After a week has passed, I’m emotionally prepared to write this. Firstly, I am really proud of Monsta X and Monbebe for achieving what seemed like an impossible task.
Being part of “Beautiful” promotions, I experienced the disappointment and pain—especially because the boys put so much of their heart and soul into it. It was their first full album—finally with Wonho’s original songs and composition; they created their own choreography for the dance; every song on the album was perfect. It was the epic final installment of the x-clan series. They’d never done anything on this scale before. We really thought this was it. But no…numerous groups were also suddenly having comebacks and Monsta X’s glorious masterful symphony was drowned out. I felt helpless and so confused. I kept wondering how so much talent could go by unnoticed for so long. They were active for nearly two years now and it felt like both Monsta X and Monbebe were being smothered by the hard and unfair industry of kpop. It hurt more when I found that numerous other groups before them had won numerous times in the early parts of their careers. It felt like they were being bullied or teased. It’s clear they’re amazing yet no one else seemed to notice. They’re on a level and caliber that is completely different and more intense than any other—which is why I feel a lot of people are put off. They’re intimidated by perfection. No one had heard of them. And if they had, they still pronounced it as fucking “MONSTER X.” They slowly became the boy group that people called “the group that had never won anything” without knowing anything of Monsta X’s struggle and fight to make it to where they are now. They left brothers behind as they each passionately clawed their way to the top. But this disregard only made Monbebe more set on doing this for our boys. It became our goal to give them their first win.
We wanted to. Not because we wanted to be a fan of a popular group—because they fucking deserve it. Not only because they work so hard that they don’t even sleep anymore—because they are all so musically talented, are the kings of choreography, and have such lovable, beautiful personalities; and, simply put, isn’t that what an idol is supposed to be!?
And we wanted to do this because we all remembered that fateful vlive that broke our hearts; when Wonho started crying out of nowhere—not because they didn’t win; but because he felt they disappointed Monbebe. All six of the other members began crying too as they thought about Monbebe and our deep commitment to them. They were grateful for our efforts, but they felt responsible for not measuring up. Actually, it was us Monbebe that felt we were falling short! This is basically our relationship. And from day one, Monsta X had dreams and ambitions—which is why I love them so damn much; their passion just moves me. First, it was to debut and then it was to become number one. So don’t go saying that a first win isn’t everything.
I hope that the foolish, selfish fools—that wanted to leave because they were annoyed with Monbebe’s strong desire to give Monsta X their first win—felt regret when they saw my boys cry, when they saw the tears fall from Hyungwon’s beautiful eyes, when they heard Minhyuk’s distorted acceptance speech, when they saw the poetic and usually so good with words Wonho suddenly unable to speak, when they saw strong leader Shownu’s face give into the tears when he realized what had happened. It wasn’t winning something that mattered to Monsta X—if you knew anything about them at all you’d know they’re anything but that shallow—it was the fact that so many people—some they’d never even met before—loved them this much and were willing to commit their time and effort to do this for them. It honestly hurt my heart so much to hear Wonho say he didn’t want to be nominated because he didn’t want to see Monbebe be disappointed again. He didn’t want us to cry for him and apologize to him for not being able to give them this gift. And they all vowed to work harder and be better from now on. But it’s not them that needs to change; it’s the world that needs to catch up.
With this win, we have made history. We are taking our first step to taking over kpop as my stars, my monsters, my kings have promised me from day one. We proved that the impossible was possible. I hope this doesn’t make Monsta X think our expectations of them are raised because of this. We are simply proud and overjoyed. We’ve never had expectations of them because we love them just the way they are. I know from now on, though, Monsta X and Monbebe will continue to grow and evolve. Whether this is our first and last win or this is our first win of many, I’m really proud of us and I’m grateful to be part of their journey. MONSTA X FIGHTING!!!