the light betray me

✭ ✮ Linkin Park || Hybrid Theory Starters ✮✭


  • Paranoia’s all I got left.
  • I don’t know what stressed me first–or how the pressure was fed.
  • But I know just what it feels like to have a voice in the back of my head.
  • It’s like a face that I hold inside–A face that awakes when I close my eyes–
  • A face that watches every time I lie–A face that laughs every time I fall!
  • So I know that when it’s time to sink or swim.
  • That the face inside is hearing me right underneath my skin!
  • It’s like I’m paranoid lookin’ over my back
  • It’s like a whirlwind inside of my head.
  • It’s like I can’t stop what I’m hearing within–!
  • It’s like the face inside is right beneath my skin!
  • Your paranoia’s probably worse!
  • I don’t know what set me off first but I know what I can’t stand? Everybody acts like the fact of the matter is I can’t add up to what you can.
  • The sun goes down and I feel the light betray me–!

                                        One Step Closer

  • I cannot take this anymore!
  • I’m saying everything I’ve said before!
  • All these words they make no sense…
  • I find bliss in ignorance.
  • The less I hear the less you’ll say–but you’ll find that out anyway!
  • Just like before…Everything you say to me takes me one step closer to the edge– I’m about to break!!
  • I need a little room to breathe cause I’m one step closer to the edge!
  • I find the answers aren’t so clear and I wish I could find a way to disappear.❞ 

                                         With You

  • I woke up in a dream today to the cold of the static and put my cold feet on the floor–I forgot all about yesterday.
  • I’m remembering I’m pretending to be where I’m not anymore.
  • A little taste of hypocrisy and I’m left in the wake of the mistake, slow to react.
  • So even though you’re so close to me–you’re still so distant and I can’t bring you back.
  • It’s true the way I feel as promised by your face.
  • The sound of your voice is painted on my memories.
  • Even if you’re not with me, I’m with you.
  • I hit you and you hit me back– the rest of the day stood still.
  • When things go wrong I pretend the past isn’t real.
  • Now I’m trapped in this memory.
  • No matter how far we’ve come–I can’t wait to see tomorrow.

                                         Points of Authority

  • Forfeit the game before somebody else takes you out of the frame and puts your name to shame!
  • Cover up your face–you can’t run the race–the pace is too fast and you just won’t last.
  • You love the way I look at you while taking pleasure in the awful things you put me through.
  • You take away if I give in.
  • My life, my pride is broken.
  • You like to think you’re never wrong–but you’ve lived what you’ve learned.
  • You have to act like you’re someone and you want someone to hurt like you.
  • You want to share what you have been through.
  • You love the things I say I’ll do–the way I hurt myself again just to get back at you!


  • Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal!
    Fear is how I fall–confusing what is real–!
  • There’s something inside me that pulls beneath the surface–consuming, confusing..
  • This lack of self-control I fear is never ending.
  • I can’t seem…to find myself again.
  • Without a sense of confidence and I’m convinced that there’s just too much pressure to take.
  • I’ve felt this way before–so insecure!
  • Discomfort endlessly has pulled itself upon me–distracting, reacting.
  • Against my will I stand beside my own reflection..


  • A constant wave of tension–on top of broken trust–the lessons that you taught me I learned were never true.
  • I find myself in question–they point the finger at me again.
  • Guilty by association–you point the finger at me again!

  • I wanna run away and never say goodbye.
  • I wanna know the truth instead of wondering why.
  • I wanna know the answers–no more lies.
  • I wanna shut the doors and open up my mind.

  • Another wave of tension has more than filled me up.
  • All my talk of taking action–these words were never true.
  • i wanna run away and open up my mind.

                                              By Myself

  • What do I do to ignore them behind me?
  • Do I follow my instincts blindly?
  • Do I hide my pride from these bad dreams–and give in to sad thoughts that are maddening?
  • Do I sit here and try to stand it?
  • Or do I try to catch them red-handed?
  • Do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness, or do I trust nobody and live in loneliness?
  • Because I can’t hold on when I’m stretched so thin–I make the right moves but I’m lost within.
  • I put on my daily facade but then–I just end up getting hurt again–By myself.
  • I can’t hold on to anything, watching everything spin–with thoughts of failure sinking in!
  • If I turn my back I’m defenseless.
  • To go blindly seems senseless.
  • If I hide my pride and let it all go on then they’ll take from me ‘till everything is gone.
  • If I let them go I’ll be outdone, but if I try to catch them I’ll be outrun.
  • If I’m killed by the questions like a cancer, then I’ll be buried in the silence of the answer. By myself.
  • How do you think I’ve lost so much?
  • I’m so afraid that I’m out of touch.
  • How do you expect… I will know what to do–when all I know Is what you tell me to.

                                            In The End

  • It starts with one thing and I don’t know why because It doesn’t even matter how hard you try.
  • All I know–time is a valuable thing–watch it fly by as the pendulum swings.
  • Watch it count down to the end of the day–the clock ticks life away–It’s so unreal.
  • I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart..
  • I tried so hard–and got so far, but in the end it doesn’t even matter.
  • I had to fall to lose it all.
  • But in the end it doesn’t even matter.
  • I tried so hard in spite of the way you were mocking me–acting like I was part of your property!
  • Remembering all the times you fought with me–I’m surprised it got so far.
  • Things aren’t the way they were before.
  • You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore–not that you knew me back then.
  • But it all comes back to me–in the end.

