the man who would be bat

a not-entirely-earthling stinky boy

Bruce Wayne is a total Batman fanboy. He has a made to life replica of his favorite Batmobile in his garage and a room set off to the side with all the Batman memorabilia he’s collected over the years. He’s known for spending crazy amounts of money at auctions for Batman stuff and orders his own versions of everything.

No one even bats an eye when he puts in a huge order for batarangs. And he’s so happy about it because when he’d first started out as Batman getting supplies had been the worst part of the job. He’d had a million hoops he had to go through to keep his secret identity a secret. 

He’d thought he’d hated it when people became Batman obsessed, but after he got caught with a Batarang in his pocket at a charity event he decided to go with the fanboy persona. And it worked. 

His children think it’s hilarious and buy him all kinds of weird Batman merchandise. Like the crappily painted Batman figures shipped from China, Batman soap, the plastic masks every store sells, and their personal favorite the pajamas that say “My Batcave is my happy place”

I’m The King

Relationship: Negan X Fem!Reader

Warnings: Lot’s of Cussing, Negan being Negan, you almost being Negan, lots of Badassary


Summary: You’re basically a female Negan and this is how things turn out.


“What do you mean Ray?” You growled at the man who served as your right-hand. The brown haired man shifted nervously until until you gave him a sharp glare and he stopped.

“A group attacked us on our way back from one of the pick-ups.” Ray stated. “Took everything, we killed a couple and they said a man named Negan would deal with us later.”  

You stood up fingers gripping the wooden bat and letting one of the many nails that had been stuck into it scrape along the floor. One of your gloved hands drummed against your desk as you walked into the large circle of men and women that gathered in your office. Everyone was silent and didn’t dare make a noise. “Why does this keep happening Ray?” You hummed  looking the man in the eye. “That’s the third time this month, and frankly I’m pissed. Get a truck ready.”

“But you have no one to collect from until next week-” One of your advisors said.

“Does it look like I fucking care?” You asked raising an eyebrow and cocking your head. “I said get a truck ready, we’re going to The Winterbush colony, they were a little light last time anyways.” You handed your beloved bat to Ray before pulling on your gloves and tugging on the worn leather jacket. “I wanna have a word with this Negan because this shit just won’t do.”


Less than twenty minutes later- your men knew you hated to wait- you were going to the back of one of your trucks. “M’am are you sure you wanna go back there? Your truck is up in front and ready to go.” You clicked your tongue and turned around on your heel slowly.

“Son, if I wasn’t sure do you really think I’d be going to the back of this fine vehicle?” You told him and he apologized before walking away in slight embarrassment. You hopped into the back of the truck gathering everyone’s attention.

“Listen up!” You shouted, all eyes were on you now. “I wanna meet the man they call Negan, give’em a piece of my mind, so that being said, do not stop unless we’re meeting the man himself!”  

You gave a wicked grin before pulling the back of the vehicle down and being enveloped in darkness. You started humming a tune, nothing special, just something to pass the time. After a short while the truck stopped and you scowled stomping over to the large door and pulling a chain that would allow you to open it.

“What in God’s dead earth is the meaning of this?!” You yelled hopping out of the back and walking to the front of your men where a line of soldiers that weren’t yours stood lined up with a bunch of guns. “Who are you?”

“Negan.” A puny little fellow spoke up towards the end of the line.

“That’s real funny.” You whispered in the man’s face. “I’m going to ask again, who are you?”

“Negan.” A woman said and you turned your head, placing your bat on your shoulder before standing in front of the line of soldiers letting out a hearty laugh.

“Well this is real fucking funny.” You said before grabbing a smaller man and shoving him to the ground. “Now somebody is going to tell me who you are or I’m going to bash ‘lil Timmy’s skull in.”

“Don’t get prissy doll, they’re just doing their job.” A large man wearing a black leather jacket and a red scarf stepped out from behind the line of soldiers. A bat wrapped in barbed wire was sat upon his shoulder next to his salt and pepper colored hair. “I’m Negan, and this is Lucille.” He said picking up his barbed-wire bat.”

“Being a pain in my ass is their job? They need a better career choice bub.” The man had a smirk on his face while your scowl remained permanent. You surveyed the Negan, he seemed to think he was king around here, oh how he was wrong. “Y/N, I’m a very busy woman so I’d like it if you uh, ya know, cut to the chase?”

His smirk left his face and was replaced with a scowl that matched yours. If looks could kill you’d both be dead 10 times over. “You killed my men.”

“You stole my stuff.” You snapped.

“That you stole from others.” He chuckled. You rolled your eyes at the man.

“Survival of the fittest, Megan.” You told him raising an eyebrow.

“It’s Negan doll.” The man said looking down upon you, but you ignored him.

“I don’t bash anymore of their towns brains in and they give me whatever the fuck I want them too.” You said lightly lifting your bat to show Negan what you meant. He let out a hearty chuckle.

“Holy Shit guys!” The man laughed putting his arms out to the side and gesturing to you. “It’s me with tits!”

You scowled before pointing a long finger at his chest. “I want my stuff back.”

Negan laughed again. “No can do doll, unless-” He paused for dramatic effect. “You came back to the sanctuary and we made a deal.”

“What kind of deal?” You asked your scowl still permanent on your face, some of your soldiers weren’t sure if it would ever leave your face again.

“We’ll discuss it at the sanctuary.” Negan gave a cocky smirk and you turned to your men. Some were shaking their heads at you but their opinions didn’t matter. You looked towards Ray who gave you a nod of approval before you turned back to face Negan.

