the longer i look at this the more awful it gets

Please, never smoke. Never even start smoking, if you are lucky enough to possess a pair of untouched, perfectly pink lungs.

It plagues you. When you’re a smoker, being outside isn’t enjoying nature; it’s an opportunity to smoke. Driving isn’t an escape; it’s getting in your car and always traveling to the same destination: reaching for your pack. It’s a social crutch and a motivational handicap.

And once you quit, it doesn’t go away. I’ve been almost completely smoke free for five years now, one year longer than I was a smoker, and I still crave a cigarette. Every day, I still crave a cigarette.

You only look cool smoking in your early 20s. After that, everyone judges you for not quitting once you graduated college. I’m serious, don’t romanticize this harmful habit; it’s unhealthy, and dangerous, and easy to avoid.

More about tipping points/hitting the wall

Some of you might have read my post about ADHD “tipping points,” a situation where a person who was functioning fairly well goes through a change in environment, expectations, or support systems where they can no longer cope, and become extremely disabled. They look and feel like they’re falling apart, and they may get diagnosed for the first time.

Someone mentioned that this phenomenon sounds an awful lot like autistic burnout. I agree, to some extent. However, I think it’s possible to reach a tipping point without burning out entirely (though probably not vice versa). Why?

I’ve actually had two tipping points in my life. One in college, where I sought out and got a diagnosis, and I did not burn out. And one during graduate school, where I did.

So, what was different about college? 

It wasn’t use of formal disability accommodations. Ironically, in college, I did not seek out or receive any accommodations from my school, or even register with the disability office. In grad school, I did register with the disability office and got accommodations for some assistive technology and executive function coaching.

More frequent breaks. My college was on the quarter system. I routinely burned out by the eighth week (luckily my finals were papers which were due early), and spent the end of the quarter and the week or two of breaks in between recovering. By the beginning of the next quarter I had my enthusiasm and mental functioning back. My graduate school was on the semester system, which tests one’s endurance a lot more. Also, graduate students are expected to work on breaks, so I never got a chance to fully recuperate between semesters.

Ability to subtract things from my life. I was involved in a number of clubs and dorm activities my freshman year, including an orchestra and a small student music group. I gradually cut back, until I was involved in no organized activities and my socializing consisted of informal hanging out with friends during mealtimes and in the afternoons and evenings after class. I finally gave up (and made peace with giving up) playing an instrument midway through college, along with drawing and fiction writing, which I had loved. In graduate school, there was very little to cut. I needed to take care of myself and spend time with my partner. I cut back on blogging, social media, volunteering with a local disability organization, and a class I had yearned to sit in on concerning the philosophy of psychiatry (I regret all those choices). It still wasn’t enough, and it made me feel out of touch with the reasons I’d pursued studying neuroscience in the first place.

Limited self-care tasks. In college, I deliberately arranged my life so that I would not have to struggle with self-care, which was time-consuming and exhausting for me at the time. I lived on campus in a dorm (where cleaning staff cleaned the bathrooms and cooking areas), ate mostly in the dining hall, and thus had limited cooking, cleaning, and grocery shopping. In graduate school, my partner and I shared an apartment and cooking, cleaning, and shopping duties. To be close to campus and downtown, we lived about a mile walk from the grocery store, so just buying groceries was an ordeal.

Support outside of school. In college, living near home and with parental support, I was lucky enough to try occupational therapy (OT), therapy for my anxiety and depression, and medication. In grad school, I was cut off from my previous support network and had to build a new one. I did find a therapist and a prescriber after a while, but it took a long time and some false starts. I tried executive function coaching, but I really needed something more intensive than I got. The free executive coaching through disability services wasn’t helpful, and some of the suggestions were even counterproductive (e.g., switching certain sorts of lists and planning from paper to digital to be more “efficient”, or testing out unhelpful organizational software I had to pay for).

