While we were all grieving Hannah Baker, consumed with secretly hating everyone she blamed, we didn’t notice Alex and his kind soul. Warning spoilers below!!
Let’s be honest, the whole time we watched, we judged everyone in Hannah’s life, for not noticing the things that were changing about her, and how each of those things brought her closer to her death. Unlike Hannah’s people, we noticed the little things she’d say that—from our point of view—made it hella obvious she was suicidal.
I worried more for Tyler, the creepy photography kid. Everyone treated him like trash, constantly told to “disappear” and “go away”. Yet, in the end I found myself incredibly surprised Alex Standall tried to kill himself. After we hear the Principal tell Mr. Porter, Alex had shot himself— I found myself wondering, WTF did I miss?
The writers of 13 Reasons Why were incredibly clever in slipping his suicide in. It serves as a reminder that, it is NOT simple to determine if someone will commit suicide. More so, if they’ve never attempted to, leaving us with no reason to watch them so closely.
WTF did I miss?
If you go over 13 Reasons Why a second time— after knowing Alex shoots himself— you’ll see details you disregarded before, as anyone would. Take for example the small discussion Alex and Troy (from his band club) have. Alex is asked if hes alright by a girl in his band club. He responds Yes, and hesitantly says he’s overslept (a symptom of depression, btw). Less than a minute later he speaks about song choice with Troy:
Alex: If they want a spirit raiser how about “Gloomy Sunday”?
Troy: Are you serious? That song’s totally depressing.
Alex: Or it’s beautiful, if you have taste.
Troy: Or if you’re suicidal.
Alex then walks off. He takes a breath and runs his hands over his hair. We dismiss his reaction as one pertaining to Hannah’s own suicide, but in a second take, he might have already begun pondering his own.
Prior to this even, his clothing goes from colorful, to dark t-shirts. He repeatedly arrives late, and has been seeing a doctor regularly, as seen in episode 2 when the school office clerk makes a remark ( “another doctor’s note?”). He goes on to a physical altercation, and having bouts of anger as he rips “Suicide is not the answer” type posters from the school walls.
In episode 12, while Hannah’s reasons gather around to discuss why they must protect their secret and what their futures will lose, Alex says “I’ve got no plans, I’m good to tell the truth.”
He’s later seen at home, putting finishing touches on his newly clean and organized room.
All of his actions point to depression and suicidal ideation. Total plot twist and eye opener for those of us, *cough* me *cough* , who think they can pick up on suicidal cues.
*crosses finger for second season*
I know, the show did end rather nicely, but I’m attached to these characters now! There could be a whole separate story line for Alex Standall. We can assume he died, but what if he didn’t. I’m sure others will be affected by his act. I just want more okay?!
I wonder, what did you think of it all? Were you not surprised he shot himself? I’d love to hear about it!
Riverdale goes on for years, like 6 seasons or so. And every single season we are met with more and more beronica scenes and the tension between them builds and builds.
Then it’s the season finale. All the unsolved mysteries are solved. But something still seems missing. The closing scene we are met with Betty and Veronica sitting on a hilltop watching the stars. Veronica speaks first.
“Betty Cooper, after all this time I have never been able to shake the thought of you. Of us. I’ve tried distractions, but you always come back to the center of my attention. I love you Betty Cooper. I always have and I always will.”
Then Betty is taken aback by shock. She takes a second to recollect her thoughts.
“Veronica, after all this time I’ve done the same. I’ve tried distractions but my mind comes full circle back to you.” They share a kiss, just like how their friendship started. There is a flashback montage to nearly every moment that Betty looked at Veronica with those eyes and every moment Veronica smiled at something Betty did. Then we are met with a message, from the writers. That’s says
“There we fuckin made them canon get off our fuckin back”
And then roll the credits.
BTS Reaction to Their GF Hiding a Hickey With a Choker
I didn’t really understand what you meant in your request so I went with what I imagined! Sorry if it wasn’t what you wanted. ~Admin JHoe
He would know exactly why you were wearing your lace choker since he knew you hated necklaces, especially chokers.
“Why hide it Y/N? Are you embarrassed of me?”
“I had work today! People don’t need to find out about us…this way.”
“But it shows how much we love each other.”
Interrupting you, he would lift you up and kiss you.
“Don’t give me another one!”
“Why are you wearing that choker? It doesn’t match,” Suga would complain.
“I have to wear it, thanks to you.”
“Ooh…sorry baby. I don’t mind them though.”
“I know. Jungkook made fun of it though.”
Suga laughed. He would smile his gummy smile at you, thinking of the time you two spent together for the last few weeks and how much he was going to miss it while away on tour.
“I love you Y/N.”
“I love you too Min Yoongi. No more hickeys though.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll only leave a few more…”
J-Hope would watch you keep readjusting your choker.
“Why are you avoiding eye contact?” he would ask.
“Y/N. Come here.”
