the morning joe

Not fake news. Just the facts.

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of coffee, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to insure their safety and that they work as advertised. All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer’s medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance - now Joe gets it too.

He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe’s bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry. In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.

Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air. He walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe’s employer pays these standards because Joe’s employer doesn’t want his employees to call the union.

If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he’ll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn’t think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

It’s noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe’s deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe’s money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression. Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime.

Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards. He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers’ Home Administration because bankers didn’t want to make rural loans. The house didn’t have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn’t belong and demanded rural electrification.
He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn’t have to.

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn’t mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day.

Joe agrees: “We don’t need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I’m a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have.”


Just to prove that he actually did it

Adweek backs us up on this.

HBO said Monday afternoon that the ads did indeed run Monday morning at the following times: CNN, 8:50 a.m.; MSNBC, 8:29 a.m.; Fox News, 8:48 a.m.

Imagine you and Chris answering 73 questions from Vogue.

A/N: Oops, I kind of went a little off the rails with this piece. The word count’s like 2.7K? It’s super fluffy, but it’s also slightly more personalized because I was addressing @alxpxe interracial couple request, as well as @dxbrevgrey’s request. Hope y'all enjoy this! (P.S - Thanks for answering my “where are you from?” question! I really, really appreciate it.)

Chris looked up from his newspaper when he saw you enter the kitchen from the corner of his eye. You were too busy responding to the text from Joe Sabina- Vogue’s 73 Question interviewer- to notice your husband was smiling at you with great adoration. He’d noticed in the past few months that you’d been looking particularly beautiful, like there was a glow about you. He figured he was just being a biased, wide-eyed husband, but he was right- there was something different about you that you were yet to share with him.

“Don’t you look beautiful,” he teased and you turned to him.

“Thank you, baby,” you walked over to peck his cheek and his smile widened as he looped an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him. “Joe’s like five minutes away, that’s why I’m all dressed up.” You told him, draping your arm around his neck.

“Nope,” he shook his head and your eyes narrowed in confusion. “You always look beautiful, whether or not you dress up and make up.” He explained and you chuckled, kissing the top of his head. “So today’s the day, huh?” He asked as he released you to return to his eggs.

“Mm hm,” you pulled your arm off him to go make yourself a cup of green tea. “I know I was hesitant to do it at first, but now I’m actually excited. It really is an honor to be a part of the series,” you said and Chris nodded in agreement.

You had been asked a couple week ago to be a part of the prestigious 73 Questions interview; you didn’t really know if it was prestigious, all you knew was that many of those that had been a part of it were either talented friends of yours or people you admired greatly. Joe had called your publicist to set up the interview, and since then you’d emailed with him back and forth to plan the transcript as well as had a two hour lunch to finalize it. It took a while to refine what was going to be asked and answered, but you were finally ready to shoot the episode.

“It is, and I’m glad I managed to convince you to do it. Our fans would’ve killed you if you’d declined,” he joked. “There are a lot of people who want to hear you answer seventy-three personal questions as well as walk through our home.” He said then laughed when you did. “Anyway-” he shoveled the rest of his eggs into his mouth and murmured with it full, “do you want Dodger and I to make ourselves scarce?”

“Definitely not,” you quickly said because you’d something planned for the end of the interview that you needed Chris around for. “I think our fans would kill you if you and Dodger didn’t show face in the interview. You do realize that we have more fans as a couple than as individuals, right?” He laughed at that even though he knew it was true; when you got married, all your fans clumped into one large supportive group. “Joe and I worked you into the transcript anyway, so you’re not going anywhere,” you looped an arm around his neck and mumbled into his hair, “mister.”

“I’m happy to stay,” he tipped his head to kiss your jawline, “missus.” The doorbell rang and you pulled away from Chris as he said, “there’s Joe. And-” Dodger barreled in from the backyard and headed for the front door. “There’s Dodger,” he said and you both laughed. “Wait till I grab him to open the door, I don’t think we need another head to the nuts incident.”

