the lord of the rings: all films

Impulse bought The Silmarillion and Unfinished Tales today on my phone on the way to work. I have a beat up old copy of the former somewhere but I’m more likely to read it while traveling. Also impulse bought the Hobbit Trilogy films during my lunch break. I already have The Hobbit book and The Lord of the Rings trilogy books and films, so I think I’m all set now haha.

In all honesty I wasn’t going to buy The Hobbit films because I didn’t think they were as good as LOTR and some of the casting choices I’m not really keen on, but then I remembered Thranduil exists so I changed my mind \o/

Things I think about at 2:35am apparently -

The original High School Musical is the most consistent in terms of plot, characters, and story structure.

High School Musical 2 is the most fun to watch with the best overall soundtrack (even if its existence adds nothing to the overall trilogy).

High School Musical 3 is the most polished with the best production design and the best choreography of the trilogy thanks to a better budget.

All 3 films have their strengths and weaknesses, and honestly??? What an iconic trilogy???? Also, all 3 films pass the Bechdel test and have a diverse cast. Lord of the Rings who?????

Have you ever thought about how in the Fellowship of the Ring...

In the film’s prologue, Galadriel narrates the forging of the Great Rings. But there’s a really cool hidden message in how the shots are set up…

The shots of the elves only show them looking at their rings, nothing else…

The shots of the dwarves only show them looking at their rings, nothing else…


But when we get to the nine rings given to men “who above all else desire power”….the men don’t look at their rings. They look straight into the camera.

 

And while other shots are composed to make you look at the magic rings,  everything in this shot is designed to make sure you look back into the eyes of the man in the center. 

Why?


Because these men are looking at you, the audience: because you are one of them.

It’s a reminder that you are also a member of the race of men, and before you call The Nine weak-willed and evil you must remember that you are just as fallible and could be corrupted by power just as they were…that their flaws are only a dark reflection of your own flaws, and the flaws common to all of mankind


iconic parts of lord of the rings that sadly didn’t make it into the films:
  • Frodo and Sam getting into a fight about rope
  • Gandalf and Aragorn tag-team sassing a convalescent Merry about the location of his pack
  • the massive intra-Fellowship fight about how fair or unfair it is for people to be blindfolded
  • “DO AS YOU PLEASE IN YOUR MADNESS! I WISH TO SEE NO EYES!”
  • Legolas coming all the way from Mirkwood to deliver bad news and get bitched at by Glóin
  • Bilbo’s passive-aggressive notes to his annoying relatives
  • Aragorn and Éomer leaning on their swords to take a break and chat in the middle of a fight (twice)
  • Saruman appearing out of nowhere and harassing the Three Hunters like a DND random encounter
  • the disco ball/oil slick/sequin robes
  • basically every time Ioreth or the Master of the Houses of Healing says anything
  • Pippin jumping into his bath and soaking literally everyone
  • Bilbo’s song about Eärendil and Aragorn trying to gently point out that some topics of conversation are Sensitive
  • Frodo deciding that the best way to be inconspicuous is with a loud obnoxious song about when the Moon got drunk

feel free to add your own

20 Behind-The-Scenes Facts About Pirates Of The Caribbean.

1. During the filming of On Stranger Tides, Johnny Depp spent over $60,000 out of his own pocket to buy waterproof jackets for 500 crew members to protect them from the cold, wet weather. 

2. While filming in London in October 2010, Johnny Depp received a letter from a local 9-year old schoolgirl, telling him her classmates needed help to ‘mutiny’ against her teachers. He turned up with almost no warning at the school in full Sparrow outfit, but advised against mutiny. 

3. In Curse Of The Black Pearl, Johnny Depp improvised many of his lines, including the notorious, “Bring me that horizon,” and Jack Sparrow’s catch phrase, “Savvy?" 

4. Depp and Verbinski have a funny way of describing Jack running away from danger. They both compared it to a “lizard running on water.” Looking back at pirates of the caribbean, we can totally see where they’re coming from.

5. The cast and crew walked away from filming with tons of “treasure.” When production wrapped, many of the people who worked on the film (including Johnny Depp) picked props out from the treasure cave to take home. According to Verbinski, not a single one of the cursed coins was left behind.

6. Geoffrey Rush was afraid that people wouldn’t notice him on screen when he and Keira Knightley were in the same scene. He came up with a solution, however. He thought that viewers watched films the same way they read books - from left to right - and thus, tried to be on the left side of the shot as much as possible so that people would notice him before they noticed Keira. 

