the moment when my mom and I both started to cry

Beautiful

You stared at yourself in the mirror, your gaze momentarily flickering to the door you’d locked before turning back to yourself. The shower had long since been forgotten as you gazed at your bare figure in the mirror of the skeleton brother’s bathroom. Back at your old apartment, you’d given away all but one of your mirrors, and seeing yourself on display was making you feel sick.

You could barely handle looking down at yourself when you were changing, let alone being forced to see your entire body in the hyper-lighting of the skele bros bathroom.

You wanted to look away, but you were having trouble doing so. Your eyes hadn’t seen your full body in so long, not even last night, when you’d been bare in Sans’ bedroom. Now, however, it was nearly impossible not to stare.

You pinched at you bare hips, glaring at the sum of flesh gathered there with a surge of discontent. Your eyes trailed over your form reluctantly, taking in every little imperfection without a trace of forgiveness.

Your gaze lingered on your thighs, and the faint stretch marks there which you’d gotten during puberty. Your mom had pointed them out at the lunch table recently, when you’d worn your favorite pair of shorts. They’d mostly faded from the ugly red they’d been when you were younger, but standing in the bathroom in nothing but your undergarments, they stood out like snow in july.

You glanced away, feeling your eyes begin to sting.

Next in your analysis of yourself where your hips and stomach, both of which you nearly always hid behind an oversized sweater or hoodie. There was too much flesh, there, despite your best efforts to cut down.

You bit your lip.

You remembered the time your sister had put away half the food on your plate when you were twelve. When you had asked why, she’d shrugged with a less than discreet glance at your figure. Or when your mom had informed you that you couldn’t wear your favorite shirt because it showed off too much skin, and who wanted to see that?

You’d stopped eating for a week, after that.

Your arms were not as toned as you would like. Your baby fat had never quite left your face, and your smile showed off the gap in your teeth your braces had never quite been able to fix.

Your entire life people had stared at you without ever seeing. All they saw was how you looked, and how much skin you were showing, how much makeup you were wearing, how tall you were, how much you weighed, and how you dressed. Some of it was good, and some of it was bad, but you never failed to overlook the bad. How could you, when someone was constantly at your ear telling you how little you measured up?

You’ll never look as pretty as they are.

Your own mother thinks you’re ugly, and she’s your mom.

Disgusting.

Who would want that?

You hugged your arms over your chest as your eyes finally settled on your face, only to realize with a start that you were crying.

“whatcha doin’, sweetheart?”

You cursed violently at the sound of Sans’ voice right at your ear, and you stumbled backwards away from him as you clutched at your chest. He wasn’t supposed to be home yet.

“shit, kid, sorry. i, uh, didn’t mean to scare ya,” Sans quickly backpedaled, holding up his hands in front of him like a shield. You didn’t even care, however, wiping at your eyes furiously as you tried to hide the fact you’d been crying. Your face burned with shame as you shrunk in on yourself, trying to hide as much flesh as your would with your arms. It wasn’t as if Sans hadn’t seen you undressed before or anything, but you just weren’t in the mood to expose yourself at the moment. He’d just stare, and you were so sick of people looking at you and only seeing your body.

“Maybe knock next time, Sans?” you managed after a moment, meaning your words to be light and humorous. However, your voice cracked besides yourself, which was something that did not go by Sans unnoticed. He froze, finally taking in the tears on your face and the way you were curled in on yourself.

“hey, you okay, sweetheart?”
“Yeah, I’m alright.”

You were lying, and Sans was not an idiot. His shit-eating grin slid off his face.

“shit, kid, i’m sorry, it was just a joke.i didn’t mean ta upset you,” He stammered. You’d never responded to his scares like that. “i, uh, saw your clothes outside, and, um, thought you might be showering and would maybe want a little compa….”

You stared sharply at your toes, refusing to let the tears fall from your tratious eyes. You didn’t trust your voice anymore.

There was a pause.

“sweetheart?”

You glanced up at him with a convincing smile. “Hey, it’s okay! I’m fine, I told you.” Your eyes glimmered, and your dimples gnawed at your cheek as you laughed it off.

Except that’s not what you did.

What you did was start sobbing.

Sans was on you in an instant, his sockets wide and his hands flying over you as he checked for any harm that had come to you to procure such an abrupt spurt of tears.

“shit, kid, what is it? are you- did something happen? are you hurt? did anyone- what happened? are you okay?”

You shook your head, hugging your knees to your chest. Sans cursed under his breath.

“did someone hurt you?”

You shook your head yet again, shuddering as your fingers clutched at your eyes. You didn’t want him to see you crying. You didn’t want him to see you at all.

“did i hurt you?”

“No,” you managed, burying your face in your arms.

“what happened, then? c’mon, sweetheart, talk to me.”

“It’s stupid,” you replied shortly, pulling your hand away from his grip. He was firm, however, and kept you still.

“you’re fucking crying, that’s not stupid. you’re crying and i don’t know why, and that’s not stupid.”

“I’m crying because- because I’m sick of being me, okay?” You suddenly burst through your tears, your voice coming out a little garbled from the emotion clogging your lungs. Sans seemed momentarily taken aback, and you couldn’t seem to stop yourself now that you’d started. “I’m so sick of looking at myself in the mirror and seeing someone I hate looking back. I hate people looking at me and only seeing how I look. I hate my thighs, and my skin, and my neck, and my cheeks, and the stupid bags under my eyes. I hate my smile, and my boobs, and my stomach. I fucking hate it, Sans, i-”

You cut yourself off with a broken sob, hiding your face in your arms as you curled in on yourself a little tighter. Wet, hot tears streaked down your face and burned at your eyes.

It was just too much.

The next thing you knew Sans was wrapping his arms around you, hugging you so tight all the breath was knocked out of your lungs. You tensed for a moment, before throwing your arms around Sans yourself and burying your face into the crook of his vertebrae.

He rocked you back and forth in his arms, holding you tighter and tighter as he whispered assurances and genuine murmurs of comfort into your ears. He told you how much he loved you, and how perfect you were. He told you how much he cared about you, and how lucky he thought he was you’d ever even looked at him. He ran his fingers through your hair and told you that you meant the world to him. He looked you in the eyes and kissed away your tears with so much reverence and sheer love you felt as though you might cry again, and you were anything but a whimp. On the contrary, you were one of (if not the) strongest people Sans had ever met, which he informed you firmly. He’d never once thought you were anything less than perfect, and anyone who dared to think otherwise was either blind or an idiot. You were incredible. He loved every single inch of you, and wouldn’t trade you for all the naps in the world.

He didn’t bring it up again, after that. He just gave you one of his shirts and pulled you into bed, where he turned on your favorite TV show and ran his fingers through your hair. He’d always been a decently affectionate person, but ever since then he’d begun to express it more and more often.

You certainly didn’t feel perfect right away, but that was alright. You figured even if you didn’t love yourself, Sans had more than enough love for you to cover for it.




Here’s the combination of several asks, all of which I have been wanting to answer for a while. 

You guys are beautiful, okay? Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I used to have a lot of body image issues (mostly because of things family members had said to me) and it had gotten to the point where I had stopped eating because of it. Don’t do that, guys. Don’t let people make you feel like you’re anything less then incredible. What do they matter, anyways? You shouldn’t be judged because of how you look, whether it be good or bad. So what if your nose isn’t straight? It’s still the most damn adorable thing in the world. So what if your face is round? You’re still fabulous. So what if you’re short? You can give better hugs! 

You’re beautiful.

And pretty fucking amazing, if you ask me.

Nightmare

Felicity quietly got out of the bed, putting on a robe that was draped over the back of a chair. She looked at Oliver; he was asleep and looked peaceful. There were times not too long ago when his dreams had tortured him. In Ivy Town, and then at the Loft, he would come awake, chased out of his nightmares with a scream on his lips and sweat glistening on his body. Felicity tried to be there for him, but even when they were together (before) Oliver’s dreams were always something he had to endure alone. What he went through on the island and Hong Kong and in Russia was something Felicity knew she could not sooth away with comforting and assuring words.

She moved away from the bed and crossed over to the bathroom. The bedroom was a dark shade with small pools of cold moonlight shining a path for Felicity to follow.

Earlier in the evening, she and Oliver and William had their first official dinner together—Oliver made lobster tortellini and garlic bread. The meal felt a little awkward at first, as if they were all strangers trying to figure each other out. Felicity couldn’t help feeling it was her presence at the dinner table that made the setting uncomfortable.  Both Oliver and William seemed to be focused on the tortellini, taking quiet bites, keeping their mouths full so they wouldn’t have to make small talk with her.

In the six months since coming back from Lian Yu, Felicity tried to give Oliver the time and space he needed to not only settle in with William at the new apartment they shared, but also to establish the dynamic of being a father and a son. It has been difficult on both of them.

But it was equally hard on Felicity as well. She wanted to take her and Oliver’s relationship to the  next level. Ever since they were trapped underneath the Bunker, she finally understood why Oliver had kept vital parts of himself from her; most importantly, William. In Chase’s attempt to bury Oliver deeper into his darkness, the outcome of that maneuver backfired. It brought Oliver back to her and her to him, in a way neither of them could have foreseen. Felicity didn’t need Chase’s influence to remind her that she still and always would love Oliver.

When Samantha died, passing the parental torch onto Oliver, it shifted the relationship between Oliver and Felicity. To her relief, this new responsibility in Oliver’s life did not dredge up any of the old ghosts that used to haunt him—and her.  It was the opposite. It gave her a new and better sense of the kind of person he is; as a father, a Mayor, a hero—as well as a friend, a partner, a lover, and quite possibly someday, a husband.

Felicity entered the bathroom and was about to close the door and do her business, when  a cry came out of the darkness.

It was William. She turned and headed back into the bedroom. She was startled but not surprised by the shape of Oliver standing naked next to his side of the bed. His eyes were wide open as he responded to his son’s cry. He pulled on his sweatpants and started to go to William.

“Oliver,” Felicity interrupted his trajectory. “Let me do this.”

Oliver didn’t seem to hear her request and continued moving toward the door. Then he stopped himself and turned to look at Felicity.  “Do you…are you okay with…wouldn’t that confuse things more, for him and for you?”

“Oliver, it was your idea to have me over tonight. If I’m going to be a part…well, a part of all this, I should start earning my keep.” She saw some of the tension easing up in his shoulders.

Oliver smiled at her. “Okay Felicity, but this isn’t a job interview. You don’t have to earn anything. You are a part of this family—forever and always.”

“Thank you Oliver.” She put out a hand as if to forestall his expected response. “And you don’t have to tell me I don’t have to thank you. I’m thanking you.”

Oliver nodded. “You’re welcome. But maybe I should be thanking you.”

“What for?”

“For agreeing to this tonight. For going past you uncertainty and nervousness with William. I know how hard this has been for you.”

Felicity was about to respond by moving into Oliver’s arms when William called out again. She passed by Oliver and hurried to the door. Oliver fell in behind her and she turned back to look at him.

“Felicity,” he told her. “You got this, but I’m going as your back-up.”

**

Felicity slid open William’s bedroom door and went inside. Oliver hovered outside, ready to assist  her if needed. She could see her path to William’s bed by the nightlight Oliver put in the room. William was sitting up against the bed’s headboard. Fear was shining in the boy’s eyes, glistening with the tears his nightmare brought. When Felicity came into the room, William looked up and surprise crowded into his leaking eyes.

“William…” Felicity started to say.

“Where’s Oliver,” he asked her? “He usually comes in to…”

Felicity shook her head as she moved closer to the bed; then she sat down on it. “William…” Then she stopped herself. What should she say to him? Maybe she was right when she told Oliver it  might not be the right time for this. Uncertainty started to fill her intentions.

William kept staring at her as if he was waiting for her to give him all the answers.  As usual, his nightmare was about his mom. When Oliver told him she was dead, William did not believe him. He tried to run back into the smoldering forest, wanting to find her and prove that Oliver was wrong. But Oliver (his dad?) stopped him, taking William into a fumbling hug. William began screaming at him to let him go, struggling in Oliver’s grasp. But Oliver would not let him go. It was at that moment when Oliver became the “bad man” in his nightmares.

“William,” Felicity spoke with a tenderness the boy probably hadn’t felt since his mother tucked him in every night. “Please tell me what your dream was about.”

William suddenly made an unconscious connection through his fright. “You love Oliver, don’t you?”

“William…yes, I do.”

“You’re not  my mom,” William told her. “My mom is dead. And Oliver killed her.”

“William, you know that’s not true…I mean the Oliver killing you mom part. But he is your father. And you’re right—I’m not your mom.”

William shook his head. “He did kill her. She’s dead because of him.”

Felicity almost broke then. But another kind of force took hold of her instead—one of protectiveness for Oliver, and for William. She took a couple deep breaths and pressed on. “William, you dad’s mom died too, just like your mother. She was killed by another bad man, right in front of him.”

The look of accusation appeared to dim a bit when Felicity told him that. “Really,” he asked? “What…how…”

Felicity decided not to hold back. “She was stabbed with a sword.”

William’s eyes widened. “Wow,” he whispered. “Who…”

“William, it doesn’t matter now. It was four years ago and Oliver…your dad, he was really sad, like you are now.”

Fresh tears began to roll down his face. “Felicity…why did my mom have to die?”

Felicity felt her own tears start to fall. She reached out to hug William; he let her. He began to sob against her, a boy who wanted his mother back.

“William,” Felicity cried with him. “It’s alright. It’s okay to cry for your mother.”

He clutched onto her and six months of fear and sadness and loneliness poured out of him.

After a time, William pulled away from Felicity. He sat back and a different look was in his eyes now. “Felicity, did Oliver…did my dad cry too when his mom was killed?”

Felicity nodded. “Yes…in his own way, he cried.”

“Are you… are you staying with us tonight?

“Yes William, I am. Is that okay?”

William nodded. “Yeah, I guess so.” He looked more closely at her. “Does my dad—does he love you too?”

Felicity smiled. “Yeah, I think he does.”

“Good,”  William responded. “Felicity, do you like baseball?”

Her smile widened. “I guess so. Why?”

“Well, there’s a game on tomorrow and Oliver said he would come home early and watch it with me. Do you want to watch it with us?”

**

Outside his son’s room, Oliver was smiling through his own tears. To hear his son open up to Felicity was…well, it was magic. Oliver felt blessed that Felicity was able to touch the purest part of him.

@it-was-a-red-heeler @almondblossomme @quiveringbunny @memcjo @mortallock @casydee @flowerandsunshine @1106angel @dmichellewrites @scu11y22

procraesthetics  asked:

I wonder what would happen if Dudley grew up in the wizarding world but still as a muggle? like kind of reverse AU where his parents are dead and he has to go to Lily for whatever reason? do you think he would become bitter like Petunia about magic?