“No we don’t,” you chuckled and started towards the front door with Chris following behind you. “They’ve already started filming, by the way. So as soon as we open the door, the interview’s in movement. You ready?” You asked, glancing over your shoulder at Chris; he nodded and grabbed Dodger’s collar while you opened the door for Joe.

“Good morning, guys.” Joe smiled behind his handheld camera.

“Hey Joe,” you and Chris both greeted him, smiling.

“Who do we have here?” Joe moved the camera to show Dodger. “This must be the famous Dodger, I’m very thankful you’re holding him back because I don’t think I can take a hit to the nuts so early in the morning.” You all laughed at that. “So shall we begin the interview?”

“Sure,” you both stepped to the side to welcome Joe inside. “If you don’t mind taking your shoes off, that’d be great.” You told him and he directed his camera at both yours and Chris’ socked feet. You’d already discussed it in the transcript, that your shoeless house would be one of his seventy-three questions.

“No problem,” he nodded and started to take off his shoes as he asked his first question. “You come from an Asian family and you’re a bit of a clean freak.” Chris snickered because a bit was an understatement; he couldn’t even sit on the bed without having a shower first. “So this is a habit for you.” You nodded, nudging Chris as you tried not to laugh. “Do you take off your shoes at every house you visit?”

“Most houses,” you nodded.

“All houses,” Chris interjected. “She does it at every house she visits, unless the floors seem dirty or the host insists she keeps them on.” You shot him a dirty look as you tried not to laugh; he’d successfully made you sound like a snob as well as offend the hosts of the houses you’d visited before without taking off yours shoes. “But she’s pretty cute about it, so it’s fine.”

Joe chuckled then used his camera to get a view of the front of your house. “I like the vibe the two of you’ve got going on here, it’s very zen and peaceful.” You looked over at Chris, smiling. “Did you do the interior yourself?” He asked, directing the camera back at you and Chris.

“Chris did,” you pointed at your husband. “We talked about redecorating after the honeymoon, but that was like- what?” You glanced at Chris, both of you chuckling. “Four years ago? We’ve been fairly preoccupied.” Chris nodded. “But honestly, our styles are fairly similar. I didn’t feel a dire need to change things up, I kind of just allowed my things to blend with his.”

“Do you think this is the house you’ll raise your kids in?”

“No,” you and Chris both said simultaneously. “Um-” You glanced at him and you both laughed. “Definitely not,” you continued. “We both love LA and it is where we have to be most of the time because of our jobs, but eventually we’d like to move back to Chris’ hometown.”

“Why not your hometown?”

“That’s a bit tricky considering I’m from two places,” you chuckled, referring to the two countries you called home; Singapore was where you were born, and Australia was where you were raised. “It’s just easier for us if we live in The States because of our jobs, and I’m so used to life here now that I can’t see myself going back to either places. We do go on holidays quite often, but that’s about it.”

“For the record,” Chris spoke up. “I love both countries my girl’s from. Their cultures are vastly different from each other, and mine, but I find it incredibly interesting. It’s always nice to immerse myself in her holidays, especially Chinese New Year. We’ve been back to Singapore a couple of times for it and it’s just awesome. There is so much food, like- ridiculous amounts. Imagine Thanksgiving, but more food and more than one day.”

“Chris has a lot of trouble when we go back for Chinese New Year, especially when we have a Marvel movie coming up because he wants to eat everything but he can’t.” Chris nodded with pursed lips and you laughed, looping your arm with his. “Shall we move on to the rest of the house?”

“Yes, please.”

Joe followed you and Chris as you led him through the rest of your house, answering quick fire questions that told the fans more about you, and Chris, and your life as a married couple. Dodger sprinted off the moment Chris released his collar, but not without getting a pat or two from Joe first. You toured the kitchen where Joe asked you and Chris questions twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two, and twenty-three.

“Who does the cooking?”

“Both of us, but we usually take responsibility for a certain meal,” you answered. “Like Chris always does breakfasts because he’s an early riser. I’m more lunch and dinner, though we’re never really home during lunch time.”

