the level of incompetence in this office is staggering

The Night Before

Little Kylux fic that sort of got away from me, from a prompt from the fantastic @a-king-reciting-hamlet, in return for the fic she wrote me :)

‘Hux and Kylo get drunk together (purposefully or not) after a particularly harsh scolding from Snoke. Chaos ensues- they get blind drunk and pass out in each other’s arms. Waking up is the most awkward thing. And Kylo’s elbow is in Hux’s stomach.’


Hux did not cry. In fact Hux very rarely indicted he felt any emotions at all, save for frustration, rage and hatred. It seemed to Kylo that the only emotions the general did feel were directly related to power, and his unfailing grip on it.

The latest mission, a spying mission to a small desert planet was a complete disaster. Two Stormtroopers, hand-selected by Hux himself, had managed to infiltrate a training group of resistance fighters, with the objective of destroying the entire squadron, and much of it’s infrastructure. Really, it was a suicide mission. Both troopers knew this, went in more than willing to sacrifice their short and miserable lives for the Order.

Well, they’d assured Hux of this just before they left. Two days after their departure, both had stopped reporting. After further investigation, it was revealed that they had defected to the resistance. Perhaps his grip was slackening. In his mind he resolved to redouble the discipline on his men, beatings for even the slightest infractions. He could not slip again. 

 Snoke had chosen to ignore all this. Ren stood, silent and head bowed in the holochamber, not even glancing at Hux. ‘…incompetent, both of you!.’ Snoke raged, Hux trying to keep his face placid and his stare level. He’d faced worse than this.  He didn’t even bother to mention the reams of paperwork and the endless meetings with finance that Ren’s latest outbursts had caused him. If he could get away with it, he’d willingly strangle the overgrown child in his sleep.

‘And you, General’ Snoke turned, his eyes boring into Hux. ‘This is the third incident of such staggering failure. Your dispatch would bring me little pleasure, however plenty more officers would willingly take your place. I will watch your actions with interest.’It was a fight to keep his voice even, but the general had years of practice in icy indifference. ‘Of course, Sir. Any distractions will be taken care of, and I will return my focus to the order.’ 

He could have sworn he saw Ren smirk, the bastard.‘Ren. Your powers are useless without control. You are of little use to me, a spoiled and petulant child. Your emotions will be your downfall. Should you wish to prove your commitment, I suggest you..detatch yourself.’ His eyes drifted knowingly to Hux before he blinked away.

Hux stared into the empty space where Snoke had been. This was it, demotion, exile, or execution. He wasn’t sure what was worse. Allowing every gruesome possibility to swim through his mind like fish downstream, he continued standing at parade rest as usually did, feet planted, back perfectly straight. He thought that Kylo had left the room when he allowed a couple of tears to slip steadily down one cheek.

Taking a fortifying deep breath, he turned to walk out of the door. Ren stared at him as though he had suddenly grown an extra head. Hux never cried.Hux only scowled at him, wiping his cheek with the back of his hand. He would not give this idiot, this lumbering infant, the satisfaction of Hux losing his temper. Ren continued to look at him curiously.

Unable to think of something suitably cutting to say, he marched from the room, his greatcoat sweeping behind him. He seethed all the way to his quarters, embarrassed and defeated. Woe betide anyone who got in his way. He very rarely drank, he was not a social man and drunkenness had always seemed a deeply undignified and unappealing state.

But now alone in his bedroom, and unable to see any other promising options, he reached for a large, unopened bottle of clear liquid that sat on the top shelf, and poured himself a large glassful, collapsing into the chair by a small table and kicking off his boots irritably.

He had taken the first deep swig from a second glass and surfaced, coughing, when Ren entered. He considered pointing out Ren’s lack of security clearance for his quarters and never-ending flair for drama. But he made do with an arched eyebrow.‘I was…concerned.’ He said slowly by way of explanation.

Hux only laughed softly, looking down at a hole forming in the toe of one sock. How appropriate. ‘Considering my impending exile or demotion to some forsaken hell-hole light years from anywhere, or swift exit via the nearest airlock, I’d suggest you not worry yourself, Ren.’

Ren looked thoughtful again for a moment ‘Kylo, please, General. Or Hux, if you’d prefer.’Hux bristled a little but let it pass. There seemed little point protesting ‘Fine, of course, Kylo.’ He sighed, glancing back up at him. ‘I can’t believe I’d ask, but care for a drink?’ Kylo took a deep drink from the offered glass, wincing at the taste. ‘Just one?’ Hux shrugged. He had little tolerance for the stuff but fully intended to drink himself into oblivion. 

‘It seems strange’ he remarked, still looking at his worn sock ‘but after the second glass none of it seems so important any more. Which is probably why I usually abstain.’ He looked up at Kylo with something remarkably like a grin.

Kylo half-smiled in response. His face looked somehow more lop-sided when he did so. Mercifully he didn’t mention Hux’s earlier emotional lapse. ‘Perhaps I need a couple more then.’ He downed his glass and Hux re-filled both of them.

 After a few minutes quiet drinking and staring at the floor, Kylo spoke again‘I don’t see why Snoke continues to threaten you. He knows it’s ineffective and you’re the best he has.’ The attempt at a compliment threw Hux’s already jumbled mind into further disarray. Company that he was not obligated to spend time with was unusual, but in the moment, he was grateful.

‘I’m not sure about some of the Leader’s decisions. Maybe they’re beyond me.’ At one time, Kylo would have drawn his lightsabre and sliced him neatly in two for this heresy. Now he only nodded, taking another deep draught.

