the men in this show are my life i love them too much

How I see kpop groups and their traits

Exo: referred to as gods by the future generation; they could release an album full of high pitched screaming and still would make the best selling kpop album; china line who?; we are 1 what?; korean members with chinese stage names; don’t let the satan near you; yehet, kkaebsong; give Sehun lines

Bts: from nowhere to everywhere; hyperactive kids making good music; kids with mental health issues doing vanalism; they look at you - you faint;  shit down, beach - bitch?, ikskjuz miii; zoo; give Jin lines

Ikon: B.I, Bobby and friends; favoritism by yg; “the next bigbang”, but yg seems to forget about them so does the crowd; being hyped up then ending up disappointed; capable of doing good music but refuses to; give chanwoo lines

Got7: no mvs in the future just videos of them dabbing; b side tracks always better than the titles; acrobatics until their neck breaks; not so creative fandom name; bamx2 is big; jaCSon, hard carry by Monsta x

Winner: searching for them - error404: nowhere to be found; somewhere in the yg building; Taehyun had enough shit, wants his own band, searching for members through tumblr; capable of being unique, yg aint letting them; let them break out   

Day6: now 5live, nope, day8, members: sungjin, wonpil, dowoon, youngk, jae, chicken little, brian, younghyun; the one who has a stage name but seems like everyone is forgetting about it; dancing king; hashtag king; let dowoon sing

Astro: too much sugar in my eyes i can’t see; too pure for you; won’t ever do other than cute concepts;  michael jackson; giant maknae; voice cracks for life; new generation of flower boys

Seventeen: too many; pledis has a thing for girly boys; pledis’ only income; leg breaking choreos; adore u remakes as title tracks; no dark concepts in the future; sebeuntin; carrots, mounteen; slipping here and there; dino nugu aegi; thughao, 10:10; divaboo; noone looks like suga; jeongcheol, meanie; give china line lines

Vixx: concept kings but kinda ran out of concepts; oldschool kpop feel; from vixx ravi to solo ravi - full upgrade; one of the prettiest fandom names; endless leader bullying; serial killer; let the maknae line sing

Shinee: going strong since 2008; people seem to pay less attention to them; taemin upgraded; weird fashion taste - key; cola cola; don’t sleep on them

Infinite: dope intros - give you chills; old kpop sound, unique sound; scorpion dance, live singing + synchronized choreos; dinosaur who’s laugh can be heard without a mic; endless leader and maknae bullying; saved woollim; give sungyeol and sungjong lines

Monsta x: future strippers; stuck between hiphop and sexy concepts; wtf is going on here mvs, gay mvs; cringiest fandom name; weird noises by the rapper; damn daniel; how to learn hungarian by changkyun; abs, memes; ten years later: waiting for their first win; mosta x, moista x, monster x;  give hyungwon lines; 

Bigbang: legends; noone can dance, too lazy to dance; fashionistas; min hyorin; yg = bigbang

B.a.p: started to rise - shit happened - nobody cares about them anymore; getting killed or killing others in mvs; unappreciated dancers and rappers; high notes for life; actual meaningful lyrics

Block b: zico and the boys; biggest weirdos of them all; no friendship just business; give jaehyo lines

Nct: taeyong and the boys; pouring salt at the wounds; mess of a noise music; rotating as much that i can already see the tornado; dozens of units; horrible fashion; unnecessary ps; damn hoverboard skills; great vocals being hidden; johnny somehow managed to get out; let hansol free; give lines to everyone

Pentagon: putting them through an unnecessary scripted survival show to make people foget about some disbanded groups (4minute); sm and yg let some gems slip out from their hands, at least they are not in the dungeon; giants and dwarfs; ugly crying; lame jokes; ultrasound screams; nudity; wooyu; yutoda; give shinwon lines

Btob: being forgotten by cube; weird, extra; slowly turning into a ballad group; is minhyuk a rapper?; give peniel lines

Beast: what is happening with u cube? shit happened; new name - bea5t?;  lost their spirit after shit happned; great lives 

Suju: waiting for ot15; shit still happening; growing out of kpop; concepts don’t match their age; still waiting for kibum; don’t forget about zhoumi & henry; diaries of a married man; being succesful in the military

Nu’est: best debut song ever; had the most potential as a rookie group; pledis messed up; now they’re popular anywhere besides korea; getting worse and worse title songs; aesthetic mvs; creative fandom name; again pledis has a thing for girly boys

Ft Island: hongki and the others; awesome dope music (let’s not count puppy here); people don’t appreciate quality music anymore; this gem is lost in the ocean of cute, badass & hiphop concepts; pretty fandom name

Cnblue: another gem; better japanese releases; boring new songs because they have to fit into the kpop standard; yonghwa’s unique teeth; visuals; let the others sing

SF9: another group coming from a survival show; covering their seniors’ songs so they can’t even recognize them; thumbs up for the K.O choreography; don’t go with them to amusement parks; deep af voice maknae; park jimin 2.0; hwiyoung got them lines in roar

KNK: a bunch of idiots - literally; tall af; models af; old school kpop feels; if you hear someone laugh hysterically from afar it’s probably them; falling dramatically to the floor while doing so; choking sounds; don’t let them feed you; horlolololo; astro x knk; bullying sanha

2PM: definition of men; hella hot bodies; starting to be unknown; when was their latest first win?; manly concepts; awesome vocals; the rap is still meh; go crazy is a jam y’all; great actors

U-Kiss: so many member changes; lit songs, but not getting appreciation; don’t complain about your faves not getting 1st place like 2 months after debut - it took for them years; the first kpop fathers; they need a comeback soon

B1A4: great vocals again; don’t let them being forgotten; cnu just rocks the short hair admit it; baby i’m sorry is one of the best kpop songs; but great ballads as well

Teen top: they need to go back to their previous style; cap rocking them tattoos; hilariously funny group - watch their weekly idol; promoting as five now - anticipate their comeback

Everyone please note that i dont mean to offend neither the groups neither the fans. its just for fun and me being 100% sarcastic by these statements. i love and respect these groups with all my heart!
sorry, its a bit long.

star-anise  asked:

PLEASE talk about the kind of shit Bitty and Tater would get up to without Jack or someone more level-headed there to restrain them.

lisTEN Tater and Bitty have like, not a single impulse control between the two. Oftentimes people get fooled by Bitty’s politeness, need for a clean kitchen, and preference for people not to spit on the ground (LOOKING AT YOU, NURSEY, YOU GROSS COLLEGE BOY) and think, this is a reasonable and level headed young man! they are wrong. 

Tater: B! What if I get huge soda bottles, big ones, and shake them. 

Bitty: D: that makes it go flat though, do you not like the fizz?

Tater: *shakes his head* No, no. I strap them onto me and shake them and then BOOM! I fly. 

Bitty: Hmm, I don’t think so…

Tater: :((((((

Bitty: You’re too gosh darn heavy! Strap it on me! 

Tater: :DDDDDDDD


Tater: B! B! Guess what!

Bitty: I don’t know, why don’t you tell me?

Tater: *shows a picture* new motorcycle! I see it, I like it, now it’s mine!

Bitty: *fans himself really hard because he LOVES those bikes* oh dear

Tater: You one of my best friend. First person I ask to ride with me. 

Bitty: Mister Tater! I am delighted and honored! 

And then they proceed to ride the motorcycle WITHOUT A HELMET until they get pulled over by a cop, and tater’s telling the story to the team later and jack hyperventilates because HIS BOYFRIEND WAS ON A MOTORCYCLE WITHOUT A HELMET.


One day jack walks into the kitchen to find Tater with tears streaming down his very red face as Bitty feeds him pieces of what looks like mini pie and asking “how about this? is this spicy enough?” 

“I’m feel dying and my soul return to heaven. Not enough. Do more.” 


Tater: What I’m be for Halloween? Has to be sexy. 

Bitty: Haha what about a stripper

They look at each other and an electrical moment passes between them

Tater: I’m go shave my legs now!!! 

Bitty: Yes you do that and I’m going online right NOW to find the perfect costume!!! 

Tater: WHY THIS RAZOR SO SHARP??

Bitty: here let me shave you! 

And then when Tater’s practicing his routine, he routinely asks Bitty whether it’s sexy enough. He’s not doing it very close to Bitty (bc Bitty’s personal space expands when there’s stripping involved by ppl other than jack)

Tater: Weird to ask Jack, you know. He my teammate.

Bitty: I completely understand, and oh dear this is making me blush! *giggles* 

Tater: *performs another body roll*

Bitty: *giggles* 


That one time Bitty went to the hospital because Tater thought it would be a funny prank to empty out a windex bottle and pour blue gatorade in it so Bitty can shock everyone, but someone accidentally switched the bottle so Bitty drank a mouthful of actual windex. 


