the most damaged people

Abusers can’t change for one big obvious reason: they would have to experience guilt in order to change. they would have to actually go through the pain of acknowledging that they’ve caused mountains of suffering and pain to others, that they’ve been selfish, lying, manipulative, cruel, despicable, sadistic, monstrous and horrible human being, that they’ve destroyed the ones who loved them the most, they’ve exploited and damaged the most vulnerable and defenseless people in their life, they’ve taken choice and well being from fellow human beings who did nothing to deserve it, and then on top of it they convinced those humans they did deserve it, and invalidated them on top of that so they would carry the pain of guilt as well.

Abusers will do literally anything to avoid carrying this heavy burden of guilt and shame, they don’t see anything they could gain from admitting fault and taking responsibility for their actions, they prefer having the victims carry that burden for them, because abusers are weak, they couldn’t even carry a burden they themselves created.

If abuser can’t even admit to him/herself they’ve done something wrong, if they refuse to experience guilt and insist they’ve been right and only pretend-apologize when it’s necessary to regain control of the victims, they have no way of changing. If they don’t truly feel remorse they will repeat the actions. Why wouldn’t they? They benefit from it! Changing, for them would mean giving up everything they’ve gained in their entire life, admitting it wasn’t theirs to gain in the first place, feeling the worst shame, guilt and remorse they could imagine, giving up any future benefits and having to change their life completely in hope of making up at least slightly for what they did,  even as they have no way of making up for it all. They would have to submit themselves to a life of pain, regret, self hatred, guilt and shame, all of which they caused by themselves. What abuser would ever submit to this? And for what reasons. To gain humanity? They already believe themselves to be above humans. To keep in good relations with their loved ones? They already proved they could completely destroy their loved ones without giving a shit and gain a lot in return, there never was any real relations with their “loved ones” they never even truly got to know those people, only the ways to control and harm them. 

An abuser will never ever allow him/herself to experience guilt and responsibility for their actions, they may act it out for a bit in order to get what they want but you can count on them to go back to their old ways because they don’t change. An abuser would only change thru the extreme pain of remorse and they will refuse to go thru with it, because all their lives they’ve been running away from pain, and they see no gain in experiencing any of it. And they are weak, they can’t even handle pain, unlike their victims, the burden would most likely crush them to death. They’re a person living off of sucking the life out of others, incapable of humanity, incapable of change, incapable of love, incapable of anything but demanding more and more and never having enough, and this is not something that can change or be reversed anymore. There’s nothing valuable in them anymore, they’re just an empty shell filled with knives, who paint themselves with kindness to lure as many people as possible to cut themselves.

Well lads, it’s been a while since I last wrote a Random Venezuelan Rant™, so lets correct that, shall we?

Today’s topic


Alright, a bit of a background, the city of Maracaibo, my home, has had, at least for the last 30 years or so, a massive water distribution problem, which is blamed more or less on an old, outdated and badly maintained water distribution infrastructure, limited capacity for water treatment, and unreliable sources of water, so by my estimates, at least half of the city doesn’t have access to constant running water, instead relying on water tankers to fill up rooftop and underground tanks.

Now, I say constant, because at random intervals, from days to weeks, water does arrive, and most people use those precious few hours of running water to fill their tanks, as said water tankers can be very expensive, specially during the drought season. 

My neighborhood is not exception to this, in fact, it’s infamous for how long water takes to get here, the longest time being 4 months, so my house came equipped with an underground tank with a capacity of some 15,000 liters or 4,000 US gallons, alongside a water pump and “lung” to keep the pressure steady within the house.

Our water tank and auxiliary water “pipe”, which is basically a second connection to the main pipe we made ourselves in desperation during the 4-moth drought, it looks like shit I know, but hey, it works! 

Our water pump and pressure system, please ignore the leaky valve.

And the thing is, the infrastructure is so damaged, we know water is arriving because the streets get flooded, as many pipes are broken and no one ever bothers to fix them, but to be fair most damage comes from the people themselves, doing what we did just to get a bit more water from the mains.

