the lost isle

I don’t mean to come off as aggressive, but truth be told, I’m about to utterly destroy this interview with Dove Cameron. I am not doing this because I don’t like her, I’m just infuriated by this theory. I am a reader, and I read the prequel books before watching the movies. This stuff doesn’t align with the books, and I’m peeved about it. All my fellow Divergent and PJO fans know that when a movie doesn’t follow the books, WE. GET. MAD!

Let’s start with the claim that Uma and Mal’s rivalry is partially based around Harry. Here is where that actually comes from. Uma and Mal were partners-in-petty-crime when they were little kids, kinda like bffs. One day, the two wanted to prank Cruella De Vil by dumping sea sludge on her. However, the sludge spilled and Mal slipped off the dock. Uma initially laughs at the accident, but she becomes panicked as she desperately searches for her friend, who also can’t swim. Mal never actually fell off the pier. She appears behind Uma and dumps a bucket of smelly shrimp on her head. The smell of shrimp never went away, and Mal nicknamed her Shrimpy. Since then, the two were always in competition. (“from the sandbox to the doomball court”) Their 13th bday parties were even on the same day. “Mal always came out on top.” Uma’s fury intensifies when Mal is selected to go to Auradon and not her. Uma is envious of Mal because she always beat Uma, and Uma just wants to win. Their bad blood is based on a gradual one-sided battle and years of jealousy. Basing it on a guy belittles Uma’s motives and makes her look petty. She’s not; she has millions of reasons to hate Mal, and none of them are Harry.

Now let’s talk about Evie. Actually, let’s talk about their whole gang’s origins. It started as Mal and Jay, the worst kids of Dragon Hall and partners-in-crime. Carlos was a runty nerd in school, and Evie was the new girl. She was castleschooled (homeschooled) her whole life because when she and Evil Queen were banished when they she was a kid. Why? Because her birthday party was the same day as Mal’s, and everyone went to Evie’s. Mal was upset, so Maleficent banished the Evil Queen and her daughter to a lonely castle. Bottom line, Mal started out hating Evie. When Evie goes to Dragon Hall, her first friend is Carlos, and neither are too keen on being evil. One day, Maleficent asks Mal to retrieve her dragon eye scepter from the Isle of the Doomed, and Mal hatches a scheme to make Evie grab it and fall into a death-like sleep. Thus, the rotten four is born. Mal brings Jay and invites Evie who brings Carlos. However, Mal develops as a person over the journey and saves Evie from death by grabbing the scepter herself (She only sleeps for a few minutes because she’s related to Maleficent). Bottom line is that Evie was not some replacement for a kicked out gang member. Uma was never apart of Mal’s gang because it started long after Uma and Mal’s rivalry began, and Evie was one of the original members of the gang anyway. Suggesting otherwise puts majority of Mal’s character development to waste and disregards her relationship with Evie. Also, Uma was never in her gang, but she constantly tried to join. Mal claimed she wasn’t big or bad enough, but she was actually threatened by the presence of leader who might just be as evil as her. Thus, the rivalry intensifies. Again, Uma has plenty of reasons to hate Mal.

The part saying Harry and Mal were each other’s first loves makes next to no sense. The evidence for this lies more in the first movie. First, Evie says Mal never had a boyfriend. Next, Mal says that there isn’t really dating on the Isle, just gang activity. Finally, she tells Ben that she doesn’t know what love is. Saying that Harry was Mal’s first love makes illegitimate Ben’s efforts to help Mal learn how to love. It’s Mal’s discovery of love that enables her to develop as a character and defeat her mother. Dating Ben was supposed to be what transformed Mal, and implying that she has loved another before makes her development in the first movie almost meaningless.

Now for the part about Harry getting dumped and joining Uma’s gang. Uma doesn’t get a crew until after the events of the first movie because she concludes that she needs one to beat Mal’s gang. Uma is described as Harry’s longest friend on the Isle, meaning he knew her before he knew Mal. And yes, THEY ACTUALLY SAID FREIND!! When they were young, Uma started ordering him around, and he let her(Gil was there too, but he drifted away and came back when he found out they needed a crew). When Uma says she wants a crew and a ship, she makes a bet with Harry. The winner is captain and the loser is first mate. Ya’ll can figure out who won. Anyway, Harry was always friends with Uma, and he joins Uma’s crew because he wants to, not because of a silly rivalry between former gang mates and a broken heart. There is no mention of a distaste for Mal on his part. In fact, when Uma is hell-bent on getting a crew so she can beat Mal, he wants her to lighten up and have fun with him by causing mischief or something. He doesn’t care about the kids in Bore-don; he just cares that Uma’s upset. The idea that Harry joins Uma’s crew in spite of Mal downplays Harry and Uma’s friendship.