I feel like Tater’s like the one person who finally convinced Bitty to try weed? Like in the sense that Tater’s never tried it because the fear of his parents is strong, and Bitty’s only had contact high before and never bothered with actually trying it himself. And Tater is curious bc it seems like a lot of the college athletes are high and he wants to try! And Bitty because oh well, if you want to try it I’ll do it too! 

They chose a time during the off season, so that Tater won’t get in trouble. And Bitty makes the most delicious weed brownies in existence. And then Tater promptly forgets that they’re weed brownies and eat wayyyy too much and Bitty’s too high to deal with him and Jack comes home to two grown men giggling over his couch. (Tater’s okay, bitty made sure not to bake too much.) 


That one time Tater wrenched his shoulder dabbing with Bitty on the ice. 


When Bitty was super drunk and Tater handed him a banana and Bitty deepthroated it in front of everyone and then promptly choked and almost died. 


That time they were lighting fireworks with their bare hands and didn’t get injured at ALL. 


Georgia had to give a little talk to Jack about how tater and bitty should never be left alone, and maybe Jack can thirdwheel some of their hangouts a little bit more?

Jack: I’m the one dating Bitty, you know. 

Georgia: He’s an amazing person, but I also need his friendship with Tater to change into something less life threatening. 

Can I just say I have a lot of opinions about JJ, especially from a Westerner’s point of view? Specifically, the way he’s treated by the other skaters in YOI? JJ is loud, boisterous, and toots his own horn at every chance. Does this make him a bad guy? No way. In fact, all it does is paint a picture of how the rest of the world views people from America. Now, I’m from the US, so I can’t really speak for Canada, but I have quite a few Canadian friends and we are all, by definition, “North Americans”. I notice that our cultures aren’t really that different- specifically our social culture. Most Western young men act A LOT like JJ does- making jokes at other peoples’ expenses, trying to one-up everyone around them, be it verbally or otherwise, being really competitive and thriving in a competitive atmosphere, and generally just being very loud and obnoxious. 

Keep reading

After Hours [m]

pairing: reader x Yoongi

Genre: tattoed!yoongi, rapper!tyoongi, angst? fluff? smut, idk how to label this haha

word count: 16,212

warnings: graphic sexual content, alcohol, language

a/n: this is loosely based of Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist. i am v nervous about this as it isn’t the usual angst fueled plot I normally write. so if it’s crap, please be kind haha. i’m tagging the lovely @dimplecoups​ because i know you’ve been waiting for this. and @2seoke for always being the best babe.

Originally posted by lethargicmin

You looked in the mirror, making sure your face mask was properly in place. If you were going to look like a serial killer for the next 20 minutes, you at least wanted to look the part. Your bed was calling your name as you walked over to the soft mattress, choosing to ignore the missed calls and text messages from your best friend. This was the first Saturday night you had to yourself in months. No work. No brother. No best friend. You were free to do whatever you wanted.

Or at least that’s what you had originally intended. But as the door to your bedroom crashed open you soon realized that the night had other plans for you.

“Why haven’t you answered my calls?” your best friend Irene squealed as she plopped down at the foot of your bed. “It’s Saturday night and I know you don’t have to work tomorrow!”

You gave her a look. Well, you tried to give her a look to the best of your ability as the motions of your face was restricted by the sheet mask on top of it. “There’s a reason why I didn’t answer your calls. And just because my idiot brother gave you a key to our apartment doesn’t mean you can just waltz in here any time you want.”

Irene rolled her eyes, blowing a large bubble from the gum she was constantly chewing. She was clearly not amused at your disinterest on leaving your apartment tonight. You reached forward, popping it with your pointer finger. “You’re no fun, Y/N” she whined, collecting the gum back into her mouth.

“I can’t have fun when I’m always too busy taking care of you.” you quipped, reminding her of the last time the two of you went out. “I had to beg that cop not to give you a ticket for being drunk in public. Why aren’t you bothering my brother? I’m sure he would love to see you.”

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✰ * º ❛ even more popular text posts ask meme. ❜

‘  my kink is getting some fuckin sleep.  ’
‘  omg here goes your lil crybaby ass.  ’
‘  the beatles wouldn’t even fucking exist if big time rush hadn’t paved the path for them so shut the fuck up.  ’
‘  don’t start buddy. don’t you dare.  ’
‘  gay rights? true, as a gay, i am always right.  ’
‘  not to vent, but: fuck.  ’
‘  the worst pain is to make small talk with someone you once told everything to.  ’
‘  i think i accidentally break my own heart a lot.  ’
‘  sometimes ‘brb’ stands for ‘be ready bitch’ so you have to be careful.  ’
‘  i want to kiss you in a way that makes you not want to kiss anyone else ever again.  ’
‘  shout out to the people who are still friends with me even though i’m a fucking idiot.  ’
‘  it’s safe to assume that at any given moment i want to go back to bed.  ’
‘  i’m a big fan of anything that will help me chill the fuck out.  ’
‘  i don’t go through people’s pictures on their phone cause i wasn’t raised in the jungle.  ’
‘  i think we, as a people, just need to have a glass of water.  ’
‘  i don’t have enough black clothes.  ’
‘  sweetie, i could sleep for ten years and i’d still be tired.  ’
‘  i would sleep so much better with your arms wrapped around me.  ’
‘  me??? tired??? sleepy??? yes, constantly.  ’
‘  i’m pb&j – petty, bitter, and jealous.  ’
‘  the fact that sloths aren’t extinct somehow proves that if you go at your own pace and mind your own fucking business you too can succeed.  ’
‘  i wish i could be the person i want to be, but i’m too tired.  ’
‘  i always look sleep deprived. is that hot?  ’
‘  just because there’s always room for improvement doesn’t mean you’ll never be good enough.  ’
‘  my heart is a soft and sensitive mess.  ’
‘  all i want is a big garden and no responsibilities.  ’
‘  honestly someone not liking beyonce is a deal breaker and not for any political reasons, but just like you’re probably, definitely really boring.  ’
‘  hey guys, i’m a huge fan of genuine love and affection.  ’
‘  now i’m falling asleep and she’s calling a crab and he’s having a smoke and she’s kissing the crab.  ’
‘  i’ve been ever since i heard ‘lonely’ by akon at 9 years-old.  ’
‘  my new years resolution is to stop.  ’
‘  i’m irritated cause i’m not lovable in a romantic soulmate way.  ’
‘  i hate knowing that people that ruined parts of me still live and function like nothing ever happened.  ’
‘  i know i’m cute, but you can remind me.  ’
‘  hey, just wondering, but are you fucking kidding me????  ’
‘  i can’t wait to be in love with someone who is also deepfuck in love with me and we love each other forever n’ ever.  ’
‘  me? clingy? yes. please don’t leave me.  ’
‘  girlfriend application compatibility question: do you keep your depression pile on the bed or on the floor?  ’
‘  anything heart shaped is automatically 200% better. this is a fact.  ’
‘  today’s agenda: screaming into the abyss.  ’
‘  going from ‘today is a good day’ to ‘i hate my life’ takes me approximately 2.6 seconds.  ’
‘  everyone needs to wash their face and go to bed.  ’
‘  i’m worth so much more than the ways i’ve been treated.  ’
‘  hey, can i claim you guys as dependents on my taxes?  ’
‘  i really just ignore phone calls. like leave a message. i don’t check those either but like  ’
‘  i honestly just want to pack my bags and go travel the world and see and explore everything possible.  ’
‘  remember being little and thinking dandelions were fun or a pretty color or something and every adult in an 80 mile radius wouldn’t let you say that without screaming IT’S A WEED.  ’
‘  why did we just accept catdog?  ’
‘  my ‘stay in bed all day’ game’s too strong.  ’
‘  you deserve to be loved without having to hide the parts of yourself that you think are unlovable.  ’
‘  i always forget that i literally don’t owe anyone anything!  ’
‘  i wonder what it feels like to know what the fuck is going on.  ’
‘  honestly… us girls? us women? we always out here, knowin.  ’
‘  would an alien think i’m pretty?  ’
‘  i love boys, but only as a concept.  ’
‘  why do parents get mad when you sleep in all day? like i’m staying out of trouble and i’m not spending your money like what’s the issue here????  ’
‘  i identify as an inconvenience to the world.  ’
‘  i seriously regret telling anyone, anything, ever lmao  ’
‘  dating me is like dating a five year-old. i need all of your attention and i’m cranky if i haven’t had a nap.  ’
‘  i’m literally tired of myself.  ’
‘  don’t introduce me to ur parents unless you plan on marrying me because they’re going to love me and ask about me for the rest of your life lol  ’
‘  what the hell is a straight person? only straight thing i know about is the edge of my beloved sword.  ’
‘  i highly recommend never having feelings.  ’
‘  self care is going into a cornfield at night to get abducted by aliens.  ’
‘  staying up late with another human is such a weird thing like you get this special bond and a what-is-this feeling  ’
‘  do u ever feel like ur not even friends with ur friends?  ’
‘  um no offense but whom’st’ve going to loveth me?  ’
‘  date a girl who fucks everything up.  ’
‘  not all who mcfreakin wander are mcfreakin lost.  ’
‘  i may legally be an adult but don’t be fooled. i have no idea what i’m doing.  ’
‘  a fun and interesting fact about me is that i’m a fucking idiot.  ’
‘  you can start again anytime!  ’
‘  all you can do is learn your lesson. there’s no point in wishing you had did differently. the past is the past.  ’
‘  i can’t believe an angel like me has to suffer so much.  ’
‘  you’re all so obsessed with love and being loved. what about just going to sleep?  ’
‘  i’m smart, but i do dumb shit anyway.  ’
‘  tbh i never deal with my emotions. i just let them ravage my body and then go to bed and then i wake up and do it all over again.  ’
‘  first of all: i don’t know shit, so jot that down.  ’
‘  i’ll just ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯ my way through life.  ’
‘  i’m tired of things costing money.  ’
‘  don’t you hate it when you’re dead inside and run out of apps to refresh?  ’
‘  who cares? do better, move on.  ’
‘  i don’t need a significant other. just a significant income.  ’
‘  appreciation for everyone who’s ever talked to me bc i’m annoying and dumb.  ’
‘  thnks fr th mntl llnss.  ’
‘  what  hasn’t killed me has just made me overly sensitive and defensive.  ’
‘  i don’t know shit ya’ll!!!!! i’m just out here.  ’
‘  binge-watching is great until you run out of the show and have to start watching it weekly like some sort of medieval peasant.  ’
‘  i’m in the wrong realm and i think everyone can tell.  ’
‘  this might come as a shock but I’m Not Feelin too good my dudes.  ’
‘  i’m alive, but only ironically.  ’
‘  there she goes again being over dramatic and by she, i mean me.  ’
‘  do you ever feel like have tried Too Hard to a friend and now you have become That Obnoxious Weirdo?  ’
‘  lgbt: lasagna! garfield’s beloved treat.  ’
‘  my favorite phrase in the english language is ‘i shit you not.’  ’
‘  i’m a real boring bitch! a snoozer!  ’
‘  i honestly look so good lounging in an oversized t-shirt and no pants. when will someone experience the blessing of domestic living w/ me?  ’
‘  you don’t understand how hard it is to take a selfie when you’re ugly.  ’
‘  you son of a mumford!  ’
‘  hi, i’m here to ruin everything.  ’
‘  you can tell a lot about a person by looking at their hands. for example, if it’s a skeleton hand then they’re dead.  ’
‘  the year is 2020 and i am found guilty of treason against the united states for vague blogging that i hate someone and donald trump thought it was about him.  ’
‘  everybody calm down, we’re going to be fine! :))) we’ve weathered worse than this! :) :) :) :) really all this panic just seems like a huge overreaction imho   ’
‘  no beta readers. we publish our crap writing like men.  ’
‘  i need $$$$$ not feelings.  ’
‘  ‘idk imma see’ = i ain’t coming, never was coming, never considered it, never gave it a single thought, only remembered cause you asked again.  ’
‘  oops, i don’t care lol  ’
‘  why girls always crop the halo out of their selfies? stop being so modest. we know the truth.  ’
‘  maurice, you’re not gonna fucking believe this,  ’
‘  i always get told i look like a bitch bc i’m always glaring while i walk, but i’m not glaring, i’m squinting. i have sensitive eyes. they’re watering.  ’
‘  concept: it’s 3 am. candle lit room. a record is spinning. you’re kissing me. we have no worries in the world. we’re warm and content.  ’
‘  i need to go into the forest and scream for an hour and a half.  ’
‘  pls kill all men who yell at girls from cars.  ’
‘  life really isn’t what i expected it to be. less quicksand. almost no quicksand to be honest. lots of metaphorical quicksand tho.  ’
‘  i have a question for u: like are u done… like is it over?  ’
‘  we all have that one person who ruins your day by being alive.  ’
‘  we all have that one person who ruins your day by being alive. for me, it’s myself.  ’
‘  whenever i see police i always try not to act suspicious and fail internally even though i never did anything wrong.  ’
‘  new years resolution: less bitter, more glitter.  ’