My overall environment. I loved my college. I loved my few close friends, I enjoyed the culture of the student body in general, I loved my teachers and my classes. My senses and emotions were nourished by the physical campus, and the town around the campus was the perfect size with the right amount of things to do, and the ideal balance between “real world” and “college bubble.” My graduate school was in a place that I, frankly, hated. I hated the undergraduate culture there, too, and because the town was dominated by undergraduates during the school year, I hated what they turned the place into. I loved my lab and adviser, and I enjoyed my classes, my teachers, my peers, and my department, but I didn’t feel like I fit in. My entering class never gelled as a unit; there were a lot of cliques, and I didn’t belong to them. I tried to make friends by starting a writing group but it didn’t last when I had to cut activities to stay afloat. My labmates were friendly to me and would respond when I talked to them, but they never sought me out to socialize either inside or outside the lab. My partner hated living there and was angry I had chosen to go there, and was even more isolated than I was. He had no one but me there, so I needed to spend a lot of time and energy on him and repairing our relationship that I didn’t always have. In academia, you go where the jobs are, no matter how heinous the town or the university/department culture. I had thought it didn’t matter to me where I lived since I didn’t go out much. The experience taught me that my physical and broader social environment make a huge difference–and therefore that I should rethink academia.

I suspect that I came close to burning out in college many times, but because of the college environment itself and the coping strategies and support networks I chose, I always brought myself back from the brink. Thus, I ended up with a tipping point that did not end in burn-out. My graduate-school tipping point ended in burnout and in a lot of ways, resembles autistic burnout. About a year after my burnout began, I am still recovering.


TL;DR? Here are some conclusions:

1) You can have more than one tipping point in your life. They can be more or less severe.

2) You can have a tipping point without burning out. You probably can’t burn out without having a tipping point.

3) Just like your environment and coping strategies determine whether you hit a tipping point, they also make a difference in whether you burn out.

4) Being diagnosed, developing coping strategies, and using services doesn’t prevent you from having tipping points again later.


Has anyone else had tipping points without burnouts, or multiple tipping points of different severity?

10/28/16

“Twelve thousand kids per year get cancer in the United States. But the extraordinary thing isn’t that cancer happens. The extraordinary thing is that cancer doesn’t happen more often. Every human life begins with a single cell. Trillions of cells will form from that single cell. During this process, the DNA will rearrange itself hundreds of times to form all different types of cells: muscle, nerve, bone, blood, connective tissue. If you look at these cells under a microscope, each one has special properties. They all have codes that tell them exactly what to do and exactly when to stop doing it. The complexity of this is extraordinary. There are numerous fail-safes at every level to prevent mistakes. How is it possible that it ever works correctly? There are trillions of chances for something to go wrong. God, it’s unbelievable. The longer I study cancer, the more I’m in awe of the healthy child.”



Thanks to the 27,000 people who donated, last night we reached our goal of $1,000,000 to help Dr. O’Reilly and his team at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center fight pediatric cancer. (A special thanks to the anonymous $14,000 donor who put us over the top in dramatic fashion.) We’ll try to add to that total in the remaining few days to make the largest impact possible. Thanks to everyone who’s engaged with this series. I have received so many notes from the patients and doctors interviewed. They have been so moved and encouraged by your comments. I assure you that every single comment is being read. I know that many of the patient stories have been extremely difficult to read, so thanks to all of you who have helped bear the weight of these stories. Cancer is extremely isolating and there is great value in every type of human connection. So thank you. Anyone still wishing to contribute to our fundraiser can do so here: http://bit.ly/1TpFcdy

ok so tumblr user @laurentshair  brought back this deadly commentary from pacat way back when and its: Damen would have been the perfect lover for a younger Laurent. That shy, hero worshipping boy who trailed around after his older brother. But that Laurent no longer exists. i love laurent as he is now but let me indulge in some more auguste-is-alive headcanons

