Negotiation is the core of BDSM. Safewords are essential. Contracts can be useful in formalizing these negotiations. But at the root of everything, negotiation is what separates BDSM from abuse. D/s is a journey. I believe that more strongly now than ever. It is, however, a journey that one must undertake with much forethought and preparedness. It is not a thing to engage in lightly and there are no shortcuts.
A dominant man will make mistakes and have no fear admitting them. The dominant guy knows he is not All Knowing, for he is human. A guy who believes he never makes mistakes or does not admit to them with good cheer is most likely not dominant.
A dominant man may have all the accoutrement of kink (the whips, chains, and whatnot), but he will not need them to be dominant. A whisper, a word, a look, a swagger, and a touch are the essence of his talent. Confidence is his weapon of choice, not bragging about his dungeon. Those who tout their toys too highly might well be lacking in other departments.
A dominant man will never send you a cock shot at first greeting and it is highly unlikely that he’ll have one on his profile.
A dominant man will not beg you for naked photographs. In fact, he won’t beg for anything. He will simply wait till you’re dying to send him your naughty pictures unsolicited and accept them with lordly composure (or a rock hard-on, depending on the photo).
A dominant man will not seem ‘desperate’ for your attention. Getting dates or getting laid is not his problem; he can find women on kink sites, at work, or in the grocery store. He knows women, and women are drawn to him. Many women, kink or vanilla, prefer a man who is take-charge both in the bedroom and in life. If a 'Dom’ becomes frantic, anxious, or despairing because you don’t write him back every other hour, chances are he has a hard time with the fairer sex. The good news is desperation is easy to spot.
A dominant man will not start off by with, “Bow down on your knees upon receipt of my message!” There seems to be many complaints from women about this kind of ploy as first introduction, and this is reason alone to block n move on (I would advise ladies to use this tactic often and liberally rather than engage in argument or flame war’s life is too short.). Ignore the Insta-Dom.
A dominant man most often will be successful, a maverick, or at least happy in his chosen profession. If he has had some bad luck in his past, it will be fleeting, for he will strive relentlessly to place his universe back into the order mandatory to his existence. If your suitor languishes in poverty, unemployment for years, or hates his job, most likely his dominance is merely a cover-up to appease his lack of success. Though he may not be the millionaire, look for the man who is happy, confident, unique, and/or successful in his chosen endeavor.
A dominant man will be very interested in you, and not just your sexual needs (though they will certainly get his attention). He will see you as a puzzle, and desire to make sense of that puzzle. The dominant guy loves challenge and that in essence is why so many submissives find disillusion in the vanilla world; most men do not seek challenge in sensuality, they fear it. Submissive women are the most challenging of lovers for they have great fantasy. Their fantasies often require a man to move far outside normal gestures requiring both skill and creativity. How you think about a myriad of criterion will be of great interest to him.
A dominant man is likely to be damn good in the sack. Most men have their hands full with straight-up vanilla sex. The dominant man has either mastered or has no interest in such elementary play, at least not all the time. Making a woman orgasm many times has left him bereft of sport, so he now seeks a woman who will challenge him on other levels. The dominant guy is going to have a good understanding of the female anatomy, and will persist in finding the keys to your body and mind. He will have done his homework and already experimented in real-time on many lovers. He will be a bit of the Don Juan, if not Don himself; not a womaniser per se, but certainly sexually advanced.
A dominant man will be very cautious in selecting you because he knows you have great desires, hopes, and dreams, and it is he that has to live up to them. Above all things he will wish to be good for you. He attempts to choose wisely but may at first make many mistakes in his choices as he finds his way.
A dominant man will never lie about being married or already having a girlfriend. If he’s married to vanilla, he’ll simply say so. If he’s dating vanilla, he’ll break up with her before venturing in with another (less he’s doing a poly thing and brings her along, or in an open relationship). The dominant guy is straightforward, will wish to be plain about his true desires and needs, and if he is attached, will be forthcoming with that information. If he’s cheating on his vanilla wife, he will say so. He made his choice and is going for it.