“Let’s go boys!” You shouted with a wicked grin. “We’re taking a field trip!”

Negan attempted to put an arm around your shoulder only for you to dodge it and glare at him. You got in the passenger seat of his truck and waited for the man to get in and start driving.

“Nice try. Found this on one of your men.” Negan said getting into the vehicle and tossing one of the walkies you saw Ray pick up and stick in his pocket into the middle of the seat. Even if you didn’t take the deal you sure as hell wanted tabs on the leader of the saviours.

“Well what can I say?” You smirked with your arm hanging out the window as he started driving.

“Sorry?” Negan gave a grin and you rolled your eyes

“This is the apocalypse, not pre-school.” You told him and for the rest of the ride the two of you sat in comfortable silence, your hand never left your bat, you never got that comfortable in the presence of a potential enemy. When the truck rolled up to the gates of the sanctuary you got out looking around as if you were planning renovations to the place.

“Pretty fucking amazing isn’t it?” Negan gave a grin and put his arms straight out to the side showing off his home. “I’d love to see your home, considering I’ve shown you mine.”

“The deal Negan.” You scowled looking at the man clad in leather. He gave a small smirk before leading you inside on of the buildings. He entered a room with a bed and other furniture before closing the door behind you and taking a seat on the couch. You copied his action and waited for him to talk.

“I like you Y/N, I really do.” He began. “You’ve got spunk.”

“I like to think of it as class.” You told the man with a straight face.

“So here’s my bargain, you and I combine forces.” Negan cut right to the chase. “We combine our homes and the places we control.”

“What do I get out of this deal.” You asked leaning forward resting your elbows on your knees and getting closer to the man in black.

“Well, for starters, you could practically rule around here, be a queen, more supplies for your people, I’ll even give you the rest of your supplies my men took.” Negan claimed and you took everything into consideration. “Not to mention you get to work alongside a handsome devil like myself.”

“That’s funny, because back at my home, I’m treated like a King. But I like your deal, so I’ll take it on one condition,” You say.

“Which is?” Negan asks quirking an eyebrow.

“I go on every supply run. I like to be hands on and make sure people know who I am, put the fear into them in case they’ve forgotten who I am.” You declare before sticking out your hand for him to shake. “We gotta deal?”

He shakes your hand and the two of you stand up walking to the doors. “I’ll be back next week, I expect I’ll have a nice comfortable housing space?” You say looking over your shoulder.

“You shall.” Negan says smirking as you walk away. You round up your men and tell them to get in the truck. You turn around and send Negan a wink before getting in a truck of your own. “Gent’s, I think I’m in Love.”

sleepyspacehoee  asked:


Parker and Tyler. I guess it all started when Phoebus was absent from class so coach finally, finally let Parker play. Parker at bat. He doesn’t know his own strength. The ball flew straight across the field and smacked into some dude’s face. Parker could give Dallas a run for his money (pun not intended) 

The coach insisted it was a fluke and went to bench him again when Phoebus came back, and Tyler (who’s favorite playing position is at bat) was outraged 

Well.The baseball team tried to make it up to Parker and tried to get him a soda and free lunch, ‘cause he was awesome, but Coach Williams snubbed him again. 

Ty hung out with Parker after that, ‘cause he felt bad that the dude was always being talked over. They played some casual football nearby Pleasant Creek  and Jonas showed Tyler his scoliosis scar, and Tyler was all, hey man, it would be radical if you showed that to Pops, and she could like, design a tattoo for it, and they went on to discuss tattoo ideas. The Rest is history

it’s incredible that i even have to say this but negan saying “pick whoever you want as long as she says yes” doesn’t make him any less of a sexual predator. what do you expect these women to do? he uses blatant sexual coercion to get them to do what he wants. they, and the people they love, are under threat of torture and death if they step out of line in any way and you honestly expect them to say no to him? to say no to the man who kills people with barbed wire wrapped baseball bats just to prove a point? this guy is keeping multiple women as his wives after killing and disfiguring their husbands for trying to protect them and the only thing you guys are gonna focus on is that one thing he said to dwight? stop with this “they had a choice” bullshit because it’s pretty damn clear what would happen to them if they made the wrong one. y'all will really say anything to defend a conventionally attractive white man.

Unexpected Playtime

Pairing: Jason Todd & Dick Grayson Chapter: 1/1 (Might continue if I get good response)

Summary: GCPD’s new recruit does Gotham some good old-fashion justice and it ends up messing with Red Hood’s business which forces Jason on an attempt to shut Officer Grayson out except things never go according to plan. *****

The talk about this new boy in town just couldn’t shut up anywhere and it was starting to get down right annoying. Gotham City was a strange place filled with strange people, from clown killers to a man in a bat suit saving the day- really, why would anyone move here?! But the new addition to the GCPD has that exact story… new man moved from who knows where to Gotham and causes a hell load of drama just because he’s good at his job for the first fucking week? Jason was having none of that bull, that newbie busted a few of his nice business and made some of his partners end up in jail and now they’re all pointing fingers at him since he promised protection to those who sided with the Red Hood. To be fair, the man was just doing his job and drug deals aren’t exact legal here in Gotham or anywhere else for that matter but still- someone’s gotta put that boy in his place and Jason plans to do it right.

Busting his partners out would be no sweat if the Batman was breathing down his neck and now with the new cop to worry about-

Sometimes Jason thinks the world just doesn’t like him all that much, ya know?

Things have been shaky with him and Bruce ever since he died and came back but the non verbal rule was that if he stayed out of Bruce’s shit… vice versa, and that would sound so easy but it’s not since what he does isn’t exactly a good thing and it’s already hard enough to have that man watching his every move, now he’s got some rookie cop behind too? He couldn’t let it slide since his side was getting anxious so he made a plan.