US Presidents As Dril Tweets
  • George Washington: another day volunteering at the betsy ross museum. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the flag. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it
  • John Adams: "ah boo hoo hoo i want to post Foul comments to content leaders" Fat Chance, Dimwit. I will annihilate you under bulwark of the Law and God.
  • Thomas Jefferson: Q: If your post was proven by a counsil of wise men to be racist, or bullshit, would you bar it from the record? A: I do not delete my posts
  • James Madison: (sniffing a crumpled up one dollar bill i found on the floor of a dog kennel) ah.. thats greenbacks baby
  • James Monroe: for decades i have traversed the unforgiving mountains and rivers of south america, hoping to catch a glimpse of the fabled "ass downloader"
  • John Quincy Adams: "This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit
  • Andrew Jackson: handing Faves over to my enemies is FRAUD !! base, contemptible FRAUD!
  • Martin Van Buren: Food $200
  • Data $150
  • Rent $800
  • Candles $3,600
  • Utility $150
  • someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying
  • William Henry Harrison: (spends all of 7 seconds skimming some blog posts) yep. just as i knew all along. having pnuamonia is good
  • John Tyler: fuck "jokes". everything i tweet is real. raw insight without the horse shit. no, i will NOT follow trolls. twitter dot com. i live for this
  • James K. Polk: thhere is no such thing as charisma, and art is fake. the only metrics by which we must determine the worth of a man are Strength and Wisdom
  • Zachary Taylor: the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers tell me that im dying
  • Millard Fillmore: trying to heal..... please donate to my go fund me... $10 will make me less racist... $100 will make me extremely less racist...thank you...
  • Franklin Pierce: blocked. blocked. blocked. youre all blocked. none of you are free of sin
  • James Buchanan: #NationalGirlfriendDay please cherish your gal's.. in honor of us, the single Boys who must sacrifice all companionship to #CarryTheBrand...
  • Abraham Lincoln: unloading an entire belt of ammo at me with a minigun or some such device will now get you "Blocked"
  • Andrew Johnson: who the fuck is scraeming "LOG OFF" at my house. show yourself, coward. i will never log off
  • Ulysses S. Grant: i regret being tasked the emotional burden of maintaining the final bastion of morality and Nice manners in this endless ocean of human SHIT
  • Rutherford B. Hayes: using the toilet when i hear Our national anthem start to play. i do what i must. i stand tall in complete agony; as shit runs down my leg,
  • James A. Garfield: too much truth in such little time. feeling the heat cominh down to silence me... signing off........ for now
  • Chester A. Arthur: i WILL wise the fuck up. i WILL super charge my content for 2017. i WILL get blue check mark
  • Grover Cleveland: the way i see it, people who come on here and submit content that is not up to par, could possibly be considered the "Villains" of this site
  • Benjamin Harrison: i help every body, im not racist, i keep myself nice, and when i ask for a single re-tweet in return i am told to fuck off, fuck myself, etc
  • William McKinley: boy oh boy do i love purchasing large amounnts of Fool's Gold. wait a minute... fools gold fucking sucks. this stuff is no good..!! Fuck !!!
  • Theodore Roosevelt: IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL
  • William H. Taft: ah.. the perfect Souffle! cant wait to dig in to t(*EVERY PIPE IN MY HOUSE EXPLODES AT THE SAME TIME, COVERING ME IN SHIT AND BOILING WATER*
  • Woodrow Wilson: the conflicted supersoldier stares over the horizon as he smokes a cigarette. "war is the most fucked up thing ever." he takes a sip of beer
  • Warren G. Harding: somebody please Bribe me
  • Calvin Coolidge: aggressively joyless oaf hhere. painfully obnoxious respect demander checkign in. extremely dim witted frowning man looking for pals
  • Herbert Hoover: it is really quite astonishing that I have yet to win The Lottery, given how good I am at selecting six numbers and saying them out loud
  • Franklin D. Roosevelt: ive never heard of this “europe” but it sounds like a big bunch of shit to me
  • Harry Truman: everybody wants to be the guy to write the tweet that solves racism once and for all because it would look good as hell on a resume
  • Dwight D. Eisenhower: my "F*&k It!! Let's Go Golfin" t-shirt maintains a tenacious stranglehold on my life. after 1,125 days of Golf my body is twisted, deformed
  • John F. Kennedy: when you do sutuff like... shoot my jaw clean off of my face with a sniper rifle, it mostly reflects poorly on your self
  • Lyndon B. Johnson: incredibly handsome , charismatic famous boy credited with ending income inequality after saying that slumlords should be called "dumblords"
  • Richard Nixon: i attribute the complete failure of my brand to the actions of detractors, oor my “trolls”, as it were, as well as my own constant fuckups
  • Gerald Ford: shutting computer down until the shitty moods & attitudes can fuck off., if you need me ill be on my other computer, sititng 60° to my right
  • Jimmy Carter: i warnned you all that bad things would happen if you kept letting your wives wear jeans. AND NOW LOOK! the damn gas prices are up again
  • Ronald Reagan: spend a lot of time thinking about how sometimes even war criminals can be heroes sometimes... Dont like it? Click the unfollow buttobn
  • George H.W. Bush: just thought off an idea i believe to be bad ass. lets find the address of the leader of isis, and mail him/ her pieces of our SHIT
  • Bill Clinton: were at the point now, that when i offer to impregnate my girl followers, people assume my motives are sexual. disgusting, grow the fuck up,
  • George W. Bush: friday night gathering up together a big pile of things i like to respect (flags, crucifixes ,etc) and just roll around in it ,give kisses,
  • Barack Obama: my IQ has increased 10 points ever since i stopped tollerating people mucking about, on the time line
  • Donald Trump: no
A Sugar Baby’s Guide to a Luxury Wardrobe and Brands