                                              A Place for My Head

  • I watch how the moon sits in the sky in the dark night–shining with the light from the sun.
  • And the sun doesn’t give light to the moon assuming that the moon’s gonna owe it one.
  • It makes me think of how you act for me–you do favors and then rapidly just turn around and start asking me about things that you want back from me.
  • I’m sick of the tension, sick of the hunger– SICK OF YOU ACTING LIKE I OWE YOU THIS!!
  • Find another place to feed your greed while I find a place to rest.
  • I want to be in another place.
  • I hate when you say you don’t understand–you’ll see it’s not mean to be.
  • I want to be in the energy, not with the enemy–a place for my head.
  • Maybe someday I’ll be just like you and step on people like you do and run away  the people I thought I knew!
  • I remember back then who you were–you used to be calm, used to be strong–used to be generous but you should’ve known that you’d wear out your welcome.
  • And now you see how quiet it is, all alone.


  • At the core I’ve forgotten–the middle of my thoughts.
  • Taken far from my safety–the picture is there .
  • The memory won’t escape me..but why should I care?
  • There’s a place so dark you can’t see the end, the skies cock back and shock that which can’t defend.
  • The rain then sends dripping an acidic question–forcefully, the power of suggestion.
  • Then with the eyes shut, looking thought the rust and rot–And dust– a small spot of light floods the floor.
  • Light pours over the rusted world of pretend.
  • The eyes ease open and its dark again.
  • In the memory you’ll find me with my eyes burning up.
  • The darkness holds me tightly until the sun rises up.
  • Moving all around–the screaming of the ups and downs is pollution manifested in perpetual sound .
  • My memory now is like the picture was then–when the paper’s crumpled up it can’t be perfect again.

                                            Pushing Me Away

  • I’ve lied to you the same way that I always do–this is the last smile that I’ll fake for the sake of being with you.
  • Everything falls apart–even the people who never frown eventually break down.
  • The sacrifice of hiding in a lie is that everything has to end.
  • You’ll soon find we’re out of time left to watch it all unwind.
  • The Sacrifice is never knowing why I never walked away, why I played myself this way.
  • Now I see, you’re testing me–and it pushes me away.
  • I’ve tried like you to do everything you wanted too.
  • This is the last time I’ll take the blame for the sake of being with you.

“He is the closest person to me in this whole world. He is the man I will always forgive, always trust. The one man I would never, ever lie to.“

With shaking fingernails I grip deep into my thighs. The fluorescent light buzzes loudly on my skull. As I feel my body betray me, the pain whips through my core and snakes through the bones. I can feel the venom mixing and licking up my blood. How strange that such pain and torment are caused by such a gentle touch and caress. How love can trick your body and make you sick. Every pulse of pain is worth each kiss you placed upon it.
—  3.12.15 I wrote this about my constant UTIS
Brad Simpson Smut


I walked out of the airport, looking around to see the face I had to miss for way too long. I turned around as I heard my name being called. There he was, my best friend, Tristan Evans. I had known Tristan since we were toddlers. Our moms became best friends, so we hung out almost every week, but when I was 20 I moved away to Chicago for work.

I smiled as I walked over to give him a hug. He hugged me back before giving me a kiss on my forehead. We stood there for about a minute before we pulled back. 

“I missed you,” He spoke before putting my luggage in the trunk of his car. We both got into his car before I answered him.

“I missed you too,” I smiled as he started the car, “How have you been? With the band and stuff like that?”

“Really good, everythings going alright,” He smiled. I loved how happy he was when he spoke about the band and music. He loved his job and he loved music. I was more than happy for him to be able to fullfill his dreams.

“Look, I don’t want to make this awkward, but Brad is staying at ours for a while,” He spoke as we stopped at a red light. My body tensed up when that name came out of his house. Brad and I used to date, but we broke up when I told him I was moving to Chicago. Let’s just say it wasn’t a good breakup. 

“No, that’s okay,” I lied, turning my gaze to the passing cars.

Tristan opened the door to his apartment that he shared with Anastasia. I walked through the door, being greeted by two arms who wrapped themselves around my neck. I laughed before pulling my best friend into the most thight hug ever. 

“It’s good to have you back,” Anastasia said, before pulling away from the hug. I smiled before following her into the living room. I looked around but there was no sign of Brad, “Brad’s not here, he’s out for dinner with his girlfriend,” She assured me. As much as I know those words shouldn’t have hurt me, but they did. 

“Your suitcases are in your room,” Tristan spoke as he entered the room, placing a kiss on Anastasia’s lips. I thanked him before sitting down on the sofa.

“So, how are things on the love side?” He asked, before sitting down next to me. I smiled, holding up my hand and showing my engagement ring.

“No way!” Anastasia squeeled, taking my hand in hers, “He proposed!?” He as in Andrew, my boyfriend, well fiancé.

“He did,” I laughed, “I’m really excited,” As much as I knew that was a lie, I couldn’t say anything else but that. Don’t get me wrong, I love Andrew, but he’s not … He’s not Brad. 

“Well congratulations,” Tristan said, before kissing my cheek.

I laid on the bed in the second guest room, when I heard noice coming from the hallway. I frowned as I listened closely, but I couldn’t figure out what it was. I stood up, slowly opening my door as I heard laughter in the kitchen. As I approached it, I recognized the laughter. His laughter. I turned the corner and saw him kissing, who I guessed was his new girlfriend. When I was about to turn around, not being able to watch, they pulled away and she saw me.

“Oh, hello,” She smiled at me, making Brad turn around too. His eyes widened a bit when he saw me, but I avoided his face as I smiled at the girl.

“Hi, I’m sorry I was just getting some water,” I lied, “I didn’t want to disturb you two,” I said as I walked past them to get a water bottle from the fridge.

“Well, I’m Alexis,” The girl introduced herself as I turned around. I shook her hand, glancing at Brad for a moment, before deciding to introduce myself aswell.

“Y/N,” I said, before walking out of the kitchen, glancing one more time at Brad before going back to my room.