In glorious conclusion, this theory makes a mockery out of the books written to support the movies. Why bother having Melissa De La Cruz write them if you’re not going to agree with the story line? I feel like the actors and directors should read these books so they understand their characters’ motivation. I mean, didn’t Dove Cameron do a promotional video for Rise of the Isle of the Lost? I thought she read it!

I’m not doing this in spite of Dove’s relationship with Thomas. Their personal life is none of our concern, and as a fandom we need to respect that. However, her story does harm to the canon in the following ways: it bases Uma and Mal’s years of tension on a guy and petty gang drama, it turns the beginnings of Evie and Mal’s relationship into a mere replacing of someone else, it turns Ben’s role as Mal’s reason to be good into a lack luster second rate, and it makes Uma and Harry’s relationship based purely on mutual hatred for Mal.

Their backstory is nice, but I ask that they keep their personal life and professional life separate. I really liked the books, but this makes them pointless. If they’re going to force this onto us, don’t expect me to believe a word of it. It lacks evidence from the written text, puts De La Cruz’s work to waste, and shoots down loads of character/relationship development.

Thank you for your consideration.

Things that the vk’s definitely do at Auradon Prep

- the core four saying “what do you mean you have to go to class everyday” 

- hiding candy and other sweet foods the isle didn’t have in their rooms even though they know they can get more whenever they want 

- sleepovers that fairy godmother pretends not to know about  

- mal practices magic with jane 

- evie tutors people in chemistry and also math because she is so smart and pure 

- carlos wears jays jerseys 

- people start to come to jay to get their hair done because have you seen his hair he knows everything about styling 

-  group hugs always 

- girl talks every week after their first group girl talk in the grass 

- they all have the auradon prep therapist on speed dial because life on the isle was awful and they are not okay all the time 

- their classmates can’t figure out if they are actually all together or just really close buds

- comforting each other after nightmares until they feel safe again no matter what time it is 

- convincing evie she’s beautiful without makeup  

- being her models with no complain 

- reminding each other their parents can’t hurt them anymore 

- making sure carlos knows he is a free person and doesn’t need to do anything for anyone anymore, protecting him from his past 

- jay gets a job on campus and uses the money he earns to buy trinkets that he would have previously stolen and he gives them to the other three as presents 

- they all know how much it really means for him to buy things instead of feeling like he needs to steal it for his father, he is his own person now 

- mal still uses her mother’s spell book to help her friends and it’s her way of showing them she loves them all 

- she is also very sensitive and craves contact, so someone is always touching her

-holding hands, hugs, light arm touches, she loves it all   

- getting better slowly but surely together 

10

incorrect pirates and recreation (3/?)

bonus:

You're My Future

Request:  can I request a harry hook imagine where reader is now with harry but she used to date jay so when the vks come back to the island harry is afraid past feelings can resurface but reader assures harry not to worry and all fluffy please!!

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, a tad bit of angst

Words: 970

A/N: Jay seems like the type to cheat on his girlfriend (at least when he was on the Isle) so I kinda added that little tidbit in for a bit of spice! I hope you enjoy!


Isn’t it funny how your past just never seems to leave you alone? It doesn’t matter how long ago it was or how much you try not to think about it, but it’s always there. And your past happened to be standing right in front of you. 

“Hey [Y/N]…you look good. How are you?” Jay asked as he stuffed his hands in his pockets, shifting awkwardly from side to side as he looked at you. He kept looking over his shoulder, and for good reason. He and the others weren’t exactly welcome on the Isle anymore, so he had to watch his back.

You crossed your arms. “Oh, I’ve been great.” You said bitterly, you’ve always been one to hold grudges against someone. And you felt that him cheating on you was a very worthy reason to hold a grudge. 

Jay sighed and ran his hand through his hair and looked at you. “[Y/N], please let me explain-” He started to say when suddenly your name was called from elsewhere so you both looked over as your current boyfriend made his way over to you both. “Hook.” 

“Jay. What are you doing with [Y/N]?” Harry asked, putting his arm around you and pulling you in for a pretty heavy kiss, pulling back after a moment to look back at Jay, and you knew that Harry was trying to get the point across: you were taken. 

Jay frowned as he looked at you, then his eyes went on up to Harry where the sad look turned to a glare. “I was just talking to her, catching up. She’s her own person, you know.” Jay snapped, crossing his arms as he glared at Harry, who kept his calm composure, even though you knew good and well he was itching to hook someone.

