the most beautiful person in the universe

a few days ago my sister asked me what’s the most beautiful thing i’ve ever seen in real life (not like in a film or artwork or photograph or anything) and i told her it’s the inside of the planetarium we went to where we saw the entire galaxy and “explored” the universe, and she told me hers is when she was swimming and she saw the bubbles pass through the light deep under the pool and i just really think that explains a lot about who we are personally

bloodbaguettesblood  asked:

I honestly love halo and that universe and I love learning about john and all the characterization that goes into a character that most people think is a blank slate to project onto, and I love the way you do it and I just occasionally get really emotional about John and ❤

i love john so much i cry when i see him, true story

so i feel ya pal 

hes 

such

a pure

and beautiful

person????? in literally every iteration? 

like even little baby john 

thicc boy john 

even pre-alpha john

i just

love

also

that butt

and that M A G N U M B E N G I S

I hope you’ll meet someone who will love you endlessly.” he said. Telling her everything he’s thinking for a very long time. “Someone who will wipe away all the sadness in your eyes and kiss the smiles inside your heart. I hope you’ll meet someone who will still look at you with admiration in their eyes even if they had already seen your scars.” he wanted her to know how much she deserves to feel love, more than she had before. He wanted to give her the happiness she deserves. That he’s willing to accept it even if it’s not going to be with him. He looked at her as if he’s staring at the most stunning person in the universe. As if he wanted to see this beautiful scenery forever. Then, he finally said, “I hope you’ll end up with someone who will gladly want to live in the same world with you, no matter how crazy it may seem for you.
—  ma.c.a // I hope it’s you and me
subject-themed asks!!

mathematics: a problem in your life you need to solve
physics: something someone has said or done that moved you
biology: the last thing that made you feel alive
zoology: the animal you’d be if you weren’t human
chemistry: have you ever been in love?
astronomy: the biggest dream/aspiration you have
computer science: who you want to be in ten years time
psychology: your biggest flaw and how it makes you better
sociology: what you would change about society if you could
geology: the person who keeps you most grounded
theology: what do you think happens when we die?
geography: a place that’s special to you and why
anthropology: the people you love least and most and why
history: the biggest mistake you’ve ever made
drama: the last lie you told and why
criminology: the number one person you’d die for
literature: a book that changed you forever
english: your favourite word and why
linguistics: an expression you say a lot
creative writing: tell us a short story about a dog and a peach
art: describe yourself using only colour and nature terms
photography: what would your life look like as a single photo?
dance: the most memorable day of your life
woodwork: the life you would want to build for your child
foreign languages: if you were a country, which would you be and why?
classics: the elderly person you’re closest to and what they’ve taught you
music: the most beautiful lyric you can think of
economics: the most valuable material object you own
health: how is your mental health right now? physical? emotional?
physical education: would you rather work in a team or independently?
food technology: something that makes you warm inside

[ as a follow-up to this post. ]

I’m bitter AND sticky so let’s get gooey on topic!

People just? forgot that ton of season 3 episode’s visuals are  actually amazing? I mean it could be just me but this season clearly trowed a ton of budget into some scenes an episodes! 

Super Watermelon Island got an amazing fluid fight scene between two giant women and it was as energetic as it sounds 

Gem drill, even tho it was pretty chilly on animation, had ton of detail on Steven’s faces, I find it like such a sweet detail having in mind the episode was focusing a ton on Steven and his connection with the cluster 

(this is my personal favorite)

Hit the diamond had a TON of characters on-screen at the same time, having in mind 5 of them where new characters and they had to design new clothing for 5 of them 

Even though my favorite part of this episode is the bond between Amethyst and Peridot, I think Too Short To Ride was pretty consistent, I am in love every time they put little lines under the eyes of the characters because it usually helps to remark the emotion they are feeling, is personal. 

Stevonnie’s back for Beach City Drift and the thing I like the most about this episode is the backgrounds and the color choices, they are AMAZING and pretty relaxing to watch on their own. 