7. Robert De Niro was originally offered the role of Captain Jack Sparrow. However, he turned down the role because he thought that the film would do poorly in box offices. 

8. Keira Knightley was only 17 years old when they started shooting the first Pirates Of The Caribbean. Because she was a minor, her mother had to accompany her to all of the shooting locations. 

9. Johnny Depp’s character, Captain Jack, is portrayed as having gold teeth in the film. The gold teeth were actually Depp’s idea, but he predicted that executives would want fewer gold teeth than he wanted. So Depp told his dentist to implant extra gold teeth as a bargaining tool. After negotiations with the film executives, Sparrow’s final number of gold teeth in the film was what Depp had envisioned all along. 

10. If you pay attention throughout The Curse Of The Black Pearl, there is a scab on Jack Sparrow’s chin that gradually gets bigger and bigger. Many thought that it was a mistake, but Depp revealed later that his was a prank he and his makeup artist had thought of together. 

11. Clothing and smears of charcoal were used to conceal Johnny Depp’s numerous tattoos. The "Jack Sparrow” tattoo on his arm in the movie is a fake, but he actually got a real replica after finishing the film, in honor of his son Jack. 

12. Originally, Johnny Depp wanted Jack Sparrow to have no nose and be afraid of silly things like pepper and the common cold. Disney rejected the idea.

 13. Jack Sparrow is known for his outrageous face makeup, but he didn’t start with that look. While filming in a cave, excessive makeup was added to all of the characters so they wouldn’t looked washed out on film. When the crew realised how cool the makeup looked on Johnny Depp, they continued to use it on him for the rest of the movie. 

14. The moment when Elizabeth kissed Jack Sparrow in Dead Man’s Chest was purposefully cut out of Orlando Bloom’s script so that the cameras could get a genuine, shocked reaction from him. 

15. The fourth installation, On Stranger Tides, was the most expensive film ever made at the time, not adjusted for inflation. The budget ran to $300,000,000. That’s more than the budget of all three Lord Of The Rings films combined.

16. Johnny Depp based his performance on Keith Richards because he thought that pirates were just 18th century versions of rockstars. 

17. The names of the three main characters are all related to birds: Jack Sparrow, Elizabeth Swann, and William Turner, who was a famous ornithologist. 

18. The scene where Orlando Bloom impersonates Johnny Depp’s performance was devised by Bloom who asked producer Jerry Bruckheimer if he could put it into the movie. 

19. According to the screenwriters’ commentary on the DVD, Will Turner is actually the best swordsman in the film, Barbossa and Commodore Norrington are evenly matched, and Jack Sparrow is the worst. 

20. During filming of On Stranger Tides in London a 'Jack Sparrow’ impersonator just walked onto the set. The guards did not think to ask for any ID as he looked so much like the character. 

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It’s been 10 years since we first started taking the Hobbits to Isengard. I mean, it’s been way longer - the Hobbits could have fucking walked there, back again, managed to get served several times at the downstairs bar in Doggett’s and got a Southeastern train service all the way to Charing Cross since Tolkien put pen to page. But (and believe me, this is deeply unusual for me) let’s put J R R aside in this.

Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy is kind of… well, both too faithful (total lack of critical interrogation of Tolkien’s absolutely awful concepts around race, gender, etc.) and not faithful enough in that it appeared to miss all the points your correspondent’s teenage self managed to find in the series. Specifically, where Lord of the Rings is an obsessively detailed but ultimately quite modest and traumatised epic, a huge amount of which is two small, starving creatures crawling around in mud having moral dilemmas. The Jackson films take themselves as seriously and grandly as the books came to be and as I suspect their author probably never did.

Taking the Hobbits to Isengard, on the other hand, is a pure and perfect work and I will hear no ill spoken of it else ye never receive a pint in a round bought by me again. 

It takes as its base the Hovis-theme-ripping-off music from The Shire - the small-worlded part of the films, before any grandeur is truly injected into the bloated beastie that is the trilogy. The Hobbiton theme is supposed to be homely, reassuring, quaint - like anything that succeeds at that, it sounds fucking amazing played on an airhorn.

The simplicity of the Shire’s theme is what allows it to so naturally accept the kitchen-sink style auditory ornamentation that is ‘a donk’. A classic staple of rave, it needs no introduction even in a world as apparently dislocated from two WKDs and a honk on some poppers as the miruvor-quaffing pipeweed fiends we see here.

As a lyrical piece, Taking The Hobbits is discursive - like many of the very best pieces of pop. One only has to consider the sweet, sweet tension of Fleetwood Mac’s The Chain or Brandy and Monica’s iconic The Boy Is Mine to recognise that dialogous pop is, when it works, a particularly sublime genre.