A dominant man won’t lie about much, though he surely will keep some of his thoughts from you. A Dom who feels swallowing golden showers to be right up your alley may well know telling you straight out might have you running for cover. This is not in itself lying, he’s just taking the appropriate steps first and at the speed he thinks you can absorb them (he may well discard such thoughts as he gets to know you; he will discard his thoughts often). The lying 'Dom’ will have an agenda that has no bearing on your needs. The real dominant guy wants no part of someone for whom he cannot be good. A man who attempts to get with a woman he cannot handle or vice versa is desperate.
A dominant man will not be heavy handed in his approach. He will be skilled at drawing you in, opening you up, making you feel at ease or on edge (depending on his tastes). His efforts will seem effortless; even aloof at times. He will grow on you. Capture you. Enlighten you and make things seem clear that may have been once blurry. You will feel better about yourself when communicating with him (even if your desire is to live in debasement!). Only an impostor will try to tear you down in order to raise himself to higher ground. The dominate gets off by watching you soar, not fall.
In essence, taking on a submissive is both invigorating and empowering yet also a humbling experience. He may err constantly, particularly if he is new. Yet he will always, always strive to be better, and though longs and seeks challenge, he will avoid that which he knows he cannot handle, or will in some near future be unable to handle. It may take time but he will understand his own limits as well as his woman’s.
A submissive is a truckload of challenge (ask their ex-vanilla lovers), and so the dominant man needs you like he needs air. He wants your worship not simply for worship sake but because he has gone beyond the call of the norm, ventured into the realm of risk, and passing across the dangerous abyss where footing is treacherous, hopefully breaks into the sunshine of success offering you something glorious. THAT alone is why he seeks your worship; because he has earned it and deserves it.
If a man does not seek risk and challenge in his life, if he wishes worship without venturing his ego, if he does not persist continually toward excellence in handling a woman as he does in many things, he is not a dominant man.
-He’s the richest man in the fucking world
-He’s a KING
-He’s very intelligent
-That fucking cat suit is good shit mane 👌🏿👌🏿💯💯 like he can claw the shit outta me anyday
-He’s an absolute badass??
-He’s a really fucking gOOD AND NOBLE AND HONORABLE person goddammit
-Like he realizes his mistakes and faults and then makes actual amends for these mistakes
‘Osho, is it alright to get married and have children?’
Sudharka, just meditate over a few of Murphy’s sutras.
First: It is good to be married occasionally.
Second: A clever man tells a woman he understands her, a stupid man tries to prove it.
Third: Marriage is a three-ringed circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffer-ring.
Fourth: Marriage may make the world go round, but so does a punch in the nose.
Fifth: Saving a marriage from divorce: the only way is not to show up for the wedding.
Sixth: A woman is God’s second mistake—man is the first obviously—and two wrongs together don’t make a right.
And the last: A woman is entitled to life, liberty, and pursuit of man.
So beware! If you want to get married, who am I to object? I can only make you a little more aware. Think before you jump!
‘Baby, which do you prefer?’ whispered Charlie to his girlfriend, ‘beautiful men or intelligent men?’
‘Neither, darling, you know I love only you!’
The preacher at the wedding was an ardent fisherman who was forced to postpone his fishing trip for a couple of hours to conduct the ceremony.
‘Do you promise to love, honour and cherish this woman?’ he asked the bridegroom.
‘I do,’ pledged the groom.
‘And do you promise likewise?’ he asked the bride.
‘I do,’ she said.
‘Okay,’ affirmed the preacher as he hastily closed the book and turned to the bride. ‘Reel him in!’
A subject of many Athenian jests was the self-control of Socrates in dealing with his shrewish wife, Xanthippe. Once she scolded him loudly and ended by throwing a pail of hot water at him. With philosophic calm he turned to a disciple and said, ‘I told you that rain always follows thunder.’
Somebody asked Socrates, ‘Do you believe, as some poets do, that a man is incomplete until he is married?’ He said, ‘Yes, a man is incomplete until he is married, then he is finished.’
