the memory card

That moment when I'm trying to free up space on my phones but have so many 1st person pov sex videos i made with all the hot women i've been with since I got divorced last year that I decide to go buy a bigger memory card instead.

Seriously, my 3 phones are Methed-up-samurai porn gold mines, there’s probably over 40 women showing me a great time on them… i love the single life. I really shouldve left that bitch a long fuckin time ago Lol.

The Moral of the story kids is: DO NOT TIE YOURSELF DOWN INTO A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP WHILE YOU’RE YOUNG, WAIT TILL YOU’RE AT LEAST IN YOUR MID TO LATE 20’S. DON’T WASTE YOUR GOOD YEARS TRYING TO PLAY THAT HS SWEETHEART IMMA LOVE YOU FOREVER BULLSHIT. YOU BOTH WON’T BE THE SAME DUMBASSES YOU WERE IN HS TEN YEARS LATER. THAT HALLMARK VALENTINE’S DAY CARD PUPPY LOVE SHIT WON’T MEAN SHIT AFTER YOU FIND YOURSELF.

Screw the Dirk Gently flashback scene with the memory cards.

I want the flashback scene where Colonel Riggins picks up bb!Dirk from the orphanage and Dirk’s asking “are they going to like me where we’re going?”

And the Colonel says “Svlad, I can guarantee that they’ll all want to meet you”.

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“Though we had to part, though we could never be together again, we had no regrets. Even if he returned to his world, married another woman and had children with her, if the man I loved was happy, then I could be happy. And I am. Our hearts had joined and so, even if he lived in a different world, that time, we really were together always, always. I would never let go of this feeling, or my love for him.” ©

When I was in college, I won an award for “Excellence in Ancient Greek,” an award, I believe, was given out of pity/awe because I logged the most hours of any student being privately tutored outside of class in an attempt to retain some small amount of that dead language.

All recipients of language awards that year got to attend a dinner with the president of the college (I missed it because my brother was graduating the same weekend and I had to go to North Carolina to sweat outside in the Sun for 4 hours while a bunch of names were read off a list. This is the dumbest part of college and it forced me to miss my big free meal! I’m still mad.)

That summer, I lived in Williamsburg in an apartment with no air conditioning. My professor emailed me asking where he could send my award. I rolled my eyes and sent the address. A few days later, I got my little fancy-lettered certificate that I’d failed to receive at the big dinner. I also found in the envelope a gift certificate to Barnes & Noble for $500.

“Holy shit.” I said out loud to no one.

I assume Bard College expected me to save the card until the fall, and use it at the bookstore on campus for textbooks. But I’m no sucker. I knew from my time working at a Barnes & Noble in Cleveland that Starbucks gift cards don’t work at the Starbucks within B&N because it’s technically owned by the bookstore. But the Barnes & Noble gift cards do. So, essentially, I possessed $500 of free Starbucks.

I spent whole days writing or meeting friends at the Union Square Barnes & Noble. I learned employees will ask you to move from the cafe from time to time (if you sit there for 5 hours) but they’ll never ask you to leave the aisles as long as you don’t fall asleep. I also learned accidentally that, although they guard the doors at the store so you don’t steal anything, no one notices if you read a few books, then when you’re done, throw them in the garbage (I still feel guilty about doing this once but, man, what a thrill. In retrospect, I should I told someone I did it but I was too scared). I saw author talk after author talk, and even had an awkward moment with John Updike before he died. I got stoned and read the first page of as many books as I could in a day. Mostly, I remember the air conditioning. Whew. I’d have paid them just to let me sit there.

I owe a lot more to Community Bookstore and other indie bookstores, but I owe the Union Square Barnes & Noble and Bard College for keeping me sane during the summer of 2007. I never dreamed I’d be signing a book there or at the store in Cleveland where I first learned the joys of bookselling, but here we are.

I want to thank Marni at the Citigroup Barnes & Noble for being excited about this book and the last. I signed some copies there too. She’s worked at that store since it opened! Also, I was happy to see a fellow Bard alum Senia working at Union Square (she took this photo).