It doesn’t matter that the lines are, ostensibly, orphaned from their original place in the script - from the eponymous ejaculation to Gollum’s hissed What did u say??? they’re all perfectly addressing each other in the sort of gloriously confused cacophony usually reserved for a misunderstanding-based brawl outside a kebab shop at 3am. 

I remember the first time I heard Taking The Hobbits To Isengard. It was quite a momentous occasion because I still had dial up, so it took roughly the length of a decent pop song to load and it was very difficult to tell if it was deliberate or a bandwidth-related glitch remix for at least 30 torturously disrupted seconds. I’d imagined it would be a fairly quick joke - most internet video based things were, at the time, but no; a fully fledged song. That just kept going. 

The initial air horns! These are funny, yes because we remember them as the Shire theme, which isn’t even the music for this bit. The stuttering sample of the original line! Which sustains itself as Sheffield Dave-style shout out far better than it should, given it’s old seriousface Elf ears himself yelling off a horse. 

(In retrospect, should have equated that with Sheffield Dave earlier)

Then there’s …polka bit. Few pop songs manage to maintain a polka interlude - Bohemian Rhapsody springs to mind but Taking the Hobbits To Isengard manages to repeatedly insert it without losing coherency around its original rave premise. If you don’t think ‘Tell me where is Gandalf, for I much desire to speak with him’ delivered over a little eurodance handbag bit is not both extremely funny and excellent pop, I can’t help you. 

Taking The Hobbits To Isengard would score reasonably at Eurovision. Not because Eurovision is actually the home of comedy trash but because if France (and it would probably have to be France in order for the Elven analogues to take themselves seriously enough) scooted in on an artpop platform and wanged loads of fucking airhorns round the stadium it would be entirely in keeping with European sensibilities of solemnly considering the totally whimsical due to our inherent reservedness about experiencing joy.

(The slightly older and wiser part of me has to question the repeated use of Gollum’s ‘stupid, fat, Hobbits’ which makes sense in the context of what he is but isn’t inherently funny, unlike a context-dislocated, bass-intoned ‘A Balrog of Morgoth’)

The great thing about Taking The Hobbits To Isengard is it actually gets funnier the more it goes on. Like Star Trekkin it not only sets out to commit to a fairly one-note premise but to hammer that note until it falls out through the piano and becomes a transcendent free agent, cascading through the strings. 

It takes a premise; that the Lord of the Rings films, in their overblown format, are very, very silly and runs with it extremely, deadly seriously. This is the core of not all but a fairly substantial chunk of really good pop, as well as an excellent manual for life. All things are here - a manic sense of imminent implosion, troubling past associated with racist ideologies, handcarts, hell, what did u say???

Very seriously; Taking The Hobbits To Isengard is a superb piece of fan work and it has substantially enriched my life to listen to it on loop for the past 45 minutes whilst watching a parliamentary debate on mute. Creators of this piece: thank.

THE 5 LEVELS OF THE TOLKIEN FANDOM

Level 1) Low Danger - Casual Movie Goer

- watched the films once, maybe twice

- Understands basic plot

- Knows the titles of the movies

- Knows what an elf is

- Can identify 10+ characters

- Is willing to learn more, but gets turned off by Levels 3+

Level 2) Moderate Danger - Generic Fan

- watched the movies several times

- Probably read the Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings once

- Knows the plot and some lore

- Will gladly engage in conversation regarding Tolkien

- Has a favourite character

- Can identify 6+ middle-earth locations

Level 3) Considerable Danger - Hardcore Movie Fan

- has, or wants to do cosplay of movie characters

- Hasn’t even thought about reading the books but knows everything about films

- Met, or wants to meet actors

- Can reenact any movie scene on the spot

- Has watched Ralph Bakshi’s version and dissed it

- Owns merchandise

Level 4) High Danger - Book Expert

- read the hobbit and the lord of the rings books many times

- Can quote several pages of text

- Can and will educate you on Tolkien

- Has a “Top 10 Lord of the Rings Characters” list stored on their phone

- Disliked the Hobbit films

- Has a map of middle-earth hung up in their room

- Prefers books to films

Level 5) Very High Danger - Tolkien God

- oof

- read every Tolkien book in existence pretty much.

- the Silmarillion is their bible

- Knows all, is definitely an intellectual

- Probably depressed

- Not a single reference to any Peter Jackson movie. What are movies?

- Don’t ask them a middle-Earth related question… I’m warning you now

- Evolved from previous levels, superior humanoid.