You hesitated so he walked over to you in two swift steps and pulled you onto his lap. He stared into your eyes, making you squirm. He would lean in, distracting you from his hand moving towards your choker.
“Wow. I left some pretty decent ones there.”
“I tried to put makeup on them but-”
“Don’t hide them! They’re pretty!”
Before you could argue, he pulled you in for a kiss.
“Let’s go somewhere more private Y/N.”
“Namjoon, what’s for dinner?”
“Some restaurant probably. You know I can’t…whoa.”
Rap Monster would turn around, his gaze falling straight to your lace choker.
“Are we celebrating something?”
“What’s with the choker?”
You scratched your neck awkwardly. Namjoon let out a laugh.
“Shh! Jimin can hear us.”
Rap Monster slowly took off your choker, revealing the marks he left the night before.
“Forget going out, we’re staying in tonight.”
Jimin finally woke up and walked out to where you were sitting. You had on a blue lacy choker.
For most of the day, Jimin wouldn’t notice the choker. He would go about doing his normal routine. After a long day of practice, he came back exhausted. You were already in your pajamas. You were taking the choker off just as he came in.
“Y/N! Your neck!”
“Um…yeah? That’s why I was wearing a choker.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
“It’s fine! It’s just a few. I don’t mind.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes Jimin. I’m fine.”
He would pull you close to him and cuddle with you for a bit. He would stare at the marks on your neck, suddenly feeling the urge to make more.
“I love you Y/N.” He would say this before kissing you, moving on to making out and leaving more hickeys.
“I’m gonna regret this tomorrow,” you said in between kisses.
V would love the choker, despite it being the way you hid your hickeys.
“Ah, you look so gorgeous Y/N.”
He would stare at you nonstop. You felt a bit uncomfortable, so you took off the choker against V’s protests.
“Wow. I did that…”
“Yes Tae, you did. Now I have to pay for it.”
He would pout at you which would make you feel bad.
“Sorry Tae. You know I love you.”
You would put on the choker again since the rest of the boys entered the room. V would smirk at you occasionally which Suga and J-Hope would be suspicious of. Later, you and V would sneak off to his room.
“I want to see them again,” V insisted, wanting to see your hickeys for the millionth time. You sighed and took off your choker once again. V’s eyes wandered for a moment. He snatched the choker out of your hands and ran to the bed. You groaned and purposefully taunted V, moving your neck back and forth.
“Come here Y/N.”
You acted like you didn’t hear him.
“I said come here!”
He ran over and picked you up, tossing you onto the bed as you laughed at his struggle.
“You’re gonna be sorry for that Y/N.”
“I already am.”
Jungkook would be hanging out with Jimin, J-Hope, and V when you walked in. You had on a black choker, one of Jungkook’s favorites.
“It’s Y/N!” Jungkook would shout, running over and hugging you. As he did, your choker shifted so some of your hickeys were visible.
“Ahahahaaha!” J-Hope started cracking up.
Assuming he was being his usual crazy self, you and Jungkook just rolled your eyes.
“Love the choker.” Jungkook winked at you.
“Yeah. Is it hiding something?” J-Hope cackled.
That’s when Jungkook pieced it together. He pulled the choker up higher so it covered more of the hickeys. As J-Hope told Jimin, they both started laughing. Jungkook would whack them playfully.
“Ai! We’re your hyungs,” Jimin would shout. You stood there awkwardly, making sure the choker stayed in place.
“Let’s go Y/N.” Jungkook led you to his room. “Let me see.”
You lowered the choker to reveal a line of hickeys. Jungkook smirked, remembering that night.
“Don’t flatter yourself. You can do better.”
“Wanna bet on that?”
You laughed at Jungkook’s cockiness.
“Alright Y/N. You asked for it.”
The rest of the night was full of make out sessions and more hickeys. You managed to give Jungkook even more hickeys than you had. He would definitely get his revenge after the members teased him the next day,
After two months of constantly trying to get in contact with Harry, Y/N thought this was his way of saying goodbye. As Y/N was placing pictures of her and Harry into a box, she laughed to herself. Only for a break, he said. This is a way to bring us closer together again. You sighed and put the box filled with memories of Harry down onto your desk. After accepting defeat that Harry was going his own way and pursuing his dreams, Y/N thought it was best to move on as well. She stopped talking to his family. Anne and Gemma were sweet after Harry left on tour. Constantly checking up on her and seeing if they could help her in any way possible. Anne even stopped by her apartment and brought her homemade brownies that Y/N loved so much. Y/N felt guilty for cutting them out of her life but she felt like it wasn’t fair to keep talking to them. She didn’t want them to feel as if they had to walk around egg shells around her. She also didn’t want them to judge Harry for what happened between them. She would never want that. And to be honest with herself, she felt as though if she remained in contact with them, it wasn’t fair for Harry. It was his family. No matter how much they treated you like you were a part of it.
You plopped down onto your bed and placed your arms on top of your eyes. All of a sudden your phone started to ring next to you. “Hello?”
