the masked bishop

What your Neverwinter Nights romance option says about you:

Valen Shadowbreath: You probably had an emo phase at one point. Recalling his romance you’ll listen to “Monster” by Skillet, or “Animal I Have Become” by Three Days Grace. You also can’t stop making ‘horny’ jokes. Valen Shadowbreath was the one who spurred you into your 3edgy5me “demons are misunderstood” phase.

Nathyrra: You’re probably hardcore into BDSM and would thank her for stepping on your neck with golf cleats. You were probably scratching your head and wondering why she was the straight romance option. Seriously, did none of the creators read their own subtext?

Aarin Gend: You’re the only one who remembers he exists. You scream in agony forever. Literally he and Aribeth are the only things that make the Original Campaign of NWN1 worthy of playing. And nobody fucking remembers him.

Aribeth de Tylmerande: You got into this at first for the Boob Window. Now there’s a goddamn war and she’s lost her mind. Shit, she’s dead now. You’re romancing a corpse. Where does it get worse from here. You don’t know but somehow necrophilia doesn’t seem so bad…

Casavir: You were probably attracted to Goose God or Freaky Fred at one point. How do we go back from this. Tell me how we can take this back and forget it all.

Gann: You’re probably a big fan of musicals. You’re also probably a big fan of Howl’s moving castle. You’re cultured and witty and intelligent and have good taste. But hush, enough about you. It’s all about Gann now. For ever. And Ever

Safiya: You probably have a teacher/student kink. If you didn’t already, you’ve probably thought about it since. Don’t tell me you haven’t, you grody napkin.

Elanee: What this romance option says about you is that you’re a lying liar. You’ve never intentionally romanced her, ever, and enjoyed it. Literally, who thought this was a good idea?!

Bishop: He’s part of the reason why you hate men, but yet you find yourself going back to him time and again anyways. We understand. We’re in hell too. We’re here for you.

Neeshka: You’re convinced she’s your manic pixie dream girl. You would let her steal everything you own - your shirt, your pants, your will to live– and then you find out she’s unromanceable. And you’re out about 50,000 gold pieces. She’s already on her way to Waterdeep by now. Fuck.

Sand: There is no Sand romance option. You are in denial anyhow, and with each playthrough you’re at it again, kissing his ass and kidding yourself. Today will be the day I choose Bishop or Casav– Bitch, please, it’s all over once he comes in with that “Ah, it seems I have arrived just in time to deflect the usual barrage of slander from the local innkeeper” line.