the life of fed

2

Let’s all pray that what I am about to say will have become obsolete by next Sunday night or the end of the series, but still, it needs to be said.

This scene is nonsensical garbage.

So much progress destroyed in a heartbeat. And turns out it’s not even Sherlock’s doing.

You know what I hate the most about it? Molly Hooper is a tool. And I’m not even talking of her having to deliver John’s message. Which is dreadful enough.

I’m thinking ‘narrative tool’.

Molly is undermined as being Victorian Mrs. Hudson’s worst nightmare: a plot device. This scene erases what Molly fundamentally is only to emphasise the drama going on between John and Sherlock. All I’ve read since are wonderful attempts in fanfic to fix this mistake. Because let’s face it. The Molly Hooper we know would never have agreed to say such a thing without at least providing some sort of comfort to Sherlock. Amirite? I call that a royal screw up. This is Mofftiss yet again shifting things around to serve their purpose. 

You can’t blame them for distancing their writing from ACD’s. They did their own version. Fine. But I am not going to let slide the fact that they managed to betray their one and only original creation. In one single line! All because everything needs to revolve around the two blokes. 

Utter bullshit.

Now, putting that disgusting fact aside and focusing on the story: by the end of the first episode, not one but two main characters are sacrificing themselves for the sake of keeping this toxic relationship at the center of the stage (and female ones at that. Talk about feminism. Is that what TAB was about Mofftiss? To get you off the hook for what is to come?).

One of them is even sacrificing herself in the most literal sense. 

And you know what? I should have known. They keep repeating it and yet I didn’t listen. It’s all about the two blokes. Molly doesn’t count. Mary even less. I’m heartbroken. 

What’s the point of my rant? This:

It is of course too late for Mary. And that’s a massive shame. But Molly. Molly Hooper is due. She is fucking due. If nothing comes out of this, and I’m talking BIG, I’m done.

2

“You can see which one [of my cats] loves people and which one maybe doesn’t as much; forget the fact that I’ve fed you every single day of your life.” [x]

Things Said To or About My Dog:
  • “KEEP YOUR BUTT TO YOURSELF!!”
  • “Did you just spit out your medicine?!”
  • “He acts like he’s never been fed in his life.”
  • “Stop having sex with inanimate objects!”
  • “He’d hurl himself into a volcano just to eat a French fry.”  
  • “Stop being an asshole.”
  • “Don’t look at me like that!”
  • “Give me some room to breathe, would you?”
  • “Oh my god. Please tell me you didn’t eat that.”
  • “My son is so rude.”
  • “You just do the opposite of everything I say don’t you?”
  • “Don’t backsass me!”
  • “It doesn’t need a pulse for [NAME] to get busy with it.”
  • “Really? You’re gonna do that right now? We have company.”
  • “I’m telling you, you don’t want to eat this. You won’t like it.”
  • “Look how cute your butt is!”
  • “Magikoopa your doopa!”
  • “Stealing?! Again?!”
  • “Just because you peed on it doesn’t mean it’s yours.”
  • “He brings his toys wherever he goes, then forgets and pees on them.”  
  • “This idiot just ran into the middle of the street and almost got hit!”
  • “Why are you so out of breath?”
  • “Sorry, he’s kind of racist.”
  • “Why are you so antisocial? Can’t you get along with anyone?”
  • “Believe it or not, sniffing someone’s butt isn’t very polite.”
  • “It’s not time to play. It’s time to go to bed.”
  • “Just because you can’t sleep doesn’t mean you should wake me up.”
  • “Why are you digging?”  
  • “What’s that in your mouth?”
  • “Oh, so now you’re ignoring me?”
  • “Look at that cute face!!”
  • “Just because it’s your birthday, doesn’t mean you can act like this.”
  • “Why is he running around like a lunatic?”
  • “You only eat under the table?”
  • “Wanna go swimming?”
  • “Leave him alone!”
8

Anyone ever tell you, all you Feds sound the same? It’s like you all watch the same bad movies together at Quantico. Who are you?

whatacasstastrophe  asked:

omg your headcannons are life. they fed my children and watered my crops and saved ten thousand dogs. but have you ever considered..... lance and coran

buddy… pal…….. thanks for this

  • coran ‘officially’ doesn’t have a favorite paladin. but. it’s lance
    • hunk is a close second but the cooking rivalry runs too deep
  • lance asks coran to teach him how to flirt in altean. coran teaches him how to say “are there any chores i can do today allura?” instead
  • textbook cases of crouching moron, hidden badass trope
  • lance: “i’m too young and beautiful to die!” coran: “i’m only one of those things but i still don’t wanna!”
  • coran gets an average of two marriage proposals from random aliens a month
    • lance is like. how.
    • “hunk do you think i could rock a mustache” “okay i’m gonna stop you right there”
  • “coran i think i know what the problem is. the castle’s systems have an updog infection” “what is updog?” “PIDGE GET IN HERE I TOLD YOU I COULD DO IT”
  • lance: *shares tender memory of something on earth that he misses* coran: *reciprocates wistfully with some horrifying altean bullshit*
    • seriously what even was altea
    • “i miss dogs. they’re animals that we keep around the house and they’re super cuddly and cute” “oh, we had creatures like that on altea! they were called glarots! except instead of being cuddly, they had spikes all over their bodies. the one i had back home could snap up three flame draks in one bite of its fourth jaw! *sigh* adorable little buggers, they were”

Bitty cooks all the time to procrastinate, so of course Jack has gotten used to the “Here, taste this” and the proffered spoon of whatever Bitty had decided to whip up for the day. Jack doesn’t even look up anymore when he’s helping Bitty chop up the vegetables, or if he’s watching a documentary on his laptop in the kitchen so he can keep Bitty company. He just opens his mouth as he continues to do whatever he’d been doing, and gives comments like, “Mmm,” “Good. I like this,” “Is there chicken in here,” and the “Hm. It’s okay,” which Bitty has learned to interpret as a ‘No, don’t feed me this anymore.’

They start unconsciously doing it everywhere. At the Haus, when Bitty scoops up the chicken salad he’d been mixing and shoves it towards Jack, who’s already leaning in, Holster complains to Ransom, “Why don’t you feed me like that? It’s like you don’t love me anymore, bro.” (Ransom responds, “Bro I used to and then you betrayed me and ate more than half of your share of the sundae.”) When Bob and Alicia visit Providence, they witness Bitty in the process of feeding Jack a spoonful of something that looks like casserole, and Alicia didn’t even have time to comment, “Jack, I thought you didn’t like casserole” when Jack says, “It’s good. Is there more?” They go to a fair when they visit Georgia and Bitty doesn’t even think twice before spooning the slush from his snow cone and offering it to Jack, who nearly swallows the entire spoon because he hadn’t been paying attention.

Jack finally returns the favor at their wedding, when he offers Bitty his forkful of cake and kisses the icing off the corner of Bitty’s face.