the man with the broom

Identifying witches

An open witch: just enter their house there are like 80 candles and rocks and stars and leaves and shit everywhere you are just tripping over it

A kitchen witch: their kitchen is hands down the coolest part of the house with awesome spices and organisation and deco and their house smells amazing

Hedge witch: check for a dehydrator or massive amounts of parchment paper

An urban witch: their living space is covered in the most random, seemingly irrelevant stuff that they are super attached to

Pagan witch: altars to different deities everywhere and so many pentacles everywhere why is there one in the toilet damn what

Christian witch: house is covered in fairies and Angels in paintings and statues it’s like what

Neo-pagan: their gem stone collection can only be rivalled by the state rock museum ( either that or they are a Steven universe fan :p )

A closet witch: check the drawers for books Check the drawers man

Satanic witch: lots of silver on their altar and most of their closet is black or sexy.

Gothic witch: their house IS black and sexy and full of bones

A spoonie witch: their athame is in the kitchen and there is random candle wax around the house and you just have no idea what happened but this one corner of the house has great energy

Sigil witch: why is there a sigil on every napkin what is life who are you

Tarot focused: they have like 80 tarot decks and half haven’t even been opened and they are super defensive about

A witching: starter kits, specialty candles, and they have a few books on Wicca they bought accidentally

Sea witch: there are shells everywhere and it constantly smells like fresh sea air but you can’t find the source

A long time witch: THIS AMOUNT OF JARS HAS NEVER BEEN NECESSARY IN THE HISTORY OF MAN

2

Flash #194 signed by Neal Adams

Meet Neal Adams today at Mama Says Comics Rock in Brooklyn.

Yes he did other DC work besides Green Lantern/Green Arrow and Batman.
Mr. Adams did a couple of Flash covers including this classic one

“The Bride cast Two Shadows”
Written by John Broome with art by Ross Andru and Mike Esposito
@nealadams cover

Second #Snapecase submission…

Post Deathly Hallows, once recovered from his wounds (no portrait, no funeral = Snape LIVES), Snape starts travelling. He travels around the world to study at all the magical schools, observing, perusing their libraries, talking to the teachers — and he learns everything that he possibly can about magic. I mean: it’s Snape. The man can fly without a broom, something which according to “Quidditch Through the Ages” is simply not possible. He knows more about Dark Arts than Dumbledore and more about White Magic than Voldemort. He has been inventing his own spells since childhood and he sucks up magic like a sponge. So now, finally free of his masters, he wants to know everything. He goes out there, and he learns.

This particular image is inspired by his stay at Mahoutokoro, where, I imagine, being an Occlumens and a man of opposites, he is particularly drawn to the Zen approach of magic. And of course levitation requires no effort at all.

  • person: So what happens in parks and rec?
  • me: YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT PARKS AND REC! IT'S THE GREATEST SHOW IN THE UNIVERSE FOREVER THROUGHOUT ALL OF TIME!
  • person: Okaay.. but what happens?
  • me: Season one, episode one. Cold opening. We begin with a close up girl playing with a plastic toy pig and cows in a sandpit. A blond woman in business attire, with a clip board crouches down beside her and says "hello, Hi, my name is Leslie Knope and I work for the Parks and Recreation department. Can I ask you a few questions?" the girl continues to play in the sandpit and ignores Leslie, but Leslie keeps talking. "Would you say you are enjoying yourself and having fun? Having a moderate amount of fun and somewhat enjoying yourself? or having no fun. And no enjoyment?" girl keeps on playing, ignoring Leslie so Leslie says "I'm gonna put down a lot of fun." Then a young boy runs in "MS KNOPE! There's a drunk stuck in the slide!" It cuts to a man lying in the top of a slide in playground and Leslie says "sir, this is a children's slide you're not allowed to sleep in here." and Leslie is trying to push the man down with a broom. Then there's a voice over from leslie which changes from a talking head where she's sitting at a park table, to leslie trying to push the man out of the slide.. "you know when I first tell people I work in the government they say 'oh the government stinks, the lines are too long in the DMV. But now, things have changed. People need our help. and it feels good. to be needed." Leslie back on the slide "could you put your arms to your side and that might help you slide down a little easier?" then the drunk protests a bit and leslie continues "do you want to come this way? we're going to need you to get out" the drunk protests more. Leslie: "get out of the slide, here we go" and leslie kicks the slide "wake up. here we go, out of the slide" and then a voice over starts as Leslie continues to get the drunk out "you know the government isn't just a boys club anymore. women are everywhere. It's a great time for women to be in politics - hilary clinton, sarah palin, me, nancy Pelosi" drunk slides down slide "We did it!" small group of people at the park clap.. voice over continues as we see leslie get her hair pulled by some kid in the park and a guy in speedos at a pool which leslie tries not to look at his junk comes up too. "you know, I like to tell people you know, get on board, buckle up, because my ride's gonna be a big one and if you get motion sickness, then put your head between your knees cos Leslie Knope's stopping for no one."
  • person:
  • Me:
  • person:
  • me: BA BA BABABA BA BABABA BA BABABA BA BABABA BA BABABA BA BABABA BA BABABABA BABA BABABA BABABABABABABABA BA BA BA bA BA BA BA BABA BA BA BA BABABA BA BABABA BA BABABA BA BABABA BA BABABA BA BABABA BA BABABABA BABA BABABA BABABABABABABABA BA BA BA bA BA BA BA BA BABA BA BA BA.
Flustered Fraser - Teenage AU

