the lost voices

I love how Rafael is connected to Jane’s writing. 

He was the one she first shared her writing dream with. 

He was the one who told her to be brave and not take the practical road. 

Years later he was the one who asked her if she was becoming a teacher because she was afraid. 

He was the only one who called her a writer. 

She started writing after he talked to her. She thanked him later because he played a part in making her realize if she wanted to write then she would just have to do it. 

He was the one to read her first book draft (that never worked out.) He always reads her writing.  

Years later, when she lost her voice he was the one who pushed her to write again. 

When she was afraid he pushed her again to stand up and share her story. 

And now that she is an author, he got to sit right beside her and enjoy one of her proudest moments at a place that helped her become a writer. 

I think this is why I fell in love with them.

Vixx 05 24; 5th Anniversary

Five years have passed since these 6 dashing concept kings entered the lives of Starlights.
It feels like yesterday when I realized I’m bound to them. On and On era was a getting to know stage while Hyde era made me see just how much these guys can still grow. I knew I was ordained to be a Starlight. It was like a season of drought in my fan girl life since the only group I’ve been a fan of the longest is Cnblue.


Vixx songs have comforted me in my loneliness and in the midst of feeling so lost. Ken’s voice can easily comfort me. He and Leo makes me want to burst out and try belting their songs eventually making me feel good in the process. Hakyeon’s voice is unexpectedly one of the sweetest I’ve heard in the K-pop scene. 

One of the reasons I can’t seem to get away from Vixx is bracause of the lyrics of their songs. It’s all so consistently sweet and romantic. I hope I’m not the only one who sees it this way, because it’d be a waste. Vixx makes Starlights feel so precious… just like a precious princess. Personally, they make me feel so special and good about my self even if it’s a mere fantasy in my fan girl life. I don’t expect men in reality to be like that, not even 0.01 percent. Vixx makes sure to relay their love and how much they treasure Starlights so I hope they get at least 10 times the love they give. 

Another reason is I love how unique they are always. From song, stage outfits and MVs! Their music videos are something that is always well thought of with a mystery and a story of its own. Sometimes, I feel as if it’s to the point it made Starlights smart when it comes to making theories. Lol. Especially the MVs for their Greek gods trilogy concept. Their the some of the few most mind boggling MVs I know where you keep guessing the story until someone actually explains. Or in case you’re not very familiar with the Greek gods. It’s funny because this trilogy concept came when I was trying to revisit and learn more about Greek gods. Though I still am not THAT familiar…maybe the basics? 

Nevertheless, Vixx MVs are always unique and unequaled. Also, has anyone noticed how they’ve become trend setters? I see several boy groups wearing similar stage outfits with Vixx once their done with a certain era promotion. Like the silken tops from Love Me Do or the brouch instead of a tie or a ribbon around their necks for Closer. I’m just very pleased to see Vixx starting a trend of their own.

Watching Vixx through Vixx TV and now even more shows through the internet, I feel like I know them already and that we’ve been together, though they are so far. I’ll forever be thankful for their existence and that chance to watch Utopia. I’m still hoping to see Vixx for a full concert again. I’ve decided not to give up on that.


Five years in the running and Vixx has been one of the busiest groups out there and I mean EVERY member. I’m happy to see all the members have work and are reaching their dreams. I too, hope to reach mine, though it may seem a little late right now, I’ll do my best.

Thank you, Vixx for accompanying and making me happy during all those sad times. I would listen to your songs or watch Vixx TV and the world somehow felt like a bit of a better place to live in.

P.S. Doesn’t Vixx look like royalty in these stage outfits? I’ve never really seen a whole group look so princely before except for Arashi’s Matsumoto Jun but he’s just one member (sorry, ohno, ninomiya, sho & aiba).

Katara: It’s not magic. It’s waterbending, and it’s-
Sokka: Yeah, yeah, an ancient art unique to our culture, blah blah blah. Look, I’m just saying that if I had weird powers, I’d keep my weirdness to myself. 

So I wanted to talk a little about Katara, because I think we often focus on her grief for her mother, and forget her relationship to her culture, and her experience of the Southern Water Tribe genocide (unlike the Air Nomads genocide, which was for the greater part over after four big terrifyingly effective simultaneous strikes, this one took place over a long length of time - more than 40 years? 50? - and it wasn’t total, but it definitely was one. genocide = the deliberate and systematic extermination of a national, racial, political, or cultural group, fwiw)

(Kanna’s village - before and after)

All of the Southern water benders were exterminated or taken away to rot in prison (where they all died eventually except for Hama). Katara was born the only bender left in the whole South Pole. Then when she was eight years old, she survived a raid that was meant to kill her, but took her mother instead (she probably was too young to realize that, to her it must have been a question mark up until she met Yon Rha - gratuitous cruelty? Why her mother in particular? They took nothing else!).

So Katara from a young age had a double burden to bear: that of her mother, and the legacy of her bending (and she was shown as painfully aware of her situation and what it meant on both front). But here’s the thing: Katara could be a mother, she was naturally good at it, and her grandmother could teach her what she didn’t already knew. Her family and tribe demanded that of her, they needed her to be that for them (especially after her father and the rest of the men basically abandoned them). However, there was no one left to teach her how to waterbend - she had almost no hope of ever becoming a master without formal training, her brother thought it was silly and weird and let her know, her grandmother thought it was a waste of time. But she kept practicing, because she knew how important it was, to her and to her tribe, that she kept trying (as the only one left who could).