 ‘Where is your father?’ he asked eventually, turning to look at Hux. Even drunk it struck him as a strange question given recent events. ‘Retired. He lives on a forested planet, away from the struggles of the Order. I’m not sure if he’s still alive, we stopped speaking after I left the academy.’ Brief, but far more than he’s told anybody aboard this floating hulk. Kylo nods again, and now he’s staring at Hux, taking him in. It’s strangely uncomfortable, like being under a spotlight. 

‘Strange’ He speaks quietly although his rumbling voice still cuts through the room. 'My father was weak. He never understood the power of the dark side. It undid him. Yours saw the power of the Order, and you were destined, molded for this job from birth. Strange how we both find ourselves here.’

This was all becoming a little profound for Hux. His father had been a bullying tyrant, but Hux had grown a thick skin in response. It had allowed him to rise to his current rank by his own strategy, ruthlessly seeing off opponents and crushing dissent beneath his boot. 'Very strange.’ he mused, returning to his drink. Kylo was still staring at him.

After draining his glass, Hux suddenly realized how desperately he had to piss. He stood, a little ungainly, and made his way slowly to the bathroom. Kylo observed him with apparent amusement. The room span as he stood at the sink, although not unpleasantly, He could feel oblivion teasing at the corners of his mind. 

 He isn’t precisely sure of how he ended up on the bed. It somehow seemed easier than  negotiating the table and chairs. He’s managed to get his tunic unbuttoned and flops onto the bed in just an Order-issued t-shirt and his trousers. Kylo has lain on the bed too, his long legs crossed at the ankle, his large, pale hands resting on his stomach. His eyes are closed. He looks a little vulnerable, and strangely elegant despite there being so much of him. 

Opening his eyes, Hux realizes dimly that he is closer that he has ever been to Kylo. He smells like the trees that grew in his mother’s garden. He breathes steadily, although he’s not asleep.He turns his head to Hux, a slightly drunken grin pulling at one side of his mouth. 'I’m in your bed, general.’ he slurs, apparently finding this amusing. 'You’re also a sloppy drunk.’ Hux comments, but he’s smiling. Nobody has been in his bed for a long time.

'You offered, and I drank.’ Kylo protests, turning to lie on his side. Had he not already been well-oiled, the fumes on the younger man’s breath would have done the job. Kylo giggles. It’s a strange, high-pitched noise. Hux finds himself giggling too, an infectious fit of giggles although neither can quite put their finger on what’s funny other than the usually imposing, rumbling sith lord giggling like a little girl.

When it eventually subsides and Hux regains his breath, they are almost nose to nose. When did that happen? Kylo does have rather attractive brown eyes, kind of…melty (the best adjective Hux’s inebriated brain can provide). He thinks it’s a shame he has to wear that damn mask all the time when Kylo mumbles something.


’M'sorry, General.’

'Sorry for what?’

Without missing a beat Kylo is pressing his lips to Hux’s, one of his hands slipping into the small of his back to pull him closer An unexpected turn of events. Hux forgets that he’s supposed to respond for a few seconds, before his traitorous body decides that it rather liked how this was going. Before he knows, his hand is sliding across Kylo’s hip, and his tongue is seeking to explore a little more of his mouth.

 Kylo’s other hand has found it’s way beneath Hux’s neck and is in his hair, his rough fingertips messing it up. He’s reduced men to tears for lesser offences, but this feels incredible, and he can’t stop a loud moan as the long fingers trace across his scalp. Kylo’s hands continue, tracing his scalp, neck, every ridge and sharp curve of Hux’s back, eventually impatiently pushing the hem of his t-shirt aside at his waist to stroke the skin beneath. Hux is gasping against his ear even though he really shouldn’t be, his own hands have pushed a lot of the flowing nonsense that is Kylo’s robe aside, his lips seeking to kiss, and suck, leaving pink marks along the length of that pale neck.

 He’s not sure when they fall asleep. He’s sprawled across Kylo, his head   his head on his chest, a lazy heartbeat lulling him into deep sleep, the man’s arm warm around his back.

He wakes to a sharp pain in his stomach. Alter that, sharp pain everywhere. He’s slow to come around, dragging himself into consciousness. He can feel the soft huffs of breathing on the top of his head. Oh. He opens his eyes, painfully slow, and sees the handful of black cloth balled in his fist. And the broad chest that it’s attatched to. Oh. Right. Ren. Ren who is currently slumbering peacefully beneath him, drooling a little from his parted lips, messy black hair fanned across his pillows. Ren who he got blind drunk with last night. And..oh. The memory of the kiss hit him like a hammer between the eyes.

Before he could berate himself any further, Ren- Sorry, Kylo, began to stir. Through one half-opened eye, he gauged Hux, waiting for him to explode. 'Morning, General.’ he murmured lazily.

'Morning…Ren.’ Hux quickly tried to untangle himself, the sharp pain in his stomach turning out to be Kylo’s elbow. 'So I…we….forgot ourselves a little last night.’ He couldn’t quite meet Kylo’s gaze. What the hell was wrong with him? Kylo smiled that irritating little half-smile. 'You didn’t seem to mind.’

'I fear that may have been a mistake.’ Hux replied, moving to get out of bed. 'We can forget about this and go back to…abstaining.’ he groaned, remembering the Leader’s words from yesterday and how awful his life was about to get. This and emotional complications that he really didn’t need, great.

An arm catching him around the waist stopped him getting out of bed, and with surprising stregnth Kylo had thrown him back onto the mattress. Before he had time to ask exactly what he was doing, his lips were covered by Kylo’s, and he was rapidly forgetting exactly what he had to say. 'As I said’ Kylo murmured , pulling away only just enough to speak 'You didn’t seem to mind.’