Monster reunion was pretty harsh to see for me because painful scenes (aka scenes where the character is clearly in pain) make me feel incredibly bad, but I again shot out how they draw emotions and the subtle lines that make it all even better. 

More than for animation itself, I praise a lot Alone At Sea because of writing and atmosphere, and the last one really works, I felt incredibly… tense, when Jasper showed up, how she acted and the way she expressed herself, and how the colors got dark and the rain around it… just gosh

Even tho it was a pretty okay-o episode in general, I really liked Gem Hunt’s backgrounds, the whites and cold tones made a good mix with Jasper’s colors and really helped her to pop out! 

I’ve talked a lot about Bismuth, so at this point everything would feel redundant, so I’ll just say that the first and last scenes have pretty good colors, one being calm pastel tones and the other reddish dark tones #BRINGHERBACK2K17

And finally, Bubbled, which has some on the most beautiful space backgrounds i’ve seen in an animation product, is the feeling of emptiness that makes the most of the episode personally, how is literally just Steven and Eyeball and Eyeball pretty much tries to kill him, in other situations you can think about something going on, but is the fact that they are in space what makes it feel… well… empty, giving more focus to the characters that contrast the most in a sea of dark cold tones and blacks! 

8

happy birthday, billie holiday // april 7, 1915 - july 17, 1959 // “there’s no damn business like show business - you have to smile to keep from throwing up”

“Behind me, Billie was on her last song. I picked up the refrain, humming a few bars. Her voice sounded different to me now. Beneath the layers of hurt, beneath the ragged laughter, I heard a willingness to endure. Endure- and make music that wasn’t there before.“ President Barack Obama

“Once, when [I was] playing at the Apollo, [Billie] was working a block away at the Harlem Opera House. Some of us went over between shows to catch her, and afterward, we went backstage. I did something then, and I still don’t know if it was the right thing to do - I asked her for her autograph.”  Ella Fitzgerald 

“With few exceptions, every major pop singer in the US during her generation has been touched in some way by her genius. It is Billie Holiday who was, and still remains, the greatest single musical influence on me. Lady Day is unquestionably the most important influence on American popular singing." Frank Sinatra

"If I hear a record once, I usually never listen to it again. I rarely listen to music - unless it’s Billie Holiday." Barbra Streisand

“She could express more emotion in one chorus than most actresses can in three acts.” Jeanne Moreau

"I have the ability to sing with emotion and feeling, but if you say I sound like Billie Holiday, that’s cool. Let’s look at who Billie was: she was this person, this singer, this beautiful diva who could move the audience with the slightest gesture of her hand." Erykah Badu

"Billie Holiday….she is so subtle, she can milk you with two notes. She can go no farther than from a to b, and she can make you feel like she told you the whole universe." Janis Joplin

"My great hero is Billie Holiday." Tim Curry

some more thoughts on the sensates, season 2:

  • will: this boy has TOO MUCH heart he cares about everyone so much i cannot believe a str8 white male character can give me so little grief everyone take notes. cheekbone game is also still strong, but with too much time covered in stubble imo
  • sun: SUN FUCKIN BAK i cannot believe how far my soft baby bird kickass diamond of a character has come she’s so GOOD, but she can also break your neck i love her so much. in more important news however she got reunited with her dog. heckin yes 11/10.
  • lito: continues being the absolute Most™ and we all love him for it. ”i’m practicing””for what?””for my future as a homeless, unemployable failure”. i mean what a fuckin Leo- also relatable as all hell. my beautiful proud gay son. what a gem.
  • riley: sweetest bean in the entire universe, most unrealistic part of s2 is that no one would trust her. she loves a dopey police officer from chicago so much and most importantly she really likes boning him. also shout out for her immense knowledge of graffitied hovels, v impressive.
  • capheus: my newest kid hit it out of the park. he doesn’t have a clue how he got here but he’s still the best person i know and if he doesn’t end up as the president of the world by the end of the series then what are we even doing here?????? also hell yeah my boy got some proud of u bud.
  • nomi: what the hell is this radiant angel and how is she making money. i can’t believe she’s responsible for all of the sensates not being in prison, mvp of the whole fucking show. she’s basically r2d2 if it was a hot, genius woman who fuckin OWNS it. 10/10 five stars would watch again.
  • wolfgang: “he doesn’t really talk” except when he does he BREAKS MY HEART. still the most problematic of all my children but i don’t care i just want him and kala to be happy god fuckin damnit. also i can appreciate the commitment to both his Look and his woman. good one dude.
  • kala: the rambliest and also the smartest, god bless her. honey thinks too much about good and bad when it’s so obvious that she’s a Hoe for the bad boys- specifically German bad boys with unresolved anger issues. also shot a gun and it was pretty fuckin hot tbh.