“Harry. Let’s go. Now.” You said, giving him a look and not wanting this to get out of hand. “You need to save your energy for the fight.” You said, pushing him away and looking back at Jay. “It was nice to see you.” You said as a formality, pushing Harry away. You hoped that was the end of that, but it seemed to you like it was only the beginning.

Harry barely looked at you after that, and if he spoke to you it wasn’t his normal self, it was more one or two words to acknowledge the fact that you said something. 

After a few days of this treatment, you got sick and tired of that real fast. “Harry, what the fuck is going on with you? Ever since Jay-” You began to say, only to be cut off. 

“Ever since Jay what? I’ll tell you what. Ever since Jay came back you’ve been looking out towards Auraboredom all longingly, do you miss him? Come on, flat out tell me! I’m a man, I can fucking take it!” Harry snapped, finally looking at you and letting it all out. 

“Harry, what the fuck are you talking about? One, I’ve always wanted to go to Auradon, you know that, and two, I can’t believe you’re insinuating that I actually miss Jay! You know how I feel about him.” You said, glaring at Harry and crossing your arms, feeling extremely hurt by what he was saying. 

“How you feel about him? What, like you miss him?! Like you want him back?! Why else would you be so quick to pull me away from him, [Y/N]? I always told you if I ever saw him again I’d hook him for you, for what he did to you. Yet when given the chance you pulled me back!” Harry screamed, glaring at you and you looked up at him, tears filling your eyes. 

“I pulled you back because I didn’t want you to do anything in the heat of the moment. I never said I wanted you to hook him. Do I like him? Fuck no. Do I want him back? FUCK no! Does that mean I want him hooked? Fuck no. Because I want you, Harry. I don’t want anyone else. I could never want anyone else, Harry. And I can’t believe that you would even think that I would ever leave you for someone who hurt me so badly in the past.” You said, finally breaking down and letting yourself start to cry, putting your head in your hands. 

You stood there crying for a little bit, and after a couple moments, you felt a pair of strong arms wrap around you awkwardly. After letting you cry it out for a few minutes, Harry pulled back and tilted your head up with his hook so you’d have to look at him. “[Y/N]… my love…I’m so sorry. I…I didn’t mean to make it sound like that. I just…” He sighed. “I know how much you used to love him. Because you did. And I’m just…I’m afraid that since he came back, you’re going to realize that you still do.” He said, his voice cracking some on that last sentence, and you saw a tear fall down his cheek, some eyeliner going with it so you reached up and wiped his eyes. 

“Harry, I don’t love Jay. I love you. I used to love Jay, but I don’t anymore. You can’t change the past. But that’s just what Jay is…my past. And you’re my future.” You whispered softly as you looked up at the crying pirate, you unsure of how to console him because you’ve never seen Harry cry before, so you just stood up on your tip toes and gently pressed your lips to his, putting as much intimate passion in the kiss as possible to ensure that he knew just how much you loved him and that he was your future. 

Can We Just Talk

about how horrifying the Isle must be to live on a daily basis?

I mean, the Disney villains are not good people. Even the normal folks are either strong or tough, smart, or persuasive and cunning enough to hurt people. Frollo, Cruella, Sykes, Tremaine, Helga Sinclair, Madame Medusa, Clayton, Gaston, these are not people you should probably mess with. 

Then you have animals - even the regular ones are mean and will take a chance to hurt you for kicks. Take Si and Am, the dogs who chased Lady, Lucifer, etc. 

And of course, wild animals like Scar, Shere Khan, Mor’du, Sabor (possibly ESPECIALLY Sabor - that cat was VICIOUS). 

There are divine seeming entities out there - You’ve got Chernabog, the Firebird, and Hades on this Isle. 

Never mind those who may not seem threatening without magic but are still quite cunning and resourceful and fully capable of making you miserable - Maleficent, Grimhilde the Evil Queen, Jafar, Yzma, the Horned King.

Heck, there are people who have armies and crews with them - Captain Hook, Shan Yu, the Queen of Hearts (who might actually be WORSE on the Isle - her husband used to pardon everyone who she condemned to beheading. She doesn’t have her husband on the Isle).

You have folks who are experienced rulers and know how to use those talents to hurt people - Hans, King John.

Just - WHOSE BRILLIANT IDEA WAS IT TO ALLOW CHILDREN TO BE RAISED HERE?