Thanks @diversemediums for helping me beta this. We’ve got some really fun ideas for things in the future, so stay tuned! This is a direct follow up to Awkward Conversations.

Anonymous asked:  Can teenage Jamie hide his discomfort when meeting uncle Lamb


I pause outside Mam’s door, holding the letter from my headmistress in my sweaty hands.

“Mam?” I ask quietly.

“Jamie, love. Come in.”

I push the door open and walk slowly into my parents bedroom. I’ve only been inside this room a few times and it still felt ancient. But when I see Mam’s smilin’ face, I canna do anything but smile back.

“Come here my handsome lad. Lay your head, man, and tell me what’s a matter.”

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anonymous asked:

on a scale of hand-holding at coffee shops to whispering 'i love you's' when the other is asleep, how soft are marcus and oliver respectively?

omg marcus would definitely whisper ‘i love you’ when he thinks oliver has fallen asleep, he’s sappy like that. but also picture these:

  • he would wrap his hand tight around oliver’s in crowded places because he doesn’t want to lose his boyfriend, who’s surprisingly, very capable of finding his own way home if they’re separated, thank you very much.
  • no pda, he said?? but sometimes they happen to ride the tube ok, and marcus loves standing close to oliver when there’s no seat available. he rests his hand on the small of oliver’s back. and they’re so close that every time marcus talks, his breath would brush againsts oliver’s temple.
  • “you fell asleep on the couch again. marcus, i said don’t wait up for me.” / “i didn’t wait up for you.”
  • he did.
  • marcus is also soft in other ways like.. he always polishes oliver’s broom when the man forgets?? and changes the pillows when oliver mentions that his neck hurts. and buys him his favourite snack on the way home from work. pfft. what would you do without me, wood.
  • lazy night on the couch. oliver would get comfortable in marcus’s lap. and marcus would absentmindedly run his hand through oliver’s hair and sometimes he plants a kiss or two at the top of oliver’s head as he listens to the man rambling.
  • arguments happen. sometimes as they walk home after a night out. oliver would focus on getting his point across. marcus? he would be too busy pulling on oliver’s jacket so his precious boyfriend won’t get himself hit by a truck, walk into a pole, tripped over a pebble or something.
  • one night, oliver came home upset and he refused to tell marcus anything. so marcus carried the dog (a very grown german shepherd) to their bed and they cuddle. it took a few hours, but oliver smiled in the end and marcus said, “let’s not make this into a habit. she takes too much space.”
  • but oliver couldn’t care less, because marcus keeps breaking his own rules for him and his hand was gentle, running up and down oliver’s back.

oliver;

