the male chef

During Jack and Bitty’s 2nd summer together...

So Jack is in Georgia for a couple of days, right, and he comes back from a morning run to find both Bittle parents in the kitchen eating breakfast (Bitty slowly dragging is ass out of bed, he can hear the bathroom upstairs). 

Suzanne greets him with a smile, Coach with a nod, Jack sits down to eat. Usually, there’s a fair amount of chatter- even without Bitty- because Jack is comfortable with both parents, but now they’re eating in silence. Throwing furtive glances at Jack. At each other. At Jack again.

Jack’s stars feeling the tingle in his fingers that announces his anxiety. He counts the seconds until Bitty leaves the bathroom- no, that was the sound of the shower. Alright then.

Suzanne places her mug back on the table.

- Jack, sweetheart, we need to talk to you.

Coach takes a sip of coffee and sits back straight.

- …Alright? says Jack.

- We’ve seen the way you look at Junior, says Coach in a matter-of-fact voice.


(more under the cut)

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Okay but literally I love the Food Network so much like

- They are so diverse, there is not one show of Chopped/Cutthroat Kitchen/Guy’s Grocery’s Games that I have seen that does not have an assortment of races/cultures (white, black, Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Mexican, French, African, etc), both judges and participants

-They are a family channel that is wonderfully supportive of LGBT chefs; I’ve seen a fair amount of gay and lesbian chefs on it and the judges/hosts are always super supportive

-They do children’s versions of a lot of their shows, which is really good for children’s self esteem, to see kids their age able to do such cool things

-They have yearly competitions to help one group of people learn to cook better and another group to obtain their own show on the Network (and the first group isn’t chosen by them, there are literally kids/husbands/wives/partners who send in letters begging the Network to help that particular person cook better). 

- Guy Fieri. Most unproblematic fave in the entire Network. 

-They are so fast to get rid of problematic people as soon as they recognize they are a bad person (Paula Deen, anyone?)

- In every competition, unless specifically stated otherwise, they do their damnedest to have at least one female chef compete which is difficult since male chefs outnumber female ones. 

-They regularly have competitions between Food Network chefs and give any money they “win” to a charity. 

- They always give money to children who are impoverished and are in need of school lunches

Like I can’t…think of anything I don’t like about the Food Network? Except that I CAN’T EAT THE FOOD I WATCH THEM MAKE

If Marvel Studios was a restaurant group that opened various restaurants

and they started opening a bunch of different Asian fusion cuisine/Asian-inspired restaurants.

They’ve seen success in the other restaurants they’ve opened.   Every single restaurant they’ve funded so far has been headed by a white male executive chef.   

(Scuttlebutt has it eventually there will be a Wakandan restaurant opening at some point.   There’s been some black pastry chefs who have been featured in their existing restaurants.  There’s also a famous chef who is a woman who has worked as a sous chef in the two Avengers Restaurants, and the Captain American Restaurant and Iron Man Restaurant, but she hasn’t been given a chance to open her own restaurant as of yet.*)

More recently, they’ve opened restaurants for white chefs who went to Asia and learned how to master making xiaolongbao or omakase and other specialties…with some Asian American cooks and dishwashers in the back.  

And then people pointed out, “You know what, the way they’re funding these restaurants is messed up. When it is an Asian cuisine-inspired restaurant, they only ever seem to to fund them when the chef is white. This new restaurant concept and branding is part of a systemic problem and doesn’t sit well with me. I am critiquing the concept and the branding and their bias for only sponsoring white chefs, even when the cuisine is from Asia.”

And you’re like, “Oh, but you have to wait until the restaurant is open and eat every single dish at the restaurant before you can critique it at all.”

People are critiquing the concept of the restaurant, the branding, and the focus on chef Finn Jones, who by all accounts is not that great of a chef (or great at promoting his restaurant.) Not the food.