The funny thing is, water has been arriving with increasing regularity lately, which should be a great thing! But since this is Venezuela, the weirdness doesn’t never stops, as those leaky pipes have been keeping varios streets constantly flooded, leading to deteriorated asphalt, many houses with water damaged, and extreme proliferation of flies and mosquitoes, which has always been a problem as bug spray has been very scarce for the last 4 years, so rather that being a blessing, it’s becoming a nuisance, quite the ironic predicament. 

There’s a big-ass pothole hidden under the water in the last pic, I blew a tire on it three weeks ago. 

Now, as you may have noticed, this all looks unsanitary as fuck, and well, it’s because it is! All this water is used for household cleaning, personal hygiene and cooking, but drinking it raw is a big no-no, forcing people to rely on watercoolers/bottled water for that, many also using that water for cooking as well, as even boiling it is not recommended.

We cook with ours because fuck it, we’re used to it (and the diarrhea went away after the first month anyway).

It also used to give us, specially mom and me, skin rashes, but those went away with time as well, although I’ve heard that many prefer to bath their babies and toddlers with bottled water, as skin infections are very common among them because of it.  

So yeah, water is a big problem here, it has been for the longest time, and will be for God knows how long, but people get used to it, hell, I did, although every time I go back to Colombia, the first thing I do is drink water directly from the faucet, a commodity I sometimes miss, specially every time I have to drag around one of those big-ass water bottles to the kitchen. 

As far as I’m aware, this problem has become widespread in recent years, as overall there has been a massive deterioration of the Venezuelan infrastructure, but Maracaibo still is the worst example of this, the ridiculousness of this whole situation greatly increasing as for once, water is finally flowing.

This country is fucking ridiculous at times, but hey, it’s home! 

jikook @ isac last year: hey everyone *blushes* we’re gay


The truth is the world is wrong,
And society is turned upside down. And what you’ve been taught as a child is not always true.
Because human hearts hold more scars and damage than the skin ever could,
And brains and souls bury secrets unimaginable to any one else.
Because hospitals hold more Prayers than a church,
And more “I love you"s than any other place.
Because the darkest places can hold the most light,
And the ugliest and cruelest places can be the most beautiful.
Because the most damaged people can shine brighter than the happiest.
Because the world is not how you think it is, it’s not all smiles and its not the stereotypes we put on it,
It’s dark,
it’s powerful,
and it’s real.
—  A.P

“The loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest. The most damaged people are the wisest. All because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer the way they do.”

anonymous asked:

I work at a nursing home and I feel so bad for the residents there. 80% of the staff don't care about their jobs and neglect the residents, which is elder abuse. One nurse bitched about having to walk across the facility (which is not that big) to take a resident back to her room. YOU left her there in the first place! Poor Dorothy (who is blind btw) was sitting in her wheelchair in the hallway for 10 minutes before a fucking JANITOR saw her and began to push her to her room.

Yeah I feel the same way about the residents and staff I work with. Yeah, there are some problem residents that it’s hard to feel sorry for, but there are some that are really sweet that get yelled at by my coworkers for minor shit. And often they’ll let one of the problem residents just have his way because he’s annoying and no one likes dealing with him(me included, but I don’t give him his way because it has become a vicious cycle). But 90% of the residents are pretty cool if you give them a chance. There are only the two residents I have to be firm with and, admittedly, have no patience for. I haven’t worked with most of the others yet but will be training in another house soon.

The other day one of my favorite residents who is old and has a learning disability was in the kitchen helping me with the dishes when my boss came in to drop off some medical gloves. She saw that his pants were falling down again(honestly only a couple of inches, so no big deal). Instead of asking him to pull them up she screamed at him to go put his belt on. This resident everyone claims is hard to win over but he loves me to death and it’s because I don’t yell at him over stupid shit and don’t treat him like a prisoner. I just ask him, politely, to pull up his pants and he does it.

