the mark is from the mirror: not my jumper

Beautiful by definition - Dan

Anon: can you do an imagine where y/n is self conscious of her body and Dan reassures her shes pretty if you cant that’s okay thank u

A/N: This is a really cute idea, so I made it all fluffy. Enjoy! xx 

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Warning: Body image issues

I was a little bit bigger than most girls, my stomach was all flabby that gave me a muffin top. My arms also flabby, Stretch marks that resided on my stomach, hips, thighs and my inner arms. Needless to say that I was very, very self conscious of my body. I never liked to show my legs so I always were jeans or pants, same thing with my arms. People would tell me that I am pretty but I just couldn’t believe what they said. One of those people was my friend Dan. He was always so sweet and sensitive, he made me feel good, except for the days where I loathed myself for my appearance. I’m told that it’s only my fault and that all it takes is for me to just stop and do something about it, but It’s not that easy sometimes. 

I was sitting around my room in a pair of sweats and a baggy jumper, not caring about my appearance, it wasn’t because I just felt like being lazy, but because I was having one of those days where if I looked in the mirror, I would cry because I was set to believe that I was too fat, not beautiful and anything else negative I could put on myself. I turned off all of the lights and covered the mirrors that lived in my room, hiding myself away under my bed covers with a TV remote by my side. Dan was trying to get me to come out to do things with him today but I just didn’t respond. I envied Dan, he was perfect from head to toe, and I was, well. Me. I always wondered why he stuck around to be my friend, because I wasn’t the most attractive person on the planet and my body was beyond attractive itself. I stared at the new message and sighed, tossing my phone into my bedside table drawers and taking my attention back to the TV.

An advertisement for athletic wear came on and all I saw was people in fit, toned bodies, running around in the sunshine with their sun kissed skin. It just made my mood worse honestly. I didn’t want to look at myself today, but after seeing the ad, I felt as if I had no choice. I climbed out of bed and and pulled the sheet from my full length mirror, gazing at myself, all the imperfections that I could spot from a mile away. I walked right up to it and poked at all the pimples that lived on my chin. The bags under my eyes from a mass amount of sleep deprivation. I sighed and took of my jumper,leaving my in my sweats and a bra, exploiting my body to the mirror. I was so insecure about myself that I felt like a walking disaster. I grabbed fist fulls of the extra weight that I carried, then traced my fingertips over the stretch marks that riddled my skin. As I was doing  this I heard the twist of the door knob to my bedroom door. I knew it was Dan. but I never looked in his direction, I was already ashamed of my body. 

“Hey why aren’t you answering you-” 

I looked at him through the mirror and dropped my head. I fell to my knees and just began to cry. I kept trying to wipe the tears away, but as soon as I did they, they were just replaced by a whole new set. Dan rushed over to me and got onto his knees, so he was on my level. Dan pulled me into his chest and began to shush my down, rocking us back and forth slowly. I was extremely uncomfortable about not having my torso covered, but I trusted Dan, so I was okay with it. This went on for about 15 minutes before I couldn’t cry anymore. i sniffled my nose a bit, so Dan handed me the box of tissues on my drawers. I looked at him with the redness in my eyes from all the crying, they even felt puffy, but I was used to this. 

“are you having one of those days?” 

I didn’t talk but I just nodded, I was afraid if I said anything that the tears would find a way to come back. Dan frowned and pulled me back into a hug, stroking my hair slowly in the process. He hmm’d a bit, trying to find the right words to say, or it sounded that way anyway. Actually it sounded like he was having an internal battle with himself, but I wasn’t going to push anything if he didn’t want to talk about it. Another 5 minutes go by before Dan starts to talk to me. He brings his index finger and his thumb to my chin and gently raises my head so that I’m gazing into his eyes.

“Look, I’m going to be serious for a moment, and I need you to listen to me okay, like really listen to me. You are a beautiful woman, both inside and out. I understand that you dislike what you see, but honestly I don’t know why. (Y/n) When I look at you I see a gorgeous woman. Your arms, your smile, the bags under your eyes, even your stomach. I love, everything about you. And If I have to spend everyday by your side to tell you that… Well then I’d do it, without a problem in the world. Because Even though you probably don’t feel it, I feel, so, so strongly about you. I don’t care that you have a tummy, or if you look tired most days. You’ve lived, You’re not boring or plain. You’re wonderful. And your body is just as wonderful as you are.” 

Dan stood us both up and then he slipped his arms around my waist, his hands touching my skin, It was odd, even though I felt uncomfortable, I was extremely happy to know that not everyone thought about me the same way as I do. He kissed my nose lightly and smiled, hugging me once more. I put my head into his chest and hugged him bag, finally feeling the tension release from my shoulders. I looked up at Dan. He seemed quite relieved. 

“You know (Y/n). I could get used to hugging you like this. If you didn’t understand me, I’m going to be blunt just in case. I like you. I like your body. I like everything that you have to offer. But as long as you feel insecure about something. Talk to me about it, because I don’t like it when you feel like this, because someone as beautiful as you shouldn’t feel down. “ 

I blushed and kissed his cheek. I hugged him again but didn’t say anything in return. A tear rolled down my cheek as we swayed slowly, but this time it wasn’t from repressed feelings. It was from a feeling of finally feeling accepted by someone. Just for being me.