About an hour after I was still awake, thinking about life, about Brad and Andrew. The minute I saw Brad, I fell right back in love with him. I can’t marry Andrew, it wouldn’t be right. Not to him nor me and weirdly enough I feel like I’m betraying Brad if I marry him. A light knock pulled me from my thought as I told whoever knocked to come in.

“Hi,” He spoke, closing the door behind him. I turned on the lamp that was placed on the nighstand next to the bed. I eyed him from head to toe and back up. He hadn’t changed a thing.

“Hi,” I whispered back as he stood on the other side of the room. My voice came out so soft that I wasn’t sure if he heard me, “Shouldn’t you be with Alexis?” I asked after an uncomfortable silence.

“She went home,” He spoke, walking over to my bed. I sat up so that he could take a seat, “What are you doing here?” He asked when he sat down. I was a bit taken aback by his question as it came out a little harsh.

“Tristan and Anastasia invited me, I didn’t know you were staying here,” I told him, looking down at my fingers who were picking at my nails. 

“If you had known if I was here, would you still have come?” He asked, lifting up my chin with his finger so that I was looking at him, “Honestly, please.”

“Of course, our breakup has nothing to do with them,” I told him, placing my hand on his to get it of my ching. His eyes travelled at my ring finger as he saw the engagement ring. I quickly pulled my hand away from his view.

“You’re engaged?” He asked in disbelief. I looked at the other side of the room.

“Yeah,” I shrugged, “To Andrew.” His head shot up when he heard the name. He looked at me with a shocked expression. You see, about a year ago, I found out that Andrew cheated on me. I got drunk and called Brad to tell him about it, he was furious, but he was even more angry when I told him that Andrew threw a vase at me for confronting him about it.

“Are you kidding me!?” He asked in disbilief, his mouth hung open in shock. I looked down, shaking my head.

“No, I love him. Whatever he did to me, it’s over,” I said, looking up to meet his eyes with mine, “You don’t have to worry about me, Brad. We broke up remember?”

“You can’t marry him,” He stated, taking my hand in his, “I know you don’t want to,” His eyes pleaded me to break the wedding off, but what if I did? What would happen after that? Me and him would get happy and get married?

“Of course I do,” I lied, avoiding his eyes, knowing that he would see right through me, “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t marry him?” He looked away from me when I said that. I knew he wouldn’t say it, say that he still loved me, it was stupid to think that he would confess it.

“Because,” He started, his eyes meeting mine again, “I can love you better than him, I would never hurt you,” He said, bringing his hand to my face, carressing my cheek with his thumb. I leaned into his thouch. He brought his face closer to mine as he leaned his forehead against mine. I could feel his warm breath against my lips, making me want to feel them against mine again, even if it was the last time.

“Than show me,” I breathed out and with that he closed the gap between us. Our lips moving in sync as he pushed me down on the bed. His left hand ran up and down my side, slipping underneed my shirt as his right one remained on my cheek. I ran my hands through his brown locks, pulling them now and then. He slipped his tongue into my mouth as he grinded his crotch against my core, making me even more frustrated. We pulled away from each to catch our breath.

“Let’s take this off,” He whispered, before taking my engagement ring off. He placed kiss on my hand before placing one on my lips. I flipped us over so I was on top, straddling him. I pulled my shirt over my head. His eyes travelled to my chest as his hands moved from my hips to my breasts, cupping them. I smiled before leaning down again and placing my lips back on his. I grinded myself against his crotch and felt him harden underneath me, making me blush.

“I missed you,” He breathed out as I moved my lips to his neck, leaving open mouth kisses and hickies all over the place, marking him as mine, even though he wasn’t mine.

“I missed you too,” I said, placing a soft kiss on his lips before he flipped us back over so he was back on top. His lips went from mine to my bellybutton, leaving kisses along the way. I pushed his sweat pants of with my feet as he flung them across the room with his foot. He lips stopped at the waistband of my panties as he looked up at me through his eyelashes. I nodded as he pulled them off. His hands running up and down my thighs. I pulled him back up and pulled him in for a kiss as my hands pushed his boxers off. I reached for my purse which was sitting next to the bed. I pulled out a condom and handed it to Brad. He laughed, placing a kiss on my forehead.

“Eager are we?” He chuckled, making me roll my eyes.

“Very,” I teased, sending him a wink as he ripped the package open and rolled the condom over his lenght. He hovered over me, his eyes looking into mine.

“Ready?” He asked, his thumb carressing my cheeck. I smiled, nodding before he pushed himself into me. I bit my lip, biting back a moan as he let us both adjust to the feeling. 

“Brad, please move,” I pleaded, grabbing onto his bicep. He nodded before rocking his hips against mine. Our boddies fitting perfectly together as we moaned in sync. His lips found mine again as he picked up his pace. He pulled away and hid his face in the crook of my neck as I nuzzled mine in his. His groans filled the room as I tried to keep them in by biting my lip. His lips placed soft kisses on my neck every now and than, making me even weaker than before. My nails ran down his back, definitely leaving scratch marks, as he went even faster.

“I’m close,” He breathed out before placing a small kiss on my lips.

“Me too,” I whispered, before we both released at the same time. He road out our orgasms, before laying down next to me, panting just like me. He turned to face me. He nose nuzzling mine as his eyes stared into mine.

“I love you,” He spoke softly, keeping his gaze on me. I looked into his eyes, seeing that he meant it and didn’t just say it in the moment. A smile painted on my lips as I placed a kiss on his lips.

“I love you too, Bradley.”

Hope you enjoyed it! Feel free to request something if you want!

