the life and times of butch dykes

anonymous asked:

hi i'm the anon who originally asked about lesbian specific terms- i'm a lesbian myself, i was asking because i saw some bi women who said it was biphobic of lesbians to ask them not to use terms like butch, femme, and dyke, as well as my bi friend using dyke to refer to herself multiple times which made me a little :/// and i was wondering your thoughts on that

oh that’s cool well to summarisei definitely don’t think it’s okay for us to use d*ke (which is why i wanna censor it) because it is a negative word that we have no right to reclaim and i know my own real life friends who are lesbians wouldn’t care about me using butch and femme but i don’t like to tbh because to me they are very lesbian specific terms and not only does it feel like i’m trying to push into a group im not a part of but it actually feels like i’m erasing my bisexuality if that makes sense lmao but yeah i don’t think it’s biphobic for lesbian women to ask bi girls not to use it because at the end of the day the words were founded by lesbian women to describe the way they experience their sexuality so i get it

So I went home with a lesbian last night.

For visual aid, this is me:

This isn’t me every day.  Sometimes, this is me when I feel pretty and blow my hair out:

But for the purposes of this little story, y’all should know I was wearing a hoodie and a baseball cap and a full beard yesterday, so I wasn’t really feeling my oats and whipping my hair.  I would never really call myself masculine (ever), but sometimes the impression is there (if I don’t laugh too hard, smile with all my teeth, or sashay away).  I’ve been hit on before by lesbians if I was wearing a dress and my hair was just done, but this ain’t that.  I was in full boydrag yesterday.  

Anyway, I wanna tell y’all about how I got macked on last night by this stud in Midtown and now I’m wearing the same clothes I had on yesterday.

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I can’t believe what’s happen for me in my life,” Lea DeLaria said, praising the conversations Big Boo has started about “butch.” “I’ve been this out person for a long time. But usually, when a 16-year-old boy walks up to me on the street the street, it’s to spit in my face and call me a dyke and now it’s to hug me and tell me how much he loves ‘Orange Is The New Black.’
— 

*Screams* Representation matters! I’m so emotional about this dumb awesome show, somebody hold me.

Dear future girlfriend,

i don’t know who you are, or when you’ll come…..but you’ll be my princess. You’ll be my one and only. I promise that we’ll be together no matter what. let me help you through this storm. Don’t let go. I love you more then anything. You are my dream come true. You are so beautiful, and i am so happy to have been blessed to spend my time on earth with a girl like you. I don’t ever want you to go. Stay right here with me. When i hold you, time stops. Only you and i matter. When you come to me, i know you’ll be the one. When i look at you, i’ll be out of breath. I’ll be looking at the girl that i know i’ll spend the rest of my life with. I promise to dedicate my heart,and soul to you, hoping you’ll do the same.

I’m a Girl. Wait… Am I?

The video said to just try

Say it out-loud

Like hearing your own voice

Might provide clarity and direction.

So, here goes.

One

Two

Three

I’m a girl.

Have always been a girl.

Will always be a girl.

The feeling of my gut in my chest

And my heart in my throat

Tells me I am uncomfortable.

I trip on the last phrase,

Like I cannot believe

Forever and always

I will remain this feminine creature.

I’m a boy.

I am a boy.

I have been a boy

And I will always be a boy.

My jaw trembles and my teeth

They clatter together

I call it my anxiety shakes

But I think it might be

My voice box so

Excited to finally say

What I have been trying to say

To myself,

To my family,

Even to my ex.

I am a boy,

Everybody,

I am a boy.

They call it Transgender

When you are born as a body

Which appears to be one gender

But is actually another.

I grew boobs when I was 11,

But I didn’t notice until

Playing baseball with my brothers

These inconvenient flopping jugs

Bounced all over my chest.

It made running really hard.

I got my period at 12,

And I cried and hid the truth

From my mother.

I didn’t want it to come.

But it did anyways.

Just like these breasts attached

To my body. I didn’t want them

And I never have.

But damn it, I gave being female

All I had. I tried out makeup,

Shaving, dresses, school dance with a boy as my date.

I tried to fit in in college.

But I felt so awkward all the time.

Girls changing in front of me all the time

And I wanted to cover up all my skin

And rip my breasts from my body.

I wanted to be someone else, because

I couldn’t find the me whom I love

Underneath the layers of girl plastered

All over me.

I became a lesbian

I became a dyke

I became butch (well, I’ve always been butch)

And I need to just let it go,

I am no woman.

I’m a man. I am a man.

And that,

That is the most beautiful thing I know about me.

Through all the shit of this life of mine,

Here I am at 25 at last getting to welcome

Me.

I welcome me, the boy

The man

The person.

You are most welcome, Mr. Jo Progo,

Most welcome indeed.