“Y/N! How you holding up?” Your best friend, Lucy, was by your side 24/7 during the whole ordeal. She agreed with you when you said the break was a stupid thing for Harry to suggest. She agreed with you when you were constantly calling Harry a dick for avoiding all of your calls (She even left a couple voicemails to him making sure he knew how much of an ass he was). She even agreed with you when you said moving on from him was going to be the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do. You were together for years. You can’t just forget about the good times you’ve had together. It was going to be hard, but not impossible, she would tell you.
“Hey Luce. I’m fine, yeah.” you sighed into the phone.
Lucy could tell you were exhausted. It was an exhausting thing to do; trying to reach out to someone, constantly being rejected, having to pack his things, having to accept that you were no matter part of something that you would thought was going to last forever. “I’m not going to suggest going out again, promise. Just thought you might want some girl time. Clear your head for a little while.”
You sat up slowly and bit your lip while looking at the box filled with Harry memorabilia across the room. “Actually…Let’s do it. That sounds perfect right now. I just have to drop something off first..”
Harry finally had a little break during his tour. Normally he would just stay in LA rather than going back to cold, rainy London but he couldn’t bring himself to stay at that house.
Harry cheated on you in that house. Wait. Is it cheating? he thought. Technically you guys were on break. Harry tried telling himself that but it didn’t stop his guilt flooding in his heart.
Currently Harry was sitting in a cab driving him back to his London apartment. He was scared being back home. How silly he thought. How silly of a grown man to be scared of the city. He was scared because he knew that being back home meant having to face you. He was the one that suggested a break but he would’ve never thought it would progress this long. He also knew how wrong it was to not communicate with you during the break. Especially because your calls and texts were nothing but loving to him.
I miss you more and more each day.
I watched a video of you performing Kiwi in LA. You were so good, baby!
I hope you’re not forgetting to take your vitamins, you silly boy.
Harry wanted to say something. He wanted to call you on the first night of his tour. He wanted to tell you how nervous he was. He wanted you to assure him he was amazing and that everything he did people were going to love but he couldn’t bring himself to dial your phone number.
He couldn’t do anything but just read your texts and ignore them simply because he was a coward.
That’s why he slept with that random woman. Because he was a coward. Instead of facing his problems, he added to the fire. After the woman left his house the next morning, Harry sobbed while holding a pillow against his chest. He pretended it was you and whispered how sorry he was for kissing someone that wasn’t you.
The cab halted to a stop in front of Harry’s apartment building. Harry sighed and thanked the man before hurrying inside.
You set the box on top of the counter. “Hey Gale. How are you today?” You softly smiled while looking at the doorman in front of you.
Gale looked up at you, “Doing alright. What can I do for you, Y/N?” Constantly being at Harry’s apartment, the people in charge of the building started taking a liking to you.
“Just need to drop some things off at Harry’s place. Mind if I head on up?” You asked while glancing inside the box.
“Sure. But looks like he’s coming in right now. Go on up with him” Gale smiled and looked behind you at the front entrance.
You instantly froze. What the hell was he doing back? Was it the 15th already? You knew that he had a break during the tour but you didn’t think he would come back home. Crap. Did he see me yet? Maybe I can just go hide behind the-
You closed your eyes and cursed at yourself for not having the ability to turn invisible.
You turned around slowly and avoided eye contact with the man that broke your heart a million times these past two months, “I dropped off your things.”
You quickly started to walk away but was stopped when Harry grabbed your arm softly. “Love, wait please. I haven’t seen you properly in two months. Let me explain-”
This time you scoffed. Suddenly something in your brain shifted. Instead of feeling sad and blaming yourself for what happened between you and Harry, you were furious. You harshly pulled your arm away and jabbed your finger into his chest, “How dare you. You don’t talk to me for months and waltz in like nothing’s wrong. Go to hell, Harry.” You quickly turned back around and stormed off.
Harry quickly dropped his duffel bag he was carrying and ran in front of you. “Love, please-”
“Stop calling me that!” You yelled while walking away.
“Y/N stop!” Harry screamed while grabbing you yet again. “Please just hear me out!”
“What! What could you possibly say!” Y/N screamed back at him while trying to pry his hands off her.
Harry started to notice people stopping to see who was yelling in the middle of the lobby. “Please..Please just come up to my place. Please, let’s just talk.”
Y/N looked around and began to notice the stares as well. You sighed. Might as well end it officially tonight and get your stuff back. "Fine.“ You shook Harry off and began walking to the elevators.
Harry quickly picked up his bag and the box you left on the front desk and followed you.
The elevator ride up was filled with silence. Harry was thinking of what he could possibly say to make things alright with you guys while you were thinking of how exhausted you were.
I need a drink the both of of you thought.
What felt like a lifetime for you and the shortest two minutes to Harry, the elevator finally stopped at Harry’s floor.
You crossed your arms and stepped out while Harry rubbed his sweaty palms on his pants and stepped out as well.