A young man asked Socrates if he should get married, and Socrates replied, ‘By all means, young man, get married. If you find a good wife, you will be happy; if you find a poor one, you will be a philosopher.’
And he was saying that out of his own experience.
So, Sudharka, if you want to get married, do it by all means—I will not prevent you. I never prevent people from making mistakes, because that is the only way they learn. It needs tremendous intelligence to learn from other people’s mistakes—it is very rare. Even if you can learn from your own mistakes, that is something very great! People are so foolish that they go on making the same mistake again and again. So do it by all means, just remain a little aware.
A circus train had derailed and the car containing the lions had broken open and ten of the animals had escaped. The sheriff quickly organized a posse to track them down. As the men were getting ready to ride off in several directions, he said, ‘Men, it’s a bit chilly tonight so before we go, let us go across the street to the tavern and I’ll stand everybody a few drinks.’
They all gathered at the bar and ordered whisky, except for one man.
‘Why aren’t you drinking?’ the sheriff asked. ‘Don’t you want to get warmed up before we start out?’
‘I want to stay warm all right,’ the man said, ‘but I sure don’t want any whisky before I start hunting a bunch of lions because whisky would give me too much courage!’
So just remain a little sober—too much courage can be dangerous!
And you also ask about children… That is going a little too far, because if you get married it is only a question of you and your wife; nobody else is involved in it. But if you start producing children then the whole world is involved in it. THAT I cannot say you should do!
And if you are here then the best thing will be to find a sannyasin and get married to a sannyasin. Then children can be avoided very easily, because it is very difficult to persuade any of my sannyasins to have children.
Once a pot of black coffee fell desperately in love with a bottle of milk. After convincing her that he was a really great guy, they finally got married.
Some time passed and he began to dream about having children, inventing such names as ‘White Nescafé,’ ‘Café Russe,’ etcetera. As he told her of his longings, she immediately turned away, saying, ‘No… no, darling.’ He didn’t see her point, but as he loved her he decided to wait.
After some time he again tried, but once again she didn’t want to give it any juice.
Knowing that he would be cooling down soon, he tried a third time. ‘Why not, my love, why not?’ he asked.
‘Well, ahem…’ she uttered, ‘well… you know… er… I’m sterilized!’
But I don’t think you will be able to understand all these jokes. If you can understand all these jokes you will not get married at all!
But even people who don’t understand jokes have to laugh here, otherwise they look very stupid—very English! The parents of my personal dentist, Devageet, are here—and they are proper English people. Their only complaint is that they can’t get many of the jokes, but still they laugh just to be polite!
After years of working hard and saving, a New York couple finally had accumulated enough money to take a trip to Israel.
They toured the entire country and spent time in the big cities as well.
One evening in Tel Aviv they decided to see what the Israeli night life was like. So they went to a night dub.
They enjoyed the singer tremendously but, unfortunately for them, the comedian did his entire act in Hebrew.
The wife sat patiently in silence throughout the monologue; her husband, however, laughed uproariously at every joke. The woman was, to say the least, surprised.
‘So how come you laughed so much?’ she asked when the act was over. ‘I didn’t know you knew Hebrew.’
‘I don’t,’ said the husband, ‘but I trusted him!’
Egg!Daddy being real sweet when his Mini!Toaster makes a little mistake.
((One of the Minis doodle on Saitama's cape; but like the good daddy he is, he not only doesn't get mad but wears in to work.
-After defeating a giant monster, Mumen arrives on the scene to help lead the first wave of heroes to seek out any citizens who might have been caught in the earlier blasts.-
Great job on taking on the monster today, Saitama-kun.
Sure, no problem. Thanks for taking care of the citizens for us. [-he nods as he turns to him-]
Hm?...Uh, Saitama-kun, what happened to your cape? [-points to it as he notices something a bit off about it-]
Oh this…? [-pulls it around to show a doodle of some sort drawn all over it-]…Well….
-Earlier That Day-
-Looking around the room in his half-zipped up suit-
Hey, has anyone seen my cape? [-He calls out as he looks under the couch cushion.-]
Uhm…Sensei…[-Comes out of the bathroom with Gou hiding close behind him.-]
Hm? What’s up?