  • laurent, a shy hero worshipping boy, would have gravitated towards damen. strong, dependable, and charming damen
  • he would have given him shy glances. he would’ve been in awe every time he watched damen and auguste spar
  • his eyes would’ve brightened in wonder after realizing that damen wasn’t just about his looks and strength
  • DAMEN HAD LED ARMIES INTO WAR AT THE AGE OF 19. AND WON THEM. he has a mind for strategy!!! and once laurent realized that, there was nothing stopping him from being so enamored with him
  • auguste and damen would of course, try to get laurent to join in on their plans and at first laurent would be too timid, too shy of this strange akielon prince too good to be true
  • but as the years past with damen visiting as much as his princely duties allowed him, laurent would get used to him and with the help of both his older brother and damen he learns to speak his mind
  • one time laurent had sat under a tree outlining these ridiculous plans about ways to sneak out of the palace with snow (snow being his first ever pony. snow had a coat that was pure white and he was beautiful and laurent loved him dearly) (maybe he could use the pathway leading to the gardens? - no. snow was getting awfully big and-) 
  • he was so engrossed in his thoughts that he didnt see damen approaching nor did he feel damen place himself beside him until he heard ‘whats on your mind laurent?’ just a few inches away from him
  • he would startle at damens voice because he had not expected him to be visiting so soon and flush immediately at being caught off guard and reply 'you wouldn’t find it interesting.' 
  • but damen just gives him this beaming smile and says 'i wonder about that. why dont you try me?’
  • and so he tells him about wanting to visit the town with snow and wanting to just explore 
  • 'but wouldnt your people recognize their prince?’ and then its laurents turn to smile wickedly, although subconsciously 
  • 'disguises of course.’ damen sees the uninhibited smile on laurents face and he knows he has to come along

flight-of-the-thieving-magpie  asked:

✩ (their relationship will never be this thorough but just for funsies, also I wanna reblog it from you so it's only right I drop one in)

(You’re back! Hope travelling was fun, missed seeing you on my dash. Yeah, just consider the following a weird domestic AU. I’m not all about that reblog karma stuff though, literally reblog whatever I’m cool with it <3 Under the cut because it’s longggggg!)

Send ‘✩’ for the following:

Keep reading

Attack On Titan Chapter 84 Thoughts

i said I was okay with anything as long it had something meaningful to say - which I felt was missing from last chapter. I’m okay with Armin’s survival because of the execution. The tl; dr version is that I thought this chapter was just fine. Not amazing or awful, just fine. (Might be partially because I also expected Erwin to die eventually and he or Bert aren’t really what keep me reading - in fact I don’t think any individual character does, I just look at character behaviour and meaning in their deaths and if it makes sense I’m pretty much down with all characters and how they’re handled.)

So lets get right to it.

Erwin has no aim anymore and because of that can’t lead for much more longer.

That’s all there’s to it to Levi’s choice, no “love”, no mercy killing. He certainly cares about Erwin, but this interpertation is not fitting from a purely pragmatic and selfless standpoint Levi is coming from because in the end his choice does take away Erwin’s “chance” to see his personal dream accomplished - Levi was rather debating whether Erwin getting his dream was worth it in the long run for humanity.

(This is the one part Eren is supposed to be right about, even if he was just blindly defending Armin. The chapter paints Erwin’s revival as bringing back someone who no longer has much of a drive to fight, someone dead inside - you can disagree about that or whether Erwin still actually had the will to fight, but I think that’s what it is.)

A leader and member of a team who basically gave up his dream cannot lead and fight for much longer from a purely pragmatic standpoint, either - seems the story places the importance of a character’s emotional state over their skillset in this chapter. This doesn’t mean Erwin deserved to die. This means he sadly just does not FIT into the leader position for probably much longer because the SL would lose their way forward and that’s just as bad - it’s Hanji’s time to take over (NOT Armin’s, either, but a little bit more on that later).

This is what I think is the intention here. This is the same situation as with Keith: he simply does not fit into the role of the Survey Corps commader anymore because he’s not driven anymore. Erwin’s role as a “devil” is what destroyed him emotionally. He put aside his dream before the charge because he could no longer take the pressure of all the horrible choices he was forced to make - which sent so many people to their deaths (hence the “Can’t you just let him rest?” and the following speech, though “Can’t you forgive him?” which is apparently in the Japanese RAW fits much better here considering Erwin wishing to die with the recruits), but someone like that would potentially die very quickly. While sacrifices probably have to be made, it wears a person down. I don’t know about you guys, but this is incredibly sad to me and again, I think it’s supposed to be. It’s incredibly sad that in the end the world defeated Erwin as a person and if it weren’t for the fierce speech about him going to give his life for those coming after him and how this chapter recontextualizes it (those two pages I added above is what make it for me), I would absolutely not be defending this chapter. It’s a intentionally tragic end.

So it’s up to those next in line to give his efforts and death meaning, as he said in his speech and it is time for Erwin to rest.

This same point could’ve been made if Levi found him right after the charge, but I think this is the main thing that makes this chapter fine to me.