other thoughts on other characters:

  • whispers: hey man FUCK YOU and also FUCK OFF
  • jonas: what is the point of u doesn’t naveen andrews have better things to do honestly.
  • daniela & hernando: sometimes a family is two gay dudes and their drama queen best friend and that is beautiful..
  • amanita: QUEEN of supportive spouses also she loves nomi so much, can relate.
  • diego: i found myself whispering “no diego no” to myself and it made me laugh so there u go.

reasons why futurama is so great and is so important to so many of us

  • philip j fry is our protagonist. he is mentally ill and pansexual (both of which are canon). we watch him develop from an irresponsible “loser” who has nothing to a semi-responsible man with an entire family in the form of the planet express crew. he isn’t a typical science fiction male hero - he always has to be saved, he messes everything up, he hardly does his job, but his saving grace is the fact that he is kind. and fry’s kindness is what endears everyone on the show to him. he is the most important person in the universe even though his mind constantly tells him that he’s a nothing who has no one. (this message has helped me through so many difficult times). also, the beauty in a mentally ill queer character getting the happiest of endings imaginable puts futurama leagues ahead of every other show ever. 
  • turanga leela. EVERYTHING about her. she’s a disabled orphan who grew up bullied and literally had to go through everything alone. when we meet her, time and time again, she chooses her own destiny. the first episode starts with her quitting her boring job to be the best space pilot in the galaxy. leela is the strongest person on the show and is the closest thing to a superhero that the show has. she’s an intersectional feminist, stands up for the rights of minorities and animals. hell, she literally leads a revolution to get the mutants equal rights. one other thing that i want to note is that the animators wanted her nose smaller bc they didn’t think female characters should have big noses, but legend matt groening fought to keep it the size it was. 
  • matt groening also specifically created the character of amy wong to break the stereotype that only men can do slapstick. amy continuously breaks stereotypes. she’s a genius and has a phd, but she’s also ditzy. she’s promiscuous, she’s a party girl. her parents are emotionally abusive and she deals with an eating disorder. she’s also an asian woman who’s a lead character!! what other mainstream cartoon has done that? 
  • hermes conrad could’ve been the stereotypical token black character who only comes in once in a while to say “sassy” lines but he’s not. he’s a proud jamaican who’s a proud bureaucrat, a former olympic champion, and an amazing husband and father. and then we see the beautiful story of how he saved bender as a baby and it just makes you love him anymore.
  • this last point isn’t about the characters, but about one of the most clear main messages of the show, which fry says in bender’s big score: “i want what’ll make you happy, not what’ll make me happy.” not only does it destroy the nice guy trope in that instance, but it’s used in so many other great situations. bender giving up a relationship with his son so that his son can achieve his dreams, leela’s parents giving up a life with her so that she can have a better life. unconditional selfless love is presented to us time and time again and it’s such an important message 

compliment sentence starters.

