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People always tell me to just say what I feel because what’s the worst that could happen, right? But what if, when I say that his touch makes me weak, his hands turn away as if they never kept me safe at night? What if, when I tell him I love him, his eyes turn to glass and stare through me as if he’s never felt my heart beat against his? What if, when I ask him to stay, he walks away and I never see him again? What do I do then? What if the worst thing that could happen, does?
I used to think about things that would destroy me and what came to mind was if I said I love you and you didn’t say it back. But now I think what would destroy me more is if I didn’t even get a chance to get to that point with you. The point where I care about you so much that your words have the power to destroy me. Because that’s something that’s earned. Because being in love with someone is giving them the power to destroy you. And I want to give you that power.

I know she really loves me
even though she hasn’t said
it yet. She doesn’t have to
because she has this kind
of smile, the one that tells
me she loves me. She doesn’t
have to say it. She just has
to smile.

I know he really loves me
because he has told me
more than once. The
thing is I do not know
if I do. I just do not
know how to tell him that.
Whenever I want to
I just break down and
smile.

—  ck.writes (on Instagram)