Harry pulled out his keys and shakily tried unlocking the door. Wondering what was taking him so long to open the door, you then noticed how much he was shaking and placed your hands on top of his. "Let me..” you mumbled quietly. Harry nodded quickly and gave you the key. You unlocked the door and stepped inside his apartment. Slowly you walked over to his couch and sat down, looking down at your fingers.
Harry shut the door and walked in front of you. He stopped and stared at you. This was the first time in two months that he’s seen you. You had your hair in a ponytail and weren’t wearing any makeup. God, you looked so beautiful. Harry knelt down in front of you and placed his finger on your chin so you would look at him, properly. “I missed you so much, beautiful.”
You stared into his eyes, the anger quickly fading and the sadness you felt for the past two months came rushing back. “Please don’t say that.”
Harry sat next to you and grabbed your hands, “No. I mean it. I’m so sorry, lovely.”
You looked down at your fingers that were now intertwined with his. “If you missed me as much as you said you did..Why did you leave so suddenly. Why did you leave things the way you did.”
Harry sighed out, “I was scared that I would say something that would make things harder than they already were. We were already fighting so much and when we agreed to the break, we were already so vulnerable. I was scared, love.”
“I was scared too! But I still tried to make things somewhat better! I reached out to you! I made the effort! You didn’t!” You argued while tears brimmed your eyes. “I know! I just didn’t know what to do!” Harry could never come up with an excuse for his behavior. You did make an effort in the relationship but he never did. He let the negative thoughts conquer his mind and that got in the way of your relationship.
The both of you stayed silent. It was confusing. Y/N thought it was the end of the two of you but somehow, sitting next to him with his hands intertwined with yours, you didn’t want things to end.
Suddenly Harry whispered, “I slept with someone.”
You quickly looked at him and pulled your hand away. Harry visibly winced, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, love!”
“What? Is that..Is that why you wouldn’t speak to me? You were afraid I would find out?” You whispered.
“Yes..No..Yes.” Harry argued with himself, “We were already in a bad place when I left for tour and that just made it harder..”
“Harry, I-“ You began but Harry interrupted you, “Love, I will never forgive myself. I ruined our relationship in the worst way I possibly could but please..please don’t give up on me. I’ll make it up to you everyday. I’ll cancel my tour. Move in with me. Please, I’ll make it up to you.”
Y/N shook her head. Right from the beginning, she knew that when they were taking a break from their relationship, she knew something like this would happen.
“It’s best if we broke up.” You whispered.
Harry shook his head quickly and constantly. “No. No. We’re going to get past this. But no. We can’t break up. We’re getting married. love. We’re going to be with each other for the rest of our lives. We can’t do that if we’re broken up!” Harry knew he was sounding like a maniac but when it came to you, he was insanely in love with you. He made a mistake but you guys will be able to get over it. You guys were the couple everyone admired. Everyone was envious of your relationship. If you guys couldn’t make things work, what does that say about love?
“We’ve been apart for months. Even before the break..we were constantly fighting. The simplest things, we fought about. You just sleeping with someone else..It just shows that maybe we really aren’t meant to be..” You sighed. You climbed onto Harry’s lap and looked into his eyes, “Maybe the fire blew out a long time ago. We were going to end sooner or later.” Harry stared into your eyes that were filled with nothing but tears and hurt. “I refuse to believe that. We’re meant for each other.”
This time Y/N shook her head. “I’ll always love you, Harry. But I’m exhausted. I’m exhausted with the fighting and not to mention you’re still on tour. And..after this, I couldn’t even imagine myself for forgiving you for sleeping with some random girl.”
Harry buried his face into the crook of your neck. He was exhausted as well. He was tired of the fights and the accusations. But he didn’t want things to end. He knew in his heart that you guys were meant to be together. But he couldn’t let the relationship if you couldn’t forgive you. He knew that whenever he looks into your eyes, he’s just going to remember the mistake that he made. Every time he’s going to look into your eyes, he’s going to remember how heartbroken they looked when he confessed his mistake. “Okay..”
You pulled Harry closer together to you. This was the last time you would be able to hold him like this. This was goodbye.
and that’s it! thank you guys again so much for reading! honestly the feedback on part 2 was so amazing that i just couldn’t wait to write part 3! let me know what you guys think! and remember, requests are always open!
Jamie sat with the book open on the round table, colourful post-it notes sticking out at every angle. He took a huge bite of his sandwich, and talked around the mouthful to his sister, Jenny.
“So that’s normal, then? The back pain?”
Jenny wiped her mouth before answering. “The baby is growing. Her centre of gravity is shifting. She’s also under stress, what with her hours and such, but yes, back pain is perfectly normal.” She smiled at her brother as he delved back into her copy of What to Expect When You’re Expecting. Such a numpty. “Ye worry too much, brother.”
He grunted, and flipped the page.
“And the spotting? ‘Tis still normal?”
Jenny stilled. Spotting? At five and half months? She took a sip of her water trying to moisten her suddenly dry throat, and kept her voice as neutral as possible. “Well, how often is it?”