Lily remembered her sister, how there had been a time she was curious and delighted about magic, before it slowly sank in that she could look and not touch.

The last thing Petunia had said to Lily before she died was a chilly goodbye, ending a holiday dinner where they’d had a shrieking row in the entryway. Petunia had said freak and Lily had hissed better than this, better than this being my whole fucking world, Tune, do you even see yourself, are you happy–

And now here was Dudley Vernon Dursley fussing himself to sleep as Lily walked the halls of the Godric’s Hollow house. His tiny soft hands with their tiny soft fingernails curled under her chin, the same way Harry always had.

She passed James, who was gently bouncing his way up the hall the opposite way. “I think he’s asleep,” James mouthed over Harry’s tousled head. His hair was the same mess, bent down to peer at his sleeping son.

Lily stopped where she stood, her nephew heavy on her chest, her husband smiling, her sister buried. “James,” she said. “How are we going to do this?”

“Oh,” he said. “Hey. Don’t you cry, you’ll start them off– unless you need to cry, I mean, you go ahead, hey, sweetheart, hey, it’s alright, you just let it out.” He stepped forward, shifting Harry gently to his other shoulder, and pressed his forehead to hers. “We tuck them in, okay, that’s what we do next. Then we go to our own bed, okay, and go to sleep, and when we wake up it’ll be a new day.”

“A new day,” she said. “Another day– James, that’s the– I’m so tired.”

“So let’s sleep. It’ll look better in the morning,” he said. “And if it doesn’t look better this morning, it’ll look better in the next one.”

“You promise?”

“Better than that. I’ll show you. Every day,” he said and kissed her cold forehead.

Dudley had not shown up on the Potters’ doorstep with the milk bottles. Lily had gotten a phone call from the landline she still had installed in Godric’s Hollow, about an accident, and she had gone down to the Muggle police station to identify the bodies.

The cupboard under the stairs was filled with spiders, broomsticks, and the sewing machine Lily’s mother had given her when she married James– that’s all. Dudley slept downstairs. Uncle Remus taught Dudley and Harry to knock out coded messages through the wall their rooms shared.

In the backyard, beside a rickety porch and an ambitious hedge, James taught them to fly– first on little tot brooms where their toes brushed the grass the whole time, then out of the barrels of practice brooms James used for lessons and coaching Little League Quidditch.

When the boys turned ten, five weeks apart, they both got shiny new Nimbuses on Dudley’s birthday (which came first), and a set of enchanted Quidditch balls on Harry’s, to share. The Bludgers were enchanted to be very kind but Dudley spent long afternoons whacking them far afield while Harry chased the Snitch at his back.

Harry had a scar on his forehead, like a jagged bit of lightning. Dudley had no scars– the car crash that had killed his parents hadn’t touched him where he sat strapped into a car seat in the back, chewing on a stuffed dinosaur toy.

Lily did not believe in lying to the children. She was bare years off being a child herself, and spare moments on the far side of a war. When Dudley asked about his parents, she told him there had been an accident. She pulled pictures off the shelf and wrote Petunia’s old university friends for more.

Photographs came by mailman, the images still and unnatural to Dudley’s eye. Every day he’d gone out to play, for years, he’d been waving at the picture near the back door of his aunt and uncle on their wedding day, and they waved back every time.

“She was very clever,” Lily said. “Your mom liked to know everything.”

“And my dad?”

“Vernon liked… cars?” James offered. “That’s the word, right, Lily?”

“I didn’t know him very well,” Lily said. “He liked drills, I think; he worked for a firm that made them, and he talked about that a lot.”

Dudley brushed his thumbs over the dull edges of the photos. When Lily went off to Auror headquarters the next morning for work, James bundled the boys up and took them on an impromptu invisible tour of Grunnings Drill Manufacturing Inc.

They tiptoed down halls and past water coolers and ringing fellytones. They held hands under the Cloak as they dodged around the machines on the manufacturing floor, thumping and pounding and whirring away loudly enough that Harry and Dudley could whisper to each other under the noise. An elevator took them all the way up to the top floor. Harry whistled cheerily and eerily along with the elevator music while the Muggles slowly edged toward the doors and pressed floor buttons lower than they’d originally wanted.

There were boxes and cabinets and folders and desks and staticky monitor screens full of numbers strewn in endless grids. “Merlin’s knuckles,” said Harry, who was seven and a half and rather proud of this expletive. “People can look at this all day, their whole lives, and not die?”

“Work is hard work,” said James.

“At least mum gets to curse things.”

“But my dad liked it?” Dudley said, peering at a white board that was bleeding enthusiastic marker. “There’s a lot of things, here. Maybe he liked knowing things, too.”

When the boys asked about the scar on Harry’s forehead, Lily and James looked at each other. “You know how sometimes we sit with Uncle Remus and talk about a war?” James said. “Or with Ms. Amelia or Mr. Mundungus.”

“Mr. Mundungus is kinda smelly,” Harry said helpfully.

“It’s not nice to say so though,” said James, and Lily made a face.

“Are we raising them to be nice?” Lily said.

“I’m trying,” said James.

“You talk about a war,” said Harry and shrugged. Dudley nodded.

“There was a very bad man, in those days,” said James.

“Voldemort,” said Lily, and James made a face.

“He was so scary a lot of people don’t like to say his name, even now,” said James. “And he was coming after us because we had been fighting against him, in the war. He came to the house and he tried to hurt you, Harry. But it didn’t work. It hurt him instead, and gave you that scar.”

“Is he going to come back?” said Dudley, who was paler than his normal pink.

“No one’s heard of him since then,” said Lily.

“Where were you?” said Harry, because all his life they had been right there.

“Oh,” said Lily, but her throat closed up.

“We were at Dudley’s mum and dad’s funeral,” said James. “Our friend– our friend Sirius was watching you two. The bad man, he came to the house. He. Well. I.”

“Sirius died,” said Lily, one hand squeezing James’s knee and the other reaching down to brush hair off Dudley’s forehead. “You lived, Harry, and Voldemort vanished. And that’s why sometimes people stare in the streets, baby.” James tweaked Harry’s collar absently.

Two days after they had buried Lily’s sister, the Potters had stood together in the first chills of November and buried James’s brother.

Sirius had been burned off the Black family tree years before. Lily and James had talked to his cousin Andromeda, to Remus, and then they had laid him to rest in the Potter family plot. At the wake, they’d told old jokes about squirrel breath, shedding, and man’s best friend. Remus had fallen asleep on their couch and stayed for a month.

It took a two hour row with HR for Lily to get two passes to the Ministry’s Bring Your Kid To Work Day.

“He’s a Muggle.”

“He’s not,” Lily snapped. “He’s family.”

She had to get permission, sign a million forms, and she also had to take the boys in early so that Dudley could get smothered in the spells that would keep the Anti-Muggle wards around the Ministry from activating on him. “If a Muggle stumbles in somehow, they just see a funny-smelling supply cabinet and turn back around,” Lily told Dudley. He nodded and dragged Harry off by the wrist to go look at the fountain.

The windows were pouring sunlight into the underground room– the maintenance workers had just gotten a win on their contract negotiations and had banished the grimy rain-spattered windows of the previous weeks. The light hit the falling water, the golden statues, and the small excitable crowd of Ministry dependents who were gathering in the atrium. Dudley was fishing about in the fountain for Knuts to toss back out again, elbow-deep, and Harry was laughing and coming up with weird wishes to make on them.

Lily hadn’t said son. She’d said family, and that was true enough, wasn’t it? She didn’t say son– she had a son, and she had a nephew, a ward, another child who came to her after nightmares and scraped knees. It was not less, it was just words.

Lily worried about stealing more things from Petunia. Tuney had shrieked at her, in ladies’ restrooms and suburban foyers, had hissed at her in grocery store aisles and family dinners, because Lily got everything. And now Lily had her son.

Lily could just imagine it– could just see Petunia’s face twisting and chin stabbing at the air. You could have anything, and you took my son– my son!

“You left him to me,” Lily whispered, but that wasn’t quite right. “You left,” she whispered, and that wasn’t quite right either, so she strode off toward the fountain to ask the boys if they wanted to go see the Auror spellwork ranges. Dudley’s sodden shirt sleeves dripped all over the Ministry floors. Harry’s hair fell down into his eyes and they both grinned bright enough to rival the spelled sunlight.

Keep Reading (Ao3)

Keep reading

— off limits | 01 (m)

pairing— kim seokjin x reader
genre/warnings— smut, dirty talk, dom! Jin, just dirty, dirty sex that my heart can’t take
words— 11,158

:: summary— you’ve been lusting after your brother’s best friend for a while now, ever since you met him at a house party, flirting it up a storm as you failed to realise who the other was. That was months ago now and things are still awkward, but you can’t ignore the sexual tension that’s simmers between the two of you…and it keeps getting worse…

» 01 :: 02 :: 03 :: 04 :: 05 :: 06 ::

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I think I love you - Jughead Jones

Pairing : Jughead Jones x Reader

Word count : 1,484

Warnings : none

Requests are closed!

Originally posted by juptern

Your phone rang in the pocket of your jacket making you jump by surprise. You answered the call before showing your index to your friend Archie, meaning that it would only take a minute.

“Hi, this is (y/n) speaking.”

“Hey (y/n), how are you?” You instantly recognised the groggy voice behind the line.

“Jughead! I’m good! What about you?” From the corner of your eye, you would’ve swore you saw Archie rolling his eyes.

“Marvellous. So, what are you up to this evening? I thought we maybe could’ve hung out tonight. You know, me, you, at Pop’s?” You chuckled lightly.

“Sorry Juggie, I was planning on spending the night with Archie… You can tag along if you want? I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.” A small sigh made its way into your ear. You had to admit that you spent a lot of your recent time with your new red-haired friend. Jughead still occupied the position of best friend. He didn’t have to worry about it.

“I promise we’ll do something together tomorrow, alright?” It was silence for a while before you heard back,

“Yeah sure.” You pursed your lips, mentally cursing yourself. It wasn’t the first time that you had turned down your best of friend for Archie. Lately it had been happening more than before. It made you feel like the worst pal.

“See you.” With that, Jughead hung up. You understood how he felt. It wasn’t right that you weren’t spending as much time with him.

“Jughead, wasn’t it?” You looked up and saw Archie sprawled across the black beanbag in your bedroom. His hands were attached on the new acoustic guitar his dad had got him for his birthday. You nodded and played with the sleeves of you sweater. Your friend continued strumming the strings of his instrument.

“Hey- I wrote this song last week, and I wanted to know what you thought about it. I’ve been trying to talk to Josie about her playing some of my compositions, but she’s not that into it. You’re her friend, right? Maybe you could listen to it and try to talk to her?” He asked questioningly.

“Of course, go ahead.” His fingers moved to the tuners and accorded them as his other hand rested on the waist of the guitar. A few seconds later, a pleasant melody filled the room. Archie then started singing the lyrics he had written. The song wasn’t bad at all. In fact, it was quite catchy. The redhead friend of yours had talent. Before Archie could go on, you blurted out something you soon would regret.

“I’ll probably spend the day with him tomorrow.” The small tune that Archie had started suddenly came to an end. Archie hadn’t spoken to Jughead since this summer. The tree of you and Betty we’re supposed to go on a road trip the fourth of July but Archie left you hanging at the last minute. Since then, the boys stopped talking completely. When you mentioned one of  them to the other, you saw the irritation and annoyance in their expression.

“I thought you were coming to my game tomorrow. I’m playing in the varsity football team this year, remember?” You bet your lip and fiddled your hair with your fingers.

“I’m sorry Arch. I haven’t seen Jughead in a while now and I don’t want him to feel like I stopped being his friend. I’m making a vow that I’ll show up to your next game, how about that?”

“Why does it always have to be about him? Everything constantly has to be about Jughead.” Your were caught off guard by the sudden raise in his voice.

“That’s not it… I’m just trying to do what’s best here.”

“By ditching me at the last minute, that’s how your making things better? I didn’t think of you as an inconsiderate and selfish person.” He replied bitterly. In all the time of you guy’s friendship, you had never seen this side of Archie. Usually, he would be sweet and just shrug off any problem that faced his way. But the words he had just told you, they hurt your heart. Your eyes were starting to fill up with tears and your bottom lip started quivering.

“I’ve spent all my time with you for the last month. You. Not Jughead. Why are you treating me like this?”

“You know what? I don’t want to spend any more of my time with you right now.” With that, Archie got up and left you alone in your room. Without even noticing, a trail of tears had made its way down your cheeks. A sob escaped your mouth and your hands covered your face as you poured your heart out. You laid in your bed and continued crying.

It was all your fault. Archie now hated you and would probably never talk to you again. Why did you had to be so stupid? If only you had kept your mouth shut. Maybe he still would have been on that beanbag, singing.

Maybe half an hour later, you heard the wooden creek of your door meaning that someone was coming in. You didn’t even move, your pillow pressed against your face. The mattress shifted to the side from the sudden weight that it now had on it. You felt a piece of your hair being put behind your ear. You smiled at the sweet gesture and assumed it was your mother. You slowly got up and saw Jughead sitting beside you. Automatically, you vaulted in his arms tearing up once again.

“Sssh. It’s going to be okay.” He rubbed your back comfortingly. Your forehead was against his chest, his two upper limbs protectively holding you. Your eyes were probably red from all the crying but you couldn’t care less. You continued sobbing in his chest until you eventually felt calmer.

“Why- Why are you here?” You asked with a small voice. Jughead gently whipped your cheek with his thumb.

“Your mom saw Archie leave in a rush and realized that you two probably had a fight. She heard you crying and thought that you would be more willing to speak about it with me than her.” You grinned at the boy.

“I ruined your shirt.” You noticed, and felt guilty.

“Nothing to worry about (y/n/n). I never liked that jersey anyway.” You giggle with your best friend. You sniffed and observed Jughead who his face was only about a foot away from you. You had to admit that he was good looking. His prefect blue eyes were mesmerising and his pink lips appeared so kissable. Forever you considered the boy as nothing more than a platonic relationship to you. Never had you ever felt anything for him. But in that moment, something clicked. Jughead wasn’t only a friend to you, not even a best friend.  A stronger feeling overwhelmed your body. You felt love. You loved Jughead Jones. 

He was the one who your mother called when you were sad. He was the one who came rushing to your house as soon as your mother hung up. He was the one who was holding you and comforting you, whispering sweet nothing to you as you were crying. He was the one who was there for you.

“Jughead.” He raised his eyebrows at you.