“Tim… I need you to run a background check for me.” Jason yawns as he spoke through the phone and the other side gave him a small chuckle.

“Let me guess… you want to know about the new recruitment for GCPD, specifically, Richard Grayson.”

“Richard Grayson? So, that’s his name.” His mind repeated the name a few times and it’s got a ring to it.

“The answer is ‘No’. He’s doing a great job and I’m not giving away his info! Find it yourself if you want it…”

“I tried!!! But Bat locked all of it, I can’t even get any records.” Jason groans as he stares at his computer which showed a blank page before he hears Tim snorts over the line.

“That’s not my problem. You should’ve known he would’ve got rid of all data… that man is doing Gotham good and that makes him a wanted man.” Tim always made good points even if Jason didn’t always agree with the younger man.

“We can do this the easy way or the hard way…- remember one of my cameras caught you and you-know-who doing you-know-what on you-know-where while you were on patrol….could you imagine if he found out? My oh my….” he snickers and though he couldn’t see the other’s face, he could imagine that faint embarrassment blush.

“Jason- you son of-”

“Information or I send that clip. I’m not asking for much… just his history, work schedule and address.” Jason hears a sigh before some clicking and then his computer lit up with a new notification of email.

“Promise me you won’t hurt him… Gotham needs people like him.”

“You’re wrong, Tim. People like him…- they die in Gotham.” Jason said like he knew from experience which wasn’t really wrong.

“Jason…” he could hear the bitterness in the younger’s voice and Jason really didn’t need any pity.

“I won’t kill him.” He promised before setting the phone away without hearing any reply from Tim.


Jason spent hours reading over the information and it made sense that Tim didn’t give him anything he didn’t asked for but the new kid’s got history. After making sure he knows Richard inside and outside, the next part of the plan was making sure he knew his moves and his routes so the spying begins. It start of simple with just trailing the cop from work place to home and sometimes watching him do his job and Jason would be lying if he said he wasn’t fond of the other man.

Soft jet black hair and bright sea blue eyes match with tan skin and a lean frame- not to mention, he’s intelligent and funny. Basically he’s the whole package, making all the women swoon and all the men swearing more or less. The plan of scaring Richard Grayson became a bit off as Jason actually starts to become interested and that never ends well. There’s the famous advice of never fall in love with someone you’re working with or working on and Jason can’t say it’s love but he’s surely attracted to a certain degree.

“Fucking gorgeous.” The Red Hood almost growls as he watches Richard from above a rooftop and that boy was kicking crime like he was afraid of nothing and that made him so hot- sweat was running down the side of his face, his white uniform stuck to his body, his chest rising up and down rapidly as he tries to catch his breath and that sexy smirk of his as the criminal was face down and knocked out below his feet. Now Jason would love to scare him and threatened the other with his guns but it kinda feels like Richard wouldn’t be scared after all.

So, new form of approach or at least that what’s he’s telling himself- Jason makes use of the address given and instal tiny cameras all around Richard’s comfy and yet very messy apartment and only giving him privacy in his bathroom. The monitoring starts and yet Jason swears he isn’t obsess over Richard even though he doesn’t miss a single footage and he always repeats that he’s doing it for the mission and nothing else.


The thing Richard does in his home was fairly normal and there were abnormal activities like eating so much cereal and not drowning in that mess he calls a room and Jason wants to understand that he’s a busy cop but a room that messy, honestly can’t be called a room- guess nobody is perfect.

Two weeks of watching Richard in and out and Jason still hasn’t had a solid plan to hunt the cop down and rather he was enjoying watching him do mundane every day things. Today however, was a little special because Richard Grayson has his off day tomorrow and he’s back early from work and in the shower. Jason checks the camera in the living room and decides to idly wait until Richard is done showering and not long after, he hears the showers turn off and it was silent which meant he was changing as usual. Richard turns out to be someone who changes in the shower and not outside in his room or something. This time however, things go different and the phone rings, the door clicks open and the cop comes out with just a towel around his waist.

“Fuck-” Jason cussed on his side as Richard grabs his phone and listens to it. It’s probably a co worker because he starts flipping files and letting the guy know some information here and there. It’s normal to act that way since it’s his own home and he clearly doesn’t know Jason installed those cameras in so walking around his house in noting but a towel seems completely natural. The hard thing was ignoring the throbbing feeling between his legs and Jason really doesn’t care and he most definitely will not masturbate to someone who’s his enemy!

“Yeah- I know. 3 suspects.” As if things couldn’t get any worse, Richard takes a seat on his couch with his legs a little spread open and it gave Jason a pretty good view, and he must feel uncomfortable since the towel was wet so he gets back up and takes it off before tossing the towel to somewhere the camera couldn’t catch and then takes his seat so now Jason has the best view of everything Richard Grayson had and-

“Should’ve just installed cameras in the shower if you’re gonna act like that.” Jason speaks to himself as he stares at the screen. He really shouldn’t be excited that Richard was like that but he was, that boy was beautiful head to toe and you could argue that this is a criminal act- well, news flash! Red Hood isn’t exactly the good guy hero thing.

“I know….” Richard sighs over the phone, leaning back against his couch.

Jason sees the tension behind those blue bright eyes, he sees the tiredness and the stress he tries so hard to push away. Richard was never perfect, people just think he is. For some odd reason, Jason had the thought of hugging poor tired Richard for a second there and maybe it’ll lead to some stress reliving activies- it doesn’t have to be sex….. but Jason hopes it is.