  • if marcus is the one who whispers ‘i love you’ in the dead of night, oliver is the one who whispers ‘stay with me’ in the morning as his fingers traces the freckles on marcus’s back.
  • because he knows what’s running around marcus’s mind when he’s alone. that’s he’s unworthy of oliver’s love? that oliver should find someone better? what kind of bullshit is that right
  • so oliver keeps whispering, when he’s sure marcus is still asleep. maybe if he repeats it enough, it will seep into marcus’s subconsciousness eventually.
  • and then there are occasional breakfast in bed, unprompted legs massage, and short sweet messages that he hides around the flat and marcus’s work gears.
  • the first time marcus found one in his jeans pocket, oliver came home to find him sitting on the floor bawling his eyes out.
  • sleepy-eyed, hair in disarray from his nap, oliver likes hugging marcus from behind as the man cooks their dinner. then he would be peppering kisses to marcus’s neck just because he feels like it.
  • there are times where marcus’s father contacts them out of the blue, which never fails to make him upset. or the times when something reminds him of his late mother. those are the times where oliver would let marcus hid his face to oliver’s chest for hours.
nct hogwarts!au [hansol]

• slytherin
• tbh everyone was shook the sorting hat was shook he is the quietest boy
• yuta was like ,,,??? Because he thought he was gonna be a ravenclaw for sure
• half blooded and used to be lowkey ashamed
• because slytherins are mostly pureblood snobs and hansols really quiet and never stood up for himself
• kinda kept to himself and just ignored everyone
• one day yuta steps in
• throws some hexes
• no one ever came for him again

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PART THREE // THE SECRET | MASTERLIST


Summary: Getting the same order every day following the afternoon classes you took at the University, your life had been your education. That is until Kylo, a Barista at Java the Hutt’s cafe, walked into it. Suddenly, your world was stained by love and Kylo’s past, causing everything to change.

A/N: Thank you all for the kind messages and enjoying coffee stains! @cryxlowrites​ and I are more than happy that you guys like it! As always, enjoy and feedback is welcomed!

Warning: None

Word Count: 5.9K+

Tagging: @stressedoutkylo


The next day, you moved silently down the aisles of the local supermarket, walking through the Valentine’s section, trying to think of what Ben, well, Kylo would like. When the two of you had walked back to Java’s from the bus station, you had asked him what he would want you to call him.

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Fic 458: Backseat Conversation

I had two requests for a one-shot where Scout is bi, and comes out to the team. This wound up going a bit longer than I initially intended, but I hope my Anons like it!


Scout’s knee froze mid-bounce as a hand slowly crept up to cover his mouth. Eight pairs of eyes stared back at him expectantly, if with varying degrees of actual interest as he felt heat start to rise up in his cheeks. From the front of the briefing room, Spy’s gaze veered on the edge of irritation.

“No, I had not considered the potential ‘wet t-shirt’ effect of approaching BLU’s base via the drainage vats.” One elegant hand slipped into his jacket to pull out his cigarette case. “But do enlighten us.”

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Blog Entry (Peter Parker Imagine)

Requested by: no one 

Fandom: Spider-man/Marvel

Prompt: You hear a loud noise and go to check it out, only to find no other than spider man. 

Character/s: Peter Parker x Reader

Form: Full Fic

Warnings: Swearing? Idk? Unedited

A/N: I wrote this at 2 AM and I don’t know why? I should’ve been working on requests but I made this instead. But I lowkey wanna do a part two where Peter reads this and confronts you about it.

——

My Spider-Man Meeting I Guess? 

July 7th 2017

I am alert, to say the least, and I always have been. I have to be, I grew up in Queens with my parents around only about one day a week. I have grown up almost all alone, which though it was lonely sometimes I try to look on the bright side. I can cook, clean, and even drive and I have from a very young age so it’s not all bad.

I was sitting on my couch with my usual set up, my TV blaring but me still ignoring it on my computer on the couch. It was the same old same old, I mean I thought it was? Sure, the wifi was slow that day but that wasn’t nearly as weird as what was about to happen. Anyways back to the story!

I was about to just slam my computer shut because of said slow wifi when suddenly there was a loud bang on my ceiling. I thought it was just my neighbors but then I realized, holy fuck I don’t have neighbors I live on the top floor! My instantly first thought was someone had a gun, I live in that kind of neighborhood so it seemed logical. 

I, feeling especially brave, decided to go up and check it out. Right before leaving through the door to the building roof I realized how fucked I am if they do have a gun. So I grabbed a broom to fight with, not my brightest decision but meh. Wait why am I focusing so much on small details?