🐺Hybrid Theory - Linkin Park -  Starters

  • “Paranoia’s all I got left,”
  • “I don’t know what stressed me first, or how the pressure was fed.”
  • “I know just what it feels like to have a voice in the back of my head.”
  • “You’ve got a face on the inside too, and your paranoia’s probably worse.”
  • “I don’t know what set me off first, but I know what I can’t stand,”
  • “The sun goes down, I feel the light betray me.”
  • “I cannot take this anymore, saying everything I’ve said before,”
  • “I find bliss in ignorance,”
  • “Everything you say to me takes me one step closer to the edge.”
  • “All these thoughts, they make no sense.”
  • “Forgot all about yesterday, remembering I’m pretending to be where I’m not anymore,”
  • “Even though you’re so close to me, you’re still so distant, and I can’t bring you back,”
  • “When things go wrong I pretend that the past isn’t real,”
  • “No matter how far we’ve come, I can’t wait to see tomorrow.”
  • “Forfeit the game before somebody else takes you out of the frame and puts your name to shame,”
  • “You love the way I look at you while taking pleasure in the awful things you put me through,”
  • “You want someone to hurt like you, you want to share what you’ve been through,”
  • “You love the things I say I’ll do, the way I hurt myself again just to get back at you,”
  • “This lack of self-control I fear is never ending,”
  • “It’s haunting how I can’t seem to find myself again,”
  • “The lessons that you taught me, I learn were never true.”
  • “I wanna know the truth instead of wondering why,”
  • “What do I do to ignore them behind me? Do I follow my instincts blindly?”
  • “Do I trust someone and get fooled by phoniness,or do I trust nobody and live in loneliness?”
  • “I ask why, but in my mind I find I can’t rely on myself,”
  • “If I hide my pride and let it all go then they’ll take from me ‘til everything is gone,”
  • “The clock ticks life away, it’s so unreal.”
  • “Trying to hold on, didn’t even know, I wasted it all just to watch you go.”
  • “Things aren’t the way they were before, you wouldn’t even recognize me anymore.”
  • “For all this, there’s only one thing you should know.”
  • “The sun doesn’t give light to the moon assuming the moon’s gonna owe it one,”
  • “Find another place to feed your greed, while I find a place to rest.”
  • “Maybe some day I’ll be just like you, and step on people like you do,”
  • “Now you see how quiet it is, all alone.”
  • “The picture is there, the memory won’t escape me, but why should I care?”
  • “I hate when you say you don’t understand,”
  • “This is the last smile that I’ll fake for the sake of being with you,”
  • “This is the last time I’ll take the blame for the sake of being with you,”
  • “Your testing me pushes me away,”
  • “I just wish that I didn’t feel like there was something I missed,”
  • “I’d give it all away just to have somewhere to go, give it all away just to have someone to come home to,”
  • “You know what I mean, you could put a label on life,”
  • “That shit ain’t new we’re constantly evolving,”
  • “There ain’t no label for this shit,”
  • “They always gotta put a label on it, try and create something so they can water it down,”
  • “Sometimes I feel like a prophet, misunderstood under the gun like new disease.”
There Was Something In My Aunt’s Basement

When Aunt Norma asked me to house sit, I was hesitant. She lived in a large, old Victorian set out in the woods, the kind of place that gave me the chills just driving by. The thought of being alone inside of it, surrounded by her antiques and hunting trophies, had beads of nervous sweat breaking out across my forehead. When I told Dad that I was thinking of saying no, that I was uncomfortable, he scoffed at me.

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Xillia Favorites  |  [3/3] Protagonists

↳ Alvin

anonymous asked:

Can you do a one shot where Tom is jealous of much time the reader is spending with her friend. With lots and lots of fluff

I can do this!  Here is your Mr. Hiddleston one-shot, comin’ ‘atcha!

Grabbing your coat as you race out the door, you shut it behind you as Tom sticks his head out of the room.


Looking around as he walks into the living area, a towel wrapped around his waist, he uses another to dry his hair as he shouts a bit louder.


Sighing as he looks out the window, watching your best friend’s car taillights dim into the nighttime, he saunters over and picks up his phone, clicking buttons as he sends you a message.

What happened to our plans tonight? -TH

Setting the phone down as he shuffles back into the room, he hears the home phone ring.

Picking it up and placing it to his ear, he sighs into the receiver as you start to ramble.

“Baby, what plans?  I told you I was going out with Shirley while she was in town visiting…why would you make plans over them and not tell me?  Is everything alright?  Do I need to turn around and come back?”

“I think maybe you should…” he drifts off.

As your brow furrows, you put your hand over your phone as you look over at Shirley.

“Can you take me back?” you whisper.

As she nods and throws the car into a U-turn, you cling to the safety handle for dear life as you cackle into the phone.

“I’m coming back.  Maybe we can all watch a movie!” you exclaim.

“No, Y/N, we kind of need to talk,” Tom sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.

As your heart starts to sink and your hands begin to shake, Shirley puts her hand on your knee as she gives you a sympathetic look.

“Don’t worry, we can have coffee tomorrow,” she whispers.

Nodding slowly as you see your house come back into view, you sigh as you get out, hanging up the phone on Tom and apologizing furiously with Shirley, giving you an excuse about how tired she is anyway with all of the going out you guys have been doing.

“I’ll see you in the morning?” she asks as she puts her car in reverse.

“Promise,” you smile, hitting the hood of her car as she slowly starts to back out.


Sitting on the couch as you watch Tom lower himself onto the coffee table in front of you, you shrug your coat off and sling it off to the side, exposing your backless top and lack of a bra.

“You were going out in public like that?” he asks, furrowing his brow as he looks you up and down.

“Y-…yeah…?” you ask, your expression confused as he sighs heavily.

“Tom, baby…what’s going on?  You’re scaring me…”

Putting your trembling hand on his knee, he picks it up and slowly brings it to his lips, his kiss lingering on the back of your hand as your eyes begin to water.

“Are you breaking up with me?” you whisper, your lip quivering as Tom shoots his head up.