“Alright. Bye.” The call ends and he tosses the phone next to him before yawning really loudly.

Jason watches his every move in the name of ‘mission’ and he’s got to admit, he’s not that surprised at that body since Richard does walk around his apartmemt with nothing but shorts on and those things were tight therefore, it only took a little imagination skill to imagine the shorts off.

“I swear to God-” Jason’s mind went a little too dirty as he thinks this scene could be a cliche one if Richard starts masturbating in front of the camera- isn’t that how most porns start with? But he doesn’t, Richard goes back to the bathroom to grab his boxers and slips them on almost immediately and Jason couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed.

The rest of the evening include ordering some pizzas and then going to bed which truly was boring. Jason shuts his computer off once Richard went to bed and he feels uncomfortable- he feels unsatisfied and that isn’t good news. He gets up and off his seat before taking his shirt off, it wasn’t that late so he better take a shower before going out again. After stripping off his clothes, he heads under the cold spraying water and it makes him feel prickly but the sensation calmed him regardless. Jason looks down at his hard erection and thinks he’s seriously screwed up at some point and he thinks Tim must be wondering why the cop is still happily running around- Heck, knowing Tim, he probably already found out Jason must’ve messed up somewhere along the line. Pushing all thoughts away and just trying to focus on getting a nice shower- he’ll have to act fast with Richard before things get out of hand.


Jason told himself he would have a break from all the investigation and then he would strike Richard Grayson once and for all. The break time was 5 days with no stalking and no watching which would have been easy if fate hadn’t brought Richard right back to him after two days of said break. It wasn’t that all surprising to run into Richard since they’re both sort of in the same line of work. Richard was chasing after some crook and Jason was kinda that crook’s boss’s boss’s boss. Does that make sense? Anyway, some smart thing thought he could steal from Red Hood and Jason doesn’t plan on forgiving- Smart guy runs to the dead end and Red Hood traps the shivering coward who starts begging for mercy at gun point.

There’s no way out of this-

“Stop right there!” He knew that voice, of course he did… he’s been hearing that voice non-stop for the past weeks and he knows who’s behind him in that ready police stance and his gun out pointing at the back of his head. Jason cussed internally at himself for being careless but he didn’t expect anyone here tonight, especially cops since it’s already so late. Red Hood puts his gun away from the traitor and slowly turns back with his hands up in the air, it’s his first contact with Richard. Today’s the first day-

“Put your hands where I can see them.” The cop walks slowly and closer, he was being careful while his eyes scan for any other weapons from either of the suspicious men.

“Hey- Hey look… I’m not the bad guy.” Jason stares at Richard who looks fine as ever.

“Says the guy who’s pointing a gun at another guy- you’re both under arrest.” As he said that, another co-worker shows up out of breathe behind him but he suddenly gasp loudly at the sight of Red Hood.

“Oh my god.” The other cop inches a few steps back.

“Hey.” Jason waves to the other guy.

“Cuff the other, Mic. I’ll handle this one.” Richard narrowed his eyes at Red Hood shrugging his shoulders.

“A-are you sure? I mean that’s the Red Hood, Dick.”

“Would you rather do it?”

“No!” The other cop hurries off to cuff the other man, he pushes the reluctant man away from the two and back to where the car is.

“Hands up high.” Richard sternly says as he holds the gun with one hand while the other starts patting him down to make sure he didn’t have any hidden weapons he could use. Currently, two guns and two knifes were found, but there’s still plenty of ways for Jason to escape so why didn’t he? He didn’t know why, he just really seem to be fascinated by this one and Richard’s hands all over him isn’t a bad thing.

“Look…you got the wrong guy…~” Jason laughs at his own lie and Richard just cuffs him without saying a word.

He was much prettier face to face and even though he’s probably been through the whole rough day, he still smells really good- Jason really has the urge to bite that neck or anywhere else for that matter. He looks at Dick work and the boy was a pro, he even found those small daggers Jason hid that normally people would have missed.

“Officer Grayson right? I heard all about you.” Richard looks so unamused and that’s understandable since he is in front of a criminal that knows a lot of tricks. He’s focus to make sure he doesn’t slip up.

“Hey- If I told you I have a bomb in my pants, would you believe me?”

Dick stopped in his tracks and gives Red Hood a very loud sigh and a raised eyebrow. That statement was so questionable but knowing the crazies in Gotham, it might not be a total lie, though how was he really going to check? He’s sure that the pockets and sides were empty… and he prays the guy wasn’t crazy enough to really chuck a bomb in his underwear.

“You’re crazy if you put that in there.”

“I am crazy.”

This must be Richard’s highlight of his day. Some crazy ass criminal telling him he’s got a bomb in his pants. Red Hood was backed up against some wall while Richard thinks about ways to find the bomb without putting his hands in the other’s pants. Sentences he never thought he’d say.

Technically, they’re both men and there’s nothing the Red Hood would have that Dick has never seen before so it’s all fine right? He also wouldn’t want to bring Red Hood back to lock up and have him blow up the GCPD. Richard puts his hand on Jason’s belt, ready to do what he has to do.

“Oh! Officer Grayson, I didn’t knew you were into things like that!!!” Jason shouts even if he knew no one was near enough to hear it.

“Shut up!!!” Richard flushes deep red before looking around the empty place.

He’s even cuter when he’s embarrassed and now Jason wants nothing more than to make Richard show all his expression- he just wants to see the other cry for him, that’d be adorable.

The truth was, Jason was buying time unlocking the cuffs around his hands and once they silently clicked open, he was focus on getting away though he wanted to spend more time with Richard.