Little things about the “Did I Mention” scene that make me stupidly happy:

  • Ben snatching the microphone away from the announcer
  • Ben genuinely looks like he has no idea what he’s doing at the beginning
  • literally no one but Audrey is surprised by Ben spelling Mal’s name and half the audience awww’s because they think it’s adorable
  • Evie participates in spelling Mal’s name
  • Doug counting in Spanish
  • Evie being hyped, while Mal’s just traumatized
  • Mal’s “I brought this on myself” reaction faces
  • Ben literally falling to his knees and rolling around on the ground like the adorable puppy he is
  • Carlos just shrugging after he and Jay have to pull Ben back to his feet
  • Evie grabbing Mal’s arm and sings in her face
  • a third of the choreography is just the entire tourney team pelvic thrusting
  • Ben blowing a kiss to Mal
  • Mal’s little gasp after the team throws Ben in the air
  • Ben wolf-howling throughout the song
  • Ben starts stripping and the entire team just points at Mal in the bleachers like this is no big deal
  • the fact that other girls actually try to catch Ben’s jersey
  • Mal’s smile after she catches Ben’s jersey
  • Jane is the knight mascot
  • Ben jumping onto two people in a horse costume
  • the team catching Ben after he slides off the horse mascot
  • the cheer squad boys throwing their future king into the stands
  • Ben crowd-surfing over to Mal
  • Mal attempting to run away the second she realizes what he’s doing
  • Evie physically stopping her from leaving and turning her around to face the mess she has created
  • Mal using Ben’s jersey as a shield when he tries to kiss her
  • Ben immediately pulling her into a one-armed hug after she doesn’t let him kiss her
  • “I love you, Mal! Did I mention that?” Yes, Ben, yes you did
  • Mal clinging to Ben’s jersey for dear life
  • the abrupt cheerfulness of “Chad’s my boyfriend now!”
  • Audrey and Chad sharing the only actual kiss in the entire movie
  • Ben snatching the mic out of Audrey’s hand
  • Ben loudly yelling “Mal! Will you go to the coronation with me!?" even though Mal is literally standing right next to him
  • Mal shouting "Yes!” just as loudly into the microphone
  • Ben excitedly shouting “She said yes!” even though everyone obviously heard her
  • Lonnie being super excited for them
  • Ben still tries to hold onto Mal’s hand as he walks away
  • Mal holding Ben’s jersey up to her chest after Ben leaves
  • the fact that literally no one acts at all put off or confused by the fact that their future king just performed an entire impromptu dance number dedicated to someone who is not his girlfriend
Like Father, Like Son

Request:  Could you do a Harry x reader where they have a child around 4 or 5 and while the reader is at the store she leaves them with their kid and she comes back to Harry giving her/him a mini hook and tries to teach them to sword fight?

Warnings: Cute Daddy!Harry, lots and lots of cute Daddy!Harry

Words: 1,366

A/N: I love these sorts of fics omg I was hoping someone would request something like this! Thank you so much for requesting!


Harry Hook was a lot of things. He was psychotic. He was impulsive. He had a thirst for violence and he was well-known around the Isle for his explosive temper. He followed Uma like a puppy dog, but he was no follower. Despite all of this, he was a great boyfriend, even though others didn’t see it. You did, he just wasn’t exactly the most affectionate of boyfriends, to the point where the Harry the world saw was a cold and distant boyfriend.

So that’s why when word got around that you were pregnant with Harry Hook’s baby, the words ‘loving dad’ was not what came to mind. Most people were afraid that he’d end up hooking the kid in the middle of the night during a colic episode. It was either that or he’d just up and leave you to care for the baby yourself. 

But the Isle once again got another surprise: Harry Hook was an amazing father. Upon you going into labor, while even you thought he’d be running around like a chicken with his head cut-off, he was calm and collected, having everything ready and planned out. He knew just what to say to calm you down in your labor, and after your son was born, he did everything he could to make your life just a little easier. 

He did late night store runs. You both took turns to change diapers. He got you as many pillows as he could find on the Isle so when you nursed the baby you would be comfortable. He even saved up enough money to get a small house by the docks. “A ship is no place ta raise a baby! He could fall in the water! We’re moving. End of discussion.” He had said. 

Overall: Harry Hook was a great dad. And your son absolutely adored his father, similar to the way that Harry adored his own dad. Just about every day your son begged to follow Harry to the ship, although you just weren’t comfortable with that yet since your son was still in that overly hyper stage and he didn’t think much of the dangers of being on a pirate ship. 

“Aye, Henry, listen to ye mother. If she says no, that means no. Don’t ye argue with ‘er.” Harry would tell him, although he would never let your young son know that he agreed completely. 


One day, you realized you needed to do your weekly grocery shopping, although you really didn’t want to bring Henry along with you. You loved your son, but even you had to admit that taking a four-year-old grocery shopping was a bad idea. “Harry, baby, will you watch Henry while I go shopping?” You asked, watching as Harry looked up from the television. 