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Everything to know about the Nintendo Switch

Cost: $299.99

Release Date: March 3

Pre-order: Now. Online pre-order pages for several retailers, like Walmart, Amazon, Best Buy, Gamestop and Target are now live. Read more

Specs: The Nintendo Switch packs a 6.2-inch display, a capacitive 6.2-inch touchscreen display, USB-C charging port, 32GB of memory with SD card support for adding extra storage space. Read more

Battery: Should last 2.5 to 6 hours depending on what game you’re playing. Read more

Online: Yes, it has WiFi. Online play in multiplayer games will be free at launch during a trial period, but will cost an as-yet-unknown subscription fee starting in fall 2017. The subscription will come with one free NES or SNES game a month. Read more

Controllers: The Joy-Con controllers work with button input but also allow motion control for games like 1-2 Switch and Arms. Read more.  They also come in various colors. Read more The Nintendo Switch Pro controller will be available for purchase separately for $69.99. Read more

Games: Some notable titles include 1-2 Switch (Switch’s answer to Wii Sports), Skyrim (!), Splatoon 2, Zelda Breath of the Wild, Xenoblade Chronicles 2, Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, Arms and Super Mario Odyssey.    Full list of confirmed games

follow @the-future-now

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IN LOVING REMEMBRANCE of Ester J Burley- Died Feb. 22, 1929- Aged 75 Years.- GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN

“I ofttimes wish that I was dead

and laid beside her in the tomb

The sorrow that bowes down my head

Is silent in the midnight gloom

The spring time has no charm for me

Though flowers are blooming in the dell

That dearest form I cannot see

It is the form of my sweet Ester Jane.

While the birds was singing in the morning

And the myrtle and the Ivey were in bloom

and the sun on the hilltops was dawning

It was then we laid her in the tomb.

~Your One Best Friend”

DM:card games are the product of ancient Egyptians and possibly Atlantis

GX: Go to school to learn about card games

5ds:some shit happens in Peru in the past and also the future hates card games

Zexal: Cards come from a alternate universe and/or an aliens memory

Arc V: Interdimensional card game war breaks out local tomato sad  

Vrains: literally nothing is real everything you do is actually part of virtual reality and your actions have no real meaning  

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State of the mobile gaming (8 Feb 2017)
Deleted some, added others and organized by type.Mainly non-dating sim otome games, but with dating sim elements.

Sword hell (which has it’s own special category)
Touken Ranbu

Card battle
- Boyfriend (Beta)
- Sephirot [Otomate crossover extravaganza] 
- Otogi Spirit Agents

‘Pet’ simulator/raising/dress-up 
- Hoshikare Days
- Nijiiro Kanojo 2d
- Elf Prin
- Devil’s Kiss 
- Saibai Shounen

Puzzle battle 
- Sailor Moon Drops
- Love Scramble [Voltage crossover extravaganza]
- Stand My Heroes [Law enforcement]
- Love Heaven [Historical figures]
- Magical Days The Brats’ Parade [Magic school]
- Yume 100 [Princes]

Idol/Band/Music/Actors 
- Ensemble Stars [idols but not a music game]
- Idolish7 [idols with way too many collaboration goods and merchandise… orz]
- Yumeiro Cast [musical troupe that needs more merchandise!]
- Dream Festival [idols with dress up game elements]
- Band Yarouze [bands, has the longest event periods!]
- Show By Rock [bands, needs to be more generous with their CD bonuses!]
- Ai-Chu [idols, need to play this more but always distracted by prettiness from the others]
- Boyfriend (Beta) Kirameki Note [spinoff of BF (Beta) and the gacha is PURE EVIL!]
- A3! [theatre troupe, not a music game, still waiting for their 1st event!]

Dating sims
- Sanrio Danshi (Japanese)
- Beast Darling (Japanese)
- Ikemen Ooku (Traditional Chinese)
- Ikemen Sengoku (Traditional Chinese)

Mystery game with stalking, I mean, dating sim elements
- Toraware no Palm (Traditional Chinese, only paid game on this list)