“The whole bomb thing was a lie wasn’t it?” Richard huffs and decides he wasn’t going to do any of that and just bring the other in.

“Maybe.” Jason quickly frees himself and grabs the other by the shoulder, switching their position and the strength that pushed Richaed down was unexpected, it caught the officer off guard. The cuffs were then snapped on Richard’s hands instead and with Red Hood cornering him like a cat does to a mouse, there was no place to run or hide.

“What do you think you’re–”

“Shhhh…. be quiet or I’ll have to stuff a gun in your mouth.” Red hood threatens but Dick didn’t look scared, rather, he seems pissed.

Never in Jason’s mind would he have thought he’d be in this position with Richard but it wasn’t a bad thing that this happened. So many scenarios could play out and it all sounds so delicious to mess around with the man that has been in his mind for so long. Jason takes a deep breathe, thought about his options before talking in a low seductive tone.

“Let’s play, Officer Grayson.”

***** Leave a like if you enjoyed it and do comment if you’re interested in the next chapter. Follow me on Ao3 for fanfics under MilkyLane96.
I'm Not Afraid

Fandom: Suicide Squad

Pairing: Killer Croc X Reader

Rating: Teen (?)

WARNINGS: fluff, mentions of lemon

Notes: first ever, go easy
Right off the bat, something told you that the hulking pile of scales that you had run into in the sewers would not hurt you.

You had been bullied by a few of your so called ‘friends’ and you had escaped into the sewers for your own good. It smelled, it was dark and damp, and your arm was broken.

All in all, not a walk in the park.

You met the crocodile-like man as he was swimming slowly around the sewer, eyes closed. You knew exactly who he was, but something told you that he wouldn’t hurt you.

That being said, you weren’t going to test the fates.

So, you started tip-toeing away and you made it pretty far before a low growl emitted from right beside your ear. You whirled around to see Killer Croc towering over you.

“Who are you?” He growls.

“My name’s (Y/N).” You said cooly, but your tone confused the meta-human in front of you.

“You’re not screaming.” He said.

“Nope.” You said, popping the 'p’.

“…why aren’t you screaming?” He asked.

“Who should I scream?” I asked.

“Are you blind or something?” He asked.

“Nope.” you repeated.

“Then why aren’t you screaming?” He yelled.

“Because I’m not afraid.” I said honestly.
It had been a year since you had met Waylon Jones AKA Killer Croc, and you two had grown quite close, you even developed a crush on him. But you still continued to live your normal life when you weren’t with him, and right now that includes walking late at night.

You usually didn’t run into any trouble, since the walk from (work/school) wasn’t that long, but today was different.

Today, you could only scream as a man grabbed you and pulled you into an alley. You weren’t worried though, Waylon would save you like he usually does.

“Give me your money, or I shoot.” He said as the man poked a metal gun into my ribcage.

“Ya, that’s not gonna happen.” I smirked. For a moment, the man looked confused before a clawed hand ripped him away from my body. The same hand later began to rip the guy’s flesh and you sighed and ran over to Waylon, placing a hand on his rough arm.

“It’s okay Waylon, he’s down.” I said.

“He could have hurt you.” He growled.

“I have you Waylon.” I said, hugging his bulky frame. “I’m not afraid of a puny little guy like him.”
A month later, after you both had finally cracked under all the sexual tension, you and Waylon finally began to make out.

The kisses had started out soft, like they always do, but because both of your sex drives were at an all-time high, it quickly escalated.

Kissing Waylon, of course, was different than kissing any other guy. His teeth made hard to French, but neither of you were overly huge fans of the action anyways. His mouth was bigger then yours, but it somehow wasn’t a problem when it mattered. But still, every kiss sent sparks through your body and pleasure into your veins.

You moved you hands from his head to his chest, slowly rubbing his hard muscles as he growled at the action. In return, his hands moved southward from your hips and gave your ass a slow squeeze, sending a moan through your neck.

Quickly, you went to remove your jacket as you started kissing down Waylon’s neck, you hand still moving down his stomach. Just as your hands played with the button of his pants, Waylon sprang away.

The force of his flight sent you to the ground in a heap of confusion and you rubbed you head as you looked up at your lover.

“Waylon? What’s wrong?” I ask.

“What’s wrong? What’s wrong is that the most beautiful girl in the universe is about to sleep with me! Me! A monster!” He growled as he punched the cement wall of the sewers. You sighed the words 'not this again’ rolling through your head before you got up and wrapped your hands around his fist. Your eyes met and you smiled gently.

“I love you Waylon, and you’re not a monster. If you don’t wanna do this then fine: but of you do, please don’t rub away from me.” I pleaded. Waylon sighed and moved his hand to cup your cheek. You smiled and leaned into the touch.

“I love you so damn much…” Waylon muttered.

“Then make love to me Waylon.” I said. “I’m not afraid.”

Are Dragon Age 2 and Fable 2 the Same Game?

Of course not, that would be silly.  But they are eerily alike.  Don’t believe me?

You start right off the bat with your character.  You can be a man or a woman, but no matter what, you are a human with the name of a bird.

Okay, how does this tale begin?  Well, to put it simply, no matter what you do, your sibling dies in the prologue.

But that is mere emotional background for this tale.  Your true adventure begins when you encounter a mysterious older woman, who is named in myths going back hundreds of years.  She tells you what to do, and for good or ill, you must follow her directions.

Despite your losses, you’re never alone, as you have your faithful canine companion to help you!

And off you go, to explore the world and engage in combat with lots and lots of waves of very similar enemies.