’ you always know how to find that silver lining. ’
’ has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are? ’
’ you have the whitest teeth! you’ve got a hollywood smile! ’
’ you have the most beautiful eyes i’ve seen before. ’
’ i love your hair so much, it’s so pretty. ’
’ you have the best laugh in the universe. ’
’ you always dress so fabulous! you’ve got so much style! ’
’ you’re the best at anything and everything you do. ’
’ you are the smartest person i know! ’
’ sometimes i wonder why you’re my friend. ’
’ you’re the best friend anyone could ever ask for. ’
’ you always seem to have a solution for any problem. ’
’ you are the most attractive person i’ve had as a friend. ’
’ anything looks good on you! you’re perfect! ’
’ you always make the days a little brighter for people. ’
’ you’re like, really loved and adored, despite what you think. ’
’ anyone would be lucky to have you as a girl/boyfriend. ’
’ you’re going to make the best parent one day. ’
’ one day, you’re going to make someone so happy. ’
’ ever since i met you, i’d been the happiest i’ve ever been. ’
’ you are the perfect role model. ’
’ you deserve an award or something, you’re that great. ’
’ you did so good on that art work the other day! ’
’ that speech was phenomenal, left me speechless. ’
’ you’ve got an amazing face and i just want to stare at it all. ’
’ i could stare at you all day and never get tired. ’
’ you are the better looking out of the two of us. ’
’ you’re the smarter one out of the two of us. ’
’ you always smell so good. what perfume is that? ’
’ i’ll only get a make over, if you’re the one who does it. ’
’ i’d trust you with my life any day. ’
’ you have the biggest heart out of everyone i’ve ever met. ’
’ you are just the sweetest person ever. ’
’ you are so creative! i could never be that original. ’
’ your ideas are so beautiful and original, i love them. ’
’ you really do make a fantastic meal, the best i’ve ever had. ’
’ this is so delicious, oh my god, you’re amazing. ’
’ you do not need make up to look beautiful, you were blessed. ’
’ why does everything you buy fit you so well? ugh. ’
’ you give me so much inspiration. ’
’ you inspire me so much, i’ve always looked up to you. ’
why we deserve a jung joon hyung/ahn min hyuk in our lives

let me just say something that we all have realised before but never really gotten into talking further:

the similarities between jung joon hyung and ahn min hyuk on the way they treat everyone around them and themselves says a lot about how they are as a person.

both joon hyung and min hyuk have their fair share of pain caused by their family or past relationships and yet it doesnt make them bad people or use it as an excuse to become assholes to everyone especially towards the girl they end up liking, just cause they have been “hurt”.

no matter what happened to them, the moment they met kim bok joo and do bong soon they started off with simple yet touching and genuine, comedic gestures such as teasing them and are so friendly with them in a way that isnt romantic (yet).

joon hyung was bok joo’s best friend before anything else and he respected and supported her so much; he only then realised slowly that he liked her and when he came to terms with that, he wasn’t trying to push her away or tried avoiding her: he tells her he likes her! and he wasn’t even afraid to admit how much he liked her before and throughout the entire time they were dating!!

before even progressing with their relationship, joon hyung even asked for a chance for her to be with him - “don’t like me as your boyfriend? that’s okay, you can tell me that.” he would still respect her wishes even if it means turning him down.

as well as with min hyuk, he’s always wanted someone to protect him from day one and that’s what he saw in bong soon. he wasn’t afraid to admit that he was scared to her, even telling her bits and pieces about his life to her because besides being his bodyguard, she was also a shoulder for him to lean on when he can - he didn’t completely let her in, he had his moments especially when his “brother” kept making death threats, thus resulting in wanting to be alone. as time flew by, he realised how much bong soon meant to him and started opening up to her even more and more, and it was so pure.

min hyuk is as precious as joon hyung is because he also isn’t afraid to show bong soon how much he cares and admires her: him getting hurt was way better than getting bong soon hurt.

lets be real: these two boys don’t possess the most extravagant thing you would expect a typical kdrama lead to have yet they have the most genuine, pure and beautiful personality and that says something: they treat their girls with respect and support them no matter what; joon hyung with bok joo’s weightlifting and family problems, and min hyuk with bong soon’s inability to control her powers. not to mention the way they look at their woman like she’s the universe to them (swoon !!!)

from their strength to their appearances, how they talk and how comfortable the girls are with their own true selves, bok joo with her weightlifting and eating so much, and bong soon with her super powers, joon hyung and min hyuk find them attractive and beautiful no matter WHAT and that, everybody, says it all.