“No’ verra often at all,” Jamie said, “It’s only I noticed it when I did the laundry at the weekend, ken.”
Jenny breathed again. “Aye, well for some women it’s the way their pregnancies go. As long as Claire tells her doctor. She’s on her feet too damn much at the hospital.”
Jamie made a Scottish noise deep in his throat.
Jenny went silent. Her sister-in-law was deep into her residency, and doing well. Still, she hadn’t been to Lallybroch for a Sunday supper in three weeks. Jenny missed her company, but more than that she just wanted to give Claire a day of rest. Jamie had come alone, and seemed fine with it so Jenny was trying hard not to judge. His noise reminded her to keep her opinions to herself. He would be nothing but supportive, which was how these lunches began. Seeking advice, he’d taken to bringing lunch to his sister’s office, and asking her question after question. At first Jenny found it annoying, so she dug up her old dog-eared copy of her pregnancy ‘bible’ with its notes in the margins, and handed it to him. When he came back the next week with take away fish and chips, and the post-it note pages she decided to embrace what would become a ritual.
Jamie closed the book, and began to clean up their mess. He threw away their trash, grabbed the book, and kissed his sister on the top of her head. “Thank ye, Janet. Love you.” He headed back to his office.
Jenny called after his retreating form, “Love you, too.” And keep an eye on that wife of yours, brother.
Claire’s bump grew, slowly at first. A barely discernible curve to her belly. Around the fourth month Jamie was amazed at her suddenly changing silhouette. And now, towards the end of her fifth month, he loved to rest his hands on the side of her belly and feel the wean squirm and shift in her womb. It’s how he ended every day, and if he was honest, it was the best part of his day.
Most days Claire got home from the hospital tired. Jamie would send her to the shower while he finished getting dinner ready, but tonight she came in full of energy.
Jamie met her at the door to help her off with her coat. Claire kissed her husband hello, and launched right into her news. “I wanted to tell you about an opportunity I was given today,” Claire said, dropping her backpack by the door, and shrugging out of her coat.
“Oh? What is it, Sassenach?” he said, turning towards the closet.
“I’ve been offered a chance to study in France for a couple of weeks. It’s at Hôpital des Anges, in Paris. I can do a two week rotation with two of the most renowned doctors there, Dr. Foray, and Dr. Raymond. They are amazing. Dr. Foray is Head of Diagnostic Medicine, and Dr. Raymond has an holistic approach to medicine that I find fascinating.”
Jamie smiled. “Weel, it’s flattering, to be sure. What did they say when ye turned them down?”
Claire watched Jamie hang up her coat. “I didn’t,” she said, carefully. “I didn’t turn them down, Jamie.”
Jamie turned slowly to look at his wife. He took two deep breaths.
Then two more.
She couldn’t be serious. There were dark circles under her eyes. The stress and strain of her residency was written all over her face.
Hands jammed in his pockets, Jamie cleared his throat, and said as calmly as possible, “Claire. Ye’re almost six months along. I appreciate how wonderful this chance is, but I think it’s prudent to think of yerself and the bairn first. And while I ken ye are working here, and the hours are tough, ye still come home to me. I can help take care of ye. They’ll be no such thing in Paris.”
“You won’t come?” Once it was out of her mouth, Claire realized how silly that sounded. But it was too late to take it back.
“Have I no’ a job of my own? I’m CEO of a company, Claire. It doesna run itself.” He would not point out how selfish she sounded. He would stay calm if it killed him, dammit.
Claire shifted from foot to foot. She decided to step back from this conversation for now. “Dinner smells wonderful. Do I have time for a shower?”
“Aye,” Jamie said. He turned for the kitchen, wishing to put distance between them for a bit.
Dinner was mostly a silent affair. They kept the conversation easy, light, and neutral. Jamie’s usual appetite was markedly different, while Claire just pushed her food around her plate. She managed a few bites, but only when Jamie broke through her reverie saying, “Claire. Please eat. For the bairn.” After cleaning up the kitchen, Claire announced she was heading to bed.
Jamie watched her climb the stairs, fatigue in her steps, and disappointment in the curve of her shoulders. Emotions warred inside his head.
Claire’s emotions were equally at war. She brushed her teeth, her mind in turmoil. She wanted to go to France, dammit! Two weeks was not a long time. Being a resident was so competitive, and she could use this opportunity to give herself a leg up. She left the bathroom night light on for Jamie, and climbed under the duvet. Turning off her lamp, she rolled over on to her side, and stared out their bedroom window. As tired as she was, sleep alluded her. Her thoughts twisted, turned and swirled around her head like the child inside her womb. She laid a hand on her belly hoping to calm the baby. Instead, the difficulty of the situation kicked her heart as surely as the baby kicked her side. She felt at a loss. How could Jamie possibly understand? Fraser Distillery was his legacy. It was his, served up on a platter. Even if he hadn’t wanted to join the family business, he still had all that love to support him; a safety net, so to speak. She, on the other hand, had to create her own opportunities. She had no name, no family, no history. She was plain Claire Beauchamp, and nothing more.