That’s just the set up.  Both games emphasize choice and you will have a lot of hard ones to make.  You won’t be making them alone, however.  You will team up with a strong angry redheaded woman, a mage whose escaped from a tower, and a selfish yet skilled and sexy pirate, all who will chime in with their opinions on your every decision.

Years go by between plot critical missions.  You grow and the world grows with you and your choices.  No matter what you do though, you can’t really avoid becoming famous.  Everyone you encounter knows your name, and for good or ill, you are a pillar of the community.  This doesn’t mean people won’t still ask you to do fetch quests or simple bounty hunt missions - it simply means you’ll probably still do them despite being rich enough to retire.

Despite all the branching, a few things are still eerily similar.  Remember that mission where a necromancer collects various dead body parts and assembles them together in order to create his one true love?

Also, there are stupid hats.

I rest my case.

Members of the Justice League all have the misconception that the Bat Cave was the most secure location on-planet bc it was Batman’s domain.

They forgot to take into consideration that Batman has four overly protective sons (although Jason would deny it) who have concerns regarding the man their father is currently seeing. No matter how reliable Clark is, he could still kill Bruce with a look, hence the concern.

Bruce knows about the bugs of course, he did train the boys after all. But he leaves them in place. It was just how their family showed affection.

edwardsnowden-suggestion  asked:

who takes on the roll of child protective services in an anarchist society, if anyone?

Man oh man this one was longer than I thought it would be.

So, I partially answered this one in a past exchange with @runningrepublican. Stefan Molyneaux also tackles it starting on page 130 of Practical Anarchy. I think both are sufficient, but let’s see if I can make it better. First, my original response (or the relevant, non-flavor bits):

First, violently abusing your child is a NAP violation. Possibly the most grievous of NAP violations. So right off the bat, any individual in an anarchist society would have the right (though not the obligation) to interfere, even with violence, if they were reasonably sure that such abuse was occurring.

Now, going by Murray Rothbard’s view (which seems iffy to me though it’s possible but not likely that I may have some emotional bias clouding my logic), “neglect” isn’t a NAP violation unless you take the stance that the child somehow entered into a voluntary contract with their parents wherein they would receive food, shelter, care, etc. and in turn provide […] care for the parents when they get old? For the purpose of moving the discussion along in a constructive manner, we will assume that this is indeed the case and that Rothbard was wrong.


Next, I could answer your question of “but who would take care of ‘The Children’?” in two ways. I’ll get the condescending one out of the way first:

Why, good people like you and me, of course. People who claim they care oh so much about the poor, defenseless children. Each individual would carry the burden, if the welfare of the children is so valuable to them that they would condemn humanity to live under a coercive state just for the mere promise that they will be protected, of intervening in cases of child abuse. Just as you or I (and I imagine many others) would intervene if we saw a mugging or a robbery or some dude beating his wife, it would be on the individual (or, in the worst case scenario, the lynch mob) to put their money where their mouth is.

The other, more practical answer, would be that, as a condition of taking on the services of many a DRO, or maybe health insurance company, you would stipulate that in the event that you had children, you would not beat them. Just one solution off the top of my head.

So, let’s take this first in a world without DRO Let us imagine that we live in a suburban neighborhood, and down the street, there is a house. In this house, we are reasonably sure that there is a young boy, aged 11, who is regularly physically assaulted, undernourished, and overall incontrovertibly abused to an extent that there is consensus that his rights have been violated, to the point that he spends most of his days locked in a closet under the stairs by the people who were supposed to protect him, and that all alternative guardians are deceased, incarcerated, incompetent, or otherwise disabled.

We will call this boy Harry.

So. The first, most obvious option is, as I said before, for good men to simply remove the child from the hostile environment. Kick the door down on the kid’s birthday, bend the owner’s shotgun with your bare hands, and (with the kid’s consent) remove him from the house. If you lacked all discretion or were sufficiently enraged at the sight of the boy’s forehead scar, you might find it in you to, in defense of this child, kill every adult in the house responsible for said abuse.

You can see, how this presents several issues, especially as we add more complexity here. The question of who would take care of our young boy-who-lived in the absence of his “guardians” first and foremost. Well, Hagrid, you rescued him. You could do it. Raise him on your own and send him to wizard school. OK. Not possible.

The second option would be to send him to a private foster care facility or orphanage. These would be funded either through private charity or by those who had some economic interest in a lack of street urchins and juvenile delinquents in their community. This example still takes place in the modern west and not a Charles Dickens acid trip, though I suppose that there is a chance that, as a condition of living in these facilities, children could be made to work to pay for room and board (though they would of course be free to leave and find alternative employment and living if all else failed, otherwise this is simply prison for abused children and a repeat of the original issue). We can safely assume that such an option would be immensely distasteful to all of us, so it would once again fall on private charity to provide for these children so that it does not come to that, if alternative guardians could not be found.

Now at the end of this you are no doubt thinking “Now wait just a minute, this sounds like an awful lot of hassle, and I may care about this children, but if I’m being honest, I don’t want to go through all that trouble and undertake all of that risk. Why can’t we just have an organization that can kidnap children from their families with little to no evidence, and put them in foster homes that are incentivized to take in as many children as possible with little regard for the quality of their care?

I would say of course that that is a very strange way to put things, Albus, but luckily it need not be so, particularly when we have DROs.

Stefan Molyneaux, if it was not obvious, abhors violence in all its forms. This sometimes leads to him bending over backwards to find non-violent solutions even to violent problems, to the point of impracticality, but the fact that he was able to find such solutions in the end means that slightly less obtuse solutions could be derived from them.