all in all - jung joon hyung and ahn min hyuk are so fucking PERFECT and one reason being is that they showcase what every man, boy, male, whatever should possess on treating their girl/SO and yet it melts our hearts SO MUCH because we rarely see this in real life!

we all deserve a joon hyung/min hyuk in our lives

  • Person A: Hey Person B, my girlfriend/boyfriend is better than yours!!!
  • Person B holding Person A's face, foreheads touching, looking into their eyes: You are the light of my life, the most beautiful person I have every laid eyes on and everyday I wonder what in the universe I did to deserve someone as perfect as you. I love you, with all my heart and soul and would cross over galaxies to find you if you were ever in trouble, which is why if I have to hear you say anything deprecating about yourself again I will need you to write down the first and last names of anyone that has ever said anything bad about you and destroy them.
  • Person A: *literally dies*

So to retaliate against all my saltiness, my brain brought up something quite pleasant that I hadn’t noticed before.

Sexiness is practically non-existent in the Halo universe.

Like, probably the closest thing we have to sexy is Cortana, and she’s not even portrayed as sexy, she simply has the appearance of a nude, young woman. Yet her nudity is never brought up. She’s considered beautiful, not sexy. 

Halo has few female aliens (which they make up with a near-equal ratio of male/female human characters), but those few female aliens we have seen don’t even have breasts or “feminine” traits. We had a book cover featuring a female Sangheili and her chest was completely flat (which is a blessing, considering Sangheili are based off reptiles.)

Armor is completely gender neutral, and it wasn’t until the Spartan VIs that the armors appearances gained more personality. And even then….

One of these Spartans is a woman, can you guess which?

And then there’s my favorite bit: the topic of beauty. Sexiness doesn’t play a role in Halo, but beauty most certainly does. Of course, we all know Cortana’s considered beautiful, but you know who else is considered beautiful?

This is Isabel, a new character to be featured in Halo Wars 2, and this is the commentary given by Craig Drake, who painted the game’s posters:

“I’m elated to contribute my visions to the Halo Wars 2 universe. It was an honor to depict Decimus’ crushing brute power as well as Isabel’s intelligence and beauty.”

By many accounts, Isabel would probably be considered pretty, not beautiful, but Halo says otherwise. 

The majority of Halo’s women are not conventionally beautiful; they’re old, they have eye bags, unfull lips, and “too” big noses, all the traits that mainstream media teaches us are ugly. And yet not a single one of these women are deemed ugly by the narrative. They’re all unique with vibrant personalities, all beneficial to the story - their appearance does not define them and yet they are all so beautiful.

Halo has done a quite a few shitty things to their women [side-eyes Halo 3 and Halo 5], but they have such a progressive and natural way of depicting them that I don’t think I’ve seen in any other video game, and it’s why Halo will always be my favorite. 

she’s funny
always making me laugh,
if I didn’t say so myself,
she’s my second half.
the longing that has been haunting
her internal consciousness is finally regained.
she’s finally wanted
and heres how this will be explained.
Her father left, her mother unexpressed.
raining down tears of sadness she remained well-founded
and suppressed her fears.
Assisting everyone as she’s collapsing at the bridge of her feet, shaking down not able to stand for much longer.
All she wanted was to be relaxing.
Her body ached, her eyes enlarged, not baring a single minute of each school day.
She found purpose.
and she stood tall no longer nervous for the sadness to flood her veins.
She remodeled and rebuilt who she was to who she is now.
Her sadness will remain forbidden in the pits of her soul, away from the surface above.
and this is where something called love is in control.
Love is guiding her gently through the horrifying abyss.
finding her way through the terrifying reality that not everyone will bow to her feet.
Looking around, her palms sweaty, people talking, as if their lips were walking. But what they were articulating, was echoing through her manipulating sanity.
love guides her out of the insanity that is aching to fill her foreign constitution.
the difficulties she encounters are only mountains to be climbed and oceans to cross.
Never the less will love help her across.
She’s stronger than love, she doesn’t need love.
But without her love she wouldn’t be above the rest of society.
Cancer is her sign, very vulnerable at any given time.
But she doesn’t usually face her design head on.
compatible with a pisces, they fit just fine. heightened emotions mixed with romantic ambitions, the two will eternally love each other like fine wine at a celebration.
she knows how to make you feel invincible.
Like you are the most visible sight in her journey through this universe. No need to question her love because she will devote herself to the one she cherishes most.
Beautiful is an understatement.
She has honey sweet lips. They are lilac soft.
she has a soothing voice. And a joyous personality.
Only anyone around her felt warm inside.
Uneasy at times she does not notice the rays of sun that radiate when she smiles.
They would travel for miles, at least 3,032 to a place called New York.
Big city, bright lights. Not a fantasy but a dream, you could almost imagine hearing her adolescent tittering about the unfamiliar city.
Her heart internally placed in New York, but not the city itself.
A girl perhaps, holds her heart, firm- like a scholar and his smarts.
undying trust in one another the two of them slowly developed into one.
fighting the distance soon enough it’ll be all done.
No more distance no more patience.
So here I am, describing my extraordinary girlfriend, the love and compassion she has for her beloved family, friends and me. Enough to last a lifetime.
when you read this I hope this gives you the confidence that lies between my eyes and yours. I see the girl that can get through it all. Who will never truly fall.
—  She’s my world 