“What’s your favorite cuisine?”

“Italian,” you answered then looked over at Chris.

“I just like yummy food,” he answered with a soft chuckle.

“Your family owned a restaurant when you were younger and you were in charge of desserts,” Joe stated and you nodded. “What’s your favorite dessert item to make?” He asked you then asked Chris, “and what’s your favorite dessert item to eat?”

“Anything with chocolate,” you said when Joe’s camera was on you.

“Favorite dessert item to eat, like- that Y/N makes?” Chris quizzed when Joe’s camera was on him; Joe nodded. “Oh wow, that’s a tough question. Honestly- before I met Y/N, I was not a dessert guy at all. I ate a lot of jellybeans and ice-cream, but that was about it. But God, she’s converted me. I can’t go a meal without dessert now,” he laughed and you smiled. “But my favorite thing? It’s probably her chocolate chip cookies, they just give me such a homey feeling.”

“Can I try one?” Joe asked, directing his camera at the cookie jar sitting on your kitchen bench top. You nodded and took one out of the jar and passed it to him. “Oh wow,” he said after taking a bite. “This is possibly the best chocolate chip cookie I’ve ever tasted, this is delicious.”

“Now you know why I have to work out all the time,” Chris joked.

With those questions answered, you all moved back into the living room. Joe questioned the both of you on the awards you’d received that were displayed on the fireplace mantel, as well as the photographs hanging on your walls. The photographs- the one of you and Chris on set meeting for the first time, and then one from your wedding- were the cues to move onto Joe’s questions onto your Marvel career as well as your relationship with Chris, which you’d thoroughly discussed with Chris before agreeing to answer.

“What is your most memorable moment on a Marvel set?”

“Meeting my husband,” you didn’t even have to think twice.

“And what is it like being married to Captain America?”

“Patriotic,” you joked. Beside you, Chris laughed softly with a shake of his head. “No, it’s wonderful. Chris is the perfect man,” you smiled as you slipped your hand into Chris’; he gave your hand a gentle squeeze. “And he’s also lot more than Captain America.”

“Did you know when you first met Chris that he was going to be the one you’d marry?”

“She definitely knew,” Chris answered before you could; his tone was smug and he had a smirk on his face that made you laugh. “But to be fair,” he chuckled, “I did tell her I was going to marry her numerous times.” You laughed harder, nodding in agreement. “I’m just lucky she didn’t run.”

“So it was love at first sight then?”

“For me it was,” Chris nodded, smiling at you.

“Me too,” you said after smiling at him. “I mean- what’s not to love?”

“Best memory as a couple?”

“Our first Christmas together,” you both said at the same time then chuckled when you caught each other’s gaze. “I was in London for a job and Chris was on break back in Boston, so we didn’t think we’d see each other. But um-” you smiled, “he left his family and flew out to London to surprise me and we had a great Christmas together. It was very sweet, I was in tears when I saw him at my hotel door.”

“Is that the nicest thing Chris has ever done for you?”

“It’s up there,” you nodded. “But the thing is, he’s such a sweet and romantic guy that I couldn’t possibly highlight one thing or event. He’s done a lot for me over the course of our relationship, all of it seems as nice as the one before. I can’t choose,” you shook your head, “no way.”

“And what’s the nicest thing Y/N has done for you?”

“I think marrying me?” Chris said then smiled when he heard you chuckle.

“If you were to pick an animal for your partner, what animal would it be?”

“Chris is most definitely a puppy,” you laughed. “He’s always up and at it, he’s always so bubbly and happy- he’s adorable and lovely and kind and just- a down to earth, good guy. He’s the human version of Dodger, it’s no wonder they found each other.”

“Aw,” Chris cooed, pulling his hand out of yours to wrap his arm around you. “Well, Y/N is a cat. Intelligent, sassy, independent, and also very mysterious. You think you’ve got her figured out, but you don’t and you won’t until you show that you’re invested in her. Once she knows you’re here to stay, she’ll cozy up to you and she’ll love you till the end of time.”