“No, sweetheart.  Oh my god, no,” he says, his expression sorrowful as he reaches out and wipes a tear threatening to spill down your face.

“I just…”

Searching his face as he casts his gaze downward, he sits back and runs his hands through his still-damp hair.

He always does that when he’s nervous.

“Give me the punchline, and we’ll backtrack,” you say, putting your hands on his knees.

“You’re spending too much time with your friend,” he says plainly.

Feeling your breath hitch in your throat, you swallow hard before continuing.

“But…she’s only in town for 2 weeks,” you say.

“I know, I know,” he says, groaning in frustration as he presses the heels of his palms in to his eyes.

“And one week has already gone by,” you add, pulling your hands back as he slowly stands up.

“I know!” he says, throwing his hands in the air as he walks towards the front room window.

“And I haven’t seen her in over a year…” you trail off, barely above a whisper.

“I know…” he sighs.

“And I moved all the way fro-”

“Y/N, I know!” he roars, turning back at you with wild eyes as you recoil on the couch, your face tossing to the side as you close your eyes, your burning tears staining your cheeks.

“I know,” he says, rushing to your side and sitting down, his hand settling lightly on your shoulder as you flinch.

“You have given up so much to be with me,” he says, lowering his voice as you scoot away from him a little.

“…but, I came home early to surprise you, you know?  And you weren’t here and it hurt so much more than I imagined.  I know you told me she was in town, and when I called to see what you were doing, there was loud music in the background and I knew you weren’t home as the taxi pulled up…but coming back to an empty house…seeing evidence of you being here but no actual you…it just…”

Wiping at your tears as you slowly turn to look at him, you see his shoulders sagging, his eyes heavy with guilt as he slumps slowly back into the couch.

“I’m so sorry, baby…” you trail off, your hand creeping over and settling over his.

“I love that your friend is in town.  I know that you miss home greatly,” he says, taking your hand and running his thumb into your palm in light circles.

He knew it always calmed you down.

“I guess I’m just jealous,” he admits.

“Jealous?” you ask, your brow furrowing as you shake your head, “But why?”


Taking a deep breath as he looks hesitantly into your eyes, you feel your heart stop beating as he parts those beautiful lips of his.

“…because I see the light in your eyes whenever you talk about her.  I hear it in your voice…and that doesn’t happen with me anymore.  Your eyes don’t light up when you see me.  Your voice betrays your emotions over the phone when you tell me you’re happy to talk to me and you’re not.  I wonder sometimes if maybe…”

Feeling the tears well in your eyes as you look at him incredulously, you squeeze his hand, urging him to go on.

“Maybe what, sweetheart?” you coo.

“…that maybe…maybe you don’t love me any longer,” he breathes.

Letting out the breath you were holding as you throw your arms around him, you bury your face in to the crook of his neck as you begin to sob.

“I love you so much, Thomas,” you choke out, your voice muffled by his warm skin.

“I’m so sorry,” you squeak, the tears pouring like rain on a windshield as Tom works your body into his lap.

“Please don’t cry…” he whispers, running his fingers through your hair as he rocks you side to side, “please don’t be sad.”

As you draw ragged breaths, trying desperately to settle your emotions, you lean your head back to look at him, your nose red and your eyes puffy.

“There is nothing, and no one, I love more than you,” you say, rubbing the apple of his cheek with your thumb as he smiles weakly at you.

“I know this has been a crazy time in my career, and that for the past year you haven’t seen me much,” he says, his eyes searching your face as your body begins to slowly settle.

“It’s alright,” you say, cupping his cheek with your hand as you lean in a bit closer, “this is your career…your passion…and I would never hold you back from something like that,” you reassure him.

“I guess I’m just possessive of the little time that I do get to have with you,” he says.

“And rightfully so,” you state, a smile breaking out across your face as you sniffle.

As the two of you sit in relative silence, your bodies attempting to calm your nerves as you straddle his lap, his hands slowly move to your waist as he sits you upright.

“I have an idea…” he trails off, a devilish grin wafting over his face.

“Oh, really?” you ask, ticking your eyebrows up playfully as you start to wiggle your pelvis into his.

“No, no, no,” he breathes, his eyes fluttering closed momentarily as you stop gyrating your hips.

“I mean, yes, that…but, not that…later, I mean,” he says, becoming flustered as his face begins to turn colors.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” you ask, sliding off to the side as you lean your head on his shoulder.

“I have a new project that has fallen into my lap,” he starts.

Sighing lightly as you bend into him and nuzzle his shoulder, he wraps his arms around you and pulls you close.

“Apparently the part was specifically written with me in mind,” he muses, his voice dropping a little lower.

“Well then you can’t turn it down,” you say, looking up at him with big doe eyes.

“So, it’s alright that I do it?” he asks.

Furrowing your brow as you sit up, you look sternly into his eyes.

“Don’t you ever ask me permission when it comes to your career,” you say matter-of-factly.

“Deal,” he says, taking your hand within his and playing with your individual fingers.

“…but what if I wanted to ask you to come with me?” he asks shyly.

“W-…what?” you breathe.

Taking a deep breath, he lifts his head to meet your gaze.

“What if I asked you to come with me?  To stay with me during filming.  To come to set and have lunches with me.  To be with me every night whenever I get done with filming.  To visit me on set whenever I miss you too much.  What if I asked that?”

Blinking at him as you feel your heart rate gain speed, a broad smile peels across your face as you throw your arms around him.

“Yes,” you whisper, your lips planting a huge, wet kiss on his cheek.

“Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!” you squeal, jumping up from his lap and twirling in circles.

Chuckling as he stands up, he catches you mid-twirl around your waist, his strong arms stopping you in your tracks as he picks you up, crashing his lips onto yours as your hands quickly find their way to his hair.