The most beautiful thing in the world is seeing a broken, weary, tired person smiling through the tears because they know that the God who breathed life into the entire universe is still in control.

Fight the good fight Christian. Stand tall knowing that the one who bled for you has already won.

I think one of my favourite things about “Steven Universe”, and one of the things I find most touching and personally affirming, is the relationship between Rose Quartz and Greg.

I mean, here’s Rose, who’s represented as this powerful, intelligent, charismatic, beautiful woman, respected as both a warrior and a leader.  She travels to Earth and decides to spend her life there, and in 6000 years, the human she decides is most interesting, most engaging, most beautiful…is Greg.  

Greg is a doofus.  He’s bald.  He’s fat.  He’s a slob with no sense of style or grooming.  He’s practically homeless.  He’s a failed rock and roll star whose dreams of fame and fortune ended with him running a small town car wash and living in the back of an ancient van. In any other show, he would be the loser of the cast, the fuck-up, the somewhat lovable, helpless goofball who can’t be counted on for anything.

But Rose thought he was beautiful.

It’s something of a sitcom parody; the dimwitted, ugly, slovenly husband with the beautiful, intelligent wife.  Fred and Wilma, Archie and Edith, Peter and Lois, Homer and Marge.  But Rose and Greg’s relationship isn’t like that.  Even in my favourite of those relationships, that of Marge and Homer, Homer is presented as more than a bit of a jerk.  Oh, he’s a fundamentally decent man who genuinely loves his family and treasures his wife, but he’s also selfish, thoughtless, more than occasionally neglectful, lazy, and self-centered.  And more than that, in those shows, the husband is really the main character.  Most of the wife’s role is reacting to his antics.  But that’s not Rose and Greg’s story.

Greg is a good man.  Not just a decent guy under the jerky exterior, but a truly and fundamentally good man.  He stands up to his misogynist buddy.  He adores and encourages his son in every way.  He is kind and giving to everyone he meets.  He works hard, even though it’s a job that he never wanted and that has taken the place of his dream.  Speaking of that, even though he’s never seen even a lick of the stardom he dreamed of, Greg has never lost sight of his ambitions.  He still plays music, still sings, still performs, still writes albums.  Greg may never make it as a rock star, but he will never stop trying.  This is what Rose saw.  This is what Rose, one of the most powerful and respected warriors and generals of her people, came to love.

In a world where success and worth are measured primarily in material gains and career-based achievements, Greg is a reminder of what’s truly important.  In the show, his failed music career, his chubby build, his sloppy clothes, his poverty…they don’t matter.  What’s emphasised is the true, human beauty of Greg; the warmth, the kindness, the courage, the imagination, the dedication to art and devotion to family.  It’s a reminder to all of us who have been pushed to be “successful”, been hassled about when we were “going to get serious”…that even if we are living in poverty, even if we have no real career, even if we’re not conventionally attractive or haven’t achieved all we’ve wanted to…we still have value.  We still have beauty.  And we are still loved.