FOLLOW ME ON MY SB INSTA ~ I have like no followers because I just started the account & would love to connect with more sugar sisters on another platform! I will be posting shopping hauls and inspiration photos. There will also be restaurant, bar and club recommendations and travel pics! SISTERS ONLY!!! @citysugarbabe


Disclaimer: This is my own opinion, and you are free to disagree! I am not being sponsored or gifted items by any of these brands (I wish!). I am simply just trying to share some of my style tips based off of my own wardrobe :) xo

Will continue to update as I think of more things! This was just off the top of my head. Feel free to send in suggestions, if I use it I will give you credit when I edit the post! Questions also welcome. 

Although I am relatively new to the sugar bowl, dressing stylishly and well is something I have done all of my life. I hope my advice can help others! A top, big fish SD is going to dress well, and he’s going to want his SB to do the same. You must exude confidence and style for him to want to pursue you. 

If you are a sugar baby looking to build an ultimate, timeless luxury wardrobe look no further - check out my guide below!

Basics:
T-shirts & Tank Tops - ATM (wonderfully flattering, especially for bigger busts), T by Alexander Wang, Helmut Lang, James Perse
Jeans - rag&bone/JEAN, J Brand, Citizens of Humanity, 7 for all Mankind, J Brand, Current/Elliott, AG Adriano Goldschmidt. Yes I love my denim :)
Anything with a blatant logo on it like True Religion is a NONO.
Shirts - Equipment
Sweatpants - I used to absolutely detest sweatpants but after seeing photos of Rihanna and Gigi rock them, I’m kind of into it. Have my eye on a pair from Fenty X Puma now!

Lingerie:
Agent Provocateur (DUH) has the most sexy pieces, they make you feel wonderful about yourself, however I would only wear their stuff to show off for my man. Their bras, corsets, bustiers etc. don’t give much support so if you’re just wearing them trying to run errands your boob may pop out of its cup lol! Very annoying to constantly keep having to tuck it back in under your shirt.

I have quite a large bust, so I shop at Journelle, Stella McCartney, Elle Macpherson, Nancymeyer.com and Chantelle because a lot of other nice brands don’t make my size as much (32DD/E) - these are for sexier but still functional pieces.

Calvin Klein and Victoria’s Secret for the most functional underwear.
Hanky Panky has great one size fits most thongs, and Commando for underwear for a tight dress or something that gives NO VPL (visible panty lines!)

Shoes:
Sneakers (for fashion, not the gym) - Golden Goose, Common Projects
Sneakers (for the gym) - Nike
Gianvito Rossi - The new Manolo in my opinion. Not as overdone and not flashy like Louboutins. Wonderfully classic. Something I’d wear to a dream job interview or meeting a boyfriend’s parents.
Louboutins - even though they’re a bit trashy now I still love the sex appeal of a red bottom.. who can resist?
Rochas does beautifully embellished flats that you can wear with a cocktail dress if you aren’t feeling heels!
K. Jacques for flat sandals. Made in St. Tropez but they sell it on Shopbop etc.
Chanel and Lanvin for ballet flats
Love Stuart Weitzman’s highland and lowland boots, even though it seems like everyone and their mother owns a pair. They’re just so flattering and I love that they have them in so many neutral colors.
I like Saint Laurent’s basic flat Chelsea ankle boots. Go with everything in the fall.

Dresses:
Dolce & Gabbana - I LOVE Dolce & Gabbana!! As I said I am quite curvy, and their dresses are absolutely made for my body type.
Cushnie et Ochs - Also sexy AF
Giambattista Valli - When you want to look like an elegant, high fashion flower child
Saint Laurent - SO expensive, more for the extremely thin Kate Moss types, but I just like to look anyways :)
Less expensive but still great: Zimmermann (love Aussie clothing brands), Wheels&Dollbaby, Nicholas, L’Agent, Reformation, For Love & Lemons, Maje

Sweaters:
Ralph Lauren, Loro Piana, Brunello Cucinelli
J Crew, Joie, Vince and Everlane (cheaper)

Coats/Jackets:
Maxmara for the elegant, most classic pieces EDIT 10/9/2016: Maxmara carries very well-cut and stylishly professional coats. Think Olivia Pope-esque. This is also where Kim K got her iconic camel wrap coat and yes, they still carry it. I have one!
AllSaints for a great rocker chic leather biker jacket - try a mens one to increase the cool factor
Rick Owens - Also great for leather jackets, but more elegant and definitely more expensive 
Chanel: Their tweed jackets and coats are ultimate and so timeless- wear one with a simple white t shirt, jeans and booties to achieve that Parisian je ne sais quoi.
Yves Salomon does a great fur coat, EDIT 10/9/2016: that isn’t AS expensive as other top fur designers… think $5000-$10,000 which is still mega expensive but still far cheaper than J Mendel whose furs can fetch up to 60k (or even more)! and the quality is still great. I used to get Elizabeth and James furs for like a $1000 but tbh they looked cheap. I think if you can’t afford good fur, it’s best to spend on other areas, because cheap fur just makes you look, well, cheap!

Bags:
Chanel. Duh.
Never used to like Gucci but their new horsebit Dionysus bags (in plain suede without the Gucci logo) are to die for
Valentino Rockstud (a little bit passé but I still like mine)
Mansur Gavriel for something timeless and not too flashy
Saint Laurent for a tote bag. If you’re young, in my opinion this is a much better alternative than an Hermes Birkin or Kelly. I think for a young girl to be carrying a Birkin is a little bit… much. Although if you have found an SD who will buy you a Birkin then I say the more power to you, you’re clearly doing much better than me and feel free to ignore my advice - if fact can I have your advice?? lol

EDIT OCT. 9, 2016:

Where do I shop?
Great question - so. many. places.

Online (just google the names, I’m too lazy to hyperlink haha. Maybe another day):

Net-a-porter: love, and they do same-day courier delivery in NYC, London and Hong Kong
Moda Operandi: swoon-worthy site. You can pre-order next season’s clothes custom made for you straight off the runway, and they show up at your door just in time for the season! You put a 50% deposit down when you place the order at first, and pay the rest a few months later when the clothing piece is completed. I trick myself into believing that it’s budgeting, lol.
Farfetch
Shopbop
Revolve Clothing
TheRealReal (You can get some GREAT designer pre-owned and vintage on the cheap here, AND sell your old designer stuff you don’t want anymore! Note they only accept from a preselected list of designers, check that your item’s brand is on the list before sending anything in to sell)
Vestiaire Collective (same as theRealReal)
Forward by Elyse Walker
SSENSE
TheOutNet (Net-a-porter’s sale site. I’ve found some fantastic deals here. But be sure to check everyday because they definitely sell out fast)
Barneys, Saks, Selfridges, Bergdorfs etc. - I know these are department stores, but their websites are surprisingly well-maintained and carry a really good stock of stuff from top designers.

Redemption // Jeon Jungkook

-

the prompt: Jungkook scenario when your pregnant unplan baby he finds the test when you get home he starts yelling, blaming you throwing things,tells you to gtfo of his life with the baby saying fucked up things. So you leave Korea 3 year later you come back with your daughter and you guys see each other again he tries to win you back angst beginning but fluff ending?

words: 8942

category: heavy angst + fluff ending

author note: it’s time to see how good destinee’s character development skills are. also y/n didn’t leave, jungkook did. hope that’s okay. im so proud of myself for writing this?? I didn’t give up and I’m glad i didn’t. anyway, this took forever to write you can literally see my writing improve as you keep reading its kind of funny anyway let’s go!