Putting that aside, lets go back in the chapter a bit.

Eren’s and Mikasa’s reactions were completely in character.

Here, the devil is in the details. Eren never denies that sacrifices have to be made for the greater good, for one thing. This is something he has already learned at least to some degree, otherwise he would have not let Armin go at all. He does try his best to talk around Levi, though. He grasps at every possible reason he could to convince Levi, but in the end he doesn’t, and he is also not supposed to be all in the right here, just desparate and irrational. At this point Armin would not be actually capable of saving humanity. The other part I really liked about Eren this chapter was that it showed his growth from someone chasing revenge to someone who found his dream again. This makes his extreme defensiveness make even more sense - after what Armin pulled, no wonder he would try to defend him and his achievements (again, note how he’s not denying sacrifices have to be made). A character can be understandable without being right (or entirely right).

(Context for what I was talking about above - this is the one thing Eren’s right about. Again, this is a sad thing, not some sort of statement Erwin has to be thrown away because he’s depressed or whatever, someone who has lost his dream is incredibly tragic, as a result he’s just not someone to lead the way to the future.)

Same goes for Mikasa. She has some sense of reason here. She isn’t blind in the way she was back at Trost: she pins Levi down, but asks before she attacks and has the sense to turn her blade on the dull side to drive away Flocke. Her screaming “Shut up!” to Flocke and actually turning to him shows that not only is she not in the right mind, but some of her expressions show clear conflict in what she’s doing. She too is conflicted and probably actually knows she is in the wrong, but desparately tries to cling on what she has.

Ultimately, I think both, Eren and Mikasa, understand it would’ve been the better choice to let Armin go in their hearts, it’s just that Levi chooses otherwise, which is the other thing that made me happy. Levi’s decision wasn’t about just making the kids happy again, as said, it was a pragmatic one, thinking about the future of humanity as a whole.

Lets not forget Levi didn’t exactly handle this very tactfully either. He could have just pushed Eren aside or tried to explain, but he punched him in the face. This also would not probably prompted Mikasa to get violent. There was no need to get violent, what he should’ve done is reason like Hange, but violence is in-character for Levi, just like Eren and Mikasa still care for their friend despite their growth as soldiers. It would’ve been strange for them to have no reaction. The Crunchyroll translation also makes Levi sound a bunch more selfish. I think he was very much driven by a personal wish to see Erwin well at first, too.

The short version here would be that Eren and Mikasa weren’t driven by rebellion or denial of what needs to be done, but desparation and turned defensive to find any way to save their friend.

Something tells me even Eren and Mikasa themselves will be questioning Levi’s decision in the coming chapters, but also reflecting whenever they have a clearer head.

Next, there is Bertholdt.

While I understand people wanting more of a reaction from that, I think it being so blunt is part of the point.

It was painful to watch and I think it was supposed to be. It is a karmic death, but not in a way you give an actual villain, instead a horrifying parallel to Marco’s, a regular recruit’s. You’re not supposed to be completely satisfied by it - he’s gone just like that, after massive pain. It’s ugly from a purely human standpoint. In the end no one came for him and considering Levi’s strength it was a logically smart decision for Zeke to no longer chase them. It would’ve further endangered him and Reiner. Again, putting aside feelings in the greater picture of things.

What makes this even sadder is that Ymir even called Reiner and Bertholdt small fry in chapter 46 - makes me wonder, maybe Bertholdt and Reiner really are that equvivalent for the warrior village? While it was just about only 2 pages, this is a very (intentionally) cruel death.

I expect a little bit more elaboration in terms of the reactions of the 104th, but that they weren’t crying out to him at this point is again, I think understandable. Most of all because they were swept up in the moment, also just almost having lost one of their allies and strongest friends (and Bertholdt’s been confirmed an enemy for a while now), looking at the Crunchyroll version - I really think this is the case, not that they actually don’t care.

Other things: Hange, Flocke, Moblit and everyone else.

Hange and Flocke get a thumbs up for being voices of reason. What they said was completely right, but just not from an emotional standpoint. It was purely from a skill standpoint. Erwin managed to win a lot of victories and had a lot of experience, but in the end he was broken inside and they need emotionally healthy weapons just as much they need skilled ones. (Notice how I use the word weapon here, I’m not trying to say neither Erwin and Armin are not human, just what would be better from a pragmatic, purely coldly logical standpoint, and good emotional health is extremely important, especially for a Titan Shifter, but that’s just an additional detail; that’s not to say Armin or anyone else in the Corps is “heallthy”, but they still have yet to be worn down as Erwin).