Claire rolled to her back, and looked over at the framed photos on his dresser. In the semi-darkness she could still make them out. Jamie with his father, and Jenny. A younger version of herself with Uncle Lamb. While he’d grown up with Lallybroch, she’d had a tent in some far-away country. They were both destined for greater things, but it was the achieving of these things that was different. Hers was an uphill climb, alone, with only her inner drive to support her. His came with a father who taught him the ropes, and family to help him succeed. Claire knew she could never say this to Jamie, though. It would hurt him. He worked hard, never used his family name for his own gain, and she respected him for that. He was an honourable man, and would be offended by her thinking. He never asked for his privileged life, and didn’t rely on it. But that didn’t negate the fact that it was still there.
She heard the dishwasher start. Heard Jamie check the door as he locked up. She heard him climb the stairs. She expected to see him enter the bedroom, but instead her ears caught the familiar sound of the window opening. He was heading out to the fire escape. It’s where he went when he was feeling too much. Whether troubled, grateful, overwhelmed, or overjoyed, Jamie sought solace on that iron platform.
“Babies are supposed to bring people together, not separate them,” she whispered to the empty pillow beside her.
He stayed out there a long time. Just when she thought she should go to him, Claire heard the window close again.
She stayed quiet as he stepped into the bathroom to brush his teeth. He turned off the light, plunging the room into darkness. She listened as he shucked his clothes and slid under the cover. His body brought a chill to the sheets.
This was their time. This was the part of the day when Jamie would place his large hand, warm and dry on her belly, and softly stroke her skin. He would grin at the baby’s movements, and say silly things to their child. Sometimes he’d speak in Gaelic, and refuse to translate for her. He would lock eyes with her, and whole conversations would pass silently between them.
He didn’t touch her.
She rolled towards him, willing to make the first move. “Jamie,” she whispered. She slid her hand along the bed until she found his hand, clenched and cold, and placed it on her bump.
She heard his breath hitch. She swallowed, hard. “I understand what you’re saying, Jamie. I do. But I really want to go. It’s not the same as what I do here. I’ll be shadowing them, watching and learning, that’s all. Just during the day. It might actually be more restful. It’s such an important opportunity.”
He was tempted to pull his hand back, but a little nudge from his child made him pause. He closed his eyes, and tried to control the tension he was feeling. It took them five years to conceive this child. One missed opportunity already on a long ago Valentine’s Day.
The only thing he’d ever wanted more than this child was Claire.
He took a minute to gather his turbulent thoughts, his hand absentmindedly rubbing circles on her bump. “I understand, too, Claire. I do. But I’ll no’ pretend I’m not worrit. I promised ye honesty, so here it is. Ye get caught up. Ye ken ye do. Ye do things sometimes without thinking them through. I’m afraid ye’ll forget yerself, and overdo.”
“Jamie, don’t worry –“ she started to say.
“No, Claire. Must I bear everyone’s weakness? Can I no’ have my own? I do not want ye to go to Paris.” He voiced his innermost fear, the fear that came to him on the fire escape. “Bad things tend to happen when we’re apart.”
“Horrocks,” she whispered.
“Aye,” he breathed back.
Claire stayed silent. Her mind twisted and turned remembering the past. Impulsively, she spoke, “Could you meet me? Take a Friday off? Come for a long weekend?”
A Dhia, she was stubborn. He didn’t want to argue anymore, so he placated her. “I’ll give it some thought.”
It was a start, she thought. She scooted closer to her husband. “I love you, Jamie.” She laid a hand on his jaw, kissing him softly.
“I love you, too, mo neighean donn,” he said, gruffly, returning her kiss. “Now, ye sleep a bit. Yer worn out.” He tucked her head against his neck, and stared out the window as darkness surrounded Edinburgh. He shifted the duvet higher around her shoulders, cocooning them both, just as the bairn was safely nestled inside his wife. He would stay like this for the next three months, if he could, protecting them with his body.
Two weeks. Not a long time.
Yet, there was one thing Jamie Fraser knew, and knew well. Trouble didn’t have a timeline. Sorrow could come on a sunny day. One moment you could show up to work, laughing with your best mate, the next scarred for life with no father, your friend an amputee.
I Feel Like I Don’t Even Know You Anymore - S.M ONE SHOT
Summary: Desperation allows new friends to corrupt your morals and places strain on your relationship with Shawn.
AU: So this is very long and I spent the whole day doing it. I also hardly edited so I’m so sorry about error, but I’ve missed writing and am busy with work and just wanted to post it without waiting. I’ve missed you all so much. I hope this was alright, bit of different content and I tried to have a more serious topic but it feels a little dumb but whatever yo
Part 1 Warnings: Angst, Mentions of past torture Summary: Sam and Dean’s younger sister caught Mary working with the BMoL and left to protect the Colt and her family. How will the Winchesters and Cas react when they see that she’s gone? Word Count: 1946 (It’s a little longer than the first part) Tags are below the cut. Let me know if you want to be added or removed from the list.
