the man is a liar

a n y w a y s I think I’m just gonna hoe my way thru life and never let a man tie me down cause y’all are liars anyway. Goodnight my lovez c u on the flip side :-) xxxxxx

I still don't know if he ever got his coffee.

I’m not 100% sure this even belongs here and I’ve posted this story elsewhere so some of you might have read it already.

Some background: I work in a rather specialized area of Forensics. Officially I’m employed by Police Scotland but they tend to let other law enforcement agencies, universities, etc borrow us from time to time. A lot of the time it’s for consulting work or guest lecturing but sometimes we’re sent to teach training courses.

About 18 months ago I was asked to lecture at a training course for some of the CID higher-ups in an English Police force. It was the first time I’d done anything like it and I was crapping myself.

I met with the conveners and other officials for dinner the night before my first day, and after dinner and drinks, I was dropped back at my hotel.

So to set the scene; it’s about 10pm, I’m all dressed up in my evening wear and I’m sitting at the bar in the hotel lounge. The place is dead, it’s just me and the barman so I’ve taken off my heels and am unraveling my hair having just ordered a hot chocolate. The barman asks if I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. Yes, of course I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. No I don’t mind waiting while you run to the kitchen.

So I’m sit there trying to trick my phone into connecting to the hotels WiFi when Angry Man walks in.

He stomped into the room and slammed his fist down on the bar about 3 ft from me and barked out one word:

“COFFEE”

I didn’t know it but apparently that attempt at communication was aimed at me; a fact I learned a moment later when Angry Man moved right up next to me, bent over me so his face was practically in mine and barked out again;

“COFFEE”.

In an attempt to get away from the screaming coffee man I slipped off the bar stool, putting it between the two of us. Extremely confused and more than a little terrified, it didn’t immediately occur to me that he thought I worked there, hell it wasn’t even registering that he wanted a coffee. He was just repeating it the same way a toddler does when they learn a new word but don’t entirely know what it means.

I’m going to blame the confusion, fear and tiredness for my completely moronic response, which was to parrot the word back at him.

Me: “Coffee?”

Angry Man: “COFFEE”

Then he slammed his fist down on the bar again. This time I noticed that he was actually throwing down money.

My brain suddenly came back online.

Me: “Oh. Eh, the barman should be back in a sec. H-”

Angry Man: “Get me a coffee. Now.”

Ooooh four new words. Progress.

Me: “I’m sorry, mate, I don’t work here.”

Angry man (shouting now) “You fucking lazy liar!! Do you think I’m fucking stupid?”

Yes, actually, but I’ll be keeping that to myself.

Angry Man: “Get off your fucking phone and get me a shitting coffee”

Me: “I really don’t-”

Cue rant about me being the only person in the lounge so of course I must work there and I was just being lazy and did I take him for an idiot. All while I’m slowly backing away from the bar so he can’t pin me between it and the bar stools. Then he throws in this:

Angry Man: “Do you have any idea who I am? Do you have any idea how important I am?”

I never got to find out how important this guy thought he was. Instead Angry Man’s Friend came wandering in.

He took one look at me; pretty much cornered by Angry Man who is now screaming about how he’ll make sure I never work again while I’m trying to calmly tell him to back off and he tries to intervene.

He took Angry Man by the shoulders and moved him back away from me while asking him what was going on.

Angry Man: “This stupid little whore is refusing to serve me”

Me: “I really don’t work here”

Angry Man’s Friend: “She doesn’t work here. Let’s just all try to calm down”

There was a few moments of Angry Man’s Friend trying to calm Angry Man while he ranted about getting me fired until two barman arrived, one of them with my hot chocolate. The presence of the three men distracted Angry Man enough for me to grab my shoes and escape with my chocolatey goodness.

As I left I could hear him demanding to speak to a manager.

The next day, after being introduced to a lecture theater full of high ranking CID Officers, I stood and walked to the podium only to be greeted by one guy in the audience laughing hysterically.

I just sort of froze trying to figure out the joke. Did I have food on my face? Was my shirt on inside out?

A quick check confirmed that, no. I’d managed to adult that morning.