- destinee

Originally posted by sugutie

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Posting a picture of myself in a bathing suit is VERY hard for me. I have never been one to show off too much skin, and it’s not just because I’m a larger woman.
After this amazing #Wrestlemania weekend I had a chance to speak to a bunch of young women & men. Most, if not all of them, mentioned that my #BodyPositive mindset had helped them to be able to find confidence within themselves, which really touched me and even brought me to tears numerous times. Thankfully I have always had a family that has supported me and has always reminded me that my beauty comes from within, especially my mother. She constantly reminded me that “no matter how beautiful you are on the outside, if you’re insides are ugly, that will be what everyone sees & feels.” Don’t get me wrong, there have been many occasions where I wished I could be thinner or have a different nose or hairline to fit in, but I realized that fitting in is not always as important as it seems; I realized that I love standing out in positive ways!

I love sending a message of self-confidence and getting to share that with people. Self-confidence also goes along with being healthy! I work out all the time, I eat healthy & try (emphasis on TRY) to get as much sleep as I can. There are obviously times where I love to pig out and enjoy myself, but I always make sure to never lose my focus on being healthy, because no matter what, your health is the number one most important thing in life. We aren’t meant to look the same, but we are all meant to be healthy. We are all beautiful in different ways. Staying healthy adds to beauty. Even more importantly, it will increase your self-confidence. That’s been my experience at least 😉. #JaxJungle #NotLikeMost #PowerOfBeingYou

The M/M Shipping Thing: Misogyny, the Male Gaze, and Feminist and Queer Representation

Follow up post to this one, here. Read this to see my thoughts on the importance of allowing women to see men through a lens where male sexuality is something to be celebrated, not feared. Seems like a lot of people can relate to this, and I just love talking about it so have some more of my thoughts.

First of all, it’s a numbers game…

Going off of this point by @colt-kun which I’ve copied and pasted here. This gives a great overview of a purely statistical analysis of why m/m ships are more common.  

“There’s also the sheer numbers to take into account.

Take the first Avengers movie as an example (because frankly its one of the few recent blockbusters with two female speaking roles). Two females, Black Widow and Maria. Then eight males, Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, Hawkeye, Hulk, Loki, Fury, Coulson.

Not counting polyships/selfships for ease of math, and using the characters cisgender identities bc that is what they are largely seen as (no disrespect meant to any trans/nb interpretations)

Possible f/m ships: 16 (35.5%)
Possible f/f ships: 1 (2.2%)
Possible m/m ships: 28 (62.2%)

That’s not even accounting for screentime, character chemistry, interaction times, etc. thats just the NUMBERS.

When there’s a large disparity in character gender then yeah, you’re going to see a heavy inclination to m/m ships because that’s really ALL THATS POSSIBLE. The fans have a natural desire for more story and romances, they want to world build and AU. We’ve done that since stories were first told.

So of COURSE you’re going to see a lot of women - of all sexual orientations - leaning towards m/m pairings because when there’s only potatoes at the buffet… you eat the potatoes. Think of all the shows an movies with only one female character in a cast of men. Is it really difficult to see WHY there’s a lot of m/m ships there?”

Mainstream media is male-centered and male-dominated.

Going beyond just the numbers the fact is that in the majority of popular films and TV shows many of the female characters aren’t well-rounded or on screen as much as most of the men. There is a tendency for women to be the secondary characters or maybe to have one main female character. This makes it hard to really relate to and invest in a lot of the female characters out there. Not that people don’t, but it’s not going to attract a huge following.

Take Supernatural (low hanging fruit I know) where even if there are a large number of women that appear throughout the series, there aren’t many that stick around(and let’s not even go there with all of the deaths and how sexist that is right now ha)or interact with each other in a way that would lead to a lot of shipping. Even in my lovely Hannibal fandom, the Marlana ship which people love and people write for just isn’t going to have as much of a following just based on the fact that they aren’t the main characters. And Marlana is a good example of a w/w ship where they aren’t objectified, don’t die, and still it’s a secondary focus. There obviously are some exceptions, but they are few and far between.

Originally posted by astudyinwinchester



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anonymous asked:

maybe you meant to type lovely in the tags, but he does sound a bit lonely doesn't he?

No, I meant lonely, and it’s just my observation. I could be totally off.

I feel like Harry’s a very shrewd observer of people, and also an extroverted introvert.

Obviously he’s clever and entertaining when he’s out there telling jokes, performing, sassying muscle men and dads and older couples and charming little kids. And of course we see the public Harry at events and parties who’s a cute, cuddly drunk, who could make an impromptu 20-second video that’s better than anything a Hollywood video director could produce, just by being himself. He’s an endless source of fascination for everyone, really.

But there’s a lot of deflection, subterfuge, indirect reference in his interviews. The fact that he says the person he wrote Sweet Creature for may or may not know it’s about them means he’s never discussed it with them (if you believe Harry). The song comes from direct, personal feelings deepened and purified over time, until they were distilled into three-and-half-minutes of music. It’s the purest way a musician can write a confession. And it’s all interior.

Listen to the lyrics of SOTT, ESNY, Sweet Creature. There aren’t a lot of words. They are simple, direct, and repeated over and over. The harmonies are simple and repeated over and over too. The man knows what he wants to say.

I loved this interview so much because Zach Sang focused on Harry’s creative process, but was respectful of his private space (he seemed to sense where Harry’s do-not-cross tape was). Harry again talked about vulnerability, as if before this, he wasn’t allowed to express it. He also talked about an appreciation for the length of time he had to work on the solo album, and the people who allowed him his voice and vulnerability. The interview showed that all of these songs, feelings, thoughts had been there for a long, long time, but were kept private.

I don’t mean to imply that loneliness is a bad thing. Harry is a songwriter. Suffering, meditation, conflict, interior monologues all make for excellent art. The visual art that he collects and admires has these qualities too– of beauty and courage burnished through loneliness and suffering.

This observation struck me, too, when he was talking about his touring venues– that he has seen some of his favorite shows in these small, intimate, historical, acoustically perfect places.

First, he must have, at some point, thought it would be really cool to play these venues.

Second, he was going to feel less alone with a smaller audience– he was going to be able to convey an intimacy in a setting like that. It wouldn’t be to play to 100,000 anonymous screaming fans. It would be to play for his friends, he said. And he would play– basically the story of his life, to people who held on to his every word. I’d like to think that some of these friends might be the musical giants of history, watching him from above, the very people he venerates.

hiiii, here are a bunch of fics I’ve enjoyed and loved reading throughout the month of february. I recommend that you read these great fics in march, if you haven’t already. there are SO many good and unique AUs this round, so please check them out!!

(all fics with a star are my favorites and if there are two stars then it was a favorite favorite)


1. Saved Tonight (30k)**

Harry is the world’s most persistent seduction-baker, a questionable dog-sitter, and Louis’s biggest fan. Louis hasn’t written in years, is trying to pass loneliness off as cynicism, and absolutely hates his fans. It’s probably destiny.

2. Too Real to Fake It (82k)*

With seven years of blissful marriage behind them and four wonderfully unique kids to brag about, Harry and Louis seem to finally have life all figured out and under control. How much more real could it get?

Very real it turns out, when Harry reluctantly leaves home for a 5 day business trip leaving Louis to manage their rambunctious, hyperactive household. Do they really have it all under control or are they just faking it?

Featuring all the usual suspects, inside jokes, embarrassing moments and of course, Harry and Louis’ wild antics + the addition of their four equally wild and outrageous kids.

3. When You Look Like That (16k)*

“You… you still have the dress form I got you for your eighteenth birthday? You’ve kept it for ten years, Harry?” Louis’ eyes flick around Harry’s studio. It’s big and modern, with floor to ceiling windows that help flood the room in bright sunlight, just like the lobby. However, he can’t stop staring at the faded, but present, heart surrounding the “H + L” written delicately in Louis’ handwriting in the center of the mannequin.

Louis is a songwriter who is nominated for a Grammy and he needs a suit. Fast. He seeks out help from a very popular, very mysterious designer who just so happens to be his ex-boyfriend.

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victarionsrighthand  asked:

What do you think about Sansa's crush on Loras? Do you think it means something that no matter how much she seems to grow as a character she still holds a crush over some pretty knight that never really seemed to care about her and she still imagines him when she kisses people (even if her thoughts get directed back to sandor)

Well… Loras is a very safe crush.

Loras plays the role for Sansa that teen heartthrobs do for many adolescent girls, a safe exploration of their growing sexuality.

The idolization of teen idols typically begins in early adolescence when girls start to become interested in romance and dating and more aware of social norms which suggest that they should have romantic feelings for someone of the opposite sex (Simon, Eder, & Evans, 1992). Rather than dating in real life, developing a crush on a teen idol is a way for girls to acknowledge their emerging sexual feelings in a safe, non-threatening way (Engle & Kasser, 2005). Because teen boys are viewed by girls as only interested in sex (McRobbie, 1991), teen idols are a preferable option. Further, they often project a feminine form of masculinity that is sexually non-threatening and thus accessible to young girls (Engle &: Kasser, 2005; Karniol, 2001; McRobbie, 1991; Sweeney, 1994).