Thumbs up for Moblit’s sacrifice.

I also expect a shocked reaction from Armin once he wakes up, also questioning Levi about his choice.

I like Jean’s and Connie’s expressions and words when they learn Armin has to die. For Jean it is a sad acceptance, for Connie it’s a goodbye with tears.

Thematic implications.

This was not a happy chapter. I think a big problem I see on Tumblr and many other places on the internet is that people take words at face value.

If Bertholdt says the world is cruel, the story must be exactly saying that. If Erwin talks about how cruel the world is in his speech (even AS he’s saying he’s fighting against the cruel world!), that’s all we’re supposed to be taking away from it. If Levi lets a emotionally broken person die, it must mean all broken people deserve to die and don’t deserve a second chance. Very at face value here. Something I don’t agree with, but it happens (and at times things are to be taken at face value, too) and sometimes I think I do that, too.

I’ve talked about the trio element of the story many times now. I’ve always equated Erwin and Eren, Hange and Armin and Levi and Mikasa. I think this chapter confirms this theory even further, particularly the Eren and Erwin part. Erwin is kind of a tragic version of Eren now. Defeated, worn down and broken by the world around him, wanting nothing but redemption for everything he’s shouldered - Eren even had a similar moment and very well could end up going the same direction as Erwin, if shouldered with the responsability for just about as long as him. This could happen with any of the remaining Survey Corps members, but especially Hange now that she’s next in line to inherit that burden. How long would she be able to hold out emotionally? In the end this whole chapter is about how human these characters are. They care, they break, and eventhough the world forces them to move forward in very harsh ways because of these human traits they have, most importantly they keep fighting for the future. Levi chose to let Erwin go for the sake of the future of humanity and Reiner lost Bertholdt. People talk about the possibility of especially Reiner losing it, and that’s entirely possible, but perhaps he will only be fiercer in making sure his death won’t mean nothing? The same goes for Levi and Erwin: it was something Levi chose, why would he suddenly stop functioning? Levi clearly was thinking about the future of the corps, that’s why I’m not buying the “love” and “mercy kill” interpertations.

(Them typos…)

The other part here is the significance of Armin’s transformation. He literally turned into what he fought after resolving himself to fight. He was awarded for sacrificing himself, but not quite as worn out by the world as Erwin, so he got to survive.

What will come of this? There’s been teasing about a conflict/disagreement between Eren and Armin and now it’s practically screaming to happen - it’s one of the reasons I listed to still be fine with Armin’s survival because I’m still interested in the possibilities of it. I also question him as a narrator now. He’s a shifter now - so what’s up with that? When is he telling the story? Also, the two birds flying over the wall are still open for interpertation now - they are clearly seem to be equated with Eren and Mikasa, so is that a hint for something else? The dream in chapter 1?

If there’s something I absolutely can’t fault this chapter it’s the confidence there’s in it. It’s swiftly-paced, it ties together many elements from many chapters ago and it feels whatever Isayama is heading towards, he’s very confident in it, very unlike last chapter which seemed very much like a pace-stopper. I’m looking forward to next month.

This is just my interpertation as of this chapter, don’t eat me please. I like to think we don’t have actual Titans in the Attack On Titan community.

Hinata’s Long Hair

This was prompted by this post by johannathemad.

“You’re hair got longer.” Hinata missed the strike again and fell to his feet, steady on the ground once more. He huffed heavily. He had meant to get that ball but someone had rudely interrupted him again to comment on his hair.

Nonetheless, he turned joyfully to Tanaka-senpai this time and smiled. “Yeah.” What else could he say in regards to his hair?

Hinata had not seen the way Tanaka was looking at him but he really saw it now. There was so much awe and he wasn’t smiling like he usually did but he looked taken aback like Hinata’s hair was something to be admired, possibly? His smiled slipped off his face and he shuffled his feet as Tanaka got closer to get a closer look.

“Do you want to touch it?”

Tanaka nodded before slipping a hand through it. “Wow!”