“(y/n)?” You asked yourself in your mind if it was the right time to confess your feelings towards him. Your breathing started quickening as the anxiety rose in your core.

“I think I-” He watched you with intending eyes, indicating to continue your phrase.

“I think I love you.” Jughead eyeballed you, astonished at your revelation. He quietly answered, almost inaudible for you to hear.

“I think I love you too.” He leaned towards you and slowly pressed his lips to yours. Fireworks were going off in your stomach. The heaviness on your shoulders disappeared. In this moment, nothing else mattered in the world. Both of your lips moved in sync as you played with his raven locks. His arms pulled you closer to him, leaving no space between you two. Jughead backed away and kissed every each of your face, including your cheeks, temple and chin.

“You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” He whispered in your ear. You gave him a last long peck on the lips before saying,

“Do you want to lay down and cuddle with me?” He moved his head up and down calmly and took a blanket that was already on the bed to cover you. Cuddling was not something new for the both of you. You had always cuddled together, and whenever. His hand ran through your hair bringing a comforting and fuzzy feeling. His body pressed behind your back and his hot breath was tingling your neck. Before you even knew it, you and Jughead had fallen in a deep slumber, both dreaming about each other.

*gif is not mine!!

A Definitely Incomplete List Of My Favorite Moments From The Lightning Thief (book), because I'm having Feelings
  • Percy very causally mentioning times he accidentally hit a school bus with a canon or dropped fifth graders into shark-infested water
  • Grover Underwood
  • Just everything he’s ever done
  • Percy running an illegal candy ring out of his dorm room 
  • “I was worried they found out I got my essay on Tom Sawyer from the internet and were going to take away my grade. Or worse, they were going to make me read the book.”
  • When Percy thought Grover was going to give him some deep, meaningful commentary on life to make him feel better but Grover just wanted Percy’s lunch
  • Percy tried so hard to do well on his Latin final and Chiron somehow thinks it’s a good idea to tell him he’s ‘not normal’ in front of the class my poor boy
  • That one part where Percy essentially went “Oh hey mom’s home!!! Better reschedule this panic attack I was having!!” 
  • When Percy did that weird hand sign (that was never explained) and the door slammed on Gabe so hard he flew up the steps
  • The fact that when Grover finally tracked Percy down he wasn’t wearing any pants. Like, there was literally no reason for him to not have the fake feet and the jeans on. No actual reason for him to be free balling it. Percy just needed a shock apparently. Showing up in the middle of a hurricane with no pants, dramatic ass satyr I love him. 
  • The SATISFYING DEATH of Gabe’s Camaro + Sally apparently learned bullfighting just in case because she truly is the best mom
  • Percy killing the minotaur with its own horn
  • Percy dragging Grover over the camp line while crying for his mom literally end me
  • You drool when you sleep.” could we get more iconic here
  • Percy teasing Annabeth about her crush on Luke
  • When Luke stole some toiletries for Percy and he got a little choked up because it was apparently the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him
  • The fact that Chiron basically told Annabeth that Percy was her destiny
  • The fact that a recovering alcoholic god of wine who hates children was deemed fit to run a camp for children
  • Not so fun: Percy, upon meeting Mr. D, immediately recognizing the signs of an alcoholic and going out of his way to sit far away from him ‘just in case’
  • The fact that everyone just expected him to hear ‘the greek gods are real’ and move on?? why would no one let this boy be in shock omg
  • Zeus apparently had a thing for the fluffy 80′s hairstyles
  • “the real world is where the monsters are” 
  • The fact that Poseidon could have claimed Percy at literally any moment but he apparently decided he really needed that dramatic reveal during capture the flag.
  • When Zeus was feeling Extra Dramatic™ after Percy’s claiming so he started making it rain inside the camp boarders and everyone was lowkey freaking out
  • When Annabeth pulls off her invisible cap and declares she’s going on the quest with him and Percy was like, beyond unsurprised that she was there and didn’t even attempt to fight her 
  • Chiron forgot to give Percy a sword from his father for like, an entire month. 
  • Grover with those freaking flying shoes oh my God
  • Annabeth blushing literally any time Luke talks to her 
  • IN THIS HOUSE WE LOVE AND RESPECT ARGUS, HEAD OF CAMP SECURITY
  • lmao when Percy and Annabeth start bickering about something and Argus just winks at Percy because he knows
  • When they were playing hackey sack with an apple but it got too close to Grover’s mouth and he just ate the whole thing
  • The entire bus scene oh my God
  • “I was about to become the ADHD Poster Child of the Year” as he’s CRASHING A BUS
  • Annabeth on a fury’s back 
  • the explosion. just. all gr8. 
  • When Grover tries to play a path finder song and Percy just immediately slams into a tree. Also the fact that the path finder song was actually just a Hillary Duff number. 
  • “You two are giving me a migraine, and satyr’s don’t even get migraines!” 
  • Percy actually, truly trying to sell the story that the three of them are circus orphans who got separated from their ringleader 
  • Grover: hey guys this place is REALLY SHADY and we need to leave
  • Annabeth and Percy: but f o o d
  • Can you imagine walking into a store and finding your dead uncle’s body on display? Like????
  • When Medusa revealed herself and Annabeth’s running around invisible, Percy’s swinging a sword blindly and Grover’s flying around screaming and trying to whack her with a stick: everyone here is a MESS
  • When Annabeth was overly annoyed with Percy after that ordeal??? Sweetheart you fell for the trick too
  • Name something more iconic than 12 year old Percy Jackson mailing the decapitated head of Medusa to the gods on Mt. Olympus in an act of sheer pettiness. I dare you. 
  • When Percy was insisting on taking first watch while the others slept and Grover was basically like “hey kiddo listen to this” and played a song that immediately knocked him out so he could sleep all night 
  • “Percy. Say hello to the poodle.”
  • Percy seeing all the Greek creatures from the train window 
  • When Annabeth was dragging the boys to the St. Louis Arch and Percy’s claustrophobic ass Did Not Want To Get In That Tiny Elevator but he went anyway because he wanted Annabeth to be happy. That boy has had it bad since the start. 
  • “I am Echidna!”
  • “Isn’t…isn’t that a type of anteater?”
  • I HATE AUSTRALIA.” 
  • How many times has Percy actually been poisoned throughout all the series I literally want a count 
  • ‘Lemme just, uh….jump off the fucking St. Louis Arch and hope I don’t die when I hit the water.’
  • There is just something very aesthetic about Percy lighting a fire in the bottom of a river 
  • Percy’s got so much pent-up rage that he’s just immediately ready to wreck Ares upon meeting him omfg
  • THE THRILL RIDE O’ LOVE
  • Annabeth getting so worked up and flustered over going down there with Percy because it’s a love ride and Percy’s just like “you literally do not have to make this a Thing” lmao
  • Annabeth wouldn’t let Percy touch Aphrodite’s scarf because she didn’t want him getting infected by love magic but then…touched it herself lol
  • The entire sequence with the mechanical spiders and the cameras and the ride itself 
  • Percy’s plan to get off the ride!!!! He’s so smart okay can people stop calling him stupid!!! 
  • Grover trying to catch them both in mid-air but they‘re too heavy so the three of them just kind of slowly crash into one of those face-cut-out posters lol
  • Percy, turning to the camera’s broadcasting this shit on Olympus: “Show’s over! Thank You! Goodnight!” 
  • THE FUCKING ZOO BUS
  • Everything about that scene omg. The animals they had to help. Trying to convince Grover of how great he is. The baby percabeth. my h e a r t
  • “What if it does line up like the Trojan War? Athena versus Poseidon?”
  • “I don’t know what my mom will do. I just know I’ll be fighting next to you.”
  • “Why?”
  • “Because you’re my friend, Seaweed Brain, any more stupid questions?”
  • Do you hear that sound? That’s me, ages 13-21(+) sobbing uncontrollably oh my God I love them so much
  • ‘let’s just set a fucking lion loose in Las Vegas’ 
  • “I put a Blessing of the Wild on them, so they’ll safely find food and shelter wherever they go.”
  • “Why can’t you put on of those on us?”
  • “It only works on wild animals.”
  • “So it would only effect Percy…”
  • “HEY!” 
  • When they get to the Lotus hotel and Grover starts playing that game where the deer shoot the hunters azxjhnhdjx
  • Percy physically having to drag his friends out of there once he realized it was the lair of the lotus eaters
  • When Annabeth gave the taxi driver her lotus credit card and he started calling her “Your Highness” lmao
  • Every time in this book Percy comes close to uncovering a Dark Truth the people around him are just like “let’s not worry about that :) “ and my polite boy actually shuts up it’s so wild because I would just keep going lol
  • CRUSTY THE WATER BED SALESMAN 
  • Listen that entire scene has lowkey always been one of my Favs and I’m not even sure why but Percy chopping his head off was g r e a t
  • The entrance to the Underworld is DOA Recording Studios and I love it
  • “We, uh…all drowned in a bathtub.”
  • Poor Charon just wants his Italian suits he doesn’t need all this bullshit 
  • Grover almost getting dragged into Tartarus: not good. very bad. bad shit. 
  • Annabeth getting emotionally attached to Cerberus in the span of 3 minutes: RELATABLE 
  • ‘huh my backpack that I thought I got rid of five days ago is getting weirdly heavy, that’s not suspicious though, right?’ 
  • When Hades just starts monologue-ing about all the shit he has to put up with
  • “what kind of awful things do you have to do to get sewn into Hades underwear?” p e r c y
  • when Percy realizes the Master Bolt is in his backpack and he’s just like. tell me why. why. I’m a good person. what did I DO. 
  • When Percy has to sacrifice his mom to get Annabeth and Grover out of there I Cri Evey Tiem 
  • My cute lil’ baby yelling around on a beach to get Ares to show up 
  • ahdbsjznx when Grover gives Percy a crushed, half eaten tin can for good like and Percy is just like “Grover…I don’t know what to say.” I LOVE HIM
  • My sweet son kicking the god of war’s ass. bless. blessed on this day. 
  • The news crews who suddenly started backtracking and writing Percy as a hero 
  • Percy, choking back tears, giving Gabe’s store’s phone number out on national television and promising everyone free appliances IM STILL CACKLING I LOVE THIS BOY SO MUCH HE’S ICONIC 
  • Hades actually releasing Sally because he’s Not As Big Of A Dick As He Could Have Been 
  • Percy: hey I think there’s a really good chance that Kronos was behind this whole mess-
  • Zeus and Poseidon: XXX KRONOS DO NOT INTERACT XXX
  • Poseidon rolling his eyes at literally everything Zeus says and does
  • Poseidon and Percy’s whole talk omg my sweet boy just wants his dad to love him and Poseidon’s trying to figure out how to show affection when he basically signed this kid’s death sentence I’m crying 
  • A man will never satisfy me as much or in the same way as Sally Jackson murdering Gabe Ugliano did 
  • Percy was spending months of summer stressing over who the friend that’s supposed to betray him was but like…Sweetie you had exactly three (3) friends and you knew two of them weren’t gonna hurt you
  • ahbdjsnx when Percy and Luke were having their conversation in the woods and like Luke’s acting shady af the whole time but it’s literally not until he litters that Percy is like “something…is Wrong.” this boy I s2g
  • Percy getting bit by a scorpion is Not A Favorite Moment but the nymphs helping him out was 
  • Percy making his Official Decision to go home for the school year only after Annabeth reveals that he actually did talk her into trying again with her family 
  • I didn’t mean to write out a summary of the whole damn book it’s six am listen I’m just feeling nostalgia for the original series in this chili’s tonight 
  • whoops
Cat Got Your Tongue Pt. 1 (M)

Word Count: 5,463

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Genre: catboy!tae, comedy, fluff, eventual smut

Summary: When your boyfriend cheats on you you’re left heartbroken and lost all hope in relationships. Santa says you’ll find love soon, but what do you do when you’re beloved cat turns into a beautiful grown man?

Keep reading

Bruised (Richie/Eddie) 5/12

Summary: It’s 1993 and the summer from many years ago is dead and gone. Many have drifted apart from the Losers club and its at the point where there is no club at all. The atmosphere is cold just like the winter months and the only blushes to be found are the ones that are caused from the piercing spikes of cold that heat skin up. Being a teenage boy is hard; especially for the two boys that now count each other as strangers. In which both boys make a plan, but both disrupt each others.

Warning(s):  Fluff & Angst

A/N: A scene is lowkey inspired by the perks of a wallflower in this chapter sksk enjoy you little cuties !! sorryforthewait

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 (Soon) | 

Richie pulled over, smirking as he watched Eddie’s confusion grow.

“You stopped here?”

“Yep, now get out.” Richie hummed, before climbing out of the truck doorway- grabbing his keys and standing to his feet.

Eddie was confused, his head tilted as he climbed out and looked at his surroundings. What stood before him was a tall abandoned carpark building surrounded in intertwining railings, the strands of thin grass below standing tall and knee length to Eddie.

“This is an abandoned building.”

“Well done, captain K.” Richie spoke with sarcasm, hands in his pockets, “This is my hideout.”

Eddie stepped forward next to Richie, glancing at the wired railings that stood before them both. “So, how do you get into the hideout?”

Richie hummed yet again, walking along the side of the metal, his fingers trailing against each curve. His eyes fixated on a small gap that he used to climb through when he was younger. “I’m presuming you’re not a climber, right Eds?”

“I am not climbing that thing, no way.” Eddie folded his arms, “There should just be an entrance-”

Keep reading

been reading a lot of klance fics lately so i thought i’d share it w you guys!! here’s 14 of them and definitely my favorites. comes with the title (duh), description, a review by yours truly, and link to the fic. the writers of said fics also have some gorg other masterpieces so be sure to check those out!