Bitten by Twilight: Youth Culture, Media, & the Vampire Franchise

One of the most popular ways people like to hate teenage girls is to complain about their “insane” crushes on boy band members. Now, let me fucking tell you something: those big dumb crushes are what helps a teenage girl develop her sexuality in a safe environment that she can control. In her world, she can listen to One Direction and hear all these songs about how great she is, and how much these cute non-threatening boys want to make her feel special. Why is this so important? Because no one is pushing them. There’s no fourteen year old boy shoving his clammy hands down your shirt without your consent. These fantasy boys are not convincing a girl to send naked pictures, only to show all their friends and call her a slut. In the fantasy land of boy bands, the girl has all the power. And we need to stop judging them for wanting to escape into that.

–Meghan Harper, “Why I Fucking Love Teenage Girls”

ASOIAF is a medieval-style world, so it of course doesn’t have pop idols and movie stars, but it does have tournaments and tourney champions, who play that role for the adolescent girls of Westeros. (And the boys, too. Consider Bran’s idolization of knights, especially the Kingsguard.) And Loras Tyrell is not just one of the best upcoming stars of the tourney scene, but he’s so dreamy handsome, young, and from one of the best families of Westeros. (Even Robert Baratheon crushes on him, in a manly way.)

Now, the fact that Loras is actually gay (as are so many teen heartthrobs - George Michael, we miss you) makes him even safer, whether Sansa consciously realizes it or not. This is all the more important, since because of the close circles of Westeros aristocracy, Sansa Stark has far more of a chance of personally interacting with Loras Tyrell than your typical teenage girl has with her most beloved Bieber or Zayn.

So when Sansa actually has the opportunity to meet Loras, is even led to believe she might marry him… the expression of her sexuality, while very real, is also very safe:

The sight of Ser Loras Tyrell standing on her threshold made Sansa’s heart beat a little faster.

Sansa was finding it hard to walk and talk and think all at the same time, with Ser Loras touching her arm.

I am talking to him, and he’s touching me, he’s holding my arm and touching me.

Desperately she tried to think of something clever and charming to say to him, but her wits had deserted her. She almost told him how beautiful he was, until she remembered that she’d already done that.

Ser Loras in white silk, so pure, innocent, beautiful. The dimples at the corner of his mouth when he smiled. The sweetness of his laugh, the warmth of his hand. She could only imagine what it would be like to pull up his tunic and caress the smooth skin underneath, to stand on her toes and kiss him, to run her fingers through those thick brown curls and drown in his deep brown eyes. A flush crept up her neck.

–ASOS, Sansa I

Or, for a visual representation:

Now, the trouble (or not?) is that this safe crush of Sansa’s is no longer something she can rely on. Whether it’s because of her aging into womanhood, or because of her actual experiences with sexuality – the dark masculine danger of Sandor Clegane, her marriage to Tyrion Lannister (including seeing him nude and sleeping next to him in bed for weeks), the explicit rape threats of Joffrey Baratheon and Marillion, the disturbing attentions and unfatherly kisses of Petyr Baelish – when she wishes to escape into her formerly favorite safe fantasy of Loras Tyrell, it twists away from her into something else:

Before she could summon the servants, however, Sweetrobin threw his skinny arms around her and kissed her. It was a little boy’s kiss, and clumsy. Everything Robert Arryn did was clumsy. If I close my eyes I can pretend he is the Knight of Flowers. Ser Loras had given Sansa Stark a red rose once, but he had never kissed her… and no Tyrell would ever kiss Alayne Stone. Pretty as she was, she had been born on the wrong side of the blanket.
As the boy’s lips touched her own she found herself thinking of another kiss. She could still remember how it felt, when his cruel mouth pressed down on her own. He had come to Sansa in the darkness as green fire filled the sky. He took a song and a kiss, and left me nothing but a bloody cloak.

–AFFC, Alayne II

Note that there are many analyses of “the unkiss” (link 1, link 2), Sansa’s imagined memory of being kissed by Sandor the night of the Blackwater, but what many point out is that it is again an attempt by Sansa of a safe fantasy, a subconscious attempt to control and understand and romanticize a frightening sexually-charged situation. It’s just several octaves away from her non-threatening fantasies of kissing and touching the “beautiful” Loras.

And though you say Sansa still holds this crush, please note that Loras is only mentioned in Sansa’s narrative once in AFFC (that scene above), where she recognizes that Loras’s attentions were nothing real, no kisses, just a rose. Also, when she thinks about the men who helped her in King’s Landing, Loras is not one of them. Furthermore, he’s not mentioned at all in her TWOW preview chapter – which, considering it focuses on an upcoming tourney and the young knights who wish to be its champions, should be a perfect occasion for the pretty knight Loras to stroll through Sansa’s head, and yet he does not.

So I would say that Sansa’s adolescent crush on Loras is something perfectly understandable… and also something she has outgrown. I hope that helps!

“Your wife is hot” - Bruce Wayne x Reader

Here’s for you :), and I thank you very much ^^

Part two

(My masterlist blog here : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com)

_______________________________________________________________________

The league discovered that Batman made files on all of them. Files in which were their secret identities, the way they could be defeated, and a all lot of personal details. And so they were…pretty mad at him. They felt like he betrayed their trust, while all he wanted to do was to make sure the World was safe. So the bat had to amend himself. He told all of them he was Bruce Wayne. And that’s the story of how a bunch of superheroes invaded your home. 

They first went to see the Batcave, which left you enough time to try and relax. It wasn’t everyday that you met the biggest superheroes of the World. You already encountered Superman, who was in real life Clark Kent, your husband’s best friend. You also were friend with Wonder Woman, having actually quite a lot in common with Diana Price. And your eldest son was friend with The Flash sidekick, Kid Flash, even though you never actually met Barry Allen, you felt like Wally told you enough things about him that you knew you’d probably get along. But the rest…Well, you were just super stressed. 

Of course, you knew all of them, extensively actually. You knew what they liked and didn’t like, their personality…Hum, you might have, MIGHT, read Bruce’s files on them. Curiosity. It was your biggest flaw. 

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10

SKETCHY BEHAVIORS | Heather Benjamin (RH)

Through her dense and detailed packed line drawings to her more focused ink brush pieces, Rhode Island based artist Heather Benjamin’s work is visceral, cathartic, and autobiographical. It offers a completely unapologetic and unflinching look into an artists’ own struggles with life, body image, self confidence, and sexuality.  We find her and her art to be inspirational, honest and badass.

We recently ran into Heather at her booth at the LA Art Book Fair and caught up with her a few months later to ask about her art, her experiences at RISD, her influences, and her thoughts about her work and her life. 

Photographs courtesy of the artist.

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star-anise  asked:

I challenge you to retell any piece of Jack or Bitty's college years as a series of in-universe RPF callout posts

**whispers** dammit this is clever and I’ve never done a real callout post so let’s see how this goes

*clears throat, we’re now in the land of my UBER SUCESSFUL in-universe rpf blog. My character will be one of an ex-Pimms shipper who’s been jaded by the discourse surrounding Jack’s OD.* 

Here’s a brief coverage of Fall Semester of Year Two: 

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Scream

credit to original owner for gif

Vampire! Yoongi

words: 2,981

genre: pure smut and some fluff if you squint

warnings: some degrading, explicit content (but isn’t that why you’re here?)

summary: you were supposed to get married off to a prince, not be sacrificed to Lord that just so happens to be the ruler of the Demonic World.

Waking up to the sound of glass breaking in the kitchen wasn’t exactly the best thing, but then again, it wasn’t the worst. Letting out a deep sigh, you got out of bed and made your way towards the kitchen, preparing for the worst. Upon stepping into view, your eyes widened at the sight. 

“Where is she?”

Pure bloods. One of the absolute worst kinds of being: they’re vile, ruthless. complete savages. They care for no one but themselves. Being the most feared, they walk the grounds as if they own it. It was only natural to obey them, either that, or die. Dressed in black from head to toe, you could help but pathetically let out a whimper in fear. Your father had blood dripping from his head, staining the marbled floors that he had worked so hard to put together, despite not bathing in riches like the other men in the village. Your sisters had already been married off to wealthy young men, unlike you who verbally and physically showed defiance to marrying a man who you did not know anything about. You would get beaten relentlessly, saying that you’re selfish for not sacrificing yourself for the sake of your parents. But you didn’t care. They treated you like shit so that’s all they were going to get. They never loved you, only the two women that came before you. Even though you were polite and obedient, they took advantage of your kindness and forced you to do everything they were able to do themselves. Soon enough, you grew out of the habit of being a sweet little girl. Now, you were deemed as a rebellious, wild, young woman who can’t be tamed. 

“She’s not ready for the Lord! We are still preparing her.” your father gasped for air as he let out a string of curses.