A few other people began to chuckle as this guy struggled to get a hold of himself. As he regained control he pointed to his left.

Where a very red looking Angry Man was sitting.

I think it was the sheer relief that he wasn’t actually laughing at me that caused me to open my mouth and say to Angry Man;

“Oh did you get your coffee in the end?”

He walked out and I didn’t see him for the rest of the course.

RPG Maker Fever Undead and Deranged

Warning:This article may contain spoilers and the content inappropriate for children…or may not contain.But get the children away from the screen just in case.

Good morning! Or is it already evening? Meh, as if it matters…cellar, where I’m chained and writing my articles  is pitch-dark 24 hours per day. So, today we’ll learn how to make friends, control the undead and have a happy dream ( with some experimental drugs involved).Now then, shall we get started?

1. 1bitHeart

Alright, here goes our first title, made by the author of Alice Mare and LiEat series. 1bitHeart is an adventure game, where your goal is to make as many friends as possible . Game plays similar to Ace Attorney series, but with some QTE-scenes, while setting and atmosphere is kinda similar to TWEWY.You can make 49 friends in total, all of them have unique appearance and personality. Plot of the game is pretty good, dialogues are well-written and sometimes hilarious. Besides, every dialogue has it’s own mood supported by stylish well-chosen music track and quality voice acting. Additionaly I want to praise 1bitHeart’s presentation, since  both artwork and sprites are extremely beautiful .

2. The Boogie Man

And here comes the Boogeyman, the Boogeyman comes for me. Here comes the Boogyeman, he’s gonna take me in my sleep…Nah, actually not. Here comes the latest installement in our favourite  the Strange Men Series. This time with the fully voiced in-game cutscenes (and skippable as bonus). The Boogie Man stays true to series and plays like classical horror-adventure with action cut-ins. At some point of the game you can even play as our old friends -David and Sophie, but new protagonist Keith is quite notable too (he’s my personal fav to be honest).Overall the game makes very good impression, the story is interesting and dialogues are bright and entertaining (with many references to previous games).

3.  END ROLL

I’m not the sensitive type, but  even I was kinda hesitant to play this game at first, since it has waaay too many suggestive content, supported by quite a lot of graphic violence.But after beating it I can state that this game is totally drugtastic. END ROLL plays like quality role-playing game and somewhat reminds the wild mix of the Gray Garden and Re:Kinder, but with better story-writing and gameplay I believe. Game has plenty of  unique dungeons (all of them has some plot-related meaning behind it) as well as tons of optional content, which along with well-designed and interesting characters make END ROLL very enjoyable.

4. Guuzen ~ Ningyou no ito

What? Don’t tell me you’ve never heard about the rite named “doll’s prayer” .You’ll forget all of your worries and  path to the Heaven will open before you. But the place, our heroines’ve found themselves in, can be hardly called Heaven. I wasn’t expecting much from this game, but it turned to be quality horror with beautiful character designs, memorable soundtrack, logical puzzles and surprisingly mature story. The game reminds us that we’re often starting to value something only when it’s already lost.Sadly, right now  Ningyou no ito is only available in chinese, japanese and russian.

5. Liar Jeannie in Crucifix Kingdom

Yet another full-fledged role-playing game has made it to my list.And kinda tough, I must say. Imagine what if Dark Souls was the turn-based RPG with cute nun as protagonist and you’ll get Liar Jeannie… more or less.Unlike many RPGs, this one doesn’t  have any levels, and your stats and basic skills fully depend on your current equipment (by the way, every item in this game can be equipped). A special mention is deserved for game’s bosses - there’s a few main bosses and a lot of optional ones -all of them have their own battle tactics and require some thinking before acting ( especially Pleiades Knights-you want to defeat them, trust me).Also, if things during the fight will become real ugly, you can always summon expendable monsters as your allies (or living shields,heh).

6. At the Tale End

Here we have a game, which looks like a regular fantasy-adventure, but only at first. Plot includes our standard party of heroes (fighter,mage,priest and thief), cursed princess and battle with the local dark lord.But each of these elements plays very different from your typical fantasy stories.At the Tale’s End is definetely a unique experience, a role-playing game in it’s original meaning, without countless random battles, but with a certain weight of responsibility for your actions within a narrative.Also this game has detailed and interesting world as well as quality animated cut-scenes.