I start to panic for a little bit before I can bring myself to open the door. I had no idea what I’d be up against at that point. I mustered up all my courage, took a deep breath and kicked the door open. There I saw something that may have forever changed my life.

I saw the spider man laying face down on the roof of my apartment building. I looked around for any sign of a bad guy or someone to use my broom on but there was notta. I take in the situation a bit more and sort of hold back a laugh, then not knowing what to say or do or even if this guys conscious I say, “Hello?”

He jumps to his feet in less than a second and whips around, making it very obvious (if you ask me) that he didn’t expect anyone to be up there. “I- hey Y/n! Hello there, what are you doing up here?” he asked me sounding rather embarrassed or like I had caught him doing something wrong. Then it hit me, how the fuck does he know my name? 

“How do you know my name? This is where I live. What are you doing here?”

“I was just y’know swinging around on my webs and I may have over calculated some stuff.” he told me and look down at the end with his voice trailing off not answering my question. Boy fucking howdy was I confused though. I had no idea what he meant by webs or why he had to calculate anything to get on the roof. There’s stairs for a reason, but I digress. Also the whole over calculation thing reminded me a lot of a boy from my math class, but thats probably me making a useless connection between math class and a math word.

“Your webs??” I asked and probably looked super fucking confused. 

At first he just stared at me, then his eye thingys moved? I think he was squinting at me for not knowing but whatever then they went back to normal. “Oh yeah, these things!” he then shot off a weird web thing from his arm(?) and took my broom.

“Hey! That’s my only defense!”

“You were going to fight me? With a broom?” he asked me and I fully realized how stupid I was.  I just glared and crossed my arms to stomp over and take it from him. 

“Well I was if I had to! I think I know who you are now though. You’re like… captain spider, right?”

“Wha-?! No! It’s Spider-Man!” he threw his arms out and I think I actually upset him. So being the kind considerate person I am, I continued to do it.

“Pfft ‘Man’? You sound like you’re my age!” I said though laughs.

“Well- well actually people have said worse so I’ll take it.” he shrugged and then there was this really long and awkward silence. Then not really knowing what else to do I just burst out laughing. It wasn’t even a normal small laugh I was going full on. The spider dude was looking at me like I was fucking psycho, I don’t blame him.

Once I caught my breath I looked up at him and he took a step back clutching my broom. “Woah um- are you okay? Why were you laughing like that??” I laughed a bit more.

“I’m sorry but this situation is just so fucking weird.” I explained and then he sort of started nervously laughing probably out of awkwardness. Then it grew to a real laugh and I’m not gonna lie, it was pretty cute. So me and this super hero were on my roof laughing like psychos. Sadly not my weirdest day yet. 

Then once our laughing died down a bit, he walked over to the edge of the roof. “Well I should return to the usual.”

“This isn’t your usual?”

“No, no it is not.” he said shook his head a bit. You could hear some amusement in his voice so I guess he wasn’t completely weirded out. He gave a small wave and shot a web out to a building. “Hey, I’ll see you around!” I said and smiled at him.

“Definitely.” he replied then swung away. I was about to turn around and go inside when I realized that he still has my broom. I sighed and went back inside, I guess its his broom now. 

And thats the story of how I met the super hero spider-man. Also how I lost my only broom. I don’t know why you wasted your time reading this. Also, I’d totally tap that!

———–

Peter slowly closed his laptop and stared out his window for a second. 

“WHAT THE FU”

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Requests are Open

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SNK Headcanons Pairing: Erwin x Levi

Punk and Dork AU where Erwin is the guy who wears a solid color sweater over his shirts and has his hair combed back neatly like a dork (hot dork, though), while Levi is basically the Instagram aesthetic punk with artistic tattoos running down his arms and piercings practically everywhere. 