Dropping to the ground, you hid behind the wall, holding your breath as you watched the scene play before you. 

“He wants her. Now.” 

A hand clasped over your mouth, dragging you out from your corner. Thrashing relentlessly, you bit the hand and was harshly pushed to the ground in return.

“Found the little bitch hiding.” the man spat, glaring at you who was near tears as you stared them in the eyes.

“What do you want with me?” you said through gritted teeth.

“Your dear father didn’t tell you?” he looked over at your pathetic excuse of a guardian. “He signed you off to the Lord in return for a large sum of money. Exciting, isn’t it?”

A flash of fear swept over your features as you backed up, only to bump into another one of the Pure bloods.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. He’ll finish you off very quickly.” he flashed his fangs before fisting your hair, slamming your head against the ground which knocked you unconscious. 


The throbbing in your head caused you to eventually wake up only to find out that you were no longer at home, but in the home of a demon. You grabbed the sheets in anger. 

How dare they sell me off?

You were fuming with anger and sadness, but more importantly, you were starving. The room was dark, the only source of brightness being the moonlight that ever so gently shone from behind the sheer curtains. Not only had you been passed out the entire day, but you had never been so unproductive in your entire life. You’d be lying if you said it wasn’t nice to be living like this. Once again, you fearlessly crawled out of bed, groping the walls in hopes of finding a light switch. The room was big enough for at least two people, yet here you were, all alone. Finally, your hands found its way and flicked the switch, causing your eyes to be blinded by the bright light that consumed the darkness. 

 You gasped in shock. The room was beautiful, astonishing, everything you never had. It was what you dreamed about and more. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing before your very own eyes, but you knew that you were nothing more than a pawn in the devil’s game. Scanning the room, your eyes fell upon the victorian dress that hung gracefully over a chair, matched with glossy black heels and a large variety of jewelry. Crests of gold mixed with burgundy lured you closer and closer. The material was silky smooth, specks of lace here and there. Looking in the mirror at your dirty, ripped clothing, you sighed in defeat as you got ready to shower and so forth.

If I’m going to die at the hands of a demon, I might as well look good while at it

Henceforth after getting cleansed from all the dirt residue that lied beneath your fingernails and in the creases of your hair, you carefully dressed yourself in the dress as well as the heels. Splattering a small mist of perfume, you disregarded the jewelry, believing it was a bit too extravagant for someone as poor as you. You wanted to look beautiful, but you didn’t want to fake it all for the sake of someone who was going to kill you by the end of the night. Placing your hand on the doorknob, you let out a deep breath as you swung the door open only to be met with a seemingly never ending hallway full of large paintings on the walls. Observing each and every one as you made your way down, you overheard someone talking and felt eager to follow through. Turning the corridor, you saw two men standing around, talking to one another. Smiling, you began to approach them, eagerly waving as you had done so. 

“Last time I checked, she was asleep.”

“Is she as pretty as everyone’s been saying she is?”

“Of course. The Lord always chooses the best, it just sucks that she’s gonna die soon.”

“It happens all the time.”

You stopped in your tracks, looking down at your feet. Of course they were talking about you, but you didn’t want to hear those words fall out of their mouth. By the time you glanced back up, they were gone. Once again, you were all alone. A hand snaked its way around your waist, lips only a centimeter away from your ear as the figure spoke.

“Come with me.”

A chill traveled down your spine as you hastily agreed, despite not knowing what was to follow. He gently grabbed your hand, leading you down an unfamiliar hallway. You walked slowly behind him, observing everything that surrounded you. Sure, you were going to die, but you wanted to at least take your time and live the moment. You stepped into a room, mouth agape as you looked around. It was at least twice the size of your so called room. You didn’t have much time to play scavenger as you were softly plopped onto the bed. Your eyes finally met with his.

Lord Yoongi. 

People would shake at his very name. He was feared by all and of course you knew that. You felt that fear, but at the same time, you were so intrigued by him. His pale skin that contrasted against his dark hair made his features stand out even more.  Your breath hitched in your throat as he caressed your cheek. The thought of being killed by his hands was enticing. His scent was ever so addicting and god forbid the smirk that fell upon his face.

“I’m sure you know what you’re here for.”

You nodded before responding in a voice no louder than a whisper, “I am to be sacrificed to you in return for money. I am going to die by your hands.”

He gave you a blank stare before erupting in laughter and as much as you loved the melody of it, you couldn’t help but visibly show your confusion.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“W-What?”

“You’re not supposed to die, silly. It defeats the whole purpose of bribing your father just for you to be here. I wanted you.”

“I-I heard people talking in the hallways about how I was just like every other girl.. I’m supposed to be killed like them.”

A flash of anger replaced his gummy smile, his eyes darkening at your comment. “They only died because they were weak. I tried marking them, but they were not the one.”

The one?

“I’ve been searching for my soulmate.” He bluntly admitted, staring into your shaky eyes. 

Of course.

Everyone was so obsessed about finding their soulmate. There was no marking or whatsoever to indicate who belonged to who. You’re supposed to just feel it. Your heart is supposed to jump out of your chest the moment you found the one. Every moment with them is supposed to be pure bliss, a feeling that can never be substituted by anything else is this god forsaken world. 

“Why do you care about soulmates?” You asked, curiosity getting the best of you.

“It was my mother’s dying wish and I am to grant it.” 

“Then do what you have to.”

A sudden determination consumed your fear as you looked him dead in the eyes. 

“I can’t just bite you for goodness sake.” Yoongi chucked. “I have to deflower you first, are you okay with that? I don’t want to hur-”

“Okay.” You interrupted, wanting nothing more than to be even closer to him.

“Okay?” Yoongi looked at you as if you were some kind of alienated beast sitting before him.

“Do it.” 

“It’s going to hurt.” He warned.

“That’s okay.”

“You might die.”

“I’m fine with that.”

Yoongi laughed, clearly amused by your sudden responses, “Why do you want to die so bad? You’re at the peak of your youth, you should consider yourself lucky.”

Frowning, you fiddled with your hands as you averted your gaze, “I have nothing else to live for.” 

With that, Yoongi’s lips came crashing down on yours. His sweet taste overwhelmed your senses, leaving you wanting for more. You cautiously wrapped your arms around his neck, unsure if you were allowed to. His touch sent tingles down your body and god it loved you so much. His raspy, shaky breath turned you on. You could feel yourself getting wetter by the second.

“This,” He pointed to your dress, “is getting in the way.”

In the blink of an eye, he had ripped it off, causing you to whine, “I really liked the design!”

“If you live, I’ll give you more than just that.”

At this point, you were dripping wet. Just his voice alone makes you moan. Yoongi stopped touching you, taking the time to observe your godly figure. His hands ran over the small creases in your palms. He looked at the way your lips were shaped, how you had done your hair, the way your boobs were spilling out of your bra. Feeling as though you needed some sweet relief, he unclipped your bra without a moment of hesitation and watched as they bounced in slow motion. Gasping as your skin came in contact with the cold air, your felt yourself getting more aroused within each touch. 

“Please, Lord Yoongi. Don’t make me wait too long.” You begged, giving a small pout which made Yoongi look at you in amusement.

“Patience, my love. I want to savor every moment with you.” His words melted your heart. You wanted nothing more than to be touched by his long, slender fingers. “Call me Yoongi.”

With one hand fondling your breast, his lips connected with yours once more as his free hand found its way in your underwear. Arching your back in pleasure, Yoongi smiled at the thought of pleasing you, wanting to do more and more just for you.

“You like that, baby?” Yoongi whispered, nibbling on your earlobe, “You like the way my fingers pump in and out of your tight pussy, hm?”

You were overwhelmed with all the pleasure he was giving you and only moaned loudly in response. He made his way down until his face was infront of your sex. Blowing softly, you jolted at the sudden action and whined.

“P-Please, Yoongi. I need you.”

“I’m right here, baby.” He teased, licking your clit as he continuously fingered you.

“I need you inside of me!” You nearly screamed as he added another finger. 

You don’t know how long he was doing this, but all you knew was that you were going to come very soon.

“Almost there, baby. Come for me.” He said, sucking on your clit as you clenched around his digits. 

Moaning loudly, you finally gave in. Chuckling at your response, Yoongi licked his fingers clean before undressing himself. Your mouth watered at the sight of his bulge, gently grasping it in your tiny hands.

“May I?”

Your words made him groan. “Be my guest.”

With that, you slowly tugged down at his boxers, allowing his member to break free. Your eyes widened at the sight, you knew he was big, but he didn’t know he was this big.

“I-I don’t really know what to do.” You admitted, slowly twisting as you stroked his length.

“F-Fuck, you know what you’re doing.” He threw his head back and shut his eyes in pleasure.

Satisfied with his response, you carefully licked the tip before taking him by surprise as you shoved his entire shaft in your mouth. Yoongi sucked in a breath as he let out a sound of pure bliss.