1. ) Smile for the Stars by maIikcutie

description

Though he’s been dealt many bad cards, Lance isn’t sure he can handle this one: winding up stranded, a million lightyears away from home, with only Keith to keep him company.
The universe is cruel.

review

amazing a+++ fic but i strongly advise not to read this unless you are willing to live the rest of your life broken hearted and Sad. i promise ur heart will be wrecked but in the best way possible!!! a buncha artists on tumblr made art for this so be sure to check those out & also there’s a epilogue-ish thing for this that dulls the pain a lil less and its called The Stars Smile Back in case yall were interested

2. ) Dirty Laundry by Gibslythe

description:

“Two whole months of free laundry in exchange for two weeks of being my fake boyfriend. Deal?”
Keith hesitated for a moment. Was this really worth it? Hardly. Lance was an asshole, and he wasn’t sure what fake dating would entail. But, free laundry was free laundry, right?
“Alright, it’s a deal.”
Or: Lance makes the mistake of telling his Mom he has a boyfriend coming home with him for Christmas. Keith makes the mistake of agreeing to be Lance’s ‘fake boyfriend’.

review:

if u love slow burn then BOY ur gonna love this !!!! mama lance is so warm i luv her !!! fake dating aka one of my fav tropes so 11/10 and i just rly love this ok im in tears

3. ) call me, beep me by safra

description:

(00:31) Do you think she gave me the wrong number on purpose?
(00:31) Or was it a genuine mistake?
(00:32) Like maybe she writes funny and I misread it?
(00:32) Some of the numbers do look a little dodgy…
(00:33) Cause, you know, her threes couldvery easily be poorly formed eights? And maybe she writes her sevens like her ones?
(00:45) What
(00:46) The
(00:46) Fuck??
(00:47) Oh good, you are awake!
where lance messages the wrong number and things kind of snowball from there

review:

i love through-chat fics therefore i am so in love with this!!!!!! your everyday "wrong number” trope but so so so much better!!! cute and happy

4. ) Seasons by fairietailed

description: 

“Do you think we’ll be together, still, by the time we make it home?”
Lance is quiet for a moment, thinking. Then he says, “That depends. Do you plan on going somewhere?”
Keith laughs, threading his fingers through Lance’s hair.
“No, I suppose I don’t.”

review:

their relationship is just SO PURE AND SOFT and so well written i’m in luuuv but the open ending will shatter and will most likely rip u apart

5. )  Don’t Break Connection, Baby by princedeadend

description:

Keith works part-time as a phone sex operator and receives a prank call from Lance. This does not go as planned for Lance. Thus begins the adventure of our dear sweet idiot continuing to call Keith to fuck with him (but not like fuck fuck with him…at least not yet). And y'know, eventually having legit conversations with him and getting attached and growing on Keith.
aka the phone sex operator fic no one asked for

review:

this is soooooooooo cute and adorable and wow i luv ittttt!!! made me smile so hard it hurts

6. ) He Who Fights Monsters by magisterpavus

description:

In a world where monstrous dragons terrorize humanity daily, the Garrison trains valiant Knights to slay the evil beasts and defend Earth. But when Knight cadet Lance Espinosa is kidnapped by a strange red dragon who kills its own kind, certain truths are revealed…and so are the true monsters.

review:

oh my god the buildup may be slow but i promise it’s worth it like everything just falls perfectly into place !!! and its so adorable and creative and just wow not ur usual klance fanfic and that just makes it 1000x better and also,,, dragons !!

7. ) Bonding Time by magisterpavus

description:

“Shiro, I fucked up,” Keith blurted, wringing his hands.
Shiro paused mid-punch, shooting him a quizzical look. “What? What happened?”
“I think,” Keith whispered, “I think I accidentally roofied Lance. With my dick.”

review:

galra keith will always and forever be my fav au so this is a definite fav for me !!! i love the other 3 sequels it comes w too!! and nsfw content too dont even lie ik u guys are thirsty for that

8 .) Just Static by Jessadilla

description:

–Static—-
-iro, Hunk, Kei—, nybody? I’m—-
-static–
–I’m sorry guys. This is all my–
–static–cc–
—I found my coordinates. They’re–
-stttcc-
-guys. I hear something—
–scccc-
-end transmission-
Alone on a hostile planet, transmissions aren’t getting through. How did it come to this?

review:

this fic got me sad and crying in the middle of the night )’: wont leave u too sad tho the ending is pretty nice

9. ) What a Healing Pod Can’t Repair by Remember_Me

description:

The compromised wormhole was ripping apart at the seams, sending everyone spiraling away in completely different directions. Lance could feel himself being pulled and bent in ways he was definitely not supposed to be.

Stitching the team back together after everyone is separated is difficult, and for one Paladin rescue wouldn’t be coming for a very long time.

review:

no words. literally no words. this was so painful and just wow the buildup will shatter u i swear )’: also poor bb lance i sob. comes with cool-looking art which makes it a whole lot better

10. ) Seen: 5:29 by SpeedOfSins

description:

AU where Keith is some important guy who has a business suit, and lance is a good housewife. (tha ts a lie, i honestly dont have a summary but this fic hurts, i have been told by at least 3 people)
Written in text format

review:

will wreck u, beware!! may be short but enough to bring u to tears honestly

11. ) On Thin Ice by Minadora

description:

Once upon a time, two Canadian nerds decided to start a figure skating au about their two space sons and their wonderful misfit friends. Ten pages of headcanons later we finally put electronic pen to electronic paper and created this monstrosity. This multi-chapter fic chronicles the lives of a hockey player named Keith who gets forcibly enlisted into figure skating lessons by his brother, Shiro, to “work on his footwork”. There he meets a pompous - yet talented - figure skater named Lance and gets swept away by both the sport and the skater.
Enjoy the ride because it’s only just started.

review:

the description says it all !!!!! a fic beloved by the vld fandom and gosh whats not to love honestly???? also the whole gang is so happy !!! (sidenote: this is unfinished and its killing me)

12. ) I bet you look good on the dancefloor by xShieru

description:

“So like in 'Step Up’?” Allura shrugs. “Now that you put it like that - yes. I guess it’s just like in 'Step Up’.” The smile that she sends Shiro’s way - followed by a shy wave, eugh - is sickening to say the least, and Lance still doesn’t believe in dance camps.
-
Lance McClain’s dancing career begins and ends with Keith.
Keith just wants to find out what Lance’s deal is.

review:

if u love step up ur gonna LOVE this !!!! i love it so so so so much can i just say and wow keith is so hot ffs

13. ) thunderstruck by xShieru

description:

Lance doesn’t pine for anyone ever, Keith’s never been to a dance, Hunk tries his best to be supportive, Shiro is very done, and Pidge steals a car.But hey, it could’ve been worse.

review:

space prom!!!!!!! and cute pining gays!! whats not to love about that?

14. ) In English, Please

description:

Lance thinks he can get away with flirting with Keith if it’s in Spanish. Lance thinks if he says the words angrily enough no one will catch on to the ruse. Lance thinks his secret crush is safe. Lance, my friends, is very…very wrong.

review:

two words - too. cute. i can’t even with this fic

little tattoos part iii

hello!

this is part three of my reddie soulmate fic

read part one here and two here

thank you guys so much for all the love on this fic. Please read my notes on the bottom as they are important! ty!

summary: a soulmate au where everyone has a tattoo exactly like their soulmate

pairing: eddie and richie

words:  2233



Eddie woke up even more exhausted than he was when he fell asleep. He let a breath out of his mouth and took in a long one through his nose. He kept his eyes shut. He wasn’t ready to face the world yet.

Everything he loved was gone, he suddenly realized. This thought jolted him awake, causing him to sit straight up in a panic. It hadn’t occurred to him that he lost everything yesterday. All of his friends were bound to know. They all hung out together. They were the Loser’s Club and Eddie had ruined that. They could never all hang out anymore as Eddie couldn’t bear to be in the same room as Richie, let alone even think about him. He started to really panic, then.

His breathing was rapid and shallow and his hands were shaking violently. Eddie got up, stumbling, trying to find his damned inhaler. It wasn’t in his pocket, nor his backpack, or on his desk. He couldn’t breathe. At this point, he didn’t know if it was even an asthma attack anymore, or if it was one in the first place. It was so much worse. His head was spinning and he couldn’t see anymore. It was in his jacket, he remembered suddenly.

Eddie collapsed on the ground, catching himself with his hands as he tried to steady his breathing, but nothing was working. His heart was racing and he couldn’t stop shaking. Eddie was sobbing uncontrollably, his vision blurred from the tears. He didn’t know what was happening. His lungs felt constricted and he couldn’t get any air in. He was hyperventilating, trying to breathe but couldn’t. He tried to move towards his jacket that was hanging on the back of his chair. He was shaking so badly that he could barely move. His hand grasped the chair, pulling it and knocking it over. The light blue inhaler fell out of the pocket of his coat, landing a couple inches away from him. He grabbed it, instantly feeling as if he could breathe again when he took his first two puffs of medicine.

An hour passed before Eddie could stand again. HIs legs were shaky but he managed to get to his bathroom. He found it odd that his mother hadn’t come to get him yet until he realized that it was four in the morning. Eddie knew he couldn’t go to school, but he couldn’t stay home ‘sick’ as his mother would take him to the hospital. He washed his face with some water and laid back down and attempted to fall asleep.

His mother woke him up at 7 am and tried to get him to take his pills as she did every morning. He walked out of the house and rode his bike to park. Eddie read there all day. He needed to take a breather and reading was his escape. The cool breeze against his skin calmed him even more as he closed his eyes and rested his head against the tree he was sitting up against. It was odd to feel so peaceful. At three o'clock, he headed home as if he had gone to school.

“Eddie bear, how was school?” She asked from her chair in the living room.

“Fine.” He responded quietly, heading upstairs and into his room.

Eddie felt bad about lying, not going to school, but he knew he couldn’t face Richie, Bill, or anyone for that matter. He checked his cut from the previous day, and it was still healing properly. That was one less thing for him to worry about. Eddie laid back on his bed, sighing. Could his life get any worse?


“W-W-What did you d-do?” Bill demanded, slamming his Chemistry book down on the loser’s lunch table. He was beyond pissed.

   Richie looked up at Bill through his coke bottle lenses. Stan was pissed too, standing behind him with crossed arms and narrowed eyes. “I didn’t do anything!” He defended, pushing his glasses further up on his nose. “I-”

   “Where is Eddie?” Stan interjected, sliding into the seat across from Richie. “He isn’t here today and he was supposed to tell you how he felt yesterday. What the hell did you do to him, Richie?”

   Richie scoffed. “So that’s why he was avoiding me.”

   Bill looked at him confused. “W-What do you mean av-av-avoiding you?”

   Richie rolled his eyes. “You know when someone doesn’t talk to you and walks different routes in the hallways so they don’t see you. Gee, Bill, I thought you were smart.” He replied sarcastically, sticking his plastic fork into eerily yellow mashed potatoes.

   Stan leaned forward on his elbows. “So, if he avoided you, why isn’t he here?”

   Richie let out an exasperated sigh, leaning backward in his chair. “He told me in the gym locker room, alright?”

   Bill sat down next to Stan, looking at Richie to egg him on.

   Richie sighed again. “And I was too shocked to do anything and he ran out crying.”

   “Richie!”

   “Hey! I tried to go to his house and apologize and he slammed the window shut. He wouldn’t listen to me.” Richie grumbled. “I really tried! But I have a plan.”

   Stan and Bill exchanged glances. Bill nodded a little and Stan sighed. “What’s your plan?”

   Richie sat up straight. “You two need to convince him to come over. Say it’s everyone but me.”

   Bill frowned. “H-He’s not gonna b-b-believe us, Rich.”

   “Make him believe you! I need to talk to him. I need to explain.” Richie protested, running a hand through his hair.

   Bill nodded. “I’ll t-try.”

   Richie looked at Stan, who was staring down at the table. “Stan?”

   “I’m not gonna help you if all you’re gonna do is break his heart. He doesn’t deserve that, Richie.” He deadpanned.

   Richie was offended and a look of hurt flashed across his face before he composed himself. “I am not going to hurt Eddie!”

   “Sure, telling him you only wanna be his friend isn’t gonna hurt him.”

   “This is the one time I’m not being a sarcastic dipshit, Stanley! Are you listening? I said I’m not going to hurt him. I would never hurt him. I love him!” Richie slammed his fist on the table, causing a few kids to look over at them. “Did you hear that?”

   Stan nodded.

   “At least they didn’t cut off your ears like they cut off your dick.” Richie spat, getting up and walking away. The bell rang moments later. Bill grabbed his bookbag and stood up, gently nudging Stan to do the same. Richie was standing near his locker, attempting to open it but getting the combination wrong.

   “Richie-”

   “What, Stanley? What the hell do you want?” Richie practically growled, turning and glaring at Stan. If looks could kill, he would be dead ten times over.

   “I’ll help.”

   Richie’s hard stare softened a little. “Thanks. I’m sorry I got mad but you gotta admit that line was good.” A small smile crept onto his face, and even Stan chuckled a bit.

   Bill was assigned the job to get Eddie over, and Stan was to get everyone else in on the plan. He walked up to Eddie’s door and knocked. There was shuffling and a shout of “I got it” from Eddie. He opened the door and saw Bill, his face paled a little.

   “H-Hi,” Bill said quietly. “C-Could we talk?”

   Eddie glanced behind him for a moment to see if his mom had fallen back asleep or not before nodding and stepping outside, shutting the door behind him. “What do you wanna talk about because I’m not gonna talk about him.” He put emphasis on the word him. He sounded angry, disgusted, even. He laced his fingers together, still a bit shaky from his panic attack this morning.

   “N-No. The group w-wants you to come over. Minus R-R-Richie.”

   “Oh, no. I am not falling for that. He’s gonna be there when I get there and I don’t want to talk to him.”

   Bill shook his head. “Please? I-I-It’s movie night. You can p-pick.”

   Eddie glared at the ground, trying to work the request over in his head. He finally let out a long sigh and nodded. “Fine.”

   They rode their bikes to Bill’s house in silence, neither of them knowing what to say, so they said nothing. Eddie set his bike up against the house as he always did, following Bill inside. Georgie greeted the both of them with a hello and a smile.

   “H-Head to the living room, I-I-I’ll get the snacks,” Bill said, heading to the kitchen. Eddie nodded, walking towards the living room. He walked in, glancing around the room at the various decorations on the wall. Paintings and pictures of their family were scattered around the room. It felt homey.

   Eddie was jolted out of his thoughts when he heard the door shut. He turned his head to look, only to find Richie standing there. His breath hitched in his throat and he knew he had paled. It wasn’t even five seconds before he started to get angry. He knew this was a set-up.

   “I fucking knew it,” Eddie grumbled.

   “Eddie-” Richie started, but Eddie had had enough.

   “No, Richie. I don’t want to hear it. I’m really not in the mood to listen to you tell me you don’t feel the same way and that you hope we can be friends. Because we can’t be friends, Richie! I don’t want to be your friend. I can’t be your damn friend.

   Richie Tozier was silenced by Eddie for the second time that week. It was a new record. He composed himself before stepping forward. “If you let me show you something, I promise I will leave you alone.”

   Eddie was shocked that Richie was being serious. He was never serious in all the time he’s known the guy. He was always cracking inappropriate jokes at the wrong time. Despite all of his instinct to say no, Eddie nodded.

   Richie let out a sigh of relief before spitting onto his hand.

   “That is disgusting! What the hell are you-” Eddie cut himself off as he watched Richie take his spit and use it to smudge his soulmate tattoo off his skin. It wasn’t real. This whole time, Eddie thought that Richie had a soulmate. It was fake.