Cas walked to the library after stopping in front of Y/N’s door. She asked to be left alone so Cas respected that. He saw Sam and Dean sitting at one of the tables with drinks in their hands. “Hey, Cas.” Dean called. “Where’s Y/N?” “Her room.” He answered. “She said she wanted to be left alone.” Sam looked at the angel. “Did something happen on the way back?” “No.” Castiel lied. “She said she was tired.” “I guess we’ll see her in the morning.” Dean said. Moments later Mary walked in and sat down next to Dean. She looked around. “Where’s Y/N?” “She went to bed.” Sam informed her. “Cas said she was tired.” “Oh.” Mary whispered. “I was going to talk to her.” “You’ll have to wait until morning.” Sam laughed. “She sleeps like a rock.” Dean added. About an hour later they went their separate ways and headed to bed. The next morning Dean walked down to his sister’s room to get her up for breakfast. He knocked on the door and didn’t hear a response. He opened the door and walked in to see her bed empty. He looked around and noticed the dresser drawers were mostly empty and her weapons bag was missing from the closet. He was about to yell for Sam when he saw folded pieces of paper resting on the pillow. There was one for him, Sam, Cas, and Mary. He grabbed his letter and eased onto the edge of the bed.
I know I said I wasn’t going to be posting any original content for a little bit, but I wanted to share something that I wrote back in Feburary for the lovely @memento-scribet for Valentine’s day. Her version is a little more specific for her though. Anyways here y’all go! My first reader insert!
Jason Todd x Reader (fluff)
Jason watched you as you slept. Your hair resting softly against the pillow next to him. It was 6 AM and the light from the approaching sunrise leaked into your shared bedroom.
A smile crept onto his face, memories flooding his mind. Memories of the firsts he shared with you. His heart swelled at the mere sight of you and he couldn’t bear being away from you. He decided, today was the day.
You stirred a little in your sleep, repositioning yourself in bed. Jason moved quickly to soothe you back into a deeper slumber, placing his hand on the crown of your head. He gently ran his fingers through your hair, tracing the lines of your locks.
You relaxed next to him, letting out the softest and cutest of snores he’d ever heard. Jason breathed out a laugh and went back to bed.
When you woke up you smelled something burning. It took you a moment to register the aroma, first pausing to check the time.
When it finally registered in your half awake awareness that there was a very real possibility that your house could be burning down, you rushed downstairs.
As you quickly made your way down to the kitchen you heard voices. Two voices to be exact. Two voices belonging to the two people you loved the most in the world.
“Where’s mama daddy? Is she still sleeping?” your baby asked, sitting at the breakfast bar. Their speech characterized by the classic toddler tributes, especially the inability to pronoun Ls properly, replacing them with a gentle W sound.
Jason moved closer to yours and his child, kissing their cute little forehead before moving back in front of the stove.
“Yeah, mommy’s still sleeping,” Jason responded tending to what was cooking.
Your baby pouted in response, “I want mommy.”
Jason chuckled, their stubbornness reminded him of you, “I know you miss mommy. I miss mommy too, but let’s let her sleep more okay?”
Your baby pouted more, angry that they couldn’t see their mommy. Jason lowered the heat setting on the stove.
“Let’s let mommy sleep more okay?” Jason approached his child again asking in his baby voice, tickling them and bringing them up toward his chest for kisses.
“Okay?” Jason asked continuing to kiss your child. Sweet giggles filled the air. You watched from a far, enjoying their little moment. A smile had found permanent residence on your face as Jason continued his ‘kiss attack’ and your child continued to giggle. Jason’s deep voice contrasting the baby’s high pitched squeals.
You leaned against the wall, still smiling and wondering what wonderful deed you must have done to have been blessed with these two. As you lost your self to your wondering, a voice called back your attention.
Your eyes connected with your child’s as they called out to you from their father’s arms.
“Daddy look mama’s awake,” they pointed out, both verbally and with a little finger in your direction.
“Yeah she is, isn’t she,” Jason responded placing one last kiss on their cheek as he walked in your direction, toddler still in his arms.
“Good morning my love,” putting the baby down for a second, he leaned in to place a kiss on your lips.
You smiled in response with a soft verbal, “good morning to you too.”
“Good morning mommy!” Your child greeted you with a big smile, arms raised in a sign of wanting to be picked up and wanting a hug from mommy.
You swooped down to pick them up and were promptly greeted with kisses, cuddles, and an “I love you mama.”
After all three of you settled, the table was set and breakfast was served. What was served included heart shaped items of your favorite breakfast foods, pink lemonade, and fruit he had tried his best to present in a similar heart shape arrangement. Jason may not be the best cook, but he sure did have a handle on how to prepare the prefect breakfast and seamlessly integrate Valentine’s Day.
