the monocled one

Do I ever! Pbbhtt!

Okay, this one works especially well if they have, like, eyeglasses or something. You ready? Here goes:

“Hey, what’s your prescription for glasses? Because you sure can’t see how much I adore you!”

See? See? I’m a pickup-line queen!  It’s great, too, cause you can make it work for contacts, or shades, or those little one-eyed monocle doohickeys!

By the way, who’re you trying to flirt with, anyway?  Are they cute?  Do they actually have glasses?  Laser eyes???  How about—

…Mabel, sweetie, please stop encouraging this.

~Mabel

and

–Stan