Some of the residents that I adore I hear my coworkers bitching about all the time. Like this one guy has brain damage and is really old. Like most old people he loves to tell stories. But with his brain damage he has short term memory loss so you’ll often have to hear the same story over and over for a good hour before he realizes he needs to move on. He also tends to tell the same stories over and over regardless of the time between each conversation. Each shift I hear about his farming days, how he overcame alcoholism, his three legged dog, and so on. I don’t mind his stories. I think he’s adorable and if he was my family I wouldn’t have put him in one of these homes. He’d be home with me.

My company has a policy that we’re not allowed to be friends with our coworkers or the residents. I think some of my coworkers are taking that too literally. It’s not like I’m taking them out for drinks, I’m just showing a bit of humanity. A lot of them light up when they know I’ll be working at their house that night or look sad when I’m not. -Abby

We need to change, together we can.

I’ve noticed something in the YouTube community; I’ve noticed this within fans and youtubers themselves. I find it odd that no one makes a stand to speak on this issue so I’m taking initiative.
No matter who you watch; no matter who you are; youtube can serve as a comfort for you. It can be for any reason, but you turn to YouTube for something. Whether it be entertainment, comfort, acceptance, reliability, understanding, a friendly face, or a home.
There are so many people that suffer in this community and it’s not just from outside forces like most people think, and that’s what I am calling attention to.
Recently my very close friend Leeah (Septicide on Instagram) deactivated her account due to the continuous struggle with people saying things to her that they felt she couldn’t see because of her following. Now her account has over 50 thousand followers; yet despite what those certain people think, she can see what they say. She’s not alone; we can all see. Whether you have 100 or 10,000 followers, you can see the hate and disgust or jealousy from those who are supposedly from the same place as you.
They are from the same community.
How is it that we are failing to see this as a whole?
No matter what you watch on YouTube; no matter who you prefer, we are a community. In the tighter knit communities for a specific youtuber we are even more of a family. So why do I see people in the same family shitting on each other?
And why isn’t it spoken about?
Why are people avoiding the topic deliberately?
YouTube is a home for many, and the fan accounts that bloom from it are just sources for those in the home of YouTube to communicate with one another.
We should not be tearing each other down, especially when we feel that the world does a good enough job of that.
Most people in these fandoms are young, and impressionable, or damaged already, or suicidal, lost, confused or lonely; they come here for comfort; They come here for a friendly face, yet I see people turning them away.
Why? Because they got noticed on twitter? Because they have more followers? Because they’re good at editing? Why? There is no reason to treat another human being like they are trash, or like they mean nothing at all. We need to have respect and love for one another; We need to be there for each other and care for those around us. You never know what a person is going through, and what’s going on in their mind; It’s even harder to tell when you force them away because of trivial things like jealousy or spite.

This is our chance to fight the stigma that fandoms are just groups of insane children that know nothing. We need to stand up for what is right; we need to come together for those who are hurt within communities that are supposed to be an accepting, friendly home. We need to change, and every person counts.

Are you up for the challenge?

@therealjacksepticeye @markiplier @pixlpit @wiishu @crankgameplays @septiccommunity @danisnotonfire @amazingphil @danandphilcommunity

Cancer - Unraveling the Cosmic Cradle 

The sign of Cancer is emotionally responsive, withdrawing, and self preserving. The individual’s hyper vigilant defenses mean it can be exceedingly hard to crack the Cancer shell and gain access to the inner wonderland. The individual is acutely concerned with security and protecting himself and loved ones from harm. Those he is not familiar with are seen as threatening and shadowy. The world can become too scary and unsafe to the Cancerian, and he can retreat away into the safety of solitude for long periods of time. Although he gives the impression of being open and welcoming, the individual fiercely guards his privacy, heartstrings, and secrets. Swinging from the craters of the moon, a million miles away from people and the prospect of danger is the Cancer’s favorite hiding spot.