What I’m talking about when I’m talking about Soft Bucky

If Steve’s Mister Leadership, then Bucky’s Mister Nurturing.  He grew up the eldest kid in a busy family and there’s no way he doesn’t know a thing or two about infant care.  Soft Bucky who had always harboured some little aspiration of going to college, but gladly took a job out of school instead because his family was stretched thin enough as it was.  Soft Bucky who dreamed of one day spending the summer in a cabin in the mountains with Steve, where Steve could practice his sketches and Bucky could finally write that novel he knew he had in him; the clean air would do them both good, he reasoned, and you could see so many more stars without the city lights to get in the way.  Soft Bucky who wanted to show all the wonders of the universe to Steve.  Soft Bucky who always had Steve’s back in a fight, and was there to ice down his bruises and bandage his scrapes.  Soft Bucky who was never afraid to give Steve a damn good talking to when he was too stubborn to slow down and put his own needs first.  Soft Bucky who’s always longed for a little family of his own, but never really let himself dream of it because fellas like him didn’t get to dream of nice things like that when he was coming of age and realising that the only person he ever wanted to make a little life with was his best friend Steve.

Soft Bucky who was proud to be posted with the 107th when he was drafted, and was the damn best at what he did because he wasn’t about to let his men down, not because he revels in battle, but because he is loyal and kind.  Soft Bucky who’s first question when Steve burst in to save him (because of course, if anyone was going to be there exactly when he needed someone, it was going to be Steve), suddenly so strong and tall, was not how it happened or what amazing things he could now do, but whether it hurt.  Soft Bucky, who quietly deferred when he saw that he was not the only one who looked at Steve and saw that he was made of the most beautiful stardust in all the universe, whose love would become a ghost story, a tale told in a whisper, an almost, and a can’t-be, because that was all a fella like him could hope for in those days, but Steve was happy, and he would be grateful for that.

Soft Bucky who fought and fought and raged before he would let himself become submerged, until there was nothing and no-one left to live for, who watched some blank and ersatz version of a person using his body, over and over, for things he could never unsee, clawing at the walls of his mind, until Steve and his stupid stubborn fists punched through with a few little words and set him free, and in his shame and confusion, for fear of the hurt he had done, he ran.

Soft Bucky who spent two years keeping his head down, drifting from country to country while he pieced together his history, following a labyrinthine treasure map until he found himself.  Soft Bucky who could have spent those two years, and all the intelligence he had in him, hunting down all the people who had hurt him and picking them off just as easily as he could shoot a row of cans off of fence posts with a sniper rifle, but who chose not to take revenge.  Soft Bucky, whose revenge is just to live, and be kind.

I’m talking about Soft Bucky who at first was afraid to tell Steve how much he remembered to protect him, who was so torn between regret that he had caused Steve so much trouble, and gratitude that, at long last, he is back where he belongs.

Soft Bucky who’s going to be in therapy for years, who still wakes up in a cold sweat, haunted; soft Bucky who bristles at the idea of taking orders, of being controlled, who mentally maps out all the potential exits every time he enters a room for the first time, but slowly lets himself feel safe.  Soft Bucky who has friends he loves who love him too.  Soft Bucky who finds purpose in using his hands to create rather than to destroy: kneading flour and water together into soft dough to bake bread, feeling the comforting scrape of pen against paper as he scribbles down old memories and new stories in his many notebooks - and later, using wood reclaimed from old barns to build beautiful nursery furniture as they await the arrival of the new member of their family.

Soft Bucky who still upbraids Steve in no uncertain terms if he catches him going out without a scarf in winter, who loves his family and friends more than words can say, who likes going to the farmer’s market on Saturdays and brunch on Sundays.

Soft Bucky who lives with gratitude and love, who finally gets to live the things he never let himself dream of, because somehow, he and Steve woke into a world where fellas like him can, so they do.

That’s what I’m talking about.