   Richie watched Eddie for a moment before deciding to explain himself. “My mom used to tell me I would be made fun of for not having a soulmate. That I wouldn’t fit in. So, one night I decided to draw one on every morning so I would fit in. It sounds shitty and kind of is but- Eds are you listening?”

   Eddie walked forward and grabbed Richie’s hand. He was holding back the urge to cringe, as Richie’s saliva was now on his hand. Richie didn’t understand what Eddie was doing. He let him move his finger until it was placed right next to the corresponding one on Eddie’s hand. Under Richie’s tattoo that he drew on, was a small, circular and blotchy birthmark. It was identical to Eddie’s.

   “What the fuck,” Eddie announced. A smile spread across Richie’s face while Eddie started to ramble. “What does this mean? Are these soulmate tattoos? They look like birthmarks! Why the hell would this be a soul-”

   Richie grabbed his face in his hands, leaning in and pressing his chapped lips onto Eddie’s soft ones. Eddie was stiff for a moment before he melted into the kiss and started to do the same that Richie was. Eddie was unsure where to put his hands or what to even do. Before he could react, Richie pulled away, slowly opening his eyes to find Eddie completely red.

   “I love you too, Eds.”

   Eddie had a content smile on his face. “Don’t call me that, Trashmouth.”

   “Ah, Trashmouth, what a nickname. You really know how to charm the boys.” Richie sassed, throwing his arm over Eddie’s shoulder. “Shall we tell the rest of the losers that Bill and Stan have competition?”

   Eddie and Richie showed the rest of the group their tattoos. Stan had this smug look of “I told you so” written across his face and so did Bill. They ended up watching a rom-com, much to Eddie’s dismay. Richie kept his arm around the smaller boy the whole night, pressing chaste kisses to his forehead every once and awhile.

   Richie and Eddie rode back to their houses together that night. They arrived at Eddie’s house first, both of them silent.

   “Gee, you could cut this sexual tension with a knife.” Richie joked, leaning forward on the handlebars of his bike.

   Eddie rolled his eyes, using his kickstand to stand his bike up next to his porch as he always did. Richie hopped off his bike, letting it lay on the ground. He walked up to Eddie, pinching his cheek. “So, Eddie Spaghetti, where do you wanna go on our first date of being fuckbuddies?”

   “You ruined it.” Eddie sighed, slapping his hand away.

   “I didn’t ruin anything!” Richie retorted, smiling. “I made it better.”

   “Okay, Tozier,” Eddie said, leaning forward and kissing Richie briefly.

   Richie had a smile plastered on his face. “Goodnight, Eds.”

   “Goodnight, Trashmouth,” Eddie said before he shut the door. He quietly snuck up the stairs. His mom was still asleep in her chair. He fell back on his bed, a content smile on his face.

   Eddie Kaspbrak was happy.


SO HELLO HERE ARE A FEW NOTES PLS READ TYSM

this ending is ending a. i wrote two endings because i couldnt decide which i liked better

so ending b will be posted after part four as a bonus lil chapter thingy

you can decide whichever you prefer to be canon as i love them both

also im really self concious about this part so please give me your honest feedback ilysm

let me know if you want an epilouge! i would be down to write it

masterlist

talk to me/request to be on tag list

tysm for reading

Keep reading

signs as dumb YA novel clichés

Aries: The Chosen One~ “This wasn’t how my life was supposed to go. When I turned 18, I wasn’t expecting to be thrust into the Underworld. I was gonna go to college, be a normal student and rush Sigma Phi Chiapet my sophomore year. But everything is different now. The prophecy has spoken and I’m going to go through a training montage and become really badass really quickly even though I was against being the chosen one in the first place but now I have a black belt after a month of punching bags of sand and now I’m ready to save the world. And guess what. At the end of the book…………. I save the world.”

Taurus: The “you don’t know think you’re beautiful until a boy tells you so / not like the other girls” average looking protagonist~ “Hi. My name is Tookiewisp Flowerspark. I’ve got mousy brown hair and bright brown eyes. I’m tall and thin and I don’t have boobs yet. I love to wear my worn out high top converse and skinny jeans. Maybe if I wore a dress, boys my age would notice me. But to be honest, I’m just not into girly stuff like most other girls are. You could say I’m different.”

Gemini: Crush throughout the entire novel turns out to be an asshole~ “He’d never notice a girl like me. He doesn’t even know my name!’ *sudden makeover transformation where she takes her hair out of a ponytail and takes off her glasses* Boy: ‘Wow, Winteria Snow. I never realized how pretty you were until you put on makeup and put in some contacts. Will you be my girlfriend?’”

Cancer: Instant love~ “That’s when a saw her, walking down the street. She was coming my way. Her hair blew in the wind like a majestic mane of gold. The way she walked made my heart skip a beat. I started sweating and I couldn’t stop my heart from racing. I stared at her as she walked past and I tried to say hello, but my words came out in a jumble. She gave me a weird look and walked away. It was at that moment that I knew I had fallen in love and found my soulmate. Also, by the end of this book she falls in love with me even though I basically obsessively stalk her throughout the entire novel and have no redeeming qualities.”

Leo: The Queen Bee~ “That’s Brooke Richardsworth. She’s the coolest, most popular girl in school. She’s got long, straight blonde hair and wears pink skirts, pink cardigans and pink headbands. Those are her two slightly less attractive friends, Chelsea and Paige. Brooke is also dating my crush. We used to be friends, but ever since I accidentally spilled my chocolate milk on her back in the third grade, she’s done everything she can to make my life miserable.”

Virgo: Problematic parents~ “My parents recently got divorced, so now on the weekends I hang out with my dad, and during the week I hang out with my mom. It gets pretty tiring going back and forth after a while, but every other Saturday my dad (who is also a professor at a university) takes me camping and we roast hotdogs over a campfire which really makes up for it. Recently though, he’s been hanging around a new young blonde woman named Tamara Blake. He’s been spending all of his time with her. We haven’t even gone camping since they met!”

Libra: The improbable love triangle~ “What am I going to do? I have two boys who just got into a fight at school because they both are in love with me, average annoying weird superiority complex girl. On one hand, there’s Jackson- the brooding bad boy who wears leather jackets and rides motorcycles and treats me like garbage when he’s in a grumpy mood. Then on the other hand, there’s Theodore- the quiet sensitive one who reads books and drinks tea and I always catch him watching me from behind a bookshelf in the library! This is the hardest choice I’ve ever had to make in my life. I HAVE to choose one of them. But… who?”

Scorpio: The dystopian society~ “Hi, I’m Bland McBore. In our society, the rich and the poor are divided into two groups and all the rich people are evil and live in a city where there are floating vehicles and all the buildings are white marble and/or chrome, and all the poor people live in mud huts and have to eat bugs and also everything is a weird shade of gray to represent sadness or something. I am going to start a revolution and overthrow the government with the help of my two best friends and once we start to cause trouble with our rebellion, the leader who is probably an old white guy with a pointed beard will offer us riches that we originally fought against in the beginning but don’t worry we will heroically reject them and fight for equality and won’t stop until society is no longer divided. Also people will definitely die but it will all only be people we are conveniently close to. Me and my two best friends get to live until the very end because we move the plot forward.”

Sagittarius: Protagonist just moved to a new school~ “My dad got a new job so we had to move across the country. I’m really shy and quiet and dorky so I know that my first day is going to be horrible. The teacher will make me stand up at the front of the class and then I’ll cry because I’ll be thinking about my life in my old town. Then as I sit back down at my desk, the teacher will keep on teaching instead of addressing that one of her students is visibly upset and crying. Then, the boy behind me will tap on my shoulder and introduce himself- this boy will be the guy I keep as my friend until the end of the novel where, plot twist, he ends up being my perfect match all along.”

Capricorn: The Intellectual~ “My favorite past time is to go to this tree up on a hill where my mom is buried that is also conveniently in the middle of the woods but also within a short walking distance from my house. I go there and I just think. Not of a lot of kids from school do that these days. Everyone is so obsessed with the latest gossip or the latest trend that it seems like everyone forgot how to, well, think. Sometimes I wish I was like them. I wish I could turn off my brain and mindlessly walk around without a care in the world. But I can’t because I’m different and smarter than everyone else and I also like to read and I love the smell of old books and reading and did I mention that I also love to read.”

Aquarius: Really weird “quirky” names~ “Hi, I’m Ingridagelica Applewindbalmkettlefish and this is my story. I know, I know, my name is pretty strange. My parents picked it because they said that when I was born they knew I was going to grow up and do something really great and unique and they also said that it means “not like the other girls” when spoken in Latin.” 

Pisces: The “nice guy” guy friend who turns out to be The One all along~ “I just can’t believe my crush won’t notice me! Tell me Carter, what am I doing wrong?” “Nothing, Skylightquia. If it’s worth anything, I think you’re pretty…. uh, pretty awesome, I mean.” *Skylightquia sighs and looks up at the stars from the rooftop they got onto somefuckinghow* “The stars are really beautiful, aren’t they?” *Carter looks at her meaningfully* “Yeah they are”

Bts | Reaction | A Child’s Love

[ i think i understand what you mean, if im wrong then i am incredibly sorry for being illiterate lol hope you enjoy no less :) ] 


Seokjin 

Jin was a bit confused when he came home to a quiet, and empty house. Usually when he announced his arrival, it would soon be followed by the pitter-patter of feet rushing to greet him with excitement. Calling out for his wife and child, Jin was once again given silence. Scrunching his eyebrows in concern, he took a moment to review if you had anything scheduled for today - soon concluding that you were staying home. At least, that’s what he thought. 

It didn’t take but five minutes for the front door to be opened once again, entering the two missing people he’d been thinking about since he walked in. Sighing in relief that the mystery was over, he turned toward the two of you with a smile - only for it to slowly disappear when he saw the look on your face. You were, unfortunately, giving him your best bitch face. 

“Is something wrong?” He finally voiced, the sniffling child in your arms making his heart clench. “Did something happen?” 

Slowly, you put down the child and sweetly instructed them to get ready for bed, that you would tuck them in, shortly. Nodding that they understood, they quickly ran for their room, not even giving Jin a passing glance. This only made his heart clench even more. Looking back at you for some sort of explanation, Jin’s obliviousness only pissed you off even more. 

“What is today, Seokjin?” He stayed silent, making you sigh heavily. “Why don’t you go take a look on the calendar, and then come ask me what happened.” 

With that being said, you headed for your child’s bedroom without another word, once again leaving Jin by himself. Scratching his head in even more bewilderment, Jin did as you had asked and made his way for the kitchen.

Saturday, November 18th. What was so special about that day? 

And, that’s when it hit him. Jin felt like the world’s worst dad in that very moment, when all he could do was blink at the date, dumbfounded that he forgot in the first place. He missed his child’s first soccer game. Not only was he wrong about you staying home all day, but the fact he even remembers saying to them this morning that he wouldn’t miss it for the world. He practically lied right to his child’s face. It wasn’t his fault that it slipped his mind, there was just a lot going on at the office, but Jin didn’t see that as a good excuse. 

Judging from the chocolate stains on their cheeks, he concluded that you two had just gotten back from eating victory ice cream - which could only mean that they won their game. Which could only mean Jin had a lot of apologizing to do. 

He could only hope that his child, and yourself, could forgive him. 

Yoongi 

Yoongi sat outside his daughter’s bedroom door in shame, it physically hurting him to hear her cry her eyes out, and he couldn’t do anything about it; probably because he was the cause of them in the first place. 

“Sweetheart, I am so, so very sorry. They held me in the studio longer than I anticipated, you know I would never do this to you on purpos-”

“Just leave me alone!” She immediately cut him off from his apology, her cries getting worse by the second. “I looked like a fool, I should have known you’d always put your music before me, no matter what!” 

That, to Yoongi, felt like a kick to the stomach. Never in his life did he think that his music was more important than his family, it never once crossed his mind. But, after tonight, he couldn’t possibly blame his daughter for feeling that way. That night was the annual sixth grade ‘Father-Daughter Dance’ at her school, which she was so excited for-for the past two months. Everyone’s father showed up; give you one guess on who ended up having to go home early due to embarrassment of not having their date show up. 

You practically chewed Yoongi out over the phone, saying how it took three bags of family sized m&ms to get her to calm down enough to remember to breathe. The both of you were livid, but your daughter felt neglected. And that was the last thing Yoongi ever wanted her to feel. 

“Mi Sun, that’s not true…you know that’s not true. My music can never compare to you, how happy you make me everyday, the joy that you bring. Sweetheart, daddy is so sorry that he stood you up, I’ll make it up to you somehow, I promise. But, just know that you will always mean more to me than my music, no doubt about it.” There was silence on the other side of the door, which wasn’t entirely a bad thing, it just meant she stopped crying. “Tell you what: I won’t go to the studio all week, next week. You’ll have me all to yourself, we can do whatever you want, it’ll be a little ‘Father-Daughter’ outing. What do you say, princess?” 

Yoongi waited with high hopes, ear pressed against the door as he prayed that she would at least consider his offer. It wasn’t until the sound of her door being unlocked relieved him of any thought of rejection, soon greeted with a gummy smile that matched his own. “You mean it?” 

Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his phone all the while picking up his little girl with his free arm, dialing Namjoon’s number without hesitation. Putting said person on speaker phone, he spoke. 

“Namjoon, I’m taking all of next week off. I think it’s time I gave my greatest creation of all time my full and undivided attention. Goodbye.”  

Namjoon 

Your two children practically cursed Kim Namjoon’s existence, they were so mad. Not only did he run over one of their bike’s that morning, but now he had just broken their game counsel they had gotten from their uncle Jungkook, by stepping on it by accident; they were enraged. 

He had promised them dessert after dinner to kind of set the atmosphere back into a lighter one, only for them to just eat it angrily as they continued to glare in their father’s direction. You tried so hard not to burst into a fit of laughter at Namjoon’s failed attempts to get back on their good side. Who could have thought that two seven year old boys could have a grown man begging on his knees for forgiveness? 

“Please, what do you want from me? I said I was sorry, what more do you want? I told you countless times to never leave your bikes in the driveway, or to leave your game counsel lying around - so it’s technically not all my fault!” 

They continued to be silent as they ate their desserts, their expressions never faltering. Finally letting out a small snicker, you speak. 

“I don’t think you’re helping your situation here, Joonie.” 

“I already gave them ice cream, what else do they want - my soul?” He exclaimed, losing all hope at this point. Namjoon didn’t like when his children were mad at him, it was one of the worst feelings in the world. He tried his best to be a good father and loving husband, and a small inconvenience like this just wasn’t sitting right. “I’ll buy you new bikes! And an even better game counsel, if you want, I don’t care. I will personally give you my wallet, if it’ll get you to stop-”

“Okay.” Hyun replied, while his brother nodded with enthusiasm. “And we want those diamond earrings that mom saw at the store a couple days ago, too!” 