To ride the internal dreamboat that awaits within the Cancerian is no easy task. Open wounds are haunting, and the pain of past hurts engraves in his fibres. The individual must sense an island of safety and peace from people before he feels comfortable opening up. It is important for prospective partners and friends to commit themselves long term and resist threats of abandonment and humiliation. The individual routinely psychologically examines his company, and follows his defensive gut instinct on the calibre of surrounding people. He fears he will be toyed with, abused, embarrassed, and heartbroken. His need for security and stability is so pronounced that he will eschew connecting with people that will overturn his sense of balance. Like a developing baby, there is the fear of stranger danger and unfamiliar faces. He builds homes inside people, and doesn’t need these to be torched and trashed. His trust is locked away, and he rarely gives anyone the key. The residual needs from childhood stay present late into life, and the anxiety of being neglected and forgotten long remains.

Insecurities insulate his course shell, and the Cancer person knows attachment can lead to pain. Because he holds onto every emotion, euphoria, hurt, feeling, and sentiment with claw marks, his inner threads are ripped apart when somebody leaves, uproots his life, or betrays his trust. The deep horror of being exposed and damaged is traumatic and reinforces his belief that most people  are capable of tremendous harm. He can release his guard when he meets those who share his receptive empathy, respect his need for alone time, and understand his confusing dynamics. The Cancer person is known to be furiously protective of his loved ones and children, and he is equally defensive when it comes to shielding his own inner child.


picture by Manuel Rodriguez Sanchez

Kaiju Attacks Support Group

“Hello, I’m Tal, and welcome to Bringspring’s first ever Kaiju victims support group meeting.” a middle-aged balding man introduced himself.

He was sitting on a lawnchair in the middle of a suburban basement. The place was lit well enough, and relatively furnished, with a nice carpet, some paintings and a TV, but the atmosphere was still dreary.

“10 years ago, Kajuro, the radioactive mega-turtle, attacked my city and destroyed the apartment building I lived in.” Tal shared. “It was only by a miracle that I survived under the rubble. After living 2 years in various refugee camps, the government provided me with this home in Bringspring, where I met my wife, Eliza.” he gestured to the woman who was just done arranging snacks on a nearby table.

In front of him, sitting in similarly cheap chairs, were two more individuals, a man and woman.

“Now, why don’t we all introduce ourselves and our experiences?” he looked at the woman sitting left to him.

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I really want to talk about the conclusion of the Lost Children arc, and Jill’s importance as a character.

One thing I see a lot of Berserk fans wish for is that the series could go back to the darker tones of arcs like Lost Children, the latter half of the Golden Age, and of course, the Black Swordsman arc. But the lighter mood is something that’s actually been developing since the manga’s beginning - it’s been gradual but it’s been consistent, and all the different characters Guts has encountered on his travels have been meeting better and kinder fates. Colette died horribly and had her corpse desecrated, then Vargas died cleanly and with hope of being avenged, then Theresia survived and carried physical and psychological scars as the price…and now Jill lives too; not undamaged, but she makes it out clean and strong and hopeful. And even though the Lost Children arc contains piles of dead children and shows Guts at one of his lowest points morally, this is the moment where the light breaks through at last.

And Jill is the character who brings this light into the story, and an incredible amount of hope too.

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the loneliest people are the kindest. the saddest people smile the brightest. the most damaged people are the wisest. all because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer the way they do.
—  Unknown

The loneliest people
                                                                                 are the kindest.

The saddest people
                                                                                 smile the brightest.

The most damaged people

                                                                                 are the wisest.

–All because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer the way they do.

Lucifer x Reader: The Kindest, The Brightest, and The Wisest

Originally posted by schrodingerwasadicktocats

Background: Lucifer has been bonded with Sam, not in soul, grace, or blood, but rather with a sigil that acts more like a pair of handcuffs. With the bond, there are rules that render Lucifer from using his grace, and from flying away.

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