the little tailor

Space Tailor

The Guardians of the Galaxy fic I mentioned inspired by a throwaway line and this guy.

The tailor sat in his area, quietly stitching together the boots he’d been working on for himself for months. Between new crew members that joined up and old crew members that ruined their suits, he hadn’t had a moment to work on his own gear in quite some time. It never helped that half the time he’d get started on a suit for a new crew member just to have them quit, die, or get jettisoned into space.

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Once upon a time, there was a servant of a king who ate an enchanted white snake (because of course he did). This snake gave wisdom in the form of being able to speak to and understand animals. This young servant decided to set off on his own and had many adventures, including saving the lives of fish, ants, and ravens to one day become a king in his own right. However, the most important part of this tale, is that our hero went on to inspire the band Whitesnake to write the 1982 smash hit “Here I Go Again” and the rock and roll world lived happily ever after.


In what should have been an inspirational and uplifting tale, this is the story about how a piece of straw, a lump of coal, and a solitary bean were spared from the fire and sought a better life together out there on the open road. However, the tale ends abruptly with explaing the reason why all beans have a black seam. As that is a question I’ve never asked myself, I fail to see why the Grimms felt we needed a fairy tale to explain the anatomy of a bean. And that’s all I have to say about that.


Can I be honest with you? This is probably my favorite Grimm’s fairy tale yet. A fisherman captures a talking flounder that can grant wishes (because of course he did) and decides to let him go. The fisherman didn’t even want anything in return. But when he gets home and tells his wife, she demands that he go back to the water and ask the flounder for a small cottage. And so, he does.

“Flounder, flounder in the sea,

Come, I pray you, here to me;

For my wife, good Isabel,

Has sent me here against my will.”

The flounder grants the wish, but the wife remains unsatisfied. She forces the fisherman to go back and ask for a castle. Then, she wants to be King. Then, she wants to be Pope. And last, she wants to be like God. This last request, when granted, puts the couple back in the pig stye shanty they lived in before, losing all of the extravagance they’d gained. This fairy tale has so much to say about the nature of the world, desire, and God. It actually made me think. You didn’t think I could get serious about one of these fairy tales, did you? DID YOU?! WELL I DID.


Some guy gets lucky with a fly-swatter, kills seven flies in one stroke, writes SEVEN AT ONE STROKE on his shirt for all the world to see, and suddenly he’s some big shot. Nobody even questions the claim and the Tailor gets all kinds of opportunities, rewards, and glory that no tailor has a right to. I feel like modern society should have been made more aware of this tale so we could have been ready for the likes of Kanye West. He did the exact same thing as this tailor. He just keeps telling everyone he’s great and over time we all believed him. We were warned by the Grimms. And we didn’t listen.

Originally posted by allretrogifs