After breakfast and a little more playing with the baby, the three of you got ready to go to the park by the river.
From learning how to hang upside down from the monkey bars with daddy to swinging on the swings with mommy to spinning together on the merry go around, the park held a whole day’s worth of fun for the family.
After the park the three of you went down to the sides of the river to feed the ducks, where Jason was briefly chased by a few of the swans for sneezing too loudly in their direction, it must’ve been seen as a threat.
It started to get colder outside due to the increasing lack of direct sunlight, but despite the breeze the baby was sound asleep in their stroller. Before they knew it, the sun had started to set and it was time to go home.
“Hey,” Jason wrapped his arms around your waist and pressed his lips to your neck.
You’d just put your child down for a nap after a bath and some running around the house with them screaming, “mommy look I’m batman” whilst wearing the batman onesie Bruce had gifted them.
“Hey,” you responded relaxing into his warm embrace.
“I have a surprise for you. Wear something nice,” Jason whispered into your right ear before placing a warm kiss on your cheek and disappearing.
Despite feeling a little off put by the way he’d asked and where he had gone since he asked, you followed his instructions.
As you finished up getting ready, the door bell rang. You slipped on your outfit and headed to the door.
You’d expected Jason. It was Roy.
“Oh hey Roy! What are you doing here?” You asked, gently patting little Lian who was asleep in her own father’s arms.
“Jason asked me to come over. Oh, he asked me to give you this,” Roy pulled an envelope from his back pocket and handed it to you, “and watch the kid while you guys are out.”
“Oh, um. All right,” you furrowed your brow for a second before letting the two in.
After you pointed out everything he would or potentially would need, Roy wished you a good time, shooed you out of your apartment, and reminded you to read the card.
It was a simple card, pink water washed cardstock with five simple words (and one shape) hand written on it: “Meet me on the roof, ♡ Jason.”
Running your fingers over the card and Jason’s writing you made you way upstairs. As you walked you thought about your lives together, how happy he made you, and wonderful baby you’d brought into this world together. Before you knew it, you’d arrived. Wiping the tears that had welled up in your eyes, you opened the rooftop door.
What you saw took your breath away. Jason set up the perfect date up on that rooftop. Everything you’d ever liked in dates since the two of you started seeing eachother, from the flowers, to the table, to the decorations. Everything was everything you’d dreamt.
Jason even served your favorite foods, a list complied through the years from dates large and small.
After the food, the two of you found yourself cuddling and talking on the stand alone porch swing that had always been up there, which Jason had surrounded with candles, over looking the city wrapped in blanket.
Jason watched you recount the swan ordeal from earlier. As the smile on your face widened and laughed escaped your lips, Jason’s heart beat faster and faster. He knew it was now or never.
“Hey babe, can I ask you something?”
“Yeah, sure. What?” you responded.
Jason sucked in a breath and moved off the swing.
You looked at him with a confused expression. You had expected him to ask how he’d gotten so lucky; it was always what he followed with.
As Jason moved, getting down on one knee, it registered.
“Will you marry me?”
Your answer was instantaneous. You sprung towards him, capturing him into the tightest of hugs, happy tears racing down your cheeks.
“I’ll take that as a yes then?” Jason chuckled as you cried and nodded.
Hey I just saw on instagram a ferret biting a human to drag them to her babies. Do ferret bites hurt? Or is it a nibble?
OMG that sounds so cute. ^_^ I don’t think I’ve seen that specific video, but I’ve seen other instances of ferrets “stealing” people. This type of thing doesn’t hurt because the ferret is really biting “around” you in order to transport you, rather than trying to bite through skin.
I really wish we had more words to describe “bites” in these types of circumstances, because I really don’t consider them to be bites at all. If you watch the “kissing booth/biting booth” gifs from my side blog, that was a real bite, and it was just about on the verge of hurting. (I have a fairly high tolerance for animal bites, though. Someone unfamiliar with ferrets probably would have freaked out at that.) It didn’t break the skin, but the ferret was definitely grinding down and putting in a good effort. ^_^ I find it pretty rare for well-socialized American-bred ferrets to bite and break skin, or to even bite and have it really hurt. (rare, but not unheard of.) I saw it more with, like, the fur farm rescues we got at the ferret shelter because they were neither socialized nor bred for temperament. Parrot bites are worse, haha.
The bites I get from my own ferrets are more like nibbles. Miss Rudy is the type of ferret who bites for communication, and almost every time she bites (again, I don’t really consider them to be bites in the literal sense), it’s because she wants attention.
Here’s a video still of Miss Rudy “biting” me.
But if you watch her in action:
What she actually does is “grab” my finger with her mouth, push my hand over, and then shove her head into my hand because she wanted me to give her head rubs. (Miss Rudy LOVES head rubs!) She does this kind of thing fairly often.
Ferrets, like many animals, use their mouths as their primary tool, so a lot of their bites aren’t a show of aggression and aren’t meant to cause pain.