“Can I touch it!” Noya waited for Hinata’s nod before joining Tanaka’s hand.

Hinata just stood there in the middle of the court with the wing striker and the libero feeling at his hair and making weird comments like “Wonder what shampoo he uses” and “He should put bariets in it for sure” and “So soft.” The latter statement was repeated over and over.

Hinata furrowed his eyebrows, watching Suga turn and see the spectacle and laughing. His laughter was something like a bell and Hinata felt the urge to blush brightly because, yeah, this looked pretty strange: Noya and Tanaka distracting him and Hinata just taking it without any objection because Hinata was too happy and scared of the second years to do that.

“Maybe you guys should stop?” Asahi didn’t have the real gut to honestly tell them to stop.

“Is that a question or statement?” Noya’s hand was abruptly removed (to Hinata’s relief) and his hand moved to his hip. “Put some effort into it.”

While Noya was distracted by Asahi’s cowardliness, Tanaka chuckled, still shiftly his hands through orange.

Hinata didn’t know how to get rid of him. It would be rude to just tell him to-

“Hey, I kind of need all of you to stop petting Hinata so he can practice.” Kageyama’s voice was clear and slightly tinted with annoyance. Hinata looked at the way his brows furrowed and his already frowning face drooped.

Hinata detached himself from the Tanaka and smiled up at Kageyama. He surely had grown during the break.

Kageyama felt something lodged in his throat but he ignored it for the time being. “Okay,” he said hoarsely.

They practiced tossing, trying to get back into the swing of things, seeing as they had not practiced with one anything for some time.

But it felt like something was wrong.

After a few tries to get things right, Hinata paused. Something was obviously off with Kageyama. “Are you okay?” He was slightly cautious about asking Kageyama these things but it felt like they had gotten better about communication on and off the court. Plus, Kageyama didn’t look like he hated Hinata as much as he did in the beginning.

But no matter much they might process with one another, there were times like this when Kageyama wouldn’t make eye contact with him and stare bitterly at the ground.

“Kageyama?”

The boy took a glance before prompting a water break. Hinata agreed.

As they sat there drinking, Hinata noticed a piece of his hair had fallen out of place and lay in his field of vision. He tried as he might to resemble it just the way he liked it but it was stubborn.

Kageyama couldn’t help but watch. Against his better judgement, he roughly asked, “Need some help?”

“I got it,” Hinata replied offhandedly, still battling with the strands with his tongue poking out the side of his mouth. Kageyama found it kind of cute.

He brushed the hair back anyway and Hinata sat stunned. Kageyama’s fingers were soft on his forehead, gentle in a way that made Hinata think Kageyama was touching something fragile.

Kageyama withdrew his hand after lingering and cleared his throat, finally. “Come on.”

Hinata felt surprisingly brilliant.

You cheat on Sam with Jack part 2

Requested: Yes

Word Count: 1092

Story line: After having a fight with Sam, you turned to your best friend Jack and you realize you have feelings for him, as he does to you too, and things get heated.

A/N: Huge, huge, huge credit to my favorite person, Ali for writing/helping me out with this :). She wrote this a long, long time ago for me ( I’m late posting this *sad face*) but I just added more things to make it a little longer. I hope you guys enjoy! Don’t forget to leave requests!! p.s this is my first smut so please don’t judge me lol it probably sucks but a lot of people wanted a smut so :):):):):) 

Jack kept leaving sloppy kisses along your neck, gently sucking on your sweet spot. Your fingers found their way to Jack’s messy hair, gently running them through it. He put his hands under shirt, leaving them resting on your stomach. You hurriedly took off your shirt. Leaving yourself in just your bra and jeans. He looked at you in awe and gave you a quick peck on the lips. “You’re so beautiful.” You gave him a small, yet encouraging smile.

He started leaving a trail of sloppy kisses down your stomach until he reached the hem of your jeans. Looping his fingers through the holes where your belt belonged. “Can I?” He said in a low voice, and you gave him a small nod, letting him know that it was okay. He started unzipping your jeans. You slowly lifted your butt up off the couch, as he started gently taking your jeans off, along with your underwear, down your legs. Making yourself bare underneath him. 