- Death.

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 from the 1980 animated Lord of the Rings musical (this exists. )

The ultimate epic climax in Mount Doom. Frodo claims the Ring for his own (the potato-faced person is Samwise the frog is golllum) 

take notes peter jackson…. this is REAL filmmaking…

Here are the lyrics so you can sing along:

Frodo of the nine fingers
And the Ring of Doom!
WHY DOES HE HAVE NINE FINGERS??
WHERE IS THE RING OF DOOM??

9

middle earth aesthetics → the shire

the land was rich and kindly, and though it had been long deserted when they entered it, it had before been well tilled, and there the king had once had many farms, cornlands, vineyards, and woods.  forty leagues it stretched from the far downs to the brandywine bridge, and fifty from the northern moor to the marshes in the south.  the hobbits named it the shire, as the region of the authority of their thain, and there in that pleasant corner of the world they plied their well-ordered business of living, and they heeded less and less the world outside where dark things moved, until they came to think that peace and plenty were the rule in middle-earth and the right of all sensible folk.

10

Hobbit/LotR Ask Meme: Elizabethswnn, Jezunya and Anonymous asked 11. Where would you live in Middle-earth? 

The Shire was divided into four quarters, the Farthings already referred to. North, South, East, and West; and these again each into a number of folklands, which still bore the names of some of the old leading families, although by the time of this history these names were no longer found only in their proper folklands. Nearly all Tooks still lived in the Tookland, but that was not true of many other families, such as the Bagginses or the Boffins. Outside the Farthings were the East and West Marches: the Buckland and the Westmarch added to the Shire in S.R. 1462.“ 

"The Shire at this time had hardly any ‘government’. Families for the most part managed their own affairs. Growing food and eating it occupied most of their time. In other matters they were, as a rule, generous and not greedy, but contented and moderate, so that estates, farms, workshops, and small trades tended to remain unchanged for generations.”

Ok but Pippin was a child. 

 The book says that Pippin is the only one of the four hobbits who hasn’t “come of age.” He was a young and immature teenager-in-Hobbit-years who (in the beginning of the story) thought and acted like a young and immature teenager. 

They didn’t have time for this in the films, but book-Elrond initially refused to let Pippin join the Fellowship. He was like “these Hobbits are fine, but I draw the line at this one. He’s too young.” 

Why does he let him join? Because Elrond thought that if Pippin had understood his decision, he would have joined anyway. If Pippin were mature enough to know what he was doing, he would’ve made the same choice. But he wasn’t. 

So it kinda bothers me when other members of the fellowship mock Pippin for being a fool? (side eyes Gandalf). Of course he’s a fool– he wasn’t mature enough for this journey and you all knew it.

All the hobbits went through hell, but Pippin wasn’t even an adult when he was thrown into war and death and survivor’s guilt and blaming himself for Boromir’s death and all that other insane trauma….

Out of all the Pokemon movies the Hoenn Saga was the best one hands down. You can not go wrong with any of those movies, let me explain

Jirachi Wishmaker: Amazing. 10/10. I cry like a bitch every time at the end. There’s a sweet carnival. Team Rocket dresses up as clowns. Max wishes for endless candy. Absol’s there? Wicked. And who doesn’t love that cute little starboy Jirachi I mean come on. Wish wish motherfucker

Destiny Deoxys: Fantastic. 11/10. That whole backstory with Tory? Tugs at the heartstrings real good. He and Ash are such great buds. There’s a super high tech city, it’s so freaking cool. And that badass fight between angry space snake and comet robot is great

Lucario and the Mystery of Mew: PHENOMENAL. 20/10. THE LORE. THE EMOTIONAL BONDING. THE MEDIEVAL SETTING. THE AURA. WHAT MORE COULD YOU EVER WANT FROM A FILM. IT’S LIKE A LORD OF THE RINGS/STAR WARS CROSSOVER. AND WE ALL KNOW EVERYBODY LOVES LUCARIO

Temple of the Sea: Beautiful. 12/10. Sea Temple? Fuck yeah. Manaphy? FUCK YEAH. And Jackie? Love that dude. Ocean cruises are fun to watch. Ash becomes the goddamn King of the Sea. (He drowns right before that but whatever don’t sweat the details.) There’s pirates in it. What a wild ride

Literally none of the other movie sagas can compare to the epicness of the Hoenn movies it’s the truth

Nobody’s going to deny that, as it’s conventionally depicted, Middle-Earth - the setting of The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings - is awfully monochrome. In art, basically everybody is drawn as white, and all major depictions in film have used white actors.