“Aye, sure, love. When do ye think ye’ll be back?” He asked. 

You thought about it for a moment before shrugging. “I don’t know, to be honest. I won’t be too long though, I’ll be back in time to fix supper.” You said, smiling as Henry ran in from his room with an old toy that Gil had gotten him, Henry jumping onto the couch next to Harry. “Henry, mommy’s going shopping. I’ll be home soon, listen to your father.” You said, smiling and going to kiss his head. 

“Bye mommy!” Henry said, kissing you on the cheek before you grabbed your things to head out. You had moved off the Isle about a year before, so you were now living in Auradon as a happy little family, which made life about a hundred times easier since you didn’t have to worry about getting robbed every time you close your eyes. 

Not long after you left, Harry went and looked out the window to make sure you were gone before looking at your son. “Aye, I got a present for ye, lad.” Harry said, going into the bedroom you both shared, your son running after him.

“A present? For me? Really daddy?” Henry said as he followed Harry, going to sit on the bed as Harry went to dig in the closet. 

“Aye, I did. But ye can’t tell yer mum about it. So this is going ta be our dirty little secret, alright Henry?” Harry said, looking back at Henry who nodded and pretended to zip his lips and throw away the key, Harry chuckling before getting a small box that was very poorly wrapped, going over to Henry and sitting down next to him. “I wanted to wait for yer birthday next month, but I figured now’s as good a time as ever,” Harry said, watching as the young child shook the box to figure out what it was. 

“What is it?” Henry asked curiously. The young boy looked up at his father and watched as he motioned to the box to tell him to open it, finally tearing open the wrapping and opening the box that was inside, screaming with joy when he saw what it was. “A hook a hook! It’s like yours, daddy!” Henry said, grabbing it and bouncing up and down.

Harry laughed at the young boy’s excitement, reaching over and patting his back. “Calm down, son! Ye’ll poke an eye out and then yer mother will have me head on a stick!” Harry laughed, watching as he swung it around as any child would. “Careful with that. Now Henry, listen to me, son.” Harry said, making the child stop to look at him. “That isn’t a toy ta play with like ye other toys, son. Ye can’t just swing it around, ye can hurt yerself or someone else.” Harry told him. 

“Then what can I do with it, daddy?” Little Henry asked as he looked up at his father. 

“Well, as of right now ye can just carry it around like what daddy does with his hook. I just don’t want ye gettin’ hurt, son…so no running while you have it in ye hand, okay? When yer a little older then we’ll see.” Harry said, just wanting to let his son know that he could seriously get hurt with that if he didn’t go about it carefully. 

Henry frowned, but gave a nod since he could tell his father was being serious. “Okay, daddy…” He said sadly, holding the hook in his hand and looking at it when Harry got an idea. 

“But, with me bein’ a pirate, I suppose I do have ta teach ye how to sword fight,” Harry said, smiling as he looked at the boy before leading him out back to play with a couple plastic swords that they had gotten him so he could play with some of his friends. 


The two of them got a little carried away, neither one of them noticing when [Y/N] arrived home from the store. “Harry?” You asked as you carried in armfuls of groceries, usually Harry being right there to help you unload the car. Upon hearing laughter from outside, you raised an eyebrow and looked out the back door, smiling some as you watched the two most important men in your life playing with plastic swords. 

Henry struck a ‘blow’ to Harry’s chest, to which Harry pretended to grip at the wound. “Oh no! Ye got me! I’m dying! Tell me girl I love her!” Harry said, causing his voice to fade as he hit the ground and pretending to die, opening one eye when you started to laugh. 

“I leave for one hour and you’re already killing each other?” You laughed, and Henry grinned as he ran over to you.

“Mommy mommy!” Henry yelled, smiling and hugging your neck when you picked him up. “Daddy got me a hook and taught me to sword fight!” Henry yelled. 

“Henry! I said that the hook was a secret.” Harry said as he got off the floor. 

“I’m not good at keeping secrets from mommy,” Henry explained, laying his head on your shoulder, to which you laughed and smoothed his dark brown hair. 

“As long as you don’t hurt anyone, I don’t mind you having a hook.” You assured them both, smiling and looking at Harry. You really did have a perfect family. 

I’ve come to the conclusion that all culinary traditions can be divided into two broad groups:

1. Salt is a seasoning, right?

2. Unless you’re using at least 22 different spices, one of which can only be harvested with a consecrated silver knife during the dark of the moon on the Isle of Lost Souls, you might as well be eating garbage.

There is no middle ground.