7. Pocket Mirror

A long-awaited Pocket Mirror has been finally released this year. And I’m amazed with  enormous amount of work made by the  team of developers.When it comes to game’s graphic, Pocket Mirror is stunning. Beautiful artwork and memorable soundtrack help to create this mysterious, unique atmosphere of dark fairy tale. And with that Pocket Mirror has some gameplay issues. You see, while some puzzles are interesting, most of them is quite uninspiring, some of the locations are pitch-dark and hard to navigate.And with that plot of the game is quite complicated,but doesn’t make much sense,if you don’t pay close attention to numerous in-game notes and letters.This game is definetely not bad,but still leaves some feeling of unpolishness.

8. The Maid of Fairewell Heights

Despite the fact that story of the Maid takes place at the haunted apartment complex, this game has no horror elements. Maid feels more like comedy anime straight from ‘90s. Gameplay (along with main character’s outfits) varies depending on the room your’re currently exploring. Starting with regular cleaning you can end up playing detective or running the shop. Game has bright illustrations, good humour and overall is pretty good.

9. Libretta

I’m sure everyone knows that beside translating games vgperson also makes their own, and Libretta is one of them..This game  definetely gives an interesting experience. While playing similar to Ib, Libretta has it’s own unique atmosphere and somewhat complicated plot, where everyone can find something for themselves (or so I think). Libretta has memorable soundtrack and interesting puzzles, requiring some thinking from the player Also playing shirigories between chapters is kinda fun.

10. Imaginary Friends

Imaginary Friends is a classical rpg-horror-game with quality visuals, well-thought puzzles and some minor chasing scenes. While story lacks originality, it’s still interesting to follow, since charactrers are nice and game has several endings. Game is about 3 hours long and leaves mostly positive impression. So, if you like old-school rpg-horrors-be my guest.

11. Red Trees

While having some minor horror elements, Red Trees stays warm and relaxing adventure game with humorous and ironic view on horror genre and quite unexpected ending in a way. Graphic style of the game and whole atmosphere of a local town is somewhat reminiscent of Mother series.Gameplay is quite simple and consist from few “find-and-bring-to-the- right-person” puzzles, which can be easily solved in 30 minutes or so.

12. The Stairway

Like Red Trees this game is also recommended for players, who’ve already tired from jumpscares, explinct content and overthinking bizarre puzzles. This game has simple yet nice story, unique visuals and some easy logical puzzles.So, if you want to neatly spend 30-40 minutes of your time, try and climb The Stairway to see what’s awiting you at the very end.

13. Friendship

The most fitting description for Friendship would be “horror for the beginners”, since it can surprise or startle you only if you haven’t played any other rpg-horrors before. In fact Friendship doesn’t stand out much compared with better quality school horrors ( like Misao or Amayado Bus Stop ).But it doesn’t mean that the game is bad-Friendship is a good way to spend 30 minutes seeing how strong attachment to a friend can turn simple game into yandere-horror.  

14. By Ourselves

 And here comes our closing title about two former classmates, who’ve found themeselves trapped in the room. Game is only 10 minutes long and basically is one big locked door puzzle. You find the first hint and then successively exploring the room for the way out. Game has two endings determined by how much attention you’re paying to your comrade in distress.

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PSA: if your grown ass man is too scared to accidentally brush up against a wrapped tampon, it’s time to find a new man. Your period is natural and shouldn’t freak him out. #RemoveTheStigma #PrettyLittlePSA

the most disappointing part about this episode other than that bogus ass nightmare was the fact that they put alison and ian’s kissing rock video in the promo as if it was going to be this huuuuuge throwback to season 1 and us getting some legit answers………but it only turned out to be a loop that was only on the tv for 15 seconds max

that its always sunny “science is a liar sometimes” screencap except its “avengers are liars sometimes” w/  “captain america (bitch) / iron man (bitch) / captain marvel (bitch)” 

and scotts presenting it