(…an ancient art unique to our culture, blah blah blah…)

(Of course she would obsess over that waterbending scroll)

When she gets to the North Pole, she meets Pakku, and with him the opportunity of finally becoming a true master. But because she is a girl, he judges her unworthy. He judges her, the only remaining southern waterbender, unworthy of carrying on their culture. The Fire Nation didn’t care about the gender of their prisoners, men and women - they all fought side by side for their freedom in the South, and they were all taken away to the last one, and killed to the last one. In the South, the women had the choice to learn how to fight, or be defenseless. And privileged master Pakku couldn’t possible realize the extend of what he was denying her in that moment.

Katara had to prove herself, she had to earn her right to these teachings. And if she had been less good or less stubborn or not Kanna’s granddaughter - well the North would have refused their sister-tribe the power to use their common cultural heritage to fight back against the nation that destroyed them.

(It’s sexist and terrible.)

Meh, thankfully, she was that good, stubborn, and Kanna’s granddaughter, and she did get to become a master.

Good.

But, of course, her story doesn’t end here, and wrt her culture, the next chapter is a much more traumatizing experience. In the Fire Nation, she meets another master. This time it’s an old woman from the South like her (“You’re a waterbender! I’ve never met another waterbender from our tribe!”), and she is, ah, more than willing to help her.

Look how happy Katara looks at the idea to learn from her in particular:

Katara: I can’t tell you what it means to meet you. It’s an honor! You’re a hero.
Hama: I never thought I’d meet another southern waterbender. I‘d like to teach you what I know so that you can carry on the southern tradition when I’m gone.
Katara: Yes! Yes, of course! To learn about my heritage… it would mean everything to me.

But when Hama starts her lesson, the techniques she teaches have been obviously developed with one goal in mind: survival in enemy territory. They can’t possibly have been invented in the South Pole, where water is abundant everywhere. They are deadly and cruel, and the damage they do to the environment leaves Katara sad and uncomfortable, but Hama waves that off as unimportant. It doesn’t matter, she doesn’t have the time to worry about flowers or beauty or nature. To her that peace and beauty is probably just an illusion anyway, a lie: years after her escape she is still living the war, and war is ugly and rotten and messy (her world is ugly and rotten and messy - this is her comfort zone).

The last technique she teaches Katara is bloodbending. She forces Katara to learn something she finds disgusting, repulsive (just like Hama was forced to learn?) by torturing her (Hama was tortured), by overpowering her, invading her, making her lose control over her own body, bending her blood (Hama herself is clinging to the last remain of control she managed to get back after rotting in prison for years), and finally by threatening to have the two people she cares most about in the world kill each other right under her eyes (Hama lost everyone too, she had to say goodbye).

(Katara: But, to reach inside someone and control them? I don’t know if I want that kind of power.
Hama: The choice is not yours. The power exists…and it’s your duty to use the gifts you’ve been given to win this war. Katara, they tried to wipe us out, our entire culture… your mother!
Katara: I know.
Hama: Then you should understand what I’m talking about. We’re the last Waterbenders of the Southern Tribe. We have to fight these people whenever we can. Wherever they are, with any means necessary!
Katara: It’s you. You’re the one who’s making people disappear during the full moons.
Hama: They threw me in prison to rot, along with my brothers and sisters. They deserve the same. You must carry on my work.)

And this, this, is the only truly southern waterbending Katara is ever going to learn. This is her tribe’s bending heritage, what’s left of it: blood, grief, suffering, hatred, loss of control over both your body and mind (because it’s terrible, but I think that’s what’s implied by the show: bloodbending makes you lose your mind. Hama’s only mean of regaining physical freedom ended up trapping her in another nightmare). Hama gifts her with a power she despises (but will use anyway in her darkest hour when she loses control) and a philosophy of violence and revenge.

Katara chose peace and forgiveness. As an adult, she will have bloodbending outlawed, she will become the greatest healer in the world, and she’ll teach her daughter, the next avatar, probably many others. These choices matter, and we should talk about them with that background in mind. Katara redefined her heritage - or rather she created a new one for herself: she refused the condition that was forced upon her (bloodbender) and ensured nobody could legally do to someone else what Hama did to her (and it’s implied this law is valid anywhere in the world). She transmitted Pakku’s warrior teachings, the ones she fought for, to the next generations (and did a great job of it!), but she also taught them how to heal, refusing to separate the arts as in Northern Water Tribe tradition - and healing was something she discovered by herself, that she felt was always a part of her. At that, she became the universally acknowledged best. Her legacy, despite everything that happened to her, will never be one of violence.

tl;dr: Katara is one of the strongest fictional characters ever created bye

this is the opposite of a problem

Sometimes you lose people, and there’s just nothing that you can do about it. Sometimes you lose something that you love. Sometimes you’re replaced by someone else and shifted to a not-so-important place in that one confidant’s heart. Sometimes relationships change and you end up feeling a little bit lonely. Sometimes you just aren’t the right fit, you just aren’t the soul that that other person needs.
—  🖤
don't get me mortal sick
  • Mark with squeaky voice: dark.. I'm.... sick..
  • Darkiplier:
  • Darkiplier: what did you do
  • Mark: I lost.... my voice.. again
  • Darkiplier:
  • Mark:
  • Darkiplier:
  • Darkiplier: what you lost is my trust get the hell away from me