*She wasn’t having any luck getting Marvel Restaurant Group to give her her own restaurant, so she went to Dreamworks Restaurant Group and started her own robot-themed sushi restaurant inspired by a restaurant from Japan.  This restaurant will be opening later this month.   When people pointed out that Dreamworks Restaurant Group also only seems to also sponsor white chefs in their chain, will they ever given Asian chefs a chance, etc…. fans defended the decision saying things like “well, yanno, shellfish sushi is racially ambiguous” and “this sushi is made by robots, so it has no ethnicity” and “when I look at photos of the restaurant from Japan I really can’t tell that the sushi was meant to be Japanese.”

4

In the Male Chef kitchen, I’m always looking for new ways to manipulate, play with, and eventually ingest my meals. After running a food blog for some time, me and the rest of my Male Sous Chefs have been invited over to VICE for a chance to explore the rear-end of food culture even further.

I wanted to kick things off by exploring the idea of “food hacking,” or finding the fastest and easiest ways to change your cooking habits so you can maximize your life’s efficiency. Bearing this goal in mind, I turned to one of the most efficient environments I could think of: the corporate office. 

Well... This happened...

Celeric (Male Human Bard/Chef): May I talk to you for a minute… Do you mind…?

Amearann (Male High Elf Fighter/Artificer): Not at all…

Celeric (Out of Character): I pull Amearann aside and take him to the outside part of the camp.

Celeric (In Character): I have something for you.

Amearann (In Character): Go on…

Celeric: I know I’m not an expert Artificer like yourself, but I hope you’ll like it all as well…

Celeric (Out of Character): And I pull out the small ring I’ve been keeping this whole time…

Celeric (In Character): This is for you. Not as a token of my gratitude, but as a sign that I’ll always be close…

Amearann: But, what are you -

Celeric: Just so that, wherever you go, I’m there.

Celeric (Out of Character): And I hand him the ring…

Celeric (In Character): Know that, even though the meals you eat afar may not be as good as mine, I’ll always have a hot meal waiting for you when you come back.

Amearann: *Silence*

Celeric: I’ll always be by your side.

Celeric (Out of Character): And I kiss him on the cheek and walk away…

Entire Table of Players and Me: *Stunned Silence*

The Curse That Broke A DM’s Heart...

I’m typing this after our most recent session, and I can’t help but put this into writing…

As I’ve said, right now only two party members are in the Feywild. Celeric, the Male Human Bard/Chef, and Amearan, the Male High Elf Fighter/Artificer. 

The other 3 party members are currently on the Prime Material Plane fortifying their base before the coming assault.

After travelling through the Feywild, and camping out with a caravan of Wood Elves and Forest Guides, they finally arrived at the shrine of an evil Fey being, led by a withered pixie who calls herself Broamhand.

After a great battle between them, Broamhand finally fell, but not before bestowing a great Curse upon Celeric.

And for those who want to see it, here it is…

Dark Eyes of Broamhand (CURSE)

For the duration of the curse, the being, of any gender, race or size, who you are destined to fall in love with, becomes invisible to your sight and hearing.

You are considered Blind and Deaf while interacting or attempting to communicate with this being.

This curse effectively means Celeric, who has a HUGE crush on Amearann, as revealed before, cannot see, hear or communicate with his crush.

This was so tragic because when Amerann healed Celeric, after he was knocked to 0HP after being hit, the first words spoken between the two were:

Amearann: You’re back!

Celeric: Amearann? Amearann! Amearann where are you!?!

Amearann: I’m here. I’m right here!

Celeric couldn’t see or hear Amearann, Celeric’s eyes become glazed over grey and black, like swirling clouds…

Eventually, Amearann holds his hand upto Celeric’s face. And Celeric could only feel the warmth of his hand….

And Celeric hugs Amearann. As tears begin to fall from Amearann’s face, and Celeric cannot even hear him shed a tear, only feeling the warmth of his embrace and the moisture that was his tears.

I genuinely felt terrible for doing this, there is such a relationship developing so quickly between these two.

But I had to…

Celeric… Amearann… Please forgive me…