“And you said you’re not a cat person,” you teased him.

“I guess you’re my exception, aren’t you?” He winked and you chuckled.

Joe mouthed “seventy-three” and you knew it was his cue to wrap up the interview. You tapped Chris’ leg and you all got onto your feet, walking Joe towards the front door. “Well, it’s been lovely being in your house and talking to the both of you. I believe we’re up to the last question, so here it is.” Joe shared a knowing smile with you, whereas Chris was completely oblivious. “Is it a boy or a girl?” He quizzed and you bit back your smile, slipping your hand into Chris’.

“What do you mean?” Chris’ eyes narrowed in confusion, then he turned to you when Joe beckoned his head at you. You smiled and realization swept over Chris’ face. “Are we-” He cut himself off when he saw you nod, and his smile reached his eyes. “No!” He pulled his hand out of yours and covered his mouth. “We’re pregnant?!”

“I can’t answer that because that’d be seventy-four questions, so I’ll answer Joe’s.” You said and Chris’ eyes glistened with tears of joy as he waited to hear if he was going to be a dad to a handsome baby boy or a beautiful baby girl. “It’s a boy.”

“Yes!” He cheered and hugged you, lifting you off the ground. You laughed and wrapped your arms around him, smiling at Joe who was letting himself out after nodding at you gratefully. “I’m going to be a dad, I’m going to be a dad!”

“Yes you are,” you cupped Chris’ face in your hands when he put you down onto your feet and released you. “And you’re going to be the best dad in the whole wide world.” He smiled and cupped your face in his hands, pulling you towards him to press a kiss on your forehead.

“I was wrong, you know.”

“About what?” You quizzed, looking up to meet Chris’ gaze.

“About the nicest thing you’ve done for me,” he answered and you smiled because you knew what he was going to say next. “Because this is it. You’ve helped me check off everything on my life plan. I got to work with my celebrity crush, I got to marry the love of my life, and now I’m having a child with my soul mate. That’s it, I have everything and I don’t think I can ask for anything more.” Your heart swelled when you saw his blue eyes glistened. “Well-” he chuckled and leaned in, “maybe just a kiss?”

“You got it,” you smiled.

“I love you,” he breathed when his lips were inches from yours.

“I love you more,” you said then met his soft lips.

Tags: @chrisevans-imagines @widowsfics @m-a-t-91 @xoxomioxoxo @imaginesofdreams @ateliefloresdaprimavera @katiew1973 @winter-tospring @shamvictoria11 @caitsymichelle13 @michellekeehlmello @letterstomyself21 @soymikael @faye22 @always-an-evans-addict @sammyrenae68 @brobrobreja @elizabeth-matsuoka @thegirlwiththeimpala @camerica96 @all-of-the-above11 @captainamerica-ce @whenyourealizethisisntagoodname @yourtropegirl @smoothdogsgirl @createdbytinyaddiction @siofrataylor @dreamingintheimpalawithdean @imaginary-world-of-mine @wanderingkat77 @grantward3 @rileyloves5 @chrsmom302 @buckys-shield @mylittlefandomfanfictions @breezykpop @catch-me-im-a-falling-star @tabi-toast @ssweet-empowerment @hayleesteashoppe @chrixa @feelmyroarrrr @akidura79 @louisespecter @castellandiangelo @ccrossfire @assxmblesstuff @edward-lover18 @princessesnaddy @1d-niallerbieberforever @dxbrevgrey @bellastellaluna @christopher-or-steven (Inbox me if you’d like to be added to the tag list)

Paul Ryan Pulls Doomed Health Care Bill at Trump’s Request

The GOP has pulled the Health Care bill that would have repealed and replaced the Affordable Care Act.

“You’ve all heard me say this before — moving from an opposition party to a governing party comes with growing pains and, well, we’re feeling those growing pains today,” House Speaker Paul Ryan said following the announcement.

