aggressively cute and we are like a quarter of a second into this exchange. incredible. beautiful. to me it was such a significant thing that he doesn’t mock phil’s word choice to US in the way that he used to on dapg ALL THE FUCKING TIME, but instead he turns to PHIL and rather than mocking him he just does that cute confused face and kind of asks phil to clarify why doing a let’s play would involve viscosity at all.
CUTE!!!! and then there’s A JUMP CUT!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!! WHY? it HAUNTS ME TO THIS DAY! when we cut back, dan has completely dropped his on-camera voice and his body is pointed a little more inwards at phil. amazing. what happened in the lil bit that was cut out of this? we can ONLY GUESS. so then dan proceeds to ask in his much deeper/softer off-camera voice, “how can a let’s play have viscosity?” and honestly i am just left asking “how can such a dumb fucking question sound so soft and enticing wtf.” and then phil tries to explain it in his silly way, he’s saying it’s “deep and sticky” and dan just gives a TEENY TINY SMILE and then turns to share it with us and THIS IS HOW HE IS REACTING TO PHILS WEIRD BRAIN NOW it’s no longer MOCKING it’s SOFT AND FOND and he’s smiling at us to sort of tacitly communicate how adorable he finds phil’s mind and i want dEATH and then, as if this weren’t enough, his voice drops even further and gets all hoarse as he asks phil, “do you know what viscosity is?” and just turns that same fond smile towards him
and honestly if at this point you haven’t gone back to the video to watch this you really need to just for this part because holy shite man,,, that voice dan uses is Something and phil himself looks a lil shook and he gets all flustered and giggles
and dan giggles while watching phil giggle and then phil says “let’s keep going!!!!!!” rly promptly and phil’s whole reaction was so unwarranted based on the actual words they are saying which makes me feel like phil is just reacting to dan’s flirty voice and basically wow this whole scene is everything to me ok you need to rewatch and appreciate it fully i still wake up in cold sweats thinkin about it
remember when taylor said she didn’t feel particularly sexy and the interviewer asked “so what are you then?” (as if being sexy is the only thing a woman is good for) and taylor immediately responded with “i’m imaginative, i’m smart and i’m hardworking" because i think about that interview a lot and i still think it’s one of the most important things she’s ever said
After what happened yesterday, I’ve decided to teach you the single most important thing you will ever learn about dealing with autistic people, especially under stress:
A meltdown is a defensive response, not an aggression.
Meltdowns happen because we are in pain - either the direct sensory pain of too much light or too loud noise or terrible textures or what have you, or the emotional pain of just being overwhelmed by so much input we can’t handle it, of being told were horrible burdens who can’t love, etc.
Meltdowns are born of pain.
In particular, they’re what happens when we can’t escape that pain. Y’all know about the fight-or-flight response? Well… that’s what a meltdown is. And all of those stories of autistic people destroying things or hurting themselves or lashing out at people? That’s what happens when “flight” is no longer an option. That only leaves “fight.”
We’re trying to defend ourselves from things that are hurting us, and you won’t let us. You stand between us and an escape from pain. That’s what makes us lash out, as surely as if you cornered an animal and poked it with a stick.
So how do you prevent this from happening? Simple. Find out what’s causing us pain, and give us an escape from it. Too much noise? Give us earplugs or a quiet place. Too-bright lights? Maybe we need sunglasses or a darkroom. Draining social expectations? Let us be alone for a bit.
Just let us escape the pain. That’s all we need.
(The implication of this, of course, is that people who think autistic people are inclined to violence? Are people who hurt us and keep us in pain. They’re abusers. This is something that has held up literally every time I’ve heard someone talk about how terrible and violent we are, and then describe their interactions with us. Every. Single. Time.)
slides off the tongue, everyday i love you. over rushed early breakfast. said with a mouth half full of coffee. placed onto your cheek followed by a kiss.
astounding, ‘i still can’t believe it’ i love you. the only thing you can think to say when she walks down the stairs wearing a new dress. whispering to yourself every night before bed when she’s brushing her teeth and smiling at you through the mirror.
sleepy, foggy, i don’t know what loves feels like but i think this is it i love you. whispered at early hours of the morning, the room is still dark and swallows up the words before she hears them. when it’s 1am and you blurt it out but she’s already asleep in the passenger seat, and a little part of you wishes you said it earlier but another part of you is relieved.
strangers know, and our neighbors are jealous i love you. shouted from the top of a mountain, I LOVE YOU being swayed from tree to tree. saying it over and over and over. the most important thing that will ever leave your mouth.