He placed his large hands on your stomach, slowly making his way where you wanted him the most, he started spreading your thighs apart. He slowly entered one finger inside of you, causing you to let out a small moan. He began pumping faster, and his mouth collided with yours. The both of you started giving each other sloppy kisses. He kept thrusting his finger in and out and you knew that you were already about to reach your high. You had to bite your lip to keep yourself from screaming and moaning his name out. “It’s okay baby girl. I want to hear you scream my name.” Hearing those words made you lose it, and you screamed his name out. 

He stopped at just the right time, taking his finger out of you, not letting you reach your high. “Jack, what the hell.” You looked at him with fury in your eyes. He just chuckled at you. You sat up with a grin on your face, thinking of teasing him the same way.

You got up, leaving Jack sitting on the couch. Your shaky hands took off his shirt, and revealed his toned abs. You ran a finger up and down his stomach, biting your lip seductively. “Your such a tease babe.” He said, while he started biting his lip as well. You started unzipping his pants, pulling them down, including his boxers, revealing his already hard length. Your hands ran up his thighs. Wrapping your hands around him and began pumping him up and down. He let out a throaty moan, “Oh my God.” You loved seeing him like this. Knowing that you were causing him to be this weak, by just touching him like this. You placed your mouth on the tip of his length, and began swirling your tongue. Gently sucking on it as well. His eyes and head rolled back in pleasure, and he kept letting out small moans. His chest heaving up and down. This was making the feeling in your stomach grow, and you needed him right now, more than ever. You could tell that he was almost at his high, so you decided to do what he did to you, and stopped sucking. His head shot up and looked at you, the same way you looked at him when he did the same actions a few moments ago. “You’re gonna be the death of me y/n.” You gave him a small laugh.

You stood up in front of him and put either of your legs between his. He looked at your chest and back at your face. His fingers made his way behind your back, leaving them where the back of your bra met. “Sorry babe, but this gots to go.” He quickly unhooked your bra, sliding it off of you and throwing it behind you. He gently pecked each of your breasts and doing wonders to them. 

After playing with them for awhile he quickly flipped you guys so he was now hovering over you. Supporting himself with his elbows, that were beside your head. You pushed away all your thoughts of your boyfriend, Sam, to the back of your head making you forget about him, and focused on this moment right now with this beautiful boy. Jack started kissing you again, making his tongue enter your mouth immediately.

You quickly pulled away, making him confused. “You have a condom, right?” He pressed his forehead against yours and laughed. “Shit, I forgot about that, but yes I do.” He reached for his pants and took one out of his back pocket of his jeans. Hearing the packet of foil being ripped open made you really excited. You saw him roll the condom on his length and started laughing as you can tell he was very eager to hurry up. “Someone’s eager.” He looked at up at you and you winked at him. “Shut up.” He said playfully and placed his lips on yours again, making the kiss heated once again.

Jack started to enter you with no warning, and began thrusting at a very slow place. Making this moment special for the both of you. You placed your hands on his biceps. Every time you moaned his name, his thrusts got faster and faster. Your fingernails started to dig into his back and he kissed you roughly on the lips. Both of you started leaving small moans in between your kisses. He knew your high was coming by the way your heat started clenching around his length. “Let go baby girl. It’s okay, I’ve got you.” He left a kiss on your forehead as you released your high around him. You eyes scrunched up and your mouth formed an “O”. He started thrusting sloppy as his came quickly after, putting his head in the crook of your neck as he started panting hard. Your fingers found their way to the back of his head again and you slowly massaged it. After staying still inside you for a few moments, he pulled out and collapsed beside you. The both of you laid there, breathing heavily. You turned to your side so you were facing him, as he did the same. “I bet Sam’s never made you feel that good.” He quirked his eyebrows up. You gave him a smile, “Nope, not even close.” And kissed him. Loving the taste his lips on yours. You just couldn’t get enough of him. This moment made you realize that you really wanted to be with him more than anything in the world. 

robertdoc  asked:

Fic prompt: After the 2025 Parks reunion, Leslie and Ben walk around City Hall, wind up in the same room they hashed over the budget in 15 years earlier, and get even more nostalgic over what's happened since - Leslie in particular after Ben's latest gifts to her. Bonus for Leslie getting overwhelmed and thankful enough to try and give Ben an Ann like nickname.

Linked arm and arm, Ben and Leslie walk down the still familiar hallways of City Hall. 

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