“And a puppy!” Jae was quick to add in, finishing up the last of his ice cream. Namjoon looked at the two boys with wide eyes and mouth agape. When Hyun’s statement finally registered in his brain, Namjoon slowly started to glare at you. 

“You set this up, just so you could get those stupid earrings, didn’t you?” 

Shrugging your shoulders, an evil grin slowly started to form on your face as you get up to retrieve his wallet. “Hey, I’m not the one who asked for them, the boys did. Too late to go back on your word now, Joonie.” 

Shaking his head as you left the kitchen, Namjoon couldn’t help but chuckle as the two boys started poking at his face - back to their normal, goofy selves. 

“You two, and your mother, will be the death of me.” 

Hoseok 

He was devastated when he showed up to the school an hour late, and his little girl was no where to be seen. Hoseok frantically asked the teacher where she could’ve gone, only for him to get a look that could only be described as judgmental. What kind of father didn’t know where his own child was?

“There was a swarm of men that ran at your daughter with cameras, they chased her back into the school. She was the last student to be picked up, and they wouldn’t leave, so we called your wife. She tried your phone, Mr. Jung, but you wouldn’t answer. She is safe at home, by now.” 

A small breath of relief fell from his lips as he thanked the teacher, and apologized for the inconvenience with the paparazzi. She merely responds with ‘I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.’ She couldn’t have been more right.

As if on cue, his phone starts to vibrate in his pocket, after hours of having it shut off. Hoseok visibly winces at the sight on his lock screen: 37 text messages, followed by 52 missed calls. He was definitely screwed.

Now, he found himself parked in the driveway, mentally preparing himself on how he planned on apologizing for leaving his daughter all alone in that kind of situation. She must have been so frightened, and just thinking about it made him feel even worse. 

Once he entered the house, he becomes uneasy at the silence that he’s greeted with - it making him feel like the smallest person in the world. When he made his way into the family room, there you sat in the rocking chair he had bought, for the pregnancy with your second child. The look on your face was enough to show that you were far from being happy, but your features quickly softened when you saw how wreaked his face looked. You could tell that he had been crying out of guilt, the teddy bear he had obviously bought for your daughter confirming that as well. 

“H..How is she?” He rasps, throat tight as the guilt continued to weigh on his shoulders. You shrug slightly, before taking a deep breath. 

“Could’ve been worse, I suppose. She’s a little shaken up, but nothing physically wrong with her, thank god.” Carefully, you stand from the rocking chair, one hand resting on your bloated stomach. “Hobi…what happened, where were you? I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for the past hour.”

“I-I lost track of time, the clock in my office was an hour late. My phone had to be switched off, because I was in and out of meetings all day - I didn’t mean to forget. I-I rushed as fast as I could to the school, and when I didn’t see her, I panicked, I thought something bad had happened. And then, I had to find out from the teacher that the paparazzi went after her-why would they do that?! She’s only a little girl, they’d never go as far as ambushing a child! This is all my fault, she’s was scared and alone, I wasn’t there, and now she probably hates me!” 

“Hobi…” You tried to calm him down, the tears from earlier making their appearance once again as they cascaded down his cheeks, like a river; but he just kept going. 

“What kind of father am I? I even had to make you leave the comfort of bed-rest just so you could go pick her up, when it was my job to do so-I’m just so stupid! I don’t know what I’d do if they had laid a single hand on either one of you, it makes me sick! Doesn’t anyone understand privacy anymore? This isn’t the kind of life I wanted for you, or for our children. I want you to feel safe, and healthy and protected - I can’t even do that right!” 

“Hoseok, enough.” You raised both hands to cup either side of his face, making him focus on you. Your thumbs gently wiped away the stray tears, softly cooing at him to breathe and just to relax. “You are an amazing father, who works very hard for his family everyday. Sure, I was a little angry at how careless you were in the situation, but you’re human. You make mistakes, too. She won’t hate you, she never could, she loves her daddy far too much. Like I said, she was just a little frazzled, nothing serious. As for the paparazzi, we’ll get restraining orders - simple as that. Now, no more of this negative talk. Your princess needs her hope, her angel, to cheer her up.” 

By now, his tears had come to a stop, a small smile taking their place. Leaning forward to give you a sweet kiss, Hoseok felt so lucky to have someone like you to remind him that he was loved and appreciated. Even though deep down he still felt awful about the whole thing, it was nothing a good, long cuddle session with her brand new teddy bear couldn’t fix. 

Jimin 

I feel like Jimin would be very offended that you hadn’t brought him any treats back, sitting on the couch with an expression of pure betrayal as he watched his child munch away on yummy candies. 

“So tell me again, why you told mommy not to bring daddy anything back? Did daddy do something wrong?” The child nods their head, pouting. “He did? Mind telling me what exactly he did to make you so upset?” 

This time the toddler shook their head ‘no’, going back to stuffing their face with sweets and watching cartoons. After ten minutes of pleading for some sort of clue, Jimin finally gives up and goes to ask you what the problem is. But, unfortunately, you had no clue either. 

“They’ve just been grumpy all day, and when I offered a trip to the candy shop, that seemed to do the trick. I was going to bring you something back, but they insisted that I shouldn’t.” 

“And you listened?” He gaped. “Jagiiiii.” 

“Look, all I know is that you did something to piss off our three year old child, and I don’t exactly know how. So, you’re on your own. Think, Chim, did something happen this morning?” 

Retracing his steps on how the morning played out, Jimin couldn’t decipher anything that might have been out of the ordinary. He woke up, got dressed, came down stairs, ate breakfast - he remembers that he was running a little late for work, so he had to skip on the goodbye kis-

“Ohhhhh.” Jimin finally connected to the problem, giggling at how trivial this whole thing turned out to be. “I know what the deal is.” 

Without even enlightening you as to what he just realized, Jimin made his way back into the living room and sat right in his spot next to the toddler. Leaning downward to plant a small kiss on their forehead, he exclaims at full volume. 

“Goodbye, my little mochi, daddy loves you~!” 

You tilted your head in confusion for a moment until you, too, realized what had made your child so salty all day: Jimin never gave them their usual goodbye kiss before he left for work. Immediately, as if someone had flipped a switch, your child offered a handful of candies to their daddy, him happily taking the sweets with a wide grin. 

“Remind me never to forget goodbye kisses, ever again.”

Taehyung 

He despised being the bad cop when it came to punishing his son. Taehyung was usually the fun parent, always sneaking snacks at night and promising never to tell you, that kind of parent. But, when the foot had to come down, it came down hard. During dinner, his son was starting to get a little smart mouthy toward you, and Taehyung was not having it. He had warned him to cool it, but he just didn’t know when to quit.

“That’s it, I’ve warned you to stop running your mouth! Go to your room, you’re grounded for a month - matter of fact, make it two months for bad mouthing your mother!”

This seemed to set him off even more, as he aggressively pushed away from the table to stand, pointing a spiteful finger in your direction. “She is not my mother. She’s just some skank you picked up at some club, and decided she was good enough to keep around-”

“That’s crossing the line! Four months! Say one more goddamn thing, and it’ll be a year - do you understand me?!”

“You’re always picking her side over mine! Ever since she moved in with us, you’ve changed - she’s changing you! I don’t even know who you are anymore, no wonder mom left you! She’s gone because of you, and I hate you!”

With that being said, he finally stormed off. The dining room was left eerily silent, as the only thing that was heard was the sound of him slamming his bedroom door shut. You looked over at Taehyung, seeing that his face remained blank, but you didn’t miss the single tear that slid down his cheek. 

You knew that his ex-wife was a touchy subject between the two of them, and that whole argument definitely opened up old wounds. You raised from your seat, slowly walking over to where he continued to remain motionless as the tears just kept on falling. Leaning in close, you place a small kiss on his slightly damp cheek, easing a little tension out of his shoulder for moment.

“He didn’t mean it, Taehyung. Don’t take what he said to heart, he’s just frustrated. Give him some time, and he’ll come around. I’ll talk to him.” Giving him one more kiss, you exited the dining room and toward his son’s.

Taehyung still continued to sit there as he leaned his face into his hands, now silently crying to himself. You were amazing, trying your very hardest to be a good step-mother…why couldn’t he give you a chance?

- - -

Tae didn’t even realize that he passed out in the dining room, from possibly crying himself to sleep. He woke up to the sound of the front door being slammed shut, and a couple of hushed whispers. When his eyes adjusted, he noticed two silhouettes coming toward him, only to then discover that it was you and his son, carrying what looked to be bowls of frozen yogurt.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you.” You giggled, walking up to him to wipe some drool off the side of his face. “Are you okay?”

Blinking a couple of times, he directs his attention to his son, seeing that he was still picking at his frozen treat while purposely avoiding eye contact. It stayed that way for a good two minutes until you decided to speak for them.

“Dae-Jung, isn’t there something you’d like to say to your father?” The preteen sighs heavily, setting his now empty cup of froyo on the table. Shuffling his feet from side to side, he finally nods.

“I..I’m sorry, dad. I didn’t mean those things that I said, I was just…angry, I guess. It’s just…mom hasn’t been returning my calls lately, and you’ve been spending less time with me, and more time nagging me. I miss how things used to be, when you were my best friend, rather than this stick-in-the-mud. I apologized to Y/n…she’s actually really cool…I guess I kinda get what you see in her…so there. I don’t hate you, and I’m glad you’re here, and I’m sorry that I-”

Taehyung didn’t even let the boy finish rambling as he pulled him into a tight hug, making sure to squeeze the life out of him to reassure himself that he was still there. 

“I’m sorry I’ve been so hard on you, Dae-Jung, I just don’t want you growing up and seeing me as a pushover. I can’t have you walking all over me like you mother did. And I’m glad you’re giving Y/n a chance, you’ll love her, I promise.” He beams at you, grateful to have someone like yourself in his child’s life, and his own. “But, you’re still grounded.”

“What? WHY?” He exclaims, trying to pull away from the hug, but Taehyung wouldn’t let him as he hugged even tighter.

“Because, you didn’t bring me back any frozen yogurt.~”

Jungkook

You had just gotten back from grocery shopping, with your little plus one ‘helping’ you carry the bags inside. After getting everything situated and put away, you set her in her little high chair, so she could enjoy the little treats you had bought for her - for being a good little helper. Soon, your husband walked in, hugging you from behind followed by a small peck to your cheek.

“Hello, gorgeous.~ And hello to you, my little bunny, where’s my kiss~?” Right as he went to give his princess a kiss on the cheek as well, she immediately screamed and blocked her treats from his sight. Taking a step back in shock, he tilts his head in confusion at his baby girl. 

You chuckle softly, leaning over the counter. “Looks like somebody isn’t happy with you.” 

“What have I done?” He tried again to get a kiss, only for her to scream once more, halting his movement. “What’s the matter, precious? Why can’t daddy have a kiss?” 

“No!” She chirps, shaking her head. “My kisses!”

“I can’t have just one?” She shakes her head once again. “Why not?” 

Jungkook, now in a dilemma, places his hands on his hips. It wasn’t until he noticed the empty bag of Hershey kisses that laid right next to her, did he finally realize the miscommunication. 

“Ah, no, I want an actual kiss! Not your candy, silly girl.” He giggles before puckering his lips, leaning downward until he was at her level. “Like this! Remember? You love daddy’s kisses!” 

The little one took a moment to register what he just said, until her eyes focused in on his puckered lips, blinking at them a couple of times. When it eventually clicked, she leaned forward as well until her forehead rested on his lips - allowing him to just go nuts with the tiny kisses to her head; the large amount of affection from her daddy was enough to make her giggle happily, enjoying the shower of kisses he continued to give her. 

The sight alone was enough to make your heart melt, Jungkook could be such a softball when it came to his little gir-

“Jungkook, you ass, I literally just saw you swipe some candy-”

“Shhh!” 

Possible Future

Summary: In the middle of the night, Bucky shows up in your house with his son in his arms looking for someone to talk to.

This is my submission for @whotheeffisbucky AU Writing Challenge! . My choice was single parent au

Paring: Bucky x Reader

Words:1775

Warnings: Fluffy, so much fluff.

Thank you @drinkfantasy for beta this for me you are amazing. 

credits to the gif owners

Originally posted by sebstanslaugh

It is a beautiful Saturday night, the weather is warm, the stars are shining and your apartment smells like fresh baked cookies. What else could a girl want? You are almost falling asleep on your couch when you hear your doorbell ring. Who would visit you at 8 p.m on a Saturday night without previous notice?

When you open the door, you are not surprised to see Bucky with his son, Grant, in his arms on the other side. If someone was going to show up at your house without being invited this someone would be Bucky Barnes. Not that you mind, you loved to spend time with him and his little boy.

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Voltron Headcanons~

-Lance used to make really shitty, low quality videos with his siblings and posted them on youtube.
*They had like 40 subscribers and they were all family members except for Hunk.
*When Lance became a paladin he started recording himself talking about his day every day so his family wouldn’t miss anything even if he never went back.
*The only one who knows he does this is Pidge, because she accidentally heard him when she was in the vents.


-Pidge is ALWAYS in the vents. She thinks they’re very useful in battle and to get information.
*She wanted to get back at Hunk for reading her diary.
*She’s still crafting her plan.
*She has some good blackmail material, tho:
~Shiro’s eyeliner actually takes about two hours to get right, that’s why he always wakes up first.
~Keith spends an hour looking at himself in the mirror and trying to fix his hair every time Lance insults it.
~Lance actually likes Keith’s hair (see: Lance talking to himself and recording it).
~Allura spends all the time she’s in her room doing weird poses on the bed and she falls at least three times per day.
~Hunk has nightmares with Iverson and will wake up screaming not to fail Lance again.

*She hasn’t been able to find anything about Coran, though.


-Keith is lactose intolerant.
*Which means he’ll eat as much dairy as he’s physically able to in space.
*Pidge thinks it’s funny. Lance has an ongoing migraine.


-They have inside jokes.
*The goo is hot and burns Hunk: “Goo, I can’t believe you would do this to me. We had a BONDING MOMENT. I CRADLED YOU IN MY ARMS.”
*Pidge and Shiro will randomly shout: “YOU KNOW YOU LOVE THOSE PEAS, DAD. "The rest of the team is very confused.
*Pidge: VOLTRON DRINKING GAME! You drink every time someone rejects Lance. Keith: Pidge, do you actually want to die? Lance screeching in the distance.
*Allura actually asked what the quiznak a British was when Pidge commented on it. Lance hasn’t stopped laughing yet.


