the moment i absolutely felt in love with sherlock

Sherlock Valentine’s Day Challenge Day #12

”I’m sure you two will be very happy together.”

Sherlock x Reader

Side Notes: I’m back!! :) Quite a few of the moments in this fic are from the actual show, with some little changes. Enjoy!

Warning: Light swearing.

Originally posted by rainingooblah

Sherlock stood at the flat’s window, a familiar mobile phone held in his left hand as he stared at it filled with longing. Sitting in John’s chair, you watched as your boyfriend weighed it in his hands, back and forth. You realized he had not taken notice of your figure retreating from your room minutes before. 

“The woman,” he whispered as a small smile spread on his face, “The woman.”

Sherlock shook his head and threw the phone in the air before catching it, his grip tighter than it had been before. He moved his head to the right and you could no longer see Sherlock’s profile, although his back appeared to tense. He looked down to the floor when his hand dropped to his side.

You frowned while leaning forward in the chair, hands clasped between your legs. He cares about her. 

You weren’t the only woman to have caught Sherlock’s unwavering attention. 

He loved Irene Adler, too.

“Crap!” You yelled as your toe collided with the leg of the table in the kitchen, once looking up to find Janine nearly resting on Sherlock’s lap. Your mind had flashed back to the moment you felt yourself losing Sherlock to another - although nothing measured to how much you truly lost him in this moment. 

“Y/N! What happened, are you okay?” Janine asked you, her voice laced with concern which you absolutely hated.

“Oh yeah, yeah, I’m fine - didn’t know where I was going!” You replied with a tense laugh, dragging a chair out to sit down and let the pain diminish.

Keeping your eyes on the roof and grimacing, you purposefully avoided Sherlock’s gaze which you knew was focused on deducing what you were thinking. John, shaking off his shock of discovering Sherlock has yet another relationship, walked over to your side to inspect how you were doing. His eyes pleaded with yours once he knew why you had hurt yourself.

“I’m okay,” You whispered. 

Whispers came from the front room before footsteps approached where you were sitting. You looked up to see Janine pulling Sherlock into the bathroom and groaned as the door slammed shut. John turned around, after seeing the hurt rise on your face, to find what had happened.

“You’re okay with that?”

“Of course not, John. How could I be?” You growled. The sound of a shower being turned on filled the silence and you shoved the chair back to head into your room, closing the door to become as far away from what was happening out there as possible. You lay yourself on your bed and took deep breaths to calm yourself, but it was no use. You turned over, raising your knees to your chest as a tear ran down your cheek.


It had been a few minutes when you decided to pull yourself together, open the door to walk and grab your coat, before the two of them finished whatever the hell they were doing in that steaming room.

That was the plan, however, until you came face to face with Sherlock and Janine kissing passionately at the front door. Your mouth fell open as you backed up a few steps, colliding into John’s back. He was beginning to raise his hands to lay over your shoulders when you stepped forward sharply with a large smile in anger.

“Wow, who knew there’d be a day Sherlock actually has a girlfriend.” Janine broke away from him and smiled at you. “I sure didn’t! Did you, John?”

He shook his head. “I had my suspicions but… it appears it was only Janine, after all.”

“This is just great! Isn’t it, Sherlock.” You smirked at your boyfriend before continuing. “Now it’s your turn to get married.”

Janine blushed and turned to kiss Sherlock, whose eyes stayed trained on yours as her lips met his.

“He wishes!”

You laughed along with her as Janine began to retreat out of the flat and waved lovingly to Sherlock. Your smile collapsed once she was out of your line of sight, moving around to look out the windows with your arms crossed. 


You refused to answer and continued to face away from your boyfriend that was at a loss of what to say. Sherlock looked over to John for help, who shook his head and retreated from the room to leave you two alone. 

“Sherlock, what was that?” You said quietly when the silence was deafening.

His mouth opened without a sound coming out. Sherlock closed it when he heard nothing, before swallowing and opening his lips again to talk to you. “You told me this was okay, that you understood it was for a case.”

You whipped around, away from the sun shining on your body, to face Sherlock. “Okay? I told you it was okay to pretend to be interested in her, not to jump into the shower with her!”

“We didn’t -”

“Then, I come out to find you kissing her.” You let out a harsh laugh. “Sherlock, we kiss like that! You were enjoying it with her!”

No. It’s simple, even you can deduce this Y/N. I envision it as you, of course it looks like I - “ 

You shook your head defiantly before interrupting Sherlock. “How would I know that? You’ve lied to me about your whole relationship with Janine - this even happened with Irene, too! You loved her, Sherl.”

“No! No, don’t bring her into this. I didn’t lie, I just merely didn’t mention it to you - you’re being difficult, Y/N. You told me you understood.”

“Well, I don’t think I want to anymore.” 

Sherlock’s eyes widened, reaching out for your hand. You felt him grasp it in his own, twisting it around for better grip. His eyes searched yours, deciding to pull you towards him to crash his lips onto yours. 

The palms of your hands rested on his face, moving your lips with his in sync. Sherlock moved to kiss up your jaw and towards your closed eyelids. He then gently kissed your nose, finally resting his forehead on yours. Salty tears fell from your eyes and ran down over your mouth.

Pulling back slightly, while Sherlock’s kiss lingered on your lips, you said, “I’m sure you two will be very happy together.”

Your hands dropped away from his cheeks and moved to grab your coat off the hook. The broken, near tears look Sherlock gave you almost broke your own heart - but you knew that this… this was inevitable. 

It was a vicious, never ending cycle of push and pull. There was never a single moment when you didn’t question Sherlock’s feelings for you - when you thought that he wouldn’t leave you at any given moment.

Now, it was your turn to let him fear your loss. 

“But I -” You squeezed his hand and let it go, as the warmth from your body left his own completely. 

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Sherlock.”

3 part anon ask copied and pasted

1/3 Can we talk about the fact that Sherlock knew immediately that the coffin was for Molly? How sad he was while looking at it? The change in his tone when he told her they’re friends?

2/3 The expression on his face when he said, “What if it’s true? Say it anyway.” The way he said the second “I love you” like a realization dawned on him? How upset and broken he was that he took it out on that coffin?

3/3 So much was told. It was cruel, but absolutely stunning. Everything felt like a chapter from fanfiction! Ha! Well, Sherlock technically is fanfiction. He he he!

It truly was cruel and stunning! I’m under no false belief that that scene was sweet and fairytale like. But it was stunning nonetheless. Because even if something isn’t sweet and fluffy, it can be raw and real. And REAL is what matters to me here. Because nobody will ever convince me that Sherlock didn’t love Molly in that moment. Moriarty may not have known what Molly meant to Sherlock but I think Eurus did. And to me, that “test” had one purpose…to break him. And guess what? It worked. Because he does love her. Breaking Molly Hooper was what broke Sherlock Holmes. (AND VERY SOON IM GONNA FIC IT)