So, for example, Stefan suggests that in a free society, parents would be held responsible for any of the violent behavior exhibited by their offspring, and this would deter parents from raising aggressive children. It would be a bad idea to be a drunkard who beats his son, he reasons, if you must pay the cost when your son takes out his rage on another child and, say, smashes their teeth. Therefore parents will be inclined to drunkenly beat their children less.

I will leave it to you to see the glaring flaw in that plan.

But it does stand to reason that DROs could simply impose additional costs to insure and protect children of parents who engaged in “risk behaviors” that would increase the chances of that child becoming a problem later. At a certain point, looking for a DRO that doesn’t impose such costs becomes like looking for a health insurance company that doesn’t penalize smoking.

If these price adjustments fail, there are more active measures. A DRO could offer incentives to attend some form of counseling or take parenting classes.

If the child continues to exhibit antisocial behavior (and short of regularly monitoring the inside of people’s homes, that is the only way to tell if a child is being abused), DRO may decide, having exhausted all other options, to simply offer to take custody of the child and have the parents pay some form of child support so that the child can continue to go to school and not need to go to some sort of Dickensian workhouse.

The parents may decide, being sufficiently insulted at this point, may just decide to go to a different DRO that will “mind its own fucking business”, but while another DRO may be incentivized to offer their services for slightly cheaper than the previous one, the new DRO will find out, one way or another, even if the previous DRO has to straight up tell them, that this family is engaged in child abuse and presents a significant financial risk.

“Ah,” you might say, “but what if they simply choose to go without DRO protection at all?”

To which I would raise an eyebrow, scoff, and say “then I wish them luck.” I would also note that the Dursleys are now at this point going through an awful lot of trouble to safely abuse their child, which should set some alarm bells ringing for others in the community to solve this the old-fashioned way.

I am of the belief that at the end of the day, even the most abusive of parents love their children deep down, and would try not to let things get to this point, in defiance of all reason and financial incentive. And those parents that truly do detest their children to this extent would be happy to be rid of them, unless they hate this child so much that they are committed to abusing them no matter the cost. My father is a school psychologist in the city, and I would have to ask him if he has ever encountered such a thing, because I am hard pressed to imagine it, but i suppose the evil of humans is not limited by my own imagination.

Also, consider that there may be something wrong with the culture in which you live. Living in America, I could not even begin to think of a free market solution to, say, the culturally sanctioned rape of young boys in Afghanistan. Likewise in our own culture, I could not for sure tell you how the free market would solve the problem of, say, parents ostracizing or verbally abusing their children for coming out as gay, or other forms of abuse that have no visible negative results for anyone else, or forms of abuse that manifest in the form of emotional instability or resentment in adulthood long after it is their parent’s problem, but I would also ask what Child Protective Services has done for these children today. We are on tumblr after all, it’s not hard to find someone who can answer that with “fuck-all”.

And as Stefan says:

For instance, most parents prefer to have their children educated – even parents who abuse their children.  Most  schools  would  doubtless  prefer DRO  coverage  for  their  students,  because “unprotected” children would be more risky to have around. Thus, in order to get their children educated, parents have to have a DRO contract that protects them. If you are a bad parent, it will be almost impossible to avoid the significant costs imposed upon you.

Furthermore, I would prefer that my DRO refuse to insure parents without also insuring their children, because I care deeply about the health and well-being of children.

I am sure that I am not alone in this desire. 

The fact that you and so many others ask me this question can tell you that he isn’t.


KQED POP: Kate Bush: A Crash Course for the Non-Believer

Her albums have inspired many artists who’ve come in her wake, such as Bjork, Tori Amos and Bat for Lashes. But she also has influenced a few musicians that might surprise you, like Tupac, Courtney Love, Prince and Johnny Rotten. Tricky from Massive Attack has said: “I don’t believe in god, but if I did, [Kate Bush’s] music would be my Bible.”

Big Boi apparently spread the Kate Bush love to his band mate Andre 3000, who had this to say: “Kate Bush’s music opened my mind up. She was so bugged-out, man, but I felt her. She’s so f*ckin’ dope, so underrated and so off the radar.”

If it’s good enough for Outkast, it’s good enough for you.

See some of her music videos & learn more

Good shit...

Oh snap! Got tagged by @goldslactuar AND @biomorphically

Name? Laura
DK or CQ depending on who’s taling to me

Zodiac? Sagittarius 
Sexual Orientation?
Cis, but honestly the way I write I think I actually might be a gay man or poly. *shrug*
If i were any whiter I would give off light.
Favorite Fruit?
Favorite Season?
Favorite Flower?  
Tiger/Stargazer Lilies 
Favorite Scent?  
Well loved leather, open ocean, or cedar.

Favorite Animal?  Anything in the chiroptera family. (bats) 

Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate? Coffee is the shit. It gives me live. But Chai, Earl Gray, and Jasmine tea are amazing in their own right. 
Cat or Dog?  
Dogs. Strictly because I HATE cleaning a litter box. Smell too. 
Dream Trip?
A mild weather mountain retreat. Complete with a lake/river to go fishing in and trails to hike. 
Number of Followers?  
400+ and growing. Why people love me outside the porn i write I’ll never know. 
What do I post about?
FFXV mostly. Occasional other fandoms. but XV is 99% of it. 
Do I get asks on a regular basis?  
I would love more. I really only have a few. 
Favorite Band?  
This is gonna sound awful, but I really don’t listen to too much music. I prefer stand up comedy on my Pandora mix. Patton Oswalt, Louis CK, Pete Holms, Tom Segura, Jim Gaffigan. Stuff like that. 