-Hunk’s cooking abilities come from his moms, who owned a family restaurant in their hometown.
*When Lance went to visit and first ate their food he cried.
*Similar reaction to Hunk’s when he visited Lance’s family.
*The day those families get together it’ll be madness. (Hunk: Delicious madness).


-Keith and Pidge are best friends.
*They first bonded over their beef with the Galra.
*Then about being sad with no family.
*Then about how annoying Lance was.
*By the time Keith started talking about Lance more than to say he was annoying, Pidge was too invested to ignore him.
*If she has to hear one more line on Lance’s eyes she’ll murder someone, though.
*She’s tired.


-Pidge goes by both binary and non-binary pronouns.
*She doesn’t care.
*He doesn’t care.
*They don’t care.
*She’ll fucking fight you if you assume based on stereotypes.
*Someone: but you look like a boy! Pidge, wearing a "feminine” outfit: Bitch, you thought!


-Shiro loves reading.
*His favourite book is Pride and Prejudice.
*He owns a copy that looks like it’s been run over by a truck.
*Keith once tried to convince him to replace it and that was the first day he feared for his life.


-Talking about books, favourite books:
*Lance’s favourite book is The Fault in Our Stars.
~Try to talk badly about it and he’ll fight you.
~If you make a reference to it, he will cry.
~“Maybe Voltron will be our always.” “DAMN IT, PIDGE!”

*Hunk’s favourite book is a cooking book his mom got for him when he was like 8.
~He’s not much of a reader unless it has to do with cooking and or engineering.
~If he does read, he likes fantasy and romance.
~Him and Lance have cried over many fictional things over the years.

*Pidge’s favourite book is The Art of Being Normal.
~She doesn’t think the story is perfect, but it made her feel a lot of things.
~She’s also partial to sci-fi. Asimov is her god.

*Keith is a Harry Potter boy.
~He didn’t have many books in the shack.
~He’s reread them more times that he can count.
~“What do you MEAN you haven’t watched the Harry Potter movies?” “Why watch the movies when you can READ THE BOOKS?”

*Allura’s favourite is the Altean equivalent of Romeo and Juliet.
~She likes that they all die at the end.
~“They deserve it. Idiots.” “Allura, no…”

*Coran’s favourite book is the Universal Encyclopedia.
~He’s working to get Earth included because he finds humans fascinating.
~“So you just… take them in your house? Aren’t they wild animals?” “They’re just dogs.” “Incredible.”


-Lance remembers the bonding moment.
*He just said he didn’t because he was bitter Keith didn’t remember him.
*It keeps him up at night.
*“I’m such an idiot.”


-Keith remembers Lance from the Garrison.
*He didn’t at first because he was still in shock from Shiro.
*It also keeps him up at night.
*“Lance is such an idiot.”

Every team 7 ship VS NaruHina

To the clique that argued with me in the saltiest of ways, I dedicate to you my first ever anti nh post. I hope you think twice about telling people to kill themselves over your self insert and stop being a pimple on society’s ass.

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Foul Play (M)

Originally posted by minspink

Summary: Everyone loves a good rivalry, and the students at your university are no exception. Unluckily for you, the rivalry of the decade is between yourself and a furiously irritating Park Jimin. A top gymnast and a basketball star shouldn’t cross paths, but Jimin makes his way into your heart before you can put a stop to it.
Word Count: 24.314
Genre: college au, basketball player Jimin, sports university
A/N: A while ago @workofteaguk was doubting my lane while simultaneously having a crisis over Jimin. So naturally, retaliation was in order. This is all @minsvga‘s fault for encouraging me to run with this idea.

Elitism brings out the worst in people. Feelings of superiority run unchecked where talent and hard work meet to flourish and thrive, where young athletes spend their days training their bodies to the limits, pushing themselves harder to reach the ultimate dream: to receive validation and know that the years they’ve spent sacrificing sleep and jobs and romance for medals, winning seasons, and future professions has been worth it.

And as any good athlete knows, elitism leads to rivalry. Rivalries between teammates, between neighboring schools, or, most notably, a rivalry between Seoul Sports University’s top gymnast and one of the best point guards to grace the basketball court. And when rivalry and hatred reach such a level, it attracts attention from outsiders, from those who find amusement from such bitter hatred between two young people. Two young people who share common goals and similar training regimes, who for all intents and purposes should be close, but cannot stand the sight of one another.

This is a feeling that you know intimately.

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Breaking the Rules - part 1

Bucky Barnes x Reader

SummaryModern!AU You hate James Barnes with a burning passion and the feeling is entirely mutual. Just when you think things can’t get any worse, you are tricked into attending his sister’s wedding as his girlfriend. Stuck with a bunch of strangers, you come up with a set of rules that are not going to last long.

Word Count:1,957

Warnings: Hate to Love, Fake Dating, Snarky Remarks, Language

A/N: Okay, just a warning, there will be a lot of OCs in this series (mostly Bucky’s sisters and parents) Hope you like the first chapter :)

Breaking the Rules - Masterpage

Originally posted by winter-barnes

You loved Natasha’s apartment. It was spacious and bright and she had a great view of the city. There was just one teeny-tiny itsy-bitsy problem… you hated her neighbour.

James ‘Bucky’ Barnes.

Natasha introduced you to Bucky a little over a year ago. Her fiancé, Clint, adored him and Bucky always stopped by their apartment. The boys would stay in the living room and watch TV while you and Natasha gossiped and drank wine in the kitchen.

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Meeting the Family

Prompt: Batfam meets Batmom’s large extended family

AN: I interrupt our string of votes to bring you an actual story. Enjoy!

Words: 1490


          You’re more than a little surprised when your brother walks through your office door. Though not technically an employee of Wayne Enterprises, your office space is still in the building, just one of the perks of your husband owning the building. That also means your security is top notch, and well, you haven’t seen anyone from your family in about ten years.

          All of this is what’s running through your mind as your brother, your baby brother just stands there and fidgets. “You’re still drifting off I see.”

          You shrug and point to one of the chairs, on the opposite side of the room. There’s several minutes of silence, as you take in the changes on your brother, before you ask, “What are you doing here, Ricky?”

          “Mom’s in the hospital … It’s bad. She wants to see you.”

          That takes you by surprise. Your fight was never with your mother; it was just a side effect of the war with your father. “What’s wrong?”

          He shrugs. “Kidney failure, she wants to come off treatment. She won’t listen to anyone. The doctors say she still has a chance you know. If she continues her treatments, and waits for a transplant. Either way she wants to see you.” You open your mouth to say something but he stops you “This isn’t about dad, it’s about mom. The fight wasn’t with her, it wasn’t with any of us but dad. It was you who chose to leave. It was you who cut us off.”

          You nod. “You’re right, I did.”

          “She’s your mother, and she’s dying. You should see her.”

          “I won’t make any promises.”

          Your brother stares at you for a moment before laying an envelope on the table, and walking out.

          You debate on going for several days. Bruce is out of town on business for the week, and the boys are all gone as well. It’s just you and Alfred in the manor. And while the butler doesn’t pry he does acknowledge something is wrong.

          It all comes out two nights later about the fight that separated you from your family. The fight that ended up leading you to Bruce. The fight that led the two of you to each of the boys. “It’s weird how a fight that, at that time, nearly ended my world, led me to a brand new one. One I wouldn’t change for the world. “

          Alfred just smiles. “If you called Master Bruce he’d return home to go with you.”

          You shake your head. “No, I think this is something I need to do alone.”

          You’re packed and out the door several hours later. You catch a last minute flight, and you just go. It’s nearly midnight when you get to the hospital, suitcase in tow. You follow the nurse to her room. She leaves you at the door with instructions, to try and not wake her. You agree and slip into the room.

          Your eyes focus on the woman in the bed. She looks frail, and much too thin. Her hair though is still brushed, and delicately styled, your sister’s doing no doubt. And she’s dressed in nice looking pajamas.

          You prop your suitcase against the wall and move to the chair beside her bed. You just sit there staring at her. You study the changes and with a feeling of sadness you realize she’s actually gotten older, not old, just older. At the same time, it hits you. You’ve gotten older too. You have a husband, and kids now. You have a successful business. Things have changed not only for you, but for them as well.

At some point in the night, you turn to a book. You’re nearly halfway through when a voice whispers, “You always did have your nose in a book. Couldn’t get enough of them. You’d always beg her for one more chapter when she’d read to you before bed.”

You book mark your page and turn towards the voice. Your father is still very much like how you remembered him. He’s tall, and wide, but his hair has a lot more gray in it now, and there are more lines along his face.

He gestures with his head and you follow him out. “I didn’t expect you to come.”

You cross your arms. “I wasn’t completely sure I would myself.”

“She’ll be happy to see you.” You just acknowledge the statement with a nod. “I suppose we need to talk.”

You shrug, suddenly feeling like that twenty something again. “I don’t see why. We both said all we needed to all those years ago.”

He looks you in the eye and says, “I want to make things right.”

“I don’t know if I’m ready for that.”

“It’s been ten years.”

“And a lot has changed in those years. Right now, I’m here for Mom.”

“Which means you’re here for me. She wanted you here so we could settle things. She wanted to make sure that you had your family in case something went wrong, or something went right. She wanted you to have us around for when you got married, when you have kids. She’s terrified you’ll be alone.”

“And what do you want?” You ask. He just looks at you confused. You shrug and say, “So far everything has been about what Mom wants. What do you want?”

He stares at you for a minute before he says “I want my daughter back.”

You nod. “Small steps. This was a good first one.”

Without another word, you slip back into the room. Your father is right behind you and he takes the seat on the opposite side of the bed. Neither of you say anything, but you don’t go back to your book either.

          Your mother wakes up at about eight in the morning. She opens her eyes and she comes to life. There’s tears when she sees you, and a lot of saying sorry on both your parts. Your father just watches. You take her hand and don’t let go for several hours.

          Over the next several days you see a lot of family you haven’t seen in a long time. Some greet you with smiles, others with nods. Overall, you spend a lot of time with your mother and siblings. Things start looking up, and then suddenly something happens. No one’s quite sure what, but suddenly her blood pressure starts to drop, and you’re pushed out of the room, as she’s rushed back to emergency surgery.

          You’re a bit disoriented, as you watch the family surround each other. You consider joining in, but they’ve formed this little cocoon, and you can’t help but feel there isn’t a place for you there anymore.

          You watch from the outside, your arms wrapped around yourself. Till a noise you’d know anywhere hits your ears. A very tired looking Bruce rounds the corner, with the boys trailing after him. Dick and Jason are on the lookout for you while Tim and Damian bicker about something.

          You smile as Bruce’s eyes lock onto you. You meet him halfway, and he pulls you into an embrace. That feeling of safeness washes over you, and you allow the tears to come. Bruce guides you away from your family and suddenly the boys are all trying to reach you.

          They’ve never seen you cry, and you imagine it’s a bit unsettling for them. You hug and kiss each of them, before explaining the situation. Bruce disappears, and once you’ve collected yourself, they go with you back to the waiting room.

          You can see the curious looks on your family’s faces. And you do your best to smile and say, “Everyone, these are my sons. This is Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian. And my husband Bruce will be along any minute.”

          Almost if by magic, Bruce appears and says, “I’ve got her moved to a better hospital room, a private room. Not a private room, that can be turned into a semi private hospital. I’ve also called Lee, she’s flying in to take a look, and she has some recommendations for doctors that might be able to help her a bit more until she comes up on the transplant list.”

          Before you can even say ‘thank you’, your brother says, “And where the hell is all that money coming from?”

          Bruce just raises an eyebrow and says, “Me. I suppose I should introduce myself. I’m Y/N’s husband, Bruce Wayne. I’ve take care of her medical bills, everything is settled. And my company donates quite a bit of money to this hospital every year, so they’ve comped the private room. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to get my wife something to eat.”

          Without another word he begins guiding you down the hallway, the boys following behind, with smiles on their faces; and you can’t help but smile, because your family is right here with you.

Female Chinese Adoptee in the US

Hi, I’m a female Chinese adoptee who spent more time with a foster mother than in the orphanage. I was adopted before I was half a year old by a white American single mother, and later raised by two white American parents once she married. I have a younger sister who is also adopted from China, but we aren’t blood related at all (yes people do ask me if we are). I grew up in a largely white portion of the south and went to religious schools with largely white populations (My mom did not adopt me from some misguided Christian white supremacist stance of saving me). I’m currently getting a degree in theater and film, so well thought out representation and minority stories are very important to me. Every adoption story is different, and as far as I can find, you only have the one POC profile on Chinese adoption and I wanted to give my point of view for variation.

I want to preface this by saying that my adoption has had a big impact on my life, but it is not my identity, and the impact it’s had isn’t something that I was consciously thinking about as it happened. It’s mainly as I’ve gotten older and looked back that I’ve realized how it has impacted certain aspects of my life. Growing up, my adoption isn’t something that was always on my mind, and it’s only through trying to better understand myself and who I identify as that I’ve come to analyze it more. Also sorry this is super long, I just wanted to be thorough.

Beauty Standards

Again, not something I consciously thought about when I was younger. Contrary to the popular stereotypes and fixations about Asian eyes, the shape of my eyes wasn’t something I thought about. What I was self-conscious about when I was a kid was how “flat” my face was, especially my nose. I felt like I didn’t have any definition, and because I didn’t grow up seeing many other Asian people or POC for that matter, I didn’t understand that different races had different facial structures. I just internally accepted that the caucasian facial structure was how people were supposed to look. I’ve since accepted the way I look, and while I don’t think I’m the hottest chick out there, I like the way I look.

Culture

When I was young, my mother enrolled me in Mandarin Classes and Chinese Culture classes/camps designed for Chinese adoptees to help me connect to my native culture and to surround me with other people like me. At one point I was even enrolled in a Chinese Fan Dance class if I remember correctly. I’m sure I had fun with some of them, just as I’m sure my attention span was short when I was a kid and that I got bored quickly. I didn’t have a problem with them at the time, but looking back I do remember feeling mildly annoyed with going to the events specifically for adopted kids because if felt like people just assumed we’d be friends because off of us shared the adoptee experience. I get that same feeling of annoyance when people to this day tell me “Oh, so and so is adopted from China too! You’d like her,” because I personally resent the idea that people assume my adoption is my identity and that alone is enough for me to connect with someone.

Identify Issues

I have always identified as a Chinese-American. My parents were always very honest with me about my adoption for as long as I can remember, so I was always somewhat aware that I was different. That being said, growing up surrounded by white people meant that the people I identified with where white, and there was a time in middle school where a teacher mentioned something about me being different in regards to my race (we were talking about casting for the school play). For a good 5 minutes I was confused about what she meant until I remembered that I was Chinese and not white like everyone else. That’s a moment that’s stuck with me throughout my life and I’ve always been a little ashamed of forgetting myself.