“So…I take it that’s a ‘yes’?” he playfully mocks, his breathing becoming ragged as his tightening pants betray his love of your outfit.

“Yes,” you breathe, your eyes sunken deep into his as you lightly nuzzle his nose with yours.

And as he dips his lips into your neck, your head tilting to the side as your legs jump you up and wrap around his waist, you feel him slowly walk you into the deep, dark abyss of your bedroom, his hands roaming your bare back as he slowly dips you onto the bed.


“No,no, no, no. He could not have! he would not have. How can I live when my sunlight has betrayed me? The only thing that shed me light in this darkness, and even he has forsaken me. He who soothes my wounds has caused me the greatest pain of them all. I will never know love again! It seems I was right after all, but my heart was too foolish to listen- it was all too good to be true. The only thing I can love is gold! Gold, as cold a mistress as she is, will not betray me. Gold is the only love I need! Ah! I shall never be happy, never more! As long as I live.”

Let me tell you something if you think that Thorin didn’t suffer as much-or more- as Bilbo during Bilbo’s betrayal, then you are very, very wrong.

(as good as i could draw with an injured finger! thank you for all the nice people leaving messages in my ask. especially you, anon from seville… it warms my heart to know i have friends in my homecountry, after all these years *UuU*)

Using You // Anakin x Reader

Anon asked: hi!! could you maybe write an imagine where you follow anakin to the dark side because you just love him too much but you must protect your kids from it since you know they are Force sensitive and you want them to be good? he feels betrayed but then goes to the light again to stay with his family (lots of fluff)? pls take your time, there’s no rush! and love your imagines :) x

“We will be unstoppable, my love. The children will be safe from harm and our love will fuel our reign,” Anakin tells you, kissing your lips with a new found side to him.

You had followed him to the dark side. You knew it was wrong, it was terrible. But, you loved him too much to let him go. Plus, you had two newborn twins who needed their father. You hope your decision wouldn’t fail you.

Two months later, you regretted everything. Anakin has changed. He pushed you aside, but only came to you when he needed you to satisfy him. He showed no attention to the twins. You needed to leave. You knew Anakin would beg you to stay with him and he’d promise you he’d change. But that would be a lie.

That night when he came into your bedroom, the twins were asleep and your stuff was packed. You had previously called Coruscant and called for a rescue ship. Currently, Obi Wan was on the way to get you.

“Darling, the day has been dreadful. Palpatine has been putting off the construction of our project. I feel as if I’m been pushed aside,” he tells you. You almost laugh at the irony because that’s what Anakin was doing to you. He grips his hands on your waist, pulling you close to him. “But, I know I have you to look forward to.” He connects your lips, immediately trying to get to you react back to him. He starts to kiss down you neck, leaving small love bites down your neck. Just then he stops. “Why are your bags packed?” he asks, his tone nervous.

“Anakin, we need to talk. I need to leave with the children. It’s not safe for them here. I know they are force sensitive. They cannot be surrounded by the dark side. I don’t want them here. Regarding you, you don’t seem to car about them anymore. Or me for that matter. You only come to me when you need love or sex and I’m sick of it,” you explain, his letting go of your waist.

“No, you can’t leave. You and the children are my life. I have no purpose without you guys. I can train them and show them the ways of the force. We can make it work, (Y/N). Don’t betray me,” he pleads.

You scoff. “I didn’t betray you Anakin. You betrayed me. You betrayed the light side. You betrayed your brothers. I’m sorry, Anakin. I love you, but I cannot be with you any more.” You grab your children and the bags.

“You are betraying me, (Y/N)! How could you!” he bellows. You ignore him, trying to keep your composure. “Don’t leave me here, (Y/N)!”

You turn around before leaving. “Goodbye, Anakin.”

It has been three months without him. It was a miserable life without him. Your heart craved him and beats for him.

The twins were growing up without a father and that broke our heart.

But something was about to happen that day that would change the game forever. You sensed it.

As you suspected, a ship landed and a familiar figure walked off the ship.

“(Y/N)?” he called out. Your heart raced. You ran down the stairs and onto the landing platform.

“Anakin?” you look. He stood there in his Jedi robes, smiling at you. “Anakin!” You run into his arms. You push your lips on his.

“I’m so sorry, darling. I couldn’t leave you. Not being with you or the children was tearing me apart day by day. I need you. All three of you. I’m so sorry. I’m back and here to stay. Forever.”

Send me a ○ for my muse to say something to yours.
  • 1. Why does it feel like night today?
  • 2. Something in here's not right today.
  • 3. Why am I so uptight today?
  • 4. Paranoia's all I got left.
  • 5. I don't know what stressed me first.
  • 6. I don't know how the pressure was fed.
  • 7. But I know just what it feels like to have a voice in the back of my head.
  • 8. There's a face that I hold inside.
  • 9. There's a face that awakes when I close my eyes l.
  • 10. There's a face that watches every time I lie.
  • 11. There's a face that laughs every time I fall.
  • 12. I know that when it's time to sink or swim.
  • 13. It's like I'm paranoid, lookin' over my back.
  • 14. It's like a whirlwind inside of my head.
  • 15. It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within.
  • 16. It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin.
  • 17. I know I've got a face in me, it point'
  • 18. s out all my mistakes to me.
  • 19. You've got a face on the inside too.
  • 20. Your paranoia's probably worse.
  • 21. I don't know what set me off first.
  • 22. I know what I can't stand.
  • 23. Everybody acts like it's the fact of the matter.
  • 24. I can't add up to what you can.
  • 25. So you know that when it's time to sink or swim
  • 26. The sun goes down.
  • 27. I feel the light betray me.

maybe if the world willed it. maybe if i was a different person. maybe if good things stayed. but instead new york in a rearview mirror. instead no eyes to follow me across the room. no hands to hold my darkness. the hallways are empty.  the bedrooms are so lonely, they ask for haunting, but there’s no turning back. not even a ghost would want this. i miss the days before the year that changed me. when i could fall asleep on a couch and not think about how i’d make it to my bed but somehow arms would find me and carry me safely and i’d wake up to soft light and my dreams weren’t the type to betray me yet. these are the moments i mourn. these are the stories the trees tell the birds. this is how winter happens again and again. i used to know hope like a poem, but now all i know is the way it fades.