Fictional Character I’d date?  Would probably have to be Ignis. Although I did essentially marry an older, bald, Prompto <3
Hogwarts House?  

Imma tag whoever wants to do it, but also @prompto-loco , @peachypotpourri @cinnaminxie . Sorry for double taggin’ if i did it!

one punch man au where everything is the same except genos is really bitter and sarcastic and he's constantly gossiping about the other S class heroes and saitama loves it

b-atmans  asked:

Hold on, please.

It was no question that Selina was not careful in regards to her own safety. She had never really cared, nor had she bothered to learn to take care of herself. But, with the entire Bat family, it had seemed like she was starting to get better about it. Like, she was going down the right path, finally. 

She could hear Bruce shouting, but as if she were underwater, sinking further and further from him. His hands gripped to her shoulders were like nothing more than the tug of her tight clothing. She had always thought death would be more obvious, or at least more instant. But, here she was, staring up at the blurred face of the man who had changed her life; changed her heart. 

She smiled, reaching up weakly and cupping his cheek as tears streamed down her own. She was soaked with blood, her hair plastered to her forehead, and still, she managed some form of grace in her final moments. She was shaking horribly, and it was obvious she was in pain, but she still smiled. 

As if to tell him it would be okay. Because someone had to. She parted her lips to speak, but coughed, blood staining her lips and dripping down her cheek. 

“Don’t…look so….sad,” she croaked out, closing her eyes for a moment and wheezing a breath, “I’ve seen…years of…frowns…. and only so few…smiles.” 

She pulled him down the best she could, pressing her lips to his, her lips cold; no longer melting to his in a fiery passion like they had for years prior, speaking in between kisses “You know,…I was foolish to think one day, just maybe, I’d walk down the aisle to find you waiting there for me…but, if I have to go…. I want my last moments…with your lips…on….m…”

Selina was a fighter to the end, struggling against the hands of death just to keep him company for as long as she could, but she fell limp all at once, head tipping back and losing all signs of life, her chest becoming still and hand falling from his face to hit the pavement below. 

Man, let’s give Bruce Wayne a boyfriend, let’s give him a cop boyfriend who grew up poor and has seen the damage batman has done to people like his father and his family who had to find criminal work to survive, and hates batman for it, but absolutely adores bruce for everything he does to help Gotham and combat the root of the problem.

Let him instantly see there’s more to bruce than just “brucie” and have bruce have no idea what to do, have him want to know everything about bruce and actually be patient enough to wait till bruce is ready. Have him worried being seen with a man would hurt bruces reputation and bruce be like “fuck that you’re amazing”

and most important, have every bat family child available to meet him, love him

if there was a real man who owned some kind of nebulous billion-dollar company in a city riddled with crime who was dressing up as a bat and punching bank robbers instead of fighting the root causes of poverty and crime, I would be right there with you in saying that he should use his resources more responsibly

as it stands, Batman isn’t real, and superheroes are more fun to read comics about than non-costumed philanthropists

SuperShorts: Sheri Cherriwood

#1: Who Are You?
Sheri turned to the strange woman before her and gave her a glare. “Tell me, who are you?” She asked after a while’s silence between the two strangers. The woman sighed.  “…I..I don’t know I thought I knew. I thought I had it figured out. I thought I was on the right path…” She stammered. A snort escaped from Sheri as she replied, “No, I meant who are you? What are you doing here?” The other woman simply shrugged and walked away, blushing.

#2: The Gentle Giant
A smile and flirty eyelash batting. A quiet whisper in the dark… and a tender touch. Hitched breathing… giggles. Seconds of ecstasy… then silence.

Sheri braced herself for impact as a large man swung his arm at her, but just as he would have touched her, another hand grabbed his arm and threw him on his back. “You never hit a woman,” A gruff voice snapped before the man that was larger than the first turned to her. “Are you okay?” The worry was evident on his face as he looked her over. She smiled gently at the kind giant. He had saved her, and for that she was grateful. “I’m fine, thank you.” They shared a look before the man offered, “Can I walk you home?” She glanced up at the house they stood in front of. “This is my home.” The worry had returned to his face as he amended his offer. “Then can I stay with you unti this jackass leaves you alone and I feel you are safe?” She considered the offer and nodded. “Please. Right this way.”

The man stayed the night at her house. They shared a bed and his gentle touches made her feel safe for the first time in years.

#3: The Wedding
Sheri had tears in her eyes as she slowly walked down the aisle, staring at the kind giant that had saved her from her ex fiance 7 years ago. She sniffled quietly and wiped her eyes dry. She couldn’t believe it was happening… that they were getting married. It felt like a lifetime ago, yet only yesterday that he’d saved her, that he spent the night with her and was there for her for the first time… but certainly not the last.

She reached her fiance and let go of her father to take hold of her husband-to-be’s hand. “I love you,” She lipped at him and he smiled. The large man had tears in his eyes too and she smiled, staring into his bright blue eyes.

Then the priest went into his speech. “We gather today…”

I hope you guys enjoyed this. I kind of love Sheri now even though I just made her up lol. And I kind of love her husband-to-be even more… <3 what an awesome man to save her and then stay with her till she felt safe. God, what a sweet man. I love it! Anyway, ahem… enough of my gushing about my own writing xD uhhhh… oh yeah! So the first story was inspired by this prompt by @ifuckinwritestuffmate. I hope you guys enjoyed my SuperShorts. It felt pretty good to actually get some STORY writing done rather than the skits I’ve been pretty stubbornly writing lol. Anyway!!! I’mma shut up now :x