“I didn’t know you could do that.” 

You chuckled in return, the vibrations from your mouth only making him more aroused. 

“I can’t take it anymore!” Yoongi claimed, pushing your back on the bed, aligning himself at your entrance. “Baby, this is gonna hurt, but be a good girl and take it all in for me, okay? Can you do that for me?”

You looked into his eyes and shook your head, “Please, Yoongi. Make love to me.” 

Yoongi leaned down, kissing you as he shoved his shaft inside of you causing you to gently bite his lip. It was excruciatingly painful, but you endured it for Yoongi. You wanted to please him and if this was one way to do it, then so be it. You don’t know why, but all you wanted to do was make him feel good. From the moment you locked gazes, he was all you wanted.

Starting off with slow thrusts, Yoongi let out a string of curses before quickly apologizing, “I’m going to go faster, so let me know if it’s too much for you.” 

You gripped the sheets as he pumped in and out of you at the speed of lightning. The pain disappeared and now, you were left on cloud nine. His dick filled you whole, but it wasn’t enough. Pulling out, he placed one of your legs on your shoulder and shoved himself back in, causing you to scream in delight. You weren’t even aware that it was possible to go so deep.

“Scream my name, baby. I want to hear you scream.” Yoongi practically moaned into your ears.

“Fuck,Yoongi!” You began chanting his name as if it were some ritual, unable to get enough of him, despite being deep in your pussy.

“Don’t clench around me. I don’t want to cum so fast.” Yoongi whined.

“I’m going to come soon, so might as well, baby.” 

Upon hearing your nickname for him, Yoongi sped up. You were so close and you could tell he was too by the look on his face and grip around your waist. If you were to survive, you swore that you would wake up with bruises around your hips. 

“Almost there, baby. Come on!” Yoongi thrusted even harder, the sound of his dick slapping against your ass echoed in the room.

You were sure people could hear the sound of you two having sex, but you didn’t care. If you were going to die, then you wanted to go down in history. Mustering all the strength in your body, you took Yoongi by surprise as you flipped him around and momentarily straddling before you began riding him.  Reaching up to fondle your boobs, you moaned as you roughly grinded your hips against his. 

“Fuck, baby.” Yoongi thrusted once more, causing you to yelp as you arched your back in pure pleasure. 

Yoongi sat up and pounded into you, the sound of your wetness splashing all over his thighs as he relentlessly made love to you. With one last powerful thrust, you simultaneously came. Panting in exhaustion, you moved the hair away from your neck, allowing Yoongi to finish the process.

“Bite me.” 

With his shaft still buried deep inside of you, he connected his forehead with yours and smiled before saying, “Even if you turn out to not be my soulmate, I want to you to know that I love you, despite not knowing you for that long.”

You laughed at his remark before reciprocating his affection, “As romantic as it is, if I had really met you like I had now, I would have prayed to the heavens that you were my soulmate.”

Yoongi leaned in and gave you one last kiss, the feeling of his lips still lingering on your lips as he pulled away. You closed your eyes shut as he softly pecked your neck, gripping on your waist as your fisted his hair. Then, he sunk his fangs into your delicate flesh, allowing the blood to drip down your naked body. 

Ok so, anti Kylo Ren people - I don’t understand them. Not in the sense that I can’t understand why someone wouldn’t like Kylo - you like what you like or not - but it’s the analysis of the character, something you can interpret on a sliding scale of better or worse accuracy, that strikes me as profoundly odd. It’s completely in defiance not in just to what we’ve been given in the material but also to the things the directors and actors have said themselves explicitly. Which is just…weird. It’s like alternative facts land. It gets especially weird when comparing him to Anakin, which antis always seem to do in a way that treats suffering as a vulgar balance beam of precisely measurable and predictable quantity and quality. 

“Unlike Anakin, Kyle Ron grew up with 2 parents who loved him”

No offense but - so?? Barring the very few wrongheaded outliers who label Han and Leia as abusive and uncaring (and to whom antis seem determined to sniff out and then cling to like a barnacle as a way of judging the wider fandom), most of us recognize the genuine parental love Han and Leia have for their son. My question is since when has love alone ever been enough to keep a young man from falling into darkness? Especially when said young man is growing up in a complicated family situation. If that were the case our world would be a less fucked up place than it is now.

Yes, Han and Leia loved Ben. But guess what? You can love your child and still be a dysfunctional family. You can care a lot for your kid and still make bad choices. You can still try to do your best and fail miserably. You can even do these things and inflict damage because you love them so much. Leia recognizes this - she thought she was doing good in sending Ben away to Luke for training. She was wrong and the decision hurt rather than helped, regardless of her intentions. She said so in the fucking movie.

I find it funny that the people who are vehemently against the idea of love, either from Leia or Rey or Luke or whoever, playing a part in Kylo’s redemption because they think love doesn’t redeem bad men and the notion is toxic are the same people who think love should have kept Ben Solo from becoming Kylo Ren in the first place. That’s some outstanding cognitive dissonance. The idea that because Han and Leia loved Ben and he grew up in a materially comfortable setting compared to his granddaddy somehow eliminates for him profound suffering and turmoil or immunizes Han or Leia from making long-lasting errors as parents and human beings is laughable to me. 

I grew up with a super critical and moody father. It often felt like he didn’t like me or my brother. It was only later that my dad confessed that he thought he was being helpful by chewing us out all the time even though it had the opposite effect on us. And my dad loved the shit out of me. But he didn’t realize the damage he was doing and it wasn’t intended but his own flaws kept him from realizing that and by then, the damage was done and there was no taking it back. Granted, I didn’t join a murderous regime, but then again I don’t live in a galaxy far, far away.

To refresh, reminder that these are canon facts: 1. Han admitted to being uncomfortable around Ben because of his powers. 2. According to both Carrie (”We neglected him a little”) and Adam Driver (”having these incredible powers and not having his parents really be around”), and supplemental material (Bloodline) that Leia and Han ran a contentious household with their work keeping them divided at times. 3. Ben didn’t even know about his true heritage and he found out not through his family but through someone outing his mother as Vader’s daughter. By then he had already been sent to Luke to learn to control himself.

And honestly, to reduce the Solo/Organa family situation as being informed above all else by the love Han and Leia had for their son is to completely erase the strength that outside forces had in tearing the family apart. 

Antis will unfavorably compare Anakin’s life to Kylo by saying “Anakin was a former slave who was then manipulated by Palpatine so it makes him more understandable” but like uh Ben was preyed upon by a dark entity since he was in the womb - since he was in the womb. Mama Leia says even says in the movie that it was Snoke who seduced their son, so I don’t get what distinguishing Palpatine’s manipulations while erasing Snoke’s does except make anti-Kylos look like hypocrites. 

And then there is this whole “Han offered Kylo redemption and he didn’t take it so that’s that!” 

Yeah. Han offered Kylo a chance to come back. It was the last thing he did. And he did it 6 years after Kylo fell. And after 29 years of constant struggle and misunderstanding that constituted Ben/Kylo’s life. He did so at Leia’s prompting. Not that he didn’t want his son back too - he did and he was sincere about it - but he also showed more doubt than his wife. This is gonna sound harsh but from an in-universe perspective and certainly from the character’s perspectives that’s not good enough. That’s not to downplay the love with which the gesture was made or the wrongness of Kylo’s decision. But what Han offered in that moment was just that - a moment. And redemption needs more than a moment, it requires a journey. Han even acknowledges his failures in the last moments of his life, hoping that Kylo will someday forgive him too.

What Han did wasn’t showing a way back, it was a more of a drop-everything-and-run-away-with-me proposition that did not resolve all the underlying issues subsequent actions that led to their estrangement in the first place. 

Again, there is a certain irony that anti-Kylo/anti-redemption folks who quip this line that Han was offering redemption and Kylo rejecting it and killing him therefore his chance are over are often the same ones who scorn the idea of Rey or Leia playing a role in Kylo’s redemption. Yet (putting aside that this is mischaracterizing how most of us envision the redemption arc going) by taking the position of the former, aren’t you contradicting yourself with the latter by acknowledging that yes, redemption can be given through love? Because that is what is being said when you say Han had the solution. 

At any rate, the way back must be something that Kylo finds on his own, not have given to him, with others serving as influences and inspirations but not as his patrons of good. This whole analysis of redemption being closed to Kylo Ren, of him being a “privileged white boy” who threw it all away or of his life being so comparatively better than Anakin’s thus rendering any parallels between them moot is just wrongheaded. There is a lot we don’t know yet and have been promised by those involved in the film to see, including Kylo’s “humanity”. If you’re one of those people with the viewpoint that I have spent this entire post taking down, my honest to god non-snarky recommendation is that you either adjust your reading of the material and change your expectations or not see Episode 8 at all. You will be profoundly confused, angered or disappointed otherwise.