There's literally a Hunter Hayes song for every emotion:

Feeling happy? Better Than This

Feeling sad? Rainy Season, All You Ever, When Did You Stop Loving Me

Feeling fun/crazy? I Want Crazy, Love Makes Me

Feeling lonely? Everybody’s Got Somebody But Me, Invisible, Cry With You

Feeling like young love? Storm Warning, Somebody’s Heartbreak, Storyline, Tattoo, Light Me Up

Feeling angry/betrayed? More Than I should, What You Gonna Do, You Think You Know Somebody

Feeling mischievous? Wild Card, Secret Love

Feeling blessed? Faith To Fall Back On, Flashlight

Trying to get over a breakup? In a song, Nothing Like Starting Over, If It’s Just Me

Feeling madly in love? Wanted, Still Fallin, If You Told Me To, A Thing About You

Need some encouragement? Love Too Much

Feeling like you want to listen to some AWESOME music? ALL OF THE ABOVE :D

Request: Look Inside

Request: Request : castiel imagine when you had been betrayed by TFW and your only best friend&crush, castiel so you came back to be a very strong angel that want a revenge but failed because you love castiel too much, and they beg for forgiveness. Thanks!

Word Count: 2,028 (sorrynotsorry)

This went a little overboard ‘cause I got super excited. For reference, Radueriel is an angel who has the power to turn others into angels, and Sandalphon is responsible for the power given to all seraphim. I hope you like it, thank you!<33

Your eyes widen as the blade protrudes from your chest, right before your eyes. You don’t see your assailant, but you feel everything. The blood-slicked blade clatters to the floor and whoever the owner was is gone.

The cry of panic is lost in the sea of voices that suddenly surrounds you.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. It was supposed to go easily – sure, you were meant to be bait but being stabbed was not part of the plan.

“Y/N!” Cas’ voice stands out above the others as he rushes to you, catching you in his arms before you hit the ground. You can feel warm blood, slipping down your back, making your shirt stick to you. You can see it on the front, too, where your heart has been pierced and the crimson spurts from the wound. There’s no chance you can patch this up, and you know it.

You’re struggling for breath; something’s lodged in your throat. When you try to speak, it dislodges and the spurt of crimson that spills down your chin and over your chest sends a shockwave through you. The three guys are yelling but you don’t understand why or what they’re saying. Black dots filter themselves into your vision and everything fades away.


“Y/N Y/L/N?”

You turn slowly, feeling as the water comes in and filters over your toes once more.


A man stands behind you, wearing a full on, formal suit. You can’t help but smile slightly at his stoic appearance, but you know what he is. You know he’s an angel – all that you don’t know is why he’s come into your heaven, this eternal summer by the beach with the people you love most in thw world.

Well, most of them.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” He asks awkwardly, and you roll your eyes. You step out of the water and onto the warm sand, letting your hair blow back in the breeze.

“Why are you here?” You counter, and the angel laughs.

“Never one to miss a trick.” He comments, “Y/N, I’m hoping you are aware of the serious betrayal that lead to your death.”

“My death was an accident.” You say, but all he does is laugh.

“You think that?”

“They wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. They’re my friends. My family.”

“Right up until the moment that they decided your death was for the greater good.” He seems so calm about this, and he doesn’t seem to be taking pleasure in feeding you these lies at all. In fact, he seems to be being quite honest.

“Don’t bullshit me.” You snap, turning away from him, “Get out of here.”

“Y/N, whether you want to believe it or not, I can show you the conversation that went down. The stated that your death would make the demons believe that they had won, thereby making them vulnerable, so the heroes of the day could swoop in.” He says, shrugging, “I’m truly sorry for your… betrayal.”

“They wouldn’t do that.” You insist, but your resolve is quickly wavering and you know it. You love the brothers more than anything, and you were sure they’d been the same. Nonetheless, you know better than anyone – you never really know a person. Not truly. Castiel on the other hand… Castiel was different. You’d loved him in an entirely different way and even though you knew he’d never felt the same, you couldn’t help it. “They just wouldn’t.”

“Let me show you.”


A whole year – that’s how long it’s been since your first encounter with that angel. You’ve come to know him as Radueriel – and that’s how this whole thing came about.

You left your heaven with Radueriel to gain answers about your death – never one to be passive about problems, you went with him only intending to find out what happened. This whole activity was not on the menu.

Somehow, Radueriel was able to implement grace into your soul, thereby giving you wings – both literal and metaphorical – and making you an angel. He wasn’t done there, however – he followed up by requesting the assistance of his brother Sandalphon. Radueriel requested that the older angel bequeath superior powers to you, which, after some convincing and bargaining, he had accepted.

And so your training had begun – sure, you’d learned combat and how to use your newfound powers in battle, but also how to do good. How to heal and construct and learn.

Yet, no matter how much grace they fed into you, no matter how much extra power you were given, they couldn’t change one thing.

Your soul is one of a human. Your conscience remained, and that was going to be an issue. So they had your humanity locked away where you couldn’t even find it – keeping it deep inside was the only way to keep you intact.

“Y/N,” The words come to you one morning, and you just know, “You’re ready. You may go.”