“This is a disappointing day for us,” he added. “Doing big things is hard. All of us, all of us, myself included, will need time to reflect on how we got to this moment, what we could have done to do it better. … This is a setback, no two ways about it — but it is not the end of the story because I know that every man and woman in this conference is now motivated more than ever to step up on their game, to deliver on our promises.”

Also Read: Trump Rips GOP Over Healthcare: ‘Finally Your Chance for a Great Plan’

President Trump spoke from the Oval Office after Ryan’s announcement, saying that the health care bill fell short in the lead-up to the House vote because of no support from Democrats. “They weren’t going to give us a single vote,” the president said.

He went on to say that he is “open” to tackling health care again if “Obamacare” implodes. “If [Democrats] got together with us and get a real health care bill, I’d be totally open to it. And I think that’s going to happen. If it loses… Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer… now they own Obamacare. They own it. They 100 percent own it.”

Trump added, “It’s imploding and will soon explode. And it’s not going to be pretty.”

Also Read: 'Morning Joe’ Trashes Trump’s Health Care Plan: 'Obviously Stupid Play’ (Video)

With news outlets reporting that 27 Republicans in the House were solidly in the “no” camp and another four likely to follow, the outcome of the bill was in doubt from the get-go. As of Friday morning, the approval of the GOP health care plan was at 17 percent.

“Why would you schedule a vote on a bill that is at 17% approval? Have we forgotten everything Reagan taught us?” former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich tweeted earlier. MSNBC calls it “a failure marked in the official congressional record.”

House Democratic leader Nancy Pelosi told AP, “Today is a victory for the American people.”

Next on President Trump’s agenda: a pivot to tax cuts and tax reform.

Related stories from TheWrap:

'Morning Joe’ Trashes Trump’s Health Care Plan: 'Obviously Stupid Play’ (Video)

Trump Rips GOP Over Healthcare: 'Finally Your Chance for a Great Plan’

Watch Sen. Maria Cantwell Drag Poor Macklemore Into the Health Care Debate (Video)

Ann Coulter Shreds Donald Trump, Paul Ryan Over 'Obamacare Lite’ Healthcare Plan, Tax Cuts

Republican Congressman Advises Poor Americans to Choose Healthcare Over a New iPhone (Video)

Sunday Morning - Joe Sugg

Pairing: Joe Sugg & Y/N
Words: 945
Warning(s): none
Summary/Request:  Can you make an imagine where Y/N and Joe are just cuddling in bed and having cute little moments and mainly have fluff? Thank you!!

You woke up to fingers tracing up and down your exposed back, your pj top obviously shifting during the night. The fingers trace up your spine and down to the base of it, moving to outline different shapes and words that you could barely make out.
What you did make out was the light touches that were spelling out the words ‘I love you’.
“I love you too, Joe.” You replied sleepily, turning your head on your pillow so that you could face your long-term boyfriend.
He smiled at your words, happy that you were now awake on the beautiful Sunday morning.
His fingers continued to make shapes on your back as you woke up a bit more.
Opening your eyes fully, you moved yourself so that you were cuddled into Joe’s side, head on chest and legs intertwined with each other.
“I don’t want to get up.” You whined lightly, nuzzling your head further into his chest.
“We don’t have to, videos are all scheduled, no plans with the boys or anyone today, just me and you and this room.” He answered, placing a kiss on the top of your head.
“Speaking of the boys, how are they?” you asked.
Joe spoke of the boys, how Jack was progressing well with his DJ work, Conor was working on some new music, Caspar being out with Maddie a lot and not really seeing the boys much, but he was happy that his friend was happy. He talked about Josh and Mikey, how they were excited for new projects coming up soon and some future skit ideas they had, Oli and how proud he was for him coming out with his second book, happy that he had made so many friends because he was bored and decided to do what Zoe was doing one day.
He spoke about the Sidemen, and the videos he recently filmed with Simon, JJ, and Cal. How he thought his viewers were really going to like them, however he did have to edit them down quite a bit since they were going on his main channel.
Joe was currently training with the boys quite a bit due to the Sidemen match coming up soon.
“I’m really excited for it, it went down really well last time.” He rambled, but you were content listening to him as he was happy. “But there’s going to be a lot more people there than last time…” he trailed off.
You turned to look up at him, moving your hand that was around his waist up to his face, getting him to look back at you.
“Hey, you’ll do great. I know you will. And I’ll be right there on the sidelines with the other girls, cheering you on no matter what happens.” You reassured him.