  • Levi works at the bookstore downtown where Erwin studies and has a natural affinity for yelling at the kids who don’t put the books back where they belong. It’s even scarier because they’re being scolded by a man less than 5′5 with a broom he keeps in the storage closet for “emergencies”.
  • Erwin studies at the local university and gets ranked the top of his class each semester, earning himself a reputation that even Levi starts to notice. But it’s not until Erwin needs to get new textbooks (someone spilled coffee on his *cough* Connie *cough*) that the two of them meet over clashed heads and a lecture. Levi shoves him out with his broom and threatens to cut out his stupid sweater.
  • Each week Erwin makes time for himself to visit the bookstore, while Levi ensures that there’s always a special spot for him to read where it’s quiet and no one will disturb him. 
  • When Erwin asks him if he should get a certain type of book Levi objects right away and gives him several recommendations with comments of his own. It’s only then that Erwin notices how Levi enjoys his job not for yelling at the kids, but to get away from the world around him, and in that way, he finds something they have in common amongst the many differences. So he simply sits there criss-crossed on the floor, listening to Levi rant on about how this book got a Pulitzer Prize or this book sucked ass, shit like that.
  • They end up staying at the bookstore that day until 12 AM, with Levi reading to him his favorite book for the sixth time (Lés Miserables), while Erwin groggily listens and struggles to stay awake. He notices and puts down the book, quietly slipping away to get a blanket to join him. 
  • Is it just Levi, or are Erwin’s sweaters really warm? He thinks it’s just him.
  • One day they’re out near the cafe at the University when Levi asks him if his tattoos/piercings make him uncomfortable to be around with. He later explains that he just couldn’t bear to stay a part of his past anymore as his own family left him for being gay, not to mention some of his only friends abandoned him after hearing the news. So he started afresh and made a new image that fitted him. He opened the bookstore to isolate himself from his own problems and buried himself in words instead.
  • Of course Erwin nearly tears up (don’t tell me he ain’t a sweet little bun on the inside) and stands up right there in the front of the cafe and crushes him in a hug so tight he hears one of Levi’s piercings come loose.’
  • “Your tattoos are majestic, your piercings are so gorgeous—Levi, I don’t give a dog shit if you wore Crocs and polo shirts everywhere. I’d never let go of you, still, so you can stop worrying about whether I’m uncomfortable around you or not.”
  • “You fine-ass motherfucker you just made one of my piercings come loose. That hurt like hell!”
  • A few years pass. They’ve been dating for awhile and share an apartment with a Siamese cat that’s their adoptive kid. Levi still enjoys how Erwin likes to pop up from behind him and tug him back to the bedroom for more morning breath-filled kisses, and the way he massages each of his tattoos with careful fingers after kissing them. Erwin is quietly obsessed with the way Levi likes to curve around him when they sleep on the couch after reading and the rare smiles he gives when the two of them go  buy books together. He gives Levi piggy-back rides down the block and in turn Levi lifts him easily around again. The punk and dork. Yeah, that sounds like a wonderful combination. It’s also the nickname they’ve received when the others received word of their relationship.
  • The last month of the year arrives, December. They spend their third Christmas together outside, hurtling violent snow boulders at each other and playing tackle in the snow. Crappy Christmas movies come after followed by take-out from Levi’s favorite restaurant. A blizzard hits, but they’ve been expecting it so Erwin sits the both of them down near the tree.
  • The weird shine in Erwin’s pocket attracts Levi immediately.
  • “What’s that?”
  • “Hm? What’s what?”
  • “Don’t play dumbass, you’re hiding something. Come on, it’s our third Christmas and I’ve seen everything from your sloppy eating habits to your dick.”
  • He pulls out the silver ring and Levi suddenly goes numb.
  • Of course, he accepts it with an opened mouth kisses directly on the lips.

The sheets tried and failed to keep him covered, but how was he to blame for Erwin’s annoying habit to hog the blankets, even after he’d proposed?

Not like he was going to sleep anyway. Levi was still admiring the light the window gave him as it reflected off the silver of the band delicately. He’d be glad to sit out in the cold if only to gawk at the ring for another century to come.

1:00, the alarm beside the bed read, the night still fresh and cold from the blizzard earlier. His eyes didn’t want to stay open anymore, to his disappointment. An annoyed grumble, and he yanked part of the sheets to his side, a sleepy Erwin protesting weakly but eventually gave in, turning to face Levi and threw a shaped arm on him to push him closer.

If only he’d seen the engraving on the interior of the ring, though. A pair of wings, marking the start of a future with freedom and choice for the two.


I’m doing this instead of starting my literature paper.