Your humanity may be locked away, but your memories are not. To navigate the earth as a celestial being is entirely different than is it to as a human. You perceive everything with such clarity, it can be painful at times. Though you’re still in your own body, the addition of the spectacular wings make moving around feel strange. You can go wherever you want, whenever you want to. You could, that is. If you weren’t on a mission.

Castiel and the Winchesters. That is your mission. Your justice, your vengeance. Your sole purpose. There is nothing else. You hunt them down and you return the favour they did to you all that time ago. It takes only days for you to track them down, despite the security they’d gotten carved into their ribs.

“Castiel.” You breathe as you see the angel. He’s over the other side of the road, but he stops dead in his tracks – which, in turn, causes the brothers to stop, too, and follow his gaze. All three sets of eyes land on you – but you don’t approach them. Oh, no. Not in the middle of the street.

Instead, you turn on your heel and begin walking. They give chase and you smile to yourself.


You arrive at the motel you know they’re staying at and teleport yourself inside. They open the door a few moments later, their eyes wide with wonder. Well, the Winchesters. Castiel… his expression is more one of terror – for good reason.

Sam is the first to break, running at you with the intention of hugging you. You only laugh humourlessly, however, and with a flick of your wrist, he hits the wall with a sickening crack.

“Sammy!” Dean runs at his brother, but you shrug.

“He’s fine.”

“What the hell are you?” Dean hisses, stuck between sticking a knife in you and running to his brother.

“She’s an angel.” Castiel whispers, “She’s… powerful. More powerful than she should be.”

“You can thank your big brothers for that.” You grin, looking at your nails, “They send their regards.”

“Holy…” Dean breathes, “Y/N, what the hell?”

“I believe that is a question reserved for me.” You say softly; dangerously. Sam, apparently now only waking up, shakes his head quickly. The three men stare at you, and you take a long, deep breath.

“What do you mean?”

“You killed me!” You hiss, your rage bursting at the seams, “You let me die only hours after telling me that I was your family! What kind of family is that?” A mirror smashes, the glittering shards tinkling to the floor. Simultaneously, your wings flare out, hurling themselves at either wall of the room and dominating the space.


“Don’t Y/N me. Don’t even try that. I know you’re sorry, but that changes nothing. My life was worth less to you than some victory. You thought I’d never find out, huh? You thought I’d go and hang out in heaven for the rest of eternity and be content without knowing that the people I loved most in the world betrayed me!?” Your grace lights up the room and all three men cower in fear and rightly so.

“Please, Y/N. Hear me out!” Dean pleads. You shake your head.

“I should smite the three of you right now!” You seethe, your veins glowing with bubbling grace, “I shouldn’t hesitate!”

“They why don’t you?” Castiel speaks quietly, softly. He knows exactly what you’ve been through and you know it. What you don’t know it that he can see – or, rather, sense – your humanity as it rails and struggles against its confinement. That puts you at a loss for a moment, and you shrug.

“Maybe I’m being nice.”

“Don’t bother.” Castiel counters, staring you down, “Y/N, you’re not yourself. You… you are merciful and kind and you love like no-one I’ve ever known. Please, for your own sake, look inside and find yourself.” He pauses, and you stand there, facing off. He seems fearless, but you can see it there, bubbling beneath the stoic wall he’s built up to keep you out.

Look inside and find yourself.

And so you do. And suddenly, you’re filled with a warmth that is nothing like the steel you’ve encased yourself in – that melts away as everything comes flooding back.

“Cas?” You whisper, taking a full, deep breath. The wings on your back feel too heavy and the glow fades from the room as you crumple to the floor. Everything is insanely heightened – emotions and pain. Tears fall down your face and everything seems to glow around the edges.

“Y/N?” The angel whispers, kneeling down beside you and placing a hand on your shoulder, “Y/N?”

“It’s me. Cas, I’m so sorry.” You breathe, wiping away the torrent of tears, “Please… don’t kill me.”

“We’re not going to kill you.” Cas chuckles, wrapping an arm around your waist – you’d forgotten he could see your wings, which are now tucked closely to your back. He pulls you up to sit on the bed, “Y/N, what happened?”

“They told me that you got me killed. I- I believed them. And… and they turned me into this. To get revenge.” You hiccup, “Cas, I hate it.”

The brothers stare at the two of you, sat so close together. Cas rubs gently over your back, pulling you into him safely.

“I know. I know, it’s okay. You’ll get used to it, I’ll help you,” He soothes, “You’ll be okay.”

“I don’t want to be this.”

“I know you don’t. But you are. And that’s okay. Being an angel is fun, trust me,” He smiles, pressing a light kiss to your forehead.


“Of course. It’s not all doom, gloom, and smiting.” He grins, and you laugh.

“Hey, you guys?” Dean grabs his brother’s arm, “We’re gonna… go hang out at the diner for an hour. Have fun.”

“See you,” You smile, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Sam grins, “We’ll catch up later, yeah?”


They leave quickly, to which Cas rolls his eyes.


“No, Cas, wait,” You shake your head, before lying it on his shoulder. He’s comfortable and familiar, and he hugs you close to him, “Thank you,” You whisper, “I owe you one.”

“I owe you nothing. It’s what you do when you love someone, correct?”

“Well, yeah, but-”

Suddenly, he grabs your face and presses his lips to yours, taking you by surprise. Nonetheless, you kiss him back, all of those feelings from what seems like a lifetime ago flooding back to you.

“You also do this when you love someone?” He pulls away only just enough to mumble those words, and you smile.

“Absolutely.” You whisper, looking into those perfect blue eyes. Angel or not, you’re home; just where you’re meant to be.

  • Me upon hearing my alarm: *annoyed zombie sounds*
  • Me when getting up: *sad zombie sounds*
  • Me when turning on a light: *pained zombie sounds*
  • Me in the morning: *betrayed zombie sounds*