When this state of affairs is questioned, the defences typically revolve around “accuracy”, which can mean one of two things: fidelity to the source material, and the internal consistency of the setting. Being concerned primarily with languages and mythology, Tolkien left few clear descriptions of what the peoples of Middle-Earth actually look like, so in this case, arguments in favour of the status quo more often rest on setting consistency.

Of course, we need hold ourselves neither to fidelity nor to consistency - the author’s dead, and we can do what we want. However, what if I told you that there’s a reasonable argument to be made from that very standpoint of setting consistency that Aragorn - the one character you’d most expect to be depicted as a white dude - really ought to be portrayed as Middle Eastern and/or North African?

First, consider the framing device of Tolkien’s work. The central conceit of The Lord of the Rings - one retroactively extended to The Hobbit, and thereafter to later works - is that Tolkien himself is not the story’s author, but a mere translator of writings left behind by Bilbo, Frodo and other major characters. Similarly, Middle-Earth itself is positioned not as a fictional realm, but as the actual prehistory of our own world. As such, the languages and mythologies that Tolkien created were intended not merely to resemble their modern counterparts, but to stand as plausible ancestors for them.

Now, Aragorn is the king of a tribe or nation of people called the Dúnedain. Let’s take a closer look at them in the context of that prehistoric connection.

If the Dúnedain were meant to be the forebears of Western Europeans, we’d expect their language, Adûnaic, to exhibit signs of Germanic (or possibly Italic) derivation - but that’s not what we actually see. Instead, both the phonology and the general word-structure of Adûnaic seem to be of primarily Semitic derivation, i.e., the predominant language family throughout the Middle East and much of North Africa. Indeed, while relatively little Adûnaic vocabulary is present in Tolkien’s extant writings, some of the words we do know seem to be borrowed directly from classical Hebrew - a curious choice if the “men of the West” were intended to represent the ancestors of the Germanic peoples.

Additionally, the Dúnedain are descended from the survivors of the lost island of Númenor, which Tolkien had intended as an explicit analogue of Atlantis. Alone, this doesn’t give us much to go on - unless one happens to know that, in the legendarium from which Tolkien drew his inspirations, the Kingdoms of Egypt were alleged to be remnant colonies of Atlantis. This connection is explicitly reflected in the strong Egyptian influence upon Tolkien’s descriptions of Númenorean funereal customs. We thus have both linguistic and cultural/mythological ties linking the survivors of Númenor to North Africa.

Now, I’m not going to claim that Tolkien actually envisioned the Dúnedain as North African; he was almost certainly picturing white folks. However, when modern fans argue that Aragorn and his kin must be depicted as white as a matter of setting consistency, rather than one of mere authorial preference, strong arguments can be made that this need not be the case; i.e., that depicting the Dúnedain in a manner that would be racialised as Middle Eastern and/or North African by modern standards is, in fact, entirely consistent with the source material, ethnolinguistically speaking. Furthermore, whether they agreed with these arguments or not, any serious Tolkien scholar would at least be aware of them.

In other words, if some dude claims that obviously everyone in Tolkien is white and acts like the very notion of depicting them otherwise is some outlandish novelty, you’ve got yourself a fake geek boy.

(As an aside, if we turn our consideration to the Easterlings, the human allies of Sauron who have traditionally been depicted in art as Middle Eastern on no stronger evidence than the fact that they’re baddies from the East, a similar process of analysis suggests that they’d more reasonably be racialised as Slavic in modern terms. Taken together with the preceding discussion, an argument can be made that not only is the conventional racialisation of Tolkien’s human nations in contemporary art unsupported by the source material, we may well have it precisely backwards!)

mbti as popular movie franchises
  • intj: The Matrix Trilogy
  • entj: James Bond
  • intp: Star Wars
  • entp: Star Trek
  • infj: The Lord of the Rings + the Hobbit
  • enfj: Disney Pixar Films
  • infp: The Chronicles of Narnia
  • enfp: Shrek
  • istj: Indiana Jones
  • estj: Jurrasic Park
  • isfj: Harry Potter
  • esfj: Back to the Future
  • istp: Mission Impossible
  • estp: The Fast and Furious
  • isfp: Marvel Cinematic Universe
  • esfp: Pirates of the Caribbean

My 3,500 noble followers, I have an announcement…

I’m going to have a Lord of the Rings marathon tomorrow

i’m mentally preparing myself. ritualistically setting up my room in anticipation. hysterical meta will probably be posted in the near future. wish me luck

Originally posted by the-night-wanderer