Recently I was asked if I identify as an immigrant, and I didn’t know how to answer. Technically I am one. At one point I had a green card and my mother had to fill out paperwork to make me a US citizen, so I don’t feel like I wasn’t an immigrant, but I also don’t identify with the typical image of immigrants. My story of finding my place in America isn’t the typical story of POC immigrants so I don’t necessarily feel solidarity with them. 

Within Asian Americans’, there’s been a stereotype about them being too Asian, but not Asian enough which is something I’ve also struggled with on both sides. In high school when I mispronounced pho, I was accused of being a “bad Asian” by a white friend, but when I was talking diversity politics with a teacher, my point of view was dismissed because she knew I was adopted so I was “basically white anyway.” While I do try to defer to the point of view of Asian immigrants and descendants of immigrants when it comes to certain topics and experiences, I also think it’s important for people to understand that when I interact with the majority of people, I am treated as an Asian woman. I live life as an Asian woman, not a white woman. Alternatively, because I grew up in such a white area, I admit that I grew up with a lot of internalized racism and have found myself judging mixed race Asians for the same thing from time to time though I am actively trying to unlearn that habit.

Honestly, as I get older and try to understand who I am more, the more confused I get over my identity. It’s still something I’m working to understand.

Language

Outside of the Mandarin classes I went to briefly as a kid, I also took 3 semesters of Mandarin in college to fulfill my language requirement. I did actively choose to take Mandarin because I thought it was important for me to learn, not because of my culture, but because as an aspiring Chinese American actress, many breakdowns for roles require a knowledge of fluent Mandarin. I am not fluent. I fulfilled my requirement and haven’t pursued it any further as of yet. I might try again in the future.

Daily Struggles

Since turning roughly 18, whenever I go places with my parents, we’re typically asked if we want to split the check, but if my younger sister is with us, no one asks. I don’t know if it qualifies as a struggle, but it’s something I’ve noticed that biological parents and children don’t go through as much. I’ve also come to explain that I’m adopted when I’m talking about my childhood or my past. I do it partially to give context to whatever story I’m about to tell or for whatever I’m explaining. Ex: I’ve had to explain my background during a workshop when I wrote a paper on representation in media for Asian Americans because the people reading the paper didn’t know I was Asian American simply from the context of the personal experiences I presented in the paper and were guessing my race off of my white sounding name. I’ve also had to explain my background when another Asian American commented repeatedly that I “sound so white.” I’m also very open about the fact that I’m adopted if people ask because it’s not something I’m ashamed of, and I want to normalize the idea of adoption.

When I was only a couple years old there was a girl who made fun of me for being adopted. It’s one of my mom’s favorite stories, because rather than letting the girl get to me, I said something snarky in return, but I’m assuming that’s why I try to normalize the idea of adoption, because being adopted doesn’t make me any less of a person than someone who is still with their biological parents.

I also witnessed a lot of the Asian eye jokes, but curiously enough they were never directed at me. I guess that says something about the kind of environment I lived in, because when I said something to a boy drawing an “Asian smiley face” he looked stunned and was surprised that I was Asian. I guess this instance doesn’t have as much to do with adoption but is more of a comment on the stereotype about how Asians are supposed to look distorting the fact that we actually look like regular human beings and not caricatures.

Dating and Relationships and Home/Family Life/Friendships

I’m putting these two in the same category because my abandonment issues have had a similar impact on them. As a kid, I always hated leaving when we were visiting my out of state grandmother or whenever my mom would go on a work trip. I would cry and fuss, and even as an adult, I hate saying goodbye for a long period of time. Intellectually, I know I’ll see these people again, but emotionally I worry about what if? I also get really scared and start tearing up if my parents are late coming to pick me up from the airport when I come to visit. I worry about being left alone. And I want to emphasize that this isn’t a conscious, “Oh, I’m adopted, I’m worried I’m going to be abandoned again” type thing. So much of these feelings are internalized and subconscious. It’s just that fear of never seeing someone you care about again, and even though I’m a logical person who knows that they’re just late, I can’t override that fear.

I have never had a romantic relationship and I have a few close friends, but I’m not the life of the party. I’ve always been careful about forming connections with people and have even actively resisted it when I was younger and was going to camps or doing something where I’d only see these people for a small amount of time. I had the mentality of “It’s not worth it because I’ll never see them again,” and that’s another thing I’m trying to overcome, because I still don’t like making connections if I know they’re not going to last. For similar reasons, I’m also very bad at vocalizing my affections and feelings towards people. I’ve never liked letting people close, and there was a time when I was a teen where I even distanced myself from my family, and that’s a bridge I’m still trying to repair to this day.

My family has always been understanding of the fact that I’m dealing with a lot when it comes to understanding my adoption and my identity, but there are also some things that they don’t understand and it can be hard to talk to them about things like my cultural identity and growing up around tons of micro-aggressions that they’ve never had to deal with. 

Misconceptions

The idea of who my real parents are. The idea of one set of parents being more valid than the other just seems fucked up to me, especially when it’s been posed to me as “So if they tell you to do something, do you ever just say, ‘No, you’re not my real parents, you can’t tell me what to do.’” My adopted parents are still my parents. I also think of my biological parents as my parents. I have never hated or resented my biological parents for giving me up nor have I ever used my adoptee status as an excuse to act out towards my adopted parents. While I do know about the One Child Policy, I don’t know the specific circumstances surrounding why I was given up for adoption. I don’t see the point in being angry about it without knowing the whole story, and I’ve come to terms with the fact that I may never know the whole story.

I also don’t feel particularly grateful towards my adopted parents or like I owe them anything for adopting me. Don’t get me wrong, I still love them, but I’m not actively trying to repay them for adopting me. I don’t owe them my life, they’re just my family.

Self-Esteem

I had a lot of self-esteem issues growing up, and they still persist today. They aren’t something I linked back to my abandonment issues until I sat down and talked to a therapist. I’ve always been a perfectionist to the point where I was never happy with anything I did, unless it was perfect. I literally never felt good enough. Part of the reason I distanced myself from my family is because I didn’t want to be a bother. Intellectually I knew I wasn’t going to be abandoned again, but I still felt like I had to be as good as I could possibly be to make sure. This is another one of those things that was never consciously thought about, it’s just how things were. I didn’t feel like I or whatever issues I was having was worth the trouble of bothering people, especially my parents, so I just didn’t, and had a habit of keeping a lot of things bottled up inside without telling anyone*. It’s another thing I’m also currently working to better my perception of myself.

*Just because I was trying to be a good kid and didn’t vocalize affection much does not act as an excuse for writing a submissive, emotionally stunted stereotype of a Chinese Adoptee. I am also snarky and sarcastic and opinionated and outgoing with my friends.

Things I’d like to see less of

Stop using adoptees in the abortion argument in general, especially if you don’t understand the adoption process or the issues adoptees face. Stop asking me to choose who my real parents are. It also bothers me the way people romanticize adoption, even if it’s people in various fandoms goofing around. People who adopt are not saints. Fandoms who make light of adoption and squee about wanting to adopt a character or wanting one character to adopt another makes light of a whole situation. Adoption is a great thing. It’s great for kids without families to get a family, but it’s also a painful thing for the kid, because a kid needing to be adopted means that they’ve also lost a family at a young age. Please be sensitive of that. Don’t romanticize adoption. People trying to empathize with those internalized feelings of abandonment and mistrust when they don’t have the same or similar experiences. Other people are allowed to feel those things, but please understand that the degree of what we feel is immense. From a personal perspective, when people try to do that, it feels like they’re making light of what I feel.

Things I’d like to see more of

Just normalizing the idea of adoption and understanding the good and the bad. Adoption stories in media that don’t hinge on the angsty, rebellious adoptee being angry at their adoptive parents. Stories that give adoptees identities outside of their being adopted. Understand that all adoptees are not the same. We all have different experiences based on race, religion, the region we’ve been adopted into, the kind of parents we have. There are so many variables that make up who we are.

Don’t Go[Bill Denbrough]

A/N: I love my small children

|Don’t go,puh-puh-please…|

Originally posted by scerek

Y/N had spent most of her childhood years in Derry. Despite all the murders,the bullies,the depression that always ran through her because of it,she loved her birthplace. The bond between Derry and Y/N was strong,the girl loved the small town unconditionally,almost blindly. Derry was her weakness. Her priority. Her number one.

Adoring Derry also meant loving the people living in it. Specifically, a bunch of kids,a bunch of losers who Y/N swore she would never forget;Stan,Eddie,Ben,Bev,Richie,Mike and Bill…

Bill. Bill Denbrough. Her best friend. Her crush. The love of her life,maybe. Bill was just too perfect. With his beautiful eyes,his adorable stuttering…To her,he was the perfect boy. He was always kind and sweet to her… But then she would remind herself that she was just a young girl. Having feelings towards a boy was stupid. That’s what her mother said.

Knowing that she had to leave everybody behind hurt too much. She got so attached to her friends,that when the time came and she had to announce the breaking news,she just couldn’t help but sob and cry uncontrollably. Eddie had put his aspirator in her mouth,hoping it would help her calm down,but it was no use.

“Please don’t cry…” Beverly had told her as she hugged her tightly.

“You don’t understand…” Y/N said,wiping away a few tears using the sleeves of her long jacket. “I’m gonna live with my mom’s sister. That bloody woman is gonna make my life a living hell…”

Nobody said anything except for Beverly who just whispered a weak “i know”. And it was true. Because she knew how home could easily turn into inferno. But she didn’t wanna tell.

“I’m gonna miss you guys. You have no idea how much…” She said and sniffed.

“We’re gonna muh-muh-miss you t-too Y/N. ” Said Bill and the girl felt her heart breaking into millions of pieces. The hardest part of the whole thing was leaving Bill. He was the first person she met from the losers’ club and knowing that she would probably never see him again was killing her. Knowing that she would see none of her friends again was killing her.

The honk of her mother’s car brought her back to reality. She was about to go,right. She was just saying her last goodbyes to her friends. She turned back and raised her left hand,motioning that she needed five more minutes. Her mom waved back at her and gave her a thumbs up.

“So…That’s it,i guess…” Y/N shrugged and put her hands on her hips.

Hesitantly,Stan was the first who hugged her after Bev. Y/N gave him a sad smile as she wrapped her arms around him,a few more tears escaping her eyes.

“You can be such a diva sometimes but i’m gonna miss you like hell, Stanley…”

Then it was Richie,who tried to imitate Y/N’s voice but failed,causing everyone to burst out laughing.

“Don’t miss me too much trashmouth…”

Then, she warmly embraced Ben,“you’re gonna be a freakin’ model one day.” and Mike, saying “When i come back,you better be the town’s sheriff or else i’m gonna beat you up…”

She knew it was the last time looking at their faces. Nobody told her that,of course. If anything,her mother had promised her that she would return,eventually.

“When things get safe in Derry,i’m coming to get you.”

But Y/N was a pessimist. All she could see was a life full of misery in a house without windows,accompanied by someone who wouldn’t give a damn if she died. She knew herself more than anyone. And to her,it was just a fact that her life outside Derry wouldn’t last for long. Believe it or not,she had accepted it.

She also knew she wouldn’t be there to watch her friends defeat the beast. Yes,she was sure they would win the war. IT wasn’t gonna get away with all those murders this time. And even though the losers’ club wouldn’t be the same without her,that’s what Bill said,she highly doubted that the bond between them would break.

She got so lost in her thoughts,that she didn’t feel two arms being wrapped around her small form. It wasn’t until the person who owned them spoke into her ear,that she came back to her senses.

Don’t go,puh-puh-please…” His voice was low and sounded desperate.

Y/N felt her chest tighten. She wanted to let it all out,the sobs,the screams,the thoughts that haunted her mind. But she couldn’t. She decided to try and stay as composed as possible. She didn’t want her friends to realize she was crying for them. She had always been the strong one,yet this past few minutes showed otherwise. But that’s how she wanted them to remember her,unbreakable till the end.

But when her body touched Bill’s,when he burried his warm face in her neck,she couldn’t help but cry. She tried to hold it in but failed miserably.

“You’re gonna be everything you want to be one day,i promise.” She said,her voice cracking.

“Y/N,we’re gonna be late!” Her mother’s voice slightly startled her and she immediately pulled away. So did Bill. The sadness on his face couldn’t be hid.

Y/N gave everyone a sad smile,as she started taking a few steps backwards.

“Always a loser?” shouted Richie and she nodded.

“Always a loser.” She repeated. Throwing one last glance at them,she turned around and started walking away. She put her right hand in her pocket,kicking some pebbles with her foot

“Billy,are you coming?” She heard Eddie ask.

“No,i’ll catch up with you guys
l-l-ater.” He replied.

Y/N blinked.

She stopped dead in her tracks,feeling like she couldn’t breathe.

Was he…Was Bill…

A hand softly took her wrist and slowly spun her around,almost as if the person was afraid to see her crying face.

Y/N frowned,her heart sinking. Why couldn’t he just let go? Why was he making things harder than they already were?

“I f-forgot to g-g-give you something.” He whispered,never letting go of her trembling hand.

“I don’t want you to give me anything,Billy. I won’t forget you.” She said,avoiding his gaze.

“N-n-no,i’ve b-b-been truh-trying to g-give you this s-since the day we m-m-met…”

Y/N looked up at him,confused.

“Your stuttering is getting worse,are you-”

She didn’t manage to finish her question because his soft lips were on hers. It was quick and rather she short but to Y/N,it meant the world. Not even in her dreams,had Bill Denbrough kissed her.

Even though the kiss was salty,due to her tears,her heart was beating so fast and her cheeks had flushed. Bill had her wrapped around his little fucking finger.

“Best friends don’t do that…” She mumbled when the boy pulled away.

“I guess they don’t.” he said,smiling.

“Jaysus Christ,Y/N! Come here,now!” Her mother seemed furious. She didn’t really care about what her daughter said or did. All she wanted was the schedule to be followed.

“That’s my call,i guess…” Y/N giggled and moved her hand away from Bill’s.

“Forever i-i-in m-my huh-heart,Y/N.” Bill said,his cheeks slightly pink.

“Forever in my heart,Bill.”

They both smiled at each other and saying goodbye,they took their seperate ways; Bill towards the road the others losers had followed. Y/N towards her mother’s car.

She didn’t know what life had in store for her. At that moment,maybe it didn’t even matter.

Y/N had gotten the best present a girl could ever ask for.

And for that,she was happy.