You moved onto the topic of going to visit your families for a bit before the summer, as that would be the busiest time of year for the two of you. You arranged that you would go down to see his dad and then his mum, before going out to see your family a week later. As you had been going out with Joe for a couple of years, your families were always very excited when the two of you came to visit, organising a fun packed week when you did.
You began to talk about VidCon, how excited the two of you were about going, to see all the long-distance friends you had both made through YouTube. About the collabs you had planned with others, knowing that they would be good for when they came out. You were both staying for two weeks after VidCon ended, spending a week at Coachella and the rest of the time relaxing and exploring California.

After the long and detailed chats about where you were staying, and where exactly the two of you wanted to go, you came to a comfortable silence.
Joe rubbed his hand up the side of your arm, pressing warm kisses on the top of your head, trailing them down the side of your face and eventually meeting your lips.
Joe changed his position so that he was hovering over you slightly, leaning his weight onto the mattress below you. Drawing back ever so slightly, he gazed into your eyes and smiled.
He leaned in again, pressing short but sweet kisses to your lips, making you giggle in response.
He moved to your side, but moved his hand so that his fingers delicately traced over your facial features.
“I can’t wait for Sunday mornings in the future,” he whispered, running his finger slowly down the bridge of your nose.
“Kids coming running in, begging for you to come make breakfast for them and to play games,” he continued, tracing the dip where your collar bone was.
“Us having to cover up quickly because we had some amazing sex the night before,” he smirked, tracing over the outline of your lips before you hit him in the side lightly.
“Joe!” you laughed.
“You’re going to look so beautiful in a wedding dress coming down the aisle, having that pregnant glow with all our mini-me’s, growing old together.” He smiled thinking about it.
You imagined the future, one with Joe and children, maybe a daily vlogging channel to document the most sacred moments of your time together.
You both smiled, Joe leaning down to kiss you properly, tingles coming from where your lips met and where his hands were rested on your waist.

He pulled back a fraction, “I think we should go make breakfast.”

Ganging Up

“And look who’s joined us this morning,” Joe announces, spinning the camera around to the other man standing in the room.

“Who?!” Graham looks back and forth quickly, although his face is cut off from the shot, smiling as soft giggles come from the woman sat at the counter. “Ah, yes! The lovely Y/N!” He gestures over to her as Joe shifts the camera to her.

“I’m here most mornings,” She teases, sticking out her tongue at the camera.

“And now Joe will have to edit that out,” Graham winks at her, knowing that the viewers still weren’t fully aware of how close the couple had gotten.

“I know, it’s so much fun saying stuff he has to edit out.”

“Oh, so glad you get enjoyment from my torture,” Joe drawls, rolling his eyes.

“Part of being in a relationship, son!” Graham announces, turning his attention back to the breakfast he’s cooking. “Now, grab the plates, foods nearly ready.”


“Grab the plates, Joe.”

“I can grab them…” Y/N starts to get up, but Graham shakes his head quickly.

“Joe has two arms and two legs, he can grab them.” He winks at her again, and she smiles knowing that he’s simply trying to rile Joe up.

“Oh yes, lets just force the youtuber to stop vlogging,” Joe mutters, “You know, the thing he has to do for a living.”

“What are you talking about?” Y/N cocks her head, “You aren’t a daily vlogger.”

“Don’t you start too.” He glares over at her, grabbing a couple of plates.

“Start what?” She smiles back innocently, “You’re the one always claiming you aren’t a daily vlogger.”

“She’s got a point,” Graham nods, tapping the camera Joe had put down on the counter, “There’s physical proof of that.”