Gou has something he wants to say to you…[-gently pushes him forward, though he’s very reluctant to come out as he looks down on the ground.-] Come on, Gou.
-Saitama looks down at him confused as he looks on the verge of tears before pulling something out from behind his back.-
Ah, hey my cape. Thanks, Gou…[-Is about to take it, but then notices his grip on the folded fabric.-] Huh? [-still uncertain of what’s going on as he looks up at Genos for answers.-]
Er…Sensei, please don’t be too upset with him. He was trying to imitate Nii and learn to draw, but he hadn’t realized that he was using ‘that’ beneath his paper.
-Blinks as he finally takes the cape in hand and unfolds it to find a drawing of a giant monster terrorizing a city. Gou is feeling very anxious as he looks at the picture.-
..I’m sorry, Sensei….[-he whimpered softly as he sniffed, certain he’d be angry that he ruined his treasured uniform.-]
-Although Saitama was quiet for a few seconds, he eventually reached a hand out to Gou. He flinched thinking he was going to smack him on the head as a form of discipline, but was surprised to feel him stroke his head.-
Thanks, Gou. I’ll be sure to wear this proudly at work. That’s supposed to be me, right? [-He asked as he pointed out to a flying yellow figure with a white cape and a distinct set of red gloves and boots. -]
[-He wiped his eyes and nodded with a small smile-]
[-ruffles his hair again-] It’s one of the best drawings of me. Thanks.
-Puts the cape on as Genos smiled at him before he gave him a kiss as Gou gave him a hug.-
Well I’m off.
-Back to Present-
I’d thought I’d promote my kid’s skills. Plus I think it’ll send a new trend out there.
(Saitama-kun, you’re a real great parent…but not so much a fashion expert….;; )
[Angelo, though he knows Japanese enough to not be atrocious at communication, he still struggles with cultural differences. Sometimes he’ll make a mistake in greeting or table etiquette without meaning to, though he’s been attempting to get better—even more so considering he has to sometimes speak with yakuza bosses and would rather not offend for…obvious reasons. Because he’s a foreigner, he’s not often looked at too badly for mistakes because they’re aware of his effort and he apologizes quickly if he notices, but he wants to make a stellar impression, not just a good one. He also has a hard time reading kanji and writing it, his writing akin to that of a child more than a grown man.
It takes him like 5000 yrs to read a menu pls save him.
Considering his penchant for languages, he’s often sent to handle business for the Vanetti family since he does rather well (speaking wise, anyway). However, unless it’s a language closer to Italian, he might make a mistake here and there.]
Harvey opened and closed his phone again, staring at the empty screen. She hadn’t replied his whole drive home. Man, was he still in the doghouse.
So he picked up some grocery store flowers. The bouquet in hand, he parked in the driveway and got out of the car. She wouldn’t forgive him, not yet. Hell, he didn’t ever expect her to. Mistake. He was really fucking good at making mistakes.
“Fuck…” he mumbled, struggling with the key while holding his leather jacket in one hand and the bouquet in the other.
“Harvey?” came a voice, but it wasn’t Harleen’s.
“Wha-?” he stopped mid-phrase, mouth dropped open. “No, no, no. You can’t…you can’t be here. Uh…” he eyed around frantically, leaving the keys in the door while trying to get the woman away. “Ginny…” The door opened to a very pissed off looking Harleen.
Oh, you’re just a Man
She, just Woman
Both of your shadows
Are infinitely thin.
Jane’s bones will break
Just the same as Paul’s;
They both will feel
Thousands of falls.
Their lives are the same
With Paul’s a bit richer,
Their minds are the same
Not one is thicker.
Her body is strong
His feelings are true
Her mistakes aren’t her all;
Even he can feel blue.
He too can cry
The same, they’ll both die.
In a casket they lie
Bones all be left.
Death cares not
Of Breast or Manhood
But rather of life
For bad or for good.
Oh, she’s just a Woman,
You, but a man
But make no mistake:
They both will be damned.