If I look back, I am doomed, Dany told herself… but how could she not look back? I should have seen it coming. Was I so blind, or did I close my eyes willfully, so I would not have to see the price of power?
“Visible darkness” is a part of my “Blue” trilogy. The title’s inspired by Derek Jarman’s “Blue is darkness made visible”, which also implies the fear of losing sight I had twice before. Blue as glimmers converging into rivers through time, exists largely in this series of photographs mostly taken at night, and still carries the well-known metaphors of melancholy and freedom.
I chose those situations with uncertainties, which are easily connected to fantasy space, The sea may lead directly to the starry sky, and the sky might fall apart instantly. Some small elements from modern art were added to several images according to logics of dream. The way they were put seems untimely, but the moon today also shone on ancient people, while even the moon and stars we see at this moment are not how they look like now neither. Now isn’t simply now. Those lights that were doomed not to arrive, bring some brightness and secret pleasure to current darkness.
Follow the Source Link for image sources and more information.
If there was one thing you were certain of, it was that the purpose or your existence was to love Kim Taehyung, and his was to love you. Throughout countless lifetimes the two of you have longed for each other, but just like parallel lines, though your souls always seemed to be travelling in the same direction, it was impossible that they could ever meet and become one.
Author’s Note: This was inspired by the Fallen series which I read when I was like 12 lmao
You were no longer sure who, or where, you had been the very first time you laid your eyes on Kim Taehyung.
So many lifetimes blurred together into one, your existence was so scattered throughout time you had begun to lose track of it. But in each life, no matter who you were, regardless of whether you lived a life of luxury or one of extreme poverty, he was always there. Your existences were irreversibly intertwined.
You didn’t know why. You didn’t know how. You had no clue if there were others in the world who lived through multiple existences, or if any of them remembered each individual life the way you did. In no life had you ever dared ask, for fear of sounding crazy or being whisked away to the closest asylum.
In some lives you were close to him. In a few, you even grew up as childhood friends. You remembered those lives more clearly than most. One in particular that you remembered with a shocking clarity was England in the 1600s. Your family lived on and ran a small farm out in a tiny rural village. It had been a tough life, getting up at the brink of dawn every morning and not returning from the fields until the sun finally dropped behind the earth, but the hard work paid off and there was always a sufficient amount of food. You could still feel the wonderful sensation of the cool, crisp early morning air against your skin, even now.
Taehyung’s family had owned a bakery and every morning, just as you set out to work the fields, his mother would send him round to deliver bread in exchange for milk.
Even from a young age, you’d felt the pull towards him, that feeling which was now so painfully familiar. He was like a magnet, he could only be resisted for so long before you had no choice but to give in.
For some reason, you’d thought in that life that perhaps things would be different, perhaps it wouldn’t end in the same fashion that all the others had. You were no longer sure what had caused you to think this, maybe getting to spend so long by his side had lured you into a false sense of safeness. You weren’t as foolish now as you had been then. You’d learnt the hard way that there were never any exceptions.
You still dreamt about that life sometimes. You dreamt about the way the long honey coloured strands of wheat matched his eyes and the sound of his laughter getting caught between trees in the nearby forest as you played together. But more vividly, you were haunted by the shy, gentle first touch of your lips to his, you were tormented by that fleeting moment of happiness that had existed just before everything crumbled away to dust.
In other lives, however, Kim Taehyung was painfully out of reach. One of you would be of a much higher status than the other, meaning any attraction you felt was forbidden. You could recall a few lives where you ended up being born into a wealthy family and Taehyung had been employed by your family in some way. He had once been a gardener, and another time a cook, and you were fairly sure he had also been a stable boy at some point. But you hated those lives the most. Any interaction with him was dialled down to a minimum and it made your chest ache awfully. Those lives were made of nothing but longing glances and sad smiles.
Kim Taehyung never seemed to remember you. Unlike you, he seemed blissfully unaware of the fact that he had lived hundreds of times before, and that you had been present in each and every one of those existences.
Needless to say, it was heartbreaking to look into the eyes of the man you’d loved for centuries and for him to have absolutely no clue who you were. But it was even more heartbreaking to watch as he fell hopelessly in love with you. The dreadful cycle was doomed to repeat over and over, possibly for eternity.
Because the two of you could never be together.
In every life, without fail, the first kiss with Kim Taehyung was also always the last. You’d spent so many days and nights in complete anguish, wondering why the two of you had been cursed with such a cruel fate.
Because after every first kiss with Kim Taehyung, your body would burst into flames.