“You two are never allowed around each other again.” Joe replies, exchanging the plates for his camera, quickly turning it back on. “So Y/N and my dad think that because I don’t daily vlog, I’m not a true youtuber.”

“We never said that!” She protests, leaning over the counter to get in shot, “He’s making up lies!”

“Lying to your fans now, Joe?” Graham shakes his head, “How do they put up with you!”

“That’s what I ask all the time,” Y/N sighs, settling back in her seat as Joe spins around.

“Will you two stop it?! I am not lying to them!”

“Yes you are.” They reply in unison, and Joe lets out a small groan, looking back at the camera.

“No, I’m not. I would never lie to you.”

Graham clears his throat from the other side of the camera, and when Joe looks up, he points over at Y/N with his spatula, raising an eyebrow. Joe looks over at his girlfriend, who just starts giggling.

“Alright…” He focuses back on the camera, “I take back that statement. Although, it’s not lying. Just keeping stuff from you. To keep some privacy in my life. You understand that, right?”

“The camera isn’t going to answer, son. Sorry to break it to you.” Graham says casually, dishing out the food.

“I’m not asking the camera!” Joe splutters, waving his hand around, “I’m asking the viewers!”

“Do you see viewers, Y/N?”

“Hmm, no, I don’t. Just us and the camera.”

“So unless he’s asking us, but I don’t think he was.”

“No, I don’t think so.” She taps her fork against her chin, “He must be talking to the camera.”

“My thoughts exactly,” Graham nods once, picking up his plate as Joe stares over at the two of them.

“Are you serious right now?” He asks, glancing between the two.

“Sorry, us or the camera?” Graham asks, smirking as he takes a bite of food, Joe glaring over at him.

“Last time I invite you over.”

“Last time I make you breakfast.”

“This is unfair!” Joe pouts, staring at the camera, “My dad and girlfriend are against me. They have joined forces against me!”

“Oh sweetie,” Y/N coos, “We’ve been doing that since the day you introduced us!”

“My biggest mistake.” He grumbles, hitting the button to stop the recording, grabbing his plate and sinking into the seat beside her.

“You mean the best thing you could have done,” Graham points his fork over at Joe.

“It’s because we love you, babe.” Y/N leans over, kissing his cheek.

“Some way of showing your love,” Joe rolls his eyes, but his pout is fading as she links an arm with his, leaning against him while they eat.

“If I didn’t bug you, how would you know you’re my favourite?” Graham comments, picking up Joe’s camera and turning it back on.

“What are you doing…”

“And here we have the adorable couple enjoying a lovely meal cooked by Daddy Sugg. To which Joseph should be grateful, because it allowed him to vlog instead of wasting time cooking.”

“This is why you don’t have a channel,” Joe scoffs.

“I would have an amazing channel!”

“I’d subscribe.” Y/N tells him, “You could be the daily vlogger!”

“They’d all forget about Joe and watch me,” Graham chuckles as Joe’s pout returns, and he leans forward to grab the camera, but his dad steps back as Y/N tugs him back into his seat.

“Quit being a baby, and eat your breakfast.”

“You are both never allowed around each other again.” Joe repeats as the other two start to laugh.


Demi Lovato, Joe Manganiello dish on ‘Smurfs’


Donald Trump’s team literally cannot find the light switches to the cabinet room in which they conduct their meetings, and have to speak in the dark and feel their way out of the room, according to a report that sheds interesting detail on life inside the White House.

Aside from difficulties with the electronics, Trump is apparently missing the validation from his cheering supporters on the campaign trail and has become disappointed with a tide of bad publicity following the implementation of his Muslim travel ban.

Trump’s consumption of TV news – in his dressing gown or over dinner - also emerged as one of his key traits.

He also routinely goes through new clips about himself with his Press Secretary, Sean Spicer, outlining in marker pen stories he doesn’t like. (source)

Additionally, based on Trump’s tweets, tv advertisers, network executives, and others (presumably foreign nationals) have been able to determine which shows he routinely watches. MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” and Fox’s “The O'Reilly Factor” are reportedly Trump’s favorite “news” sources. (source)